“As I went down with lightnin’ speed I had’nt time to think much.” (See page 258)
“As I went down with lightnin’ speed I had’nt time to think much.” (See page 258)
As I passed on I see a hull lot of long ropes danglin’ down. On top of ’em wuz a trolley, and folks would hang onto the handle and slide hundreds of feet through the air. But I didn’t venter. Disinclination and rumatiz both made me waive off overtures to try it.260
Pretty soon I come to a huge turn-table, big as our barn floor. It wuz still and harmless lookin’ when I first see it, and a lot of folks got onto it, thinkin’ I spoze it looked so shiny and good they’d like to patronize it. But pretty soon it begun to move, and then to turn faster and faster till the folks couldn’t keep their seats and one by one they wuz throwed off, and went down through a hole in the floor I know not where.
As I see ’em disappear one by one in the depths below, thinks I, is that where Josiah Allen has disappeared to? Who knows but he is moulderin’ in some underground dungeon, mournin’ and pinin’ for me and his native land. Of course Reason told me that he couldn’t moulder much in two days, but I wuz too much wrought up to listen to Reason, and as I see ’em slide down and disappear, onbeknown to myself I spoke out loud and sez:
“Can it be that Josiah is incarcerated in some dungeon below? If he is, I will find and release him or perish with him.”
A woman who looked as if she belonged there, hearn me and sez, “Who is Josiah?” “My pardner,” sez I, and I continued, “You have a kind face, mom; have you seen him? Have you seen Josiah Allen?”
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“Pretty soon it begun to move and one by one they wuz throwed off and went down I know not where.” (See page 260)
“Pretty soon it begun to move and one by one they wuz throwed off and went down I know not where.” (See page 260)
262
“Describe him,” sez she, “there wuz a man here just now hunting for some woman.”
“Oh, he is very beautiful!”
“Young?” sez she.
“Well, no; about my age or a little older.”
“Light complexion? Dark hair and eyes? Stylish dressed?”
“No, wrinkled complexion, bald, and what few hairs he’s got, gray.”
She smiled; she couldn’t see the beauty Love had gilded his image with.
Sez I, “If he’s incarcerated in some dungeon below, I too will mount the turn-table of torture, and share his fate or perish on the turn table.”
Sez she, “There is no dungeons below; the folks come out into a vast place as big as this. There is just as much to see down there as there is here, just as many people and just as much amusement.”
“Amusement!” sez I in a holler voice.
After I left her, I see a whisk broom hangin’ up in a handy place, and it had a printed liebill on it, “This whisk broom free.” And as my parmetty dress had got kinder dusty a slidin’ and wobblin’ as I had slode and wobbled, I went to brush off my skirt with it, when all263of a sudden somebody or sunthin’ gin me a stunnin’ blow right in my arm that held the brush. I dropped it without waitin’ to argy the matter, and I don’t know to this day who or what struck me and what it wuz for. But my conscience wuz clear; I hadn’t done nothin’.
I santered on and entered an enclosure seemin’ly made of innocent lookin’ fence rails. I wuz kinder attracted to it, for it looked some like the rail fence round our gooseberry bushes. But for the lands sake! it wuzn’t like any fence in Jonesville or Zoar, for though it looked innocent, it shet me in tight and I couldn’t git out.
I wandered round and round, and out and in, and it wuz a good half hour before I got out, and I d’no but I’d have been there to this day, if a man hadn’t come and opened a gate and let me out. Only one thought kep’ up my courage in my fruitless wanderings. It wuz all done in plain sight of everybody, and I could see for myself that Josiah wuzn’t kep’ there in captivity.
There wuz a tall pole in the middle of the Amaze, as they call it (well named, for it is truly amazin’), and the liebill on that pole read,264“Climb the pole and ring the bell on it, and we will give you a prize.”
I didn’t try to climb that pole, and wouldn’t if I had been a athleet. How did I know but it would turn into a writhin’ serpent, and writhe with me? No, I thought I wouldn’t take another resk in that dredful spot. And I wuz glad I thought so, for jest a little ways off, some honest, easy lookin’ benches stood invitin’ the weary passer-by to set down and rest and recooperate. And right there before my eyes some good lookin’ folks sot down on ’em trustin’ly, and the hull bench fell over back with ’em and then riz up agin, they fallin’ and risin’ with it.
