On a funny-bone hike you don’t get in a rut,The best kind of leader is one that’s a nut;Just keep your feet moving and keep your mouth shut,And the shortest way home is to take a long cut.And go north,And go south;And go east,And go west;The wrong way to get there is always the best.
On a funny-bone hike you don’t get in a rut,The best kind of leader is one that’s a nut;Just keep your feet moving and keep your mouth shut,And the shortest way home is to take a long cut.And go north,And go south;And go east,And go west;The wrong way to get there is always the best.
On a funny-bone hike you don’t get in a rut,
The best kind of leader is one that’s a nut;
Just keep your feet moving and keep your mouth shut,
And the shortest way home is to take a long cut.
And go north,
And go south;
And go east,
And go west;
The wrong way to get there is always the best.
CHAPTER XXWE MAKE A PROMISE
After we were all rested, all of a sudden Hervey jumped up and started off, the rest of us after him singingFollow your leader wherever he goes. For a while he kept singing and we all kept singing. Sometimes he would go zigzag on the road and we all did the same. For a little way he held one of his legs in his hand and hopped till he fell on the ground and the rest of us fell all over him. He did all kinds of crazy things and whatever he said we said it after him. Pretty soon he turned off the turnpike into another road.
“The wrong way to get there is always the best,” he said.
“The wrong way to get there is always the best,” I said.
All of us said the same sentence. Gee whiz, it sounded crazy.
Pretty soon we met a farmer and Hervey he said, “Hey, mister, can you tell us the wrong way to the scout camp?”
I said, “Hey, mister, can you tell us the wrong way to the scout camp?”
Bert said, “Hey, mister, can you tell us the wrong way to the scout camp?”
The others said the same and the man looked at us as if he thought we were lunatics.
“You’re going the wrong way now,” he said.
“Thanks very much,” Hervey said, and off he started again.
“Maybe he’s mistaken, maybe it’s the right way and we’re going all wrong,” I said. “Suppose he misdirected us and we get somewhere?”
Bert said, “Trust to Hervey, we won’t get anywhere. He knows where he’s not going.”
“Sure, he has a fine sense of misdirection,” Garry said.
“We’ll end in Maine,” Pee-wee said, “that’s where all the maniacs belong. The nearer we get to Temple Camp the farther off it is.”
“We’ve been everywhere,But up in the air;And we haven’t done anything yet.”
“We’ve been everywhere,But up in the air;And we haven’t done anything yet.”
“We’ve been everywhere,
But up in the air;
And we haven’t done anything yet.”
Warde began singing.
All of a sudden Hervey turned around and looked very severe and held his finger to his mouth.
“Silence,” I said; “Play the game. Can’t you keep still? If you can’t keep still, keep quiet.”
So then we followed him not saying a word. It was fine to hear Pee-wee not talking.
Pretty soon we came to a place that I knew. They call it New Corners. It isn’t exactly new, it’s kind of slightly used. It’s a village. There’s a sign that says New Corners; that’s so you’ll know it’s there. It’s about as big as New York only smaller.
Hervey turned around and said, “Let’s buy some gumdrops. Intermission; you can all talk.”
We had about fourteen cents altogether and we bought some gumdrops in the post office and divided them. There was a big pole outside the barber shop that locked like a peppermint stick and we wished that we could eat that. When we started off again, Hervey held his hat out on the end of a stick (he always carries a stick that fellow does) and threw a gumdrop into his hat.
“Follow your leader,” he said.
I threw a gumdrop into my hat the same way, and he said, “No, you don’t, you’re supposed to follow your leader. Each one throw a gumdrop into my hat.”
Oh boy, you should have seen our young Animal Cracker go up in the air. He yelled, “What do you think I am?”
“Play the game!” Hervey shouted. “You’re charged with insubordination.”
“I don’t care what kind of a nation I’m charged with,” Pee-wee shouted. “If you throw it into your hat that means I have to throw it into my hat. Do you think I’m throwing away gumdrops? I’ll follow my leader, but——”
Just then Hervey threw a gumdrop into Pee-wee’s hat.
