The Prologue.W (What)Hat Creature is in health, eyther yong or olde,But som mirth with modestie wil be glad to vseAs we in thys Enterlude shall now vnfolde,Wherin all scurilitie we vtterly refuse,Auoiding such mirth wherin is abuse:Knowing nothing more comendable for a mans recreationThan Mirth which is vsed in an honest fashion:For Myrth prolongeth lyfe, and causeth health.Mirth recreates our spirites and voydeth pensiuenesse,Mirth increaseth amitie, not hindring our wealth,Mirth is to be vsed both of more and lesse,Being mixed with vertue in decent comlynesse.As we trust no good nature can gainsay the same:Which mirth we intende to vse, auoidyng all blame.The wyse Poets long time heretofore,Vnder merrie Comedies secretes did declare,Wherein was contained very vertuous lore,With mysteries and forewarnings very rare.Suche to write neitherPlautusnorTerencedyd spare,Whiche among the learned at this day beares the bell:These with such other therein dyd excell.Our Comedie or Enterlude which we intende to play.Is named Royster Doyster in deede.Which against the vayne glorious doth inuey,Whose humour the roysting sort continually doth feede.Thus by your pacience we intende to proceedeIn this our Enterlude by Gods leaue and grace,And here I take my leaue for a certaine space.FINIS.Roister Doister.Actus. j. Scæna. j.Mathewe Merygreeke.He entreth singing.A (As)S long lyueth the mery man (they say)As doth the sory man, and longer by a day.Yet the Grassehopper for all his Sommer pipyng,Sterueth in Winter wyth hungrie gripyng,Therefore an other sayd sawe doth men aduise,That they be together both mery and wise.Thys Lesson must I practise, or else ere long,Wyth mee Mathew Merygreeke it will be wrong.In deede men so call me, for by him that vs bought,What euer chaunce betide, I can take no thought,Yet wisedome woulde that I did my selfe bethinkeWhere to be prouided this day of meate and drinke:For know ye, that for all this merie note of mine,He might appose me now that should aske where I dine.My lyuing lieth heere and there, of Gods grace,Sometime wyth this good man, sometyme in that place,Sometime Lewis Loytrer biddeth me come neere,Somewhyles Watkin Waster maketh vs good cheere,Sometime Dauy Diceplayer when he hath well castKeepeth reuell route as long as it will last.Sometime Tom Titiuile maketh vs a feast,Sometime with sir Hugh Pye I am a bidden gueast,Sometime at Nichol Neuerthriues I get a soppe,Sometime I am feasted with Bryan Blinkinsoppe,Sometime I hang on Hankin Hoddydodies sleeue,But thys day on Ralph Royster Doysters by hys leeue.For truely of all men he is my chiefe bankerBoth for meate and money, and my chiefe shootanker.For, sooth Roister Doister in that he doth say,And require what ye will ye shall haue no nay.But now of Roister Doister somewhat to expresse,That ye may esteeme him after hys worthinesse,In these twentie townes and seke them throughout,Is not the like stocke, whereon to graffe a loute.All the day long is he facing and crakingOf his great actes in fighting and fraymaking:But when Roister Doister is put to his proofe,To keepe the Queenes peace is more for his behoofe.If any woman smyle or cast on hym an eye,Vp is he to the harde eares in loue by and by,And in all the hotte haste must she be hys wife.Else farewell hys good days, and farewell his life,Maister Raufe Royster Doister is but dead and gonExcepte she on hym take some compassion,Then chiefe of counsell, must be Mathew Merygreeke,What if I for mariage to suche an one seeke?Then must I sooth it, what euer it is:For what he sayth or doth can not be amisse,Holde vp his yea and nay, be his nowne white sonne,Prayse and rouse him well, and ye haue his heart wonne,For so well liketh he his owne fonde fashionsThat he taketh pride of false commendations.But such sporte haue I with him as I would not leese,Though I should be bounde to lyue with bread and cheese.For exalt hym, and haue hym as ye lust in deede:Yea to hold his finger in a hole for a neede.I can with a worde make him fayne or loth,I can with as much make him pleased or wroth,I can when I will make him mery and glad,I can when me lust make him sory and sad,I can set him in hope and eke in dispaire,I can make him speake rough, and make him speake faire.But I maruell I see hym not all thys same day,I wyll seeke him out: But loe he commeth thys way,I haue yond espied hym sadly comming,And in loue for twentie pounde, by hys glommyng.Actus. j. Scæna. ij.Rafe Roister Doister.Mathew Merygreeke.R. Royster.C (Come)Ome death when thou wilt, I am weary of my life.M. Mery.I tolde you I, we should wowe another wife.R. Royster.Why did God make me suche a goodly person?M. Mery.He is in by the weke, we shall haue sport anon.R. Royster.And where is my trustie friende Mathew Merygreeke?M. Mery.I wyll make as I sawe him not, he doth me seeke.R. Royster.I haue hym espyed me thinketh, yond is hee,Hough Mathew Merygreeke my friend, a worde with thee.M. Mery.I wyll not heare him, but make as I had haste,Farewell all my good friendes, the tyme away dothe waste,And the tide they say, tarieth for no man.R. Royster.Thou must with thy good counsell helpe me if thou can.M. Mery.God keepe thee worshypfull Maister Roister Doister,And fare well the lustie Maister Roister Doister.R. Royster.I muste needes speake with thee a worde or twaine.M. Mery.Within a month or two I will be here againe,Negligence in greate affaires ye knowe may marre all.R. Royster.Attende vpon me now, and well rewarde thee I shall.M. Mery.I haue take my leaue, and the tide is well spent.R. Royster.I die except thou helpe, I pray thee be content,Doe thy parte wel nowe, and aske what thou wilt,For without thy aide my matter is all spilt.M. Mery.Then to serue your turne I will some paines take,And let all myne owne affaires alone for your sake.R. Royster.My whole hope and trust resteth onely in thee.M. Mery.Then can ye not doe amisse what euer it bee.R. Royster.Gramercies Merygreeke, most bounde to thee I am.M. Mery.But vp with that heart, and speake out like a ramme,Ye speake like a Capon that had the cough now:Bee of good cheere, anon ye shall doe well ynow.R. Royster.Vpon thy comforte, I will all things well handle.M. Mery.So loe, that is a breast to blowe out a candle.But what is this great matter I woulde faine knowe,We shall fynde remedie therefore I trowe.Doe ye lacke money? ye knowe myne olde offers,Ye haue always a key to my purse and coffers.R. Royster.I thanke thee: had euer man suche a frende?M. Mery.Ye gyue vnto me: I must needes to you lende.R. Royster.Nay I haue money plentie all things to discharge.M. Mery.That knewe I ryght well when I made offer so large.But it is no suche matter.A handwritten note in the margin gives the previous half-line to “R. Royster”. This is probably correct.M. Mery.What is it than?Are ye in daunger of debte to any man?If ye be, take no thought nor be not afraide,Let them hardly take thought how they shall be paide.R. Royster.Tut I owe nought.M. Mery.What then? fear ye imprisonment?R. Royster.No.M. Mery.No I wist ye offende, not so to be shent.But if he had, the Toure coulde not you so holde,But to breake out at all times ye would be bolde.What is it? hath any man threatned you to beate?R. Royster.What is he that durst haue put me in that heate?He that beateth me by his armes shall well fynde,That I will not be farre from him nor runne behinde.M. Mery.That thing knowe all men euer since ye ouerthrewe,The fellow of the Lion whichHerculesslewe.But what is it than?R. Royster.Of loue I make my mone.M. Mery.Ah this foolishe a loue, wilt neare let vs alone?But bicause ye were refused the last day,Ye sayd ye woulde nere more be intangled that way.I woulde medle no more, since I fynde all so vnkinde.R. Royster.Yea, but I can not so put loue out of my minde.Math. Mer.But is your loue tell me first, in any wise,In