12.Homely Menare admired by women if they are large, strong and vigorous and possess a good degree of intelligence. Looks are trifles compared with the other qualities which man may possess.
13.Young Man, If you desire to win the love and admiration of young ladies, first, be intelligent; read books and papers; remember what you read, so you can talk about it. Second, be generous and do not show a stingy and penurious disposition when in the company of ladies. Third, be sensible, original, and have opinions of your own and do not agree with everything that someone else says, or agree with everything that a lady may say. Ladies naturally admire genteel and intelligent discussions and conversations when there is someone to talk with who has an opinion of his own. Woman despises a man who has no opinion of his own; she hates a trifling disposition and admires leadership, original ideas, and looks up to man as a leader. Women despise all men whom they can manage, overrule, cow-down and subdue.
14.Be Self-Supporting.—The young man who gives evidence of thrift is always in demand. Be enthusiastic and drive with success all that you undertake. A young man, sober, honest and industrious, holding a responsible position or having a business of his own, is a prize that some bright and beautiful young lady would like to draw. Woman admires a certainty.
15.Uniformed Men.—It is a well known fact that women love uniformed men. The soldier figures as a hero in about every tale of fiction and it is said by good authority that a man in uniform has three more chances to marry than the man without uniform. The correct reason is, the soldier's profession is bravery, and he is dressed and trained for that purpose, and it is that which makes him admired by ladies rather than the uniform which he wears. His profession is also that of a protector.
Head Shot of a WomanWhat Men Love in Women.
Head Shot of a WomanWhat Men Love in Women.
1.Female Beauty.—Men love beautiful women, for woman's beauty is the highest type of all beauty. A handsome woman needs no diamonds, no silks or satins; her brilliant face outshines diamonds and her form is beautiful in calico.
2.False Beautifiers.—Man's love of female beauty surpasses all other love, and whatever artificial means are used to beautify, to a certain extent are falsehoods which lead to distrust or dislike. Artificial beauty is always an imitation, and never can come into competition with the genuine. No art can successfully imitate nature.
3.True Kind of Beauty.—Facial beauty is only skin deep. A beautiful form, a graceful figure, graceful movements and a kind heart are the strongest charms in the perfection of female beauty. A brilliant face always outshines what may be called a pretty face, for intelligence is that queenly grace which crowns woman's influence over men. Good looks and good and pure conduct awaken a man's love for women. A girl must therefore be charming as well as beautiful, for a charming girl will never become a charmless wife.
4.A Good Female Body.—No weakly, poor-bodied woman can draw a man's love like a strong, well developed body. A round, plump figure with an overflow of animal life is the woman most commonly sought, for nature in man craves for the strong qualities in women, as the health and life of offspring depend upon the physical qualities of wife and mother. A good body and vigorous health, therefore, become indispensable to female beauty.
5.Broad Hips.—A woman with a large pelvis gives her a superior and significant appearance, while a narrow pelvis always indicate weak sexuality. The other portions of the body however must be in harmony with the size and breadth of the hips.
6.Full Busts.—In the female beauty of physical development there is nothing that can equal full breasts. It is an indication of good health and good maternal qualities. As a face looks bad without a nose, so the female breast, when narrow and flat, produces a bad effect. The female breasts are the means on which a new-born child depends for its life and growth, hence it is an essential human instinct for men to admire those physical proportions in women which indicate perfect motherhood. Cotton and all other false forms simply show the value of natural ones. All false forms are easily detected, because large natural ones will generally quiver and move at every step, while the artificial ones will manifest no expression of life. As woman looks so much better with artificial paddings and puffings than she does without, therefore modern society should waive all objections to their use. A full breast has been man's admiration through all climes and ages, and whether this breast-loving instinct is right or wrong, sensible or sensual, it is a fact well known to all, that it is a great disappointment to a husband and father to see his child brought up on a bottle. Men love full breasts, because it promotes maternity. If, however, the breasts are abnormally large, it indicates maternal deficiency the same as any disproportion or extreme.
