"Yes—lead them wisely—teach them that the seed, the germ of a new life, is maturing within them. Teach them that between the ages of eleven and fourteen this maturing process has certain physical signs. The breasts grow round and full, the whole body, even the voice, undergoes a change. It is right that they should be taught the natural law of life in reproduction and the physiological structure of their being. Again we repeat that these lessons should be taught by the mother, and in a tender, delicate and confidential way. Become, oh, mother, your daughter's companion, and she will not go elsewhere for this knowledge—which must come to all in time, but possibly too late and through sources that would prove more harm than good.
19.The Organs of Creative Lifein women are: Ovaries, Fallopian tubes, uterus, vagina and mammary glands. TheovariesandFallopian tubeshave already been described under "The Female Generative Organs."
"Theuterusis a pear-shaped muscular organ, situated in the lower portion of the pelvis, between the bladder and the rectum. It is less than three inches in length and two inches in width and one in thickness.
"Thevaginais a membranous canal which joins the internal outlet with the womb, which projects slightly into it. The opening into the vagina is nearly oval, and in those who have never indulged in sexual intercourse or in handling the sexual organs is more or less closed by a membrane termed thehymen. The presence of this membrane was formerly considered as undoubted evidence of virginity; its absence, a lack of chastity.
"Themammary glandsare accessory to the generative organs. They secrete milk, which the All-wise Gatherer provided for the nourishment of the child after birth.
20."Menstruation,which appears about the age of thirteen years, is the flow from the uterus that occurs every month as the seed-germ ripens in the ovaries. God made the sexual organs so that the race should not die out. He gave them to us so that we may reproduce life, and thus fill the highest position in the created universe. The purpose for which they are made is high and holy and honorable, and if they are used only for this purpose—and they must not be used at all until they are fully matured—they will be a source of greatest blessing to us all.
The Two Paths: What Will the Girl BecomeThe Two Paths: What Will the Girl Become?At 13 Bad Literature, At 20 Flirting Coquettery, At 26 Fast Life and Dissipation, At 40 An Outcast;At 13 Study & Obedience, At 20 Virtue & Devotion, At 26 A Loving Mother, At 60 An Honored Grandmother
The Two Paths: What Will the Girl Become?At 13 Bad Literature, At 20 Flirting Coquettery, At 26 Fast Life and Dissipation, At 40 An Outcast;At 13 Study & Obedience, At 20 Virtue & Devotion, At 26 A Loving Mother, At 60 An Honored Grandmother
21."A Careful Studyof this organ, of its location, of its arteries and nerves, will convince the growing girl that her body should never submit to corsets and tight lacing in response to the demands of fashion, even though nature has so bountifully provided for the safety of this important organ. By constant pressure the vagina and womb may be compressed into one-third their natural length or crowded into an unnatural position. We can readily see, then, the effect of lacing or tight clothing. Under these circumstances the ligaments lose their elasticity, and as a result we have prolapsus or falling of the womb.
22."I Am More Anxiousfor growing girls than for any other earthly object. These girls are to be the mothers of future generations; upon them hangs the destiny of the world in coming time, and if they can be made to understand what is right and what is wrong with regard to their own bodies now, while they are young, the children they will give birth to and the men and women who shall call them mother will be of a higher type and belong to a nobler class than those of the present day.
23."All Women Cannothave good features, but they can look well, and it is possible to a great extent to correct deformity and develop much of the figure. The first step to good looks is good health, and the first element of health is cleanliness. Keep clean—wash freely, bathe regularly. All the skin wants is leave to act, and it takes care of itself.
24."Girls Sometimes Get the Ideathat it is nice to be 'weak' and 'delicate,' but they cannot get a more false idea! God meant women to be strong and able-bodied, and only by being so can they be happy and capable of imparting happiness to others. It is only by being strong and healthy that they can be perfect in their sexual nature; and It is only by being perfect in this part of their being that you can become a noble, grand and beautiful woman.
