Josiah paid our fares.Josiah paid our fares.
And oh, what curious feelin's it did make me have to cast my eyes onwards amongst these splendid arches and pillows, and see anon or oftener a tall Moor, with his long robe and his white turban, or whatever they call it, a-fallin' round his face!
And then another and another of the white-robed figgers, a-glidin' round in amongst the arches, or a-settin' there in a vista of gorgeousness, like ghosts of the past come to visit the Columbus Fair.
Way beyend the labyrinths, and to the left on't, is the Palm Garden, with lounging places for three or four hundred visitors, and a Moorish orchestra hid by a cluster of branchin' palms, and Arab attendants in native costumes.
And then there wuz grottoes and fountains lit by electric lights, and groups of statuary illustratin' famous historical seens.
And right here, while the past wuz a-pressin' so clost to us, that we wuz almost took back there in the body—our minds wuz there, way, way back—
When sudden, swift, wuz we brung back from the past—brung back to conscientousness, as it were, by two forms and two voices.
Here of all places in the world, in the heart of a Moorish palace, did my eyes fall upon the faces of Bizer Dagget, and Selinda, his wife.
And I sez, as my eyes fell from the contemplation of art-decked freeze and fretted archways onto the old familar freckled face, and green alpaca dress, and Bizer's meek sandy whiskers, and pepper-and-salt suit—
Sez I, "Whyee, Selinda and Bizer, is it you? How do you do? When did you git here? You didn't lay out to come when we started."
"No," sez Selinda; "you know jest how it wuz, you know we had his folks to take care on, and Father Dagget wuz so helpless that we had to lift him round. And we shouldn't beenable to git here at all, only Father had a severe fall out o' bed one night in the dead of night. He wuz all alone, and skairt—so we spoze—and that fall took him off on the second day.
"And as quick as we could git ready we sot off here.
"Whyee! Selinda and Bizer, is it you?""Whyee! Selinda and Bizer, is it you?"
"It didn't seem really right, but you know Father hain't known anything for upwards of two years, and you know jest how bad we did want to come here.
"But I don't know as it wuz exactly right to come off so soon after he fell. I spoze it will make talk, I spoze his folks will talk, and the Jonesvillians."
"But," I sez, for I wanted to comfort her—she's a good creeter—
Sez I, "Columbus had to wait before he sot out to discover us, till Grenada fell, and that made talk." Sez I, "Probable Columbuses folks talked as much as Bizer's folks will. But," sez I, "it wuz all for the best.
"And," sez I, "your Father Dagget wuz a good creeter before he lost his mind."
"Yes," sez she, "but for upwards of two years he's tried to put his pantaloons on over his head, and he'd put his arms in his boots every time if we'd let him, thinkin' it wuz a vest."
"Wall," sez I, "you've did well by him, Selinda, and now if I wuz in your and Bizer's place, I'd try to look round all I could and git my mind off, and see everything I could see."
Sez she with a deep sithe, "There hain't no trouble about that; there is enough to see." Sez she, "It seems as though I had seen enough every five minutes sence I come, if it wuz spread out even and smooth, to cover a hull lifetime, and cover it thick, too," sez she.
"And," sez I, warmly and candidly, "Heaven knows that is true—true as gospel."
And then Selinda and Bizer, and Josiah and me walked on into other parts of the buildin', and there we see a small-lookin' model of the Santa Maria, the Admiral's flag-ship, manned by men with the same clothes on as wuz wore by Columbuses mariners. That filled me with large emotions, and Selinda felt it too.
And it wuz here that Josiah nudged me, and sez he, "You've always throwed it into my face that men don't think so much of each other as wimmen do; and now," sez he, "look at them two men—I've watched 'em as long as ten minutes—a-holdin' each other's hands."
And sure enough, I turned, and I see two good-lookin' men a-holdin' each other by the hand as if they loved each other fondly—
As if they couldn't bear to leggo. They wuz first-rate lookin' men, too, and you could see plain by their liniments how much store they sot by each other.
