I’ve a question momentous I wish to propoundTo matrons and maidens alike:If you lived in a land where men are not found,Don’t you think you would go on a strike?What’s the use of fine features, of bright eyes and curls,When no one is by to admire?I’ve tried it, and know what I’m saying, dear girls,Of that kind of life you’d soon tire.Chorus.In childhood it’s dollies, it’s novels for girls,But tell me my friends if you can,Where’s the pleasure in life for a girl of eighteenLike the pleasure of catching a man?Each day like the former a burden time hangsOn your hands; life itself is a bore.With not even ambition to curl your bangs,And your mirrors with dust covered o’er,You would turn with disgust from a tailor-made gown,From diamonds, lace and all that,And in extreme cases one might even frownAt a love or a duck of a hat.You have heard of the blossom whose sweetest perfumeWas wasted upon desert air,But the aimless existence of this pretty bloomDoes not for a moment compareWith the life of a maiden, the victim of Fate,Compelled to live out life’s spanIn a country that does not provide her a mate,Too poor to furnish a man.
I’ve a question momentous I wish to propoundTo matrons and maidens alike:If you lived in a land where men are not found,Don’t you think you would go on a strike?What’s the use of fine features, of bright eyes and curls,When no one is by to admire?I’ve tried it, and know what I’m saying, dear girls,Of that kind of life you’d soon tire.Chorus.In childhood it’s dollies, it’s novels for girls,But tell me my friends if you can,Where’s the pleasure in life for a girl of eighteenLike the pleasure of catching a man?Each day like the former a burden time hangsOn your hands; life itself is a bore.With not even ambition to curl your bangs,And your mirrors with dust covered o’er,You would turn with disgust from a tailor-made gown,From diamonds, lace and all that,And in extreme cases one might even frownAt a love or a duck of a hat.You have heard of the blossom whose sweetest perfumeWas wasted upon desert air,But the aimless existence of this pretty bloomDoes not for a moment compareWith the life of a maiden, the victim of Fate,Compelled to live out life’s spanIn a country that does not provide her a mate,Too poor to furnish a man.
I’ve a question momentous I wish to propoundTo matrons and maidens alike:If you lived in a land where men are not found,Don’t you think you would go on a strike?What’s the use of fine features, of bright eyes and curls,When no one is by to admire?I’ve tried it, and know what I’m saying, dear girls,Of that kind of life you’d soon tire.
Chorus.In childhood it’s dollies, it’s novels for girls,But tell me my friends if you can,Where’s the pleasure in life for a girl of eighteenLike the pleasure of catching a man?
Each day like the former a burden time hangsOn your hands; life itself is a bore.With not even ambition to curl your bangs,And your mirrors with dust covered o’er,You would turn with disgust from a tailor-made gown,From diamonds, lace and all that,And in extreme cases one might even frownAt a love or a duck of a hat.
You have heard of the blossom whose sweetest perfumeWas wasted upon desert air,But the aimless existence of this pretty bloomDoes not for a moment compareWith the life of a maiden, the victim of Fate,Compelled to live out life’s spanIn a country that does not provide her a mate,Too poor to furnish a man.
O’Rourke.That’s a foine song, to be sure; beautiful sentiment and all that, but are you really in earnest about this matter?
Kitty.Indeed I am.
O’Rourke.Thin how would yez loike to become Mrs. O’Rourke?
Kitty.(running toward him) Oh! do you really mean—(turning away) er—er—this is so sudden—you must give me time to think.
O’Rourke.“Think it over!” Yes, an’ whoile yez is thinkin’ it over Oi’ll be sthandin’ here frazin’ to death. Yez’ll have to do yer thinkin’ purty quick Miss Claus, or yez’ll be a widdy before yez is married, so you will.
Kitty.Are you really cold, dear? Why of course you are; how stupid of me to forget that you are not used to such a rigorous climate and those clothes of yours are hardly the proper thing for this frigid zone. I suppose you did not have time to change your clothes.
O’Rourke.To be coorse Oi didn’t have toime to get a shave even. (strokes whiskers) Bad cess to that father of yours.
Kitty.Poor man, how you must suffer. Come with me. I will have the court tailor take your measure for a suit of furs and the servants shall see that you are provided with a fire.
