His nose wuz as red as fire.His nose wuz as red as fire.
"I wouldn't give a cent a barrel for the best there is there, if I had got to consoom it myself.
"Though," sez I, reasonably, "I wouldn't object to havin' a pint bottle on't to keep in the house in case of sickness, or to make jell, or sunthin'.
"But I will not go and encourage the makin' of such quantities as thereis there, I will not encourage 'em in makin' that show."
He looked mad, and sez he, "I guess they won't stop their show because you won't go and see it."
"Probable not," sez I; but sez I, real eloquent, "I will hold up my banner afoot or on horseback."
And then I sez to my husband, with quite a good deal of dignity—
"Less proceed to the Wooded Island, Josiah Allen."
But alas! for Josiah's hope of seein' sunthin' plain and simple. When we got there, that seemed to be the very central garden of the earth for flowers, and beauty, and bloom, and there it wuz that we see the most gorgeous rainbow—all made of pansies—glow and dazzlement.
The island contains seventeen acres, and it stands on such a rise of ground, that every buildin' on the Fair ground can be seen plain.
In the centre of the south end wuz the rose garden, where the choicest and most beautiful roses from all over the world bloom in their glowin' richness.
When I thought how much store I had sot by one little monthly rose a-growin' in a old earthen teapot of Mother Allen's—and when it wuz all blowed out I had reason to be proud on't—
But jest think of seein' fifty thousand of the choicest roses in the world, all a-blowin' out at one time.
Why, I had a immense number of emotions.
I thought of the ancient rose gardens we read of, and Solomon's Songs, and most everything.
It wuz surrounded on all four sides with a wire trellis, with archways openin' on four sides, and all over these pretty trellises climbin' roses and honeysuckles, and all lovely climbin' plants covered it into four walls of perfect beauty.
It wuz truly the World's Rose Garden.
Well might Josiah say he wuz sick of flowers, and wanted to see some plain cord wood! Why, that day we see in one batch twenty thousand orchids, six thousand Parmee violets, and one man—jest one man—sent 'leven hundred ivies and one thousand hydarangeas, and every flower you ever hearn on in proportion, let alone what all the other men all over the earth had sent.
On the north side of the island Japan jest shows herself at her very best, and lets the world see her in a native village, and how she raises flowers, and makes shrubs and trees lookcurious as anything you ever see, and curiouser, too; all surrounded a temple where she keeps what she calls her religion, and lots of other things.
Japan is one of the likeliest countries that are represented in Columbuses doin's. She wuz the first country to respond to the invitation to take part in it, and I spoze mebby that is the reason that Chicago gin her this beautiful place to hold her own individual doin's in. The temple is a gorgeous-lookin' one, but queer as anything—as anything I ever see.
But then, on the other hand, I spoze them Japans would call the Jonesville meetin'-house queer; for what is strange in one country is second nater in another.
This temple is built with one body and two wings, to represent the Phœnix—or so they say; the wood part wuz built in Japan and put up here by native Japans, brung over for that purpose.
It is elaborate and gorgeous-lookin' in the extreme, and the gorgeousness a-differin' from our gorgeousness as one star differeth from a rutabaga turnip.
Not that I mean any disrespect to Japan or the United States by the metafor, but I had to use a strong one to show off the difference.
In one wing of the temple is exhibited articles from one thousand to four thousand years old—old bronzes, and arms, and first attempts at pottery and lacquer.
Some of these illustrate arts that are lost fur back in the past—I d'no how or where, nor Josiah don't.
In the other wing are Japan productions four hundred years old, showin' the state of the country when Columbus sot out to discover their country; for it wuz stories of a wonderful island—most probable Japan—that wuz one thing that influenced Columbus strong.
In the main buildin' are sights and sights of goods from Japan at the present day.
All of the north part of the island is a marvellous show of their skill and ingenuity in landscape gardenin', and dwarf trees, and the wonderful garden effects for which they are noted.
They make a present of the temple and all of these horticultural works to Chicago.
To remain always a ornament of Jackson Park, which I call very pretty in 'em.
Take it all together, the exhibits of Japan are about as interesting as that of any country of the globe.
In some things they go ahead of us fur. Now in some of their meetin'-houses I am toldthey don't have much of anything but a lookin'-glass a-hangin', to show the duty and neccessity of lookin' at your own sins.
To set for a hour and a half and examine your own self and meditate on your own shortcomin's.
How useful and improvin' that would be if used—as it ort to be—in Jonesville or Chicago!
But still the world would call it queer.
I leaned up hard on that thought, and wuz carried safe through all the queer sights I see there.