Wall, Josiah and I wended off and looked at the wax figgers of Lincoln, and the death of Marie Antoinette, and lots of other interestin' wax statutes; and when we come back, there stood them two men still a-holdin' each other by the hand; and Josiah whispered agin, "How they love each other! no gabblin' and gushin', like wimmen, but jest silent, clost, deep love."
"But," I sez, "I believe there is sunthin' wrong about 'em. It hain't nateral for men to stand still so long holt of hands. I believe they're in a fit or sunthin'."
"A fit!" sez he. "I spoze a woman would have a fit if she had to keep still a minute with another woman in gunshot of her.
"But to satisfy you," sez he, "I'll see."
So he accosted 'em, and sez he, "I will ask the way to Noah's Ark." So he advanced with a polite air, and sez he, "Could either one of you two gentlemen tell me where Noah's Ark is situated?" Sez he, "Bizer is anxious to see it."
They didn't move or stir, and Josiah agin sez, "Do you know where Noah's Ark is?" and he laid his hand on the arm of one of the men who stood near him.
A Columbian Guard who stood near sez, "Keep your hand offen the wax figger!"
Josiah wuz mortified most to death. He'd wanted to show off the equality of his sect, and to have man's love and fidelity proved to be but wax wuz harrowin'.
But he didn't stay mortified more'n a minute and a half on sech a business.
And the Guard told us where Noah's Ark wuz.
And Bizer and Josiah wuz all carried away with it. This wuz in the children's room, and all the animals are reproduced life size, every one of 'em two and two, jest as they enter the Ark.
We couldn't hardly tear our two pardners away, Selinda and I couldn't.
Josiah said, "It wuz so beautiful and interestin'," and so Bizer said.
But I believe what made them men cling to it so for sech a length of time, they hearn us talk about how we wanted to go into the Bazaar, where there wuz lots of things to sell.
But finally they see they couldn't hold us back no longer, so we went through that gorgeous place, all full of bronzes, rugs, vases, pipes, and etcetry.
We didn't stay long here, though, for Bizer and Josiah said that the air wuz that bad they wuz chokin', and that they couldn't stan' it.
And Selinda and I a-feelin' that chokin' a pardner wuz the last thing we wanted to undertake, we went through it at a pretty good jog, and anon we found ourselves in Turkey; and here I found the Turkeys had done first-rate.
Why, one piece of their hand-wrought lace wuz worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. While I wuz a-admirin' of it, Josiah whispered firmly—
"Don't go to thinkin' of that old night-cap in sech a time as this."
And I whispered back, "I hain't no more idee on't than you have of buyin' that old tent to take down to the lake with you a-fishin'."
That very old battle-tent wuz all hand work, embroidered in gold and silver and silk in nateral figgers, and they said it wuz worth five millions of dollars—
And a silver bedstead the Sultan is a-goin' to give to his daughter as a part of her settin' out when she marries wuz worth four hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
You can from this form some idee of the value of the other enormous exhibits.
And the most beautiful horses you ever see, right from the Sultan's stable, wuz a-prancin' round. And one hundred Beoudins with camels and dromedaries added to the picteresqueness of the seen.
And then we see Cleopatri's needle, that tall column a-risin' up to the sky, all covered with writin' worse than mine, and that's a-sayin' a good deal. I couldn't read a word on't, nor Josiah couldn't.
And to the back of the Grand Bazaar wuz leven cottages, where male and female Turkeys wuz workin' at their different trades, showin' jest how rugs, and carpets, and embroideries, and brass work is made.
As I said to Selinda, "Would you believed it possible, Selinda, if we'd been told on't a dozen years ago that you and I should be a-travellin' in Turkey to-day?"
And she said, "No, indeed; she had never imagined that she should ever visit sech foreign shores."
Yes, we felt considerable riz up to think that we wuz engaged in foreign travel, but not hauty. No,we are both on us well-principled, and don't believe in puttin' on airs.