O’Rourke.Kitty, yez is a good girrul; but Oi say, would yez moind sinding up a ham and some hen-fruit.
Kitty.Hen-fruit?
O’Rourke.Yis, some eggs, you know.
Kitty.Oh! of course not. You shall have something to eat at once.
(Kittygoes toC.
O’Rourke.(aside) McGinnis ould bye, yer in luck this toime to be sure. What a pity it is we can’t all be borrun with silver spoons in our pockets. Jist look at me now! Oi’m goin’ to have a shquare meal, a shute of clothes and perhaps a woife, and whin Oi get her Oi’m goin’ right back to ould Erin and—(stops to think) Ah! there’s the rub. How am Oi goin’ to get back to Erin? (aloud) Well Kitty, Oi’m with yez whoile the grub lashts.
(exeunt, C.
Santa ClausandGussiecome from behind throne.
Gus.Well now, that’s clevah, deucedly clevah!
Santa.Oh Gussie! Gussie! Would you add insult to injury by mocking a poor old man whose only daughter is about to break her father’s heart by becoming the wife of a potato-masher?
Gus.Pardon me, your majesty, but the potato-masher seems to have crushed us very successfully. He has quite a fetching way with the ladies too. I couldn’t have managed that little romance better myself.
Santa.But what is to be done to avert this dreadful calamity?
Gus.Send the terrier away, of course.
Santa.Impossible! The man would die of cold and hunger. You seem to forget, Gussie, that we are surrounded with ice and snow, piled mountain-high. How many brave explorers from the land of mortals have lost their lives in the attempt to penetrate the mysteries of the North Pole.
Gus.But can you not take the man away as you brought him here?
Santa.Have you also forgotten that one of the conditions of my becoming immortal and the Christmas Saint was that I was not to leave these icy fastnesses but once each year? I can not take this man away until next year on Christmas Eve, in that time who knows what dreadful things may happen?
(completely un-nerved
Gus.Your majesty, give me leave to think.
Santa.Yes, Gussie, think! think! I know not if dudes have a thinker, but if you have thinks to think, prepare to think them now Gussie, prepare to think them now. (Santadrops in chair at table overcome by emotion, whileGussiewalks up and down the room in comical attitude of thinking.) Your thinker seems to be working rather slowly, Gussie; time is very precious to me now.
(Gussiestops suddenly and claps his hands
Gus.I have it!
Santa.Good! What is it?
Gus.It is a plan to circumvent this Hibernian rogue, a very simple plan, but clever, deucedly clever and reflects great credit upon it’s author.
Santa.Gussie, if your plan succeeds, I’ll raise your salary to $12.00 a month.
Gus.I hear some one approaching. I will not have time to explain my plan in detail, but you must promise to make no objection to any of my actions while I am carrying the plan out, and I assure you all will be right in the end.
Enter,O’Rourke,R. U. E.
Santa.(hesitating) I will do as you wish.
(exit,L.
O’Rourkeadvances forward looking admiringly at himself in a new suit of clothes.
O’Rourke.Begorra, it’s a foine display Oi’m makin’ now. Oi’m a worker from Cork so Oi am, and—(seesGussie) Oh! take it away, take it away!
Gus.This is Mr. O’Rourke, I believe. I must take the liberty of introducing myself. I am Gussie de Smythe, Grand Illustrious Scribe and Supreme Confidential Clerk to his Majesty, Santa Claus, Ruler of the Kingdom of the North Pole.
O’Rourke.(aside) He looks like a grand illustrated squib from “Puck.” (aloud) Oi say, could you say that again and say it real slow? You ought to be more careful about makin’ payple acquainted wid doubtful characters. Howsomever, Oi don’t moind a little thing loike that in a could counthry loike this. Oi’m quite fond of curiosities moiself, so Oi am.
Gus.Sir, this unseemly levity is far from being as clevah as you suppose, in fact it is quite the contrary, doncherno; but to proceed to business—you know the purpose for which you were brought here, do you not?
O’Rourke.Well thin, Oi don’t jist that same; Oi don’t know nawthin’ about it at all, at all an’ that’s phwat’s the matter with me, so it is.
Gus.Then I can enlighten you upon that point. You were brought here to ascend the throne and become the successor of Santa Claus as ruler of the Kingdom of the North Pole.