25."Up to the Ageof puberty, if the girl has grown naturally, waist, hips and shoulders are about the same in width, the shoulders being, perhaps, a trifle the broadest. Up to this time the sexual organs have grown but little. Now they take a sudden start and need more room. Nature aids the girls; the tissues and muscles increase in size and the pelvis bones enlarge. The limbs grow plump, the girl stops growing tall and becomes round and full. Unsuspected strength comes to her; tasks that were once hard to perform are now easy; her voice becomes sweeter and stronger. The mind develops more rapidly even than the body; her brain is more active and quicker; subjects that once were dull and dry have unwonted interest; lessons are more easily learned; the eyes sparkle with intelligence, indicating increased mental power; her manner denotes the consciousness of new power; toys of childhood are laid away; womanly thoughts and pursuits fill her mind; budding childhood has become blooming womanhood. Now, if ever, must be laid the foundation of physical vigor and of a healthy body. Girls should realize the significance of this fact. Do not get the idea that men admire a weakly, puny, delicate, small-waisted, languid, doll-like creature, a libel on true womanhood. Girls admire men with broad chests, square shoulders, erect form, keen bright eyes, hard muscles and undoubted vigor. Men also turn naturally to healthy, robust, well-developed girls, and to win their admiration girls must meet their ideals. A good form, a sound mind and a healthy body are within the reach of nine out of ten of our girls by proper care and training. Physical bankruptcy may claim the same proportion if care and training are neglected.
26."A Woman Five Feet Tallshould measure two feet around the waist and thirty-three inches around the hips. A waist less than this proportion indicates compression either by lacing or tight clothing. Exercise in the open air, take long walks and vigorous exercise, using care not to overdo it. Housework will prove a panacea for many of the ills which flesh is heir to. One hour's exercise at the wash-tub is of far more value, from a physical standpoint, than hours at the piano. Boating is most excellent exercise and within the reach of many. Care in dressing is also important, and, fortunately, fashion is coming to the rescue here. It is essential that no garments be suspended from the waist. Let the shoulders bear the weight of all the clothing, so that the organs of the body may be left free and unimpeded.
27."Sleep Should be Hadregularly and abundantly. Avoid late hours, undue excitement, evil associations; partake of plain, nutritious food, and health will be your reward. There is one way of destroying health, which, fortunately, is not as common among girls as boys, and which must be mentioned ere this chapter closes. Self-abuse is practised among growing girls to such an extent as to arouse serious alarm. Many a girl has been led to handle and play with her sexual organs through the advice of some girl who has obtained temporary pleasure in that way; or, perchance, chafing has been followed by rubbing until the organs have become congested with blood, and in this accidental manner the girl discovered what seems to her a source of pleasure, but which, alas, is a source of misery, and even death.
28. "As In the Boy, So In the Girl, self-abuse causes an undue amount of blood to flow to those organs, thus depriving other parts of the body of its nourishment, the weakest part first showing the effect of want of sustenance. All that has been said upon this loathsome subject in the preceding chapter for boys might well be repeated here, but space forbids. Read that chapter again, and know that the same signs that betray the boy will make known the girl addicted to the vice. The bloodless lips, the dull, heavy eye surrounded with dark rings, the nerveless hand, the blanched cheek, the short breath, the old, faded look, the weakened memory and silly irritability tell the story all too plainly. The same evil result follows, ending perhaps in death, or worse, in insanity. Aside from the injury the girl does herself by yielding to this habit, there is one other reason which appeals to the conscience, and that is, self-abuse is an offence against moral law—it is putting to a vile, selfish use the organs which were given for a high, sacred purpose.
29. "Let Them Alone, except to care for them when care is needed, and they may prove the greatest blessing you have ever known. They were given you that you might become a mother, the highest office to which God has ever called one of His creatures. Do not debase yourself and become lower than the beasts of the field. If this habit has fastened itself upon any one of our readers, stop it now. Do not allow yourself to think about it, give up all evil associations, seek pure companions, and go to your mother, older sister, or physician for advice.