Wall, we stayed here a good while, and Josiah thought he'd eat sunthin' here, too. If he'd had his way, he would had a good square meal in every foreign country, and native one, too. That man's appetite is wonderful. Foreign countries can't quell it down, nor rumatiz, nor nothin'.
Hakenbeck's animal show comes next, and it is the most complete—so they say—that wuz ever exhibited.
The tent is two hundred feet square, and is filled with all the animals that ever went into the Ark, and more, too, I believe. Five thousand people can go in here at one time, and set down, and see lions a-ridin' on horseback, with a woman to run the performance, and see animals a-doin' everything else that ever wuz done by 'em, and tigers, and elephants, and performin' horses, and two hundred monkeys, and one thousand parrots.
We didn't go in, but Josiah slipped in one day when I wuzn't with him, and he described it to me. He owned up to me that he had.
And he said he did it to keep me from havin' sech a skair.
"Why," sez he, "a woman that is afraid of a gobbler, and runs from a snake—
"Why," sez he, "I wouldn't as a man of feelin' take her right in the way of havin' her feelin's hurt and skairin' her most to death for nothin' this world could give."
And I said—and I meant it—"If it hadn't been for the fifty cents I guess you wouldn't felt so, Josiah Allen."
But he stuck to it that it wuz pure affection and principle. I d'no what to think about it, but I have my suspicions.
Wall, at the next place Josiah could not be restrained. It wuz the good old-fashioned New England house with gable ends, and here a good New England dinner wuz served.
And sez Josiah, "I don't leave this house till I have a good square meal."
Bizer felt jest so, and so Selinda and I jined 'em in a meal most as good as she and I got up to hum, and that is sayin' a great deal.
Josiah's satisfaction in eatin' that pork and beans, and them doughnuts, wuz a sight to witness.
Bizer called for cold biled vittles, and sure enough, they brung 'em on.
And the enjoyment of them two men wuz extreme. Selinda and I took comfort in some old-fashioned pound-cake and custard pie.
Selinda said she'd love to have the receipt of that pound-cake.
Selinda is a good plain cook. She can't cook like me, of course, but she duz well.
Wall, their extra good meal had sot up Josiah and Bizer to a wonderful extent (they had drunk coffee too strong for 'em by half, and I knew it), and them two men wanted to go back into the Cairo Street. Bizer and Selinda had never seen it, and all the way there Josiah seemed to be on the lookout to do sunthin' heroic and surprisin' to Bizer.
And jest after we got there, we did see as strange a sight as I ever see. It wuz a Eastern Fakir, as they called him. He wuz performin' one of his strange sights right there before our face and eyes.
A big crowd wuz gathered round him of human bein's in all strange costumes, and camels and their drivers, and dromedaries, and donkeys, and everything else under the sun. But this man stood calm under the sights and ear-piercin' yells and jabbers.
And in some way, I d'no how, nor Josiah don't, he wuz a-holdin' another Japan or Turkey—anyway, one of them foreign men—suspended right up in the air.
I see it, and Josiah see it, and Bizerses folks. Eight eyes from Jonesville looked at it, to say nothin' of the assembled crowd.
He wuzn't restin' on nothin' at all, so fur as we could see. What material wrought out of the Occult World wuz piled up under him I d'no.
There might have been a sofa and two cushions wrought out of another fabric different from what we know anything about, and that don't make any show aginst the summer sky.
And then, agin, it might be that Josiah wuz right.
He sez, "It's easy enough to do that. He casts a mist before our eyes, and we have to see jest what he wanted us to."
"Wall," sez I, "if I had to do one of 'em to entertain the Missionary Society at Jonesville, I d'no but I had jest as soon hist Submit Tewksbury up in the air, and suspend her there in our parlor, as to cast mists before the eyes of the Jonesvillians and make 'em see her there when she wuz a-settin' on the sofa. Either one on 'em is queer—queer as a dog."
"Wall," sez he, "you don't want to go into any sech a job. You'll kill Submit, anyway, experimentin' on her."
And I sez, "You needn't worry; I hain't a-goin' to try to branch out into no sech doin's." Sez I, "I wuz usin' Submit as a metafor."
