AN old bachelor's looks may be well preserved, but his heart is always embalmed.IT takes an awfully big man to own up to his wife that he was a little at fault in a quarrel.WHEN a man gets a wife who makes him happy, he lays it to his perspicacity; when he doesn't, he lays it on fate.LIFE is a game in four rubbers: hearts are trumps when a man is very young; clubs are trumps after he marries; diamonds are trumps as he waxes rich and gouty; and lastly—spades.TO flirt inartistically is like stepping on a woman's toes when you are waltzing with her; it gives her real pain.A MAN seldom marries when he loses his heart; he waits until he loses his head.
AN old bachelor's looks may be well preserved, but his heart is always embalmed.IT takes an awfully big man to own up to his wife that he was a little at fault in a quarrel.WHEN a man gets a wife who makes him happy, he lays it to his perspicacity; when he doesn't, he lays it on fate.LIFE is a game in four rubbers: hearts are trumps when a man is very young; clubs are trumps after he marries; diamonds are trumps as he waxes rich and gouty; and lastly—spades.TO flirt inartistically is like stepping on a woman's toes when you are waltzing with her; it gives her real pain.A MAN seldom marries when he loses his heart; he waits until he loses his head.
AN old bachelor's looks may be well preserved, but his heart is always embalmed.
IT takes an awfully big man to own up to his wife that he was a little at fault in a quarrel.
WHEN a man gets a wife who makes him happy, he lays it to his perspicacity; when he doesn't, he lays it on fate.
LIFE is a game in four rubbers: hearts are trumps when a man is very young; clubs are trumps after he marries; diamonds are trumps as he waxes rich and gouty; and lastly—spades.
TO flirt inartistically is like stepping on a woman's toes when you are waltzing with her; it gives her real pain.
A MAN seldom marries when he loses his heart; he waits until he loses his head.
A MAN is like a cat; chase him and he'll run; sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.WHAT a girl, who would be really popular, should do, is to wave a red danger flag at a man and then start to run in the opposite direction.THERE are some men who regard their wives' accomplishments with the same patronizing complacency that they feel toward the tricks of the educated monkey at the circus.DON'T always imagine that the man and woman who walk side by side without speaking to each other are angry; they may be only married.MASCULINITY covereth a multitude of sins.
A MAN is like a cat; chase him and he'll run; sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.WHAT a girl, who would be really popular, should do, is to wave a red danger flag at a man and then start to run in the opposite direction.THERE are some men who regard their wives' accomplishments with the same patronizing complacency that they feel toward the tricks of the educated monkey at the circus.DON'T always imagine that the man and woman who walk side by side without speaking to each other are angry; they may be only married.MASCULINITY covereth a multitude of sins.
A MAN is like a cat; chase him and he'll run; sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.
WHAT a girl, who would be really popular, should do, is to wave a red danger flag at a man and then start to run in the opposite direction.
THERE are some men who regard their wives' accomplishments with the same patronizing complacency that they feel toward the tricks of the educated monkey at the circus.
DON'T always imagine that the man and woman who walk side by side without speaking to each other are angry; they may be only married.
MASCULINITY covereth a multitude of sins.
THE man who whips his small son for lying to shield a girl, has a mental vision as narrow as a Rocky Mountain path and side walls of dogmatism as high as the Colorado Cañon.SATAN and Cupid are chums, who go about together looking for people who have nothing to do.MANY a woman has divorced her husband for "desertion" who cheerfully helped pack his trunk and pay for his railway ticket when he left her.A MAN'S conscience is made of India rubber—warranted to stretch as long as the fun lasts.SOME men think that by putting on a silk hat and a white Ascot tie they are disguised as gentlemen.
THE man who whips his small son for lying to shield a girl, has a mental vision as narrow as a Rocky Mountain path and side walls of dogmatism as high as the Colorado Cañon.SATAN and Cupid are chums, who go about together looking for people who have nothing to do.MANY a woman has divorced her husband for "desertion" who cheerfully helped pack his trunk and pay for his railway ticket when he left her.A MAN'S conscience is made of India rubber—warranted to stretch as long as the fun lasts.SOME men think that by putting on a silk hat and a white Ascot tie they are disguised as gentlemen.
THE man who whips his small son for lying to shield a girl, has a mental vision as narrow as a Rocky Mountain path and side walls of dogmatism as high as the Colorado Cañon.
SATAN and Cupid are chums, who go about together looking for people who have nothing to do.
MANY a woman has divorced her husband for "desertion" who cheerfully helped pack his trunk and pay for his railway ticket when he left her.
A MAN'S conscience is made of India rubber—warranted to stretch as long as the fun lasts.
SOME men think that by putting on a silk hat and a white Ascot tie they are disguised as gentlemen.
THE average man is about as good a judge of women as a woman is of race horses; he picks the favorites by their shape and color.LOVE is like gambling; you want to be sure that you are a good loser before you go in for the game.A MAN'S idea of honor is so peculiar; he would die rather than steal a friend's money or cheat him at cards, but he will steal his wife or cheat him out of his daughter with perfect equanimity.WHEN you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.FLIRTATION is like a cocktail with no headache in it, champagne with no "next morning."
THE average man is about as good a judge of women as a woman is of race horses; he picks the favorites by their shape and color.LOVE is like gambling; you want to be sure that you are a good loser before you go in for the game.A MAN'S idea of honor is so peculiar; he would die rather than steal a friend's money or cheat him at cards, but he will steal his wife or cheat him out of his daughter with perfect equanimity.WHEN you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.FLIRTATION is like a cocktail with no headache in it, champagne with no "next morning."
THE average man is about as good a judge of women as a woman is of race horses; he picks the favorites by their shape and color.
LOVE is like gambling; you want to be sure that you are a good loser before you go in for the game.
A MAN'S idea of honor is so peculiar; he would die rather than steal a friend's money or cheat him at cards, but he will steal his wife or cheat him out of his daughter with perfect equanimity.
WHEN you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
FLIRTATION is like a cocktail with no headache in it, champagne with no "next morning."
ALL men are the same after ten years of matrimony; they all smell of cloves and tobacco, talk in monosyllables, and tell the same stories when they come home late.A RECKLESS lover and an automobile scorcher may run all the risks—but they have all the excitement.OF course, bigamy is very reprehensible; but the man who marries two women deserves a little credit for trying to make up to the sex for the selfishness of the old bachelor who won't marry even one.IN a domestic quarrel, it is not the one who can hold out, but the one who can hold in, who usually wins.THE boy who has been brought up to button his sister's frocks down the back cherishes no illusions about women.
ALL men are the same after ten years of matrimony; they all smell of cloves and tobacco, talk in monosyllables, and tell the same stories when they come home late.A RECKLESS lover and an automobile scorcher may run all the risks—but they have all the excitement.OF course, bigamy is very reprehensible; but the man who marries two women deserves a little credit for trying to make up to the sex for the selfishness of the old bachelor who won't marry even one.IN a domestic quarrel, it is not the one who can hold out, but the one who can hold in, who usually wins.THE boy who has been brought up to button his sister's frocks down the back cherishes no illusions about women.
ALL men are the same after ten years of matrimony; they all smell of cloves and tobacco, talk in monosyllables, and tell the same stories when they come home late.
A RECKLESS lover and an automobile scorcher may run all the risks—but they have all the excitement.
OF course, bigamy is very reprehensible; but the man who marries two women deserves a little credit for trying to make up to the sex for the selfishness of the old bachelor who won't marry even one.
IN a domestic quarrel, it is not the one who can hold out, but the one who can hold in, who usually wins.
THE boy who has been brought up to button his sister's frocks down the back cherishes no illusions about women.
A MAN is never content with a fortune of less than six figures; but a woman is satisfied with one figure—if it has the proper curves.IT'S a wise woman that knows how little she knows about her husband.ONE advantage of a bull-dog over a baby is that you are not haunted by the fear that he will grow up to be just like his father.THE way to a man's heart is a zig-zag road, leading through his stomach twice around his vanity, across his discretion and straight over his determination not to marry.FAILING to be "there" when a man wants her, is the greatest sin a woman can commit—except being there when doesn't want her.
A MAN is never content with a fortune of less than six figures; but a woman is satisfied with one figure—if it has the proper curves.IT'S a wise woman that knows how little she knows about her husband.ONE advantage of a bull-dog over a baby is that you are not haunted by the fear that he will grow up to be just like his father.THE way to a man's heart is a zig-zag road, leading through his stomach twice around his vanity, across his discretion and straight over his determination not to marry.FAILING to be "there" when a man wants her, is the greatest sin a woman can commit—except being there when doesn't want her.
