FOOTNOTES:

Gammer.Chil shew you his face, ich warrant the; lo now where he is!Bayly.Come on, fellow, it is tolde me thou art a shrew, iwysse:85Thy neighbours hens thou takest, and playes the two legged foxe;Their chickens and their capons to, and now and then their cocks.Hodge.Ich defy them al that dare it say, cham as true as the best!Bayly.Wart not thou take within this houre in Dame Chats hens nest?Hodge.Take there? no, master; chold not dot for a house ful of gold!90Chat.Thou or the devil in thy cote—sweare this I dare be bold.D. Rat.Sweare me no swearing, quean, the devill he geve the sorow!Al is not worth a gnat thou canst sweare till to morow:EWhere is the harme he hath? shew it, by Gods bread!Ye beat him with a witnes, but the stripes light on my head!95Hodge.Bet me? Gogs blessed body, chold first, ich trow, have burst the!Ich thinke and chad my hands loose, callet, chould have crust the!Chat.Thou shitten knave, I trow thou knowest the ful weight of my fist;I am fowly deceved onles thy head and my doore bar kyste.Hodge.Hold thy chat, whore, thou criest so loude, can no man els be hard.100Chat.Well, knave, and I had the alone, I wold surely rap thy costard!Bayly.Sir, answer me to this: is thy head whole or broken?Hodge.[740]Yea, Master Bayly, blest be every good token,Is my head whole! Ich warrant you, tis neither scurvy nor scald!What, you foule beast, does think tis either pild or bald?105Nay, ich thanke God, chil not for al that thou maist spendThat chad one scab on my narse as brode as thy fingers end.Bayly.Come nearer heare!Hodge.Yes, that I dare.Bayly.By our Lady, here is no harme,Hodges head is whole ynough, for al Dame Chats charme.Chat.By Gogs blest, hou ever the thing he clockes or smolders,[741]110I know the blowes he bare away, either with head or shoulders.Camest thou not, knave, within this houre, creping into my pens,And there was caught within my hous groping among my hens?Hodge.A plage both on the hens & the! A carte, whore, a carte!Chould I were hanged as hie as a tree and chware as false as thou art!115Geve my gammer again her washical[742]thou stole away in thy lap!Gammer.Yea Maister Baily, there is a thing you know not on, mayhap;This drab she kepes away my good, the devil he might her snare!Ich pray you that ich might have a right action on her [fare].Chat.Have I thy good, old filth, or any such old sowes?120I am as true, I wold thou knew, as skin betwene thy browes!Gammer.Many a truer hath ben hanged, though you escape the daunger!Chat.Thou shalt answer, by Gods pity, for this thy foule slaunder!Bayly.Why, what can ye charge hir withal? To say so ye do not well.Gammer.Mary, a vengeance to hir hart! the whore hase stoln my neele!125Chat.Thy nedle, old witch? how so? it were almes thy scul to knock!So didst thou say the other day that I had stolne thy cock,And rosted him to my breakfast, which shal not be forgotten;The devil pul out thy lying tong and teeth that be so rotten!Gammer.Geve me my neele! As for my cock, chould be very loth130That chuld here tel he shuld hang on thy false faith and troth.Bayly.Your talke is such, I can scarce learne who shuld be most in fault.Gammer.Yet shall be find no other wight, save she, by bred and salt!Bayly.Kepe ye content a while, se that your tonges ye holde.Me thinkes you shuld remembre this is no place to scolde.135How knowest thou, Gammer Gurton, Dame Chat thy nedle had?Gammer.To name you, sir, the party, chould not be very glad.Bayly.Yea, but we must nedes heare it, and therfore say it boldly.Gammer.Such one as told the tale full soberly and coldly,Even he that loked on—wil sweare on a booke—140What time this drunken gossip my faire long neele up tooke,Diccon, master, the Bedlam, cham very sure ye know him.Bayly.A false knave, by Gods pitie! ye were but a foole to trow him.I durst aventure wel the price of my best cap,That when the end is knowen, all will turne to a jape.145Tolde he not you that besides she stole your cocke that tyde?Gammer.No, master, no indede; for then he shuld have lyed.My cocke is, I thanke Christ, safe and wel a fine.Chat.Yea, but that ragged colt, that whore, that Tyb of thine,Said plainly thy cocke was stolne, and in my house was eaten.150That lying cut[743]is lost that she is not swinged and beaten,And yet for al my good name, it were a small amendes!I picke not this geare, hearst thou, out of my fingers endes;But he that hard it told me, who thou of late didst name,Diccon, whom al men knowes, it was the very same.155Bayly.This is the case: you lost your nedle about the dores,And she answeres againe, she hase no cocke of yours;Thus in you[r] talke and action, from that you do intend,She is whole five mile wide, from that she doth defend.Will you say she hath your cocke?Gammer.No, mary,[744]sir, that chil not,160Bayly.Will you confesse hir neele?Chat.Will I? No sir, will I not.Bayly.Then there lieth all the matter,Gammer.Soft, master, by the way!Ye know she could do litle, and she cold not say nay.Bayly.Yea, but he that made one lie about your cock stealing,Wil not sticke to make another, what time lies be in dealing.165I wene the ende wil prove this brawle did first ariseEiiUpon no other ground but only Diccons lyes.Chat.Though some be lyes, as you belike have espyed them,Yet other some be true, by proof I have wel tryed them.Bayly.What other thing beside this, Dame Chat?Chat.Mary syr, even this.170The tale I tolde before, the selfe same tale it was his;He gave me, like a frende, warning against my losse,Els had my hens be stolne eche one, by Gods crosse!He tolde me Hodge wold come, and in he came indeede,But as the matter chaunsed, with greater hast than speede.175This truth was said, and true was found, as truly I report.Bayly.If Doctor Rat be not deceived, it was of another sort.D. Rat.By Gods mother, thou and he be a cople of suttle foxes!Betweene you and Hodge, I beare away the boxes.Did not Diccon apoynt the place, wher thou shuldst stand to mete him?180Chat.Yes, by the masse, and if he came, bad me not sticke to speet[745]hym.D. Rat.Gods sacrament! the villain knave hath drest us round about!He is the cause of all this brawle, that dyrty shitten loute!When Gammer Gurton here complained, and made a ruful mone,I heard him sweare that you had gotten hir nedle that was gone;185And this to try, he furder said, he was ful loth; how be itHe was content with small adoe to bring me where to see it.And where ye sat, he said ful certain, if I wold folow his read,Into your house a privy way he wold me guide and leade,And where ye had it in your hands, sewing about a clowte,190And set me in the backe hole, therby to finde you out:And whiles I sought a quietnes, creping upon my knees,I found the weight of your dore bar for my reward and fees.Such is the lucke that some men gets, while they begin to melIn setting at one such as were out, minding to make al wel.195Hodge.Was not wel blest, Gammer, to scape that stoure?[746]And chad ben there,Then chad been drest,[747]be like, as ill, by the masse, as Gaffar Vicar.Bayly.Mary, sir, here is a sport alone; I loked for such an end.If Diccon had not playd the knave, this had ben sone amend.My gammer here he made a foole, and drest hir as she was;200And Goodwife Chat he set to scole, till both partes cried alas;And D[octor] Rat was not behind, whiles Chat his crown did pare.I wold the knave had ben starke blind, if Hodg had not his share.Hodge.Cham meetly wel sped alredy amongs, cham drest lik a coult!And chad not had the better wit, chad bene made a doult.205Bayly.Sir knave, make hast Diccon were here, fetch him, where ever he bee!Chat.Fie on the villaine, fie, fie! that makes us thus agree!Gammer.Fie on him, knave, with al my hart! now fie! and fie againe!D. Rat.Now "fie on him!" may I best say, whom he hath almost slaine.Bayly.Lo where he commeth at hand, belike he was not fare!210Diccon, heare be two or three thy company can not spare.Diccon.God blesse you, and you may be blest, so many al at once.Chat.Come knave, it were a good deed to geld the, by Cockes bones!Seest not thy handiwarke? Sir Rat, can ye forbeare him?Diccon.A vengeance on those hands lite, for my hands cam not nere hym.215The horsen priest hath lift the pot in some of these alewyves chayresThat his head wolde not serve him, belyke, to come downe the stayres.Bayly.Nay, soft! thou maist not play the knave, and have this language to!If thou thy tong bridle a while, the better maist thou do.Confesse the truth, as I shall aske, and cease a while to fable;220And for thy fault I promise the thy handling shalbe reasonable.Hast thou not made a lie or two, to set these two by the eares?Diccon.What if I have? five hundred such have I seene within these seven yeares:I am sory for nothing else but that I see not the sportWhich was betwene them when they met, as they them selves report.225Bayly.The greatest thing—Master Rat, ye se how he is drest!Diccon.What devil nede he be groping so depe, in Goodwife Chats hens nest?Bayly.Yea, but it was thy drift to bring him into the briars.Diccon.Gods bread! hath not such an old foole wit to save his eares?He showeth himselfe herein, ye see, so very a coxe,230The cat was not so madly alured by the foxeTo run into the snares was set for him, doubtlesse;For he leapt in for myce, and this Sir John for madnes.D. Rat.Well, and ye shift no better, ye losel, lyther, and lasye,I will go neare for this to make ye leape at a dasye.