7.Small Feet.—Small feet and small ankles are very attractive, because they are in harmony with a perfect female form, and men admire perfection. Small feet and ankles indicate modesty and reserve, while large feet and ankles indicate coarseness, physical power, authority, predominance. Feet and ankles however must be in harmony with the body, as small feet and small ankles on a large woman would be out of proportion and consequently not beautiful.
8.Beautiful Arms.—As the arm is always in proportion with the other portions of the body, consequently a well-shaped arm, small hands and small wrists, with full muscular development, is a charm and beauty not inferior to the face itself, and those who have well-shaped arms may be proud of them, because they generally keep company with a fine bust and a fine figure.
9.Intelligence.—A mother must naturally possess intelligence, in order to rear her children intelligently, consequently it is natural for man to chiefly admire mental qualities in women, for utility and practicability depend upon intelligence. Therefore a man generally loves those charms in women which prepare her for the duties of companionship. If a woman desires to be loved, she must cultivate her intellectual gifts, be interesting and entertaining in society, and practical and helpful in the home, for these are some of the qualifications which make up the highest type of beauty.
10.Piety and Religion in Women.—Men who love home and the companionship of their wives, love truth, honor and honesty. It is this higher moral development that naturally leads them to admire women of moral and religious natures. It is therefore not strange that immoral men love moral and church-loving wives. Man naturally admires the qualities which tend to the correct government of the home. Men want good and pure children, and it is natural to select women who insure domestic contentment and happiness. A bad man, of course, does not deserve a good wife, yet he will do his utmost to get one.
11.False Appearance.—Men love reserved, coy and discreet women much more than blunt, shrewd and boisterous. Falsehood, false hair, false curls, false forms, false bosoms, false colors, false cheeks, and all that is false, men naturally dislike, for in themselves they are a poor foundation on which to form family ties, consequently duplicity and hypocrisy in women is very much disliked by men, but a frank, honest, conscientious soul is always lovable and lovely and will not become an old maid, except as a matter of choice and not of necessity.
Flourish
Flourish
A Wedding PartyHistory of Marriage
A Wedding PartyHistory of Marriage
1. "It is not good for man to be alone," was the Divine judgment, and so God created for him an helpmate; therefore sex is as Divine as the soul.
2.Polygamy.—Polygamy has existed in all age is and always has been the result of moral degradation and wantonness.
3.The Garden of Eden.—The Garden of Eden was no harem. Primeval nature knew no community of love; there was only the union of two souls, and the twain were made one flesh. If God had intended man to be a polygamist he would have created for him two or more wives; but he only created one wife for the first man. He also directed Noah to take into the ark two of each sort—a male and female—another evidence that God believed in pairs only.
4.Abrahamno doubt was a polygamist, and the general history of patriarchal life shows that the plurality of wives and concubinage were national customs, and not the institutions authorized by God.
5.Egyptian History.—Egyptian history, in the first ostensible form we have, shows that concubinage and polygamy were in common practice.
6.Solomon.—It is not strange that Solomon, with his thousand wives, exclaimed: "All is vanity and vexation of spirit." Polygamy is not the natural state of man.
7.Concubinage and Polygamycontinued till the fifth century, when the degraded condition of woman became to some extent matters of some concern and recognition. Before this woman was regarded simply as an instrument of procreation, or a mistress of the household, to gratify the passions of man.
8.The Chinesemarriage system was, and is, practically polygamous, for from their earliest traditions we learn, although a man could have but one wife, he was permitted to have as many concubines as he desired.
9.Mohammedanism.—Of the 150,000,000 Mohammedans all are polygamists. Their religion appeals to the luxury of animal propensities, and the voluptuous character of the Orientals has penetrated western Europe and Africa.
10.Mormonism.—The Mormon Church, founded by Joseph Smith, practiced polygamy until the beginning of 1893, when the church formally declared and resigned polygamy as a part or present doctrine of their religious institution. Yet all Mormons are polygamists at heart. It is a part of their religion; national law alone restrains them.