“Maybe you’re right after all,” the kid said; “you know the rules about the game——”
“Now listen,” Hervey said. “Who’s got a watch that’s right?”
“I’ve got a watch that’s right,” I said, “and it’s the only thing here that is right.”
“That’s because it goes around and around just like we do,” Hervey said; “it never gets anywhere but it keeps going. You can depend on a compass because it always points one way, but a watch keeps changing, you can’t depend on it. One minute it says one thing and another minute it says another thing. That’s what I don’t like about a watch.”
“A watch would have to go some to keep up with you,” I said.
“You couldn’t carry a watch,” Pee-wee said, “because it would fall out of your pocket. You’re upside down half the time.”
“You’re more like a speedometer,” I said. “What do you want my watch for?”
“Can’t you guess?” he said.
“What do you want his watch for?” Pee-wee shouted, his mouth all the while full of gumdrops.
“To find out what time it is,” Hervey said.
“It’s just exactly four o’clock,” I told him.
“All hold up your hands,” he said. “Have the watch hold up its hands too. We’re going to play this game right.”
He said, “Not one of us is going to speak another word till we see Temple Camp. When we see it I will be the first one to speak.”
“I’ll be the next,” Pee-wee shouted.
Hervey said, “The first one to speak before I do agrees to stand in front of the bulletin board at camp to-morrow with a sign on him saying I AM A QUITTER AND A FLUNKER, and if I speak before I see Temple Camp I’ll do the same. How about it? Do you agree?”
“Posilutely,” I said. “Silence is my favorite outdoor sport.”
“Put me down,” Warde said; “I’m playing the game.”
“I’ll be just as if I were asleep,” Garry said.
“I talk in my sleep,” Pee-wee piped up.
“Not one word till we see Temple Camp,” Hervey said; “how about it.”
“I’ll die for the cause,” Bert said.
Hervey said, “All right then;ready——”
“Wait a minute,” Pee-wee said. “Wait till I think if there’s anything I want to say before I shut up.”
“Say it and forever after hold your peace,” I said.
“What’s your last word?” Garry asked him.
“My last word is that I’m hungry,” the kid shouted.
“All right, shut up, everybody,” Hervey said, “and
“Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,But follow your leader wherever he goes.”
“Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,But follow your leader wherever he goes.”
“Don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,
Just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;
Be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,
But follow your leader wherever he goes.”
After that you couldn’t hear a sound.
CHAPTER XXIWE KEEP STILL
Now in this chapter not a single word is spoken. I bet you’ll say, “Thank goodness for that.” My sister said this will be the best chapter of the whole book because all of us keep still. I should worry about her. One thing, I’m glad on account of not having to use any quotation marks—I hate those things.
But anyway just because our tongues weren’t going that doesn’t mean our feet weren’t going. And I’ll tell you this much, something terrible is going to happen. Believe me, there are worse things than talking. Maybe it’s all right to keep still, but it got us in a lot of trouble and I’m never going to keep still again as long as I live. Pee-wee says he isn’t either. Hervey says it’s actions that count, but words are all right—I like words.
Now I don’t know whether Hervey knew where he was going or not. That fellow knows all the country for miles around Temple Camp. He made believe he was lost. He says no matter where you are you can’t really get lost because you’re some place and if you just keep going you’ll come to some place else and he says anyway one place is as good as another. So even if you’re home maybe you’re lost.
Anyway he kept going along that country road that branched off from the turnpike. It was uphill and pretty soon we came to Old Corners only there wasn’t anything left of it except an old church. I guess the rest of the village must have rolled down the hill and started up in another place.
Gee whiz, I like it up there on the hill but you never can tell what a village will do when it gets started. I was just going to say that maybe it was on a funny-bone hike only I happened to remember about keeping still. It was nice and quiet up on that hill—no wonder.
Up there were three or four old houses with nobody living in them and they were falling to pieces. The church was ramshackle, I guess it was good and old. There was grass growing between the wooden steps and there was moss all around on the stone step. All the windows were broken and there was a great big spider-web across one window. There were old shingles on the ground too, that had blown off the roof. There were initials cut in the railing of the steps. There was an old ladder standing up against the steeple.