the way of Mariage, or of Merchandise?If it may otherwise than lawfull be founde,Ye get none of my helpe for an hundred pounde.R. Royster.No by my trouth I woulde haue hir to my Wife.M. Mery.Then are ye a good man, and God saue your life,And what or who is she, with whome ye are in loue?R. Royster.A woman whome I knowe not by what meanes to moue.M. Mery.Who is it?R. Royster.A woman yond.M. Mery.What is hir name?R. Royster.Hir yonder.M. Mery.Whom.R. Royster.Mistresse ah.M. Mery.Fy fy for shameLoue ye, and know not whome? but hir yonde, a Woman,We shall then get you a Wyfe, I can not tell whan.R. Royster.The faire Woman, that supped wyth vs yesternyght,And I hearde hir name twice or thrice, and had it ryght.M. Mery.Yea, ye may see ye nere take me to good cheere with you,If ye had, I coulde haue tolde you hir name now.R. Royster.I was to blame in deede, but the nexte tyme perchaunce:And she dwelleth in this house.M. Mery.What Christian Custance.R. Royster.Except I haue hir to my Wife, I shall runne madde.M. Mery.Nay vnwise perhaps, but I warrant you for madde.R. Royster.I am vtterly dead vnlesse I haue my desire.M. Mery.Where be the bellowes that blewe this sodeine fire?R. Royster.I heare she is worthe a thousande pounde and more.M. Mery.Yea, but learne this one lesson of me afore,An hundred pounde of Marriage money doubtlesse,Is euer thirtie pounde sterlyng, or somewhat lesse,So that hir Thousande pounde yf she be thriftie,Is muche neere about two hundred and fiftie,Howebeit wowers and Widowes are neuer poore.R. Royster.Is she a Widowe? I loue hir better therefore.M. Mery.But I heare she hath made promise to another.R. Royster.He shall goe without hir, and he were my brother.M. Mery.I haue hearde say, I am right well aduised,That she hath to Gawyn Goodlucke promised.R. Royster.What is that Gawyn Goodlucke?M. Mery.aMerchant man.R. Royster.Shall he speede afore me? nay sir by sweete Sainct Anne.Ah sir, Backare quod Mortimer to his sowe,I wyll haue hir myne owne selfe I make God a vow.For I tell thee, she is worthe a thousande pounde.M. Mery.Yet a fitter wife for your maship might be founde:Suche a goodly man as you, might get one wyth lande,Besides poundes of golde a thousande and a thousande,And a thousande, and a thousande, and a thousande,And so to the summe of twentie hundred thousande,Your most goodly personage is worthie of no lesse.R. Royster.I am sorie God made me so comely doubtlesse.For that maketh me eche where so highly fauoured,And all women on me so enamoured.M. Mery.Enamoured quod you? haue ye spied out that?Ah sir, mary nowe I see you know what is what.Enamoured ka? mary sir say that againe,But I thought not ye had marked it so plaine.R. Royster.Yes, eche where they gaze all vpon me and stare.M. Mery.Yea malkyn, I warrant you as muche as they dare.And ye will not beleue what they say in the streete,When your mashyp passeth by all such as I meete,That sometimes I can scarce finde what aunswere to make.Who is this (sayth one) sirLauncelot du lake?Who is this, greateGuyof Warwike, sayth an other?No (say I) it is the thirtenthHerculesbrother.Who is this? nobleHectorofTroy, sayth the thirde?No, but of the same nest (say I) it is a birde.Who is this? greateGoliah,Sampson, orColbrande?No (say I) but it is a brute of the Alie lande.Who is this? greateAlexander? orCharle le Maigne?No, it is the tenth Worthie, say I to them agayne:I knowe not if I sayd well.R. Royster.Yes for so I am.M. Mery.Yea, for there were but nine worthies before ye came.To some others, the thirdeCatoI doe you call.And so as well as I can I aunswere them all.Sir I pray you, what lorde or great gentleman is this?Maister Ralph Roister Doister dame say I, ywis.O Lorde (sayth she than) what a goodly man it is,Woulde Christ I had such a husbande as he is.O Lorde (say some) that the sight of his face we lacke:It is inough for you (say I) to see his backe.His face is for ladies of high and noble parages.With whome he hardly scapeth great mariages.With muche more than this, and much otherwise.R. Royster.I can thee thanke that thou canst suche answeres deuise:But I perceyue thou doste me throughly knowe.M. Mery.I marke your maners for myne owne learnyng I trowe,But suche is your beautie, and suche are your actes,Suche is your personage, and suche are your factes,That all women faire and fowle, more and lesse,That eye you, they lubbe you, they talke of you doubtlesse,Your p[l]easant looke maketh them all merie,Ye passe not by, but they laugh till they be werie,Yea and money coulde I haue the truthe to tell,Of many, to bryng you that way where they dwell.R. Royster.Merygreeke for this thy reporting well of mee:M. Mery.What shoulde I else sir, it is my duetie pardee:R. Royster.I promise thou shalt not lacke, while I haue a grote.M. Mery.Faith sir, and I nere had more nede of a newe cote.R. Royster.Thou shalte haue one to morowe, and golde for to spende.M. Mery.Then I trust to bring the day to a good ende.For as for mine owne parte hauing money inowe,I could lyue onely with the remembrance of you.But nowe to your Widowe whome you loue so hotte.R. Royster.By cocke thou sayest truthe, I had almost forgotte.M. Mery.What if Christian Custance will not haue you what?R. Royster.Haue me? yes I warrant you, neuer doubt of that,I knowe she loueth me, but she dare not speake.M. Mery.In deede meete it were some body should it breake.R. Royster.She looked on me twentie tymes yesternight,And laughed so.M. Mery.That she coulde not sitte vpright,R. Royster.No faith coulde she not.M. Mery.No euen such a thing I cast.R. Royster.But for wowyng thou knowest women are shamefast.But and she knewe my minde, I knowe she would be glad,And thinke it the best chaunce that euer she had.M. Mery.Too hir then like a man, and be bolde forth to starte,Wowers neuer speede well, that haue a false harte.R. Royster.What may I best doe?M. Mery.Sir remaine ye a while,Ere long one or other of hir house will appere.Ye knowe my minde.R. Royster.Yea now hardly lette me alone.M. Mery.In the meane time sir, if you please, I wyll home,And call your Musitians, for in this your caseIt would sette you forth, and all your wowyng grace,Ye may not lacke your instrumentes to play and sing.R. Royster.Thou knowest I can doe that.M. Mery.As well as any thing.Shall I go call your folkes, that ye may shewe a cast?R. Royster.Yea runne I beseeche thee in all possible haste.M. Mery.I goe.Exeat.R. Royster.Yea for I loue singyng out of measure,It comforteth my spirites and doth me great pleasure.But who commeth forth yond from my swete hearte Custance?My matter frameth well, thys is a luckie chaunce.Actus. j. Scæna. iij.Mage Mumble crust,spinning on the distaffe.Tibet Talk apace,sowyng.Annot Alyfaceknittyng.R. Roister.M. Mumbl.I (If)F thys distaffe were spoonne Margerie Mumblecrust.Tib Talk.Where good stale ale is will drinke no water I trust.M. Mumbl.Dame Custance hath promised vs good ale and white bread.Tib Talk.If she kepe not promise, I will beshrewe her head:But it will be starke nyght before I shall haue done.R. Royster.I will stande here a while, and talke with them anon,I heare them speake of Custance, which doth my heart good,To heare hir name spoken doth euen comfort my blood.M. Mumbl.Sit downe to your worke Tibet like a good girle.Tib. Talk.Nourse medle you with your spyndle and your whirle,No haste but good, Madge Mumblecrust, for whip and whurreThe olde prouerbe doth say, neuer made good furre.M. Mumbl.Well, ye wyll sitte downe to your worke anon, I trust.Tib. Talk.Soft fire maketh sweete malte, good Madge Mumblecrust.M. Mumbl.And sweete malte maketh ioly good ale for the nones.Tib. Talk.Whiche will slide downe the lane without any bones.Cantet.Olde browne bread crustes must haue much good mumblyng,But good ale downe your throte hath good easie tumbling.R. Royster.The iolyest wenche that