O’Rourke.You don’t say; an’ how much will Oi git fur that job now?
Gus.Oh! you will have this beautiful palace, innumerable servants and countless wealth at your disposal.
O’Rourke.But how about the wurruk? Phwat’s moy hours?
Gus.You will have no work to do, nothing to do but sit on your throne and make laws for the government of your Kingdom. A monarch is never supposed to do anything for himself; there will be hosts of servants at hand to do your bidding; and I, as your private secretary, will ever be at your side ready to carry out your desires as soon, or even before, they are expressed.
O’Rourke.All roight, Oi’ll go you wan for luck. Begorra this job is ace and joker ahead of the perlice force.
Gus.I am glad that you are willing to assume the responsibilities of the office sir. No time need be lost; we will proceed with the coronation ceremonies at once.
(pulls bell-rope: noise as before
O’Rourke.The corneration ceremonies? An’ phwat might them same be now?
Gus.You shall soon see. I have summoned all of the royal household, including Santa Claus himself; he will renounce his title and the throne, and will publicly proclaim you king with the title of Santa Claus the II.
O’Rourkestruts up and down the stage arranging his collar and tie.Santa ClausentersL. U. E.,withMrs. ClausandKittyon either arm; comes down stageL.,followed by theHolidays;FairiesenterR. U. E.;FootmanandCoachmanenterC.,and stand on each side of the door.
O’Rourke.Ah! there’s Kitty. Swate girrul, that Kitty. Oi say, Kitty, ain’t Oi a darlint in my new suit of clothes?
Kitty.You are indeed a charming creature, Mr. O’Rourke. Are you for sale?
O’Rourke.Oi don’t know. Oi’ll come hoigh if Oi am. Oi’m the only wan av me that’s left.
Gussietakes position in front, clears his throat and makes a few preliminary gestures as if preparing to make a speech.
Gus.Friends, Romans, Countrymen—
O’Rourke.Naw you don’t! Naw you don’t! You don’t borry anything from me at all, at all.
Gus.(ignoring the interruption) I have summoned you here to witness the coronation ceremonies of Mr. McGinnis O’Rourke, whom I now proclaim King of the North Pole with the title of Santa Claus II.
Santa.(going over toGussieand speaking angrily) What are you saying, sir? This is treason! Do you hear? Treason!
(Gussiegoes through pantomime of explaining toSanta
O’Rourke.Do yez hear that now? Oi’m going to be King, so Oi am; and Kitty, you shall be moy bride and do me washin’. You’re a princess now Oi belave, but Oi’m going to make yez a rale queen. Do yez hear, Kitty moy darlint? A rale queen and you shall have a new piece of gum ivery day, so you shall.
Mrs. C.What is that dreadful man saying? Come Kitty my child, you must not stay here to be insulted in this way.
(tries to leadKittyoffR.
Santa.(speaking aloud as he returns to his wife’s side) All right, Gussie, my boy; but be careful, be very careful.
(pantomime of persuading his wife to remain
Gus.Well, Mr. O’Rourke, are you prepared to take the coronation oath?
O’Rourke.No sir! Oi niver shware. Oi’m not abducted to the use av profanity in any forrum sir.
Gus.Well, I suppose the taking of the oath would be a useless formality in your case; we will dispense with it. (toFootmanandCoachman) Bring in the royal diadem to crown his gracious majesty and the royal sceptre, the symbol of his power.
FootmanandCoachmanexitC.,and return with a large crown and a feather duster.
Gus.Your majesty, in investing you with these symbols of royalty I feel that I am conferring an unique distinction upon this people by giving them for a ruler a man the like of whom has never before escaped captivity.
Omnes.Hear! Hear!
Footmanplaces crown onO’Rourke’shead, he having been led to the throne and seated thereon byGussie,who takes feather duster fromCoachmanand brushes it acrossO’Rourke’sface.O’Rourkesneezes and fumbles in his pocket for a handkerchief.Gussietakes it from him and wipes his nose for him.FootmanandCoachmanretire toC.
O’Rourke.Begorra, Oi’ve a notion to swipe yez for that, so Oi have.
Gus.Pardon me, your majesty, but it is one of the privileges of my exalted office to perform all little services of that kind for our king. As I told you, a monarch is never permitted to do anything for himself. There yet remains the Coronation song.