11.Free Lovers.—There is located at Lenox, Madison County, New York, an organization popularly known as Free Lovers. The members advocate a system of complex marriage, a sort of promiscuity, with a freedom of love for any and all. Man offers woman support and love; woman enjoying freedom, self-respect, health, personal and mental competency, gives herself to man in the boundless sincerity of an unselfish union. In their system, love is made synonymous with sexuality, and there is no doubt, but what woman is only a plaything to gratify animal caprice.
12.Monogamy (Single Wife), is a law of nature evident from the fact that it fulfills the three essential conditions of man, viz.: the development of the individual, the welfare of society and reproduction. In no nation with a system of polygamy do we find a code of political and moral rights, and the condition of woman is that of a slave. In polygamous countries nothing is added to the education and civilization. The natural tendency is sensualism, and sensualism tends to mental starvation.
18.Christian Civilizationhas lifted woman from slavery to liberty. Wherever Christian civilization prevails there are legal marriages, pure homes and education. May God bless the purity of the home.
"Thus grief still treads upon the heel of pleasure,Married in haste we may repent at leisure."—SHAKESPEARE
"Thus grief still treads upon the heel of pleasure,Married in haste we may repent at leisure."—SHAKESPEARE
"Thus grief still treads upon the heel of pleasure,
Married in haste we may repent at leisure."
—SHAKESPEARE
The parties are wedded. The priest or clergyman has pronounced as one those hearts that before beat in unison with each other. The assembled guests congratulate the happy pair. The fair bride has left her dear mother bedewed with tears and sobbing just as if her heart would break, and as if the happy bridegroom was leading her away captive against her will. They enter the carriage. It drives off on the wedding tour, and his arms encircles the yielding waist of her now all his own, while her head reclines on the breast of the man of her choice. If she be young and has married an old man, she will be sad. If she has married for a home, or position, or wealth, a pang will shoot across her fair bosom. If she has married without due consideration or on too light an acquaintance, it will be her sorrow before long. But, if loving and beloved, she has united her destiny with a worthy man, she will rejoice, and on her journey feel a glow of satisfaction and delight unfelt before and which will be often renewed, and daily prove as the living waters from some perennial spring.
Woman in Wedding DressThe Advantages of Wedlock
Woman in Wedding DressThe Advantages of Wedlock
'Tis sweet to hear the watch-dog's honest bark,Bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw near home'Tis sweet to know there is an eye will markOur coming, and look brighter when we come.BYRON, DON JUAN
'Tis sweet to hear the watch-dog's honest bark,Bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw near home'Tis sweet to know there is an eye will markOur coming, and look brighter when we come.BYRON, DON JUAN
'Tis sweet to hear the watch-dog's honest bark,
Bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw near home
'Tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark
Our coming, and look brighter when we come.
BYRON, DON JUAN
1. Marriage is the natural state of man and woman. Matrimony greatly contributes to the wealth and health of man.
2. Circumstances may compel a man not to select a companion until late in life. Many may have parents or relatives, dependent brothers and sisters to care for, yet family ties are cultivated; notwithstanding the home is without a wife.
3. In Christian countries the laws of marriage have greatly added to the health of man. Marriage in barbarous countries, where little or no marriage ceremonies are required, benefits man but little. There can be no true domestic blessedness without loyalty and love for the select and married companion. All the licentiousness and lust of a libertine, whether civilized or uncivilized, bring him only unrest and premature decay.
4. A man, however, may be married and not mated, and consequently reap trouble and unhappiness. A young couple should first carefully learn each other by making the courtship a matter of business, and sufficiently long that the disposition and temper of each may be thoroughly exposed and understood.
5. First see that there is love; secondly, that there is adaptation; thirdly, see that there are no physical defects, and if these conditions are properly considered, cupid will go with you.
6. The happiest place on all earth is home. A loving wife and lovely children are jewels without price, as Payne says:
"'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam.Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."
"'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam.Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."
"'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam.
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."
7. Reciprocated love produces a general exhilaration of the system. The elasticity of the muscles is increased, the circulation is quickened, and every bodily function is stimulated to renewed activity by a happy marriage.
