Wit.Nay, by Saint George! they go not all yet.Rea.No? will ye disobey Reason, Wit?Wit.Father Reason! I pray ye, content ye!For we part not yet.Rea.Well, Wit! I went yeHad been no such man as now I see.Farewell![Exeat.Hon. Rec.He is angry.Wit.Yea, let him be!I do not pass!Come now, a bass!Hon. Rec.Nay, sir, as for basses,From hence none passesBut as in gageOf marriage.Wit.Marry, even so!A bargain, lo!Hon. Rec.What, without licenceOf Lady Science?Wit.Shall I tell you truth?I never loved her.Hon. Rec.The common voice goethThat marriage ye moved her.Wit.Promise hath she none.If we shall be one,Without mo words grant!Hon. Rec.What, upon this sudden?Then might ye plainBid me avaunt!Nay, let me seeIn honestyWhat ye can doTo win Recreation;Upon that probationI grant thereto.Wit.Small be my doings,But apt to all thingsI am, I trust.Hon. Rec.Can ye dance than?Wit.Even as I can.Prove me ye must.Hon. Rec.Then, for a while,Ye must exileThis garment cumbering.Wit.Indeed, as ye say,This cumbrous arrayWould make Wit slumbering.Hon. Rec.It is gay gearOf Science clear—It seemeth her array.Wit.Whosever it were,It lieth now there![Taketh off his gown.Hon. Rec.Go to, my men, play!
Wit.Nay, by Saint George! they go not all yet.
Rea.No? will ye disobey Reason, Wit?
Wit.Father Reason! I pray ye, content ye!For we part not yet.
Rea.Well, Wit! I went yeHad been no such man as now I see.Farewell![Exeat.
Hon. Rec.He is angry.
Wit.Yea, let him be!I do not pass!Come now, a bass!
Hon. Rec.Nay, sir, as for basses,From hence none passesBut as in gageOf marriage.
Wit.Marry, even so!A bargain, lo!
Hon. Rec.What, without licenceOf Lady Science?
Wit.Shall I tell you truth?I never loved her.
Hon. Rec.The common voice goethThat marriage ye moved her.
Wit.Promise hath she none.If we shall be one,Without mo words grant!
Hon. Rec.What, upon this sudden?Then might ye plainBid me avaunt!Nay, let me seeIn honestyWhat ye can doTo win Recreation;Upon that probationI grant thereto.
Wit.Small be my doings,But apt to all thingsI am, I trust.
Hon. Rec.Can ye dance than?
Wit.Even as I can.Prove me ye must.
Hon. Rec.Then, for a while,Ye must exileThis garment cumbering.
Wit.Indeed, as ye say,This cumbrous arrayWould make Wit slumbering.
Hon. Rec.It is gay gearOf Science clear—It seemeth her array.
Wit.Whosever it were,It lieth now there![Taketh off his gown.
Hon. Rec.Go to, my men, play!
Here they dance, and in the meanwhileIdlenesscometh in and sitteth down, and whenthe galliard is done,Witsaith as followeth,and so falleth down inIdleness'lap.
Wit.Sweetheart, gramercys!Hon. Rec.Why, whither now? Have ye done, since?Wit.Yea, in faith! with weary bones ye have possessed me;Among these damsels now will I rest me.Hon. Rec.What, there?Wit.Yea, here; I will be so bold.Idleness.Yea, and welcome, by him that God sold!Hon. Rec.It is an harlot; may ye not see?Idle.As honest a woman as ye be!Hon. Rec.Her name is Idleness. Wit! what mean you?Idle.Nay! what mean you to scold thus, you quean, you?Wit.There, go to! Lo! now for the best game!While I take my ease, your tongues now frame!Hon. Rec.Yea, Wit! by your faith, is that your fashion?Will ye leave me, Honest Recreation,For that common strumpet, Idleness,The very root of all viciousness?Wit.She saith she is as honest as ye.Declare yourselves both now as ye be!Hon. Rec.What would ye more for my declarationThan even my name, Honest Recreation?And what would ye more her to expressThan even her name, too, Idleness—Destruction of all that with her tarry?Wherefore come away, Wit! she will mar ye!Idle.Will I mar him, drab? thou callet, thou!When thou hast marred him already now?Callest thou thyself Honest Recreation,Ordering a poor man after this fashion,To lame him thus, and make his limbs fail,Even with the swinging there of thy tail?The devil set fire on thee! for now must I,Idleness, heal him again, I spy.I must now lull him, rock him, and frame himTo his lust again, where thou didst lame him.Am I the root, sayest thou, of viciousness?Nay! thou art root of all vice, doubtless!Thou art occasion, lo! of more evilThan I, poor girl—nay, more than the devil!The devil and his dam cannot deviseMore devilishness than by thee doth rise!Under the name of Honest Recreation,She, lo! bringeth in her abomination!Mark her dancing, her masking, and mumming—Where more concupiscence than there coming?Her carding, her dicing, daily and nightly—Where find ye more falsehood than there? Not lightly!With lying and swearing, by no poppets;But tearing God in a thousand gobbets.As for her singing, piping and fiddling—What unthriftiness therein is twiddling!Search the taverns and ye shall hear, clear,Such bawdry as beasts would spue to hear.And yet, this is called Honest Recreation!And I, poor Idleness, abomination!But which is worst of us twain, now judge, Wit!Wit.By'r Lady! not thou! wench! I judge yet.Hon. Rec.No? Is your judgment such then that yeCan neither pe[r]ceive that beast, how sheGoeth about to deceive you, nor yetRemember how I saved your life, Wit?Think you her meet with me to compareBy whom so many wits cured are?When will she do such an act as I did,Saving your life when I you revived?And, as I saved you, so save I allThat in like jeopardy chance to fall.When Tediousness to ground hath smitten them,Honest Recreation up doth quicken themWith such honest