Wall, the Fakir after a while asked the queer-lookin' crowd gathered round him for money to try more experiments with.
And wantin' to branch out and outdo Bizer, and make himself a hero, Josiah planked out a five-dollar bill.
And then the man asked Josiah to look in his hat, and there inside the band he found the money, or so it seemed.
And then he told me to look in my pocket, and there wuz five silver dollars to all appearance.
I felt real well about it, and wuz about to put 'em into my portmoney, thinkin' that they wuz my lawful prey, seein' they had fell onto me through my pardner's weakness, when lo and behold! they wuzn't there.
I felt real stunted, and kinder sot back.
"Slight of hand," sez Josiah to me and Bizer. "Don't be afraid, I'll make it all right." And he reached out his hand to git the money back. The man handed the money back, or so we spozed, and vanished in the crowd.
And Josiah, when he went to look in his hand, found some pink and white paper. He hollered round and acted for quite a spell, but the man wuz gone for good, and Josiah's money with him. Wall, Josiah wuz almost broken-hearted over the loss of his money; he felt awful browbeat and smut, and acted so.
And then it wuz Bizer's time to show off and act. Nothin' to do but what Selinda had got to ride a camel.
She hung back and acted 'fraid. She hain't a bit well, for all she is so fat. She has real dizzy spells sometimes, and is that cowardly that she'd be 'fraid to ride a cow, let alone one of them tall, humbly monsters. But nothin' to do but what Bizer would have his way.
He did it jest to go ahead of us, and I knew it, for I put my foot right down in the first on't.
Josiah would a paid out the money willin'ly ruther than had Bizer go ahead of him.
Bizer said he wanted to give Selinda all the enjoyment he could while on her tower, she had been shet up so much, and hadn't had the pleasures she ort to had.
I knew his motives and Selinda's feelin's, but couldn't break it up, for Selinda had always follered Elder Minkley's orders strict, that he gin her at the altar—
"Wives, obey your husbands."
She didn't rebel outward, but she whispered to me in pitiful axents—
"I hate to ride that creeter—oh, how I hate to! But you know my principles," sez she; "you know I always said that wives ort to obey their pardners."
And I sez, "When pardners and common sense conflict, I foller common sense every time. Howsumever," sez I, "if you want to air them principles of yourn, you won't be apt to find a more lofty place to exhibit 'em."
And I glanced up the gray precipitous sides of that camel, and she looked up 'em, too, with fear and tremblin', but begun to gird her lions, figgeratively speakin', to obey Bizer and embark.
She has always boasted to me and the other neighborin' wimmen that she has never disobeyed her husband once; and I sez to her cheerfully, "Wall, I have, and expect to agin, if the Lord spares my life."
And so Miss Bobbet told her, and Miss Gowdy, and Miss Peedick, and all the rest. She acted so high-headed about it, that we said it some to take down her pride, and some on principle.
We believed there wuz reason in all things, and none of us wimmen felt that we would stand
"On a burnin' deck,Whence all but we had fled,"
and burn up, even if our pardners had ordered us to. We wuz law-abidin', every one on us, but we felt there wuz times where law ended and common sense begun.
But Selinda argued, I well remember, that if Bizer had ordered her to stay on that deck, she should stay and be sot fire to.
And she praised up little Casey Bianky warmly, while we thought and said that Casey acted like a fool, and felt that Mr. Bianky would much ruther had him run and save himself than to burn up; anyway, old Miss Bianky would, and I believe his pa would.
Men are good-hearted creeters the biggest heft of the time, but failable in judgment sometimes, jest like female wimmen.
But Selinda wuz firm in her belief.
And here this day in Chicago she gin one of the most remarkable proofs of it ever seen in this country.
So while Selinda trembled like a popple leaf, and her false teeth rattled over her dry tongue (besides the camel, she wuz 'fraid as death of the Turkey that driv it, and he did look fierce), the camel knelt down, and the almost swoonin' Selinda was histed up onto his back by the proud and haughty Bizer, and the strange-lookin' Turkey.