ere I hearde, little mouse,May I not reioyce that she shall dwell in my house?Tib. Talk.So sirrha, nowe this geare beginneth for to frame.M. Mumbl.Thanks to God, though your work stand stil, your tong is not lameTib. Talk.And though your teeth be gone, both so sharpe and so fineYet your tongue can renne on patins as well as mine.M. Mumbl.Ye were not for nought named Tyb Talke apace.Tib. Talk.Doth my talke grieue you? Alack, God saue your grace.M. Mumbl.I holde a grote ye will drinke anon for this geare.Tib. Talk.And I wyll pray you the stripes for me to beare.M. Mumbl.I holde a penny, ye will drink without a cup.Tib. Talk.Wherein so ere ye drinke, I wote ye drinke all vp.An. Alyface.By Cock and well sowed, my good Tibet Talke apace.Tib. Talk.And een as well knitte my nowne Annot Alyface.R. Royster.See what a sort she kepeth that must be my wife.Shall not I when I haue hir, leade a merrie life?Tib. Talk.Welcome my good wenche, and sitte here by me iust.An. Alyface.And howe doth our old beldame here, Mage Mumblecrust?Tib. Talk.Chyde, and finde faultes, and threaten to complaine.An. Alyface.To make vs poore girles shent to hir is small gaine.M. Mumbl.I dyd neyther chyde, nor complaine, nor threaten.R. Royster.It woulde grieue my heart to see one of them beaten.M. Mumbl.I dyd nothyng but byd hir worke and holde hir peace.Tib. Talk.So would I, if you coulde your clattering ceasse:But the deuill can not make olde trotte holde hir tong.An. Alyface.Let all these matters passe, and we three sing a song,So shall we pleasantly bothe the tyme beguile now,And eke dispatche all our workes ere we can tell how.Tib. Talk.I shrew them that say nay, and that shall not be I.M. Mumbl.And I am well content.Tib. Talk.Sing on then by and by.R. Royster.And I will not away, but listen to their song,Yet Merygreeke and my folkes tary very long.Tib,An, andMargerie, doe singe here.Pipe mery Annot. etc.Trilla, Trilla. Trillarie.Worke Tibet, worke Annot, worke Margerie.Sewe Tibet, knitte Annot, spinne Margerie.Let vs see who shall winne the victorie.Tib. Talk.This sleue is not willyng to be sewed I trowe,A small thing might make me all in the grounde to throwe.Then they sing agayne.Pipe merrie Annot. etc.Trilla. Trilla. Trillarie.What Tibet, what Annot, what Margerie.Ye sleepe, but we doe not, that shall we trie.Your fingers be nombde, our worke will not lie.Tib. Talk.If ye doe so againe, well I would aduise you nay.In good sooth one stoppe more, and I make holy day.They singe the thirde tyme.Pipe Mery Annot. etc.Trilla. Trilla. Trillarie.Nowe Tibbet, now Annot, nowe Margerie.Nowe whippet apace for the maystrie,But it will not be, our mouth is so drie.Tib. Talk.Ah, eche finger is a thombe to day me thinke,I care not to let all alone, choose it swimme or sinke.They sing the fourth tyme.Pipe Mery Annot. etc.Trilla. Trilla. Trillarie.When Tibet, when Annot, when Margerie.I will not, I can not, no more can I.Lette hir caste downe hir vvorke.Then giue we all ouer, and there let it lye.Tib. Talk.There it lieth, the worste is but a curried cote,Tut I am vsed therto, I care not a grote.An. Alyface.Haue we done singyng since? then will I in againe,Here I founde you, and here I leaue both twaine.Exeat.M. Mumbl.And I will not be long after: Tib Talke apace.Tib. Talk.What is ye matter?M. Mumb.Yond stode a man al this spaceAnd hath hearde all that euer we spake togyther.Tib. Talk.Mary the more loute he for his comming hither.And the lesse good he can to listen maidens talke.I care not and I go byd him hence for to walke:It were well done to knowe what he maketh here away.R. Royster.Nowe myght I speake to them, if I wist what to say.M. Mumbl.Nay we will go both off, and see what he is.R. Royster.One that hath hearde all your talke and singyng ywis.Tib. Talk.The more to blame you, a good thriftie husbandeWoulde elsewhere haue had some better matters in hande.R. Royster.I dyd it for no harme, but for good loue I beare,To your dame mistresse Custance, I did your talke heare.And Mistresse nource I will kisse you for acquaintance.M. Mumbl.I come anon sir.Tib. Talk.Faith I would our dame CustanceSawe this geare.M. Mumbl.I must first wipe al cleane, yea I must.Tib. Talk.Ill chieue it dotyng foole, but it must be cust.M. Mumbl.God yelde you sir, chad not so much ichotte not whan,Nere since chwas bore chwine, of such a gay gentleman.R. Royster.I will kisse you too mayden for the good will I beare you.Tib. Talk.No forsoth, by your leaue ye shall not kisse me.R. Royster.Yes be not afearde, I doe not disdayne you a whit.Tib. Talk.Why shoulde I feare you? I haue not so little wit,Ye are but a man I knowe very well.R. Royster.Why then?Tib. Talk.Forsooth for I wyll not, I vse not to kisse men.R. Royster.I would faine kisse you too good maiden, if I myght.Tib. Talk.What shold that neede?R. Royster.But to honor you by this light.I vse to kisse all them that I loue to God I vowe.Tib. Talk.Yea sir? I pray you when dyd ye last kisse your cowe.R. Royster.Ye might be proude to kisse me, if ye were wise.Tib. Talk.What promotion were therein?R. Royster.Nourse is not so nice.Tib. Talk.Well I haue not bene taught to kissing and licking.R. Royster.Yet I thanke you mistresse Nourse, ye made no sticking.M. Mumbl.I will not sticke for a kosse with such a man as you.Tib. Talk.They that lust: I will againe to my sewyng now.An. Alyfac[e].Tidings hough, tidings, dame Custance greeteth you well.R. Royster.Whome me?An. Alyface.You sir? no sir? I do no suche tale tell.R. Royster.But and she knewe me here.An. Alyface.Tybet Talke apace,Your mistresse Custance and mine, must speake with your grace.Tib. Talk.With me?An. Alyface.Ye muste come in to hir out of all doutes.Tib. Talk.And my work not half done? A mischief on all loutes.Ex. am.R. Royster.Ah good sweet nourse.M. Mumb.A good sweete gentleman.R. Royster.What?M. Mumbl.Nay I can not tel sir, but what thing would you?R. Royster.Howe dothe sweete Custance, my heart of gold, tell me how?M. Mumbl.She dothe very well sir, and commaunde me to you.R. Royster.To me?M. Mumbl.Yea to you sir.R. Royster.To me? nurse tel me plainTo me?M. Mumb.Ye.R. Royster.That word maketh me aliue again.M. Mumbl.She commaunde me to one last day who ere it was.R. Royster.That was een to me and none other by the Masse.M. Mumb.I can not tell you surely, but one it was.R. Royster.It was I and none other: this commeth to good passe.I promise thee nourse I fauour hir.M. Mumb.Een so sir.R. Royster.Bid hir sue to me for mariage.M. Mumbl.Een so sir.R. Royster.And surely for thy sake she shall speede.M. Mumb.Een so sir.R. Royster.I shall be contented to take hir.M. Mumb.Een so sir.R. Royster.But at thy request and for thy sake.M. Mumb.Een so sir.R. Royster.And come hearke in thine eare what to say.M. Mumb.Here lette him tell hir a great long tale in hir eare.Een so sir.Actus. j. Scæna. iiij.Mathew Merygreeke.Dobinet Doughtie.Harpax.Ralph Royster.Margerie Mumblecrust.M. Mery.C (Come)Ome on sirs apace, and quite your selues like men,Your pains shalbe rewarded.D. Dou.But I wot not when.M. Mery.Do your maister worship as ye haue done in time past.D. Dough.Speake to them: of mine office he shall haue a cast.M. Mery.Harpax, looke that thou doe well too, and thy fellow.Harpax.I warrant, if he will myne example folowe.M. Mery.Curtsie whooresons, douke you and crouche at euery worde,D. Dough.Yes whether our maister speake earnest or borde.M. Mery.For this lieth vpon his preferment in deede.D. Dough.Oft is hee a wower, but neuer doth he speede.M. Mery.But with whome is he nowe so sadly roundyng yond?D. Dough.WithNobs nicebecetur misereresonde.[M.] Mery.God be at your wedding, be ye spedde alredie?I did not suppose that your loue was so greedie,I perceiue nowe ye haue chose of deuotion,And ioy haue ye ladie of your promotion.R. Royster.Tushe foole, thou art deceiued, this is not she.