I see quite a number of the Japans there, pretty, small-bonded folks, with faces kinder yellowish brown, dark eyes sot considerable fur back in their heads, their noses not Romans by any means—quite the reverse—and their hair glossy and dark, little hands and feet. Some on 'em wuz dressed like Jonesvillians, but others had their queer-shaped clothin', and dretful ornamental. Josiah wuz bound to have a sack embroidered like one of theirn, and some wooden shoes, and caps with tossels—he thought they wuz dressy—and he wanted some big sleeves that he could use as a pocket; and then sez he—
"To have shoes that have a separate place for the big toe, what a boon for that dum old corn on that toe of mine that would be!"
But I frowned on the idee; but sez he—
"If you mind the expense, I could take one of your old short night-gowns and color it black, and set some embroidery onto it. I could cut some figgers out of creton—it wouldn't be much work. Why," sez he, "I could pin 'em on—no, dum it all," sez he, "I couldn't set down in it, but I could glue 'em on."
But I sez, "If you want to foller the Japans I could tell you a custom of theirn, and I would give ten cents willin'ly to see you foller it."
"What is that?" sez he, ready, as I could see, to ornament himself, or shave his hair, or dress up his big toe, or anything.
But I sez, "It is their politeness, Josiah Allen."
"I'd be a dum fool if I wuz in your place," sez he. "What do I want to foller 'em for? I am polite, and always wuz."
I looked coldly at him, and sez I—
"Japans wouldn't call their wives a dum fool no quicker than they would take their heads off."
Sez he, conscience-struck, "I didn't call you one. I saidIwould be one if I wuz in your place—I wuz a-demeanin' myself, Samantha."
Sez I, not mindin' his persiflage, "The Japans are the politest nation on the earth; they say cheatin' and lyin' hain't polite, and so they don't want to foller 'em; they hitch principle and politeness right up in one team and ride after it."
"Wall," sez he, "I do and always have."
I wouldn't deign to argue with him, only I remarked, "Wall, the team prances, and throws you time and again, Josiah Allen."
Sez I, "The Japans are neat, industrious, studious, and progressive, ardent in desirin' knowledge."
"Wall," sez he, "if you think so much on 'em, why don't you buy a pipe—they all smoke, men and wimmen."
He didn't love to hear me praisin' even a nation, that man didn't, but I soothed him down by drawin' his attention to the housen of the little village.
They wuz low, and had broad eaves, and a sort of a piazza a-runnin' all round 'em; they seemed to be kinder plastered on the outside; and the doors and winders—I wouldn't want to swear to it—but they did seem to be wood frames covered with paper, that would slide back and forth, and the partitions of the housen seemed to be made of paper that could be slipped and slided every way, or be took down and turn the hull house into one room.
And the little gardens round the housen looked curious as a dog, and curiouser, with trees and shrubs dwarfed and trained into forms of animals and so forth.
But I leaned heavy on the thought that my house and garden in Jonesville would look jest as queer to 'em, and got along without bein' too dumbfoundered. As I wuz a-walkin' along there I did think of the errant Old Miss Baker sent by me.
She wanted me to git her a japanned dust-pan. She said that "them she bought of tin-peddlers wuzn't worth a cent—the japan all wore off of 'em."
"But," sez she, "you buy it right at headquarters—you'd be apt to git a good one;" and she told me that I might go as high as twenty-five cents if I couldn't git it for no less.
And I spoke on't there, but Josiah said "that he wouldn't go a-luggin' round dust-pans for nobody to this Fair."
But I sez, "I guess that Columbus went through more than that."
But I did in my own mind hate to go round before the nations a-carryin' a dust-pan—they're so kinder rakish-lookin'.
But if I'd seen a good one I should have leaned on duty and bought it.
But we didn't see no signs of any.
But we see pictures and ornaments so queer that I felt my own eyes a-movin' round sideways a-beholdin' of 'em, or would have if we had stayed there long enough. We see as we wended along that all round the islandwuz another garden all full of flowers, and ornamental grasses, and beautiful shrubs, and windin' walks, and so forth, and so forth, and so forth—an Eden of beauty.
And in one place we see in a large tank the Victoria Regia. Its leaves wuz ten feet long, and when in the water in its own home, the River Amazon in Brazil, the leaves will hold up a child six years old.
Then there wuz the lotus from Egypt, and Indian lilies, and that magnificent flower, Humboldt's last discovery, "the water poppy."
It wuz a sight—a sight.
But of all the sights I see that day I guess the one that stayed by me the longest, and that I thought more on than any of the other contents of Horticultural Hall, as I lay there on my peaceful pillow at Miss Plankses, wuz the reproduction of the Crystal Cave of Dakota.
My peaceful pillow at Miss Plankses.My peaceful pillow at Miss Plankses.
The original cave, so fur as they have discovered it, is thirty-three milds long—
Three times as long as the hull town of Lyme—the idee!
Thirty lakes of pure water has been found in it, and one thousand four hundred rooms have been opened up.
Here is a reproduction of seven of them rooms. Two men of Deadwood of Dakota wuz over a year a-gittin' specimens of the stalactites and stalagmites which they have brought to the Exposition.