I hastened away and thought I would go up into the second story agin and mebby ketch sight of my pardner, for the crowd had increased. And as I stood there skannin’ the immense crowd below to try to ketch a glimpse of my lawful pardner, all to once I see the folks below wuz laughin’ at me. I felt to see if my braize veil hung down straight and graceful, and my front hair wuz all right, and my cameo pin fastened. But nothin’ wuz amiss, and I wondered what could it be. The balcony wuz divided off into little spaces, five or six feet square, and I265stood in one, innocent as a lamb (or mebby it would be more appropriate to say a sheep), and leanin’ on the railin’, and one sassy boy called out:
“Where wuz you ketched? Are you tame? Wuz you ketched on the Desert of Sara? Did Teddy ketch you for the Government?” and I never knowed till I got down what they wuz laughin’ at.
The little boxes in the balcony wuz painted on the outside to represent animal cages. On the one where I had been wuz painted the sign Drumedary. Josiah Allen’s wife took for a drumedary—The idee!
But the view I got of the crowd below wuz impressive, and though it seemed to me that everybody in New York and Brooklyn and the adjacent villages and country, wuz all there a Steeple Chasin’, yet I knowed there wuz jest as many dreamin’ in Dreamland and bein’ luny in Luny Park. And Surf Avenue wuz full, and what they called the Bowery of Coney Island, and all the amusement places along the shore. And all on ’em on the move, jostlin’ and bein’ jostled, foolin’ and bein’ fooled, laughin’ and bein’ laughed at.
Why, I wuz told and believe, that sometimes266a million folks go to Coney Island on a holiday. And I wuz knowin’ myself to over three thousand orphan children goin’ there at one time to spend a happy day, the treat bein’ gin ’em by some big-hearted men. Plenty to eat and drink, and a hull day of enjoyment, candy, pop corn, circus, etc., bright day, happy hearts, how that day will stand out aginst the dull gray background of their lives! And them men ort to hug themselves thinkin’ the thought, over three thousand happinesses wuz set down to their credit in the books of the Recordin’ Angel. And I sez to myself, “Samantha, you ort to speak well of anything that so brightens the lives of the children of the great city.”
As I went into Dreamland Park, it seemed agin as if all the folks in the city wuz there in the immense inner court, surrounded by amusements on every side. They wuz comin’ and goin’, talkin’, laughin’, hurryin’, santerin’, to and fro, fro and to. Lots on ’em talkin’ language I never hearn before, but I thought, poor things, you never had the advantage of livin’ in Jonesville, so I overlooked it in ’em.
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“As I went into Dreamland it seemed as if all the folks in the city was there.” (See page 266)
“As I went into Dreamland it seemed as if all the folks in the city was there.” (See page 266)
268
I see most the first thing as I entered, a place called Creation, and feelin’ dubersome that any thing more could be created than what I’d seen that day, I bought a ticket and went in, and to my glad surprise, I found it wuz some like a prayer meetin’. For a man with a loud preachin’ voice quoted a lot of Scripter most the first thing. After we all got seated it turned dark as pitch all in a minute. But you could dimly see a vast waste of water, kinder movin’ and swashin’ to and fro, as if some great force wuz workin’ down below. And out of the darkness we hearn that Voice:
“In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth, and the Earth wuz without form and void, and darkness wuz on the face of the deep.”
Anon the fiery energy that wuz makin’ a planet, wuz hearn in deafenin’ peals of thunder, and blazed through the sky in sheets of lightnin’ and dartin’ balls of flame, quietin’ down some after awhile. And the Voice continued:
“The spirit of God moved on the face of the deep. And God said, Let there be light; and there wuz light.”
And slowly a faint light dawned and growed brighter and brighter and fleecy clouds appeared. The sky growed golden and rosy in the east, and the sun come up in splendor. Livin’ forms appeared in the water, monsters of all kinds269and sizes, queerer than any dog I ever see, and the Voice went on:
“And God separated the water from the land.” Little peaks of land emerged from the water or it seemed as if the water receeded from them, and gradually the dry land appeared, and soon queer livin’ forms appeared on it. And gradually, with green grass and verdure, it become fit for the home of man, and then Adam and Eve appeared. They wuzn’t clothed in much besides innocence, but somehow they didn’t look so immodest as some of the fashonably dressed females of to-day, with dekolitay and peek-a-boo waists, and skin-tight drapery.
There wuz good Bible talk and sacred music all through the show. And I felt as if I had looked on and seen a world made right before my eyes, and that I would dearly love to make a few myself if I had time, and Josiah wuz willin’. I wuz highly delighted with it and said as much to the female who sot next to me. She had a discontented, onhappy face, and I guess she had enough to make her so, for her husband who sot by her kep’ findin’ fault with her all the time, till at last she turned—for you know a angle worm will turn if it is trod on enough—and she sez to me, but meant it for her pardner I knowed:270
“The lecturer ort to gone on and told how sneakin’ mean Adam treated his wife, eatin’ the apple, I’ll bet down to the very core, and then misusin’ her for givin’ it to him, and puttin’ all the blame on her for bringin’ sin into the world, when he wuz jest as much to blame as she wuz.”