W (What)Hat Creature is in health, eyther yong or olde,But som mirth with modestie wil be glad to vseAs we in thys Enterlude shall now vnfolde,
W (What)
Hat Creature is in health, eyther yong or olde,
But som mirth with modestie wil be glad to vse
As we in thys Enterlude shall now vnfolde,
Wherin all scurilitie we vtterly refuse,Auoiding such mirth wherin is abuse:Knowing nothing more comendable for a mans recreation
Wherin all scurilitie we vtterly refuse,
Auoiding such mirth wherin is abuse:
Knowing nothing more comendable for a mans recreation
Than Mirth which is vsed in an honest fashion:For Myrth prolongeth lyfe, and causeth health.Mirth recreates our spirites and voydeth pensiuenesse,
Than Mirth which is vsed in an honest fashion:
For Myrth prolongeth lyfe, and causeth health.
Mirth recreates our spirites and voydeth pensiuenesse,
Mirth increaseth amitie, not hindring our wealth,Mirth is to be vsed both of more and lesse,Being mixed with vertue in decent comlynesse.As we trust no good nature can gainsay the same:Which mirth we intende to vse, auoidyng all blame.The wyse Poets long time heretofore,Vnder merrie Comedies secretes did declare,Wherein was contained very vertuous lore,With mysteries and forewarnings very rare.Suche to write neitherPlautusnorTerencedyd spare,Whiche among the learned at this day beares the bell:These with such other therein dyd excell.Our Comedie or Enterlude which we intende to play.Is named Royster Doyster in deede.Which against the vayne glorious doth inuey,Whose humour the roysting sort continually doth feede.Thus by your pacience we intende to proceedeIn this our Enterlude by Gods leaue and grace,And here I take my leaue for a certaine space.
Mirth increaseth amitie, not hindring our wealth,
Mirth is to be vsed both of more and lesse,
Being mixed with vertue in decent comlynesse.
As we trust no good nature can gainsay the same:
Which mirth we intende to vse, auoidyng all blame.
The wyse Poets long time heretofore,
Vnder merrie Comedies secretes did declare,
Wherein was contained very vertuous lore,
With mysteries and forewarnings very rare.
Suche to write neitherPlautusnorTerencedyd spare,
Whiche among the learned at this day beares the bell:
These with such other therein dyd excell.
Our Comedie or Enterlude which we intende to play.
Is named Royster Doyster in deede.
Which against the vayne glorious doth inuey,
Whose humour the roysting sort continually doth feede.
Thus by your pacience we intende to proceede
In this our Enterlude by Gods leaue and grace,
And here I take my leaue for a certaine space.
Actus. j. Scæna. j.
Mathewe Merygreeke.He entreth singing.
A (As)S long lyueth the mery man (they say)As doth the sory man, and longer by a day.Yet the Grassehopper for all his Sommer pipyng,Sterueth in Winter wyth hungrie gripyng,
A (As)
S long lyueth the mery man (they say)
As doth the sory man, and longer by a day.
Yet the Grassehopper for all his Sommer pipyng,
Sterueth in Winter wyth hungrie gripyng,
Therefore an other sayd sawe doth men aduise,That they be together both mery and wise.Thys Lesson must I practise, or else ere long,Wyth mee Mathew Merygreeke it will be wrong.
Therefore an other sayd sawe doth men aduise,
That they be together both mery and wise.
Thys Lesson must I practise, or else ere long,
Wyth mee Mathew Merygreeke it will be wrong.
In deede men so call me, for by him that vs bought,What euer chaunce betide, I can take no thought,Yet wisedome woulde that I did my selfe bethinkeWhere to be prouided this day of meate and drinke:
In deede men so call me, for by him that vs bought,
What euer chaunce betide, I can take no thought,
Yet wisedome woulde that I did my selfe bethinke
Where to be prouided this day of meate and drinke:
For know ye, that for all this merie note of mine,He might appose me now that should aske where I dine.My lyuing lieth heere and there, of Gods grace,Sometime wyth this good man, sometyme in that place,Sometime Lewis Loytrer biddeth me come neere,Somewhyles Watkin Waster maketh vs good cheere,Sometime Dauy Diceplayer when he hath well castKeepeth reuell route as long as it will last.Sometime Tom Titiuile maketh vs a feast,Sometime with sir Hugh Pye I am a bidden gueast,Sometime at Nichol Neuerthriues I get a soppe,Sometime I am feasted with Bryan Blinkinsoppe,Sometime I hang on Hankin Hoddydodies sleeue,But thys day on Ralph Royster Doysters by hys leeue.For truely of all men he is my chiefe bankerBoth for meate and money, and my chiefe shootanker.For, sooth Roister Doister in that he doth say,And require what ye will ye shall haue no nay.But now of Roister Doister somewhat to expresse,That ye may esteeme him after hys worthinesse,In these twentie townes and seke them throughout,Is not the like stocke, whereon to graffe a loute.All the day long is he facing and crakingOf his great actes in fighting and fraymaking:But when Roister Doister is put to his proofe,To keepe the Queenes peace is more for his behoofe.If any woman smyle or cast on hym an eye,Vp is he to the harde eares in loue by and by,And in all the hotte haste must she be hys wife.Else farewell hys good days, and farewell his life,Maister Raufe Royster Doister is but dead and gonExcepte she on hym take some compassion,Then chiefe of counsell, must be Mathew Merygreeke,What if I for mariage to suche an one seeke?Then must I sooth it, what euer it is:For what he sayth or doth can not be amisse,Holde vp his yea and nay, be his nowne white sonne,Prayse and rouse him well, and ye haue his heart wonne,For so well liketh he his owne fonde fashionsThat he taketh pride of false commendations.But such sporte haue I with him as I would not leese,Though I should be bounde to lyue with bread and cheese.For exalt hym, and haue hym as ye lust in deede:Yea to hold his finger in a hole for a neede.I can with a worde make him fayne or loth,I can with as much make him pleased or wroth,I can when I will make him mery and glad,I can when me lust make him sory and sad,I can set him in hope and eke in dispaire,I can make him speake rough, and make him speake faire.But I maruell I see hym not all thys same day,I wyll seeke him out: But loe he commeth thys way,I haue yond espied hym sadly comming,And in loue for twentie pounde, by hys glommyng.
For know ye, that for all this merie note of mine,
He might appose me now that should aske where I dine.
My lyuing lieth heere and there, of Gods grace,
Sometime wyth this good man, sometyme in that place,
Sometime Lewis Loytrer biddeth me come neere,
Somewhyles Watkin Waster maketh vs good cheere,
Sometime Dauy Diceplayer when he hath well cast
Keepeth reuell route as long as it will last.
Sometime Tom Titiuile maketh vs a feast,
Sometime with sir Hugh Pye I am a bidden gueast,
Sometime at Nichol Neuerthriues I get a soppe,
Sometime I am feasted with Bryan Blinkinsoppe,
Sometime I hang on Hankin Hoddydodies sleeue,
But thys day on Ralph Royster Doysters by hys leeue.
For truely of all men he is my chiefe banker
Both for meate and money, and my chiefe shootanker.
For, sooth Roister Doister in that he doth say,
And require what ye will ye shall haue no nay.
But now of Roister Doister somewhat to expresse,
That ye may esteeme him after hys worthinesse,
In these twentie townes and seke them throughout,
Is not the like stocke, whereon to graffe a loute.
All the day long is he facing and craking
Of his great actes in fighting and fraymaking:
But when Roister Doister is put to his proofe,
To keepe the Queenes peace is more for his behoofe.
If any woman smyle or cast on hym an eye,
Vp is he to the harde eares in loue by and by,
And in all the hotte haste must she be hys wife.
Else farewell hys good days, and farewell his life,
Maister Raufe Royster Doister is but dead and gon
Excepte she on hym take some compassion,
Then chiefe of counsell, must be Mathew Merygreeke,
What if I for mariage to suche an one seeke?
Then must I sooth it, what euer it is:
For what he sayth or doth can not be amisse,
Holde vp his yea and nay, be his nowne white sonne,
Prayse and rouse him well, and ye haue his heart wonne,
For so well liketh he his owne fonde fashions
That he taketh pride of false commendations.
But such sporte haue I with him as I would not leese,
Though I should be bounde to lyue with bread and cheese.
For exalt hym, and haue hym as ye lust in deede:
Yea to hold his finger in a hole for a neede.