[748]235In the kings name, Master Bayly, I charge you set him fast.Diccon.What, faste at cardes, or fast on slepe? it is the thing I did last.D. Rat.Nay, fast in fetters, false varlet, according to thy deedes.Bayly.Master Doctor, ther is no remedy, I must intreat you needesSome other kinde of punishment.EiiiD. Rat.Nay by all halowes240His punishment if I may judg, shal be naught els but the gallous.Bayly.That ware to sore, a spiritual man to be so extreame!D. Rat.Is he worthy any better, sir? how do ye judge and deame?Bayly.I graunt him wort[h]ie punishment, but in no wise so great.Gammer.It is a shame, ich tel you plaine, for such false knaves intreat!245He has almost undone us al—that is as true as steele,—And yet for al this great ado cham never the nere my neele!Bayly.Canst thou not say any thing to that, Diccon, with least or most?Diccon.Yea, mary, sir, this much I can say wel, the nedle is lost.Bayly.Nay, canst not thou tel which way that nedle may be found?250Diccon.No, by my fay, sir, though I might have an hundred pound.Hodge.Thou lier, lickdish, didst not say the neele wold be gitten?Diccon.No, Hodge, by the same token, you were[749]that time beshittenFor feare of Hobgobling—you wot wel what I meane;As long as it is sence, I feare me yet ye be scarce cleane.255Bayly.Wel, Master Rat, you must both learne and teach us to forgeve.Since Diccon hath confession made, and is so cleane shreve,If ye to me conscent, to amend this heavie chaunce,I wil injoyne him here some open kind of penaunce,Of this condition (where ye know my fee is twenty pence):260For the bloodshed, I am agreed with you here to dispence;Ye shal go quite, so that ye graunt the matter now to runTo end with mirth emong us al, even as it was begun.Chat.Say yea, Master Vicar, and he shall sure confes to be your detter,And al we that be heare present, wil love you much the better.265D. Rat.My part is the worst; but since you al here on agree,Go even to, Master Bayly! let it be so for mee!Bayly.How saiest thou, Diccon? art content this shal on me depend?Diccon.Go to, M[ast] Bayly, say on your mind, I know ye are my frend.Bayly.Then marke ye wel: To recompence this thy former action,—270Because thou hast offended al, to make them satisfaction,—Before their faces here kneele downe, and, as I shal the teach,—For thou shalt take an[750]othe of Hodges leather breache:First, for Master Doctor, upon paine of his cursse,Where he wil pay for al, thou never draw thy purse;275And when ye meete at one pot he shall have the first pull,And thou shalt never offer him the cup but it be full.To Goodwife that thou shalt be sworne, even on the same wyse,If she refuse thy money once, never to offer it twise.Thou shalt be bound by the same, here as thou dost take it,280When thou maist drinke of free cost, thou never forsake it.For Gammer Gurton's sake, againe sworne shalt thou bee,To helpe hir to hir nedle againe if it do lie in thee;And likewise be bound, by the vertue of that,To be of good abering to Gib her great cat.285Last of al, for Hodge the othe to scanne,Thou shalt never take him for fine gentleman.Hodge.Come, on, fellow Diccon, chal be even with thee now!Bayly.Thou wilt not sticke to do this, Diccon, I trow?Diccon.Now, by my fathers skin! my hand downe I lay it!290Loke, as I have promised, I wil not denay it.But, Hodge, take good heede now, thou do not beshite me!(And gave him a good blow on the buttocke.)Hodge.Gogs hart! thou false villaine, dost thou bite me?Bayly.What, Hodge, doth he hurt thee or ever he begin?Hodge.He thrust me into the buttocke with a bodkin or a pin!295I saie, Gammer! Gammer!Gammer.How now Hodge, how now?Hodge.Gods malt, Gammer Gurton!Gammer.Thou art mad, ich trow!Hodge.Will you see the devil, Gammer?Gammer.The devil, sonne! God blesse us!Hodge.Chould iche were hanged, Gammer—Gammer.Mary, se, ye might dresse us—Hodge.Chave it, by the masse, Gammer!Gammer.What? not my neele, Hodge?300Hodge.Your neele, Gammer! your neele!Gammer.No, fie, dost but dodge!Hodge.Cha found your neele, Gammer, here in my hand be it!Gammer.For al the loves on earth, Hodge, let me see it!Hodge.Soft, Gammer!Gammer.Good Hodge!Hodge.Soft, ich say; tarie a while!Gammer.Nay, sweete Hodge, say truth, and do not me begile!305Hodge.Cham sure on it, ich warrant you; it goes no more a stray.Gammer.Hodge, when I speake so faire; wilt stil say me nay?Hodge.Go neare the light, Gammer, this—wel, in faith, good lucke!—Chwas almost undone, twas so far in my buttocke!EivGammer.Tis min owne deare neele, Hodge, sykerly I wot!310Hodge.Cham I not a good sonne, Gammer, cham I not?Gammer.Christs blessing light on thee, hast made me for ever!Hodge.Ich knew that ich must finde it, els choud a had it never!Chat.By my troth, gossyp Gurton, I am even as gladAs though I mine owne selfe as good a turne had!315Bayly.And I, by my concience, to see it so come forth,Rejoyce so much at it as three nedles be worth.D. Rat.I am no whit sory to see you so rejoyce.Diccon.Nor I much the gladder for al this noyce;Yet say "gramercy, Diccon," for springing of the game.320Gammer.Gramercy, Diccon, twenty times! O how glad cham!If that chould do so much, your masterdome to come hether,Master Rat, Goodwife Chat, and Diccon together,Cha but one halfpeny, as far as iche know it,And chil not rest this night till ich bestow it.325If ever ye love me, let us go in and drinke.Bayly.I am content, if the rest thinke as I thinke.Master Rat, it shal be best for you if we so doo;Then shall you warme you and dresse your self too.Diccon.Soft, syrs, take us with you, the company shal be the more!As proude coms behinde, they say, as any goes before!But now, my good masters, since we must be gone,And leave you behinde us here all alone;Since at our last ending thus mery we bee,For Gammer Gurtons nedle sake, let us have a plaudytie!Finis. Gurton. Perused and alowed, &c.Imprinted at Londonin Fleetestreate beneath the Conduite,at the signe of S. John Euangelist, byThomas Colwell1575.FOOTNOTES:[657]moment, time.[658]A common contraction formaster.[659]'Broche' and 'spit' are synonymous.[660]set of people, company; cf. Heywood,Play of the Wether, l. 94.[661]I am. The rustic dialect in the piece is conventional, but its general peculiarities are those of the southwestern counties;iche= I, reduced tochincham,chould, orchwold(I would),chwere, etc. The southwesternvforfis not generally used, but occurs below invylthy, invast(I. iv. 8), and invathers(II. i. 52);glayefor clay is probably not genuine dialect.[662]Misprintedwhat.[663]H. prints 'halse aker,' with the following absurd note: "I believe we should readhalse anchor, oranker, as it was anciently spelt; a naval phrase."[664]Ed. 1575till.[665]Printedsayth.[666]I hold,i.e.'I wager.'[667]owed.[668]'Pess,' a hassock (Rye'sEast Anglian Glossary, English Dialect Society).[669]the ground attached to the house. (Cf. Sc. toun.)[670]with vigour and speed, promptly.[671]Commonly supposed to mean St. Osyth.[672]wager, bet; compare note 2, page 101. Ed. 1575held.[673]a fool, jester.[674]For the older and better form of this song, see Appendix.[675]A roasted crab-apple was placed in a bowl of ale to give it a flavour and take off the chill. CompareMidsummer Night's Dream, II. i. 48, and Nashe,Summer's Last Will and Testament:—Sitting in a corner turning crabs,Or coughing o'er a warmed pot of ale.[676]Ed. 1575will.[677]entrails.[678]Ed. 1575Godgs.[679]Ed. 1575dogde.[680]deceived.[681]Ed. 1575thonge.[682]Ed. 1575syme.[683]give thee thanks.[684]offspring, brat.[685]Ed. 1575 'is'; the reading adopted seems better thanis burste.[686]Ed. 1575will.[687]I hope.[688]room.[689]first-rate.[690]spurrier's, harness-maker's.[691]dear.[692]Read 'lese,' for the rime.[693]slip, neglect. Perhaps we should read 'yon' for 'you[r].'[694]by nature.[695]Ed. 1575 hasthynge.[696]awl.[697]Apparently a proverbial phrase, meaning 'to expedite matters.'[698]abominable.[699]'Friar Rush,' the chief personage in a popular story translated from the German, which relates the adventures of a devil in the disguise of a friar.[700]Ed. 1575no.[701]Ed. 1575on.[702]leave, permission.[703]aught.[704]Ed. 1575pray.[705]Probably a misprint for 'chware,' I would be.[706]we shall.[707]Chaveis either a blunder of the author's in the use of dialect, or a misprint for 'thave' = thou have.[708]quickly.[709]tail, backside.[710]sulking (compareglum, andR. R. D., I. i. 66).[711]Ed. 1575Tyb.[712]Ed. 1575bauet not i.[713]Ed. 1575moned.[714](I) make.[715]t'other, the other.[716]Ed. 1575The ii Acte. The iiii Sceane.[717]anxiety.[718]In Colwell's edition this scene extends to the end of the act. There should probably be a division after line 63, and again after line 105 (as in Professor Manly's edition), but we have retained the original arrangement.[719]went.[720]Ed. 1575,worthe.[721]ere, before.[722]M. begins a new scene here; H. says it should begin at line 68.[723]Brewing trough.[724]M. begins a new scene here.[725]H. inserts 'with' before 'them.' But 'beares' means 'support, uphold.'[726]Printedof, ed. 1575.[727]This is said to Scapethryft, who is nowhere mentioned in the text. 'Fellow' (equivalent to 'comrade') was originally a courteous mode of addressing a servant, like the Frenchmon ami.[728]Ill may he thrive; the phrase is common in the fourteenth century. Cf. also "y-the,"Hickscorner, l .187.[729]Ed. 1575you.[730]roost.[731]poultry.[732]God yield you, God reward you. CompareGood den,God deven= good e'en.[733]moved, disturbed.[734]behave.[735]neck.[736]Perhaps we should read 'recetter,' for the sake of the rime.[737]saving your reverence.[738]as thou.[739]Toad; the same phrase occurs in Gosson,Ephimerides of Phialo(Arber) 63, "I have neither replyed to the writer of this libel ... nor let him go scot free ... but poynted to the strawe where the padd lurkes."[740]Ed. 1575 gives this line to Chat.[741]cloaks or smothers.[742]what shall I call (it). Compare "nicebecetur,"R. D.I. iv. 12.[743]'cut' is often used in the sixteenth century as a term of abuse, especially for women.[744]Printedmery.[745]spit.[746]'stoure,' uproar. Printedscoure.[747]served out, done for.[748]to 'leap at a daisy,' to be hanged. The allusion is to a story of a man who, when the noose was adjusted round his neck, leapt off with the words, "Have at yon daisy yonder" (Pasquil's Jests, 1604).[749]Ed. 1575where.[750]Ed. 1575on.APPENDIXThe song at the beginning of the second act exists in an older and better version, which was printed by Dyce (from a Ms. in his own possession) in his edition of Skelton'sWorks, Vol. I, p. vii. It is not likely that the date of the composition is much older than the middle of the sixteenth century, and it may possibly be later. The following copy is taken from Dyce, but the punctuation and the capitals have been adjusted in accordance with the rules elsewhere adopted in the present work.