“L-l-l——” Pee-wee started to say, and just caught himself in time.
Hervey walked straight for the ladder and up he went, with the rest of us after him. The steeple wasn’t so high but it was pretty high. The ladder stood against a little window maybe halfway up. Hervey crawled in through the window and so did the rest of us. He kept looking back holding his finger to his mouth; he looked awful funny.
In there was a kind of a little gallery around the edge and you could look down in through the middle. It smelled like dried wood in there; it smelled kind of like an attic. It was terribly hot. I saw something hanging that I thought was an old dried rag and when I grabbed it,swhh, just like that it gave me a start, and I let go pretty quick because it was a bat. We threw it out through the opening. There were a couple more there but we didn’t bother them. They looked just like rags that had been hung up wet and got dry hanging there—stiff like.
“I LET GO PRETTY QUICK BECAUSE IT WAS A BAT.”
“I LET GO PRETTY QUICK BECAUSE IT WAS A BAT.”
None of us said anything but just did what Hervey did as near as we could in a little, cramped place like that. We didn’t lean on that old wooden railing around the gallery—safety first. Down through that open space hung a rope; it went almost to the bottom. There was a floor down there; I guessed it was the vestibule of the old church.
Up above us it was quite light because there were openings on the four sides. There were a lot of beams braced all crisscross like, every which way and there was a big bell hanging from them. The rope hung down from above that bell.
We could look right up into the inside of the bell, and there was a big spider-web across it and a great big yellow spider there. The rope up there was frayed where it touched the edge of the bell when the bell swung. Hervey tried to reach out to the rope but the railing creaked and I pulled him back. If we could have talked it wouldn’t have been so bad, but it seemed kind of spooky with no one saying anything.
There was a little ladder fastened tight against the side going up to that place above. I guess nobody ever went up there except maybe to fix the bell. Hervey started up. It was hard because the ladder was tight against the wall and we didn’t have much foothold. But I wouldn’t admit he could do anything that I couldn’t do and I guess the other fellows felt the same about it.
There wasn’t any place to sit or stand up there except the beams. It was kind of like being in a tree. We perched in them the best we could. The wood was awful dry and every time we touched it with our hands we got splinters. But one thing, we could see out all over the country; we could see hills and woods and trees and fields with stone walls that looked just like lines. It was pretty hard to keep from speaking. Away, way off I saw a kind of blue strip and I knew it was the Hudson River. I was just starting to say “Some bird’s-eye view,” but I caught myself in time.
Hervey was looking down out of one of the openings and he caught my arm and pointed. I looked down on the road. It was a crooked, rocky road, but it looked all even and nice from up there. You could see it away, way off just like a fresh place made with a plane, sort of.
Going along the road was an old hay wagon with oxen and a man with a great big straw hat driving them. On the wagon, sticking away out at both ends, was a ladder. I looked straight down below and the ladder was gone from against the steeple.
I was just starting to shout after the man when Hervey clapped his hand to my mouth and with his other hand he wrote the word QUITTER on the wooden sill and put a question-mark after it. By that time we were all crowding at the opening but none of us said a word. Hervey just pointed to what he had written and looked at us. None of us called after the man. There wasn’t any sound at all except the beams creaking when we moved.
It was good and spooky up there, I know that.
CHAPTER XXIIWE HEAR A VOICE
Hervey just held up his finger to remind us, but anyway the man had gone too far to hear us.
All of a sudden Pee-wee set up a shout, “I see Temple Camp! I see Temple Camp!”
“Where?” I asked him, all excited.
“I can see the pavilion!” he shouted. “I can see the lake! Hey, mister, come back with the ladder!”
“I guess you’re right,” Hervey said; “that’s the camp, all right.”
“I discovered it! I discovered it!” Pee-wee yelled. “Hey, mister, come back with that ladder! I can see Temple Camp! Come back!”
But it wasn’t any use; the man was too far away and the breeze was the other way, and there we were and we couldn’t do anything.