I can with a worde make him fayne or loth,
I can with as much make him pleased or wroth,
I can when I will make him mery and glad,
I can when me lust make him sory and sad,
I can set him in hope and eke in dispaire,
I can make him speake rough, and make him speake faire.
But I maruell I see hym not all thys same day,
I wyll seeke him out: But loe he commeth thys way,
I haue yond espied hym sadly comming,
And in loue for twentie pounde, by hys glommyng.
Actus. j. Scæna. ij.
Rafe Roister Doister.Mathew Merygreeke.
R. Royster.C (Come)Ome death when thou wilt, I am weary of my life.
R. Royster.
C (Come)
Ome death when thou wilt, I am weary of my life.
M. Mery.I tolde you I, we should wowe another wife.
R. Royster.Why did God make me suche a goodly person?
M. Mery.He is in by the weke, we shall haue sport anon.
R. Royster.And where is my trustie friende Mathew Merygreeke?
M. Mery.I wyll make as I sawe him not, he doth me seeke.
R. Royster.I haue hym espyed me thinketh, yond is hee,Hough Mathew Merygreeke my friend, a worde with thee.
R. Royster.I haue hym espyed me thinketh, yond is hee,
Hough Mathew Merygreeke my friend, a worde with thee.
M. Mery.I wyll not heare him, but make as I had haste,Farewell all my good friendes, the tyme away dothe waste,And the tide they say, tarieth for no man.
M. Mery.I wyll not heare him, but make as I had haste,
Farewell all my good friendes, the tyme away dothe waste,
And the tide they say, tarieth for no man.
R. Royster.Thou must with thy good counsell helpe me if thou can.
M. Mery.God keepe thee worshypfull Maister Roister Doister,And fare well the lustie Maister Roister Doister.
M. Mery.God keepe thee worshypfull Maister Roister Doister,
And fare well the lustie Maister Roister Doister.
R. Royster.I muste needes speake with thee a worde or twaine.
M. Mery.Within a month or two I will be here againe,Negligence in greate affaires ye knowe may marre all.
M. Mery.Within a month or two I will be here againe,
Negligence in greate affaires ye knowe may marre all.
R. Royster.Attende vpon me now, and well rewarde thee I shall.
M. Mery.I haue take my leaue, and the tide is well spent.
R. Royster.I die except thou helpe, I pray thee be content,Doe thy parte wel nowe, and aske what thou wilt,For without thy aide my matter is all spilt.
R. Royster.I die except thou helpe, I pray thee be content,
Doe thy parte wel nowe, and aske what thou wilt,
For without thy aide my matter is all spilt.
M. Mery.Then to serue your turne I will some paines take,And let all myne owne affaires alone for your sake.
M. Mery.Then to serue your turne I will some paines take,
And let all myne owne affaires alone for your sake.
R. Royster.My whole hope and trust resteth onely in thee.
M. Mery.Then can ye not doe amisse what euer it bee.
R. Royster.Gramercies Merygreeke, most bounde to thee I am.
M. Mery.But vp with that heart, and speake out like a ramme,Ye speake like a Capon that had the cough now:Bee of good cheere, anon ye shall doe well ynow.
M. Mery.But vp with that heart, and speake out like a ramme,
Ye speake like a Capon that had the cough now:
Bee of good cheere, anon ye shall doe well ynow.
R. Royster.Vpon thy comforte, I will all things well handle.
M. Mery.So loe, that is a breast to blowe out a candle.But what is this great matter I woulde faine knowe,We shall fynde remedie therefore I trowe.Doe ye lacke money? ye knowe myne olde offers,Ye haue always a key to my purse and coffers.
M. Mery.So loe, that is a breast to blowe out a candle.
But what is this great matter I woulde faine knowe,
We shall fynde remedie therefore I trowe.
Doe ye lacke money? ye knowe myne olde offers,
Ye haue always a key to my purse and coffers.
R. Royster.I thanke thee: had euer man suche a frende?
M. Mery.Ye gyue vnto me: I must needes to you lende.
R. Royster.Nay I haue money plentie all things to discharge.
M. Mery.That knewe I ryght well when I made offer so large.But it is no suche matter.
M. Mery.That knewe I ryght well when I made offer so large.
But it is no suche matter.
A handwritten note in the margin gives the previous half-line to “R. Royster”. This is probably correct.
M. Mery.What is it than?Are ye in daunger of debte to any man?If ye be, take no thought nor be not afraide,Let them hardly take thought how they shall be paide.
M. Mery.What is it than?
Are ye in daunger of debte to any man?
If ye be, take no thought nor be not afraide,
Let them hardly take thought how they shall be paide.
R. Royster.Tut I owe nought.
M. Mery.What then? fear ye imprisonment?
R. Royster.No.
M. Mery.No I wist ye offende, not so to be shent.But if he had, the Toure coulde not you so holde,But to breake out at all times ye would be bolde.What is it? hath any man threatned you to beate?
M. Mery.No I wist ye offende, not so to be shent.
But if he had, the Toure coulde not you so holde,
But to breake out at all times ye would be bolde.
What is it? hath any man threatned you to beate?
R. Royster.What is he that durst haue put me in that heate?He that beateth me by his armes shall well fynde,That I will not be farre from him nor runne behinde.
R. Royster.What is he that durst haue put me in that heate?
He that beateth me by his armes shall well fynde,
That I will not be farre from him nor runne behinde.
M. Mery.That thing knowe all men euer since ye ouerthrewe,The fellow of the Lion whichHerculesslewe.But what is it than?
M. Mery.That thing knowe all men euer since ye ouerthrewe,
The fellow of the Lion whichHerculesslewe.
But what is it than?
R. Royster.Of loue I make my mone.
M. Mery.Ah this foolishe a loue, wilt neare let vs alone?But bicause ye were refused the last day,Ye sayd ye woulde nere more be intangled that way.I woulde medle no more, since I fynde all so vnkinde.
M. Mery.Ah this foolishe a loue, wilt neare let vs alone?
But bicause ye were refused the last day,
Ye sayd ye woulde nere more be intangled that way.
I woulde medle no more, since I fynde all so vnkinde.
R. Royster.Yea, but I can not so put loue out of my minde.
Math. Mer.But is your loue tell me first, in any wise,In the way of Mariage, or of Merchandise?If it may otherwise than lawfull be founde,Ye get none of my helpe for an hundred pounde.
Math. Mer.But is your loue tell me first, in any wise,
In the way of Mariage, or of Merchandise?
If it may otherwise than lawfull be founde,
Ye get none of my helpe for an hundred pounde.
R. Royster.No by my trouth I woulde haue hir to my Wife.
M. Mery.Then are ye a good man, and God saue your life,And what or who is she, with whome ye are in loue?
M. Mery.Then are ye a good man, and God saue your life,
And what or who is she, with whome ye are in loue?
R. Royster.A woman whome I knowe not by what meanes to moue.
M. Mery.Who is it?
R. Royster.A woman yond.
M. Mery.What is hir name?
R. Royster.Hir yonder.
M. Mery.Whom.
R. Royster.Mistresse ah.
M. Mery.Fy fy for shameLoue ye, and know not whome? but hir yonde, a Woman,We shall then get you a Wyfe, I can not tell whan.
M. Mery.Fy fy for shame
Loue ye, and know not whome? but hir yonde, a Woman,
We shall then get you a Wyfe, I can not tell whan.
R. Royster.The faire Woman, that supped wyth vs yesternyght,And I hearde hir name twice or thrice, and had it ryght.
R. Royster.The faire Woman, that supped wyth vs yesternyght,
And I hearde hir name twice or thrice, and had it ryght.
M. Mery.Yea, ye may see ye nere take me to good cheere with you,If ye had, I coulde haue tolde you hir name now.
M. Mery.Yea, ye may see ye nere take me to good cheere with you,
If ye had, I coulde haue tolde you hir name now.
R. Royster.I was to blame in deede, but the nexte tyme perchaunce:And she dwelleth in this house.
R. Royster.I was to blame in deede, but the nexte tyme perchaunce:
And she dwelleth in this house.