Gammer.Chil shew you his face, ich warrant the; lo now where he is!

Bayly.Come on, fellow, it is tolde me thou art a shrew, iwysse:85Thy neighbours hens thou takest, and playes the two legged foxe;Their chickens and their capons to, and now and then their cocks.

Bayly.Come on, fellow, it is tolde me thou art a shrew, iwysse:85

Thy neighbours hens thou takest, and playes the two legged foxe;

Their chickens and their capons to, and now and then their cocks.

Hodge.Ich defy them al that dare it say, cham as true as the best!

Bayly.Wart not thou take within this houre in Dame Chats hens nest?

Hodge.Take there? no, master; chold not dot for a house ful of gold!90

Chat.Thou or the devil in thy cote—sweare this I dare be bold.

D. Rat.Sweare me no swearing, quean, the devill he geve the sorow!Al is not worth a gnat thou canst sweare till to morow:EWhere is the harme he hath? shew it, by Gods bread!Ye beat him with a witnes, but the stripes light on my head!95

D. Rat.Sweare me no swearing, quean, the devill he geve the sorow!

Al is not worth a gnat thou canst sweare till to morow:E

Where is the harme he hath? shew it, by Gods bread!

Ye beat him with a witnes, but the stripes light on my head!95

Hodge.Bet me? Gogs blessed body, chold first, ich trow, have burst the!Ich thinke and chad my hands loose, callet, chould have crust the!

Hodge.Bet me? Gogs blessed body, chold first, ich trow, have burst the!

Ich thinke and chad my hands loose, callet, chould have crust the!

Chat.Thou shitten knave, I trow thou knowest the ful weight of my fist;I am fowly deceved onles thy head and my doore bar kyste.

Chat.Thou shitten knave, I trow thou knowest the ful weight of my fist;

I am fowly deceved onles thy head and my doore bar kyste.

Hodge.Hold thy chat, whore, thou criest so loude, can no man els be hard.100

Chat.Well, knave, and I had the alone, I wold surely rap thy costard!

Bayly.Sir, answer me to this: is thy head whole or broken?

Hodge.[740]Yea, Master Bayly, blest be every good token,Is my head whole! Ich warrant you, tis neither scurvy nor scald!What, you foule beast, does think tis either pild or bald?105Nay, ich thanke God, chil not for al that thou maist spendThat chad one scab on my narse as brode as thy fingers end.

Hodge.[740]Yea, Master Bayly, blest be every good token,

Is my head whole! Ich warrant you, tis neither scurvy nor scald!

What, you foule beast, does think tis either pild or bald?105

Nay, ich thanke God, chil not for al that thou maist spend

That chad one scab on my narse as brode as thy fingers end.

Bayly.Come nearer heare!

Hodge.Yes, that I dare.

