That Monsieur the Baron de GuldenstubbeHad taken too much out of a bottle or tub,
That Monsieur the Baron de GuldenstubbeHad taken too much out of a bottle or tub,
That Monsieur the Baron de Guldenstubbe
Had taken too much out of a bottle or tub,
but this I will say, that his account seems to be nothing more or less than a veryexactdescription of some "dissolving view" trick played off upon the baron and others by some clever French neighbour; and as to hisdream, it is surely hardly worth while to notice such nonsense, as dreams are now well understood to be only the imperfect operations of the organs of thought, in a semi-dormant state, "half asleep and half awake," and are the effect sometimes of agreeable sensations or painful emotions, during the waking hours, and may be produced to any disagreeable amount by eating a very hearty supper of underdone "pork pies," and going to sleep on the back instead of reclining on the side. We cannot dream of anything of which we have not seen or had something of a similar kind before, nor can we form either awake or in a dream any form whatever—animate or inanimate, which does not partake or form some part of nature's general objects; and in fact we cannotinventan animal form without combining the parts of existing animals either of man or beast. I trust that thisfactwill be a sufficient answer for Monsieur Caron. And then, as to the "laying" of this ghost, it does seem to me to be extraordinary, that any person possessed of common understanding in these days, let their religion be what it may, should believe that theAlmighty Godwould not let a departed spiritrest, until "masses" had been said for the soul of such person; until somemoney had been paidto a priest to mumble over a few set forms of prayer.Paidfor prayers—prayers at a certain market price! Then, as to the "white cravat," "white waistcoat," "high stiff shirt collar," and "black frock coat," and more particularly the "heavy white cane," is it to be understood that these said "masses" put all these materials to rest, as well as the soul or spirit of the body? If not, where did they go to? Had they to return to purgatory by themselves—had the heavy white walking-stick to walk off without its owner?
In the frame of mind in which thisstoryis written, it is not at all surprising that the author should have taken so much trouble to put thesefactstogether, and that he should evidently be altogether so satisfied with the conclusion which he arrives at. But ghost stories, like many other matters, where a foundation is once laid and established in falsehood or nonsense, such builders may go on, adding any amount of the same materials, upon this false basis. They may go on,working in the dark—piling up onestoryupon another, until the structure assumes the appearance in the dusk of a well-established and substantial edifice, and looking as if it would stand firm for ever; but undermine this apparently stronghold, with that which is always considered as a greatbore, when used in working under the foundations of long-established error or prejudice, namely,Truth, guided bytrue Religion, and when thus armed and prepared, "spring the mine" with a good "blow-up" ofcommon sense, to let in the light of Heaven and Christian civilized intelligence, and the whole mass of ignorance and superstition is blown and scattered to the winds, "like the baseless fabric of a vision."
It may be said that the truth of this ghoststoryrests mainly on astick—leansupon a "heavy white cane." Take away thecaneand down comes the ghost! "white waistcoat," "high stiff shirt collar," "black coat," "blue eyes," and all!
The author of "Footfalls on the Boundary of another World" is evidently a religious man, and had he but thought as deeply upon these matters as I have done, I am sure he would never have been guilty of the impiety of bringing forward such questions as to thespiritualityof walking-sticks. But I am well pleased that this "heavy white cane" has been introduced here, because it affords me a handle to cane or to knock down and drive away entirely these hideous and unnatural myths; and also because it enables me tostickto the text, and to introduce here to the public an old friend, as another illustration bearing upon the stick question. This is the apparition of one Tom Straitshank, drawn, as you will see, by your humble servant.
A man with peg legs.