Sez her husband, “You have to slur men all the time, don’t you? You can’t see or hear anything without findin’ sunthin’ to complain of about men. I despise such a sperit; men don’t have it.”
Now, I love justice, and I hate to see my sect imposed upon, and then whenever or wherever I travel, I always bear with me the honorary title I won honorably. Jest as men take with ’em on sea or land their titles of B. A. or D. D., just so I ever carry the title, won by high minded and strenous effort, Josiah Allen’s wife, P. A. and P. I.—Public Adviser and Private Investigator. Here, I thought, is need for a P. A. So I sez to her, yet in a voice her pardner couldn’t help hearin’:
“I hearn once of a husbands’ meetin’ in a revival, when the minister asked every man to git up who had complaints to make about his wife. Every man sprung to his feet to once, except one lone man by the door. And the271minister sez, ‘My friend, you are one man in a million who have no complaints to make about your wife.’ The man sez, ‘That hain’t it; I’m paralyzed, I can’tgitup.’”
I d’no as the husband I aimed this at took it kind or not, but he didn’t nag his wife any more in my hearin’.
CHAPTER SEVENTEENIn Which I Continue My Search for Josiah Through Dreamland, Huntin’ for Him in Vain, and Return to Bildad’s at Night, Weary and Despairin’
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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
IN WHICH I CONTINUE MY SEARCH FOR JOSIAH THROUGH DREAMLAND, HUNTIN’ FOR HIM IN VAIN, AND RETURN TO BILDAD’S AT NIGHT, WEARY AND DESPAIRIN’
Creation wuz such a good show I felt considerable rested and refreshed when it wuz over. And I thought the woman looked quite a little perter; it duz down-trod folks lots of good to have somebody take their part. I felt kinder good to think I had lightened a sister female’s sperit a little, and wuz walkin’ along quite comfortable in mind when like an arrow out of a bo, the old pain and anxiety stabbed me afresh. Another hour gone and Josiah Allen not found! What shall I do? Where shall I turn the eyes of my spectacles? Jest as I wuz askin’ this question to my troubled soul I hearn a boy speak to another one about a futur’ state of punishment in sich a vulgar and familiar way that I turned round to once, carryin’ out my roll of Promisicous Adviser, and I276sez, “You wicked boys you, to talk so light of your future states, I wonder you dast! If I wuz your mother and had had your bringin’ up, you wouldn’t dast!”
They looked real impudent at me, and one on ’em sez, “You hain’t the money to go with, that’s what ails you.”
I sez solemnly, “Riches is a snare. I know how hard it is for the eye of a needle to have a camel git through it; I know how the rich man longed for a drop of water. And you’d better meditate on these things and try to git used to heat, instead of talkin’ light about ’em!” I don’t know how much longer I should have gone on as a P. A. and P. I. but the woman I had befriended stepped up and sez, “He means the show there.” And lookin’ up, if you’ll believe it, I see the words “Hell Gate,” and sez she, “I have got two tickets and my husband don’t care about goin’, won’t you go with me?”
I thought to myself, he probably thinks he’ll have chances to sample it in the futur, but mebby he wuz jest sulky. But I only sez to her, “It is the last place I ever laid out to go unless I wuz obleeged to. But lead on,” sez I recklessly, “I’ll foller.” For the thought had come to me onbid, How did I know how fur277Josiah Allen had back-slided? How did I know but I’d find him there?
“We got in a small boat and wuz carried round and round till we dived into a dark tunnel.”
“We got in a small boat and wuz carried round and round till we dived into a dark tunnel.”
But to my great surprise—and I wish Elder Minkley could see it, I thought mebby it would modify his sermons some—the first thing we see wuz a great trough of water, and I said to the woman in surprise, “I never expected that folks would go to this hot place by water!”278But we got into a small boat and wuz carried round and round like a whirlpool, till the boat got in the very center, when it dived down into a dark tunnel.
At the further end we climbed out onto a platform, and found ourselves in a long, low-vaulted place, some like a immense tunnel. We could jest ketch a glimpse of a light way off at the end, and we sot off for it, I lookin’ clost and sharp on every side for my pardner, hopin’ and dreadin’ to find him there. When all of a sudden, the most terrific yells and shrieks sounded on every side and we see cages of wild animals on both sides of us movin’ up and down howlin’ and snarlin’.