A MAN is never content with a fortune of less than six figures; but a woman is satisfied with one figure—if it has the proper curves.
IT'S a wise woman that knows how little she knows about her husband.
ONE advantage of a bull-dog over a baby is that you are not haunted by the fear that he will grow up to be just like his father.
THE way to a man's heart is a zig-zag road, leading through his stomach twice around his vanity, across his discretion and straight over his determination not to marry.
FAILING to be "there" when a man wants her, is the greatest sin a woman can commit—except being there when doesn't want her.
THE best men always seem to get the worst wives and vice versa; that's Nature's little way of spreading the virtues and the vices around equally, like the jam and the butter on the bread.A MAN'S idea of being "master" in his own house is asserting his right to put his muddy feet on the best divan and his pipe ashes on the parlor mantelpiece.A WOMAN may scoff at her husband's religion, insult his friends, absorb his income and pry into his secrets, and still retain his love, if she regards his pipe and his razor as sacred.YOU can always find somebody to share your money and your pleasures with; but you've got to have somebody tied to you to share your sorrows and troubles with; that's the excuse for matrimony.
THE best men always seem to get the worst wives and vice versa; that's Nature's little way of spreading the virtues and the vices around equally, like the jam and the butter on the bread.A MAN'S idea of being "master" in his own house is asserting his right to put his muddy feet on the best divan and his pipe ashes on the parlor mantelpiece.A WOMAN may scoff at her husband's religion, insult his friends, absorb his income and pry into his secrets, and still retain his love, if she regards his pipe and his razor as sacred.YOU can always find somebody to share your money and your pleasures with; but you've got to have somebody tied to you to share your sorrows and troubles with; that's the excuse for matrimony.
THE best men always seem to get the worst wives and vice versa; that's Nature's little way of spreading the virtues and the vices around equally, like the jam and the butter on the bread.
A MAN'S idea of being "master" in his own house is asserting his right to put his muddy feet on the best divan and his pipe ashes on the parlor mantelpiece.
A WOMAN may scoff at her husband's religion, insult his friends, absorb his income and pry into his secrets, and still retain his love, if she regards his pipe and his razor as sacred.
YOU can always find somebody to share your money and your pleasures with; but you've got to have somebody tied to you to share your sorrows and troubles with; that's the excuse for matrimony.
A MARRIAGE of convenience is the safety-pin with which a woman fastens on her self-respect when the hooks of love are broken.THERE never was a man so small that he couldn't call his two-hundred pound wife "little one" with a perfectly serious face.GOD made the first man; but He must have seen His mistake, for the Scriptures say nothing of His having had anything to do with the rest of them.A MAN'S idea of a thrifty wife is one who can make lobster salad out of left-over veal and a new hat out of an old fruit basket.LOVE is the spur, matrimony the whip that drive a man to hard work and successful accomplishment.
A MARRIAGE of convenience is the safety-pin with which a woman fastens on her self-respect when the hooks of love are broken.THERE never was a man so small that he couldn't call his two-hundred pound wife "little one" with a perfectly serious face.GOD made the first man; but He must have seen His mistake, for the Scriptures say nothing of His having had anything to do with the rest of them.A MAN'S idea of a thrifty wife is one who can make lobster salad out of left-over veal and a new hat out of an old fruit basket.LOVE is the spur, matrimony the whip that drive a man to hard work and successful accomplishment.
A MARRIAGE of convenience is the safety-pin with which a woman fastens on her self-respect when the hooks of love are broken.
THERE never was a man so small that he couldn't call his two-hundred pound wife "little one" with a perfectly serious face.
GOD made the first man; but He must have seen His mistake, for the Scriptures say nothing of His having had anything to do with the rest of them.
A MAN'S idea of a thrifty wife is one who can make lobster salad out of left-over veal and a new hat out of an old fruit basket.
LOVE is the spur, matrimony the whip that drive a man to hard work and successful accomplishment.
THE longest way 'round the saloon and the stage door is the shortest way home for some men.THERE never was a man living who wouldn't marry Venus, and then expect her to stay home and do the cooking.ONCE a fool, twice married.WHEN a girl marries she usually has to choose whether she prefers to sit at the foot of a throne or to stand on a door-mat.OF course, you can't expect two people to keep step all their lives to the wedding march; but it's a pity the joy-bells get out of tune so soon.NINE tailors may make a man, but they can't make a gentleman.
THE longest way 'round the saloon and the stage door is the shortest way home for some men.THERE never was a man living who wouldn't marry Venus, and then expect her to stay home and do the cooking.ONCE a fool, twice married.WHEN a girl marries she usually has to choose whether she prefers to sit at the foot of a throne or to stand on a door-mat.OF course, you can't expect two people to keep step all their lives to the wedding march; but it's a pity the joy-bells get out of tune so soon.NINE tailors may make a man, but they can't make a gentleman.
THE longest way 'round the saloon and the stage door is the shortest way home for some men.
THERE never was a man living who wouldn't marry Venus, and then expect her to stay home and do the cooking.
ONCE a fool, twice married.
WHEN a girl marries she usually has to choose whether she prefers to sit at the foot of a throne or to stand on a door-mat.
OF course, you can't expect two people to keep step all their lives to the wedding march; but it's a pity the joy-bells get out of tune so soon.
NINE tailors may make a man, but they can't make a gentleman.
BEFORE marriage a man inquires, "What is that fascinating perfume?" afterward, "What is that sickening stuff?"IT isn't the troubles and sorrows they share, but the bridge parties and midnight suppers they don't share, which separate most married couples.THERE is no pity on earth so heartfelt as that with which the bachelor and the newly-married man regard one another.LOVE is a delirious spin in an automobile, marriage the accident of which you are always in danger.A WOMAN can get so used to that sort of thing that she would feel almost neglected if some day her husband should fail to offer up the usual morning and evening growl.
BEFORE marriage a man inquires, "What is that fascinating perfume?" afterward, "What is that sickening stuff?"IT isn't the troubles and sorrows they share, but the bridge parties and midnight suppers they don't share, which separate most married couples.THERE is no pity on earth so heartfelt as that with which the bachelor and the newly-married man regard one another.LOVE is a delirious spin in an automobile, marriage the accident of which you are always in danger.A WOMAN can get so used to that sort of thing that she would feel almost neglected if some day her husband should fail to offer up the usual morning and evening growl.
BEFORE marriage a man inquires, "What is that fascinating perfume?" afterward, "What is that sickening stuff?"
IT isn't the troubles and sorrows they share, but the bridge parties and midnight suppers they don't share, which separate most married couples.
THERE is no pity on earth so heartfelt as that with which the bachelor and the newly-married man regard one another.
LOVE is a delirious spin in an automobile, marriage the accident of which you are always in danger.
A WOMAN can get so used to that sort of thing that she would feel almost neglected if some day her husband should fail to offer up the usual morning and evening growl.
A WOMAN will go on a starvation diet and have herself skinned alive in order to retain her husband's admiration; but a man considers himself a martyr if he resists a boiled onion.THE sentiment a society woman wastes in baby-talk to her dog and the money a society man wastes on gasoline for his automobile would keep half a dozen babies in love and milk.A CYNIC can always find flaws in a woman and weeds in a rose garden.THE lower a man's forehead, the higher his collar.NO matter how much a man dislikes children before marriage, after marriage he always imagines that he is going to improve on the human race.
A WOMAN will go on a starvation diet and have herself skinned alive in order to retain her husband's admiration; but a man considers himself a martyr if he resists a boiled onion.THE sentiment a society woman wastes in baby-talk to her dog and the money a society man wastes on gasoline for his automobile would keep half a dozen babies in love and milk.A CYNIC can always find flaws in a woman and weeds in a rose garden.THE lower a man's forehead, the higher his collar.NO matter how much a man dislikes children before marriage, after marriage he always imagines that he is going to improve on the human race.
A WOMAN will go on a starvation diet and have herself skinned alive in order to retain her husband's admiration; but a man considers himself a martyr if he resists a boiled onion.
THE sentiment a society woman wastes in baby-talk to her dog and the money a society man wastes on gasoline for his automobile would keep half a dozen babies in love and milk.
A CYNIC can always find flaws in a woman and weeds in a rose garden.
THE lower a man's forehead, the higher his collar.
NO matter how much a man dislikes children before marriage, after marriage he always imagines that he is going to improve on the human race.