This was a jolly bold daring spirit, and was seen when on board theVictoryat the battle of Trafalgar to emerge, like Monsieur Caron, out of some light bluish vapour, very much like the smoke of gunpowder; and in that battle it appears, like one of the heroes in "Chevy Chase," his "legs were smitten off!" but, unlike that warrior, he found thathecould not fight "upon his stumps," so he had a pair of wooden legs made, and having bought two stout walking-sticks, was thus enabled to hobble about on his "timber toes." He almost always appeared in various different parts of "Greenwich Hospital," and very often surrounded by, and sometimes emerging from, a vapour very like the smoke of tobacco. I feel here that I ought to have given Tom his pipe, but the drawing of this tar was done many years since, and until I read Mrs. Crowe's book lately, I was not aware that ghosts smoked their pipes, but it actually appears that they do smoke, for at page 210 of "The Night-side of Nature," a ghost is introduced with a "short pipe," and it was found out that the reason of his "walking by night" was, that he owed "asmall debt for tobacco!"
And when this little bacca-bill was paid,This ghost, with his little bacca-pipe, was "laid;"
And when this little bacca-bill was paid,This ghost, with his little bacca-pipe, was "laid;"
And when this little bacca-bill was paid,
This ghost, with his little bacca-pipe, was "laid;"
and we may suppose the spiritlaiddown his pipe. This ghost of a tobacco-pipe raises the question of what these spiritual pipes are made—of what clay, or if the Meer Schum are onlymere shams; what sort of tobacco-leaves their cigars are made of, and if there are any spiritual "cabbage-leaves" mixed up with them.
Yes, we'd just like to know, what weed 'tis they burns,Whether "Shortcut," "Shag," "Bird's eye," or "Returns."
Yes, we'd just like to know, what weed 'tis they burns,Whether "Shortcut," "Shag," "Bird's eye," or "Returns."
Yes, we'd just like to know, what weed 'tis they burns,
Whether "Shortcut," "Shag," "Bird's eye," or "Returns."
As the gentshere, light their pipes and cigars with a kind ofLucifermatch, we may be pretty sure that they will continue to do soelsewhere; but one would like to know also if ghosts chaw tobacco, if they take a quid of "pig-tail," and if the smokers use spittoons—faugh!—and further, as ghosts do smoke, if they take a pinch of snuff, if there is such a thing as spiritual snuff, if there be such things as the spirit of "Irish blaguard" and "Scotch rappee?"
Some of these "sensation" melodramas, or ratherfarces, might vie in the number of nights in which the performances took place, with some of the "sensation" or popular theatrical pieces of the present day. Here is one entitled, "The Drummer of Tedworth" (what a capital heading for a "play bill!"), in which the ghost or evil spirit of a drummer, or the ghost of a drum (for it does not appear clearly which of the two it was), performed the principal part in this drama, with slight intervals, for "two entire years."
Oh! this drummer, oh! this drummer,I'll tell you what he used to do,He used to beat upon his drum,The "Old Gentleman'stattoo."
Oh! this drummer, oh! this drummer,I'll tell you what he used to do,He used to beat upon his drum,The "Old Gentleman'stattoo."
Oh! this drummer, oh! this drummer,
I'll tell you what he used to do,
He used to beat upon his drum,
The "Old Gentleman'stattoo."
The "plot" runs thus:—In March, 1661, Mr. Mompesson, a magistrate, caused a vagrant drummer to be arrested, who had been annoying the country by noisy demands for charity, and had ordered his drum, "oh that drum!" to be taken from him and left in the bailiff's hands. About the middle of April following (that is in 1661), when Mr. Mompesson was preparing for a journey to London, the bailiff sent the drum to his house. Upon his return home he was informed that noises had beenheard, and then he heard the noises himself, which were a "thumping anddrumming" accompanied by "a strange noise and hollow sound." The sign of it when it came, was like a hurling in the air, over the house, and at its going off, the beating of a drum, like that at the "breaking up of a guard."
"After a month's disturbanceoutsidethe house ('which was most of it of board') it cameinto the room where the drum lay." "For an hour together it would beat 'Roundheads and cockolds,' the 'tattoo,' and several other points of war, as well as any drummer." Upon one occasion, "when many were present, a gentleman said, 'Satan, if the drummer set thee to work, givethreeknocks,' which it did very distinctly and no more." And for further trial, he bid it for confirmation, if it were the drummer, to givefiveknocks and no more that night, which it did, and left the house quiet all the night after.