30. "And You, Mother, knowing the danger that besets your daughters at this critical period, are you justified in keeping silent? Can you be held guiltless if your daughter ruins body and mind because you weretoo modestto tell her the laws of her being? There is no love that is dearer to your daughter thanyours, no advice that is more respected thanyours, no one whose warning would be more potent. Fail not in your duty. As motherhood has been your sweetest joy, so help your daughter to make it hers."
YOUNG GARFIELD DRIVING TEAM ON THE CANAL
YOUNG GARFIELD DRIVING TEAM ON THE CANAL
1. With a shy look, approaching his mother when she was alone, the boy of fifteen said, "There are some things I want to ask you. I hear the boys speak of them at school, and I don't understand, and a fellow doesn't like to ask any one but his mother."
2. Drawing him down to her, in the darkness that was closing about them, the mother spoke to her son and the son to his mother freely of things which everybody must know sooner or later, and which no boy should learn from "anyone but his mother" or father.
3. If you do not answer such a natural question your boy will turn for answer to others, and learn things, perhaps, which your cheeks may well blush to have him know.
4. Our boys and girls are growing faster than we think. The world moves; we can no longer put off our children with the old nurses' tales; even MacDonald's beautiful statement,
"Out of the everywhere into the there",
"Out of the everywhere into the there",
"Out of the everywhere into the there",
does not satisfy them when they reverse his question and ask, "Where did I come from?"
5. They must be answered. If we put them off, they may be tempted to go elsewhere for information, and hear half-truths, or whole truths so distorted, so mingled with what is low and impure that, struggle against it as they may in later years, their minds will always retain these early impressions.
6. It is not so hard if you begin early. The very flowers are object lessons. The wonderful mystery of life is wrapped in one flower, with its stamens, pistils and ovaries. Every child knows how an egg came in the nest, and takes it as a matter of course; why not go one step farther with them and teach the wonder, the beauty, the holiness that surrounds maternity anywhere? Why, centuries ago the Romans honored, and taught their boys to honor, the women in whose safety was bound up the future of their existence as a nation! Why should we do less?
7. Your sons and mine, your daughters and mine, need to be wisely taught and guarded just along these lines, if your sons and mine, your daughters and mine, are to grow up into a pure, healthy, Christian manhood and womanhood.
Line Drawing of a Little Girl Kissing a Little Boy's Hand
Line Drawing of a Little Girl Kissing a Little Boy's Hand
8.[Footnote: This quotation is an appeal to mothers by Mrs. P.B. Saur, M.D.] "How grand is the boy who has kept himself undefiled! His complexion clear, his muscles firm, his movements vigorous, his manner frank, his courage undaunted, his brain active, his will firm, his self-control perfect, his body and mind unfolding day by day. His life should be one song of praise and thanksgiving. If you want your boy to be such a one, train him, my dear woman,to-day, and histo-morrowwill take care of itself.
9. "Think you that good seed sown will bring forth bitter fruit? A thousand times, No! As we sow, so shall we reap. Train your boys in morality, temperance and virtue. Teach them to embrace good and shun evil. Teach them the true from the false; the light from the dark. Teach them that when they take a thing that is not their own, they commit a sin. Teach them thatsin means disobedience of God's laws of every kind.
10. "God made every organ of our body with the intention that it should perform a certain work. If we wish to see, we use our eyes; if we want to hear, our ears are called into use. In fact, nature teaches us the proper use ofall our organs. I say to you, mother, and oh, so earnestly: 'Go teach your boy that which you may never be ashamed to do, about these organs that make himspecially a boy.'
11. "Teach him they are calledsexual organs; that they are not impure, but of special importance, and made by God for a definite purpose. Teach him that there are impurities taken from the system in fluid form called urine, and that it passes through the sexual organs, but that nature takes care of that. Teach him that these organs are given as a sacred trust, that in maturer years he may be the means of giving life to those who shall live forever.
12. "Impress upon him that if these organs are abused, or if they are put to any use besides that for which God made them—and He did not intend they should be used at all until man is fully grown—they will bring disease and ruin upon those who abuse and disobey the laws which God has made to govern them. If he has ever learned to handle hissexual organs, or to touch them in any way except to keep them clean, not to do it again. If he does he will not grow up happy, healthy and strong.