“Why didn’t you shout sooner?” Pee-wee wanted to know, all excited.
“You were the one to discover the camp,” Hervey said.
“Why didn’t you shout as soon as you saw the man?” he shot back.
“Because I made a solemn vow,” Hervey said.
“Now we’re up against it,” the kid said.
“We’reup, all right,” said Warde. “Nobody can deny that.”
“How are we going to get down?” Pee-wee wanted to know. “That’s what you get for making solemn vows. Solemny vows are all right but they don’t get you any supper. I can see the smoke going up from the cooking shack. Do you see it? Away, way off there?”
I could see it all right, and oh boy, it looked good. I could see just a little dab of blue, all sparkling, and I knew it was Black Lake. I could see a speck of brown and I knew it was the pavilion. It looked as if it might be about ten miles off. All around, no matter which way we looked, were woods and mountains.
“Some panorama,” Warde said.
“You can’t eat panoramas,” the kid shouted.
“Sure you can,” I told him. “Didn’t you ever eat an orama? They fry them in pans; that’s why they call them panoramas; they’re fine.”
“Yes, and we’ll be marooned here all night too,” he piped up. “There isn’t anybody for miles around. A lot of good the view is going to do us. This is the loneliest place I ever saw, I bet it’s haunted. I bet that’s why everybody moved away.”
Bert said, “I don’t believe any ghosts would stay here, it’s too lonely. Besides, where would they buy their groceries?”
“Ghosts don’t eat,” the kid said.
“I hope you’ll never be a ghost then,” I told him.
“We’re lucky,” Hervey said. “You ought to thank me for bringing you up here. We can see just where Temple Camp is. We don’t have to depend on sign posts that change their minds and turntables that send us back to where we came from or anything. We can see Temple Camp with our own eyes. Now we know which way to go.”
“Only we can’t go there,” I said.
He said, “That doesn’t make any difference.”
“Sure it doesn’t,” I said. “As long as we know where camp is we’re not lost any more. We know where we’re at. And when we get to a place where we know where we’re at it’s a good place to stay. Deny it if you dare. I’d rather be up here and see the camp and not be able to get there than to be able to get there if we knew where it was but not to know where it was.”
“Do you call that logic?” Pee-wee yelled. “It makes it all the worse to see it.”
“Well, look the other way then,” I told him.
“There’s only one place we haven’t been to so far and that’s under the ocean,” he said.
“Don’t get discouraged, leave it to Hervey, he’ll take us there,” I said. “There’s a nice breeze up here. Watch out for an airplane, maybe we’ll be rescued.”
“Were you ever in a well?” Hervey asked us.
“No, is it much fun?” I said.
He said, “It’s too slow, quicksand is better, it’s quicker. I’d like to have a ride on a shooting star.”
“Comets are pretty good,” Garry said.
“I was never on one of those,” I said.
Pee-wee said, “The night is coming on. What are we going to do? I’m all stiff from hanging onto this beam.”
“Let’s get down on the platform again,” Hervey said. “Follow your leader.”
He scrambled over to the ladder and went down and we all followed him to the gallery below. Looking out of the little window there we could see the sun going down; it was all big and red and it made the woods all red too away over to the west. That was where Temple Camp was. It began to seem kind of spooky in that steeple on account of the sun going down and everything being so quiet. The old, ramshackle houses below us, with their roofs falling in and their windows all broken made it seem even more lonesome where we were. Gee whiz, the woods aren’t lonesome, but places where people used to be are lonesome.
All of a sudden Garry said, “Listen—shh.”
“It’s just those timbers creaking above us,” I said.
He said, “It sounded like a voice.”
“Well if it’s a voice up there where the bell is,” Warde said, “it hasn’t got any body to it. I can see all around up there; I can see inside the bell.”
Pee-wee just stared at us, “What did I tell you?” he whispered. “Voices without bodies, those are the worst kind. I’m not going to stay up here after dark, I’m——”
“Shh—listen,” Warde said.
“You mean away off there in the woods?” I said. “I hear that.”