All this seems very strange, about this drummer and his drum,But for myself, I really think this drumming ghost was "all a hum."
All this seems very strange, about this drummer and his drum,But for myself, I really think this drumming ghost was "all a hum."
All this seems very strange, about this drummer and his drum,
But for myself, I really think this drumming ghost was "all a hum."
But strange as it certainly was, is it not still more strange, that educated gentlemen, and even clergymen, as in this case also, should believe that theAlmightywould suffer an evil spirit to disturb and affright a whole innocent family, because the head of that family had, in his capacity as magistrate, thought it his duty to take away adrum, from no doubt a drunken drummer, who by his noisy conduct had become a nuisance and an annoyance to the neighbourhood?
The next case of supposed spiritual antics was not the drumming of a drum, but a tune upon a warming-pan, the "clatter" of "a warming-pan," and a vast variety of otherearthlysounds, which it was proved to have been heard at the Rev. Samuel Wesley's, who was the father of the celebrated John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, at a place called Epworth, in Lincolnshire. These sounds consisted of "knockings," and "groanings," of "footsteps," and "rustling of silk trailing along" (the "rustling of silk" seems to be a favourite air with the ghosts), "clattering" of the "iron casement," and "clattering" of the "warming-pan," and then as if a "vessel full of silver was poured upon Mrs. Wesley's breast and ran jingling down to her feet;" and all sorts of frightful noises, not only enough to "frighten anybody," but which frightened even a big dog!—a large mastiff, who used at first, when he heard the noises, "to bark and leap and snap on one side and the other, and that frequently before any person in the room heard the noises at all; but after two or three days, he used to tremble and creep away before the noise began. And by this, the family knew it was at hand; nor did the observation ever fail." Poor bow woo! what cruel ghosts to be sure, to go and frighten a poor dog in this way.
Mrs. Wesley at one time thought it was "rats, and sent for ahorntoblowthem away;" but blowing the horn did not blow the ghosts away. No; for at first it only came at night, but after the horn was blown it came in the daytime as well.
There were many opinions offered as to the cause of these disturbances, by different persons at different times. Dr. Coleridge "considered it to be a contagious nervous disease, the acme or intensest form of which is catalepsy." Mr. Owen here asks if the mastiff was cataleptic also? It is rather curious that acatis mentioned in this narrative. Now supposing thedogcould not have beencataleptic, the cat might perhaps have been so.
Some of the Wesley family believed it to be supernatural hauntings, and give the following reason for it:—It appears that at morning and evening family prayers, "when the Rev. Samuel Wesley, the father, commenced the prayer for the king, a knocking began all round the room, and a thundering knock attended theAmen." Mr. Wesley observed that his wife did not sayamento the prayer for the king. She said she could not, for she did not believe that the Prince of Orange was king. Mr. Wesley vowed he could not live with her until she did. He took his horse and rode away, and she heard nothing of him for a twelvemonth. He then came back and lived with her, as before, and although he did so, they add, that they fear this vow was not forgotten beforeGod.
If any religious persons were asked whether they thought that any law, natural or divine, could be suspended or set aside without the permission or sanction of theCreator, their answer would be, nay,mustbe,certainly not. Yes, this would be their answer. Then is it not extraordinary that the members of this pious clergyman's family, and from whence sprang the founder of such a large and respectable religious sect, should have such a mean idea of theSupreme Being, as to suppose thatHewould allow the regular laws of the universe to be suspended or set aside, and whole families (including unoffending innocent children) to be disturbed, terrified, and sometimes seriously injured, for such contemptible, ridiculous, and senseless reasons, or purposes, such as those assigned in the various cases already alluded to. It is indeed to me surprising that any one possessing an atom of sound Christian religion, can suppose and maintain for one moment that these silly, supposed supernatural sounds and appearances can be, as they say, "ofGod."