8. The consummation desired by all who experience this affection, is the union of souls in a true marriage. Whatever of beauty or romance there may have been in the lover's dream, is enhanced and spiritualized in the intimate communion of married life. The crown of wifehood and maternity is purer, more divine than that of the maiden. Passion is lost—emotions predominate.
9.Too Early Marriages.—Too early marriage is always bad for the female. If a young girl marries, her system is weakened and a full development of her body is prevented, and the dangers of confinement are considerably increased.
10. Boys who marry young derive but little enjoyment from the connubial state. They are liable to excesses and thereby lose much of the vitality and power of strength and physical endurance.
11.Long Life.—Statistics show that married men live longer than bachelors. Child-bearing for women is conducive to longevity.
An Algerian Bride
12.Complexion.—Marriage purifies the complexion, removes blotches from the skin, invigorates the body, fills up the tones of the voice, gives elasticity and firmness to the step, and brings health and contentment to old age.
13.Temptations Removed.—Marriage sanctifies a home, while adultery and libertinism produce unrest, distrust and misery. It must be remembered that a married man can practice the most absolute continence and enjoy a far better state of health than the licentious man. The comforts of companionship develop purity and give rest to the soul.
14.Total Abstention.—It is no doubt difficult for some men to fully abstain from sexual intercourse and be entirely chaste in mind. The great majority of men experience frequent strong sexual desire. Abstention is very apt to produce in their minds voluptuous images and untamable desires which require an iron will to banish or control. The hermit in his seclusion, or the monk in his retreat, are often flushed with these passions and trials. It is, however, natural; for remove these passions and man would be no longer a man. It is evident that the natural state of man is that of marriage; and he who avoids that state is not in harmony with the laws of his being.
15.Prostitution.—Men who inherit strong passions easily argue themselves into the belief either to practice masturbation or visit places of prostitution, on the ground that their health demands it. Though medical investigation has proven it repeatedly to be false, yet many believe it. The consummation of marriage involves the mightiest issues of life and is the most holy and sacred right recognized by man, and it is the Balm of Gilead for many ills. Masturbation or prostitution soon blight the brightest prospects a young man may have. Manhood is morality and purity of purpose, not sensuality.
1. To live the life of a bachelor has many advantages and many disadvantages. The man who commits neither fornication, adultery nor secret vice, and is pure in mind, surely has all the moral virtues that make a good man and a good citizen, whether married or unmarried.
2. If a good pure-minded man does not marry, he will suffer no serious loss of vital power; there will be no tendency to spermatorrhoea or congestion, nor will he be afflicted with any one of those ills which certain vicious writers and quacks would lead many people to believe. Celibacy is perfectly consistent with mental vigor and physical strength. Regularity in the habits of life will always have its good effects on the human body.
3. The average life of a married man is much longer than that of a bachelor. There is quite an alarming odds in the United States in favor of a man with a family. It is claimed that the married man lives on an average from five to twenty years longer than a bachelor. The married man lives a more regular life. He has his meals more regularly and is better nursed in sickness, and in every way a happier and more contented man. The happiness of wife and children will always add comfort and length of days to the man who is happily married.
4. It is a fact well answered by statistics that there is more crime committed, more vices practiced, and more immorality among single men than among married men. Let the young man be pure in heart like Bunyan's Pilgrim, and he can pass the deadly dens, the roaring lions, and overcome the ravenous fires of passion, unscathed. The vices of single men support the most flagrant of evils of modern society, hence let every young man beware and keep his body clean and pure. His future happiness largely depends upon his chastity while a single man.
Row of Women Holding Infants in Front of Made in USA SignMade in U.S.A.
Row of Women Holding Infants in Front of Made in USA SignMade in U.S.A.
Young Woman Sitting in Easy Chair SewingI WILL NEVER MARRY."
Young Woman Sitting in Easy Chair SewingI WILL NEVER MARRY."
1.Modern Origin.—The prejudice which certainly still exists in the average mind against unmarried women must be of comparatively modern origin. From the earliest ages to ancient Greece, and Rome particularly, the highest honors were paid them. They were the ministers of the old religions, and regarded with superstitious awe.