One of the rooms is called "Garden of the Gods;" another is "Abode of the Fairies," and one is the "Bridal Chamber;" another is the "Cathedral Chimes."
Language can't paint nor do anything towards paintin' the dazzlin' glory of them rooms, with the great masses of gleamin' crystal, and slender columns, and all sorts of forms and fancies wrought in the dazzlin' crystalline masses.
The chimes wuz perfect in their musical records—the guide played a tune on 'em.
They wuz all lit up by electricity, and it wuz here that the plants wuz a-growin' by no other light but electricity.
By windin' passages a-windin' through groups of fairy-like beauty and grandeur, you at last come out into the principal chamber, and here indeed you did feel that you wuz in the Garden of the Gods, as you looked round and beheld with your almost dazzled eyes the gorgeous colors radiatin' from the crystals, and the gleamin' and glowin' fancies on every side of you.
And I sez to Josiah—
"The hull thirty-three milds that this represents wuz considered till about a year ago as only a small hole in the ground, so little do we know." Sez I, "What glorious and majestic sights are about us on every side, liable to be revealed to us when the time comes."
And then he wuz all rousted up about a hole down in our paster. Sez he, "Who knows what it would lead to if it wuz opened up?" Sez he, "I'll put twenty men to diggin' there the minute I git home."
Sez I, "Josiah, that is a woodchuck hole—the woodchuck wuz took in it; you have got to be megum in caves as much as anything. Be calm," sez I, for he wuz a-breathin' hard and wuz fearful excited, and I led him out as quick as I could.
But he wuz a-sleepin' now peaceful, forgittin' his enthusiasm, while I, who took it calm at the time, kep awake to muse on the glory of the spectacle.
After we left the Horticultural Buildin' I proposed that we should branch out for once and git a fashionable dinner.
"Dinner!" sez Josiah. "Are you crazy, or what does ail you? Talk about gittin' dinner at this time of day—most bedtime!"
But I explained it out to him that fashion called for dinner at the hour that we usually partook of our evenin' meal at Jonesville.
Sez I, "Josiah, I would love for jest once to go to a big fashionable restaurant and mingle with the fashionable throng—jest for instruction and education, Josiah, not that I want to foller it up."
But sez he, "We'd better go to the same old place where we've got good, clean dinners and supperses, and enough on 'em, and at a livin' price."
But he argued warm at the foolishness of the enterprise.
But onlucky creeter that I wuz, I argued that, bein' a woman in search of instruction and wisdom, I wanted to see life on as many sides as I could; while I was at Columbuses doin's I wanted to look round and see all I could in a social and educational way.
Poor deceived human creeters, how they will blind their own eyes when they pursue their own desires!
I do spoze it wuz vanity and pride that wuz at the bottom of it.
And truly, if I desired to see life on a new side I wuz about to have my wish; and if I had a haughty sperit when I entered that hall of fashion, it wuz with droopin' feathers and lowered crest that I went out on't.
Josiah wuz mad when he finally gin up and accompanied and went in with me.
It wuz a beautifully decorated room, and crowds of splendidly dressed men and wimmen wuz a-settin' round at little tables all over the room.
And as we went in, a tall, elegant-lookin' man, who I spozed for a long time wuz a minister, and I wondered enough what brung him there, and why he should advance and wait on me, but spozed it wuz because of the high opinion they had of me at Chicago, and their wantin' to use me so awful well.
But for all his white collar, and necktie, and sanctimonious look, I found out that he wuz a waiter, for all on 'em looked jest as he did, slick enough to be kept in a bandbox, and only let out once in a while to air.
Wall, he led the way to a little table, and we seated ourselves, Josiah still a-actin' mad—mad as a hen, and uppish.
And then the waiter put some little slips of paper before us, one with printin' and one with writin' on it, and a pencil, and sez he, "I will be back when you make out your order."
And Josiah took out his old silver spectacles and begun to read out loud, and his voice wuz angry and morbid in the extreme.
Sez he, loud and clear, "Blue pints—pints of what, I'd love to know? If it wuza good pint of sweetened vinegar and ginger, I'd fall in with the idee."
Sez I, "Keep still, Josiah; they're a-lookin' at you."
"Wall, let 'em look," sez he, out loud and defiant.
"Consomme of chicken a la princess—what do we want of Princesses here, or Queens, or Dukesses—we want sunthin' to eat! Devilish crabs—do you want some, Samantha?"
I looked over his shoulder, in wild horrer at them awful words, and then I whispered, "Devilled crabs—and do you keep still, Josiah Allen; I'd ruther not have anythin' to eat at all than to have you act so—it hain't devilish."
"Wall, what is the difference?" he sez, out loud and strong; "devilish or bedevilled, they both mean the same.
"And it is true, too—too true; they are all bedevilled," sez he, gloomily eyin' the bill.
I allers hated crabs from the time they used to fasten to my bare toes down in the old swimmin' hole in the creek. "Wall, you don't want any bedevilled crabs, do you?"