We may defy the supporters of this apparition doctrine to bring forward one circumstance in connection with these ghosts, which corresponds in any way with the real character of theCreator, where any real benefit has been known to result from such sounds and such appearances—none, none, none; whereas we know that there has been a large amount of human suffering, illness, folly, and mischief, and in former times, we know, to a large and serious extent, but even now, in this "age of intellect," when we come to investigate the causes of some of the most painful diseases amongst children and young persons, particularly young females, we find, on the authority of the first medical men, that they are occasioned by being frightened by mischievous, thoughtless, or cruel persons, mainly in consequence of beingtaught in their childhood to believe in ghosts. I know a young lady who, when a child, was placed in a dark closet by her nurse, and so terrified in this way that the poor little girl lost her speech, and has been dumb ever since. Dr. Elliotson, in one of his reports of the Mesmeric Hospital, cites several most distressing and painful cases of "chorea," or St. Vitus's dance, and dreadful fits, brought on through fright; and Dr. Wood, physician to St. Luke's Hospital (for lunatics), assures me that many cases of insanity are produced by terror from these causes; but even supposing that there are not very many cases of positive insanity brought on in this way, still the unnatural excitement thus acting on the brain, or the mind dwelling upon such matters, must have an unhealthy tendency.
If all rational and religious persons will give this subject the attention which it demands, they will, I feel confident, see, that this belief in ghosts should not only be discountenanced, but put an end to altogether, if possible, as such notions not only have an injurious effect upon the health and comfort of many persons, particularly those of tender age, but it also debases the proper ideas which man ought to have of theCreator; and not only so, but it also interferes with and trenches upon that mysterious and sacred question,the immortality of the soul; that it disturbs that belief which, with a firm trust and reliance upon the goodness and mercy ofGod, is the only consolation the afflicted mind can have, when mourning for the loss of those they have loved dearer than themselves.
These hauntings of drumming and knocking, and thumping and bumping, with thundering noises, almost shaking the houses down, accompanied by thedelicaterustlings of silk andtrailingof gowns, etc., were at the time suspected of beingtricks; and by the perusal of the following cases the reader will see that such trickscanandhavebeen played, and such imposture carried on so successfully as to deceive clergymen and others; and but for the severenaturaltests brought to bear upon the supposed supernatural actors, would no doubt have been quoted by Mr. Owen and others as well-attested, well-established, veritable spiritual performances.
At the corner of a street which runs from Snow Hill into Smithfield, stands whatIconsider a public nuisance, commonly called a "public-house," the sign of "The Cock," and that which is now a street was formerly a rustic lane, and took its name from the sign of that house, and therefore called to this day "Cock Lane," which locality, in about the years 1754 to 1756, became one of the most celebrated places in London, in consequence, as it was believed, of one of the houses therein being taken possession of by a female ghost, who was designated "the Cock Lane ghost."
A man of the name of Parsons kept the house, and in which lodged a gentleman and his wife of the name of Kempe. This lady died at this house, and after her death it was given out by Parsons that his daughter, then eleven years of age (who used to sleep with Mrs. Kempe when her husband was out of town), was "possessed" with the spirit of the deceased lady, and that the spirit had informed the little girl that she had been murdered by her husband—that she had been "poisoned!" A vast number of respectable ladies and gentlemen, including clergymen, were "taken in"—but happily for themselves not "done for"—by this ghost; and it is said that even the celebrated Dr. Samuel Johnson wasconvincedof the spirituality of the "knocks" which the ghost gave in answer to questions, for it kept up conversations in precisely the same manner—that is, by "knocks" or "raps"—as the "spirit-rappers" do at the present day. The "scratchings" and "knocks" were only heard when Parson's little daughter was in bed.
After this sort of thing had gone on for a considerable time, and apost-mortemexamination of the body of the supposed murdered lady, which had been deposited in the vaults of St. John's, Clerkenwell Close, Mr. Kempe found it necessary to take steps to defend his character. The child was removed to the house of a highly-respectable lady, where "not a sound was heard," no "scratchings" or "knocks," for several nights; but the girl Parsons, who was now a year or two older, upon going to bed one night informed the watchers that the ghost would pay a visit the following morning; but the servants of the house informed the watchers that the young lady had taken a bit of wood, six inches long by four inches broad, into bed with her, which she had concealed in her stays. This bit of wood was used to "stand the kettle on." The imposture was discovered, and the poor girl confessed to the wicked trickery which herparentshad taught her to practise!