Sez the woman, “They’re men dressed up as wild beasts.”
Sez I, “Have they got to stay here always? Do you spoze it is wrong doin’ that has changed ’em into wild animals?” Sez I, “Judgin’ from the papers some on ’em wouldn’t need much of a turn.” But oh, I groaned to myself, “Is Josiah Allen turned into a bear or a cammy leapord! Is he here? I don’t believe,” sez I to myself, “he has ever been bad enough to be turned into anything worse than a sheep or a rooster.” And as I didn’t hear any blattin’279or crowin’, and knowed that if he had seen me he would have tried to communicate with his beloved pardner, I felt hopeful he wuzn’t there.
We went on and as soon as we got out she asked me if I didn’t want to see the Incubator babies, and bein’ agreeable to the idee, we went and see ’em. There they lay in glass cases, pretty little creeters lookin’ like wee bits of dolls, I felt sad as I looked down on ’em, and thought on the hard journey them tiny feet must set out on from them glass boxes. What rough crosses the little fingers had got to grasp holt of, and onbeknown to me my mind fell onto the follerin’ poetry—
“Our crosses are made from different trees,But we all of us have our Calvaries;We may climb the mount from a different side,But we all go up to be crucified.”
Of course, I knowed there would be some bright posies wreathed round the crosses; but there would be thorns in them. And though the road might be soft and agreeable in spots, yet I knowed well what hard rocks there wuz in the highway of life to stub toes on, even common-sized toes, and it did seem a pity such280little mites of feet had got to git stun bruises on ’em.
Poor little creeters! I thought, little do you know what sadness and ecstacy, what grief and joy, gloom and glory lays ahead on you. I wuz sorry for ’em, sorry as a dog.
And then I didn’t like the idee of the little helpless creeters bein’ laid out on exhibition, like shirt buttons, or hooks and eyes, to be stared on by saint and sinner, by eyes tender or cruel—and voices lovin’ and hateful to comment on. I felt that the place for little babies wuz to home in the bedroom. And I thought nothin’ would tempt me, if Josiah wuz a infant babe, to place him on exhibition like Hamburg edgin’, or bobbinet lace. The very idee wuz repugnant to me. And I wuz more than willin’ when the female asked me if I didn’t want to go and see the midgets, and we went.
And you don’t know what interestin’ little creeters they wuz, mindin’ their own bizness and midgetin’ away. Actin’ out a little play jest as if a company of dolls had come to life, talkin’ and actin’. They seemed to be jest as happy and contented as if they wuz eight or ten feet high and heavy accordin’.
As we left this place the female ketched sight281of her husband. He bagoned hautily to her with one finger, and she hastened to jine him. Such is females. And so true it is that love in either sect will rise up above naggin’, or any other kind of pardner meanness.
I went forward alone to see the Head Hunters. And I looked on the brown little folks with a feelin’ of pity. How did I know they had ever had good advice? I felt here wuz a noble chance for a P. A.
So I sez to ’em, “I’ve hearn of your doin’s, and I want to advise you for your good.” They looked at me real stiddy and I went on, “You may think you hain’t so guilty because you only take folkses heads. But for the lands sakes! did you ever stop to think on’t? What can they do without their heads? Of course,” sez I reasonably, “there is a difference in heads. Some folkses heads hain’t got so much sense in ’em as others. I’ve seen ’em myself that I’ve thought a good wooden head would be jest as useful. But they are the best they’ve got, and they’re attached to ’em, and they can’t git along without ’em. And I always thought you might jest as well take their hull bodies whilst you wuz about it. Don’t you see that is so? When it is pinted out to you by a P. A.?”
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“I went forward to see the Head Hunters. I sez to ’em ‘I’ve hearn of your doin’s and I want to advise you for your good.’” (See page 281)
“I went forward to see the Head Hunters. I sez to ’em ‘I’ve hearn of your doin’s and I want to advise you for your good.’” (See page 281)
283
They kinder jabbered over sunthin’ to themselves, and I sez as I turned away, “Now, don’t let me hear of any more such doin’s! Be contented with the heads you’ve got, and don’t try to git somebody elses that don’t belong to you.” Sez I, “Sunthin’ like that, namely stealin’ the interior of folkses heads, has been done time and agin among more civilized folks, and it don’t work; they git found out.”
I left ’em getisculatin’ and jabberin’ in that strange lingo and am in hopes they wuz promisin’ to quit their Head Huntin’, but can’t tell for certain.
As I santered along a female asked me if I had seen the Divin’ Girls, sez she, “There is a immense pond of water, and they are the best divers and swimmers in the world.”