"I allus hated crabs!""I allus hated crabs!"
"No," sez I, faintly; for I wuz mortified enough to sink through the floor if there had been any sinkin' place, and I whispered, "I'd ruther go without any dinner at all than to have you act so."
"Oh, no," sez he, loud and positive, "you don't want to go without your dinner; you want to be fashionable and cut style—you want to make a show."
"Wall," sez I, faint as a cat, "I am apt to git my wish."
For three men looked up and laughed, and one girl snickered, besides some other wimmen.
Sez I, hunchin' him, "Do be still and less go to our old place."
"Oh, no," sez he, speakin' up to the top of his voice, "don't less leave; here is such a variety!"
"Potatoes surprise," sez he; "it must be that they are mealy and cooked decent; that would be about as much of a surprise as I could have about potatoes here, to have 'em biled fit to eat; we'll have some of them, anyway.
"Philadelphia caperin'—I didn't know that Philadelphia caperin' wuz any better than Chicago a-caperin' or New York a-caperin'. Veal o just! I guess if he had been kicked by calves as much as I have, he wouldn't talk so much about their Christian habits.
"Leg of mutton with caper sass—wall, it is nateral for sheep to caper and act sassy, and it is nobody's bizness.
"Supreme pinted bogardus—what in thunder is that? Supreme—wall, I've hearn of a supreme ijiot, and I believe that Bogardus is his name.
"Terrapin a-layin' on Maryland—I never knew that terrapin wuz a hen before, and why is it any better to lay on Maryland than anywhere else? Mebby eggs are higher there; wall, Maryland hain't much too big for a good-sized hen's nest, nor Rhode Island neither."
"Josiah Allen," I whispered, deep and solemn, "if you don't stop I will part with you."
Folks wuz in a full snicker and a giggle by this time.
"Oh, no," sez he, loud and strong, "you don't want to part with me till I git you a fashionable dinner, and we both cut style.
"Tenderloin of beef a-tryin' on"—a-tryin' on what, I'd love to know?—style, most probable, this is such a stylish place."
"Will you be still, Josiah Allen?" sez I, a-layin' holt of his vest.
"No, I won't; I am tryin' to put on style, Samantha, and buy you sunthin' stylish to eat."
"Wall, you needn't," sez I; "I have lost my appetite."
"Siberian Punch! Let him come on," sez Josiah; "if I can't use my fists equal to any dum Siberian that ever trod shoe leather, then I'll give in."
Then three wimmen giggled, and the waiters began to look mad and troubled.
"English rifles"—wall, I shouldn't have thought they would have tried that agin. No, trifles," sez he, a-lookin' closer at it.
"English trifles!—lions' tails and coronets, mebby—English trifles and tutty-frutty. Do have some tutty-frutty, Samantha, it has such a stylish sound to it, so different from good pork and beans and roast beef; I believe you would enjoy it dearly.
"Waiter," sez he, "bring on some tutty-frutty to once."
The waiter approached cautiously, and made a motion to me, and touched his forehead.
He thought he wuz crazy, and he whispered to me, "Is it caused by drinkin'? or is it nateral and come on sudden—"
Josiah heard it, and answered out loud, "It wuz caused by style, by bein' fashionable; my only aim has been to git my wife a fashionable dinner, but I see it has overcome her."
The waiter wuz a good-hearted-lookin' man—a kind heart beat below that white necktie (considerable below it on the left side), and sez he to me—
"Shall I bring you a dinner, Mom, without takin' the order?"
And I replied gratefully—
"Yes, so do;" and so he brung it, a good enough dinner for anybody—good roast beef, and potatoes, and lemon pie, and tea, and Josiah eat hearty, and had to quiet down some, though he kept a-mournin' all through the meal about its not bein' carried on fashionable and stylish, and that it wuz my doin's a-breakin' it up, and etc., etc., and the last thing a-wantin' tutty-frutty, and etc., etc.
And I paid for the meal out of my own pocket; the waiter thought I had to on account of my companion's luny state, and he gin the bill to me.
And Josiah a-chucklin' over it, as I could see, for savin' his money.
And I got him out of that place as quick as I could, the bystanders, or ruther the bysetters, a-laughin' or a-lookin' pitiful at me, as their naters differed.
And as we wended off down the broad path on the outside, I sez, "You have disgraced us forever in the eyes of the nation, Josiah Allen."
And he sez, "What have I done? You can't throw it in my face, Samantha, that I hain't tried to cut style—that I didn't try to git you a stylish meal."
I wouldn't say a word further to him, and I never spoke to him once that night—not once, only in the night I thought there wuz a mouse in the room, and I forgot myself and called on him for help.
And for three days I didn't pass nothin' but the compliments with him; he felt bad—he worships me. He did it all to keep me from goin' to a costly place—I know what his motives wuz—but he had mortified me too deep.
Wall, this mornin' I said that I would go to see the Palace of Art if I had to go on my hands and knees.