2.Matrimony.—Since the reformation, especially during the last century, and in our own land, matrimony has been so much esteemed, notably by women, that it has come to be regarded as in some sort discreditable for them to remain single. Old maids are mentioned on every hand with mingled pity and disdain, arising no doubt from the belief, conscious or unconscious, that they would not be what they are if they could help it. Few persons have a good word for them as a class. We are constantly hearing of lovely maidens, charming wives, buxom widows, but almost never of attractive old maids.
3.Discarding Prejudice.—The real old maid is like any other woman. She has faults necessarily, though not those commonly conceived of. She is often plump, pretty, amiable, interesting, intellectual, cultured, warm-hearted, benevolent, and has ardent friends of both sexes. These constantly wonder why she has not married, for they feel that she must have had many opportunities. Some of them may know why; she may have made them her confidantes. She usually has a sentimental, romantic, frequently a sad and pathetic past, of which she does not speak unless in the sacredness of intimacy.
4.Not Quarrelsome.—She is not dissatisfied, querulous nor envious. On the contrary, she is, for the most part, singularly content, patient and serene,—more so than many wives who have household duties and domestic cares to tire and trouble them.
5.Remain Single from Necessity.—It is a stupid, as well as a heinous mistake, that women who remain single do so from necessity. Almost any woman can get a husband if she is so minded, as daily observation attests. When we see the multitudes of wives who have no visible signs of matrimonial recommendation, why should we think that old maids have been totally neglected? We may meet those who do not look inviting. But we meet any number of wives who are even less inviting.
6.First Offer.—The appearance and outgiving of many wives denote that they have accepted the first offer; the appearance and outgiving of many old maids that they have declined repeated offers. It is undeniable, that wives, in the mass, have no more charm than old maids have, in the mass. But, as the majority of women are married, they are no more criticised nor commented on, in the bulk, than the whole sex are. They are spoken of individually as pretty or plain, bright or dull, pleasant or unpleasant; while old maids are judged as a species, and almost always unfavorable.
I HAVE CHANGED MY MINDI HAVE CHANGED MY MIND.
I HAVE CHANGED MY MINDI HAVE CHANGED MY MIND.
7.Becomes a Wife.—Many an old maid, so-called, unexpectedly to her associates becomes a wife, some man of taste, discernment and sympathy having induced her to change her state. Probably no other man of his kind has proposed before, which accounts for her singleness. After her marriage hundreds of persons who had sneered at her condition find her charming, thus showing the extent of their prejudice against feminine celibacy. Old maids in general, it is fair to presume, do not wait for opportunities, but for proposers of an acceptable sort. They may have, indeed they are likely to have, those, but not to meet these.
8.No Longer Marry for Support.—The time has changed and women have changed with it. They have grown more sensible, more independent in disposition as well as circumstances. They no longer marry for support; they have proved their capacity to support themselves, and self-support has developed them in every way. Assured that they can get on comfortably and contentedly alone they are better adapted by the assurance for consortship. They have rapidly increased from this and cognate causes, and have so improved in person, mind and character that an old maid of to-day is wholly different from an old maid of forty years ago.
CONVINCING HIS WIFE.
CONVINCING HIS WIFE.
1.Early Marriages.—Women too early married always remain small in stature, weak, pale, emaciated, and more or less miserable. We have no natural nor moral right to perpetuate unhealthy constitutions, therefore women should not marry too young and take upon themselves the responsibility, by producing a weak and feeble generation of children. It is better not to consummate a marriage until a full development of body and mind has taken place. A young woman of twenty-one to twenty-five, and a young man of twenty-three to twenty-eight, are considered the right age in order to produce an intelligent and healthy offspring. "First make the tree good, then shall the fruit be good also."
2. If marriage is delayed too long in either sex, say from thirty to forty-five, the offspring will often be puny and more liable to insanity, idiocy, and other maladies.