A GIRL'S idea of a proposal of marriage is so different from any she ever gets, that, even after she is married she often wonders how it happened.VENUS may have been the most popular lady of her time; but it takes a clever huntress, like Diana, to get any attention nowadays.NOTHING makes a woman feel so old as watching the bald spot daily increase on the top of her husband's head.LOVE is not really blind, it is only nearsighted; and marriage is the optician that furnishes it with a strong pair of lenses, warranted to dispel all illusions and make defects perfectly clear.WHOM the gods wish to destroy they first infatuate with a chorus girl.
A GIRL'S idea of a proposal of marriage is so different from any she ever gets, that, even after she is married she often wonders how it happened.VENUS may have been the most popular lady of her time; but it takes a clever huntress, like Diana, to get any attention nowadays.NOTHING makes a woman feel so old as watching the bald spot daily increase on the top of her husband's head.LOVE is not really blind, it is only nearsighted; and marriage is the optician that furnishes it with a strong pair of lenses, warranted to dispel all illusions and make defects perfectly clear.WHOM the gods wish to destroy they first infatuate with a chorus girl.
A GIRL'S idea of a proposal of marriage is so different from any she ever gets, that, even after she is married she often wonders how it happened.
VENUS may have been the most popular lady of her time; but it takes a clever huntress, like Diana, to get any attention nowadays.
NOTHING makes a woman feel so old as watching the bald spot daily increase on the top of her husband's head.
LOVE is not really blind, it is only nearsighted; and marriage is the optician that furnishes it with a strong pair of lenses, warranted to dispel all illusions and make defects perfectly clear.
WHOM the gods wish to destroy they first infatuate with a chorus girl.
A WISE jilt wears his scalp beneath his waistcoat, and a wise girl keeps her mittens carefully hidden; only a savage or a fool flaunts the trophies of the love-chase.COCK ROBIN isn't the only chap who ever promised to feed a girl on jelly-cake and wine when he knew perfectly well that the moment they were married she would have to go out and grub for worms.PATCHING up a shattered love-affair is as foolish as trying to mend cobwebs.MATRIMONY is a see-saw; and the secret of happiness lies in keeping yourself so carefully balanced that you neither fly into the air nor come down with a sickening thud.THE softer a man's head, the louder his socks.
A WISE jilt wears his scalp beneath his waistcoat, and a wise girl keeps her mittens carefully hidden; only a savage or a fool flaunts the trophies of the love-chase.COCK ROBIN isn't the only chap who ever promised to feed a girl on jelly-cake and wine when he knew perfectly well that the moment they were married she would have to go out and grub for worms.PATCHING up a shattered love-affair is as foolish as trying to mend cobwebs.MATRIMONY is a see-saw; and the secret of happiness lies in keeping yourself so carefully balanced that you neither fly into the air nor come down with a sickening thud.THE softer a man's head, the louder his socks.
A WISE jilt wears his scalp beneath his waistcoat, and a wise girl keeps her mittens carefully hidden; only a savage or a fool flaunts the trophies of the love-chase.
COCK ROBIN isn't the only chap who ever promised to feed a girl on jelly-cake and wine when he knew perfectly well that the moment they were married she would have to go out and grub for worms.
PATCHING up a shattered love-affair is as foolish as trying to mend cobwebs.
MATRIMONY is a see-saw; and the secret of happiness lies in keeping yourself so carefully balanced that you neither fly into the air nor come down with a sickening thud.
THE softer a man's head, the louder his socks.
FROM the latest divorce cases it appears that as soon as a married couple get rich enough to keep two automobiles they at once begin to travel separate roads.DON'T think your husband has ceased to love you merely because he has begun to lie to you; it's when he stops taking the trouble to whitewash himself that you have real grounds for that suspicion.MANY a woman thinks she has married a hero until she tries to get him to go out and reason with the janitor.A GOOD husband may be the "salt of the earth," but he often seems more like the pepper.THE trouble with the marriage tie is that it's so tight that most people get tangled up or frazzled out trying to loosen it.
FROM the latest divorce cases it appears that as soon as a married couple get rich enough to keep two automobiles they at once begin to travel separate roads.DON'T think your husband has ceased to love you merely because he has begun to lie to you; it's when he stops taking the trouble to whitewash himself that you have real grounds for that suspicion.MANY a woman thinks she has married a hero until she tries to get him to go out and reason with the janitor.A GOOD husband may be the "salt of the earth," but he often seems more like the pepper.THE trouble with the marriage tie is that it's so tight that most people get tangled up or frazzled out trying to loosen it.
FROM the latest divorce cases it appears that as soon as a married couple get rich enough to keep two automobiles they at once begin to travel separate roads.
DON'T think your husband has ceased to love you merely because he has begun to lie to you; it's when he stops taking the trouble to whitewash himself that you have real grounds for that suspicion.
MANY a woman thinks she has married a hero until she tries to get him to go out and reason with the janitor.
A GOOD husband may be the "salt of the earth," but he often seems more like the pepper.
THE trouble with the marriage tie is that it's so tight that most people get tangled up or frazzled out trying to loosen it.
WHEN a young man rails at marriage, listen for the wedding bells; a confirmed bachelor is too indifferent on the subject to be bitter about it.A MAN doesn't think he has had a good time unless he has a headache the next morning.THERE is no such thing as a confirmed bachelor in the countries where harems are fashionable.IT isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.WHAT a man considers his "personal distinction," and a girl refers to as his "charming personality," is often nothing more than a good tailor and a smart haberdasher.
WHEN a young man rails at marriage, listen for the wedding bells; a confirmed bachelor is too indifferent on the subject to be bitter about it.A MAN doesn't think he has had a good time unless he has a headache the next morning.THERE is no such thing as a confirmed bachelor in the countries where harems are fashionable.IT isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.WHAT a man considers his "personal distinction," and a girl refers to as his "charming personality," is often nothing more than a good tailor and a smart haberdasher.
WHEN a young man rails at marriage, listen for the wedding bells; a confirmed bachelor is too indifferent on the subject to be bitter about it.
A MAN doesn't think he has had a good time unless he has a headache the next morning.
THERE is no such thing as a confirmed bachelor in the countries where harems are fashionable.
IT isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.
WHAT a man considers his "personal distinction," and a girl refers to as his "charming personality," is often nothing more than a good tailor and a smart haberdasher.
BEING good is merely keeping up with the styles; what was immoral ten years ago is only fashionable now, and what is shocking now will be only fashionable ten years hence.WONDER how many wives have been awakened from love's young dream by a snore.IT'S the men who are least particular about their own morals who are the most particular about a woman's; if Satan should come up here seeking a wife, he would probably demand an angel with gilt wings instead of a nice congenial little devil.APPEALING to a man's sense of humor when he has just lathered his face for shaving, is about as effective as appealing to a cat's sense of honor when she sees a chance to steal the milk.
BEING good is merely keeping up with the styles; what was immoral ten years ago is only fashionable now, and what is shocking now will be only fashionable ten years hence.WONDER how many wives have been awakened from love's young dream by a snore.IT'S the men who are least particular about their own morals who are the most particular about a woman's; if Satan should come up here seeking a wife, he would probably demand an angel with gilt wings instead of a nice congenial little devil.APPEALING to a man's sense of humor when he has just lathered his face for shaving, is about as effective as appealing to a cat's sense of honor when she sees a chance to steal the milk.
BEING good is merely keeping up with the styles; what was immoral ten years ago is only fashionable now, and what is shocking now will be only fashionable ten years hence.
WONDER how many wives have been awakened from love's young dream by a snore.
IT'S the men who are least particular about their own morals who are the most particular about a woman's; if Satan should come up here seeking a wife, he would probably demand an angel with gilt wings instead of a nice congenial little devil.
APPEALING to a man's sense of humor when he has just lathered his face for shaving, is about as effective as appealing to a cat's sense of honor when she sees a chance to steal the milk.
A MAN loses his illusions first, his teeth second and his follies last.SOMEHOW, the wagon a woman hitches to a star always turns out a baby carriage.A GOOD lie in time saves nine poor ones next morning.WHEN a girl refuses a man his chagrin is always tempered by his astonishment that she could be so blind to her own good fortune.THE troublesome part of love and everything nice is that it always must end; but then that's thenicepart of matrimony and everything troublesome.THAT old saw about marrying a man to get rid of him isn't a joke. It's the best way.