And Josiah sez, "I guess you'd need a new pair of knees by the time you got there."
And I do spoze it wuz milds and milds from where I wuz.
But I only wanted to let Josiah Allen know my cast-iron determination to not be put off another minute in payin' my devours to Art.
He see it writ in my mean and didn't make no moves towards breakin' it up.
Only he muttered sunthin' about not carin' so much about ile paintin's as he did for lots of other things.
But I heeded him not, and sez I, "We will go early in the mornin' before any one gits there." But I guess that several hundred thousand other folks must have laid on the same plans overnight, for we found the rooms full and runnin' over when we got there.
Before we got to the Art Palace, you'd know you wuz in its neighborhood by the beautiful statutes and groups of figgers you'd see all round you.
The buildin' itself is a gem of art, if you can call anything a gem that is acres and acres big of itself, and then has immense annexes connected with it by broad, handsome corridors on either side.
It is Greek in style, and the dome rises one hundred and twenty-five feet and is surmounted by Martiny's wonderful winged Victory.
Another female is depictered standin' on top of the globe with wreaths in her outstretched hands.
Wall, I hope the figger is symbolical, and I believe in my soul she is!
You enter this palace by four great portals, beautiful with sculptured figgers and ornaments, and as you go on in the colonnade you see beautiful paintin's illustratin' the rise and progress of Art.
And way up on the outside, on what they call the freeze of the buildin' (and good land! I don't see what they wuz a-thinkin' on, for I wuz jest a-meltin' down where I wuz, and it must have been hotter up there).
But that's their way.
Wall, way up there and on the pediment of the principal entrances are sculptures and portraits of the ancient masters of Art in relief.
In relief? That's what they called it, and I spoze them old men must felt real relieved and contented to be sot down there in such a grand place, and so riz up like. You could see plain by their liniments how glad and proud they wuz to be in Chicago, a-lookin' down on that seen of beauty all round 'em. Lookin' down on the terraces richly ornamented with balustrades—down over the immense flight of steps down into the blue water, with its flocks of steam lanches, and gondolas, like gay birds of passage, settled down there ready for flight.
All the light in this buildin' comes down through immense skylights.
There is no danger of folks a-fallin' out of the winders or havin' anybody peek in unless it is the man in the moon.
All round this vast room is a gallery forty feet wide, where you could lock arms and promenade, and talk about hens.
But you wouldn't want to, I don't believe. You'd want to spend every minute a-feastin' your eyes on the Best of the World.
All along the floors of the nave and transepts are displayed the most beautiful sculptures that wuz ever sculped in any part of the world, while the walls are covered with paintin's and sculptured panels in relief.
That's what they call 'em, because it's such a relief for folks to set down and look at 'em.
Between the promenades and naves and transepts are the smaller rooms, where the private collections of picters are kep and the works of the different Art Schools, and the four corners are filled with smaller picter galleries.
Why, to go through jest one of them annexes, let alone the palace itself, would take a week if you examined 'em as you ort to. Josiah told me that mornin', with a encouraged look onto his face—
"Samantha, after we've seen all the ile paintin's we'll go somewhere, and have a good time."
"But good land! see all the ile paintin's!"
Why, as I told him after we'd wandered through there for hours and hours, sez I, "If we spent every minute of the hull summer we couldn't do justice to 'em all."
And we couldn't. Why, it has been all calculated out by a good calculator, that spend one minute to a picter, and it would take twenty-six days to go through 'em. And good land! what is one minute to some of the picters you see. Why, half a day wuzn't none too long to pour over some on 'em, and when I say pour, I mean pour, for I see dozens of folks weepin' quite hard before some on 'em.
I see dozens of folks weepin' quite hard before some on 'em.I see dozens of folks weepin' quite hard before some on 'em.
For these picters wuzn't picked out haphazard all over the country. No, they had to, every one on 'em, run the gantlet of the most severe and close criticism.
The Jury of Admittance stood in front of that gallery, and over it, as you may say, like the very finest and strongest wire sieve, a-strainin' out all but the finest and clearest merits. No dregs could git through—not a dreg.
I guess that hain't a very good metafor, and if I wuzn't in such a hurry I'd look round and try to find a better one, not knowin', too, but what that Jury of Admittance will feel mad as hens at me to be compared to sieves; but I don't mean the common wire ones, such as tin-peddlers sell. No, I mean the searchin' and elevatin' process by which the very best of our country and the hull world wuz separated from the less meritorious ones, and spread out there for the inspiration and delight of the assembled nations.
And wuzn't it a sight what wuz to be found there!
Landscapes from every land on the globe—from Lapland to the Orient. Tropical forests, with soft southern faces lookin' out of the verdant shadows. Frozen icebergs, with fur-clad figgers with stern aspects, and grizzly bears and ice-suckles.