But I sez, “Nobody can dive into deeper depths than I have doven to-day.”
“The ocean?” sez she.
“Oceans of anxiety,” sez I, “rivers of grief.” I spoze my dretful emotions showed on my linement, and to git my mind off she sez, “You ort to see the aligators.”
I’d hearn they had immense tanks of water as long as from our house to Philander Dagget’s,284holdin’ thousands and thousands and thousands of aligators, from them jest born, to them a hundred years old, from them the size of your little finger weighin’ a few ounces, to them big as elephants, weighin’ two tons.
But I told her I could worry along for years without aligators, I never seemed to hanker for ’em, I wouldn’t take ’em as a gift if I had to let ’em have the run of the house. Humbly things! though I spoze they hain’t to blame for their looks, or their temperses, which are fierce. And I didn’t go into the big animal house, thinkin’ I wuz so dog tired that I would go back to Bildad’s and come back the next day and see all the animals and birds and the hundreds of other shows I’d had to slight that day, enough to devour days of stiddy sight seein’. The Siege of Richmond, The Great Divide, Switzerland, Congress of Nations, Indian Village, The Orient, Bathin’ Pavilions, Japanese Tea Gardens, and etc.
I did want to see the Shimpanzee who duz everything but talk. And I thought mebby the reason he wuz so close-mouthed wuz because he hearn so much talkin’ he wuz sick on’t, as I wuz, and made a sample of himself. But if he did nobody follered it, no indeed! Why,285you jest spozen a hundred swarms of bees big as giants, with buzzes big accordin’, all a swarmin’ and a buzzin’, and you’ll git a little idee of the noise and tumult of Coney Island. But you won’t spozen’ fur enough, I don’t believe. Yes, I laid out to spend considerable time in Dreamland next day. But little did I think of what a day might bring forth, and have got it to think on like them that lose friends, “Oh why didn’t I do thus and so? And now it is too late to wait on ’em, and pay attention to ’em?” But I’m leadin’ a melancholy horse up to a mournin’ wagon, before the thills are on, so I’ll stop eppisodin’ and resoom forwards. Jest outside the gate of Dreamland I met Bildad, and he sez, “Have you found Josiah yet?”
“No,” I sez in despairin’ axents, “I hain’t seen hide nor hair on him.”
And he sez, “Mebby he’s gone in bathin’.”
“No,” I sez, “He took a bath in the wash-tub the night before he come here, and he hain’t a man that will wash oftener than he has to.”
Sez he, “Hundreds of folks take sand baths, lay in the sand and throw it at each other, cover themselves up in it.”
“What for?” I sez.
“Oh, jest for fun. They’ll go into the water286mebby, and then come ashore and roll and tumble in the sand, men, wimmen, and children, mostly foreigners,” sez he.
I sez, “It don’t seem as if Josiah would go into that bizness; he always despised sand.”
“Well,” sez he, “as I come by there jest now, I see somebody that looked like Josiah, goin’ towards the beach with a girl by him.”
I turned onto my heel to once and asked sternly, “Where is that beach? And where is that sand?” He told me and I made for it to once. I hain’t got a jealous hair in my head, but I thought I’d go. Well, it wuz a sight to see, acres and acres of sand dotted with men, wimmen, and children. And beyond, the melancholy ocean, also dotted with swimming heads, with bodies attached, so I spozed. Well might Atlantic be melancholy to see such sights, hundreds of folks comin’ out of the water, hundreds goin’ in, and other hundreds walkin’ or rollin’ in the sand or throwin’ it at each other or half covered up with it.
And as for the clothes they had on, I thought no wonder the Ocean and I sithed to see it, no money would tempt me to wear ’em to mill or meetin’, or to let Josiah wear ’em. They didn’t look decent. Either they wuz scrimped for cloth, or they wanted to look so; whichever way it wuz, I pitied ’em.
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“It wuz a sight to see, acres and acres of sand dotted with men, wimmen, and children.” (See page 286)
“It wuz a sight to see, acres and acres of sand dotted with men, wimmen, and children.” (See page 286)
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But where wuz Josiah? On every side wuz folks settin’ and walkin’, and mounds of sand with sometimes a head stickin’ out, or a foot, or a arm, or a nose. I had hard work to keep from treadin’ on ’em. There would be little hillocks of sand with mebby a child’s head or foot stickin’ out.