M. Mery.What Christian Custance.
R. Royster.Except I haue hir to my Wife, I shall runne madde.
M. Mery.Nay vnwise perhaps, but I warrant you for madde.
R. Royster.I am vtterly dead vnlesse I haue my desire.
M. Mery.Where be the bellowes that blewe this sodeine fire?
R. Royster.I heare she is worthe a thousande pounde and more.
M. Mery.Yea, but learne this one lesson of me afore,An hundred pounde of Marriage money doubtlesse,Is euer thirtie pounde sterlyng, or somewhat lesse,So that hir Thousande pounde yf she be thriftie,Is muche neere about two hundred and fiftie,Howebeit wowers and Widowes are neuer poore.
M. Mery.Yea, but learne this one lesson of me afore,
An hundred pounde of Marriage money doubtlesse,
Is euer thirtie pounde sterlyng, or somewhat lesse,
So that hir Thousande pounde yf she be thriftie,
Is muche neere about two hundred and fiftie,
Howebeit wowers and Widowes are neuer poore.
R. Royster.Is she a Widowe? I loue hir better therefore.
M. Mery.But I heare she hath made promise to another.
R. Royster.He shall goe without hir, and he were my brother.
M. Mery.I haue hearde say, I am right well aduised,That she hath to Gawyn Goodlucke promised.
M. Mery.I haue hearde say, I am right well aduised,
That she hath to Gawyn Goodlucke promised.
R. Royster.What is that Gawyn Goodlucke?
M. Mery.aMerchant man.
R. Royster.Shall he speede afore me? nay sir by sweete Sainct Anne.Ah sir, Backare quod Mortimer to his sowe,I wyll haue hir myne owne selfe I make God a vow.For I tell thee, she is worthe a thousande pounde.
R. Royster.Shall he speede afore me? nay sir by sweete Sainct Anne.
Ah sir, Backare quod Mortimer to his sowe,
I wyll haue hir myne owne selfe I make God a vow.
For I tell thee, she is worthe a thousande pounde.
M. Mery.Yet a fitter wife for your maship might be founde:Suche a goodly man as you, might get one wyth lande,Besides poundes of golde a thousande and a thousande,And a thousande, and a thousande, and a thousande,And so to the summe of twentie hundred thousande,Your most goodly personage is worthie of no lesse.
M. Mery.Yet a fitter wife for your maship might be founde:
Suche a goodly man as you, might get one wyth lande,
Besides poundes of golde a thousande and a thousande,
And a thousande, and a thousande, and a thousande,
And so to the summe of twentie hundred thousande,
Your most goodly personage is worthie of no lesse.
R. Royster.I am sorie God made me so comely doubtlesse.For that maketh me eche where so highly fauoured,And all women on me so enamoured.
R. Royster.I am sorie God made me so comely doubtlesse.
For that maketh me eche where so highly fauoured,
And all women on me so enamoured.
M. Mery.Enamoured quod you? haue ye spied out that?Ah sir, mary nowe I see you know what is what.Enamoured ka? mary sir say that againe,But I thought not ye had marked it so plaine.
M. Mery.Enamoured quod you? haue ye spied out that?
Ah sir, mary nowe I see you know what is what.
Enamoured ka? mary sir say that againe,
But I thought not ye had marked it so plaine.
R. Royster.Yes, eche where they gaze all vpon me and stare.
M. Mery.Yea malkyn, I warrant you as muche as they dare.And ye will not beleue what they say in the streete,When your mashyp passeth by all such as I meete,That sometimes I can scarce finde what aunswere to make.Who is this (sayth one) sirLauncelot du lake?Who is this, greateGuyof Warwike, sayth an other?No (say I) it is the thirtenthHerculesbrother.Who is this? nobleHectorofTroy, sayth the thirde?No, but of the same nest (say I) it is a birde.Who is this? greateGoliah,Sampson, orColbrande?No (say I) but it is a brute of the Alie lande.Who is this? greateAlexander? orCharle le Maigne?No, it is the tenth Worthie, say I to them agayne:I knowe not if I sayd well.
M. Mery.Yea malkyn, I warrant you as muche as they dare.
And ye will not beleue what they say in the streete,
When your mashyp passeth by all such as I meete,
That sometimes I can scarce finde what aunswere to make.
Who is this (sayth one) sirLauncelot du lake?
Who is this, greateGuyof Warwike, sayth an other?
No (say I) it is the thirtenthHerculesbrother.
Who is this? nobleHectorofTroy, sayth the thirde?
No, but of the same nest (say I) it is a birde.
Who is this? greateGoliah,Sampson, orColbrande?
No (say I) but it is a brute of the Alie lande.
Who is this? greateAlexander? orCharle le Maigne?
No, it is the tenth Worthie, say I to them agayne:
I knowe not if I sayd well.
R. Royster.Yes for so I am.
M. Mery.Yea, for there were but nine worthies before ye came.To some others, the thirdeCatoI doe you call.And so as well as I can I aunswere them all.Sir I pray you, what lorde or great gentleman is this?Maister Ralph Roister Doister dame say I, ywis.O Lorde (sayth she than) what a goodly man it is,Woulde Christ I had such a husbande as he is.O Lorde (say some) that the sight of his face we lacke:It is inough for you (say I) to see his backe.His face is for ladies of high and noble parages.With whome he hardly scapeth great mariages.With muche more than this, and much otherwise.
M. Mery.Yea, for there were but nine worthies before ye came.
To some others, the thirdeCatoI doe you call.
And so as well as I can I aunswere them all.
Sir I pray you, what lorde or great gentleman is this?
Maister Ralph Roister Doister dame say I, ywis.
O Lorde (sayth she than) what a goodly man it is,
Woulde Christ I had such a husbande as he is.
O Lorde (say some) that the sight of his face we lacke:
It is inough for you (say I) to see his backe.
His face is for ladies of high and noble parages.
With whome he hardly scapeth great mariages.
With muche more than this, and much otherwise.
R. Royster.I can thee thanke that thou canst suche answeres deuise:But I perceyue thou doste me throughly knowe.
R. Royster.I can thee thanke that thou canst suche answeres deuise:
But I perceyue thou doste me throughly knowe.
M. Mery.I marke your maners for myne owne learnyng I trowe,But suche is your beautie, and suche are your actes,Suche is your personage, and suche are your factes,That all women faire and fowle, more and lesse,That eye you, they lubbe you, they talke of you doubtlesse,Your p[l]easant looke maketh them all merie,Ye passe not by, but they laugh till they be werie,Yea and money coulde I haue the truthe to tell,Of many, to bryng you that way where they dwell.
M. Mery.I marke your maners for myne owne learnyng I trowe,
But suche is your beautie, and suche are your actes,
Suche is your personage, and suche are your factes,
That all women faire and fowle, more and lesse,
That eye you, they lubbe you, they talke of you doubtlesse,
Your p[l]easant looke maketh them all merie,
Ye passe not by, but they laugh till they be werie,
Yea and money coulde I haue the truthe to tell,
Of many, to bryng you that way where they dwell.
R. Royster.Merygreeke for this thy reporting well of mee:
M. Mery.What shoulde I else sir, it is my duetie pardee:
R. Royster.I promise thou shalt not lacke, while I haue a grote.
M. Mery.Faith sir, and I nere had more nede of a newe cote.
R. Royster.Thou shalte haue one to morowe, and golde for to spende.
M. Mery.Then I trust to bring the day to a good ende.For as for mine owne parte hauing money inowe,I could lyue onely with the remembrance of you.But nowe to your Widowe whome you loue so hotte.
M. Mery.Then I trust to bring the day to a good ende.
For as for mine owne parte hauing money inowe,
I could lyue onely with the remembrance of you.
But nowe to your Widowe whome you loue so hotte.
R. Royster.By cocke thou sayest truthe, I had almost forgotte.
M. Mery.What if Christian Custance will not haue you what?
R. Royster.Haue me? yes I warrant you, neuer doubt of that,I knowe she loueth me, but she dare not speake.
R. Royster.Haue me? yes I warrant you, neuer doubt of that,
I knowe she loueth me, but she dare not speake.
M. Mery.In deede meete it were some body should it breake.
R. Royster.She looked on me twentie tymes yesternight,And laughed so.
R. Royster.She looked on me twentie tymes yesternight,
And laughed so.
M. Mery.That she coulde not sitte vpright,
R. Royster.No faith coulde she not.
M. Mery.No euen such a thing I cast.
R. Royster.But for wowyng thou knowest women are shamefast.But and she knewe my minde, I knowe she would be glad,And thinke it the best chaunce that euer she had.