CORONATION SONG.
To the tune of “This House is Haunted.”
Gus.I now proclaim you our king, our monarch,And we your vassals true will be;Be gracious to us, do not refuse us,Thou brightest gem of royalty.Mrs. C.O! never fear, Gus., he’ll not refuse us,How could you look for that from such as he?Gus. and Mrs. C.He’s much too greedy and likewise seedyFrom such a snap as this to flee.Chorus.We now proclaim you our king, our monarchAnd we your vassals true will be,Be gracious to us, do not refuse us,Thou brightest gem of royalty.Kitty.We have a man now lately importedFrom over the sea, the Emerald Isle;We must not lose him, I will amuse him,Each idle moment I’ll be beguile.Santa.Oh never fear, dear, he will remain here,He will not haste to leave us yet a while.Kitty and Santa.But if he would go, he could not do so,Becoming an iceberg is not quite his style.
Gus.I now proclaim you our king, our monarch,And we your vassals true will be;Be gracious to us, do not refuse us,Thou brightest gem of royalty.Mrs. C.O! never fear, Gus., he’ll not refuse us,How could you look for that from such as he?Gus. and Mrs. C.He’s much too greedy and likewise seedyFrom such a snap as this to flee.Chorus.We now proclaim you our king, our monarchAnd we your vassals true will be,Be gracious to us, do not refuse us,Thou brightest gem of royalty.Kitty.We have a man now lately importedFrom over the sea, the Emerald Isle;We must not lose him, I will amuse him,Each idle moment I’ll be beguile.Santa.Oh never fear, dear, he will remain here,He will not haste to leave us yet a while.Kitty and Santa.But if he would go, he could not do so,Becoming an iceberg is not quite his style.
Gus.I now proclaim you our king, our monarch,And we your vassals true will be;Be gracious to us, do not refuse us,Thou brightest gem of royalty.
Mrs. C.O! never fear, Gus., he’ll not refuse us,How could you look for that from such as he?
Gus. and Mrs. C.He’s much too greedy and likewise seedyFrom such a snap as this to flee.
Chorus.We now proclaim you our king, our monarchAnd we your vassals true will be,Be gracious to us, do not refuse us,Thou brightest gem of royalty.
Kitty.We have a man now lately importedFrom over the sea, the Emerald Isle;We must not lose him, I will amuse him,Each idle moment I’ll be beguile.
Santa.Oh never fear, dear, he will remain here,He will not haste to leave us yet a while.
Kitty and Santa.But if he would go, he could not do so,Becoming an iceberg is not quite his style.
(O’Rourkefalls asleep during the song
Santa.Well I declare, the fellow has actually fallen asleep!
(exit,Fairies,R. U. E.
O’Rourke.(starting suddenly) No Oi’m not asleep naythur. Who said Oi was asleep, eh? (yawns; starts to raise his hand to his mouth;Gussieplaces his own hand overO’Rourke’smouth) By the powers now, Oi’ve a notion to knock a quart of stars out av yez eyes for that.
(sparring
Gus.Your majesty, it is one of the privileges of my office to cover the King’s mouth when he yawns.
O’Rourke.It is, is it? Well don’t yez do that same any more while Oi am King or Oi’ll have yez hanged by the neck until yez are asphixiated, see?
Kitty.Poor man! It is very tiresome work, being a King.
O’Rourke.It is just that Miss Kitty; let me advise yez not to try it. But it will be different when Oi have you for my queen.
Santa.That can never be!
O’Rourke.Phwat is that? Git out sir, git out! Oi’ll have you banished to wance.
(Gussiegoes through pantomime imploringSantato be silent
Gus.Would your majesty be pleased to review the Amazons, the defenders of our realm?
O’Rourke.Oi don’t know what an Amazon is, but Oi’ll be glad to interview anything for a change.
Enter,FairiesandHolidays,and execute a fancy march.
During progress of marchO’Rourkeattempts to applaud and take part in, in all of which attempts he is prevented byGussie,who explains in pantomime that it does not become a monarch to do anything of these things. At close of march,Amazonstake positions onR.andL.of stage.