pastimes, sports or games,As unto mine honest nature frames;And not, as she saith, with pastimes suchAs be abused little or much:For, where honest pastimes be abused,Honest Recreation is refused;Honest Recreation is present neverBut where honest pastimes be well used ever.But, indeed, Idleness, she is causeOf all such abuses; she, lo! drawsHer sort to abuse mine honest games;And, thereby, full falsely my name defames.Under the name of Honest RecreationShe bringeth in all her abomination,Destroying all wits that her embrace,As yourself shall see within short space.She will bring you to shameful end, Wit,Except the sooner from her ye flit.Wherefore, come away, Wit, out of her paws!Hence, drab! let him go out of thy claws!Idle.Will ye get ye hence? or, by the mace!These claws shall claw you by your drab's face!Hon. Rec.Ye shall not need; since Wit lieth as oneThat neither heareth nor seeth, I am gone.[Exeat.Idle.Yea, so? farewell! And well fare thou, tongue!Of a short peal, this peal was well rung,To ring her hence, and him fast asleep,As full of sloth as the knave can creep!How, Wit! awake! How doth my baby?Neque vox neque sensus, by'r Lady!A meet man for Idleness, no doubt.Hark, my pig! how the knave doth rout!Well, while he sleepeth in Idleness' lap,Idleness' mark on him shall I clap.Some say that Idleness cannot wark;But those that so say, now let them mark!I trow they shall see that IdlenessCan set herself about some business;Or, at the least, ye shall see her tried,Neither idle, nor well occupied.[She markethWit.Lo, sir! yet ye lack another toy!Where is my whistle to call my boy?
Wit.Sweetheart, gramercys!
Hon. Rec.Why, whither now? Have ye done, since?
Wit.Yea, in faith! with weary bones ye have possessed me;Among these damsels now will I rest me.
Hon. Rec.What, there?
Wit.Yea, here; I will be so bold.
Idleness.Yea, and welcome, by him that God sold!
Hon. Rec.It is an harlot; may ye not see?
Idle.As honest a woman as ye be!
Hon. Rec.Her name is Idleness. Wit! what mean you?
Idle.Nay! what mean you to scold thus, you quean, you?
Wit.There, go to! Lo! now for the best game!While I take my ease, your tongues now frame!
Hon. Rec.Yea, Wit! by your faith, is that your fashion?Will ye leave me, Honest Recreation,For that common strumpet, Idleness,The very root of all viciousness?
Wit.She saith she is as honest as ye.Declare yourselves both now as ye be!
Hon. Rec.What would ye more for my declarationThan even my name, Honest Recreation?And what would ye more her to expressThan even her name, too, Idleness—Destruction of all that with her tarry?Wherefore come away, Wit! she will mar ye!
Idle.Will I mar him, drab? thou callet, thou!When thou hast marred him already now?Callest thou thyself Honest Recreation,Ordering a poor man after this fashion,To lame him thus, and make his limbs fail,Even with the swinging there of thy tail?The devil set fire on thee! for now must I,Idleness, heal him again, I spy.I must now lull him, rock him, and frame himTo his lust again, where thou didst lame him.Am I the root, sayest thou, of viciousness?Nay! thou art root of all vice, doubtless!Thou art occasion, lo! of more evilThan I, poor girl—nay, more than the devil!The devil and his dam cannot deviseMore devilishness than by thee doth rise!Under the name of Honest Recreation,She, lo! bringeth in her abomination!Mark her dancing, her masking, and mumming—Where more concupiscence than there coming?Her carding, her dicing, daily and nightly—Where find ye more falsehood than there? Not lightly!With lying and swearing, by no poppets;But tearing God in a thousand gobbets.As for her singing, piping and fiddling—What unthriftiness therein is twiddling!Search the taverns and ye shall hear, clear,Such bawdry as beasts would spue to hear.And yet, this is called Honest Recreation!And I, poor Idleness, abomination!But which is worst of us twain, now judge, Wit!
Wit.By'r Lady! not thou! wench! I judge yet.
Hon. Rec.No? Is your judgment such then that yeCan neither pe[r]ceive that beast, how sheGoeth about to deceive you, nor yetRemember how I saved your life, Wit?Think you her meet with me to compareBy whom so many wits cured are?When will she do such an act as I did,Saving your life when I you revived?And, as I saved you, so save I allThat in like jeopardy chance to fall.When Tediousness to ground hath smitten them,Honest Recreation up doth quicken themWith such honest pastimes, sports or games,As unto mine honest nature frames;And not, as she saith, with pastimes suchAs be abused little or much:For, where honest pastimes be abused,Honest Recreation is refused;Honest Recreation is present neverBut where honest pastimes be well used ever.But, indeed, Idleness, she is causeOf all such abuses; she, lo! drawsHer sort to abuse mine honest games;And, thereby, full falsely my name defames.Under the name of Honest RecreationShe bringeth in all her abomination,Destroying all wits that her embrace,As yourself shall see within short space.She will bring you to shameful end, Wit,Except the sooner from her ye flit.Wherefore, come away, Wit, out of her paws!Hence, drab! let him go out of thy claws!
Idle.Will ye get ye hence? or, by the mace!These claws shall claw you by your drab's face!
Hon. Rec.Ye shall not need; since Wit lieth as oneThat neither heareth nor seeth, I am gone.[Exeat.