R. Royster.But for wowyng thou knowest women are shamefast.
But and she knewe my minde, I knowe she would be glad,
And thinke it the best chaunce that euer she had.
M. Mery.Too hir then like a man, and be bolde forth to starte,Wowers neuer speede well, that haue a false harte.
M. Mery.Too hir then like a man, and be bolde forth to starte,
Wowers neuer speede well, that haue a false harte.
R. Royster.What may I best doe?
M. Mery.Sir remaine ye a while,Ere long one or other of hir house will appere.Ye knowe my minde.
M. Mery.Sir remaine ye a while,
Ere long one or other of hir house will appere.
Ye knowe my minde.
R. Royster.Yea now hardly lette me alone.
M. Mery.In the meane time sir, if you please, I wyll home,And call your Musitians, for in this your caseIt would sette you forth, and all your wowyng grace,Ye may not lacke your instrumentes to play and sing.
M. Mery.In the meane time sir, if you please, I wyll home,
And call your Musitians, for in this your case
It would sette you forth, and all your wowyng grace,
Ye may not lacke your instrumentes to play and sing.
R. Royster.Thou knowest I can doe that.
M. Mery.As well as any thing.Shall I go call your folkes, that ye may shewe a cast?
M. Mery.As well as any thing.
Shall I go call your folkes, that ye may shewe a cast?
R. Royster.Yea runne I beseeche thee in all possible haste.
M. Mery.I goe.Exeat.
R. Royster.Yea for I loue singyng out of measure,It comforteth my spirites and doth me great pleasure.But who commeth forth yond from my swete hearte Custance?My matter frameth well, thys is a luckie chaunce.
R. Royster.Yea for I loue singyng out of measure,
It comforteth my spirites and doth me great pleasure.
But who commeth forth yond from my swete hearte Custance?
My matter frameth well, thys is a luckie chaunce.
Actus. j. Scæna. iij.
Mage Mumble crust,spinning on the distaffe.Tibet Talk apace,sowyng.Annot Alyfaceknittyng.R. Roister.
M. Mumbl.I (If)F thys distaffe were spoonne Margerie Mumblecrust.
M. Mumbl.
I (If)
F thys distaffe were spoonne Margerie Mumblecrust.
Tib Talk.Where good stale ale is will drinke no water I trust.
M. Mumbl.Dame Custance hath promised vs good ale and white bread.
Tib Talk.If she kepe not promise, I will beshrewe her head:But it will be starke nyght before I shall haue done.
Tib Talk.If she kepe not promise, I will beshrewe her head:
But it will be starke nyght before I shall haue done.
R. Royster.I will stande here a while, and talke with them anon,I heare them speake of Custance, which doth my heart good,To heare hir name spoken doth euen comfort my blood.
R. Royster.I will stande here a while, and talke with them anon,
I heare them speake of Custance, which doth my heart good,
To heare hir name spoken doth euen comfort my blood.
M. Mumbl.Sit downe to your worke Tibet like a good girle.
Tib. Talk.Nourse medle you with your spyndle and your whirle,No haste but good, Madge Mumblecrust, for whip and whurreThe olde prouerbe doth say, neuer made good furre.
Tib. Talk.Nourse medle you with your spyndle and your whirle,
No haste but good, Madge Mumblecrust, for whip and whurre
The olde prouerbe doth say, neuer made good furre.
M. Mumbl.Well, ye wyll sitte downe to your worke anon, I trust.
Tib. Talk.Soft fire maketh sweete malte, good Madge Mumblecrust.
M. Mumbl.And sweete malte maketh ioly good ale for the nones.
Tib. Talk.Whiche will slide downe the lane without any bones.Cantet.
Olde browne bread crustes must haue much good mumblyng,But good ale downe your throte hath good easie tumbling.
Olde browne bread crustes must haue much good mumblyng,
But good ale downe your throte hath good easie tumbling.
R. Royster.The iolyest wenche that ere I hearde, little mouse,May I not reioyce that she shall dwell in my house?
R. Royster.The iolyest wenche that ere I hearde, little mouse,
May I not reioyce that she shall dwell in my house?
Tib. Talk.So sirrha, nowe this geare beginneth for to frame.
M. Mumbl.Thanks to God, though your work stand stil, your tong is not lame
Tib. Talk.And though your teeth be gone, both so sharpe and so fineYet your tongue can renne on patins as well as mine.
Tib. Talk.And though your teeth be gone, both so sharpe and so fine
Yet your tongue can renne on patins as well as mine.
M. Mumbl.Ye were not for nought named Tyb Talke apace.
Tib. Talk.Doth my talke grieue you? Alack, God saue your grace.
M. Mumbl.I holde a grote ye will drinke anon for this geare.
Tib. Talk.And I wyll pray you the stripes for me to beare.
M. Mumbl.I holde a penny, ye will drink without a cup.
Tib. Talk.Wherein so ere ye drinke, I wote ye drinke all vp.
An. Alyface.By Cock and well sowed, my good Tibet Talke apace.
Tib. Talk.And een as well knitte my nowne Annot Alyface.
R. Royster.See what a sort she kepeth that must be my wife.Shall not I when I haue hir, leade a merrie life?
R. Royster.See what a sort she kepeth that must be my wife.
Shall not I when I haue hir, leade a merrie life?
Tib. Talk.Welcome my good wenche, and sitte here by me iust.
An. Alyface.And howe doth our old beldame here, Mage Mumblecrust?
Tib. Talk.Chyde, and finde faultes, and threaten to complaine.
An. Alyface.To make vs poore girles shent to hir is small gaine.
M. Mumbl.I dyd neyther chyde, nor complaine, nor threaten.
R. Royster.It woulde grieue my heart to see one of them beaten.
M. Mumbl.I dyd nothyng but byd hir worke and holde hir peace.
Tib. Talk.So would I, if you coulde your clattering ceasse:But the deuill can not make olde trotte holde hir tong.
Tib. Talk.So would I, if you coulde your clattering ceasse:
But the deuill can not make olde trotte holde hir tong.
An. Alyface.Let all these matters passe, and we three sing a song,So shall we pleasantly bothe the tyme beguile now,And eke dispatche all our workes ere we can tell how.
An. Alyface.Let all these matters passe, and we three sing a song,
So shall we pleasantly bothe the tyme beguile now,
And eke dispatche all our workes ere we can tell how.
Tib. Talk.I shrew them that say nay, and that shall not be I.
M. Mumbl.And I am well content.
Tib. Talk.Sing on then by and by.
R. Royster.And I will not away, but listen to their song,Yet Merygreeke and my folkes tary very long.
R. Royster.And I will not away, but listen to their song,
Yet Merygreeke and my folkes tary very long.
Tib,An, andMargerie, doe singe here.
Pipe mery Annot. etc.Trilla, Trilla. Trillarie.Worke Tibet, worke Annot, worke Margerie.Sewe Tibet, knitte Annot, spinne Margerie.Let vs see who shall winne the victorie.
Pipe mery Annot. etc.
Trilla, Trilla. Trillarie.
Worke Tibet, worke Annot, worke Margerie.
Sewe Tibet, knitte Annot, spinne Margerie.
Let vs see who shall winne the victorie.
Tib. Talk.This sleue is not willyng to be sewed I trowe,A small thing might make me all in the grounde to throwe.
Tib. Talk.This sleue is not willyng to be sewed I trowe,
A small thing might make me all in the grounde to throwe.
Then they sing agayne.
Pipe merrie Annot. etc.Trilla. Trilla. Trillarie.What Tibet, what Annot, what Margerie.Ye sleepe, but we doe not, that shall we trie.Your fingers be nombde, our worke will not lie.
Pipe merrie Annot. etc.
Trilla. Trilla. Trillarie.
What Tibet, what Annot, what Margerie.
Ye sleepe, but we doe not, that shall we trie.
Your fingers be nombde, our worke will not lie.
Tib. Talk.If ye doe so againe, well I would aduise you nay.In good sooth one stoppe more, and I make holy day.
Tib. Talk.If ye doe so againe, well I would aduise you nay.
In good sooth one stoppe more, and I make holy day.
They singe the thirde tyme.
Pipe Mery Annot. etc.Trilla. Trilla. Trillarie.Nowe Tibbet, now Annot, nowe Margerie.Nowe whippet apace for the maystrie,But it will not be, our mouth is so drie.