13. "Teach him that when he handles or excites the sexual organs all parts of the body suffer, because they are connected by nerves that run throughout the system; this is why it is called 'self-abuse.' The whole body is abused when this part of the body is handled or excited in any manner whatever. Teach them to shun all children who indulge in this loathsome habit, or all children who talk about these things. The sin is terrible, and is, in fact, worse than lying or stealing. For, although these are wicked and will ruin their souls, yet this habit of self-abuse will ruin both soul and body.
14. "If the sexual organs are handled, it brings too much blood to these parts, and this produces a diseased condition; it also causes disease in other organs of the body, because they are left with a less amount of blood than they ought to have. The sexual organs, too, are very closely connected with the spine and the brain by means of the nerves, and if they are handled, or if you keep thinking about them, these nerves get excited and become exhausted, and this makes the back ache, the brain heavy and the whole body weak.
15. "It lays the foundation for consumption, paralysis and heart disease. It weakens the memory, makes a boy careless, negligent and listless. It even makes many lose their minds; others, when grown, commit suicide. How often mothers see their little boys handling themselves, and let it pass, because they think the boy will outgrow the habit, and do not realize the strong hold it has upon them. I say to you who love your boys—'Watch!'
16. "Don't think it does no harm to your boy because he does not suffer now, for the effects of this vice come on so slowly that the victim is often very near death before you realize that he has done himself harm. The boy with no knowledge of the consequences, and with no one to warn him, finds momentary pleasure in its practice, and so contracts a habit which grows upon him, undermining his health, poisoning his mind, arresting his development, and laying the foundation for future misery.
17. "Do not read this book and forget it, for it contains earnest and living truths. Do not let false modesty stand in your way, but from this time on keep this thought in mind—'the saving of your boy.' Follow its teachings and you will bless God as long as you live. Read it to your neighbors, who, like yourself, have growing boys, and urge them for the sake of humanity to heed its advice.
18. "Right here we want to emphasize the importance ofcleanliness. We verily believe that oftentimes these habits originate in a burning and irritating sensation about the organs, caused by a want of thorough washing.
19. "It is worthy of note that many eminent physicians now advocate the custom of circumcision, claiming that the removal of a little of the foreskin induces cleanliness, thus preventing the irritation and excitement which come from the gathering of the whiteish matter under the foreskin at the beginning of the glands. This irritation being removed, the boy is less apt to tamper with his sexual organs. The argument seems a good one, especially when we call to mind the high physical state of those people who have practiced the custom.
20. "Happy is the mother who can feel she has done her duty, in this direction, while her boy is still a child. For those mothers, though, whose little boys have now grown to boyhood with the evil still upon them, andyou, through ignorance, permitted it, we would say, 'Begin at once; it is never too late.' If he has not lost all will power, he can be saved. Let him go in confidence to a reputable physician and follow his advice. Simple diet, plentiful exercise in open air and congenial employment will do much. Do not let the mind dwell upon evil thoughts, shun evil companions, avoid vulgar stories, sensational novels, and keep the thoughts pure.
21. "Let him interest himself in social and benevolent affairs, participate in Sunday-school work, farmers' clubs, or any organizations which tend to elevate and inspire noble sentiment. Let us remember that 'a perfect man is the noblest work of God.' God has given us a life which is to last forever, and the little time we spend on earth is as nothing to the ages which we are to spend in the world beyond; so our earthly life is a very important part of our existence, for it is here that the foundation is laid for either happiness or misery in the future. It is here that we decide our destiny, and our efforts to know and obey God's laws in our bodies as well as in our souls will not only bring blessings to us in this life, but never-ending happiness throughout eternity."
22.A Question.—How can a father chew and smoke tobacco, drink and swear, use vulgar language, tell obscene stories, and raise a family of pure, clean-minded children? LET THE ECHO ANSWER.
SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN, AND FORBID THEM NOT, TO COME UNTO ME: FOR OF SUCH IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, Matthew 19:14SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN, AND FORBID THEM NOT, TO COME UNTO ME: FOR OF SUCH IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, Matthew 19:14
SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN, AND FORBID THEM NOT, TO COME UNTO ME: FOR OF SUCH IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, Matthew 19:14SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN, AND FORBID THEM NOT, TO COME UNTO ME: FOR OF SUCH IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, Matthew 19:14
1. Not long ago a Presbyterian minister in Western New York whipped his three-year-old boy to death for refusing to say his prayers. The little fingers were broken; the tender flesh was bruised and actually mangled; strong men wept when they looked on the lifeless body. Think of a strong man from one hundred and fifty to two hundred pounds in weight, pouncing upon a little child, like a Tiger upon a Lamb, and with his strong arm inflicting physical blows on the delicate tissues of a child's body. See its frail and trembling flesh quiver and its tender nervous organization shaking with terror and fear.
2. How often is this the case in the punishment of children all over this broad land! Death is not often the immediate consequence of this brutality as in the above stated case, but the punishment is often as unjust, and the physical constitution of children is often ruined and the mind by fright seriously injured.
3. Everyone knows the sudden sense of pain, and sometimes dizziness and nausea follow, as the results of an accidental hitting of the ankle, knee or elbow against a hard substance, and involuntary tears are brought to the eyes; but what is such a pain as this compared with the pains of a dozen or more quick blows on the body of a little helpless child from the strong arm of a parent in a passion? Add to this overwhelming terror of fright, the strangulating effects of sighing and shrieking, and you have a complete picture of child-torture.
4. Who has not often seen a child receive, within an hour or two of the first whipping, a second one, for some small ebullition of nervous irritability, which was simply inevitable from its spent and worn condition?
5. Would not all mankind cry out at the inhumanity of one who, as things are to-day, should propose the substitution of pricking or cutting or burning for whipping? It would, however, be easy to show that small jabs or pricks or cuts are more human than the blows many children receive. Why may not lying be as legitimately cured by blisters made with hot coals as by black and blue spots made with a ruler or whip? The principle is the same; and if the principle is right, why not multiply methods?
6. How many loving mothers will, without any thought of cruelty, inflict half a dozen quick blows on the little hand of her child and when she could no more take a pin and make the same number of thrusts into the tender flesh, than she could bind the baby on a rack. Yet the pin-thrust would hurt far less, and would probably make a deeper impression on the child's mind.
Line Drawing of a Girl Handing a Spool of Thread to a Sewing Woman
Line Drawing of a Girl Handing a Spool of Thread to a Sewing Woman
7. We do not intend to be understood that a child must have everything that it desires and every whim and wish to receive special recognition by the parents. Children can soon be made to understand the necessity of obedience, and punishment can easily be brought about by teaching them self-denial. Deny them the use of a certain plaything, deny them the privilege of visiting certain of their little friends, deny them the privilege of the table, etc., and these self-denials can be applied according to the age and condition of the child, with firmness and without any yielding. Children will soon learn obedience if they see the parents are sincere. Lessons of home government can be learned by the children at home as well as they can learn lessons at school.
8. The trouble is, many parents need more government, more training and more discipline than the little ones under their control.
9. Scores of times during the day a child is told in a short, authoritative way to do or not to do certain little things, which we ask at the hands of elder persons as favors. When we speak to an elder person, we say, would you be so kind as to close the door, when the same person making the request of a child will say, "Shut the door." "Bring me the chair." "Stop that noise." "Sit down there." Whereas, if the same kindness was used towards the child it would soon learn to imitate the example.
10. On the other hand, let a child ask for anything without saying "please," receive anything without saying "thank you," it suffers a rebuke and a look of scorn at once. Often a child insists on having a book, chair or apple to the inconveniencing of an elder, and what an outcry is raised: "Such rudeness;" "Such an ill-mannered child;" "His parents must have neglected him strangely." Not at all: The parents may have been steadily telling him a great many times every day not to do these precise things which you dislike. But they themselves have been all the time doing those very things before him, and there is no proverb that strikes a truer balance between two things than the old one which weighs example over against precept.