Idle.Yea, so? farewell! And well fare thou, tongue!Of a short peal, this peal was well rung,To ring her hence, and him fast asleep,As full of sloth as the knave can creep!How, Wit! awake! How doth my baby?Neque vox neque sensus, by'r Lady!A meet man for Idleness, no doubt.Hark, my pig! how the knave doth rout!Well, while he sleepeth in Idleness' lap,Idleness' mark on him shall I clap.Some say that Idleness cannot wark;But those that so say, now let them mark!I trow they shall see that IdlenessCan set herself about some business;Or, at the least, ye shall see her tried,Neither idle, nor well occupied.[She markethWit.Lo, sir! yet ye lack another toy!Where is my whistle to call my boy?
Here she whistleth, andIngnorancycometh in.
[Ingnorancy.] I come! I come!Idle.Come on, ye fool!All this day or ye can come to school?Ingn.Um! mother will not let me come.Idle.I would thy mother had kissed thy bum!She will never let thee thrive, I trow!Come on, goose! Now, lo! men shall knowThat Idleness can do somewhat, yea!And play the schoolmistress, too, if need be.Mark what doctrine by Idleness comes!Say thy lesson, fool!Ingn.Upon my thumbs?Idle.Yea, upon thy thumbs: is not there thy name?Ingn.Yeas.Idle.Go too, then; spell me that same!Where was thou born?Ingn.Chwas i-bore in England, mother said.Idle.In Ingland?Ingn.Yea!Idle.And what's half Ingland?Here'sIng; and here'sland. What's 'tis?Ingn.What's 'tis?Idle.What's 'tis? whoreson! what's 'tis?Here'sIng; and here'sland. What's 'tis?Ingn.'Tis my thumb.Idle.Thy thumb?Ing, whoreson!Ing, Ing!Ingn.Ing, Ing, Ing, Ing!Idle.Forth! Shall I beat thy narse, now?Ingn.Um-m-m—Idle.Shall I not beat thy narse, now?Ingn.Um-um-um—Idle.Sayno, fool! sayno.Ingn.Noo, noo, noo, noo, noo!Idle.Go to, put together!Ing!Ingn.Ing.Idle.No!Ingn.Noo.Idle.Forth now! What saith the dog?Ingn.Dog bark.Idle.Dog bark? Dogran, whoreson! dogran!Ingn.Dog ran, whoreson! dog ran, dog ran!Idle.Put together:Ing!Ingn.Ing.Idle.No!Ingn.Noo.Idle.Ran!Ingn.Ran.Idle.Forth now; what saith the goose?Ingn.Lag! lag!Idle.His, whoreson!his!Ingn.His, his-s-s-s-s!Idle.Go to, put together:Ing.Ingn.Ing.Idle.No.Ingn.Noo.Idle.Ran.Ingn.Ran.Idle.Hys.Ingn.His-s-s-s-s-s-s.Idle.Now, who is a good boy?Ingn.I, I, I! I, I, I!Idle.Go to, put together:Ing.Ingn.Ing.Idle.No.Ingn.Noo.Idle.Ran.Ingn.Ran.Idle.His.Ingn.His-s-s-s-s-s-s.Idle.I.Ingn.I.Idle.Ing-no-ran-his-I.Ingn.Ing-no-ran-his-s-s-s.Idle.I.Ingn.I.Idle.Ing.Ingn.Ing.Idle.Foorth!Ingn.His-s-s-s.Idle.Yea,no, whoreson!no!Ingn.Noo, noo, noo, noo.Idle.Ing-no.Ingn.Ing-noo.Idle.Forth now!Ingn.His-s-s-s-s.Idle.Yet again;ran, whoreson!ran, ran!Ingn.Ran, whoreson, ran, ran.Idle.Ran, say!Ingn.Ran-say.Idle.Ran, whoreson!Ingn.Ran, whoreson.Idle.Ran.Ingn.Ran.Idle.Ing-no-ran.Ingn.Ing-no-ran.Idle.Foorth, now! What said the goose?Ingn.Dog bark.Idle.Dog bark?His, whoreson!his-s-s-s-s-s.Ingn.His-s-s-s-s-s.Idle.I: Ing-no-ran-his-I.Ingn.Ing-no-ran-his-I-s-s-s.Idle.I.Ingn.I.Idle.How sayest, now, fool? Is not there thy name?Ingn.Yea.Idle.Well then; can me that same!What hast thou learned?Ingn.Ich cannot tell.Idle.Ich cannot tell—thou sayest even very well!For, if thou couldst tell, then had not I wellTaught thee thy lesson which must be taught;To tell all, when thou canst tell right naught.Ingn.Ich can my lesson.Idle.Yea; and, therefore,Shalt have a new coat, by God I swore!Ingn.A new coat?Idle.Yea, a new coat, by-and-by.Off with this old coat!a new coat, cry!Ingn.A new coat, a new coat! a new coat!Idle.Peace! whoreson fool!Wilt thou wake him now? Unbutton thy coat, fool!Canst thou do nothing?Ingn.I note how choold be.Idle.I note how choold be!A fool betide thee!So wisely it speaketh; come on, now! when?Put back thine arm, fool!
[Ingnorancy.] I come! I come!
Idle.Come on, ye fool!All this day or ye can come to school?
Ingn.Um! mother will not let me come.
Idle.I would thy mother had kissed thy bum!She will never let thee thrive, I trow!Come on, goose! Now, lo! men shall knowThat Idleness can do somewhat, yea!And play the schoolmistress, too, if need be.Mark what doctrine by Idleness comes!Say thy lesson, fool!
Ingn.Upon my thumbs?