Anon a mound over a fat man or a woman big as a hay stack. I walked along for some time keepin’ a clost watch on every side, but no Josiah did I see nor no mound I felt wuz hisen, till jest as I wuz ready to drop down with fatigue with my arjous work to keep from treadin’ on folks, I ketched sight of a nose stickin’ out of a small mound that I thought sure I reconized. My heart bounded at the sight. My first look wuz to see if any girl mound wuz nigh him. But there wuzn’t nothin’ but some children’s heads and feet stickin’ about, and I hastened to that nose and poked the sand from it with my umbrell cryin’:
“Dear Josiah! Is this indeed your nose? Have I found you at last?”
When to my horrow a fierce red whiskered face rared itself up from the sand, and jabbored289at me in a onknown tongue; onknown the words, but the language of anger can be read in any tongue. Hisen betokened the most intense madness, and I spoze that in my agitation I might have jabbed him some with my umbrell, and I hastened away, tromplin’ as I did so in my haste on various heads and arms, and follered by loud busts of what I most know wuz blood curdlin’ profanity, though not Jonesville swearin’.
Well, I wuz tired out and discouraged. No Josiah, no pardner! I felt some like a grass widder, or I guess it wuz more like a real widder. ’Tennyrate my feelin’s wuz too awful to describe, so lonesome, so cast-down and deprested. And no knowin’ as I would ever feel any better, no knowin’ if that dear man would ever be found. And what would life be without him? Nothin’ but a holler mockery filled with movin’ shadders, the Reality of life gone and lost.
Night wuz comin’ on apace and I thought I might as well abandon my quest for the time, so I returned to Bildad’s feelin’ some as if I wuz a sickly serial readin’—“To be continued in our next.” For I knowed that I would resoom the search bright and early, and find that man or perish in my tracks.290
Friday—onlucky day, as it has always been called—had gone to jine the days of the past. I sot on the piazza at Bildad’s lookin’ out on the seen that, bewilderin’ as it wuz by daylight, wuz ten times more bewilderin’ly beautiful by night. Like stars in the tropics, the electric lights flashed out over the hull place, the greatest number of electric lights in the same space in the world, I wuz told and believe.
Every pinnacle, battlement, tower, balcony, winder, ruff, wuz edged with the blazin’ fire embroidery. And the tall mountains, palaces, graceful bridges, piers, pleasure places of all kinds, looked fairy like, under the friendly hand of Night. And ’way up to the very heavens Dreamland tower lifted itself, a gigantic shaft of dazzling brilliancy, dominatin’ the hull island. Passingly beautiful tower by night or day, the first thing the homesick mariner sees as he approaches his Homeland.
Thousands and thousands and thousands of gay pleasure seekers trod the walks to and fro. Thousands and thousands more, rich and poor dined in the gay restaurants and balconies, surrounded with flowers and light and music. And still other thousands enjoyed the myriad amusements afforded them. Bildad’s sister,291who wuz on a visit there from Hoboken, thinks it aristocratick, and herself more refined and rare to run the place down. Lots of folks do that; they go there and stay from mornin’ till night, go up in the Awful Tower, take in every Bump-de-Bump and Wobble-de-Wobble, and then turn up their noses talkin’ to outsiders about it, as fur as their different noses will turn. She was lame at the time from tromplin’ all over the place for the past week. But she sez to me (with her nose turned up as fur as it could, bein’ a pug to start with):
“It is Common people who come here mostly.” And she kinder glared at me as if mistrustin’ I wuz one of ’em.
And I sez, “Well, you know, Lucindy, who it wuz the common people received gladly, and who dwelt among them? And you know Lincoln said, ‘It must be the Lord liked the common people, He made so many on ’em.’”
She didn’t reply, only with her nose, which looked disdainful. And I sez to myself in astonishment, “Can this be Samantha, praisin’ up what she has always run down?” But I had to own up to myself that though I had seen many places more congenial to me, yet I wuz glad that so many people, some of ’em cut off292from the beauty of life, could come here quickly and easily, and forgit their cares and toil for awhile, and go home refreshed and ready to take up their burdens agin. And the children, God bless them! I knowed it wuz indeed to them, the big Wonder Place, and beauty spot of the world and their life.
CHAPTER EIGHTEENJosiah Found at Last! the Awful Fire at Dreamland and the Terrible Sights I Saw There
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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
JOSIAH FOUND AT LAST! THE AWFUL FIRE AT DREAMLAND AND THE TERRIBLE SIGHTS I SAW THERE
I didn’t go out that evenin’, weariness and rumatiz both kep me to home a settin’ on that piazza. And in vain for me did the countless lights burn and blaze. The great tower that lighted up the deep breast of the Atlantic, for milds and milds, couldn’t light up my gloomy sperit.