11. It is a bad policy to be rude to children. A child will win and be won, and in a long run the chances are that the child will have better manners than its parents. Give them a good example and take pains in teaching them lessons of obedience and propriety, and there will be little difficulty in raising a family of beautiful and well-behaved children.
12. Never correct a child in the presence of others; it is a rudeness to the child that will soon destroy its self-respect. It is the way criminals are made and should always and everywhere be condemned.
13. But there are no words to say what we are or what we deserve if we do this to the little children whom we have dared for our own pleasure to bring into the perils of this life, and whose whole future may be blighted by the mistakes of our careless hands. There are thousands of young men and women to-day groaning under the penalties and burdens of life, who owe their misfortunes, their shipwreck and ruin to the ignorance or indifference of parents.
14. Parents of course love their children, but with that love there is a responsibility that cannot be shirked. The government and training of children is a study that demands a parent's time and attention often much more than the claims of business.
15. Parents, study the problems that come up every day in your home. Remember, your future happiness, and the future welfare of your children, depend upon it.
16.Criminals and Heredity.—Wm. M.F. Round was for many years in charge of the House of Refuge on Randall's Island, New York, and his opportunities for observation in the work among criminals surely make him a competent judge, and he says in his letter to the New York Observer: "Among this large number of young offenders I can state with entire confidence that not one per cent. were children born of criminal parents; and with equal confidence I am able to say that the common cause of their delinquency was found in bad parental training, in bad companionship, and in lack of wholesome restraint from evil associations and influences. It was this knowledge that led to the establishing of the House of Refuge nearly three-quarters of a century ago."
17.Bad Training.—Thus it is seen from one of the best authorities in the United States that criminals are made either by the indifference or the neglect of parents, or both, or by too much training without proper judgment and knowledge. Give your children a good example, and never tell a child to do something and then become indifferent as to whether they do it or not. A child should never be told twice to do the same thing. Teach the child in childhood obedience and never vary from that rule. Do it kindly but firmly.
18.If Your Children Do Not Obey or Respect Youin their childhood and youth, how can you expect to govern them when older and shape their character for future usefulness and good citizenship?
19.The Fundamental Rule.—Never tell a child twice to do the same thing. Command the respect of your children, and there will be no question as to obedience.
Line Drawing of a Woman with a Sport Racquet.
1.Chastityis the purest and brightest jewel in human character. Dr. Pierce in his widely knownMedical Advisersays: For the full and perfect development of mankind, both mental and physical, chastity is necessary. The health demands abstinence from unlawful intercourse. Therefore children should be instructed to avoid all impure works of fiction, which tend to inflame the mind and excite the passions. Only in total abstinence from illicit pleasures is there safety, morals, and health, while integrity, peace and happiness are the conscious rewards of virtue. Impurity travels downward with intemperance, obscenity and corrupting diseases, to degradation and death. A dissolute, licentious, free-and-easy life is filled with the dregs of human suffering, iniquity and despair. The penalties which follow a violation of the law of chastity are found to be severe and swiftly retributive.
2.The Unionof the sexes in holy Matrimony is a law of nature, finding sanction in both morals and legislation. Even some of the lower animals unite in this union for life and instinctively observe the law of conjugal fidelity with a consistency which might put to blush other animals more highly endowed. It seems important to discuss this subject and understand our social evils, as well as the intense passional desires of the sexes, which must be controlled, or they lead to ruin.
3.Sexual Propensitiesare possessed by all, and these must be held in abeyance, until they are needed for legitimate purposes. Hence parents ought to understand the value to their children of mental and physical labor, to elevate and strengthen the intellectual and moral faculties, to develop the muscular system and direct the energies of the blood into healthful channels. Vigorous employment of mind and body engrosses the vital energies and diverts them from undue excitement of the sexual desires.
Give your young people plenty of outdoor amusement; less of dancing and more of croquet and lawn tennis. Stimulate the methods of pure thoughts in innocent amusement, and your sons and daughters will mature to manhood and womanhood pure and chaste in character.