Bayly.By our Lady, here is no harme,Hodges head is whole ynough, for al Dame Chats charme.Chat.By Gogs blest, hou ever the thing he clockes or smolders,[741]110I know the blowes he bare away, either with head or shoulders.Camest thou not, knave, within this houre, creping into my pens,And there was caught within my hous groping among my hens?Hodge.A plage both on the hens & the! A carte, whore, a carte!Chould I were hanged as hie as a tree and chware as false as thou art!115Geve my gammer again her washical[742]thou stole away in thy lap!Gammer.Yea Maister Baily, there is a thing you know not on, mayhap;This drab she kepes away my good, the devil he might her snare!Ich pray you that ich might have a right action on her [fare].Chat.Have I thy good, old filth, or any such old sowes?120I am as true, I wold thou knew, as skin betwene thy browes!Gammer.Many a truer hath ben hanged, though you escape the daunger!Chat.Thou shalt answer, by Gods pity, for this thy foule slaunder!Bayly.Why, what can ye charge hir withal? To say so ye do not well.Gammer.Mary, a vengeance to hir hart! the whore hase stoln my neele!125Chat.Thy nedle, old witch? how so? it were almes thy scul to knock!So didst thou say the other day that I had stolne thy cock,And rosted him to my breakfast, which shal not be forgotten;The devil pul out thy lying tong and teeth that be so rotten!Gammer.Geve me my neele! As for my cock, chould be very loth130That chuld here tel he shuld hang on thy false faith and troth.Bayly.Your talke is such, I can scarce learne who shuld be most in fault.Gammer.Yet shall be find no other wight, save she, by bred and salt!Bayly.Kepe ye content a while, se that your tonges ye holde.Me thinkes you shuld remembre this is no place to scolde.135How knowest thou, Gammer Gurton, Dame Chat thy nedle had?Gammer.To name you, sir, the party, chould not be very glad.Bayly.Yea, but we must nedes heare it, and therfore say it boldly.Gammer.Such one as told the tale full soberly and coldly,Even he that loked on—wil sweare on a booke—140What time this drunken gossip my faire long neele up tooke,Diccon, master, the Bedlam, cham very sure ye know him.Bayly.A false knave, by Gods pitie! ye were but a foole to trow him.I durst aventure wel the price of my best cap,That when the end is knowen, all will turne to a jape.145Tolde he not you that besides she stole your cocke that tyde?Gammer.No, master, no indede; for then he shuld have lyed.My cocke is, I thanke Christ, safe and wel a fine.Chat.Yea, but that ragged colt, that whore, that Tyb of thine,Said plainly thy cocke was stolne, and in my house was eaten.150That lying cut[743]is lost that she is not swinged and beaten,And yet for al my good name, it were a small amendes!I picke not this geare, hearst thou, out of my fingers endes;But he that hard it told me, who thou of late didst name,Diccon, whom al men knowes, it was the very same.155Bayly.This is the case: you lost your nedle about the dores,And she answeres againe, she hase no cocke of yours;Thus in you[r] talke and action, from that you do intend,She is whole five mile wide, from that she doth defend.Will you say she hath your cocke?Gammer.No, mary,[744]sir, that chil not,160Bayly.Will you confesse hir neele?Chat.Will I? No sir, will I not.Bayly.Then there lieth all the matter,Gammer.Soft, master, by the way!Ye know she could do litle, and she cold not say nay.Bayly.Yea, but he that made one lie about your cock stealing,Wil not sticke to make another, what time lies be in dealing.165I wene the ende wil prove this brawle did first ariseEiiUpon no other ground but only Diccons lyes.Chat.Though some be lyes, as you belike have espyed them,Yet other some be true, by proof I have wel tryed them.Bayly.What other thing beside this, Dame Chat?Chat.Mary syr, even this.170The tale I tolde before, the selfe same tale it was his;He gave me, like a frende, warning against my losse,Els had my hens be stolne eche one, by Gods crosse!He tolde me Hodge wold come, and in he came indeede,But as the matter chaunsed, with greater hast than speede.175This truth was said, and true was found, as truly I report.Bayly.If Doctor Rat be not deceived, it was of another sort.D. Rat.By Gods mother, thou and he be a cople of suttle foxes!Betweene you and Hodge, I beare away the boxes.Did not Diccon apoynt the place, wher thou shuldst stand to mete him?180Chat.Yes, by the masse, and if he came, bad me not sticke to speet[745]hym.D. Rat.Gods sacrament! the villain knave hath drest us round about!He is the cause of all this brawle, that dyrty shitten loute!When Gammer Gurton here complained, and made a ruful mone,I heard him sweare that you had gotten hir nedle that was gone;185And this to try, he furder said, he was ful loth; how be itHe was content with small adoe to bring me where to see it.And where ye sat, he said ful certain, if I wold folow his read,Into your house a privy way he wold me guide and leade,And where ye had it in your hands, sewing about a clowte,190And set me in the backe hole, therby to finde you out:And whiles I sought a quietnes, creping upon my knees,I found the weight of your dore bar for my reward and fees.Such is the lucke that some men gets, while they begin to melIn setting at one such as were out, minding to make al wel.195Hodge.Was not wel blest, Gammer, to scape that stoure?[746]And chad ben there,Then chad been drest,[747]be like, as ill, by the masse, as Gaffar Vicar.Bayly.Mary, sir, here is a sport alone; I loked for such an end.If Diccon had not playd the knave, this had ben sone amend.My gammer here he made a foole, and drest hir as she was;200And Goodwife Chat he set to scole, till both partes cried alas;And D[octor] Rat was not behind, whiles Chat his crown did pare.I wold the knave had ben starke blind, if Hodg had not his share.Hodge.Cham meetly wel sped alredy amongs, cham drest lik a coult!And chad not had the better wit, chad bene made a doult.205Bayly.Sir knave, make hast Diccon were here, fetch him, where ever he bee!Chat.Fie on the villaine, fie, fie! that makes us thus agree!Gammer.Fie on him, knave, with al my hart! now fie! and fie againe!D. Rat.Now "fie on him!" may I best say, whom he hath almost slaine.Bayly.Lo where he commeth at hand, belike he was not fare!210Diccon, heare be two or three thy company can not spare.Diccon.God blesse you, and you may be blest, so many al at once.Chat.Come knave, it were a good deed to geld the, by Cockes bones!Seest not thy handiwarke? Sir Rat, can ye forbeare him?Diccon.A vengeance on those hands lite, for my hands cam not nere hym.215The horsen priest hath lift the pot in some of these alewyves chayresThat his head wolde not serve him, belyke, to come downe the stayres.Bayly.Nay, soft! thou maist not play the knave, and have this language to!If thou thy tong bridle a while, the better maist thou do.Confesse the truth, as I shall aske, and cease a while to fable;220And for thy fault I promise the thy handling shalbe reasonable.Hast thou not made a lie or two, to set these two by the eares?Diccon.What if I have? five hundred such have I seene within these seven yeares:I am sory for nothing else but that I see not the sportWhich was betwene them when they met, as they them selves report.225Bayly.The greatest thing—Master Rat, ye se how he is drest!Diccon.What devil nede he be groping so depe, in Goodwife Chats hens nest?Bayly.Yea, but it was thy drift to bring him into the briars.Diccon.Gods bread! hath not such an old foole wit to save his eares?He showeth himselfe herein, ye see, so very a coxe,230The cat was not so madly alured by the foxeTo run into the snares was set for him, doubtlesse;For he leapt in for myce, and this Sir John for madnes.D. Rat.Well, and ye shift no better, ye losel, lyther, and lasye,I will go neare for this to make ye leape at a dasye.[748]235In the kings name, Master Bayly, I charge you set him fast.Diccon.What, faste at cardes, or fast on slepe? it is the thing I did last.D. Rat.Nay, fast in fetters, false varlet, according to thy deedes.Bayly.Master Doctor, ther is no remedy, I must intreat you needesSome other kinde of punishment.EiiiD. Rat.Nay by all halowes240His punishment if I may judg, shal be naught els but the gallous.Bayly.That ware to sore, a spiritual man to be so extreame!D. Rat.Is he worthy any better, sir? how do ye judge and deame?Bayly.I graunt him wort[h]ie punishment, but in no wise so great.Gammer.It is a shame, ich tel you plaine, for such false knaves intreat!245He has almost undone us al—that is as true as steele,—And yet for al this great ado cham never the nere my neele!Bayly.Canst thou not say any thing to that, Diccon, with least or most?Diccon.Yea, mary, sir, this much I can say wel, the nedle is lost.Bayly.Nay, canst not thou tel which way that nedle may be found?250Diccon.No, by my fay, sir, though I might have an hundred pound.Hodge.Thou lier, lickdish, didst not say the neele wold be gitten?Diccon.No, Hodge, by the same token, you were[749]that time beshittenFor feare of Hobgobling—you wot wel what I meane;As long as it is sence, I feare me yet ye be scarce cleane.255Bayly.Wel, Master Rat, you must both learne and teach us to forgeve.Since Diccon hath confession made, and is so cleane shreve,If ye to me conscent, to amend this heavie chaunce,I wil injoyne him here some open kind of penaunce,Of this condition (where ye know my fee is twenty pence):260For the bloodshed, I am agreed with you here to dispence;Ye shal go quite, so that ye graunt the matter now to runTo end with mirth emong us al, even as it was begun.Chat.Say yea, Master Vicar, and he shall sure confes to be your detter,And al we that be heare present, wil love you much the better.265D. Rat.My part is the worst; but since you al here on agree,Go even to, Master Bayly! let it be so for mee!Bayly.How saiest thou, Diccon? art content this shal on me depend?Diccon.Go to, M[ast] Bayly, say on your mind, I know ye are my frend.Bayly.Then marke ye wel: To recompence this thy former action,—270Because thou hast offended al, to make them satisfaction,—Before their faces here kneele downe, and, as I shal the teach,—For thou shalt take an[750]othe of Hodges leather breache:First, for Master Doctor, upon paine of his cursse,Where he wil pay for al, thou never draw thy purse;275And when ye meete at one pot he shall have the first pull,And thou shalt never offer him the cup but it be full.To Goodwife that thou shalt be sworne, even on the same wyse,If she refuse thy money once, never to offer it twise.Thou shalt be bound by the same, here as thou dost take it,280When thou maist drinke of free cost, thou never forsake it.For Gammer Gurton's sake, againe sworne shalt thou bee,To helpe hir to hir nedle againe if it do lie in thee;And likewise be bound, by the vertue of that,To be of good abering to Gib her great cat.285Last of al, for Hodge the othe to scanne,Thou shalt never take him for fine gentleman.Hodge.Come, on, fellow Diccon, chal be even with thee now!Bayly.Thou wilt not sticke to do this, Diccon, I trow?Diccon.Now, by my fathers skin! my hand downe I lay it!290Loke, as I have promised, I wil not denay it.But, Hodge, take good heede now, thou do not beshite me!

Bayly.By our Lady, here is no harme,

Hodges head is whole ynough, for al Dame Chats charme.

Chat.By Gogs blest, hou ever the thing he clockes or smolders,[741]110I know the blowes he bare away, either with head or shoulders.Camest thou not, knave, within this houre, creping into my pens,And there was caught within my hous groping among my hens?

Chat.By Gogs blest, hou ever the thing he clockes or smolders,[741]110

I know the blowes he bare away, either with head or shoulders.

Camest thou not, knave, within this houre, creping into my pens,

And there was caught within my hous groping among my hens?

Hodge.A plage both on the hens & the! A carte, whore, a carte!Chould I were hanged as hie as a tree and chware as false as thou art!115Geve my gammer again her washical[742]thou stole away in thy lap!

Hodge.A plage both on the hens & the! A carte, whore, a carte!

Chould I were hanged as hie as a tree and chware as false as thou art!115

Geve my gammer again her washical[742]thou stole away in thy lap!

Gammer.Yea Maister Baily, there is a thing you know not on, mayhap;This drab she kepes away my good, the devil he might her snare!Ich pray you that ich might have a right action on her [fare].

Gammer.Yea Maister Baily, there is a thing you know not on, mayhap;

This drab she kepes away my good, the devil he might her snare!

Ich pray you that ich might have a right action on her [fare].

Chat.Have I thy good, old filth, or any such old sowes?120I am as true, I wold thou knew, as skin betwene thy browes!

Chat.Have I thy good, old filth, or any such old sowes?120

I am as true, I wold thou knew, as skin betwene thy browes!