O’Rourke.Well now girruls, that’s foine. Oi think Oi’ll have yez on guard duty around the throne all the time. Oi’m afraid somebody’ll stale me, so Oi am. (toGussie,who is talking toKitty) Here sir, come away from that! Get me something to eat. Oi hanker for poy.
Gus.Your majesty shall have pie in one minute.
(talks toKitty
O’Rourke.(astounded) In wan minute! Ye haythen. Oi am the King and when Oi want poy Oi want poy, and begorra Oi’m going to have it too.
O’Rourkestarts towardC.,Gussietakes him by the arm and leads him back to throne, and makes sign toFootmanwho exits,C.
Gus.Your majesty shall have pie; but this unseemly haste ill befits a monarch.
Enter,Footman,C.,with pie on plate.
O’Rourke.Ah! that’s a sight to gladden moy eyes, so it is. Bring the noble birrud here.
O’Rourkestarts to leave throne;Footmankneels and presents pie;Gussietakes it from him and eats it to the consternation ofO’Rourke.
Gus.(with mouth full of pie) Your majesty, it is one of the privileges of my exalted office to eat the King’s pie for him, doncherno?
(O’Rourkegrows very angry; leaves the throne and comes down stage
O’Rourke.This is the last ton av coal that broke the camel’s back! Oi have let yez blow moy nose for me, scratch moy head for me and lead me around loike a poodle on the end of a shtring, but Oi will let no cigarette sign av yure soize eat moy poy for me sir! No sir! Not for Venice! Yez can take yer ould kingdom; it’s nawthin but an Oice-house anyway. Oi shall go back to Cork, get on the perlice force and eat a poy-factory ivery day if Oi want to. That’s phwat Oi’ll do.
Santa.(aside toGussie) Gussie you’re a jewel of the first water. I congratulate you upon the success of your scheme.
O’Rourke.Kitty, will yez fly wid me?
Kitty.Unfortunately sir, I cannot fly, though I wish I could, for that seems to be the only way by which we can escape this icy prison.
Santa.(toGussie) Sir, I denounce you! Your scheme is a failure. My daughter’s mind remains unchanged. She is ready, even now, to fly to the end of the earth with this Hibernian babboon!
Gus.Your majesty I have done my best; what more could I do. It was a noble plan and worthy the great brain from which it sprang, but success and failures are not far distant and I have fallen just outside the foul-line.
O’Rourke.Yez is a quare birrud, Mr. Gus.
Santa.Yez, you have failed. And failed in such a way that the dread calamity which you have endeavored to avert is now nearer than before. What shall I do? WhatshallI do? Ah, that is the question; whether it were better to wed my daughter to this billy-goat and set at rest, at once, this most vexatious question, or look me further for a son-in-law. Ah! ha! I have a scheme! I’ll ask this man some questions in the presence of my vassals here. An examination I’ll conduct more strict than ever Civil Service knew. (toO’Rourke) Here sir, I would a word with you.
O’Rourke.All roight sor, apake out. Don’t be timid in the presence av royalty.
Santa.As the father of the girl, whose hand you seek in marriage, I claim the privilege of inquiring concerning your antecedents.
O’Rourke.Av coorse, av coorse.
Santa.Who was your great-grandfather?
O’Rourke.A man sor, and an Oirishman at that. He could foight sor loike a dog and drink the craythure loike a fish dhrinking wather. And such a jolly man he was too at a wake. Oi often wonder that the corpse itself didn’t come to loife to take a hand in the fistivities.
Santa.Your future prespect, sir, what are they? I mean—what shekels are at your command.
O’Rourke.A dollar and twenty kopecks is all Oi have at prisint, sor, but Oi have a political pull that can be cashed at a moment’s notice.
Santa.Your health is good of course; your digestion unimpaired?
O’Rourke.And was yez spaking of moy digestion now? Begorra, jist connect me wid a shquare meal and Oi’ll show yez phwat Oi can do in that same line, so Oi will.
Santa.Such a foolish act as that would only serve to bankrupt our kingdom. But one more question I would ask; dost ever gamble, drink or smoke?
O’Rourke.Naythur av the former sor, but on accasions whin Oi would be quite shwell Oi shmoke a cigarette or two.
Santa.Ah, fiend! Away with him!
Omnes.Shameful, shameful! A crime deserving death!