She had no more than got seated when the driver give a skairful yell, and the camel give a fearful lunge, and straightened up on its feet, and Selinda's bunnet fell back onto her neck, and lay there through the hull of the enterprise, and her gray hair floated back onchecked, for she dassent let her hands go a minit to fix it.
It wuz a mournin' bunnet and veil, but black gittin' soiled so easy, she had put on a bright green alpaca dress she had, thinkin' that she wouldn't see nobody she knew; and she wore some old yeller mitts for the same reason, and some low, shabby-lookin' shoes, and some white stockin's.
And her weight bein' two hundred and forty, she showed off vivid aginst the settin' sun.
Selinda is a meek woman and obedient, but she cries easy. You have got to take good traits and bad ones in folks. She can't help it. She always cries in class meetin', or anywhere—has cried time and agin a-tellin' how she would be trompled on and lay down and have her head chopped off if Bizer told her to.
And of course it couldn't be expected she would go through this fearful experience without sheddin' tears. No; before she had been up there two minits she begun to cry.
Before she had been up there two minits she begun to cry.Before she had been up there two minits she begun to cry.
She always makes up pitiful faces when she weeps. It has been talked on a sight in Jonesville, some sayin' she might help it, and some contendin' that she couldn't; but she skairs children frequent.
But now she dassent leggo a minit to git her handkerchief, so she rode along weepin' silently, and a fearful sight for men or angels, but truly a cryin' monument of wifely devotion.
As she moved off, I could see at the first strain her dress waist, bein' one of the short round ones with a belt, had bust asunder, leavin' a white waist of cotton flannel between 'em, which seemed to be a-growin' wider and wider all the time. (She wears cotton flannel for her health.)
As I see this, and not knowin' what would ensue and take place in her clothin', I cast onto the wind my own fears, and the shrinkin' timidity of my sect, and graspin' my umbrell in my hand, I run along by the side of the lofty quadreped, a-tryin' to reach up and fix her a little.
But I could not; her position wuz too lofty, the mount wuz too precipitous on which she sot.
She see me, but she didn't stop her cryin', and the faces she wuz a-makin' wuz pitiful in the extreme, and skairful to anybody that hadn't seen 'em so much as I had. She wuz half bent, which made her cotton-flannel infirmity harder to witness.
The camel wuz a-swayin' fearful from side to side, and a-lurchin' forwards and a lurchin' backwards at a dangerous rate.
Oh, how dizzy-headed Selinda must have been! How skairt and how dretful her feelin's wuz!
Sez I, "Dismount to once, Selinda Dagget."
"No," sez she; "Bizer has placed me here, and here I will stay."
"You don't know whether you will or not," sez I. "I believe you are a-fallin' off; and," sez I, "I'm 'fraid you'll git killed, Selinda; do git down!"
"I fear it too," sez she, and she looked down on me with agony in her mean, and sez she—
"Good-bye, Sister Allen; if we don't meet agin, we both believe in a better country."
I wuz all carried away by my emotions, or wouldn't spoke out so; but I sez—
"This country is all right enough, if folks didn't act like fools in it." Sez I, "Do you git down and pull down your bask, and wipe your nose and eyes; you look like fury, Selinda Dagget."
"No," sez she; "Bizer wanted me to ride, and I shall die a-pleasin' him. I took vows of obedience onto me at the altar, and if I die here, Sister Allen, tell the female sistern at Jonesville that I died a-keepin' them vows."
Sez I, "I'll tell 'em you died a nateral fool;" and sez I agin, "Git down offen that camel, Selinda Dagget, before you fall off."
And I kep clost by her, and kinder poked at her with my umbrell, to let her know I hadn't deserted her, and havin' a blind idee that I could hold her up with it if the worst come.
Where wuz Bizer durin' this fearful seen? while I wuz a-showin' plain the deathless devotion to my sect—to another one in distress.
He wuz all took up with his own feelin's of pride and show.