4.Ignorance Does Not Mean Innocence.—It is a current idea, especially among our good common people, that the child should be kept in ignorance regarding the mystery of his own body and how he was created or came into the world. This is a great mistake. Parents must know that the sources of social impurity are great, and the child is a hundred times more liable to have his young mind poisoned if entirely ignorant of the functions of his nature than if judiciously enlightened on these important truths by the parent. The parent must give him weapons of defense against the putrid corruption he is sure to meet outside the parental roof. The child cannot get through the A, B, C period of school without it.
5.Conflicting Views.—There is a great difference of opinion regarding the age at which the child should be taught the mysteries of nature: some maintain that he cannot comprehend the subject before the age of puberty; others say "they will find it out soon enough, it is not best to have them over-wise while they are so young. Wait a while." That is just the point (they will find it out), and we ask in all candor, is it not better that they learn it from the pure loving mother, untarnished from any insinuating remark, than that they should learn it from some foul-mouthed libertine on the street, or some giddy girl at school? Mothers! fathers! which think you is the most sensible and fraught with the least danger to your darling boy or girl?
6.Delay is Fraught With Danger.—Knowledge on a subject so vitally connected with moral health must not be deferred. It is safe to say that no child, no boy at least in these days of excitement and unrest, reaches the age of ten years without getting some idea of nature's laws regarding parenthood. And ninety-nine chances to one, those ideas will be vile and pernicious unless they come from a wise, loving and pure parent. Now, we entreat you, parents, mothers! do not wait; begin before a false notion has had chance to find lodgment in the childish mind. But remember this is a lesson of life, it cannot be told in one chapter, it is as important as the lessons of love and duty.
7.The First Lessons.—Should you be asked by your four or five-year old, "Mamma, where did you get me?" Instead of saying, "The doctor brought you," or "God made you and a stork brought you from Babyland on his back," tell him the truth as you would about any ordinary question. One mother's explanation was something like this: "My dear, you were not made any more than apples are made, or the little chickens are made. Your dolly was made, but it has no life like you have. God has provided that all living things such as plants, trees, little chickens, little kittens, little babies, etc., should grow from seeds or little tiny eggs. Apples grow, little chickens grow, little babies grow. Apple and peach trees grow from seeds that are planted in the ground, and the apples and peaches grow on the trees. Baby chickens grow inside the eggs that are kept warm by the mother hen for a certain time. Baby boys and girls do not grow inside an egg, but they start to grow inside of a snug warm nest, from an egg that is so small you cannot see it with just your eye." This was not given at once, but from time to time as the child asked questions and in the simplest language, with many illustrations from plant and animal life. It may have occupied months, but in time the lesson was fully understood.
8.The Second Lesson.—The second lesson came with the question, "Butwhereis the nest?" The ice is now broken, as it were; it was an easy matter for the mother to say, "The nest in which you grew, dear, was close to your mother's heart inside her body. All things that do not grow inside the egg itself, and which are kept warm by the mother's body, begin to grow from the egg in a nest inside the mother's body." It may be that this mother had access to illustrations of the babe in the womb which were shown and explained to the child, a boy. He was pleased and satisfied with the explanations. It meant nothing out of the ordinary any more than a primary lesson on the circulatory system did, it was knowledge on nature in its purity and simplicity taught by mother, and hence caused no surprise. The subject of the male and female generative organs came later; the greatest pains and care was taken to make it clear, the little boy was taught that thesexual organswere made for a high and holy purpose, that their office at present is only to carry off impurities from the system in the fluid form called urine, and that he must never handle hissexual organsnor touch them in any way except to keep them clean, and if he does this, he will grow up a bright, happy and healthy boy. But if he excites orabusesthem, he will become puny, sickly and unhappy. All this was explained in language pure and simple. There is now in the boy a sturdy base of character building along the line of virtue and purity through knowledge.