“No, not that,” he said; “right above us. Listen. Hear it?”
“Kind of like murmuring?” I asked him.
“Right up there by the bell,” he said.
We all stood stark still, listening. Maybe that bell was thirty or forty feet above us. Just as plain as could be I could hear a sort of murmuring up there. I can’t tell you what it was like, but anyway it wasn’t the timbers creaking or anything like that. It was like a voice. But nobody was up there. It was kind of likeH-l-l-l.
Gee whiz, it gave me the shudders to listen to it.
CHAPTER XXIIIWE GO TO THE RESCUE
Oh boy, I have to admit I was scared. Even Hervey didn’t start joking about it, but just listened. Away, way off somewhere I could hear something like a voice, but it wasn’t that that we heard above us.
All of a sudden Hervey said, “I’m not going to hang around here any longer, you can bet. I don’t like this place. I don’t want to spend the night here. Come on, follow your leader, take a chance.”
Before I had a chance to grab him he had reached out across the railing into the open space and got hold of the bell rope. It was beyond his reach so he had to sort of jump for it. I guess it was his jumping and his weight both that made the rope go down, but anyway it went down enough to rock the bell sideways.
It was the creaking that made me look up, and then I saw the bell standing that way. It didn’t ring because there wasn’t any tongue in it but just as plain as could be, I could hear a voice in that bell say, “Help.” It just sent a kind of a shudder through me to hear it. Then the bell swung down again because Hervey’s weight on the rope wasn’t enough to hold it up that way. In a few seconds I could hear Hervey dropping from the end of the rope to the ground down below, and calling, “Follow your leader wherever he goes.”
But just the same none of us moved.
“Coming down?” he called. But we didn’t answer him.
“What is it?” Bert asked in a whisper.
“You heard it,” I said. “You know as much about it as I do. There’s a spook here.”
“The place is haunted,” Pee-wee whispered, all excited.
“Let’s go down,” Garry said. “I’d rather take a chance on that rope than to stay up here. Listen.”
We all listened but the voice above us didn’t call again.
“It’s a spirit in the bell, that’s what it is,” the kid said. “It’s a voice without any body to it—in the bell.”
None of us wanted to stay up there, I guess, but just the same none of us wanted to move. It just seemed as if wecouldn’tmove.
Pretty soon Warde said, “Wait a minute, let me get hold of that rope.”
He climbed over the old wooden railing and held on with one hand while he reached out with the other one. Then, all of a sudden, he was swinging on the rope and as sure as I live, just in that minute the voice above called, “Help.”
We just stood there, all trembling. Pee-wee’s eyes were starting out of his head.
All of a sudden I heard Warde call, “Wait till I get down and then come down after me. Don’t be scared. There isn’t anything in the bell, it’s some one in the woods. The bell throws the voice down when it’s pulled up sideways. It’s a reflex echo, if you know what that is. Come ahead down one at a time. You should worry about spooks.”
We didn’t hear the voice every time one of us swung off on the rope. Maybe the voice away off didn’t call just at the right time or maybe not all of us were heavy enough. But once or twice we heard it again. It sounded good and clear. Bert came down. He was the last one and he was the heaviest.
Now that’s just the way it was—the way I told you. That’s the nearest I ever came to a ghost in my life. When the bell swung up sideways it swung toward the west. Warde explained just how it was. So if you don’t believe me you can ask him. There was a voice somewhere that we could hardly hear. But when the bell swung up it caught the voiceinside itand when it swung down it threw the voice down; it kind of brought the voice down and dropped it out. And because the bell was hollow and made of metal it made the voice louder and stronger.
That’s the only way I can tell you, but it’s true and echoes like that are called reflex echoes, only I guess nobody heard of a reflex echo exactly like that before. In echoes like that you hear the echo when you can’t really hear the voice. When that bell was hanging the sound waves (that’s what you call them) struck the outside slanting part of the bell and were reflectedup. But when the bell swung it caught the sound inside it and just sort of tumbled it out on us.