Bits of the beauty of all climes under all skies, dark or sunny. Mountains, trees, valleys, forests, plains and prairies, palaces and huts, ships, boats and balloons. The beauty and the sadness of every season of the year, beautiful faces, inspired faces, humbly faces, strikin' powerful means, and mean cowardly sly liniments looked out on every side of us.
Picters illustratin' every phase of human life, in every corner of the globe, from birth to death, from kingly prosperity and luxurious ease to prisons and scaffolds, the throne, the hospital, the convent, the pulpit, the monastery, the home, the battle-field, the mid-ocean, and the sheltered way, and Heaven and Hell, and Life and Death.
Every seen and spot the human mind had ever conceived wuz here depictered.
Every emotion man or woman ever felt, every inspiration that ever possessed their soul, every joy and every grief that ever lifted or bowed down their heads wuz here depictered.
And seens from the literature of every land wuz illustrated, the world of matter, the world of mind, all their secrets laid bare to the eyes of the admirin' nations.
It wuz a sight—a sight!
Gallery after gallery, room after room did we wander through till the gorgeous colorin' seemed to dye our very thoughts and emotions, and I looked at Josiah in a kinder mixed-up, lofty way, as if he wuz a ile paintin' or a statute, and he looked at me almost as if he considered me a chromo.
It wuz a time not to be forgot as long as memory sets up high on her high throne.
Room after room, gallery after gallery, beauty dazzlin' us on every side, and lameness and twinges of rumatiz a-harassin' us in our four extremities.
Why, the sight seemed so endless and so immense, that some of the time we felt like two needles in a haymow, a haymow made up of a vision of loveliness, and the two little needles feelin' fairly tuckered out, and blunted, and browbeat.
Why, we got so kinder bewildered and carried away, that some of the time I couldn't tell whether the masterpiece I wuz a-devourin' with my eyes come from Germany or Jonesville, from France or Shackville, from Holland or from Zoar, up in the upper part of Lyme.
Of course amongst that endless display there wuz some picters that struck such hard blows at the heart and fancy that you can't forgit 'em if you wanted to, which most probable you don't.
And now, in thinkin' back on 'em, I can't sort 'em out and lay 'em down where they belong and mark 'em 1, 2, 3, 4, and etcetry, as I'd ort to.
But I'm jest as likely to let my mind jump right from what I see at the entrance to sunthin' that I see way to the latter end of the buildin', and visa versa.
It kinder worries me. I love to even meditate and allegore with some degree of order and system, but I can't here. I must allegore and meditate on 'em jest as they come, and truly a-thinkin' on these picters, I feel as Hosey Bigelow ust to say:
"I can't tell what's comin'—gall or honey."
But some of them picters and statutes made perfect dents in my memory, and can't be smoothed out agin nohow.
There wuz one little figger jest at the entrance where we went in, "The Young Acrobat," that impressed me dretfully.
It wuz a man's hand and arm that wuz a-risin' up out of a pedestal, and on the hand wuz set the cutest little baby you ever see. I guess it wuz the first time that he'd ever sot up anywhere out of the cradle or his ma's arms.
He looked some skairt, and some proud, and too cunnin' for anything, as I hearn remarked by a few hundred female wimmen that day.
And like as not it is jest like my incoherence in revery that from that little baby my mind would spring right on to the French exhibit to that noble statute of Jennie D. Ark, kneelin' there with her clasped hands and her eyes lifted as if she wuz a-sayin': "Ididhear the voices!"
And so she did hear the language of Heaven, and the dull souls around her wuz too earthly to comprehend the divine harmonies, and so they burnt her up for it.
Lots of folks are burnt up in different fires to-day, for the same thing.
Then mebby my mind will jest jump to the "Age of Iron" or to the "Secrets of the Tomb," or "The Eagle and the Vulture," or "Washington and Lafayette," or "Charity"—a good-lookin' creeter she wuz—she could think of other children besides her own; or mebby it will jump right over onto the "Indian Buffalo Hunt"—a horse a-rarin' right up to git rid of a buffalo that wuz a-pressin' right in under its forelegs.
I don't see how that hunter could stay on his back—I couldn't—to say nothin' to shootin' the arrows into the critter as he's a-doin'.
Or mebby my mind'll jump right over to the "Soldier of Marathon," or "Eve," no knowin' at all where my thoughts will take me amongst them noble marble figgers.
And as for picters, my revery on 'em now is a perfect sight; a show as good as a panorama is a-goin' on in my fore-top now when I let my thoughts take their full swing on them picters.
Amongst them that struck the hardest blows on my fancy wuz them that told stories that touched the heart.
There wuz one in the Holland exhibit, called "Alone in the World," a picter that rousted up my feelin's to a almost alarmin' extent. It wuz a picter by Josef Israel.
It wuz a sight to see how this picter touched the hearts of the people. No grandeur about it, but it held the soul of things—pathos, heart-breakin' sorrow.
A peasant had come home to his bare-lookin' cottage, and found his wife dead in her bed.