Idle.Yea, upon thy thumbs: is not there thy name?
Ingn.Yeas.
Idle.Go too, then; spell me that same!Where was thou born?
Ingn.Chwas i-bore in England, mother said.
Idle.In Ingland?
Ingn.Yea!
Idle.And what's half Ingland?Here'sIng; and here'sland. What's 'tis?
Ingn.What's 'tis?
Idle.What's 'tis? whoreson! what's 'tis?Here'sIng; and here'sland. What's 'tis?
Ingn.'Tis my thumb.
Idle.Thy thumb?Ing, whoreson!Ing, Ing!
Ingn.Ing, Ing, Ing, Ing!
Idle.Forth! Shall I beat thy narse, now?
Ingn.Um-m-m—
Idle.Shall I not beat thy narse, now?
Ingn.Um-um-um—
Idle.Sayno, fool! sayno.
Ingn.Noo, noo, noo, noo, noo!
Idle.Go to, put together!Ing!
Ingn.Ing.
Idle.No!
Ingn.Noo.
Idle.Forth now! What saith the dog?
Ingn.Dog bark.
Idle.Dog bark? Dogran, whoreson! dogran!
Ingn.Dog ran, whoreson! dog ran, dog ran!
Idle.Put together:Ing!
Ingn.Ing.
Idle.No!
Ingn.Noo.
Idle.Ran!
Ingn.Ran.
Idle.Forth now; what saith the goose?
Ingn.Lag! lag!
Idle.His, whoreson!his!
Ingn.His, his-s-s-s-s!
Idle.Go to, put together:Ing.
Ingn.Ing.
Idle.No.
Ingn.Noo.
Idle.Ran.
Ingn.Ran.
Idle.Hys.
Ingn.His-s-s-s-s-s-s.
Idle.Now, who is a good boy?
Ingn.I, I, I! I, I, I!
Idle.Go to, put together:Ing.
Ingn.Ing.
Idle.No.
Ingn.Noo.
Idle.Ran.
Ingn.Ran.
Idle.His.
Ingn.His-s-s-s-s-s-s.
Idle.I.
Ingn.I.
Idle.Ing-no-ran-his-I.
Ingn.Ing-no-ran-his-s-s-s.
Idle.I.
Ingn.I.
Idle.Ing.
Ingn.Ing.
Idle.Foorth!
Ingn.His-s-s-s.
Idle.Yea,no, whoreson!no!
Ingn.Noo, noo, noo, noo.
Idle.Ing-no.
Ingn.Ing-noo.
Idle.Forth now!
Ingn.His-s-s-s-s.
Idle.Yet again;ran, whoreson!ran, ran!
Ingn.Ran, whoreson, ran, ran.
Idle.Ran, say!
Ingn.Ran-say.
Idle.Ran, whoreson!
Ingn.Ran, whoreson.
Idle.Ran.
Ingn.Ran.
Idle.Ing-no-ran.
Ingn.Ing-no-ran.
Idle.Foorth, now! What said the goose?
Ingn.Dog bark.
Idle.Dog bark?His, whoreson!his-s-s-s-s-s.
Ingn.His-s-s-s-s-s.
Idle.I: Ing-no-ran-his-I.
Ingn.Ing-no-ran-his-I-s-s-s.
Idle.I.
Ingn.I.
Idle.How sayest, now, fool? Is not there thy name?
Ingn.Yea.
Idle.Well then; can me that same!What hast thou learned?
Ingn.Ich cannot tell.
Idle.Ich cannot tell—thou sayest even very well!For, if thou couldst tell, then had not I wellTaught thee thy lesson which must be taught;To tell all, when thou canst tell right naught.
Ingn.Ich can my lesson.
Idle.Yea; and, therefore,Shalt have a new coat, by God I swore!
Ingn.A new coat?
Idle.Yea, a new coat, by-and-by.Off with this old coat!a new coat, cry!
Ingn.A new coat, a new coat! a new coat!
Idle.Peace! whoreson fool!Wilt thou wake him now? Unbutton thy coat, fool!Canst thou do nothing?
Ingn.I note how choold be.
Idle.I note how choold be!A fool betide thee!So wisely it speaketh; come on, now! when?Put back thine arm, fool!
[Taketh offIngnorancy'scoat.
Ingn.Put back?Idle.So, lo! now let me see how this gearWill trim this gentleman that lieth here.Ah! God save it! so sweetly it doth sleep!While on your back this gay coat can creep,As feat as can be for this one arm.
Ingn.Put back?
Idle.So, lo! now let me see how this gearWill trim this gentleman that lieth here.Ah! God save it! so sweetly it doth sleep!While on your back this gay coat can creep,As feat as can be for this one arm.
[PuttethWit'sgown onIngnorancy.
Ingn.Oh! cham a-cold.Idle.Hold, fool! keep thee warm!And, come hither! hold this head here! soft now, for waking!Ye shall see one here brought in such takingThat he shall soon scantily know himself.Here is a coat as fit for this elfAs it had been made even for this body!
Ingn.Oh! cham a-cold.
Idle.Hold, fool! keep thee warm!And, come hither! hold this head here! soft now, for waking!Ye shall see one here brought in such takingThat he shall soon scantily know himself.Here is a coat as fit for this elfAs it had been made even for this body!
[PuttethIngnorancy'scoat onWit.