Pipe Mery Annot. etc.
Trilla. Trilla. Trillarie.
Nowe Tibbet, now Annot, nowe Margerie.
Nowe whippet apace for the maystrie,
But it will not be, our mouth is so drie.
Tib. Talk.Ah, eche finger is a thombe to day me thinke,I care not to let all alone, choose it swimme or sinke.
Tib. Talk.Ah, eche finger is a thombe to day me thinke,
I care not to let all alone, choose it swimme or sinke.
They sing the fourth tyme.
Pipe Mery Annot. etc.Trilla. Trilla. Trillarie.When Tibet, when Annot, when Margerie.I will not, I can not, no more can I.Lette hir caste downe hir vvorke.Then giue we all ouer, and there let it lye.
Pipe Mery Annot. etc.
Trilla. Trilla. Trillarie.
When Tibet, when Annot, when Margerie.
I will not, I can not, no more can I.Lette hir caste downe hir vvorke.
Then giue we all ouer, and there let it lye.
Tib. Talk.There it lieth, the worste is but a curried cote,Tut I am vsed therto, I care not a grote.
Tib. Talk.There it lieth, the worste is but a curried cote,
Tut I am vsed therto, I care not a grote.
An. Alyface.Haue we done singyng since? then will I in againe,Here I founde you, and here I leaue both twaine.Exeat.
An. Alyface.Haue we done singyng since? then will I in againe,
Here I founde you, and here I leaue both twaine.Exeat.
M. Mumbl.And I will not be long after: Tib Talke apace.
Tib. Talk.What is ye matter?
M. Mumb.Yond stode a man al this spaceAnd hath hearde all that euer we spake togyther.
M. Mumb.Yond stode a man al this space
And hath hearde all that euer we spake togyther.
Tib. Talk.Mary the more loute he for his comming hither.And the lesse good he can to listen maidens talke.I care not and I go byd him hence for to walke:It were well done to knowe what he maketh here away.
Tib. Talk.Mary the more loute he for his comming hither.
And the lesse good he can to listen maidens talke.
I care not and I go byd him hence for to walke:
It were well done to knowe what he maketh here away.
R. Royster.Nowe myght I speake to them, if I wist what to say.
M. Mumbl.Nay we will go both off, and see what he is.
R. Royster.One that hath hearde all your talke and singyng ywis.
Tib. Talk.The more to blame you, a good thriftie husbandeWoulde elsewhere haue had some better matters in hande.
Tib. Talk.The more to blame you, a good thriftie husbande
Woulde elsewhere haue had some better matters in hande.
R. Royster.I dyd it for no harme, but for good loue I beare,To your dame mistresse Custance, I did your talke heare.And Mistresse nource I will kisse you for acquaintance.
R. Royster.I dyd it for no harme, but for good loue I beare,
To your dame mistresse Custance, I did your talke heare.
And Mistresse nource I will kisse you for acquaintance.
M. Mumbl.I come anon sir.
Tib. Talk.Faith I would our dame CustanceSawe this geare.
Tib. Talk.Faith I would our dame Custance
Sawe this geare.
M. Mumbl.I must first wipe al cleane, yea I must.
Tib. Talk.Ill chieue it dotyng foole, but it must be cust.
M. Mumbl.God yelde you sir, chad not so much ichotte not whan,Nere since chwas bore chwine, of such a gay gentleman.
M. Mumbl.God yelde you sir, chad not so much ichotte not whan,
Nere since chwas bore chwine, of such a gay gentleman.
R. Royster.I will kisse you too mayden for the good will I beare you.
Tib. Talk.No forsoth, by your leaue ye shall not kisse me.
R. Royster.Yes be not afearde, I doe not disdayne you a whit.
Tib. Talk.Why shoulde I feare you? I haue not so little wit,Ye are but a man I knowe very well.
Tib. Talk.Why shoulde I feare you? I haue not so little wit,
Ye are but a man I knowe very well.
R. Royster.Why then?
Tib. Talk.Forsooth for I wyll not, I vse not to kisse men.
R. Royster.I would faine kisse you too good maiden, if I myght.
Tib. Talk.What shold that neede?
R. Royster.But to honor you by this light.I vse to kisse all them that I loue to God I vowe.
R. Royster.But to honor you by this light.
I vse to kisse all them that I loue to God I vowe.
Tib. Talk.Yea sir? I pray you when dyd ye last kisse your cowe.
R. Royster.Ye might be proude to kisse me, if ye were wise.
Tib. Talk.What promotion were therein?
R. Royster.Nourse is not so nice.
Tib. Talk.Well I haue not bene taught to kissing and licking.
R. Royster.Yet I thanke you mistresse Nourse, ye made no sticking.
M. Mumbl.I will not sticke for a kosse with such a man as you.
Tib. Talk.They that lust: I will againe to my sewyng now.
An. Alyfac[e].Tidings hough, tidings, dame Custance greeteth you well.
R. Royster.Whome me?
An. Alyface.You sir? no sir? I do no suche tale tell.
R. Royster.But and she knewe me here.
An. Alyface.Tybet Talke apace,Your mistresse Custance and mine, must speake with your grace.
An. Alyface.Tybet Talke apace,
Your mistresse Custance and mine, must speake with your grace.
Tib. Talk.With me?
An. Alyface.Ye muste come in to hir out of all doutes.
Tib. Talk.And my work not half done? A mischief on all loutes.Ex. am.
R. Royster.Ah good sweet nourse.
M. Mumb.A good sweete gentleman.
R. Royster.What?
M. Mumbl.Nay I can not tel sir, but what thing would you?
R. Royster.Howe dothe sweete Custance, my heart of gold, tell me how?
M. Mumbl.She dothe very well sir, and commaunde me to you.
R. Royster.To me?
M. Mumbl.Yea to you sir.
R. Royster.To me? nurse tel me plainTo me?
R. Royster.To me? nurse tel me plain
To me?
M. Mumb.Ye.
R. Royster.That word maketh me aliue again.
M. Mumbl.She commaunde me to one last day who ere it was.
R. Royster.That was een to me and none other by the Masse.
M. Mumb.I can not tell you surely, but one it was.
R. Royster.It was I and none other: this commeth to good passe.I promise thee nourse I fauour hir.
R. Royster.It was I and none other: this commeth to good passe.
I promise thee nourse I fauour hir.
M. Mumb.Een so sir.
R. Royster.Bid hir sue to me for mariage.
M. Mumbl.Een so sir.
R. Royster.And surely for thy sake she shall speede.
M. Mumb.Een so sir.
R. Royster.I shall be contented to take hir.
M. Mumb.Een so sir.
R. Royster.But at thy request and for thy sake.
M. Mumb.Een so sir.
R. Royster.And come hearke in thine eare what to say.
M. Mumb.Here lette him tell hir a great long tale in hir eare.Een so sir.
Actus. j. Scæna. iiij.
Mathew Merygreeke.Dobinet Doughtie.Harpax.Ralph Royster.Margerie Mumblecrust.
M. Mery.C (Come)Ome on sirs apace, and quite your selues like men,Your pains shalbe rewarded.
M. Mery.
C (Come)
Ome on sirs apace, and quite your selues like men,
Your pains shalbe rewarded.
D. Dou.But I wot not when.
M. Mery.Do your maister worship as ye haue done in time past.
D. Dough.Speake to them: of mine office he shall haue a cast.
M. Mery.Harpax, looke that thou doe well too, and thy fellow.
Harpax.I warrant, if he will myne example folowe.
M. Mery.Curtsie whooresons, douke you and crouche at euery worde,
D. Dough.Yes whether our maister speake earnest or borde.
M. Mery.For this lieth vpon his preferment in deede.
D. Dough.Oft is hee a wower, but neuer doth he speede.
M. Mery.But with whome is he nowe so sadly roundyng yond?
D. Dough.WithNobs nicebecetur misereresonde.
[M.] Mery.God be at your wedding, be ye spedde alredie?I did not suppose that your loue was so greedie,I perceiue nowe ye haue chose of deuotion,And ioy haue ye ladie of your promotion.
[M.] Mery.God be at your wedding, be ye spedde alredie?
I did not suppose that your loue was so greedie,
I perceiue nowe ye haue chose of deuotion,
And ioy haue ye ladie of your promotion.
R. Royster.Tushe foole, thou art deceiued, this is not she.