(Amazonsform a circle aroundO’Rourke
Mrs. C.(toKitty) My daughter, see what a fate thy rash infatuation would have consigned thee to.
Kitty.I’ll save him yet and reform him. That is the mission of a pretty girl; to make at least one man better.
WhileKittyis speaking Tableau curtain at back opens andErin,theGoddessof Ireland, appears. She steps majestically toC.of stage.
Erin.O’Rourke, thou’rt found at last,I’ve searched for thee both far and wideFor many hours past.Why from thine own native landTo this place didst thou roam?Come sir, come hence with me,I fain would see thee home.
Erin.O’Rourke, thou’rt found at last,I’ve searched for thee both far and wideFor many hours past.Why from thine own native landTo this place didst thou roam?Come sir, come hence with me,I fain would see thee home.
Erin.O’Rourke, thou’rt found at last,I’ve searched for thee both far and wideFor many hours past.Why from thine own native landTo this place didst thou roam?Come sir, come hence with me,I fain would see thee home.
O’Rourke.Yes, Oi want to go home, Oi want to go home; take me home—(stops suddenly) But what about Kitty?
Erin.Kitty? What hast thou to do with the child?
O’Rourke.She is going to be moy woife, ain’t youKitty, me darlint? Oi was going to make her moy queen, but Oi couldn’t even make a queen of moyself now.
Erin.Think of the maids of thy native isle,That emerald gem of the sea;Return at once and there we’ll findA fairer bride for thee.With eyes so bright and skin so fair,And voices like the linnet,Those Irish girls they beat the worldAnd Kitty isn’t in it.
Erin.Think of the maids of thy native isle,That emerald gem of the sea;Return at once and there we’ll findA fairer bride for thee.With eyes so bright and skin so fair,And voices like the linnet,Those Irish girls they beat the worldAnd Kitty isn’t in it.
Erin.Think of the maids of thy native isle,That emerald gem of the sea;Return at once and there we’ll findA fairer bride for thee.With eyes so bright and skin so fair,And voices like the linnet,Those Irish girls they beat the worldAnd Kitty isn’t in it.
Gus.Well now, that’s clevah, deucedly clevah, doncherno I believe I will emigrate myself.
O’Rourke.Yes, Oi know about them Oirish girruls; they are foine to be coorse, but they are not moine and Kitty is, and that makes all the difference in the wirruld.
Erin.O’Rourke, will you go?
O’Rourke.Kitty, will you go?
(Kittynods her head in assent
O’Rourke.Oi’ll pack me Saratogy and be wid ye in wan minute.
(exit,L. U. E.,followed byErin
Mrs. C.Kitty, you must not go. Think of your parents left languishing over your loss, living alone and childless in this land of eternal snow.
Santa.And if you must marry, why not marry Gussie? He is certainly a far handsomer and more suitable husband than this Irishman.
Gus.Oh! I say now, that’s clevah, deucedly clevah. I am agreeable and leave the matter entirely with Miss Kitty, doncherno.
Kitty.Bah! A dude lacks five points of being equal to no husband. I’ll marry amanor never wed. (sadly) Shall I go or stay? I can divide my love, but not myself, and—
TABLEAU.—Scene opens at back, showingO’Rourkedressed as in first act, with grip and cane in hand.Erintries to lead him away. He stretches one hand imploringly towardKitty,who moves slowly toward him and extends both her hands, one of whichO’Rourketakes.Mrs. Clausrushes forward and seizes the other and tries to lead her back.Santa Clausmakes a gesture commandingO’Rourketo begone.
CURTAIN.
THE END.
THEATRICAL
AND
Fancy Costume Wigs.
Attention is called to this List of
WIGS, BEARDS, MUSTACHES, WHISKERS, &c.
We employ a Wig-maker especially to manufacture goods forour trade, and can guarantee satisfaction. Allgoods made under our personal supervision.
In ordering be careful to state every particular,i. e., size, color, etc.Any wig for special character or occasion can be made to order.
BEARDS, WHISKERS, MUSTACHES, &c.
ARTICLES NEEDED BY AMATEURS.
MAKE YOUR OWN WIGS, BEARDS, MUSTACHES, Etc.PREPARED WOOL IN ALL COLORS. Per oz., 50c.