So! It beginneth to look like a noddie!Ingn.Um-m-m-m—Idle.What ailest now, fool?Ingn.New coat is gone!Idle.And why is it gone?Ingn.'Twool not bide on.Idle.'Twool not bide on?'Twould if it could!But marvel it were that it should—Science['s] garment on Ingnorancy['s] back!But now, let's see, sir! what do ye lack?Nothing but even to buckle here this throat,So well this Wit becometh a fool's coat!Ingn.He is I, now!Idle.Yea; how likest him now?Is he not a fool as well as thou?Ingn.Yeas!Idle.Well, then, one fool keep another!Give me this, and take thou that, brother!Ingn.Um-m—Idle.Pike thee home, go!Ingn.Chill go tell my moother![Exit.Idle.Yea, do!But yet, to take my leave of my dear, lo!With a skip or twain, here lo! and here lo!And, here again! and now, this heelTo bless his weak brain! Now are ye weel,By virtue of Idleness' blessing tool,Conjured from Wit unto a stark fool![ExitIdleness.
So! It beginneth to look like a noddie!
Ingn.Um-m-m-m—
Idle.What ailest now, fool?
Ingn.New coat is gone!
Idle.And why is it gone?
Ingn.'Twool not bide on.
Idle.'Twool not bide on?'Twould if it could!But marvel it were that it should—Science['s] garment on Ingnorancy['s] back!But now, let's see, sir! what do ye lack?Nothing but even to buckle here this throat,So well this Wit becometh a fool's coat!
Ingn.He is I, now!
Idle.Yea; how likest him now?Is he not a fool as well as thou?
Ingn.Yeas!
Idle.Well, then, one fool keep another!Give me this, and take thou that, brother!
Ingn.Um-m—
Idle.Pike thee home, go!
Ingn.Chill go tell my moother![Exit.
Idle.Yea, do!But yet, to take my leave of my dear, lo!With a skip or twain, here lo! and here lo!And, here again! and now, this heelTo bless his weak brain! Now are ye weel,By virtue of Idleness' blessing tool,Conjured from Wit unto a stark fool![ExitIdleness.
Confidencecometh in with a sword by his side;and sayeth as followeth:
[Confidence.] I seek and seek, as one on no groundCan rest; but, like a masterless hound,Wandering all about seeking his master.Alas, gentle Wit! I fear the fasterThat my true service cleaveth unto thee,The slacker thy mind cleaveth unto me;I have done thy message, in such sort,That I not only, for thy comfort,To vanquish thine enemy have brought hereA sword of comfort from thy love dear;But also, further, I have so inclined herThat, upon my words, she hath assigned her,In her own person, half-way to meet thee:And, hitherward, she came for to greet thee.And sure, except she be turned again,Hither will she come or be long, plain,To seek to meet thee here in this coast.But now, alas! thyself thou hast lost;Or, at the least, thou wilt not be found.Alas! gentle Wit, how dost thou woundThy trusty and true servant, Confidence,To lese my credence to Lady Science?Thou lesest me, too; for if I cannotFind thee shortly, longer live I may not;But shortly get me even into a cornerAnd die for sorrow through such a scorner![Exit.
[Confidence.] I seek and seek, as one on no groundCan rest; but, like a masterless hound,Wandering all about seeking his master.Alas, gentle Wit! I fear the fasterThat my true service cleaveth unto thee,The slacker thy mind cleaveth unto me;I have done thy message, in such sort,That I not only, for thy comfort,To vanquish thine enemy have brought hereA sword of comfort from thy love dear;But also, further, I have so inclined herThat, upon my words, she hath assigned her,In her own person, half-way to meet thee:And, hitherward, she came for to greet thee.And sure, except she be turned again,Hither will she come or be long, plain,To seek to meet thee here in this coast.But now, alas! thyself thou hast lost;Or, at the least, thou wilt not be found.Alas! gentle Wit, how dost thou woundThy trusty and true servant, Confidence,To lese my credence to Lady Science?Thou lesest me, too; for if I cannotFind thee shortly, longer live I may not;But shortly get me even into a cornerAnd die for sorrow through such a scorner![Exit.
Here they[Fame, Favour, Riches,andWorship]come in with viols.
Fame.Come, sirs! let us not disdain to doThat the World hath appointed us to.Favour.Since, to serve Science, the World hath sent us,As the World willeth us, let us content us.Riches.Content us we may, since we be assignedTo the fairest lady that liveth, in my mind!Worship.Then, let us not stay here mute and mum;But taste we these instruments till she come.
Fame.Come, sirs! let us not disdain to doThat the World hath appointed us to.
Favour.Since, to serve Science, the World hath sent us,As the World willeth us, let us content us.
Riches.Content us we may, since we be assignedTo the fairest lady that liveth, in my mind!
Worship.Then, let us not stay here mute and mum;But taste we these instruments till she come.
Here the[y] sing "Exceeding Measure."
Exceeding measure, with pains continual,Languishing in absence, alas! what shall I do?Unfortunate wretch! devoid of joys all,Sighs upon sighs redoubling my woe;And tears down falling from mine eyes too.Beauty with truth so doth me constrainEver to serve where I may not attain!Truth bindeth me ever to be true,Howso that fortune favoureth my chance.During my life none other but youOf my true heart shall have the governance!O, good sweet heart! have you remembranceNow, of your own, which for no smartExile shall you from my true heart!
Exceeding measure, with pains continual,Languishing in absence, alas! what shall I do?Unfortunate wretch! devoid of joys all,Sighs upon sighs redoubling my woe;And tears down falling from mine eyes too.Beauty with truth so doth me constrainEver to serve where I may not attain!
Truth bindeth me ever to be true,Howso that fortune favoureth my chance.During my life none other but youOf my true heart shall have the governance!O, good sweet heart! have you remembranceNow, of your own, which for no smartExile shall you from my true heart!