A MAN loses his illusions first, his teeth second and his follies last.SOMEHOW, the wagon a woman hitches to a star always turns out a baby carriage.A GOOD lie in time saves nine poor ones next morning.WHEN a girl refuses a man his chagrin is always tempered by his astonishment that she could be so blind to her own good fortune.THE troublesome part of love and everything nice is that it always must end; but then that's thenicepart of matrimony and everything troublesome.THAT old saw about marrying a man to get rid of him isn't a joke. It's the best way.
A MAN loses his illusions first, his teeth second and his follies last.
SOMEHOW, the wagon a woman hitches to a star always turns out a baby carriage.
A GOOD lie in time saves nine poor ones next morning.
WHEN a girl refuses a man his chagrin is always tempered by his astonishment that she could be so blind to her own good fortune.
THE troublesome part of love and everything nice is that it always must end; but then that's thenicepart of matrimony and everything troublesome.
THAT old saw about marrying a man to get rid of him isn't a joke. It's the best way.
ABSENCE may make the heart grow fonder, but it is more likely to make the head grow steadier; there is nothing like total abstinence to cure you of "that dizzy feeling" that comes from either love or cocktails.BY THE awkwardness with which some men make love, you would fancy they had learned how in a correspondence school.AS lovers men are inclined to be general practitioners rather than specialists.IT MAY be possible to patch up a wornout love affair, but the darned places will always rub even if they don't show.IF a man would display the same patience in catering to a wife that he does in coloring an old meerschaum pipe matrimony would be as pleasant as a pipe dream.
ABSENCE may make the heart grow fonder, but it is more likely to make the head grow steadier; there is nothing like total abstinence to cure you of "that dizzy feeling" that comes from either love or cocktails.BY THE awkwardness with which some men make love, you would fancy they had learned how in a correspondence school.AS lovers men are inclined to be general practitioners rather than specialists.IT MAY be possible to patch up a wornout love affair, but the darned places will always rub even if they don't show.IF a man would display the same patience in catering to a wife that he does in coloring an old meerschaum pipe matrimony would be as pleasant as a pipe dream.
ABSENCE may make the heart grow fonder, but it is more likely to make the head grow steadier; there is nothing like total abstinence to cure you of "that dizzy feeling" that comes from either love or cocktails.
BY THE awkwardness with which some men make love, you would fancy they had learned how in a correspondence school.
AS lovers men are inclined to be general practitioners rather than specialists.
IT MAY be possible to patch up a wornout love affair, but the darned places will always rub even if they don't show.
IF a man would display the same patience in catering to a wife that he does in coloring an old meerschaum pipe matrimony would be as pleasant as a pipe dream.
THERE'S an old superstition that it's bad luck to be married in May; why not include the other eleven months?THE only contract a man considers so unimportant that he will sign it without first reading it over is the marriage contract.A WOMAN whose husband gives her cause for jealousy should not shed tears; she should shed the husband.A MAN is never really old until his rosy hopes have turned gray and he has begun to get wrinkles in his disposition.A GOOD woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.RICH men and their wives are soon parted; matrimony plus money has such a way of developing into alimony.
THERE'S an old superstition that it's bad luck to be married in May; why not include the other eleven months?THE only contract a man considers so unimportant that he will sign it without first reading it over is the marriage contract.A WOMAN whose husband gives her cause for jealousy should not shed tears; she should shed the husband.A MAN is never really old until his rosy hopes have turned gray and he has begun to get wrinkles in his disposition.A GOOD woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.RICH men and their wives are soon parted; matrimony plus money has such a way of developing into alimony.
THERE'S an old superstition that it's bad luck to be married in May; why not include the other eleven months?
THE only contract a man considers so unimportant that he will sign it without first reading it over is the marriage contract.
A WOMAN whose husband gives her cause for jealousy should not shed tears; she should shed the husband.
A MAN is never really old until his rosy hopes have turned gray and he has begun to get wrinkles in his disposition.
A GOOD woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.
RICH men and their wives are soon parted; matrimony plus money has such a way of developing into alimony.
ONE way to a man's heart is through your father's pocketbook.LOVE is the sparkle in the wine; matrimony, the headache that follows.BETTER be a young man's slave than an old man's nurse.THERE is something about one cocktail that makes a man want another the moment he has swallowed it; and there is something about one woman that makes a man want another the moment he has married her.A MAN plays his part in his first love affair as an actor plays his first star rôle with fire and enthusiasm, but without poise or method; later he becomes so technical that he can make his pretty speeches backward without a single thrill.
ONE way to a man's heart is through your father's pocketbook.LOVE is the sparkle in the wine; matrimony, the headache that follows.BETTER be a young man's slave than an old man's nurse.THERE is something about one cocktail that makes a man want another the moment he has swallowed it; and there is something about one woman that makes a man want another the moment he has married her.A MAN plays his part in his first love affair as an actor plays his first star rôle with fire and enthusiasm, but without poise or method; later he becomes so technical that he can make his pretty speeches backward without a single thrill.
ONE way to a man's heart is through your father's pocketbook.
LOVE is the sparkle in the wine; matrimony, the headache that follows.
BETTER be a young man's slave than an old man's nurse.
THERE is something about one cocktail that makes a man want another the moment he has swallowed it; and there is something about one woman that makes a man want another the moment he has married her.
A MAN plays his part in his first love affair as an actor plays his first star rôle with fire and enthusiasm, but without poise or method; later he becomes so technical that he can make his pretty speeches backward without a single thrill.
THE only common ground on which some married people ever meet is the burying ground.LOVE is like a good dinner; the only way to get any satisfaction out of it is to enjoy it while it lasts, have no regrets when it is over and pay the price with good grace.HUSBANDS and wives may meet in heaven—but some of them won't if they see each other first.THE hardest part about the "next morning" is not the headache; it's the effort to recall what particular story you told your wife the night before.POOR people don't have to economize on love, kisses nor enthusiasm; and with plenty of those one can cover all the bare spots on the walls of poverty.
THE only common ground on which some married people ever meet is the burying ground.LOVE is like a good dinner; the only way to get any satisfaction out of it is to enjoy it while it lasts, have no regrets when it is over and pay the price with good grace.HUSBANDS and wives may meet in heaven—but some of them won't if they see each other first.THE hardest part about the "next morning" is not the headache; it's the effort to recall what particular story you told your wife the night before.POOR people don't have to economize on love, kisses nor enthusiasm; and with plenty of those one can cover all the bare spots on the walls of poverty.
THE only common ground on which some married people ever meet is the burying ground.
LOVE is like a good dinner; the only way to get any satisfaction out of it is to enjoy it while it lasts, have no regrets when it is over and pay the price with good grace.
HUSBANDS and wives may meet in heaven—but some of them won't if they see each other first.
THE hardest part about the "next morning" is not the headache; it's the effort to recall what particular story you told your wife the night before.
POOR people don't have to economize on love, kisses nor enthusiasm; and with plenty of those one can cover all the bare spots on the walls of poverty.
FLATTER a husband a little and he will adore you; flatter him too much and he will soon begin to wonder why such a combination of Solomon and the Apollo Belvidere ever stooped to marry an insignificant little thing like you.IT'S the hours a woman spends making frocks that her husband never looks at, and the hours a man spends making jokes that his wife never laughs at, that make the matrimonial years drag so heavily.THE reason that a woman who takes the downward path has so much attention is that there are so many men going that way.A MAN makes a virtue of necessity when he prides himself on his devotion to a wife who is so fascinating that he can't help it.
FLATTER a husband a little and he will adore you; flatter him too much and he will soon begin to wonder why such a combination of Solomon and the Apollo Belvidere ever stooped to marry an insignificant little thing like you.IT'S the hours a woman spends making frocks that her husband never looks at, and the hours a man spends making jokes that his wife never laughs at, that make the matrimonial years drag so heavily.THE reason that a woman who takes the downward path has so much attention is that there are so many men going that way.A MAN makes a virtue of necessity when he prides himself on his devotion to a wife who is so fascinating that he can't help it.
FLATTER a husband a little and he will adore you; flatter him too much and he will soon begin to wonder why such a combination of Solomon and the Apollo Belvidere ever stooped to marry an insignificant little thing like you.
IT'S the hours a woman spends making frocks that her husband never looks at, and the hours a man spends making jokes that his wife never laughs at, that make the matrimonial years drag so heavily.
THE reason that a woman who takes the downward path has so much attention is that there are so many men going that way.
A MAN makes a virtue of necessity when he prides himself on his devotion to a wife who is so fascinating that he can't help it.