He didn't rave round and act, and strike an attitude. No, he jest turned round and sot there on his hard stool, with his hands on his knees, a-facin' the bare future.
The hull of the desolation of that long life of emptiness and grief that he sees stretch out before him without her, that he had loved and lost, wuz in the man's grief-stricken face.
It wuz that face that made up the loss and the strength of the picter.
I cried and wept in front of it, and cried and wept. I thought what if that wuz Josiah that sot there with that agony in his face, and that desolation in his heart, and I couldn't comfort him—
Couldn't say to him: "Josiah, we'll bear it together."
I wuz fearful overcome.
I cried and wept in front of it, and cried and wept.I cried and wept in front of it, and cried and wept.
And then there wuz another picter called "Breakin' Home Ties."
A crowd always stood before that.
It wuz a boy jest a-settin' out to seek his fortune. The breakfast-table still stood in the room. The old grandma a-settin' there still; time had dulled her vision for lookin' forward. She wuz a-lookin' into the past, into the realm that had held so many partin's for her, and mebby lookin' way over the present into the land of meetin's.
The little girl with her hand on the old dog is too small to fully realize what it all means.
But in the mother's face you can see the full meanin' of the partin'—the breakin' of the old ties that bound her boy so fast to her in the past.
The lettin' him go out into the evil world without her lovin' watchfulness and love. All the love that would fain go with him—all the admonition that she would fain give him—all the love and all the hope she feels for him is writ in her gentle face.
As for the boy, anticipation and dread are writ on his mean, but the man is waitin' impatient outside to take him away. The partin' must come.
You turn away, glad you can't see that last kiss.
Then there wuz "Holy Night," the Christ Child, with its father and mother, and some surroundin' worshippers of both sects.
Mary's face held all the sweetness and strength you'd expect to see in the mother of our Lord. And Joseph looked real well too—quite well.
Josiah said that "the halos round his head and Mary's looked some like big white plates."
But I sez, "You hain't much of a judge of halos, anyway. Mebby if you should try to make a few halos you'd speak better of 'em."
I often think this in the presence of critics, mebby if they should lay holt and paint a few picters, they wouldn't find fault with 'em so glib. It looks real mean to me to see folks find so much fault with what they can't do half so well themselves.
Then there wuz the wimmen at the tomb of the Christ. The door is open, the Angel is begenin' for 'em to enter.
In the faces of them weepin', waitin' wimmen is depictered the very height and depth of sorrow. You can't see the face of one on 'em, but her poster gives the impression of absolute grief and loss.
The quiverin' lips seems formin' the words—"Farwell, farwell, best beloved."
Deathless love shines through the eyes streamin' with tears.
In the British section there wuz one picter that struck such a deep blow onto my heart that its strings hain't got over vibratin' still.
They send back some of them deep, thrillin' echoes every time I think on't in the day-time or wake up in the night and think on't.
It wuz "Love and Death," and wuz painted by Mr. Watts, of London.
It showed a home where Love had made its sweet restin'-place—vines grew up round the pleasant door-way, emblematic of how the heart's deep affection twined round the spot.
But in the door-way stood a mighty form, veiled and shadowy, but relentless. It has torn the vines down, they lay witherin' at its feet. It wuz bound to enter.
Though you couldn't see the face of this veiled shape, a mysterious, dretful atmosphere darkened and surrounded it, and you knew that its name wuz Death.
Love stood in the door-way, vainly a-tryin' to keep it out, but you could see plain how its pleadin', implorin' hand, extended out a-tryin' to push the figger away, wuz a-goin' to be swept aside by the inexorable, silent shape.
Death when he goes up on a door-step and pauses before a door has got to enter, and Love can't push it away. No, it can only git its wings torn off and trompled on in the vain effort.
It wuz a dretful impressive picter, one that can't be forgot while life remains.
On the opposite wall wuz Crane's noble picter, "Freedom;" I stood before that for some time nearly lost and by the side of myself. Crane did first-rate; I'd a been glad to have told him so—it would a been so encouragin' to him.
Then there wuz another picter in the English section called "The Passing of Arthur" that rousted up deep emotions.
I'd hearn Thomas J. read so much about Arthur, and that round extension table of hisen, that I seemed to be well acquainted with him and his mates.
I knew that he had a dretful hard time on't, what with his wife a-fallin' in love with another man—which is always hard to bear—and etcetry. And I always approved of his doin's.
He never tried to go West to git a divorce. No; he merely sez to her, when she knelt at his feet a-wantin' to make up with him, he sez, "Live so that in Heaven thou shalt be Arthur's true wife, and not another's."
I'll bet that shamed Genevere, and made her feel real bad.
And his death-bed always seemed dretful pathetic to me.
And here it wuz all painted out. The boat floatin' out on the pale golden green light, and Arthur a-layin' there with the three queens a-weepin' over him. A-floatin' on to the island valley of Avilion, "Where falls not hail nor rain, nor any snow."