[ExperienceandScienceentereth whilethey sing.]
Experience.Daughter, what meaneth that ye did not sing?Science.Oh mother, for here remaineth a thing!Friends! we thank you for these your pleasures,Taken on us as chance to us measures.Wor.Lady! these our pleasures, and persons, too,Are sent to you, you service to do.Fame.Lady Science! to set forth your nameThe World, to wait on you, hath sent me, Fame.Fav.Lady Science! for your virtues most plentyThe World, to cherish you, Favour hath sent ye.Rich.Lady Science! for your benefits knownThe World, to maintain you, Riches hath thrown.Wor.And as the World hath sent you these three,So he sendeth me, Worship, to advance your degree.Sci.I thank thee, World! but, chiefly, God be praised!That, in the World, such love to Science hath raised!But yet, to tell you plain, ye four are suchAs Science looketh for, little nor much;For being, as I am, a lone woman,Need of your service I neither have nor can.But, thanking the World, and you, for your pain,I send ye to the World even now again!Wor.Why, lady! set ye no more store by me,Worship? Ye set nought by yourself, I see!Fame.She setteth nought by Fame; whereby I spy her—She careth not what the World sayeth by her.Fav.She setteth nought by Favour; whereby I try her—She careth not what the World sayeth or doeth by her.Rich.She setteth nought by Riches; which doth showShe careth not for the World. Come, let us go!
Experience.Daughter, what meaneth that ye did not sing?
Science.Oh mother, for here remaineth a thing!Friends! we thank you for these your pleasures,Taken on us as chance to us measures.
Wor.Lady! these our pleasures, and persons, too,Are sent to you, you service to do.
Fame.Lady Science! to set forth your nameThe World, to wait on you, hath sent me, Fame.
Fav.Lady Science! for your virtues most plentyThe World, to cherish you, Favour hath sent ye.
Rich.Lady Science! for your benefits knownThe World, to maintain you, Riches hath thrown.
Wor.And as the World hath sent you these three,So he sendeth me, Worship, to advance your degree.
Sci.I thank thee, World! but, chiefly, God be praised!That, in the World, such love to Science hath raised!But yet, to tell you plain, ye four are suchAs Science looketh for, little nor much;For being, as I am, a lone woman,Need of your service I neither have nor can.But, thanking the World, and you, for your pain,I send ye to the World even now again!
Wor.Why, lady! set ye no more store by me,Worship? Ye set nought by yourself, I see!
Fame.She setteth nought by Fame; whereby I spy her—She careth not what the World sayeth by her.
Fav.She setteth nought by Favour; whereby I try her—She careth not what the World sayeth or doeth by her.
Rich.She setteth nought by Riches; which doth showShe careth not for the World. Come, let us go!
[Fame,Favour,Riches,andWorshipgo out.
Sci.Indeed, small cause given to care for the World's favouring,Seeing the wits of [the] World be so wavering!Exp.What is the matter, daughter, that yeBe so sad? Open your mind to me.Sci.My marvel is no less, my good mother,Than my grief is great, to see, of all other,The proud scorn of Wit, son to Dame Nature,Who sent me a picture of his stature,With all the shape of himself there opening:His amorous love thereby betokening,Borne toward me in abundant fashion;And also, further, to make right relationOf this his love, he put in commissionSuch a messenger as no suspicionCould grow, in me, of him—Confidence.Exp.Um!Sci.Who, I ensure ye, with such vehemence,And faithful behaviour in his moving,Set forth the pith of his master's lovingThat no living creature could conjecteBut that pure love did that Wit direct.Exp.So?Sci.Now, this being since the spaceOf three times sending from place to place,Between Wit and his man, I hear no moreNeither of Wit, nor his love so sore!How think you by this, my own dear mother?Exp.Daughter! in this I can think none otherBut that it is true—this proverb old:Hasty love is soon hot, and soon cold!Take heed, daughter! how you put your trustTo light lovers, too hot at the first!For had this love of Wit been grounded,And on a sure foundation founded,Little void time would have been between yeBut that this Wit would have sent or seen ye.Sci.I think so.Exp.Yea; think ye so or no,Your mother, Experience, proof shall showThat Wit hath set his love, I dare say—And make ye warrantise!—another way.
Sci.Indeed, small cause given to care for the World's favouring,Seeing the wits of [the] World be so wavering!
Exp.What is the matter, daughter, that yeBe so sad? Open your mind to me.
Sci.My marvel is no less, my good mother,Than my grief is great, to see, of all other,The proud scorn of Wit, son to Dame Nature,Who sent me a picture of his stature,With all the shape of himself there opening:His amorous love thereby betokening,Borne toward me in abundant fashion;And also, further, to make right relationOf this his love, he put in commissionSuch a messenger as no suspicionCould grow, in me, of him—Confidence.
Exp.Um!
Sci.Who, I ensure ye, with such vehemence,And faithful behaviour in his moving,Set forth the pith of his master's lovingThat no living creature could conjecteBut that pure love did that Wit direct.
Exp.So?
Sci.Now, this being since the spaceOf three times sending from place to place,Between Wit and his man, I hear no moreNeither of Wit, nor his love so sore!How think you by this, my own dear mother?
Exp.Daughter! in this I can think none otherBut that it is true—this proverb old:Hasty love is soon hot, and soon cold!Take heed, daughter! how you put your trustTo light lovers, too hot at the first!For had this love of Wit been grounded,And on a sure foundation founded,Little void time would have been between yeBut that this Wit would have sent or seen ye.
Sci.I think so.
Exp.Yea; think ye so or no,Your mother, Experience, proof shall showThat Wit hath set his love, I dare say—And make ye warrantise!—another way.