Gammer.Many a truer hath ben hanged, though you escape the daunger!

Chat.Thou shalt answer, by Gods pity, for this thy foule slaunder!

Bayly.Why, what can ye charge hir withal? To say so ye do not well.

Gammer.Mary, a vengeance to hir hart! the whore hase stoln my neele!125

Chat.Thy nedle, old witch? how so? it were almes thy scul to knock!So didst thou say the other day that I had stolne thy cock,And rosted him to my breakfast, which shal not be forgotten;The devil pul out thy lying tong and teeth that be so rotten!

Chat.Thy nedle, old witch? how so? it were almes thy scul to knock!

So didst thou say the other day that I had stolne thy cock,

And rosted him to my breakfast, which shal not be forgotten;

The devil pul out thy lying tong and teeth that be so rotten!

Gammer.Geve me my neele! As for my cock, chould be very loth130That chuld here tel he shuld hang on thy false faith and troth.

Gammer.Geve me my neele! As for my cock, chould be very loth130

That chuld here tel he shuld hang on thy false faith and troth.

Bayly.Your talke is such, I can scarce learne who shuld be most in fault.

Gammer.Yet shall be find no other wight, save she, by bred and salt!

Bayly.Kepe ye content a while, se that your tonges ye holde.Me thinkes you shuld remembre this is no place to scolde.135How knowest thou, Gammer Gurton, Dame Chat thy nedle had?

Bayly.Kepe ye content a while, se that your tonges ye holde.

Me thinkes you shuld remembre this is no place to scolde.135

How knowest thou, Gammer Gurton, Dame Chat thy nedle had?

Gammer.To name you, sir, the party, chould not be very glad.

Bayly.Yea, but we must nedes heare it, and therfore say it boldly.

Gammer.Such one as told the tale full soberly and coldly,Even he that loked on—wil sweare on a booke—140What time this drunken gossip my faire long neele up tooke,Diccon, master, the Bedlam, cham very sure ye know him.

Gammer.Such one as told the tale full soberly and coldly,

Even he that loked on—wil sweare on a booke—140

What time this drunken gossip my faire long neele up tooke,

Diccon, master, the Bedlam, cham very sure ye know him.

Bayly.A false knave, by Gods pitie! ye were but a foole to trow him.I durst aventure wel the price of my best cap,That when the end is knowen, all will turne to a jape.145Tolde he not you that besides she stole your cocke that tyde?

Bayly.A false knave, by Gods pitie! ye were but a foole to trow him.

I durst aventure wel the price of my best cap,

That when the end is knowen, all will turne to a jape.145

Tolde he not you that besides she stole your cocke that tyde?

Gammer.No, master, no indede; for then he shuld have lyed.My cocke is, I thanke Christ, safe and wel a fine.

Gammer.No, master, no indede; for then he shuld have lyed.

My cocke is, I thanke Christ, safe and wel a fine.

Chat.Yea, but that ragged colt, that whore, that Tyb of thine,Said plainly thy cocke was stolne, and in my house was eaten.150That lying cut[743]is lost that she is not swinged and beaten,And yet for al my good name, it were a small amendes!I picke not this geare, hearst thou, out of my fingers endes;But he that hard it told me, who thou of late didst name,Diccon, whom al men knowes, it was the very same.155

Chat.Yea, but that ragged colt, that whore, that Tyb of thine,

Said plainly thy cocke was stolne, and in my house was eaten.150

That lying cut[743]is lost that she is not swinged and beaten,

And yet for al my good name, it were a small amendes!

I picke not this geare, hearst thou, out of my fingers endes;

But he that hard it told me, who thou of late didst name,

Diccon, whom al men knowes, it was the very same.155

Bayly.This is the case: you lost your nedle about the dores,And she answeres againe, she hase no cocke of yours;Thus in you[r] talke and action, from that you do intend,She is whole five mile wide, from that she doth defend.Will you say she hath your cocke?

Bayly.This is the case: you lost your nedle about the dores,

And she answeres againe, she hase no cocke of yours;

Thus in you[r] talke and action, from that you do intend,

She is whole five mile wide, from that she doth defend.

Will you say she hath your cocke?

Gammer.No, mary,[744]sir, that chil not,160

Bayly.Will you confesse hir neele?

Chat.Will I? No sir, will I not.

Bayly.Then there lieth all the matter,

Gammer.Soft, master, by the way!Ye know she could do litle, and she cold not say nay.

Gammer.Soft, master, by the way!

Ye know she could do litle, and she cold not say nay.

Bayly.Yea, but he that made one lie about your cock stealing,Wil not sticke to make another, what time lies be in dealing.165I wene the ende wil prove this brawle did first ariseEiiUpon no other ground but only Diccons lyes.

Bayly.Yea, but he that made one lie about your cock stealing,

Wil not sticke to make another, what time lies be in dealing.165

I wene the ende wil prove this brawle did first ariseEii

Upon no other ground but only Diccons lyes.

Chat.Though some be lyes, as you belike have espyed them,Yet other some be true, by proof I have wel tryed them.

Chat.Though some be lyes, as you belike have espyed them,

Yet other some be true, by proof I have wel tryed them.

Bayly.What other thing beside this, Dame Chat?

Chat.Mary syr, even this.170The tale I tolde before, the selfe same tale it was his;He gave me, like a frende, warning against my losse,Els had my hens be stolne eche one, by Gods crosse!He tolde me Hodge wold come, and in he came indeede,But as the matter chaunsed, with greater hast than speede.175This truth was said, and true was found, as truly I report.

Chat.Mary syr, even this.170

The tale I tolde before, the selfe same tale it was his;

He gave me, like a frende, warning against my losse,

Els had my hens be stolne eche one, by Gods crosse!

He tolde me Hodge wold come, and in he came indeede,

But as the matter chaunsed, with greater hast than speede.175

This truth was said, and true was found, as truly I report.

Bayly.If Doctor Rat be not deceived, it was of another sort.

D. Rat.By Gods mother, thou and he be a cople of suttle foxes!Betweene you and Hodge, I beare away the boxes.Did not Diccon apoynt the place, wher thou shuldst stand to mete him?180

D. Rat.By Gods mother, thou and he be a cople of suttle foxes!

Betweene you and Hodge, I beare away the boxes.

Did not Diccon apoynt the place, wher thou shuldst stand to mete him?180

Chat.Yes, by the masse, and if he came, bad me not sticke to speet[745]hym.

D. Rat.Gods sacrament! the villain knave hath drest us round about!He is the cause of all this brawle, that dyrty shitten loute!When Gammer Gurton here complained, and made a ruful mone,I heard him sweare that you had gotten hir nedle that was gone;185And this to try, he furder said, he was ful loth; how be itHe was content with small adoe to bring me where to see it.And where ye sat, he said ful certain, if I wold folow his read,Into your house a privy way he wold me guide and leade,And where ye had it in your hands, sewing about a clowte,190And set me in the backe hole, therby to finde you out:And whiles I sought a quietnes, creping upon my knees,I found the weight of your dore bar for my reward and fees.Such is the lucke that some men gets, while they begin to melIn setting at one such as were out, minding to make al wel.195

D. Rat.Gods sacrament! the villain knave hath drest us round about!

He is the cause of all this brawle, that dyrty shitten loute!

When Gammer Gurton here complained, and made a ruful mone,

I heard him sweare that you had gotten hir nedle that was gone;185

And this to try, he furder said, he was ful loth; how be it

He was content with small adoe to bring me where to see it.

And where ye sat, he said ful certain, if I wold folow his read,

Into your house a privy way he wold me guide and leade,

And where ye had it in your hands, sewing about a clowte,190

And set me in the backe hole, therby to finde you out:

And whiles I sought a quietnes, creping upon my knees,

I found the weight of your dore bar for my reward and fees.

Such is the lucke that some men gets, while they begin to mel

In setting at one such as were out, minding to make al wel.195

Hodge.Was not wel blest, Gammer, to scape that stoure?[746]And chad ben there,Then chad been drest,[747]be like, as ill, by the masse, as Gaffar Vicar.

Hodge.Was not wel blest, Gammer, to scape that stoure?[746]And chad ben there,

Then chad been drest,[747]be like, as ill, by the masse, as Gaffar Vicar.

Bayly.Mary, sir, here is a sport alone; I loked for such an end.If Diccon had not playd the knave, this had ben sone amend.My gammer here he made a foole, and drest hir as she was;200And Goodwife Chat he set to scole, till both partes cried alas;And D[octor] Rat was not behind, whiles Chat his crown did pare.I wold the knave had ben starke blind, if Hodg had not his share.

Bayly.Mary, sir, here is a sport alone; I loked for such an end.

If Diccon had not playd the knave, this had ben sone amend.

My gammer here he made a foole, and drest hir as she was;200

And Goodwife Chat he set to scole, till both partes cried alas;

And D[octor] Rat was not behind, whiles Chat his crown did pare.

I wold the knave had ben starke blind, if Hodg had not his share.