And then there wuz a picter by Whistler, called "The Princess of the Land of Porcelain."
You couldn't really tell why that slender little figger in the long trailin' silken robes, and the deep dark eyes, and vivid red lips should take such a holt on you.
But she did, and that face peers out of Memory-aisles time and time agin, and you wake up a-thinkin' on her in the night.
Mr. Whistler must a been dretful interested himself in the Lady of the Land of Porcelain, or he couldn't have interested other folks so.
And then there wuz another by Mr. Whistler, called "The Lady of the Yellow Buskin."
A poem of glowin' color and life.
And right there nigh by wuz one by Mr. Chase, jest about as good. The name on't wuz "Alice."
I believe Alice Ben Bolt looked some like her when she wuz of the same age, you know—
"Sweet Alice, whose hair was so brown,Who wept with delight when Mr. Ben Bolt gin her a smile;And trembled with fear at Mr. Ben Boltses frown."
She ort to had more gumption than that; but I always liked her.
Elihu Vedder's picters rousted up deep emotions in my soul—jest about the deepest I have got, and the most mysterious and weird.
Other artists may paint the outside of things, but he goes deeper, and paints the emotions of the soul that are so deep that you don't hardly know yourself that you've got them of that variety.
In lookin' through these picters of hisen illustratin' that old Persian poem, "Omer Kyham"—
Why, I have had from eighty to a hundred emotions right along for half a day at a time.
Mr. Vedder had here "A Soul in Bondage," "The Young Marysus and Morning," and "Delila and Sampson," and several others remarkably impressive.
And Mr. Sargent's "Mother and Child" looked first-rate in its cool, soft colors. They put me in mind a good deal of Tirzah Ann and Babe.
And "The Delaware Valley" and "A Gray Lowery Day," by Mr. George Inness, impressed me wonderfully. Many a day like it have I passed through in Jonesville.
"Hard Times," also in a American department, wuz dretful impressive. A man and a woman wuz a-standin' in the hard, dusty road.
His face looked as though all the despair, and care, and perplexities of the hard times wuz depictered in it.
He wuz stalkin' along as if he had forgot everything but his trouble.
And I presoom that he'd had a dretful hard time on't—dretful. He couldn't git no work, mebby, and wuz obleeged to stand and see his family starve and suffer round him.
Yes, he wuz a-walkin' along with his hands in his empty pockets and his eyes bent towards the ground.
But the woman, though her face looked haggard, and fur wanner than hissen, yet she wuz a-lookin' back and reachin' out her arms towards the children that wuz a-comin' along fur back. One of 'em wuz a-cryin', I guess. His ma hadn't nothin' but love to give him, but you could see that she wuz a-givin' him that liberal.
And Durant's "Spanish Singing Girl" rousted up a sight of admiration; she wuzverygood-lookin'—looked a good deal like my son's wife.
Well, in the Russian Department (and jest see how my revery flops about, clear from America to Russia at one jump)—
There wuz a picter there of a boat in a storm.
And on that boat is thrown a vivid ray of sunshine. You'd think that it wuz the real thing, and that you could warm your fingers at it, but it hain't—it is only painted sunshine. But it beats all I ever see; I wouldn't hesitate for a minute to use it for a noon-mark.
In the German Exhibit wuz as awful a picter as I want to see. It was Julia, old Mr. Serviuses girl—Miss Tarquin that now is—a-ridin' over her pa and killin' him a purpose, so she could git his property.
To see Miss Tarquin, that wicked, wicked creeter, a-doin' that wicked act, is enough to make a perfect race of old maids and bacheldors.
The idea of havin' a lot of children to take care on and then be rid over by 'em!
But I shall always believe that she wuz put up to it by the Tarquin boys. I never liked 'em—they wuzn't likely.
But the picter is a sight—dretful big and skairful.
And in that section is a beautiful picter by Fritz Uhele, whose figgers, folks say, are the best in the world.
"The Angels Appearing to the Shepherds."
Oh, what glowin' faces the angels had! You read in 'em what the shepherds did:
"Love, Good Will to Man."
There wuz some little picters there about six inches square, and marked:
"Little Picters for a Child's Album."
And Josiah sez to me, "I believe I'll buy one of 'em for Babe's album that I got her last Christmas."
Sez he, "I've got ten cents in change, but probable," sez he, "it won't be over eight cents."
Sez I, "Don't be too sanguine, Josiah Allen."
Sez he, "I am never sanguinary without good horse sense to back it up. They throwed in a chromo three feet square with the last calico dress you bought at Jonesville, and this hain't over five or six inches big."
"Wall," sez I, "buy it if you want to."
"Wall," sez he, "that's what I lay out to do, mom."
So he accosted a Columbus Guard that stood nigh, and sez he—
"I'm a-goin' to buy that little picter, and I want to know if I can take it home now in my vest pocket?"