3.Puberty.—This is the period when childhood passes from immaturity of the sexual functions to maturity. Woman attains this state a year or two sooner than man. In the hotter climates the period of puberty is from twelve to fifteen years of age, while in cold climates, such as Russia, the United States, and Canada, puberty is frequently delayed until the seventeenth year.
4.Diseased Parents.—We do the race a serious wrong in multiplying the number of hereditary invalids. Whole families of children have fallen heir to lives of misery and suffering by the indiscretion and poor judgment of parents. No young man in the vigor of health should think for a moment of marrying a girl who has the impress of consumption or other disease already stamped upon her feeble constitution. It only multiplies his own suffering, and brings no material happiness to his invalid wife. On the other hand, no healthy, vigorous young woman ought to unite her destiny with a man, no matter how much she adored him, who is not healthy and able to brave the hardships of life. If a young man or young woman with feeble body cannot find permanent relief either by medicine or change of climate, no thoughts of marriage should be entertained. Courting a patient may be pleasant, but a hard thing in married life to enjoy. The young lady who supposes that any young man wishes to marry her for the sake of nursing her through life makes a very grave mistake.
Life Insurance Companies Demand Physical Examination. Why Not Matrimony?Life Insurance Companies Demand Physical Examination.Why Not Matrimony?
Life Insurance Companies Demand Physical Examination. Why Not Matrimony?Life Insurance Companies Demand Physical Examination.Why Not Matrimony?
5.Whom to Choose for a Husband.—The choice of a husband requires the coolest judgment and the most vigilant sagacity. A true union based on organic law is happiness, but let all remember that oil and water will not mix: the lion will not lie down with the lamb, nor can ill-assorted marriages be productive of aught but discord.
"Let the woman takeAn elder than herself, so wears she to him—So sways she, rules in her husband's heart."
"Let the woman takeAn elder than herself, so wears she to him—So sways she, rules in her husband's heart."
"Let the woman take
An elder than herself, so wears she to him—
So sways she, rules in her husband's heart."
Look carefully at the disposition.—See that your intended Spouse is kind-hearted, generous, and willing to respect the opinions of others, though not in sympathy with them. Don't marry a selfish tyrant who thinks only of himself.
6.Be Careful.—Don't marry an intemperate man with a view of reforming him. Thousands have tried it and failed. Misery, sorrow and a very hell on earth have been the consequences of too many such generous undertakings.
7.The True and Only Testwhich any man should look for in woman is modesty in demeanor before marriage, absence both of assumed ignorance and disagreeable familiarity, and a pure and religious frame of mind. Where these are present, he need not doubt that he has a faithful and a chaste wife.
8.Marrying First Cousinsis dangerous to offspring. The observation is universal, the children of married first cousins are too often idiots, insane, clump-footed, crippled, blind, or variously diseased. First cousins are always sure to impart all the hereditary disease in both families to their children. If both are healthy there is less danger.
9.Do Not Choose One Too Good,or too far above you, lest the inferior dissatisfying the superior, breed those discords which are worse than the trials of a single life. Don't be too particular; for you might go farther and fare worse. As far as you yourself are faulty, you should put up with faults. Don't cheat a consort by getting one much better than you can give. We are not in heaven yet, and must put up with their imperfections, and instead of grumbling at them, be glad they are no worse; remembering that a faulty one is a great deal better than none, if he loves you.
10.Marrying for Money.—Those who seek only the society of those who can boast of wealth will nine times out of ten suffer disappointment. Wealth cannot manufacture true love nor money buy domestic happiness. Marry because you love each other, and God will bless your home. A cottage with a loving wife is worth more than a royal palace with a discontented and unloving queen.
11.Difference in Age.—It is generally admitted that the husband should be a few years older than the wife. The question seems to be how much difference. Up to twenty-two those who propose marriage should be about the same age; however, other things being equal, a difference of fifteen years after the younger is twenty-five, need not prevent a marriage. A man of forty-five may marry a woman of twenty-five much more safely than one of thirty a girl below nineteen, because her mental sexuality is not as mature as his, and again her natural coyness requires more delicate and affectionate treatment than he is likely to bestow. A girl of twenty or under should seldom if ever marry a man of thirty or over, because the love of an elderly man for a girl is more parental than conjugal; while hers for him is like that of a daughter to a father. He may pet, flatter and indulge her as he would a grown-up daughter, yet all this is not genuine masculine and feminine love, nor can she exert over him the influence every man requires from his wife.