A MAN'S wife, like any other sort of stimulant, ceases to have that exhilarating effect after she has become a steady diet.NO MAN knows the shock that a woman receives when she finds that she has got to live up to a standard that is half angel and half cook.MEN declare they admire common sense in a woman; but a physical culturist with a perfect digestion and a thirty-inch waist hasn't a chance in the world against a foolish, unhealthy little thing in a French corset, a princess frock and open-work stockings.THE ultimate proof of a man's love is the self-restraint he shows when he allows a girl to run her fingers through his hair without putting up his hand to see if the part is still there.
A MAN'S wife, like any other sort of stimulant, ceases to have that exhilarating effect after she has become a steady diet.NO MAN knows the shock that a woman receives when she finds that she has got to live up to a standard that is half angel and half cook.MEN declare they admire common sense in a woman; but a physical culturist with a perfect digestion and a thirty-inch waist hasn't a chance in the world against a foolish, unhealthy little thing in a French corset, a princess frock and open-work stockings.THE ultimate proof of a man's love is the self-restraint he shows when he allows a girl to run her fingers through his hair without putting up his hand to see if the part is still there.
A MAN'S wife, like any other sort of stimulant, ceases to have that exhilarating effect after she has become a steady diet.
NO MAN knows the shock that a woman receives when she finds that she has got to live up to a standard that is half angel and half cook.
MEN declare they admire common sense in a woman; but a physical culturist with a perfect digestion and a thirty-inch waist hasn't a chance in the world against a foolish, unhealthy little thing in a French corset, a princess frock and open-work stockings.
THE ultimate proof of a man's love is the self-restraint he shows when he allows a girl to run her fingers through his hair without putting up his hand to see if the part is still there.
A LITTLE knowledge makes a man a fool—but it makes a woman suspicious.THE best way to cure a man's love is to return it with interest—and then watch him lose the interest.A MAN seldom escapes temptation because he is so careful not to let any interesting temptations escape him.SELF-SACRIFICE is the soul of love, and a real soul-mate is one who is willing to get up and take the milk off the dumb-waiter, wait until you have finished with the morning paper and give you the seat nearest the radiator.IT must be awful to live with a man after you have reformed him and he has become so superlatively good that you don't feel superior to him any more.
A LITTLE knowledge makes a man a fool—but it makes a woman suspicious.THE best way to cure a man's love is to return it with interest—and then watch him lose the interest.A MAN seldom escapes temptation because he is so careful not to let any interesting temptations escape him.SELF-SACRIFICE is the soul of love, and a real soul-mate is one who is willing to get up and take the milk off the dumb-waiter, wait until you have finished with the morning paper and give you the seat nearest the radiator.IT must be awful to live with a man after you have reformed him and he has become so superlatively good that you don't feel superior to him any more.
A LITTLE knowledge makes a man a fool—but it makes a woman suspicious.
THE best way to cure a man's love is to return it with interest—and then watch him lose the interest.
A MAN seldom escapes temptation because he is so careful not to let any interesting temptations escape him.
SELF-SACRIFICE is the soul of love, and a real soul-mate is one who is willing to get up and take the milk off the dumb-waiter, wait until you have finished with the morning paper and give you the seat nearest the radiator.
IT must be awful to live with a man after you have reformed him and he has become so superlatively good that you don't feel superior to him any more.
GOOD husbands are like tracts, comforting but uninteresting; the other kind are like dime novels, exciting, but apt to keep you in a constant fever of dread, anticipation and curiosity.IF a woman were like a serial novel and a man could read only one chapter at a time, honeymoons would last forever.A MAN doesn't demand common sense from a woman; he is satisfied with incense.WHEN a girl marries a man because he is the best she can do it is the irony of fate to have him blame her because they are ill-mated.DAKOTA is the State that cuts a woman's troubles in half—and kindly takes away the better half.
GOOD husbands are like tracts, comforting but uninteresting; the other kind are like dime novels, exciting, but apt to keep you in a constant fever of dread, anticipation and curiosity.IF a woman were like a serial novel and a man could read only one chapter at a time, honeymoons would last forever.A MAN doesn't demand common sense from a woman; he is satisfied with incense.WHEN a girl marries a man because he is the best she can do it is the irony of fate to have him blame her because they are ill-mated.DAKOTA is the State that cuts a woman's troubles in half—and kindly takes away the better half.
GOOD husbands are like tracts, comforting but uninteresting; the other kind are like dime novels, exciting, but apt to keep you in a constant fever of dread, anticipation and curiosity.
IF a woman were like a serial novel and a man could read only one chapter at a time, honeymoons would last forever.
A MAN doesn't demand common sense from a woman; he is satisfied with incense.
WHEN a girl marries a man because he is the best she can do it is the irony of fate to have him blame her because they are ill-mated.
DAKOTA is the State that cuts a woman's troubles in half—and kindly takes away the better half.
WONDERFUL how soon after marriage a man gets to look upon the morning and evening kiss as one of his daily chores.WHAT is the happiest state in life? Why, Dakota, of course.COLLEGE boys are addicted to cigarettes and flirtations, bachelors to cigars and sweethearts; it takes a married man to get real joy out of anything so economical as a pipe or a wife.MARRIAGE is the "commencement exercise" at which we take our diplomas in love; thereafter, like the college graduate, we begin to learn how little we know about it all.HALF the divorces are founded right on the wedding journey, just as half of indigestion is founded on too much sugar.
WONDERFUL how soon after marriage a man gets to look upon the morning and evening kiss as one of his daily chores.WHAT is the happiest state in life? Why, Dakota, of course.COLLEGE boys are addicted to cigarettes and flirtations, bachelors to cigars and sweethearts; it takes a married man to get real joy out of anything so economical as a pipe or a wife.MARRIAGE is the "commencement exercise" at which we take our diplomas in love; thereafter, like the college graduate, we begin to learn how little we know about it all.HALF the divorces are founded right on the wedding journey, just as half of indigestion is founded on too much sugar.
WONDERFUL how soon after marriage a man gets to look upon the morning and evening kiss as one of his daily chores.
WHAT is the happiest state in life? Why, Dakota, of course.
COLLEGE boys are addicted to cigarettes and flirtations, bachelors to cigars and sweethearts; it takes a married man to get real joy out of anything so economical as a pipe or a wife.
MARRIAGE is the "commencement exercise" at which we take our diplomas in love; thereafter, like the college graduate, we begin to learn how little we know about it all.
HALF the divorces are founded right on the wedding journey, just as half of indigestion is founded on too much sugar.
WHAT do they know—about one another that makes every man who kisses a girl warn her so darkly and impressively not to trust any of the others?POVERTY is only a relative affair, after all; it is X minus the things you want.HEAVEN must be something like an afternoon tea, as far as the dearth of men is concerned.FIGURES do lie; especially if they are the ones that express a woman's age—or the time a man gets home at night.A MAN'S favorite way of answering a woman's accusations is to tell her how pretty she looks when she gets excited.MATRIMONY is the price of love—divorce, the rebate.
WHAT do they know—about one another that makes every man who kisses a girl warn her so darkly and impressively not to trust any of the others?POVERTY is only a relative affair, after all; it is X minus the things you want.HEAVEN must be something like an afternoon tea, as far as the dearth of men is concerned.FIGURES do lie; especially if they are the ones that express a woman's age—or the time a man gets home at night.A MAN'S favorite way of answering a woman's accusations is to tell her how pretty she looks when she gets excited.MATRIMONY is the price of love—divorce, the rebate.
WHAT do they know—about one another that makes every man who kisses a girl warn her so darkly and impressively not to trust any of the others?
POVERTY is only a relative affair, after all; it is X minus the things you want.
HEAVEN must be something like an afternoon tea, as far as the dearth of men is concerned.
FIGURES do lie; especially if they are the ones that express a woman's age—or the time a man gets home at night.
A MAN'S favorite way of answering a woman's accusations is to tell her how pretty she looks when she gets excited.
MATRIMONY is the price of love—divorce, the rebate.
WHEN a millionaire's heart is touched it makes a hollow sound.THE woman who is wedded to an art and also to a man pays the full penalty for that kind of bigamy.IN the love game nobody knows exactly what he wants; but a wise man tries to get what he thinks he wants and a wise woman tries to think she wants what she gets.A MAN isn't as curious as a woman—because usually a woman tells him everything before he has a chance to become curious.THE only original thing about some men is original sin.HOLD on tight to your temper 'round the curves of matrimony.