[Witcometh before.
[Wit.] But your warrantise warrant no troth!Fair lady! I pray you be not wrothTill you hear more; for, dear Lady Science!Had your lover, Wit—yea, or Confidence,His man—been in health all this time spent,Long or this time Wit had come or sent;But the truth is, they have been both sick,Wit and his man: yea, and with pains thickBoth stayed by the way, so that your loverCould neither come nor send by none other.Wherefore blame not him, but chance of sickness!Sci.Who is this?Exp.Ingnorancy, or his likeness.Sci.What, the common fool?Exp.It is much like him.Sci.By my sooth! his tongue serveth him now trim.What sayest thou, Ingnorancy? Speak again!Wit.Nay, lady! I am not Ingnorancy, plain,But I am your own dear lover, Wit,That hath long loved you, and loveth you yet;Wherefore I pray thee now, my own sweeting!Let me have a kiss at this our meeting.Sci.Yea, so ye shall, anon, but not yet.Ah, sir! this fool here hath got some wit.Fall you to kissing, sir, now-a-days?Your mother shall charm you; go your ways!Wit.What needeth all this, my love of long grown?Will ye be so strange to me, your own?Your acquaintance to me was thought easy;But now your words make my heart all queasy,Your darts at me so strangely be shot.Sci.Hear ye what terms this fool here hath got?Wit.Well, I perceive my foolishness now;Indeed, ladies no dastards allow;I will be bold with my own darling!Come now, a bass, my own proper sparling!Sci.What wilt thou, arrant fool?Wit.Nay, by the mass!I will have a bass or I hence pass!Sci.What wilt thou, arrant fool? Hence, fool, I say!Wit.What! nothing but fool, and fool, all this day?By the mass, madam! ye can no good.Sci.Art a-swearing, too? Now, by my hood!Your foolish knave's breech six stripes shall bear!Wit.Yea, God's bones! fool and knave too? be ye there?By the mass, call me fool once again,And thou shalt sure call a blow or twain!Exp.Come away, daughter! the fool is mad.Wit.Nay, nor yet neither hence ye shall gad!We will gree better, or ye pass hence.I pray thee now, good sweet Lady Science!All this strange manner now hide and cover,And play the goodfellow with thy lover!Sci.What good-fellowship would ye of me,Whom ye know not, neither yet I know ye?Wit.Know ye not me?Sci.No! how should I know ye?Wit.Doth not my picture my person show ye?Sci.Your picture?Wit.Yea, my picture, lady!That ye spake of. Who sent it but I?Sci.If that be your picture, then shall weSoon see how you and your picture agree.Lo, here! the picture that I named is this.Wit.Yea, marry! mine own likeness this is.You having this, lady! and so lothTo know me, which this so plain showeth?Sci.Why, you are nothing like, in mine eye.Wit.No? How say ye?[ToExperience.Exp.As she saith, so say I.Wit.By the mass, then are ye both stark blind!What difference between this and this can ye find?Exp.Marry, this is fair, pleasant, and goodly;And ye are foul, displeasant, and ugly.Wit.Marry, avaunt, thou foul ugly whore!Sci.So, lo! now I perceive ye more and more.Wit.What! perceive you me as ye would make meA natural fool?Sci.Nay, ye mistake me;I take ye for no fool natural,But I take ye thus—shall I tell all?Wit.Yea, marry! tell me your mind, I pray ye,Whereto I shall trust. No more delay ye!Sci.I take ye for no natural fool,Brought up among the innocents' school;But for a naughty, vicious fool,Brought up with Idleness in her school:Of all arrogant fools thou art one!Wit.Yea, God's body!Exp.Come, let us be gone![The two go out.Wit.My sword! is it gone? A vengeance on them!Be they gone, too, and their heads upon them?But, proud queans! the devil go with you both!Not one point of courtesy in them goeth.A man is well at ease by suit to pain himFor such a drab, that so doth disdain him!So mocked, so louted, so made a sot—Never was I erst, since I was begot!Am I so foul as those drabs would make me?Where is my glass that Reason did take me?Now shall this glass of Reason soon try meAs fair as those drabs that so doth belie me.Ha! God's soul! what have we here? a devil?This glass, I see well, hath been kept evil.God's soul! a fool, a fool, by the mass!What—a very vengeance!—aileth this glass?Other this glass is shamefully spotted,Or else am I too shamefully blotted!Nay, by God's arms! I am so, no doubt!How look their faces here round about?All fair and clear they, everyone;And I, by the mass, a fool alone,Decked, by God's bones, like a very ass!Ignorance['s] coat, hood, ears—yea, by the mass!—Cockscomb and all; I lack but a bauble!And as for this face it is abominable;As black as the devil! God, for His passion!Where have I been rayed after this fashion?This same is Idleness—a shame take her!This same is her work—the devil in hell rake her!The whore hath shamed me forever, I trow!I trow? Nay, verily, I know!Now it is so, the stark fool I playBefore all people; now see it I may.Every man I see laugh me to scorn;Alas, alas! that ever I was born!It was not for nought, now well I see,That those two ladies disdained me.Alas! Lady Science, of all other—How have I railed on her and her mother!Alas! that lady I have now lostWhom all the world loveth and honoureth most!Alas! from Reason had I not varied,Lady Science or this I had married;And those four gifts which the World gave herI had won, too, had I kept her favour;Where now, instead of that lady brightWith all those gallants seen in my sight—Favour, Riches, yea, Worship and Fame—I have won Hatred, Beggary and Open Shame!