So if you ever go to Old Corners you’ll see a sign on that old church that we put there and it says ECHO CHIMES. Then it tells you just exactly where to go in the woods in order to make an echo like the one that scared us so. Maybe you wonder how we found out just where to go in the woods. So that’s what I’m going to tell you in the next chapter. Because it was a real voice away off somewhere in the woods that was calling for help. The funny part of it was that we heard the reflex echo but we didn’t hear the voice. I bet you’ll say I’m smart when you read all this but, gee whiz, I guess you’d call it reflex smartness because I got it all from Warde Hollister.
CHAPTER XXIVWE DROP DEAD-ALMOST
We crossed the road and hit into the woods going straight west. We knew which way to go because it was when the bell swung up that we got the echo, and because it swung toward the setting sun.
Every little while one of us had to climb a tree to see where the sun was. Lucky for us Temple Camp was in that direction, and beside the sun we had the smoke from the cooking shack to guide us. We took turns climbing the trees.
We didn’t play Follow Your Leader because our minds were on rescuing that person who was calling for help.
“I’m glad Temple Camp is in the same direction,” Warde said, “because I’m good and hungry.”
“I’m going to eat dinner and supper all in one when we get back,” Pee-wee said.
“I could eat hardtack or upholstery tacks or carpet tacks or gilt-headed tacks, I’m so hungry,” I said.
“I’d like to have—one—big—chunk—of chocolate cake,” said Garry.
“I’d eat a cake of soap,” I said.
Pee-wee kept trudging along, not saying much; he was thinking about supper, I suppose. He was in a better humor because he knew for sure we were headed for camp. Hervey kept going ahead of us and shinning up trees till he could see the smoke at camp. Every little while we all shouted together but no voice answered.
“The breeze is the other way,” Warde said; “maybe he can hear us even though we can’t hear him. Whoever it is he’s probably lost and rattled. Let’s shout to him to stay where he is. We don’t want both parties moving around, it only doubles the work.”
So we stopped and all crowded together so as to make our voices as much like one voice as we could and shouted “Stay—where—you—are— we’re—coming.”
We listened for a few seconds and then we could hear a voice, very thin and far off. It sounded like R-i-i-i. We guessed it meant “All right.”
We cut through the woods faster after that and pretty soon we called and the voice answered, and so we didn’t have to bother any more climbing trees. We were pretty tired and hungry but I guess we all felt good.
“They’ll never believe all the adventures we had,” Pee-wee panted, “because we can’t prove them. The best way is always to bring back some proof, hey?”
“Did you expect us to bring back the turntable and the sign post and the drawbridge and a couple of West Shore trains?” I asked him.
“In my patrol you have to prove all tests,” he said.
“That’s easy,” I told him, “because no one in that patrol ever passes any tests. All they know how to pass is the eats. Some of them don’t even know enough to pass the time of day.”
“You think you’re so smart,” he said. “Which is better? Some crullers or a scout?”
“Is it a riddle?” I asked him. “Why is a raving raven like a cruller? Because he’s twisted. Ask me another. What’s that got to do with taking tests?”
“When you took Test Four for a second-class scout,” he said, “you tracked half a mile and took a scout with you. I went alone. I tracked half a mile to Johnson’s Bakery and bought ten cents’ worth of crullers for proof. A witness might lie but crullers don’t lie.”
“How many witnesses did you have in the paper bag when you got back?” Garry wanted to know.
“Every test I ever took I brought back the proof,” the kid said. “I don’t bother with witnesses, I don’t.”
I said, “Sure, when he had to tell the points of the compass he went and brought home the North Pole and the South Pole and the East Pole and the West Pole to prove it.”
“Silent witnesses are best, that’s what our patrol leader says,” the kid shouted. “That’s the way we have to do in our patrol.”
“Listen to who’s talking about silence,” I said. “Don’t make me laugh. We should have brought the reflex echo home with us to prove we were up in that steeple.”
“Maybe we’ll take the original voice home with us, that’s better, hey?” Warde said.
That reminded us to call again, and that time the voice answered good and plain.
“Sit down and take it easy, we’re coming,” Garry shouted.