Hodge.Cham meetly wel sped alredy amongs, cham drest lik a coult!And chad not had the better wit, chad bene made a doult.205

Hodge.Cham meetly wel sped alredy amongs, cham drest lik a coult!

And chad not had the better wit, chad bene made a doult.205

Bayly.Sir knave, make hast Diccon were here, fetch him, where ever he bee!

Chat.Fie on the villaine, fie, fie! that makes us thus agree!

Gammer.Fie on him, knave, with al my hart! now fie! and fie againe!

D. Rat.Now "fie on him!" may I best say, whom he hath almost slaine.

Bayly.Lo where he commeth at hand, belike he was not fare!210Diccon, heare be two or three thy company can not spare.

Bayly.Lo where he commeth at hand, belike he was not fare!210

Diccon, heare be two or three thy company can not spare.

Diccon.God blesse you, and you may be blest, so many al at once.

Chat.Come knave, it were a good deed to geld the, by Cockes bones!Seest not thy handiwarke? Sir Rat, can ye forbeare him?

Chat.Come knave, it were a good deed to geld the, by Cockes bones!

Seest not thy handiwarke? Sir Rat, can ye forbeare him?

Diccon.A vengeance on those hands lite, for my hands cam not nere hym.215The horsen priest hath lift the pot in some of these alewyves chayresThat his head wolde not serve him, belyke, to come downe the stayres.

Diccon.A vengeance on those hands lite, for my hands cam not nere hym.215

The horsen priest hath lift the pot in some of these alewyves chayres

That his head wolde not serve him, belyke, to come downe the stayres.

Bayly.Nay, soft! thou maist not play the knave, and have this language to!If thou thy tong bridle a while, the better maist thou do.Confesse the truth, as I shall aske, and cease a while to fable;220And for thy fault I promise the thy handling shalbe reasonable.Hast thou not made a lie or two, to set these two by the eares?

Bayly.Nay, soft! thou maist not play the knave, and have this language to!

If thou thy tong bridle a while, the better maist thou do.

Confesse the truth, as I shall aske, and cease a while to fable;220

And for thy fault I promise the thy handling shalbe reasonable.

Hast thou not made a lie or two, to set these two by the eares?

Diccon.What if I have? five hundred such have I seene within these seven yeares:I am sory for nothing else but that I see not the sportWhich was betwene them when they met, as they them selves report.225

Diccon.What if I have? five hundred such have I seene within these seven yeares:

I am sory for nothing else but that I see not the sport

Which was betwene them when they met, as they them selves report.225

Bayly.The greatest thing—Master Rat, ye se how he is drest!

Diccon.What devil nede he be groping so depe, in Goodwife Chats hens nest?

Bayly.Yea, but it was thy drift to bring him into the briars.

Diccon.Gods bread! hath not such an old foole wit to save his eares?He showeth himselfe herein, ye see, so very a coxe,230The cat was not so madly alured by the foxeTo run into the snares was set for him, doubtlesse;For he leapt in for myce, and this Sir John for madnes.

Diccon.Gods bread! hath not such an old foole wit to save his eares?

He showeth himselfe herein, ye see, so very a coxe,230

The cat was not so madly alured by the foxe

To run into the snares was set for him, doubtlesse;

For he leapt in for myce, and this Sir John for madnes.

D. Rat.Well, and ye shift no better, ye losel, lyther, and lasye,I will go neare for this to make ye leape at a dasye.[748]235In the kings name, Master Bayly, I charge you set him fast.

D. Rat.Well, and ye shift no better, ye losel, lyther, and lasye,

I will go neare for this to make ye leape at a dasye.[748]235

In the kings name, Master Bayly, I charge you set him fast.

Diccon.What, faste at cardes, or fast on slepe? it is the thing I did last.

D. Rat.Nay, fast in fetters, false varlet, according to thy deedes.

Bayly.Master Doctor, ther is no remedy, I must intreat you needesSome other kinde of punishment.Eiii

Bayly.Master Doctor, ther is no remedy, I must intreat you needes

Some other kinde of punishment.Eiii

D. Rat.Nay by all halowes240His punishment if I may judg, shal be naught els but the gallous.

D. Rat.Nay by all halowes240

His punishment if I may judg, shal be naught els but the gallous.

Bayly.That ware to sore, a spiritual man to be so extreame!

D. Rat.Is he worthy any better, sir? how do ye judge and deame?

Bayly.I graunt him wort[h]ie punishment, but in no wise so great.

Gammer.It is a shame, ich tel you plaine, for such false knaves intreat!245He has almost undone us al—that is as true as steele,—And yet for al this great ado cham never the nere my neele!

Gammer.It is a shame, ich tel you plaine, for such false knaves intreat!245

He has almost undone us al—that is as true as steele,—

And yet for al this great ado cham never the nere my neele!

Bayly.Canst thou not say any thing to that, Diccon, with least or most?

Diccon.Yea, mary, sir, this much I can say wel, the nedle is lost.

Bayly.Nay, canst not thou tel which way that nedle may be found?250

Diccon.No, by my fay, sir, though I might have an hundred pound.

Hodge.Thou lier, lickdish, didst not say the neele wold be gitten?

Diccon.No, Hodge, by the same token, you were[749]that time beshittenFor feare of Hobgobling—you wot wel what I meane;As long as it is sence, I feare me yet ye be scarce cleane.255

Diccon.No, Hodge, by the same token, you were[749]that time beshitten

For feare of Hobgobling—you wot wel what I meane;

As long as it is sence, I feare me yet ye be scarce cleane.255

Bayly.Wel, Master Rat, you must both learne and teach us to forgeve.Since Diccon hath confession made, and is so cleane shreve,If ye to me conscent, to amend this heavie chaunce,I wil injoyne him here some open kind of penaunce,Of this condition (where ye know my fee is twenty pence):260For the bloodshed, I am agreed with you here to dispence;Ye shal go quite, so that ye graunt the matter now to runTo end with mirth emong us al, even as it was begun.

Bayly.Wel, Master Rat, you must both learne and teach us to forgeve.

Since Diccon hath confession made, and is so cleane shreve,

If ye to me conscent, to amend this heavie chaunce,

I wil injoyne him here some open kind of penaunce,

Of this condition (where ye know my fee is twenty pence):260

For the bloodshed, I am agreed with you here to dispence;

Ye shal go quite, so that ye graunt the matter now to run

To end with mirth emong us al, even as it was begun.

Chat.Say yea, Master Vicar, and he shall sure confes to be your detter,And al we that be heare present, wil love you much the better.265

Chat.Say yea, Master Vicar, and he shall sure confes to be your detter,

And al we that be heare present, wil love you much the better.265

D. Rat.My part is the worst; but since you al here on agree,Go even to, Master Bayly! let it be so for mee!

D. Rat.My part is the worst; but since you al here on agree,

Go even to, Master Bayly! let it be so for mee!

Bayly.How saiest thou, Diccon? art content this shal on me depend?

Diccon.Go to, M[ast] Bayly, say on your mind, I know ye are my frend.

Bayly.Then marke ye wel: To recompence this thy former action,—270Because thou hast offended al, to make them satisfaction,—Before their faces here kneele downe, and, as I shal the teach,—For thou shalt take an[750]othe of Hodges leather breache:First, for Master Doctor, upon paine of his cursse,Where he wil pay for al, thou never draw thy purse;275And when ye meete at one pot he shall have the first pull,And thou shalt never offer him the cup but it be full.To Goodwife that thou shalt be sworne, even on the same wyse,If she refuse thy money once, never to offer it twise.Thou shalt be bound by the same, here as thou dost take it,280When thou maist drinke of free cost, thou never forsake it.For Gammer Gurton's sake, againe sworne shalt thou bee,To helpe hir to hir nedle againe if it do lie in thee;And likewise be bound, by the vertue of that,To be of good abering to Gib her great cat.285Last of al, for Hodge the othe to scanne,Thou shalt never take him for fine gentleman.

Bayly.Then marke ye wel: To recompence this thy former action,—270

Because thou hast offended al, to make them satisfaction,—

Before their faces here kneele downe, and, as I shal the teach,—

For thou shalt take an[750]othe of Hodges leather breache:

First, for Master Doctor, upon paine of his cursse,

Where he wil pay for al, thou never draw thy purse;275

And when ye meete at one pot he shall have the first pull,

And thou shalt never offer him the cup but it be full.

To Goodwife that thou shalt be sworne, even on the same wyse,

If she refuse thy money once, never to offer it twise.

Thou shalt be bound by the same, here as thou dost take it,280

When thou maist drinke of free cost, thou never forsake it.

For Gammer Gurton's sake, againe sworne shalt thou bee,

To helpe hir to hir nedle againe if it do lie in thee;

And likewise be bound, by the vertue of that,

To be of good abering to Gib her great cat.285

Last of al, for Hodge the othe to scanne,

Thou shalt never take him for fine gentleman.

Hodge.Come, on, fellow Diccon, chal be even with thee now!

Bayly.Thou wilt not sticke to do this, Diccon, I trow?