He wuz a-ridin' a donkey, and it wuz a-backin' up and a-actin', and took every mite of his strength and firmness to keep on.
He had a tall white hat with a mournin' weed on't, and a long linen duster, and the wind blowed this out some like a balloon.
He looked queer; but as soon as he stiddied himself on't he tried his best to reach the side of Selinda—I'll say that for him. But the donkey wuz obstinate, and kep a-backin' up, and Bizer, bein' his legs dragged, kinder walked along with the donkey under him. Occasionally he would set down for a spell, but the most of his journey wuz done a-walkin' afoot. And the crowd see it and cheered.
It wuz hard on Bizer. Nothin' but pride and ambition led him into the undertakin', or kep him up through it.
As for me, I lost all patience, and my breath, too, and went back to my pardner.
And anon or about that time they made their rounds, and come back where Josiah and I stood.
I reached up a handkerchief to Selinda as quick as I could, but she couldn't wipe her eyes or tend to her nose until she dismounted, or fix the gapin' kasum at the back of her waist.
She greeted me warmly the minit her feet touched terry firmy, as one might who had come out of great peril. She's a good-hearted creeter.
And between us both, with some pins I took out of my huzzy I always carry with me, we fixed her up agin.
And if you'll believe it, the very minit I got her pinned up she begun to act high-headed and to boast of how much principle she'd shown.
And I said, "You've shown more'n principle, Selinda; you've showed cotton flannel that you had ort to have kep to yourself. You have made a panorama that can't be described."
"Yes," sez she; "it will be sunthin' to tell on all my life."
She took it as a compliment. Oh dear me suz!
Bizer had scraped the patent leather all offen the toes of his shoes, and had squandered three dollars in money, but he felt good. Yes, they both said what a excitement this adventure would make in Jonesville when they told on't.
And I thought to myself, if the Jonesvillians could see jest how she looked, and he too, it would be apt to make a excitement.
How many times did I digest this great truth while on my tower! How little we know sometimes what a appearance we are a-makin' before men and angels, when we think we are a-doin' sunthin' wonderful!
Wall, Josiah wuz all took aback; he couldn't seem to bear Bizer's patronizin' ways so well as I could Selinda's. Truly, females learn the lesson well to suffer and be calm.
But he acted kinder surly, and proposed that we should go hum; and bein' tired as a dog, I gin a willin' consent, and Bizer and Selinda parted from us, their way layin' different from ourn.
Wall, that night, after we got back to Miss Plankses, I felt all kind o' shook up in sperit, and considerable as I do when I've eat too hearty, and of too many kinds of food.
You know, you mustn't swaller a big meal too quick, or eat too many kinds of food when you're tired, or it won't set right on your stomach.
I felt real dyspeptic in my mind that night, and I felt that I had wandered out of the sweet, level paths of Moderation and Megumness that I love to wander in.
But I am a eppisodin', and to resoom.
It seemed as if the bed never felt so good to me as it did that night; and the pillers never felt so soft, and quiet, and comfortable. And with a deep sithe of content I went out at once into the Land of Sleep, and bein' too tired to
"tread its windin' waysBeyend the reach of busy feet,"
I sunk down under the shade of a branchin' Poppy Tree, and laid there becalmed and peaceful till Miss Plankses risin' bell rung—way up the stairway, up into my bedroom—and echoed over into the Land, shook the drowsy boughs over my head, and waked me up.
And then, tired as I wuz the night before, I felt considerable chipper.
Wall, this mornin' we sot off in good season. We would always lay our plans in the mornin', and that mornin' I said, "I would love to tackle the Agricultural Buildin'."
And Josiah gin his willin' consent. He said, "After so much gildin' and orniments, he would love to look at a potato, or a rutabagy, or a cowcumber."
And I sez, "If you lay out to git rid of seein' orniments, you had better not stir out of your tracks."
And Nony Piddock said, "It sickened a man to see so much vain orniment."
And the Twin said, "It wuz perfectly beautiful to see it."
And the rest of the boarders bein' agreed jest about as well on't, we set out for the Agricultural Hall in pretty good sperits.