Pretty soon we could see a brown hat in among the trees.
“It’s a scout,” Bert said.
“He must be a tenderfoot to be lost five or six miles from camp,” Hervey said. “All he had to do was to climb a tree.”
“I know who he is!” Pee-wee started shouting; “it’s Willie Cook. He’s the new member of my patrol. He comes from East Bridgeboro.”
“You ought to tie a cow-bell around his neck the next time you let him roam around in the woods,” Bert said.
I said, “Sure. Why don’t you make him play in the backyard? Safety first. He’s a raving Raven, all right; he’s lost and he canproveit.”
“He isn’t trusting to witnesses,” Bert said; “he’s lost and he knows it.”
I said, “That’s one thing I like about the raving Ravens; they’re always sure of themselves. When one of them gets lost he knows it.”
“You make me tired!” Pee-wee yelled. “He’s a tenderfoot. He’s going to be the best scout in my patrol——”
“That’s easy,” I said. “Maybe he isn’t the best scout in camp, I’m not saying, but he’s the best scout that’s lost in the woods. A scout is thorough. He’s some scout all right; when he gets lost he gets good and lost.” Then I shouted, “What’s the matter, Kid? Lost, strayed or stolen?”
The poor kid just stared at us and smiled as if he thought we had saved his life.
“I’m—I’m mixed up,” he said; “I started and I came back to the same place and I don’t know where I am. Are you—did you come from camp?”
I said, “No, we’re on our way there. Calm down, you’re all right. The camp is about six miles west. What are you doing here, anyway?”
“I’m—I’m doing a—a test,” he said.
Hervey Willetts just rolled on the ground and screamed. All the rest of us started to laugh except Pee-wee.
“These fellows are crazy,” the kid said; “don’t you mind them.”
“I’ve—I’ve got to cook some food,” the little fellow said, all kind of confused.
“What? Where?” I shouted.
“Lead us to it!” Bert yelled.
“What do you mean—food?” Garry said.
“I—I come first!” Pee-wee shouted, all excited. “He’s in my patrol! Where’s the food?”
“I’ve got to cook it and take it home for a proof,” the kid said.
Just then we all fell on the ground. I guess he thought we were dead.
CHAPTER XXVWE PROVE IT
When I recovered from winning the laughing badge I said, “What’s the idea, Kiddo? Did you think you could win the forestry badge by being lost in the forest?”
“Don’t listen to him, he’s crazy,” Pee-wee shouted at Willie Cook.
I said, “The next thing you’ll be trying to win the electricity badge by being struck by lightning.” Our young tenderfoot hero, Scout Cook, said, “If I can do Tests Five and Eight I’ll be a second-class scout. It’s all right if you give them good measure, isn’t it?”
I said, “Sure, but I wouldn’t give them a whole world tour for a two mile hike in these days of the high cost of hiking. Test Five says you must hike a mile and back. You must have hiked about a dozen miles. What are you going to do now?”
“Are you sure I’m a mile away from camp?” he asked me.
“Positively guaranteed,” I told him. “You’ll find out before you get back.”
“I’m going to do two tests at once,” he said.
“Boy, but you’re reckless,” Garry said. “What’s the other test?”
He said, “It’s Test Eight. I’ve got to cook this meat and these potatoes. See? And I’m going to put my initials on a tree to prove I hiked this far, and I’m going to take the food back to prove I cooked it. Because you have to prove things, don’t you?”
“Ask Scout Harris,” I said; “he’s in your patrol. He knows all about laws and food and everything.”
Gee whiz, I knew those two tests well enough—Five and Eight. One says a scout must go a mile—scout pace he’s supposed to go. The other says he must cook a quarter of a pound of meat and two potatoes without any cooking utensils. That kid had about a dozen potatoes and a couple of pounds or so of meat, ready to cook.
“Where did you get all this?” I asked him.
“I bought them at a butcher’s in Berryville and if I cook them and take them back will I be a second-class scout?”
“Positively guaranteed,” I told him. “The more you take back the more of a scout you’ll be. Ask Scout Harris.”