Where wuz my Josiah? Where wuz the pardner of my youth? In vain did the melogious music blare out its loudest blares, it brought no bam to my sperit. I sot and looked on the countless hosts passin’ by as if they wuzn’t there, the man I loved wuz not among ’em. I sot there lost in mournful thought till the endless crowd gradually dispersed. The music ceased, the lights went out. The hand of Midnight let down her dark mantilly of repose, spangled with stars, Silence sot on the throne Noise had vacated.296
The great City of Mirth wuz asleep. Only the Atlantic and Samantha seemed awake, the Ocean’s deep voice sounded out in the same ontranslated language it has from the creation, and will I spoze till there is no more sea. Ontranslated to most, but to me it thundered out, Swish!—Swosh!—Roar! Where is Josiah? Where is Josiah? Where? Where? Swish!—Swosh!—Roar!
I didn’t want to go to bed, but knowed I needed rest for another arjous day of Husband huntin’. I retired to bed but not to sleep. Anxiety and Grief lay on both sides on me and crowded me, and prodded me with their sharp elbows.
But I spoze I must have droze off, for all to once I wuz passin’ through a great silent city. Hours and hours I trod up and down broad stun highways, through endless parks and Pleasure Places, climbin’ interminable flights of marble stairs, walkin’ through immense picture galleries. Days and days went by, whilst I wuz conductin’ this quest through a deserted city, searchin’ for sunthin’ I couldn’t name. Till at last I lay wore out, on a couch, and Josiah wuz bendin’ over me. He had a small green hat sot rakishly on one side, a red neck-tie flashed out, a immense297cigar wuz in his mouth, out of which streamed a flame of fire. As he bent over me, and I see his dissolute linement and mean, I groaned out, “Oh Josiah, is it thus we meet?”
“We meet as Highlariers!” sez he gayly, and bent still closter, I spozed he wuz goin’ to kiss me. And so philosophical is my mind asleep or awake, I thought even then, the law couldn’t touch him for it if he did. But before his face met mine, that immense flaming cigar sot fire to the piller case. The flames riz up round me, the smoke entered my nostrils and nose.
I sprung up. Josiah had disappeared, but the smell of fire remained. I hurried to the winder. As I had last seen it all the great pleasure ground seemed fast asleep. Gone wuz the tread of the innumerable multitude. The music of the bands wuz hushed, the cries of the different venders and showmen, automobiles, wagons, the stiddy sound of machinery running the mechanical amusements, and the constant sound of footsteps and voices, that filled the day full, wuz all hushed. Even to the long onshapely animal house Night had brought silence. The hull place looked like a City of Dreams, only the eternal waves washin’ up on the beach, seemed to emphasize the silence.298
But what wuz that I see over the dim ruffs? A slender spiral of flame shootin’ up through the shadows, and on Dreamland tower a rosy blush seemed to grow on its whiteness. As I watched the flame, it grew larger and larger, and my heart most stopped beatin’, for I knowed what a fire would mean in them unsubstantial buildin’s. And somewhere there under them flimsy ruffs was my Josiah!
The flame increased! Coney Island wuz afire! Made sensitive by anxiety, I had reconized the smoke borne to me on some vagrant breeze.
The long elaborate dream of mine hadn’t lasted a second. It wuz staged in therealDream Land, for the awful drayma so soon to be enacted there, by the terrible actor, Fire! The most fearful and tragic actor on the hull stage of life.
Fire! Fire! Fire!
Thus did I scream as I throwed on my clothes, I thought at the top of my voice, but I don’t spoze it wuz much above a whisper, for Bildad’s folks didn’t hear me in the next room, through the thin wall, till I rushed to their door and knocked, cryin’ out:
“Bildad, git up! Josiah is afire!”299
“What you say?” he called back.
“Dreamland is afire! Josiah is in danger! But I will save him or perish!” And I ketched up a two quart pail of water, and rushed out doors. You can’t recall your exact thoughts at such a time, yet I have a ricellection of thinkin’—Josiah is small boneded, and two quarts of water might put him out if he had jest got afire. But where wuz the idol of my soul? I spoze every woman on Coney Island thought them thoughts whether she remembers it or not. Where ishe? Will he escape? And men wuz thinkin’, Where isshe? Is she safe? Love puts the question, and Fear and Horrer answers it.
As I rushed along cryin’ Fire! winders wuz throwed up, doors opened, and in less time than I can tell on’t, Surf Avenue wuz full of people. Frenzied cries and shouts rung through the air. And as the flames riz higher and higher, so did the shrieks and yells of the crowd, which had swelled to a mob; bells clanged, fire wagons raced and jangled.