Wall, truly did Nony say that the orniments wuz impressive and overwhelmin'.
Now, I thought I had seen orniments, and I thought I had seen pillows.
Why, Father Allen had a porch held up by as many as five pillows—holler ones—boarded round and painted to look like granite stun.
And our Meetin'-House steeple wuz, I had always spozed, ornimented.
Why, we had gin as high as fourteen dollars for the ornimental work on that steeple, and the Jonesvillians, and the Loontowns, and the Zoarites come from fur and near to look at it and admire it, the Jonesvillians in pride and the others in envy, and a-hankerin' to have one like it.
The Jonesvillians, and the Loontowns, and the Zoarites came from fur and near.The Jonesvillians, and the Loontowns, and the Zoarites came from fur and near to admire it.
But truly our pride in that steeple tottered and fell when we hove in sight of that Agricultural Hall.
And when you look at the size of that buildin', and the grandeur of it, you can see plain what sort of a place Agriculture holds in the minds of the world, and how much store folks set on eatin'; and truly, how could the world git along without it? It would run right down.
Why, imagine, if you can, eight hundred feet one way and five hundred the other way, all orniments and pillows, pillows and orniments, and one big towerin' dome in the centre, and lots of smaller ones, each one topped off with the most beautiful figger, and groups of figgers, you ever laid eyes on.
Where wuz Father Allen's pillow, and our steeple? Gone, crushed down under twenty-six hundred feet of clear pillows and orniments.
On top of the great central dome stands the beautiful figger of Diana, who had flown away from Madison Square, New York, and had settled down here on purpose to delight the beholders of the United Globe with her beauty and grace.
She wuz still a-holdin' her arrows in her hand, still a-turnin' her beautiful face around so everybody could see it, still a-kickin' at the wind with her pretty heel. But, as in the past, so now, let her kick ever so hard, she couldn't turn the wind a mite when it got its mind made up to blow from any particular pint of the compass.
And besides this figger on the dome, every little while on the four corners of the buildin' wuz long, low groups of female wimmen a-holdin' garlands, depicterin' the four seasons.
And the long line of pillows would be broken by noble piers, with a beautiful group of figgers on every one on 'em, and some flags a-wavin' out, as if to draw attention to the perfectness of the statutes.
One on 'em wuz a good-lookin' man a-holdin' two prancin' horses, and I sez to myself, I am glad to see a man a-holdin' the bits for once.
But come to look closter, I see that there wuz two figgers—little girls, I guess—that wuz holt of the horses' heads. And then I see the man had a sword in one hand and a club in the other. He wuzn't to blame—he couldn't hold 'em. Jest like Josiah; lots of times he would be real glad to do things, only his hands are full.
And then another group wuz a beautiful female a-standin' up between two great, big, long-horned oxen, a-holdin' them powerful-lookin' beasts with a rope made of posies.
Good land! I wouldn't held 'em with iron chains. They looked so high-headed, and their horns looked so long, and it seemed too bad to put her at such a dangerous job.
But she didn't seem to be a mite afraid; she looked calm, and she had on plenty of store clothes, which wuz indeed a comfort.
She didn't seem to be a mite afraid.She didn't seem to be a mite afraid.
And then, besides these main piers, with their large, beautiful groups, there wuz fifty-two smaller piers, each one havin' a handsome statute, representin' winged Geniis, sometimes a-holdin' tablets in their hands, and anon horns of plenty, and abundance.
Most of this beautiful sculpture wuz designed by a man named Martiney, French born, but I guess a-callin' himself an American now.
And I thought, as I looked at it, I would love to see him, and tell him how well I thought on him and his works. He also made the beautiful orniments in the interior of the large rotunda, and the great figger of Ceres that stands in the centre.
In the pediment over the main entrance stands another beautiful figger of Ceres—she that wuz Demetor Saturn.
I spoze, mebby, now we ort to call her Miss Jupiter. But, anyway, she is as good-hearted as can be, always a-handin' out grain and food to the perishin'.