WHEN a millionaire's heart is touched it makes a hollow sound.THE woman who is wedded to an art and also to a man pays the full penalty for that kind of bigamy.IN the love game nobody knows exactly what he wants; but a wise man tries to get what he thinks he wants and a wise woman tries to think she wants what she gets.A MAN isn't as curious as a woman—because usually a woman tells him everything before he has a chance to become curious.THE only original thing about some men is original sin.HOLD on tight to your temper 'round the curves of matrimony.
WHEN a millionaire's heart is touched it makes a hollow sound.
THE woman who is wedded to an art and also to a man pays the full penalty for that kind of bigamy.
IN the love game nobody knows exactly what he wants; but a wise man tries to get what he thinks he wants and a wise woman tries to think she wants what she gets.
A MAN isn't as curious as a woman—because usually a woman tells him everything before he has a chance to become curious.
THE only original thing about some men is original sin.
HOLD on tight to your temper 'round the curves of matrimony.
COLD water never cured a fever and a woman's indifference never put out the divine fire of a man's love.LOVE is a sort of club sandwich affair, composed of large slices of selfishness, seasoned with passion, spiced with jealousy and covered with thin layers of sentiment.A MAN may admire a superior woman, but when it comes to marrying he prefers a goose who will cackle at his jokes to an owl who is likely to hoot at them.A MAN always remembers a girl's first kiss the longest—because usually that's the only one he had any trouble in getting.TO keep a man's interest at high pressure deal yourself out to him in homœopathic doses; one only wants more of anything that one cannot get enough of.
COLD water never cured a fever and a woman's indifference never put out the divine fire of a man's love.LOVE is a sort of club sandwich affair, composed of large slices of selfishness, seasoned with passion, spiced with jealousy and covered with thin layers of sentiment.A MAN may admire a superior woman, but when it comes to marrying he prefers a goose who will cackle at his jokes to an owl who is likely to hoot at them.A MAN always remembers a girl's first kiss the longest—because usually that's the only one he had any trouble in getting.TO keep a man's interest at high pressure deal yourself out to him in homœopathic doses; one only wants more of anything that one cannot get enough of.
COLD water never cured a fever and a woman's indifference never put out the divine fire of a man's love.
LOVE is a sort of club sandwich affair, composed of large slices of selfishness, seasoned with passion, spiced with jealousy and covered with thin layers of sentiment.
A MAN may admire a superior woman, but when it comes to marrying he prefers a goose who will cackle at his jokes to an owl who is likely to hoot at them.
A MAN always remembers a girl's first kiss the longest—because usually that's the only one he had any trouble in getting.
TO keep a man's interest at high pressure deal yourself out to him in homœopathic doses; one only wants more of anything that one cannot get enough of.
THOSE who have tried matrimony, like those who have finished with the morning paper, always say, "There's nothing in it;" but somehow that never keeps the rest of us from wanting to see for ourselves.WONDER if it never occurs to the woman who marries a man to reform him that the sort of person who is headstrong enough to have made a "past" for himself isn't likely to sit quietly by and let somebody else carve out his future for him.IT is so much easier for some men to go to the devil for a woman than to go to work for her.ALAS that the fever of love should so often be followed by a chill!IN THE modern love affair woman proposes, God disposes and man—just dozes.
THOSE who have tried matrimony, like those who have finished with the morning paper, always say, "There's nothing in it;" but somehow that never keeps the rest of us from wanting to see for ourselves.WONDER if it never occurs to the woman who marries a man to reform him that the sort of person who is headstrong enough to have made a "past" for himself isn't likely to sit quietly by and let somebody else carve out his future for him.IT is so much easier for some men to go to the devil for a woman than to go to work for her.ALAS that the fever of love should so often be followed by a chill!IN THE modern love affair woman proposes, God disposes and man—just dozes.
THOSE who have tried matrimony, like those who have finished with the morning paper, always say, "There's nothing in it;" but somehow that never keeps the rest of us from wanting to see for ourselves.
WONDER if it never occurs to the woman who marries a man to reform him that the sort of person who is headstrong enough to have made a "past" for himself isn't likely to sit quietly by and let somebody else carve out his future for him.
IT is so much easier for some men to go to the devil for a woman than to go to work for her.
ALAS that the fever of love should so often be followed by a chill!
IN THE modern love affair woman proposes, God disposes and man—just dozes.
A MAN doesn't need to swear at a woman in order to express his opinion of her; he can shut the front door behind him in the morning so that it sounds just like a "damn!"BY a man's vows of devotion ye shall not know him; the lover who promises a girl a life of roses is usually the one who allows her to pick off all the thorns for herself.MAN is such a paradox that a woman is forced to make him believe that she doesn't take him seriously—or she won't get a chance to take him at all.A MAN cannot keep his grouch and his friends at the same time.THE woman who marries a dandy soon discovers that a thing of beauty is not necessarily a joy forever.
A MAN doesn't need to swear at a woman in order to express his opinion of her; he can shut the front door behind him in the morning so that it sounds just like a "damn!"BY a man's vows of devotion ye shall not know him; the lover who promises a girl a life of roses is usually the one who allows her to pick off all the thorns for herself.MAN is such a paradox that a woman is forced to make him believe that she doesn't take him seriously—or she won't get a chance to take him at all.A MAN cannot keep his grouch and his friends at the same time.THE woman who marries a dandy soon discovers that a thing of beauty is not necessarily a joy forever.
A MAN doesn't need to swear at a woman in order to express his opinion of her; he can shut the front door behind him in the morning so that it sounds just like a "damn!"
BY a man's vows of devotion ye shall not know him; the lover who promises a girl a life of roses is usually the one who allows her to pick off all the thorns for herself.
MAN is such a paradox that a woman is forced to make him believe that she doesn't take him seriously—or she won't get a chance to take him at all.
A MAN cannot keep his grouch and his friends at the same time.
THE woman who marries a dandy soon discovers that a thing of beauty is not necessarily a joy forever.
A MAN never selects a wife with any judgment or reason, because by the time he has reached the marrying fever all judgment and reason have fled.IT IS a wise fool who rushes in and a fool angel who fears to tread when it comes to love making; the woman who can't be coaxed can always be captured.IT MAY not be immoral for a girl to say "damn," but it affects a man just as it would to hear a dove or a canary bird shrieking like a parrot.A MAN in the act of putting his wife on the train for her summer vacation feels like the bad boy who has just heard the bell clang for recess; he doesn't know exactly what he is going to do, but he knows it will be something against the rules and hence very fascinating.
A MAN never selects a wife with any judgment or reason, because by the time he has reached the marrying fever all judgment and reason have fled.IT IS a wise fool who rushes in and a fool angel who fears to tread when it comes to love making; the woman who can't be coaxed can always be captured.IT MAY not be immoral for a girl to say "damn," but it affects a man just as it would to hear a dove or a canary bird shrieking like a parrot.A MAN in the act of putting his wife on the train for her summer vacation feels like the bad boy who has just heard the bell clang for recess; he doesn't know exactly what he is going to do, but he knows it will be something against the rules and hence very fascinating.
A MAN never selects a wife with any judgment or reason, because by the time he has reached the marrying fever all judgment and reason have fled.
IT IS a wise fool who rushes in and a fool angel who fears to tread when it comes to love making; the woman who can't be coaxed can always be captured.
IT MAY not be immoral for a girl to say "damn," but it affects a man just as it would to hear a dove or a canary bird shrieking like a parrot.
A MAN in the act of putting his wife on the train for her summer vacation feels like the bad boy who has just heard the bell clang for recess; he doesn't know exactly what he is going to do, but he knows it will be something against the rules and hence very fascinating.
IT'S awfully hard for a girl, with her mind all made up and her thoughts at the altar, to sit silently by and wait for the love idea to penetrate the thick layers of resistance that cover the masculine brain.AS long as Satan can make a woman believe that it is possible to reform a rake and make a roué over into a doting husband the ladies will keep his majesty's business running.IF anything could make a woman willing to exchange her curves for a little muscle it would be that maddening, "There, there, now!" attitude with which the average man greets her righteous wrath.MANY a man would be dumbfounded if he should discover that the ideal in his wife's heart didn't have a double chin, a bald spot and turned-in toes just like himself.