Quicker than any seen wuz ever changed at a theatre the Quiet Night wuz turned into Pandemonium. Men, wimmen and children rushin’ every which way—police—firemen—fire bells300clangin’—men shoutin’—wimmen shriekin’—and every minute the flames increased!
The firemen did what they could, they worked like giants, but the element they wuz workin’ aginst wuz more powerful than man. Anon burnin’ timbers fell with a crash, clouds of smoke wropped us round and choked us, the firemen sent up streams of water that turned to mountains of steam.
I wuz carried by the screechin’ mob hither and yon with no will of my own. Another element wuz added to the dretful seen. Someone cried out:
“The wild animals are loose!”
Wimmen fainted, and men, wimmen and children screamed louder than ever, expectin’ any minute a tiger or lion or leapord to rush at ’em, or a maddened elephant to tromple ’em down.
They said the sight at that time in the animal house wuz enough to turn the soundest brain, for to save the animals they had to let ’em loose. And as they couldn’t be driven out, at last it wuz a great writhin’, strugglin’ mass of animal forms appallin’ to see, while the ears wuz deafened by the maddened cries of leapords and hyenas—the wild jabberin’ of monkeys, snarlin’301and growlin’ of panthers, tigers and bears, roarin’ of lions—hybrids—hissin’ of serpents—pitiful frightened neighing of ponies, trumpetin’ of elephants. A great screamin’, roarin, hissin’, writhin’, fightin’ mass!
But as they refused to be driven to safety, the keepers after heroic efforts to save ’em, give ’em a more merciful death. It took fur greater heroism to do this, for some of ’em wuz dear pets, and it wuz like slayin’ their own children, and they aimed their revolvers at ’em through tearful eyes.
A bareheaded bystander sez, “The fire started in Hell Gate.”
Sez I, “Jest what you could expect of that place, I never hearn no good of it yet.”
But the wild crowd surged to and fro. Earth and Heaven seemed filled with the dretful roar and confusion—
It wuz a riot of deafenin’ noise and clamor below, and fur fur above, Dreamland Tower flamed up a immense pillar of fire, blazin’ out for the last time over sea and land, and with a dyin’ effort at decoration, crashed down, sendin’ up a shower of golden sparks a hundred feet high.
Jest then a woman sez, “The little Incubator Babies have been forgotten.”302
“Not by me!” I sez, and I strove to push my way towards ’em, the woman toilin’ along by my side through the inferno of clamor, steam, smoke, and shriekin’ rushin’ humanity. But jest before we got there we met the good doctors and nurses who wuz bearin’ ’em to safety, and I sez to the woman, “It will be a shame if them helpless mites are ever brought back to this place of danger.”
“Danger!” the words rousted up afresh my agonized fears. Where wuz Josiah? Where wuz my idol? The woman tried to comfort me, for I wuz now cryin’ aloud, and callin’ on his name.
She sez, “He will escape; men can git round so much easier than wimmen.”
“Have you a husband in this dretful place?” sez I.
“No,” sez she, “only their dust, I have got three in a vase on my mantle piece in Surf Avenue.” Instinctively I thought “she’d had husbands to burn, but some wimmen can’t get one to save their lives, and them that get one can’t keep track on him.”
But I d’no whether she saved her vase or not, for we wuz parted by the hustlin’, tearin’, scramblin’ mob, and I wuz carried in another303direction, choked and blinded, and tossted and torn.
I hearn someone say, “Black Prince is loose, the biggest lion of all!” And sure enough, wild and crazy with the fiery heat and noise, the great beast rushed up and down, the crowd givin’ him the Right of Way. And at last he clim’ up onto a battlement and looked down on the mad seen below, the shoutin’ yellin’ mob bore me onwards, so I stood only a stun’s throw from the spot.
Never agin will there be such a seen presented to the eye of man, as that kingly form, standin’ up above the crowd aginst the background of lurid flame.
But who wuz that standin’ directly beneath, in the very middle of danger? My heart bounded so it most broke through my bodist waist.
Did I not know that small boneded figger? That bald head lit up by the glare of flames? It wuz! it wuz Josiah! My pardner-huntin’ wuz ended, but wuz it to be death at the gole? That agonizin’ thought made me by the side of myself, and entirely onbeknown to me I rushed forwards and cried to the lordly beast above, jest ready to spring:
“Don’t harm Josiah! Devour me instead!”
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“I rushed forwards and cried to the lordly beast above, jest ready to spring: ‘Don’t harm Josiah! Devour me instead.’” (See page 303)
“I rushed forwards and cried to the lordly beast above, jest ready to spring: ‘Don’t harm Josiah! Devour me instead.’” (See page 303)