12.The Best Time.—All things considered, we advise the male reader to keep his desires in check till he is at least twenty-five, and the female not to enter the pale of wedlock until she has attained the age of twenty. After those periods, marriage is the proper sphere of action, and one in which nearly every individual is called by nature to play his proper part.
13.Select Carefully.—While character, health, accomplishments and social position should be considered, yet one must not overlook mental construction and physical conformation. The rule always to be followed in choosing a life partner isidentity of taste and diversity of temperament. Another essential is that they be physically adapted to each other. For example: The pelvis—that part of the anatomy containing all the internal organs of gestation—is not only essential to beauty and symmetry, but is a matter of vital importance to her who contemplates matrimony, and its usual consequences. Therefore, the woman with a very narrow and contracted pelvis should never choose a man of giant physical development lest they cannot duly realize the most important of the enjoyments of the marriage state, while the birth of large infants will impose upon her intense labor pains, or even cost her her life.
EXPLAINING THE NEED OF A NEW HAT.
EXPLAINING THE NEED OF A NEW HAT.
1.Love.—Let it ever be remembered that love is one of the most sacred elements of our nature, and the most dangerous with which to tamper. It is a very beautiful and delicately contrived faculty, producing the most delightful results, but easily thrown out of repair—like a tender plant, the delicate fibers of which incline gradually to entwine themselves around its beloved one, uniting two willing hearts by a thousand endearing ties, and making of "twain one flesh": but they are easily torn asunder, and then adieu to the joys of connubial bliss!
2.Courting by the Quarter.—This courting by the quarter, "here a little and there a little," is one of the greatest evils of the day. This getting a little in love with Julia, and then a little with Eliza, and a little more with Mary,—this fashionable flirtation and coquetry of both sexes—is ruinous to the domestic affections; besides, effectually preventing the formation of true connubial love. I consider this dissipation of the affections one of the greatest sins against Heaven, ourselves, and the one trifled with, that can be committed.
3.Frittering Away Affections.—Young men commence courting long before they think of marrying, and where they entertain no thoughts of marriage. They fritter away their own affections, and pride themselves on their conquests over the female heart; triumphing in having so nicely fooled them. They pursue this sinful course so far as to drive their pitiable victims, one after another, from respectable society, who, becoming disgraced, retaliate by heaping upon them all the indignities and impositions which the fertile imagination of woman can invent or execute.
4.Courting Without Intending to Marry.—Nearly all this wide-spread crime and suffering connected with public and private licentiousness and prostitution, has its origin in these unmeaning courtships—this premature love—this blighting of the affections, and every young man who courts without intending to marry, is throwing himself or his sweet-heart intothis hell upon earth.And most of the blame rests on young men, because they take the liberty of paying their addresses to the ladies and discontinuing them, at pleasure, and thereby mainly cause this vice.
5.Setting Their Caps.—True, young ladies sometimes "set their caps," sometimes court very hard by their bewitching smiles and affectionate manners; by the natural language of love, or that backward reclining and affectionate roll of the head which expresses it; by their soft and persuasive accents; by their low dresses, artificial forms, and many other unnatural and affected ways and means of attracting attention and exciting love; but women never court till they have been in love and experienced its interruption, till their first and most tender fibres of love have been frost-bitten by disappointment. It is surely a sad condition of society.
MotherhoodMOTHERHOOD
MotherhoodMOTHERHOOD
6.Trampling the Affections of Women.—But man is a self-privileged character. He may not only violate the laws of his own social nature with impunity, but he may even trample upon the affections of woman. He may even carry this sinful indulgence to almost any length, and yet be caressed and smiled tenderly upon by woman; aye, even by virtuous woman. He may call out, only to blast the glowing affections of one young lady after another, and yet his addresses be cordially welcomed by others. Surely a gentleman is at perfect liberty to pay his addresses, not only to a lady, but even to the ladies, although he does not once entertain the thought of marrying his sweet-heart, or, rather his victim. O, man, how depraved! O, woman, how strangely blind to your own rights and interests!