IT'S awfully hard for a girl, with her mind all made up and her thoughts at the altar, to sit silently by and wait for the love idea to penetrate the thick layers of resistance that cover the masculine brain.AS long as Satan can make a woman believe that it is possible to reform a rake and make a roué over into a doting husband the ladies will keep his majesty's business running.IF anything could make a woman willing to exchange her curves for a little muscle it would be that maddening, "There, there, now!" attitude with which the average man greets her righteous wrath.MANY a man would be dumbfounded if he should discover that the ideal in his wife's heart didn't have a double chin, a bald spot and turned-in toes just like himself.
IT'S awfully hard for a girl, with her mind all made up and her thoughts at the altar, to sit silently by and wait for the love idea to penetrate the thick layers of resistance that cover the masculine brain.
AS long as Satan can make a woman believe that it is possible to reform a rake and make a roué over into a doting husband the ladies will keep his majesty's business running.
IF anything could make a woman willing to exchange her curves for a little muscle it would be that maddening, "There, there, now!" attitude with which the average man greets her righteous wrath.
MANY a man would be dumbfounded if he should discover that the ideal in his wife's heart didn't have a double chin, a bald spot and turned-in toes just like himself.
THE music of the spheres isn't loud enough to drown the din of some matrimonial squabbles.A KNOWLEDGE of all the ologies and isms isn't worth half as much to a girl in the game of life as a knowledge of how to use her eyes and how to keep her pompadour in curl.WHEN a man discovers that a woman knows more than he does it strikes him dumb—but not with admiration.HEART-TO-HEART talks between platonic friends are as apt to lead to lip-to-lip silences that Plato never dreamed of.MAN may be the noblest work of God—in the abstract; but in a bathing suit—well, it takes blind love to make a girl think he looks like that.
THE music of the spheres isn't loud enough to drown the din of some matrimonial squabbles.A KNOWLEDGE of all the ologies and isms isn't worth half as much to a girl in the game of life as a knowledge of how to use her eyes and how to keep her pompadour in curl.WHEN a man discovers that a woman knows more than he does it strikes him dumb—but not with admiration.HEART-TO-HEART talks between platonic friends are as apt to lead to lip-to-lip silences that Plato never dreamed of.MAN may be the noblest work of God—in the abstract; but in a bathing suit—well, it takes blind love to make a girl think he looks like that.
THE music of the spheres isn't loud enough to drown the din of some matrimonial squabbles.
A KNOWLEDGE of all the ologies and isms isn't worth half as much to a girl in the game of life as a knowledge of how to use her eyes and how to keep her pompadour in curl.
WHEN a man discovers that a woman knows more than he does it strikes him dumb—but not with admiration.
HEART-TO-HEART talks between platonic friends are as apt to lead to lip-to-lip silences that Plato never dreamed of.
MAN may be the noblest work of God—in the abstract; but in a bathing suit—well, it takes blind love to make a girl think he looks like that.
A MAN'S surprise at the calmness with which his wife receives the announcement that he has failed in business is only equaled by his astonishment at her hysteria when a dress comes home that doesn't fit.A GIRL always keeps a tender spot in her heart for the man she has once loved; but to a man nothing is so cold as cooled affection.YOU would fancy a girl were a species of ostrich from the amount of flattery a man feeds her before marriage and the two-edged cynicisms he expects her to swallow afterward.THE average woman goes from the altar into total eclipse from which she never emerges until she becomes a widow—since husbands never look at their wives and other men don't dare.
A MAN'S surprise at the calmness with which his wife receives the announcement that he has failed in business is only equaled by his astonishment at her hysteria when a dress comes home that doesn't fit.A GIRL always keeps a tender spot in her heart for the man she has once loved; but to a man nothing is so cold as cooled affection.YOU would fancy a girl were a species of ostrich from the amount of flattery a man feeds her before marriage and the two-edged cynicisms he expects her to swallow afterward.THE average woman goes from the altar into total eclipse from which she never emerges until she becomes a widow—since husbands never look at their wives and other men don't dare.
A MAN'S surprise at the calmness with which his wife receives the announcement that he has failed in business is only equaled by his astonishment at her hysteria when a dress comes home that doesn't fit.
A GIRL always keeps a tender spot in her heart for the man she has once loved; but to a man nothing is so cold as cooled affection.
YOU would fancy a girl were a species of ostrich from the amount of flattery a man feeds her before marriage and the two-edged cynicisms he expects her to swallow afterward.
THE average woman goes from the altar into total eclipse from which she never emerges until she becomes a widow—since husbands never look at their wives and other men don't dare.
THE man who is most in love is most apt to get over it, just as the man who drinks most champagne has the worst headache next morning.ALL this talk about trial marriages seems so superfluous—considering that marriage has always been a trial.A MAN'S sense of honor is so peculiar that it gets out of working condition the minute he comes near a pretty woman.MAN—as far as his opinions and emotions go—is the noblest work of woman.A KISS and its thrills are soon parted—after the honeymoon.EVERY woman is born an actress; and actresses are twice as attractive to men as other women because they are twice women.
THE man who is most in love is most apt to get over it, just as the man who drinks most champagne has the worst headache next morning.ALL this talk about trial marriages seems so superfluous—considering that marriage has always been a trial.A MAN'S sense of honor is so peculiar that it gets out of working condition the minute he comes near a pretty woman.MAN—as far as his opinions and emotions go—is the noblest work of woman.A KISS and its thrills are soon parted—after the honeymoon.EVERY woman is born an actress; and actresses are twice as attractive to men as other women because they are twice women.
THE man who is most in love is most apt to get over it, just as the man who drinks most champagne has the worst headache next morning.
ALL this talk about trial marriages seems so superfluous—considering that marriage has always been a trial.
A MAN'S sense of honor is so peculiar that it gets out of working condition the minute he comes near a pretty woman.
MAN—as far as his opinions and emotions go—is the noblest work of woman.
A KISS and its thrills are soon parted—after the honeymoon.
EVERY woman is born an actress; and actresses are twice as attractive to men as other women because they are twice women.
A DARK brown "past" is sometimes a good insurance against a black future; the man who has "seen life" is not quite so likely to be looking for it.HAPPINESS in marriage doesn't depend half so much on whether or not a man keeps the Ten Commandments and goes to church as on whether or not he keeps a pretty stenographer and comes home to dinner.WHEN a man declares that he knows his own mind, his wife may sometimes wonder why he seems so proud of the acquaintance.MARRYING a widower is like inheriting an heirloom; marrying a grass widower is like getting second-hand goods that somebody else has been anxious to get rid of.
A DARK brown "past" is sometimes a good insurance against a black future; the man who has "seen life" is not quite so likely to be looking for it.HAPPINESS in marriage doesn't depend half so much on whether or not a man keeps the Ten Commandments and goes to church as on whether or not he keeps a pretty stenographer and comes home to dinner.WHEN a man declares that he knows his own mind, his wife may sometimes wonder why he seems so proud of the acquaintance.MARRYING a widower is like inheriting an heirloom; marrying a grass widower is like getting second-hand goods that somebody else has been anxious to get rid of.
A DARK brown "past" is sometimes a good insurance against a black future; the man who has "seen life" is not quite so likely to be looking for it.
HAPPINESS in marriage doesn't depend half so much on whether or not a man keeps the Ten Commandments and goes to church as on whether or not he keeps a pretty stenographer and comes home to dinner.
WHEN a man declares that he knows his own mind, his wife may sometimes wonder why he seems so proud of the acquaintance.
MARRYING a widower is like inheriting an heirloom; marrying a grass widower is like getting second-hand goods that somebody else has been anxious to get rid of.
MATRIMONY is a life job with long hours, small pay, hard work, no holidays and no chance to "give notice" if you get tired of it.AFTER all, a wife has her uses—even if its only as a protection against other ladies' breach of promise suits.A PRETTY wife in a soiled kimono affects a man like a pâté de fois gras served on an old tin plate; it takes away his appetite—for love.IT always surprises a woman when the son who has been tied to her apron strings suddenly gets tangled up in some chorus girl's shoe strings.A MAN'S idea of a perfectly loyal, devoted woman is one who will deceive another man for his sake.
MATRIMONY is a life job with long hours, small pay, hard work, no holidays and no chance to "give notice" if you get tired of it.AFTER all, a wife has her uses—even if its only as a protection against other ladies' breach of promise suits.A PRETTY wife in a soiled kimono affects a man like a pâté de fois gras served on an old tin plate; it takes away his appetite—for love.IT always surprises a woman when the son who has been tied to her apron strings suddenly gets tangled up in some chorus girl's shoe strings.A MAN'S idea of a perfectly loyal, devoted woman is one who will deceive another man for his sake.