Diccon.Now, by my fathers skin! my hand downe I lay it!290Loke, as I have promised, I wil not denay it.But, Hodge, take good heede now, thou do not beshite me!

Diccon.Now, by my fathers skin! my hand downe I lay it!290

Loke, as I have promised, I wil not denay it.

But, Hodge, take good heede now, thou do not beshite me!

(And gave him a good blow on the buttocke.)

Hodge.Gogs hart! thou false villaine, dost thou bite me?Bayly.What, Hodge, doth he hurt thee or ever he begin?Hodge.He thrust me into the buttocke with a bodkin or a pin!295I saie, Gammer! Gammer!Gammer.How now Hodge, how now?Hodge.Gods malt, Gammer Gurton!Gammer.Thou art mad, ich trow!Hodge.Will you see the devil, Gammer?Gammer.The devil, sonne! God blesse us!Hodge.Chould iche were hanged, Gammer—Gammer.Mary, se, ye might dresse us—Hodge.Chave it, by the masse, Gammer!Gammer.What? not my neele, Hodge?300Hodge.Your neele, Gammer! your neele!Gammer.No, fie, dost but dodge!Hodge.Cha found your neele, Gammer, here in my hand be it!Gammer.For al the loves on earth, Hodge, let me see it!Hodge.Soft, Gammer!Gammer.Good Hodge!Hodge.Soft, ich say; tarie a while!Gammer.Nay, sweete Hodge, say truth, and do not me begile!305Hodge.Cham sure on it, ich warrant you; it goes no more a stray.Gammer.Hodge, when I speake so faire; wilt stil say me nay?Hodge.Go neare the light, Gammer, this—wel, in faith, good lucke!—Chwas almost undone, twas so far in my buttocke!EivGammer.Tis min owne deare neele, Hodge, sykerly I wot!310Hodge.Cham I not a good sonne, Gammer, cham I not?Gammer.Christs blessing light on thee, hast made me for ever!Hodge.Ich knew that ich must finde it, els choud a had it never!Chat.By my troth, gossyp Gurton, I am even as gladAs though I mine owne selfe as good a turne had!315Bayly.And I, by my concience, to see it so come forth,Rejoyce so much at it as three nedles be worth.D. Rat.I am no whit sory to see you so rejoyce.Diccon.Nor I much the gladder for al this noyce;Yet say "gramercy, Diccon," for springing of the game.320Gammer.Gramercy, Diccon, twenty times! O how glad cham!If that chould do so much, your masterdome to come hether,Master Rat, Goodwife Chat, and Diccon together,Cha but one halfpeny, as far as iche know it,And chil not rest this night till ich bestow it.325If ever ye love me, let us go in and drinke.Bayly.I am content, if the rest thinke as I thinke.Master Rat, it shal be best for you if we so doo;Then shall you warme you and dresse your self too.Diccon.Soft, syrs, take us with you, the company shal be the more!As proude coms behinde, they say, as any goes before!But now, my good masters, since we must be gone,And leave you behinde us here all alone;Since at our last ending thus mery we bee,For Gammer Gurtons nedle sake, let us have a plaudytie!

Hodge.Gogs hart! thou false villaine, dost thou bite me?

Bayly.What, Hodge, doth he hurt thee or ever he begin?

Hodge.He thrust me into the buttocke with a bodkin or a pin!295I saie, Gammer! Gammer!

Hodge.He thrust me into the buttocke with a bodkin or a pin!295

I saie, Gammer! Gammer!

Gammer.How now Hodge, how now?

Hodge.Gods malt, Gammer Gurton!

Gammer.Thou art mad, ich trow!

Hodge.Will you see the devil, Gammer?

Gammer.The devil, sonne! God blesse us!

Hodge.Chould iche were hanged, Gammer—

Gammer.Mary, se, ye might dresse us—

Hodge.Chave it, by the masse, Gammer!

Gammer.What? not my neele, Hodge?300

Hodge.Your neele, Gammer! your neele!

Gammer.No, fie, dost but dodge!

Hodge.Cha found your neele, Gammer, here in my hand be it!

Gammer.For al the loves on earth, Hodge, let me see it!

Hodge.Soft, Gammer!

Gammer.Good Hodge!

Hodge.Soft, ich say; tarie a while!

Gammer.Nay, sweete Hodge, say truth, and do not me begile!305

Hodge.Cham sure on it, ich warrant you; it goes no more a stray.

Gammer.Hodge, when I speake so faire; wilt stil say me nay?

Hodge.Go neare the light, Gammer, this—wel, in faith, good lucke!—Chwas almost undone, twas so far in my buttocke!Eiv

Hodge.Go neare the light, Gammer, this—wel, in faith, good lucke!—

Chwas almost undone, twas so far in my buttocke!Eiv

Gammer.Tis min owne deare neele, Hodge, sykerly I wot!310

Hodge.Cham I not a good sonne, Gammer, cham I not?

Gammer.Christs blessing light on thee, hast made me for ever!

Hodge.Ich knew that ich must finde it, els choud a had it never!

Chat.By my troth, gossyp Gurton, I am even as gladAs though I mine owne selfe as good a turne had!315

Chat.By my troth, gossyp Gurton, I am even as glad

As though I mine owne selfe as good a turne had!315

Bayly.And I, by my concience, to see it so come forth,Rejoyce so much at it as three nedles be worth.

Bayly.And I, by my concience, to see it so come forth,

Rejoyce so much at it as three nedles be worth.

D. Rat.I am no whit sory to see you so rejoyce.

Diccon.Nor I much the gladder for al this noyce;Yet say "gramercy, Diccon," for springing of the game.320

Diccon.Nor I much the gladder for al this noyce;

Yet say "gramercy, Diccon," for springing of the game.320

Gammer.Gramercy, Diccon, twenty times! O how glad cham!If that chould do so much, your masterdome to come hether,Master Rat, Goodwife Chat, and Diccon together,Cha but one halfpeny, as far as iche know it,And chil not rest this night till ich bestow it.325If ever ye love me, let us go in and drinke.

Gammer.Gramercy, Diccon, twenty times! O how glad cham!

If that chould do so much, your masterdome to come hether,

Master Rat, Goodwife Chat, and Diccon together,

Cha but one halfpeny, as far as iche know it,

And chil not rest this night till ich bestow it.325

If ever ye love me, let us go in and drinke.

Bayly.I am content, if the rest thinke as I thinke.Master Rat, it shal be best for you if we so doo;Then shall you warme you and dresse your self too.

Bayly.I am content, if the rest thinke as I thinke.

Master Rat, it shal be best for you if we so doo;

Then shall you warme you and dresse your self too.

Diccon.Soft, syrs, take us with you, the company shal be the more!As proude coms behinde, they say, as any goes before!But now, my good masters, since we must be gone,And leave you behinde us here all alone;Since at our last ending thus mery we bee,For Gammer Gurtons nedle sake, let us have a plaudytie!

Diccon.Soft, syrs, take us with you, the company shal be the more!

As proude coms behinde, they say, as any goes before!

But now, my good masters, since we must be gone,

And leave you behinde us here all alone;

Since at our last ending thus mery we bee,

For Gammer Gurtons nedle sake, let us have a plaudytie!

Finis. Gurton. Perused and alowed, &c.

Imprinted at Londonin Fleetestreate beneath the Conduite,at the signe of S. John Euangelist, byThomas Colwell1575.