7.An Infallible Sign.—An infallible sign that a young man's intentions are improper, is his trying to excite your passions. If he loves you, he will never appeal to that feeling, because he respects you too much for that. And the woman who allows a man to take advantage of her just to compel him to marry her, is lost and heartless in the last degree, and utterly destitute of moral principle as well as virtue. A woman's riches is her virtue, that gone she has lost all.
8.The Beginning of Licentiousness.—Man it seldom drives from society. Do what he may, woman, aye, virtuous and even pious woman rarely excludes him from her list of visitors. But where is the point of propriety?—immoral transgression should exclude either sex from respectable society. Is it that one false step which now constitutes the boundary between virtue and vice? Or rather, the discovery of that false step? Certainly not! but it is all that leads to, and precedes and induces it. It is this courting without marrying. This is the beginning of licentiousness, as well as its main, procuring cause, and therefore infinitely worse than its consummation merely.
9.Searing the Social Affections.—He has seared his social affections so deeply, so thoroughly, so effectually, that when, at last, he wishes to marry, he is incapable of loving. He marries, but is necessarily cold-hearted towards his wife, which of course renders her wretched, if not jealous, and reverses the faculties of both towards each other; making both most miserable for life. This induces contention and mutual recrimination, if not unfaithfulness, and imbitters the marriage relations through life; and well it may.
10.Unhappy Marriages.—This very cause, besides inducing most of that unblushing public and private prostitution already alluded to, renders a large proportion of the marriages of the present day unhappy. Good people mourn over the result, but do not once dream of its cause. They even pray for moral reform, yet do the very things that increase the evil.
11.Weeping Over Her Fallen Son.—Do you see yonder godly mother, weeping over her fallen son, and remonstrating with him in tones of a mother's tenderness and importunity? That very mother prevented that very son marrying the girl he dearly loved, because she was poor, and this interruption of his love was the direct and procuring cause of his ruin; for, if she had allowed him to marry this beloved one, he never would have thought of giving his "strength unto strange women." True, the mother ruined her son ignorantly, but none the less effectually.
12.Seduction and Ruin.—That son next courts another virtuous fair one, engages her affections, and ruins her, or else leaves her broken-hearted, so that she is the more easily ruined by others, and thus prepares the way for her becoming an inmate of a house "whose steps take hold on hell." His heart is now indifferent, he is ready for anything.
13.The Right Principle.—I say then, with emphasis, that no man should ever pay his addresses to any woman, until he has made his selection, not even to aid him in making that choice. He should first make his selection intellectually, and love afterward. He should go about the matter coolly and with judgment, just as he would undertake any other important matter. No man or woman, when blinded by love, is in a fit state to judge advantageously as to what he or she requires, or who is adapted to his or her wants.
14.Choosing First and Loving Afterwards.—I know, indeed, that this doctrine of choosing first and loving afterward, of excluding love from the councils, and of choosing by and with the consent of the intellect and moral sentiments, is entirely at variance with the feelings of the young and the customs of society; but, for its correctness, I appeal to the common-sense—not to the experience, for so few try this plan. Is not this the only proper method, and the one most likely to result happily? Try it.
15.The Young Woman's Caution.—And, especially, let no young lady ever once think of bestowing her affections till she is certain they will not be broken off—that is, until the match is fully agreed upon, but rather let her keep her heart whole till she bestows it for life. This requisition is as much more important, and its violation as much more disastrous to woman than to man, as her social faculties are stronger than his.
16.A Burnt Child Dreads the Fire.—As a "burnt child dreads the fire," and the more it is burnt, the greater the dread: so your affections, once interrupted, will recoil from a second love, and distrust all mankind. No! you cannot be too choice of your love—that pivot on which turn your destinies for life and future happiness.