[Wit.] But your warrantise warrant no troth!Fair lady! I pray you be not wrothTill you hear more; for, dear Lady Science!Had your lover, Wit—yea, or Confidence,His man—been in health all this time spent,Long or this time Wit had come or sent;But the truth is, they have been both sick,Wit and his man: yea, and with pains thickBoth stayed by the way, so that your loverCould neither come nor send by none other.Wherefore blame not him, but chance of sickness!
Sci.Who is this?
Exp.Ingnorancy, or his likeness.
Sci.What, the common fool?
Exp.It is much like him.
Sci.By my sooth! his tongue serveth him now trim.What sayest thou, Ingnorancy? Speak again!
Wit.Nay, lady! I am not Ingnorancy, plain,But I am your own dear lover, Wit,That hath long loved you, and loveth you yet;Wherefore I pray thee now, my own sweeting!Let me have a kiss at this our meeting.
Sci.Yea, so ye shall, anon, but not yet.Ah, sir! this fool here hath got some wit.Fall you to kissing, sir, now-a-days?Your mother shall charm you; go your ways!
Wit.What needeth all this, my love of long grown?Will ye be so strange to me, your own?Your acquaintance to me was thought easy;But now your words make my heart all queasy,Your darts at me so strangely be shot.
Sci.Hear ye what terms this fool here hath got?
Wit.Well, I perceive my foolishness now;Indeed, ladies no dastards allow;I will be bold with my own darling!Come now, a bass, my own proper sparling!
Sci.What wilt thou, arrant fool?
Wit.Nay, by the mass!I will have a bass or I hence pass!
Sci.What wilt thou, arrant fool? Hence, fool, I say!
Wit.What! nothing but fool, and fool, all this day?By the mass, madam! ye can no good.
Sci.Art a-swearing, too? Now, by my hood!Your foolish knave's breech six stripes shall bear!
Wit.Yea, God's bones! fool and knave too? be ye there?By the mass, call me fool once again,And thou shalt sure call a blow or twain!
Exp.Come away, daughter! the fool is mad.
Wit.Nay, nor yet neither hence ye shall gad!We will gree better, or ye pass hence.I pray thee now, good sweet Lady Science!All this strange manner now hide and cover,And play the goodfellow with thy lover!
Sci.What good-fellowship would ye of me,Whom ye know not, neither yet I know ye?
Wit.Know ye not me?
Sci.No! how should I know ye?
Wit.Doth not my picture my person show ye?
Sci.Your picture?
Wit.Yea, my picture, lady!That ye spake of. Who sent it but I?
Sci.If that be your picture, then shall weSoon see how you and your picture agree.Lo, here! the picture that I named is this.
Wit.Yea, marry! mine own likeness this is.You having this, lady! and so lothTo know me, which this so plain showeth?
Sci.Why, you are nothing like, in mine eye.
Wit.No? How say ye?[ToExperience.
Exp.As she saith, so say I.
Wit.By the mass, then are ye both stark blind!What difference between this and this can ye find?
Exp.Marry, this is fair, pleasant, and goodly;And ye are foul, displeasant, and ugly.
Wit.Marry, avaunt, thou foul ugly whore!
Sci.So, lo! now I perceive ye more and more.
Wit.What! perceive you me as ye would make meA natural fool?
Sci.Nay, ye mistake me;I take ye for no fool natural,But I take ye thus—shall I tell all?
Wit.Yea, marry! tell me your mind, I pray ye,Whereto I shall trust. No more delay ye!
Sci.I take ye for no natural fool,Brought up among the innocents' school;But for a naughty, vicious fool,Brought up with Idleness in her school:Of all arrogant fools thou art one!
Wit.Yea, God's body!
Exp.Come, let us be gone![The two go out.
Wit.My sword! is it gone? A vengeance on them!Be they gone, too, and their heads upon them?But, proud queans! the devil go with you both!Not one point of courtesy in them goeth.A man is well at ease by suit to pain himFor such a drab, that so doth disdain him!So mocked, so louted, so made a sot—Never was I erst, since I was begot!Am I so foul as those drabs would make me?Where is my glass that Reason did take me?Now shall this glass of Reason soon try meAs fair as those drabs that so doth belie me.Ha! God's soul! what have we here? a devil?This glass, I see well, hath been kept evil.God's soul! a fool, a fool, by the mass!What—a very vengeance!—aileth this glass?Other this glass is shamefully spotted,Or else am I too shamefully blotted!Nay, by God's arms! I am so, no doubt!How look their faces here round about?All fair and clear they, everyone;And I, by the mass, a fool alone,Decked, by God's bones, like a very ass!Ignorance['s] coat, hood, ears—yea, by the mass!—Cockscomb and all; I lack but a bauble!And as for this face it is abominable;As black as the devil! God, for His passion!Where have I been rayed after this fashion?This same is Idleness—a shame take her!This same is her work—the devil in hell rake her!The whore hath shamed me forever, I trow!I trow? Nay, verily, I know!Now it is so, the stark fool I playBefore all people; now see it I may.Every man I see laugh me to scorn;Alas, alas! that ever I was born!It was not for nought, now well I see,That those two ladies disdained me.Alas! Lady Science, of all other—How have I railed on her and her mother!Alas! that lady I have now lostWhom all the world loveth and honoureth most!Alas! from Reason had I not varied,Lady Science or this I had married;And those four gifts which the World gave herI had won, too, had I kept her favour;Where now, instead of that lady brightWith all those gallants seen in my sight—Favour, Riches, yea, Worship and Fame—I have won Hatred, Beggary and Open Shame!
Shamecometh in with a whip.[Reasonfolloweth him.]