TABLEAUX LIGHTS.Our Tableaux Lights are very easily used and are of the best manufacture. Plainest directions accompany each. We have the following colors: Red, Green, Blue, and White. Price each, 25 cents.
COLORED FIRE IN BULK.Put up in one-half pound packages. Price per pound, $1.75; per half pound, $1.00.
MAGNESIUM TABLEAUX LIGHTS.A metal capable of being ignited by a common match, and burning with great brilliancy. This is the best light for moonlight and statuary. Price per package, 30 cents: per dozen, $2.50.
LIGHTNING FOR PRIVATE THEATRICALS.We will send a FLASH BOX and material for this purpose, with full printed directions for their use, to any address, for 50 cents. The effect produced by it will be found all that can be desired.
BLUE.For unshaven faces. This is very necessary in low comedy characters. Price per box, 25 cents.
PREPARED BURNT CORK.For Negro minstrels. This article we can recommend, as it can be taken off as easily as put on; in which it differs from most all others manufactured. Enough for 25 performances in each box. Price per box, 40 cents.
COCOA BUTTER.This article is necessary to every lady or gentleman whether on the stage or in private life, as it smoothes the skin and keeps it from chapping. It is a very handy means of removing the make-up, as a piece of Cocoa Butter passed over the face will loosen all adhesive matter so thoroughly as to admit of being wiped off the face at once and completely. Should be used before making up. Price, 25 cents.
CARMINE.For the face, and to heighten the effect of Burnt Cork in Negro characters. Price per box, 30 cents.
PREPARED DUTCH PINK.For pale, sallow, and wan complexions. Price per box, 25 cents.
CHROME.For sallow complexions, also for lightening the eyebrows, mustaches, etc. Price per box, 25 cents.
EMAIL NOIR.To stop out teeth for old men characters, witches, etc. Price, 40 cents.
PREPARED FULLER’S EARTH.To powder the face before “making up.” Price, 30 cents.
JOINING PASTE.For joining bald fronts of wigs to forehead. Price per stick, 15 cents.
MASCARO, or WATER COSMETIQUE.For darkening the eyebrows and mustaches, without greasing them, and making them prominent. Brown or black, 60 cents.
MONGOLIAN.For Indians, Mulattoes, etc. Price per box, 30 cents.
PASTE POWDER.To enlarge the shape of the nose for low comedy characters, etc. Price per box, 30 cents.
PREPARED NOSE PUTTY.Used for the same purpose as Paste Powder and used in the same way. Price, 25 cents.
RUDDY ROUGE.For sunburnt faces. Most essential for low comedy, country or seaman’s character. Price per box, 30 cents.
SPIRIT GUM.The best in use, prepared expressly for securing mustaches, etc. Price, 25 cents.
SKIN MUSTACHE MASKS.For hiding the mustache in powder costume pieces, negress characters, etc. Price, 15 cents.
POWDERED ANTIMONY.For shading the hollows of the eyes. Price per box, 30 cents.
PREPARED WHITING.For Pantomimes, Clown’s Faces, Statuary, etc. Price per box, 25 cents.
CREAM STICK PAINTS.
Done up in sticks 4 inches in length at 25 cents each; 8-inch sticks, 50 cents. Lining Colors, 4 inches long, at 10 cents each, except Carmine which is 15 cents.
A box of Cream Sticks, containing the following colors: Two shades of Flesh, one Black, one Brown, one Lake, one Crimson, one White, one Carmine, and a color for Shading Wrinkles, $1.00.
Book
FOUND AT LAST!
A Pocket Speller,Dictionary, andMemorandumBook Combined.
A Concise Description of
Thompson’s Pocket Speller.
It gives the right orthography of all words, (over 22,800) in common use, and in nearly every instance their definition. It also gives the right orthography of the given names of men and women, rules for the use of capitals and punctuation marks, abbreviations of names of states and territories, letters of introduction and recommendation, definition of commercial terms, forms of notes, due bills, receipts, letters of credit, orders for money, merchandise and goods stored, principal holidays, marriage anniversaries, combination of shades, and carefully selected laws of etiquette in social and business life, also a silicate slate for memorandums.
The Speller is bound in leather and indexed, and is of convenient size to be carried in vest pocket.
Reasons why this Speller and Dictionary is the most desirable book of its kind, and some of the many advantages it has over all others.