Here she stands in the sculpture, which is made by an American, Mr. Mead by name—here she stands, tall and benignant, in the centre of as many as twenty men, wimmen, and children, a-sufferin' from hunger the most on 'em, and she a-handin' out food right and left. What a good creeter she is, anyway!
Wall, mebby I have gin you a faint, a very faint idee of the beauty of the hull twenty-six hundred feet of solid loveliness and perfection.
But who—who will tell what we see inside on't?
In this buildin' every State in the Union, and almost every civilized nation of the world, is represented with agricultural exhibits, and food products in their manufactured state. Prizes will be gin at the end of the Fair to thebest.
Every nation is shown up here; and if you have got any learnin', you can look it up in your own Gography, and realize the number on 'em, and the immense size of the exhibition.
And then there is the most interestin' exhibits in agricultural teachin', Schools and Colleges of different nations, side by side with the best American colleges of Agriculture, and Experimental Stations.
Here in this exhibit you can see everything eatable and drinkable, from Jonesville wheat to palm sugar, and all sorts of vegetables that wuz ever seen, and the very biggest ones that wuz ever grown, from a sweet potato to a squash, and peanuts to cocoanuts—
And all sorts of animal products, from a elephant's tusk, from Africa, to a sleek deacon's skin, from Jonesville.
And then, besides the exhibit of raw products of every kind, from Egypt to Shackville, there are shown off all sorts of manufactured foods, and everything else, and so forth and so on.
If you stay here long enough, say from 2 to 3 months, you can git a good idee of what the world feeds on, from Hindoostan to Loontown and Zoar.
Josiah enjoyed himself here richly.
He hardly could be torn away.
And I took comfort, too, in the dairy, where the butter and cheese from the different States is shown off in handsome cases, and kep cool and fresh in dog-days. This wuz, I spoze, to test the merits of the different breeds of dairy cattle, and teach the very best methods of makin' butter and cheese.
I took solid comfort here, and I also got some new and useful idees that I could disseminate to Miss Isham, and she that wuz Submit Tewksbury.
As for Philury, I mean to give her lessons daily (she runs our dairy in my absence).
In the annex of this buildin' wuz exhibits of all the Agricultural implements ever known or hearn on, from the first old rickety reaper up to the noble machine of to-day, that will cut the grain, and take out a string and tie it up in sheafs; and I guess if it wuz encouraged enough, it would take it to the mill and grind it—
And the first old cotton-gin and mower up to the finished machines of to-day.
Outside this buildin', directly on the lagoon, wuz exhibits of gates, fences, and all sorts of wind-mills, from the picteresque old Dutch mills up to the ones of eighteen hundred and ninety-three.
And engines, portable and traction ones.
I asked Josiah, "What he spozed a traction engine wuz," and he sez, "One that is tractable—easy to manage." Sez he, "Some on 'em, you know, is obstropolos."
I don't know whether he got it right or not, but he seemed sure on't, and that is half the battle, so fur as makin' a show is concerned, in this world.
Jined to this department is a Assembly Hall, on purpose for speakers and orators to disseminate the best and latest idees about agriculture.
And, take it all in all, what a boon to Jonesville and the World the hull exhibit is!
It wuz a sight!
Wall, bein' pretty nigh to it—only a little walk acrost a tree-shaded green—I acceded to my pardner's request that I would go with him to the Stock Exhibit. He had been before, but I hadn't got round to it.
It is sixty-three acres big, forty-four acres under ruff.
Think of a house forty-four acres big!
Wall, here we see every live animal that wuz ever seen, from a little trick pony to a elephant, and from a sheep to a camel—a dretful interestin' exhibit, but noisy.
And all kinds of dogs, from a poodle to a mastiff.
Why, there wuz one dog there that wuz worth three thousand and seven hundred dollars; it is the biggest dog in the world.
But I told Josiah that I wouldn't gin a cent for it if I had got to have it round; it wuz so big that it wuz fairly skairful. Why it weighed about two hundred and fifty pounds.