9.Silly Dirty Trash.—But I hear some mother say "Such silly dirty trash to tell a child!" It is not dirty nor silly; it is nature's untarnished truth. God has ordained that children should thus be brought into the world, do you call the works of God silly? Remember, kind mother, and don't forget it, if you fail to teach your children, boys or girls, these important lessons early in life, they will learn them from other sources, perhaps long ere you dream of it, and ninety-nine times out of one hundred they will get improper, perverted, impure and vile ideas of these important truths; besides you nave lost their confidence and you will never regain it in these matters. They will never come to mamma for information on these subjects. And, think you, that your son and daughter, later in life will make you their confidant as they ought? Will your beautiful daughter hand the first letters she receives from her lover to mamma to read, and seek her counsel and advice when she replies to them? Will she ask mamma whether it is ever proper to sit in her lover's lap? I think not; you have blighted her confidence and alienated her affections. You have kept knowledge from her that she had a right to know; you even failed to teach her the important truths of menstruation. Troubled and excited at the first menstrual flow, she dashed her feet in cold water hoping to stop the flow. You know the results—she is now twenty-five but is suffering from it to this day. You, her mother, over fastidious,so very niceyou would never mention "such silly trash" but by your consummate foolishness and mock modesty you have ruined your daughter's health, and though in later years she may forgive you, yet she can never love and respect you as she ought.
10."Knowledge the Preserver of Purity."—Laura E. Scammon, writing on this subject, in theArenaof November, 1893, says: "When questions arise that can not be answered by observation, reply to each as simply and directly as you answer questions upon other subjects, giving scientific names and facts, and such explanations as are suited to the comprehension of the child. Treat nature and her laws always with serious, respectful attention. Treat the holy mysteries of parenthood reverently, never losing sight of the great law upon which are founded all others—the law of love. Say it and sing it, play it and pray it into the soul of your child, thatlove is lord of all."
11.Conclusion of the Whole Matter.—Observation and common sense should teach every parent that lack of knowledge on these subjects and proper counsel and advice in later years is the main cause of so many charming girls being seduced and led astray, and so many bright promising boys wrecked byself-abuse or social impurity. Make your children your confidants early in life, especially in these things, have frequent talks with them on nature, and you will never, other things being equal, mourn over a ruined daughter or a wreckless, debased son.
1.Conversation before Children.—The conduct and conversation of adults before children and youth, how often have I blushed with shame, and kindled with indignation at the conversation of parents, and especially of mothers, to their children: "John, go and kiss Harriet, for she is your sweet-heart." Well may shame make him hesitate and hang his head. "Why, John, I did not think you so great a coward. Afraid of the girls, are you? That will never do. Come, go along, and hug and kiss her. There, that's a man. I guess you will love the girls yet." Continually is he teased about the girls and being in love, till he really selects a sweet-heart.
2.The Loss of Maiden Purity and Natural Delicacy.—I will not lift the veil, nor expose the conduct of children among themselves. And all this because adults have filled their heads with those impurities which surfeit their own. What could more effectually wear off that natural delicacy, that maiden purity and bashfulness, which form the main barriers against the influx of vitiated Amativeness? How often do those whose modesty has been worn smooth, even take pleasure in thus saying and doing things to raise the blush on the cheek of youth and innocence, merely to witness the effect of this improper illusion upon them; little realizing that they are thereby breaking down the barriers of their virtue, and prematurely kindling the fires of animal passion!
3.Balls. Parties and Amusements.—The entire machinery of balls and parties, of dances and other amusements of young people, tend to excite and inflame this passion. Thinking it a fine thing to get in love, they court and form attachments long before either their mental or physical powers are matured. Of course, these young loves, these green-house exotics, must be broken off, and their miserable subjects left burning up with the fierce fires of a flaming passion, which, if left alone, would have slumbered on for years, till they were prepared for its proper management and exercise.
4.Sowing the Seeds for Future Ruin.—Nor is it merely the conversation of adults that does all this mischief; their manners also increase it. Young men take the hands of girls from six to thirteen years old, kiss them, press them, and play with them so as, in a great variety of ways, to excite their innocent passions, combined, I grant, with friendship and refinement—for all this is genteely done. They intend no harm, and parents dream of none: and yet their embryo love is awakened, to be again still more easily excited. Maiden ladies, and even married women, often express similar feelings towards lads, not perhaps positively improper in themselves, yet injurious in their ultimate effects.