MATRIMONY is a life job with long hours, small pay, hard work, no holidays and no chance to "give notice" if you get tired of it.
AFTER all, a wife has her uses—even if its only as a protection against other ladies' breach of promise suits.
A PRETTY wife in a soiled kimono affects a man like a pâté de fois gras served on an old tin plate; it takes away his appetite—for love.
IT always surprises a woman when the son who has been tied to her apron strings suddenly gets tangled up in some chorus girl's shoe strings.
A MAN'S idea of a perfectly loyal, devoted woman is one who will deceive another man for his sake.
A GIRL'S idea of business is a place where she can meet some man who will take her out of it.IN THE "relation of the sexes" a man is so likely to regard his wife as the "poor relation."NO MAN refuses to give a good wife all the credit she deserves; but some of them are rather shy about giving her cash to the same amount.A WOMAN on her summer vacation soon discovers that a husband is not "a man of letters," but a man of off-hand notes and telegrams.A LOVER looks at women through rose-colored spectacles, an old bachelor through blue glasses, and a married man—through a microscope.
A GIRL'S idea of business is a place where she can meet some man who will take her out of it.IN THE "relation of the sexes" a man is so likely to regard his wife as the "poor relation."NO MAN refuses to give a good wife all the credit she deserves; but some of them are rather shy about giving her cash to the same amount.A WOMAN on her summer vacation soon discovers that a husband is not "a man of letters," but a man of off-hand notes and telegrams.A LOVER looks at women through rose-colored spectacles, an old bachelor through blue glasses, and a married man—through a microscope.
A GIRL'S idea of business is a place where she can meet some man who will take her out of it.
IN THE "relation of the sexes" a man is so likely to regard his wife as the "poor relation."
NO MAN refuses to give a good wife all the credit she deserves; but some of them are rather shy about giving her cash to the same amount.
A WOMAN on her summer vacation soon discovers that a husband is not "a man of letters," but a man of off-hand notes and telegrams.
A LOVER looks at women through rose-colored spectacles, an old bachelor through blue glasses, and a married man—through a microscope.
A MAN always feels deeply injured when his wife refuses to believe the story that he has worked at all the way up in the cab to make sound interesting and perfectly plausible.IT inspires a man with real awe and admiration, after he has spent all day Sunday and broken half the family tools fussing over a fractious lock, to see his wife come along and pick it with one hand and a hairpin.WHENEVER a man makes up his mind to give up anything, from a woman to a vice, it suddenly becomes so attractive to him that he begins to take a new and violent interest in it.THE hard part of separating from a husband or wife for summer vacation is trying to look sorry about it when you say good-by at the station.
A MAN always feels deeply injured when his wife refuses to believe the story that he has worked at all the way up in the cab to make sound interesting and perfectly plausible.IT inspires a man with real awe and admiration, after he has spent all day Sunday and broken half the family tools fussing over a fractious lock, to see his wife come along and pick it with one hand and a hairpin.WHENEVER a man makes up his mind to give up anything, from a woman to a vice, it suddenly becomes so attractive to him that he begins to take a new and violent interest in it.THE hard part of separating from a husband or wife for summer vacation is trying to look sorry about it when you say good-by at the station.
A MAN always feels deeply injured when his wife refuses to believe the story that he has worked at all the way up in the cab to make sound interesting and perfectly plausible.
IT inspires a man with real awe and admiration, after he has spent all day Sunday and broken half the family tools fussing over a fractious lock, to see his wife come along and pick it with one hand and a hairpin.
WHENEVER a man makes up his mind to give up anything, from a woman to a vice, it suddenly becomes so attractive to him that he begins to take a new and violent interest in it.
THE hard part of separating from a husband or wife for summer vacation is trying to look sorry about it when you say good-by at the station.
TRAIN up a son in the way he should go—and then watch him go some other woman's way.MAKING hay while the sun shines is very tame sport beside making love while the moon shines.THE dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.IT IS a mistake to propose to a girl with whom you have been mooning all morning on the beach until you discover whether that pang you feel is really heart hunger or only the other kind of hunger; the two have such similar effects.YOU can lead a husband to the restaurant, but you can't make him order champagne—unless it's another woman's husband.
TRAIN up a son in the way he should go—and then watch him go some other woman's way.MAKING hay while the sun shines is very tame sport beside making love while the moon shines.THE dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.IT IS a mistake to propose to a girl with whom you have been mooning all morning on the beach until you discover whether that pang you feel is really heart hunger or only the other kind of hunger; the two have such similar effects.YOU can lead a husband to the restaurant, but you can't make him order champagne—unless it's another woman's husband.
TRAIN up a son in the way he should go—and then watch him go some other woman's way.
MAKING hay while the sun shines is very tame sport beside making love while the moon shines.
THE dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.
IT IS a mistake to propose to a girl with whom you have been mooning all morning on the beach until you discover whether that pang you feel is really heart hunger or only the other kind of hunger; the two have such similar effects.
YOU can lead a husband to the restaurant, but you can't make him order champagne—unless it's another woman's husband.
LOVE seldom follows marriage, unless marriage follows love.WHEN a man says that "circumstances" have forced him to break his engagement with you, it is pretty safe to conclude that "Circumstances" wears smarter frocks or has a more fascinating way of doing her hair.SOME bright day women will learn that it is as impossible to revive a man's interest in a girl whom he has ceased to love as to make him want stale champagne with all the fizz gone out of it.ALL the great tragedies are written about the woman who isn't married to some man, but ought to be; when as a matter of fact the most tragic figure on earth is the woman who is married to him and oughtn't to be.
LOVE seldom follows marriage, unless marriage follows love.WHEN a man says that "circumstances" have forced him to break his engagement with you, it is pretty safe to conclude that "Circumstances" wears smarter frocks or has a more fascinating way of doing her hair.SOME bright day women will learn that it is as impossible to revive a man's interest in a girl whom he has ceased to love as to make him want stale champagne with all the fizz gone out of it.ALL the great tragedies are written about the woman who isn't married to some man, but ought to be; when as a matter of fact the most tragic figure on earth is the woman who is married to him and oughtn't to be.
LOVE seldom follows marriage, unless marriage follows love.
WHEN a man says that "circumstances" have forced him to break his engagement with you, it is pretty safe to conclude that "Circumstances" wears smarter frocks or has a more fascinating way of doing her hair.
SOME bright day women will learn that it is as impossible to revive a man's interest in a girl whom he has ceased to love as to make him want stale champagne with all the fizz gone out of it.
ALL the great tragedies are written about the woman who isn't married to some man, but ought to be; when as a matter of fact the most tragic figure on earth is the woman who is married to him and oughtn't to be.
THERE are two kinds of masculine hearts; the kind like a peach, soft and impressionable on the outside, but stony at the core; and the kind like a nut, seemingly impenetrable, but sweet and satisfying once you get through the shell.A MAN doesn't object to a girl who smokes cigarettes, wears three-ply collars and calls him "old chap" because he considers her immoral, but because he considers her just a bad imitation of himself.A WOMAN can do nothing wrong, as long as a man is in love with her, and nothing right after he ceases to be.THE only way to be happy with a man is to have such blind faith that you can believe him when he vows he never kissed another woman, even though the scent of the last girl's sachet still clings to his coat lapel.
THERE are two kinds of masculine hearts; the kind like a peach, soft and impressionable on the outside, but stony at the core; and the kind like a nut, seemingly impenetrable, but sweet and satisfying once you get through the shell.A MAN doesn't object to a girl who smokes cigarettes, wears three-ply collars and calls him "old chap" because he considers her immoral, but because he considers her just a bad imitation of himself.A WOMAN can do nothing wrong, as long as a man is in love with her, and nothing right after he ceases to be.THE only way to be happy with a man is to have such blind faith that you can believe him when he vows he never kissed another woman, even though the scent of the last girl's sachet still clings to his coat lapel.
THERE are two kinds of masculine hearts; the kind like a peach, soft and impressionable on the outside, but stony at the core; and the kind like a nut, seemingly impenetrable, but sweet and satisfying once you get through the shell.
A MAN doesn't object to a girl who smokes cigarettes, wears three-ply collars and calls him "old chap" because he considers her immoral, but because he considers her just a bad imitation of himself.
A WOMAN can do nothing wrong, as long as a man is in love with her, and nothing right after he ceases to be.
THE only way to be happy with a man is to have such blind faith that you can believe him when he vows he never kissed another woman, even though the scent of the last girl's sachet still clings to his coat lapel.