“They’re all crazy,” Pee-wee told him; “don’t pay any attention to them. We’ll cook the things and eat them. You’re supposed to be generous, you’re supposed to help a fellow scout. Anyway, all you need to take back is a quarter of a pound of meat and two potatoes, but you don’t even need to take that much because I’ll testify that you cooked them. All these fellows will testify.”
“Yes, but you said they’re all crazy,” Willie Cook piped up.
“A—eh—a crazy fellow can testify, can’t he?” Pee-wee shouted. “Anyway if I testify it’s enough; everybody at Temple Camp knows me. Unwrap the bundle and let’s cook the stuff; we haven’t had anything but one fish and a bite of chocolate each since breakfast——”
“Two bites,” Garry said; “and don’t forget the roast duck.”
Oh boy! Laugh? I just stood there shaking. There stood poor little Willie Cook holding his greasy bundle behind him and backing away so Pee-wee couldn’t grab it.
“Are you going to be generous and help a fellow scout or not?” he was shouting. “Don’t you know a scout is supposed to save life? You get—a—a gold medal for that. We haven’t had anything to eat——”
“Except roast duck,” I said.
“Will you keep still!” he yelled.
Willie Cook just looked at me, kind of scared, and he said, “I’m going to do what this fellow says because he’s a patrol leader. I heard a scout at camp say so.”
“Bully for you, Kid,” I said; “you just follow me and you can’t go right! Can he, Hervey?”
“Except by accident,” Hervey said.
“Sure, and we don’t have that kind of accidents,” I told the kid. “You’re right. Proof is more important than appetites. Isn’t it, Garry?”
“Will you stop your crazy nonsense and let’s cook the food?” Pee-wee screamed. “You all make me tired! Here’s a lot of food—All he needs to take back, anyway, is about one potato and a little piece of meat——”
The little fellow looked at Pee-wee and then he looked at me as if he didn’t know what to do.
I said, “If he had only hiked one mile it would have been all right to go back with one potato, but he’s been roaming all over the woods, miles and miles, and so he needs to take back more proof; he needs all the proof he has. He’s a good Raven. Come on, Kid, cook the things and put your initials here and then we’ll all go back to camp and show them the stuff. When the raving Ravens see those nice brown potatoes and that meat cooked just as if you were the chef of the Waldorf Castoria they’ll hand you the second-class badge. Won’t they, Scout Harris?”
“Do you think it’s smart getting him all mixed up?” Pee-wee just yelled. “You think you’re funny with all your crazy nonsense. Don’t you know Law Three says a scout must be prepared at all times to save life, and don’t you know we’re nearly starving? Do you think I’m going to funny-bone hike all around the Catskill Mountains just to please you and never eat anything? I’m not going to go another step till I have something to eat, I can tell you that!”
“The handbook——” I began saying.
“Do you think I can eat the handbook?” he shrieked at me. “You and your crazy talk! Come on, let’s get a fire started. I’ll see that he gets his badge all right. You leave it to me.”
“Just the same as you got us a roast duck,” I said.
“Do you deny that you’re hungry?” he yelled.
“I admit it,” I said, “but duty calls——”
Just then the poor little tenderfoot handed me his precious bundle; I guess he thought it would be in safer keeping. And in about two seconds the whole six of us were scrambling for it. And in about a half a minute we had a fire started.
I said, “Kiddo, proof is all right, but the proof of the pudding is in the eating. Pee-wee is right and I’m wrong as he usually is. If the testimony of five scouts and a half isn’t enough to prove what you did all the meat in the Chicago stock markets wouldn’t do it. Don’t worry, leave it to us; you’ll get the second-class badge all right. Testifying on merit and class tests is our middle name. There’s only one thing we do better than that, and that is eat. And we’re ready to give you the PROOF, hey, Hervey?”
“That’s us,” Hervey said. “I just thought up a new way to get lost on the way back. If we don’t look out we’ll bunk into Temple Camp.” That poor little tenderfoot looked from one to the other of us as if he thought we sure were crazy. I guess he was right. We should worry.