FOOTNOTES:[657]moment, time.[658]A common contraction formaster.[659]'Broche' and 'spit' are synonymous.[660]set of people, company; cf. Heywood,Play of the Wether, l. 94.[661]I am. The rustic dialect in the piece is conventional, but its general peculiarities are those of the southwestern counties;iche= I, reduced tochincham,chould, orchwold(I would),chwere, etc. The southwesternvforfis not generally used, but occurs below invylthy, invast(I. iv. 8), and invathers(II. i. 52);glayefor clay is probably not genuine dialect.[662]Misprintedwhat.[663]H. prints 'halse aker,' with the following absurd note: "I believe we should readhalse anchor, oranker, as it was anciently spelt; a naval phrase."[664]Ed. 1575till.[665]Printedsayth.[666]I hold,i.e.'I wager.'[667]owed.[668]'Pess,' a hassock (Rye'sEast Anglian Glossary, English Dialect Society).[669]the ground attached to the house. (Cf. Sc. toun.)[670]with vigour and speed, promptly.[671]Commonly supposed to mean St. Osyth.[672]wager, bet; compare note 2, page 101. Ed. 1575held.[673]a fool, jester.[674]For the older and better form of this song, see Appendix.[675]A roasted crab-apple was placed in a bowl of ale to give it a flavour and take off the chill. CompareMidsummer Night's Dream, II. i. 48, and Nashe,Summer's Last Will and Testament:—Sitting in a corner turning crabs,Or coughing o'er a warmed pot of ale.[676]Ed. 1575will.[677]entrails.[678]Ed. 1575Godgs.[679]Ed. 1575dogde.[680]deceived.[681]Ed. 1575thonge.[682]Ed. 1575syme.[683]give thee thanks.[684]offspring, brat.[685]Ed. 1575 'is'; the reading adopted seems better thanis burste.[686]Ed. 1575will.[687]I hope.[688]room.[689]first-rate.[690]spurrier's, harness-maker's.[691]dear.[692]Read 'lese,' for the rime.[693]slip, neglect. Perhaps we should read 'yon' for 'you[r].'[694]by nature.[695]Ed. 1575 hasthynge.[696]awl.[697]Apparently a proverbial phrase, meaning 'to expedite matters.'[698]abominable.[699]'Friar Rush,' the chief personage in a popular story translated from the German, which relates the adventures of a devil in the disguise of a friar.[700]Ed. 1575no.[701]Ed. 1575on.[702]leave, permission.[703]aught.[704]Ed. 1575pray.[705]Probably a misprint for 'chware,' I would be.[706]we shall.[707]Chaveis either a blunder of the author's in the use of dialect, or a misprint for 'thave' = thou have.[708]quickly.[709]tail, backside.[710]sulking (compareglum, andR. R. D., I. i. 66).[711]Ed. 1575Tyb.[712]Ed. 1575bauet not i.[713]Ed. 1575moned.[714](I) make.[715]t'other, the other.[716]Ed. 1575The ii Acte. The iiii Sceane.[717]anxiety.[718]In Colwell's edition this scene extends to the end of the act. There should probably be a division after line 63, and again after line 105 (as in Professor Manly's edition), but we have retained the original arrangement.[719]went.[720]Ed. 1575,worthe.[721]ere, before.[722]M. begins a new scene here; H. says it should begin at line 68.[723]Brewing trough.[724]M. begins a new scene here.[725]H. inserts 'with' before 'them.' But 'beares' means 'support, uphold.'[726]Printedof, ed. 1575.[727]This is said to Scapethryft, who is nowhere mentioned in the text. 'Fellow' (equivalent to 'comrade') was originally a courteous mode of addressing a servant, like the Frenchmon ami.[728]Ill may he thrive; the phrase is common in the fourteenth century. Cf. also "y-the,"Hickscorner, l .187.[729]Ed. 1575you.[730]roost.[731]poultry.[732]God yield you, God reward you. CompareGood den,God deven= good e'en.[733]moved, disturbed.[734]behave.[735]neck.[736]Perhaps we should read 'recetter,' for the sake of the rime.[737]saving your reverence.[738]as thou.[739]Toad; the same phrase occurs in Gosson,Ephimerides of Phialo(Arber) 63, "I have neither replyed to the writer of this libel ... nor let him go scot free ... but poynted to the strawe where the padd lurkes."[740]Ed. 1575 gives this line to Chat.[741]cloaks or smothers.[742]what shall I call (it). Compare "nicebecetur,"R. D.I. iv. 12.[743]'cut' is often used in the sixteenth century as a term of abuse, especially for women.[744]Printedmery.[745]spit.[746]'stoure,' uproar. Printedscoure.[747]served out, done for.[748]to 'leap at a daisy,' to be hanged. The allusion is to a story of a man who, when the noose was adjusted round his neck, leapt off with the words, "Have at yon daisy yonder" (Pasquil's Jests, 1604).[749]Ed. 1575where.[750]Ed. 1575on.

[657]moment, time.

[658]A common contraction formaster.

[659]'Broche' and 'spit' are synonymous.

[660]set of people, company; cf. Heywood,Play of the Wether, l. 94.

[661]I am. The rustic dialect in the piece is conventional, but its general peculiarities are those of the southwestern counties;iche= I, reduced tochincham,chould, orchwold(I would),chwere, etc. The southwesternvforfis not generally used, but occurs below invylthy, invast(I. iv. 8), and invathers(II. i. 52);glayefor clay is probably not genuine dialect.

[662]Misprintedwhat.

[663]H. prints 'halse aker,' with the following absurd note: "I believe we should readhalse anchor, oranker, as it was anciently spelt; a naval phrase."

[664]Ed. 1575till.

[665]Printedsayth.

[666]I hold,i.e.'I wager.'

[667]owed.

[668]'Pess,' a hassock (Rye'sEast Anglian Glossary, English Dialect Society).

[669]the ground attached to the house. (Cf. Sc. toun.)

[670]with vigour and speed, promptly.

[671]Commonly supposed to mean St. Osyth.

[672]wager, bet; compare note 2, page 101. Ed. 1575held.

[673]a fool, jester.

[674]For the older and better form of this song, see Appendix.

[675]A roasted crab-apple was placed in a bowl of ale to give it a flavour and take off the chill. CompareMidsummer Night's Dream, II. i. 48, and Nashe,Summer's Last Will and Testament:—Sitting in a corner turning crabs,Or coughing o'er a warmed pot of ale.

[675]A roasted crab-apple was placed in a bowl of ale to give it a flavour and take off the chill. CompareMidsummer Night's Dream, II. i. 48, and Nashe,Summer's Last Will and Testament:—

Sitting in a corner turning crabs,Or coughing o'er a warmed pot of ale.

Sitting in a corner turning crabs,

Or coughing o'er a warmed pot of ale.

[676]Ed. 1575will.

[677]entrails.

[678]Ed. 1575Godgs.

[679]Ed. 1575dogde.

[680]deceived.

[681]Ed. 1575thonge.

[682]Ed. 1575syme.

[683]give thee thanks.

[684]offspring, brat.

[685]Ed. 1575 'is'; the reading adopted seems better thanis burste.

[686]Ed. 1575will.

[687]I hope.

[688]room.

[689]first-rate.

[690]spurrier's, harness-maker's.

[691]dear.

[692]Read 'lese,' for the rime.

[693]slip, neglect. Perhaps we should read 'yon' for 'you[r].'

[694]by nature.

[695]Ed. 1575 hasthynge.

[696]awl.

[697]Apparently a proverbial phrase, meaning 'to expedite matters.'

[698]abominable.

[699]'Friar Rush,' the chief personage in a popular story translated from the German, which relates the adventures of a devil in the disguise of a friar.

[700]Ed. 1575no.

[701]Ed. 1575on.

[702]leave, permission.

[703]aught.

[704]Ed. 1575pray.

[705]Probably a misprint for 'chware,' I would be.

[706]we shall.

[707]Chaveis either a blunder of the author's in the use of dialect, or a misprint for 'thave' = thou have.

[708]quickly.

[709]tail, backside.

[710]sulking (compareglum, andR. R. D., I. i. 66).

[711]Ed. 1575Tyb.

[712]Ed. 1575bauet not i.

[713]Ed. 1575moned.

[714](I) make.

[715]t'other, the other.

[716]Ed. 1575The ii Acte. The iiii Sceane.

[717]anxiety.

[718]In Colwell's edition this scene extends to the end of the act. There should probably be a division after line 63, and again after line 105 (as in Professor Manly's edition), but we have retained the original arrangement.

[719]went.

[720]Ed. 1575,worthe.

[721]ere, before.

[722]M. begins a new scene here; H. says it should begin at line 68.

[723]Brewing trough.

[724]M. begins a new scene here.

[725]H. inserts 'with' before 'them.' But 'beares' means 'support, uphold.'

[726]Printedof, ed. 1575.

[727]This is said to Scapethryft, who is nowhere mentioned in the text. 'Fellow' (equivalent to 'comrade') was originally a courteous mode of addressing a servant, like the Frenchmon ami.

[728]Ill may he thrive; the phrase is common in the fourteenth century. Cf. also "y-the,"Hickscorner, l .187.

[729]Ed. 1575you.

[730]roost.

[731]poultry.

[732]God yield you, God reward you. CompareGood den,God deven= good e'en.

[733]moved, disturbed.

[734]behave.

[735]neck.

[736]Perhaps we should read 'recetter,' for the sake of the rime.

[737]saving your reverence.

[738]as thou.

[739]Toad; the same phrase occurs in Gosson,Ephimerides of Phialo(Arber) 63, "I have neither replyed to the writer of this libel ... nor let him go scot free ... but poynted to the strawe where the padd lurkes."

[740]Ed. 1575 gives this line to Chat.

[741]cloaks or smothers.

[742]what shall I call (it). Compare "nicebecetur,"R. D.I. iv. 12.

[743]'cut' is often used in the sixteenth century as a term of abuse, especially for women.

[744]Printedmery.

[745]spit.

[746]'stoure,' uproar. Printedscoure.

[747]served out, done for.

[748]to 'leap at a daisy,' to be hanged. The allusion is to a story of a man who, when the noose was adjusted round his neck, leapt off with the words, "Have at yon daisy yonder" (Pasquil's Jests, 1604).

[749]Ed. 1575where.

[750]Ed. 1575on.

The song at the beginning of the second act exists in an older and better version, which was printed by Dyce (from a Ms. in his own possession) in his edition of Skelton'sWorks, Vol. I, p. vii. It is not likely that the date of the composition is much older than the middle of the sixteenth century, and it may possibly be later. The following copy is taken from Dyce, but the punctuation and the capitals have been adjusted in accordance with the rules elsewhere adopted in the present work.

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