Mr. Kempe indicted Parsons and others for conspiracy against his life and character, the case was tried before Lord Mansfield at Guildhall, July 10th, 1756, and all the parties convicted. The Rev. Mr. More and a printer, with others, were heavily fined. Parsons was set in the pillory three times in one month and imprisoned for two years, his wife for one year, and Mary Eraser, the "Medium," for six months in Bridewell, and kept to hard labour. It came out in the course of investigation that Master Parsons had borrowed some money of Mr. Kempe, and it was rather suspected that he did not want to pay it back again.
Another celebrated spiritual farce was enacted in 1810, entitled "The Sampford Ghost." This is a village near Tiverton, in Devonshire, and the following striking performances were "attested byaffidavitof the Rev. C. Cotton," who, by the by, was of opinion that "a belief in ghosts is favourable to virtue."
Imprimis, "stamping on the boards answered by similar sounds underneath the flooring, and these sounds followed the persons through the upper apartments and answered the stamping of the feet. The servant women were beaten in bed 'with a fist,' a candlestick thrown at the master's head but did not hit him, heard footsteps, no one could be seen walking round, candles were alight but could see no one, but steps were heard 'like a man's foot in a slipper,' with rapping at the doors, etc. etc. After this the servants were slapped, pushed, and buffeted. The bed was more than once stuck full of pins, loud repeated knockings were heard in all the upper rooms, the house shook, the windows rattled in their casements, and all the horrors of the most horrible of romances were accumulated in this devoted habitation." Amongst other things it wasdeclaredby a man, of the rather suspicious name of "Dodge," that the prentice boy had seen "an old woman descend through the ceiling."
The house was tenanted by a man of the name of Chave, a huckster. The landlord was a Mr. Tully, who determined to investigate this matter himself, and went to sleep, or rather to pass the night, at the house for this purpose. The account says that "he took with him a reasonable degree of scepticism, a considerable share of common sense;" and I believe a good thick stick, which is, in my opinion, a much more powerful instrument inlayingthese kinds of ghosts than the old-fashioned remedy of "bell, book, and candle."
When Mr. Tully went to the house he saw "Dodge" speaking to Mrs. Chave in the shop, and also saw him leave the house; but when he went up stairs by himself who should he see but this same "Dodge," who had got up stairs by a private entrance, but who could notdodgeout of Mr. Tully's way. So Mr. Tully pounced upon him and locked him in the room, where he also found a mopstick "battered at the end into splinters and covered with whitewash," and this was the ghost that answered the stamping on the floors. Mr. Tully went to bed, and as no ghosts thumped he went to sleep and had a good night's rest; and upon examining the house the next day, found the ceilings below in "a state of mutilation," from the ghostly thumps it had received.
Tho cause of the house beinghauntedwas a conspiracy on the part of Chave and his friends to get the house at avery low rent, ashewould not mind living on the promises, but other persons would not, of course, be likely to take a "haunted house."
A drunken mob one day met and assaulted Chave after this trick was exposed, and he took refuge in his "haunted house," from whence he fired a pistol and shot one man dead. Another man was also killed at the same time, thus two lives were sacrificed to this "Sampford ghost." The Rev. C. Cotton died shortly after this ghost was discovered to be a flam, orshamghost; it was supposed of chagrin and vexation at being made abuttof by the vulgar for his simplicity and credulity.
Another sensation farce was "The Stockwell Ghost," which performed its tricks very cleverly and successfully at a farm-house in that place in the year 1772. It broke nearly every bit of glass, china, and crockery in the house, and no discovery was made at the time of thehow, thewhy, or thewherefore. But in "The Every Day Book," edited and published by W. Hone, the whole matter is explained in the confession of a woman who lived at the house as servant girl at the time, and who played the part of the ghost so well, that she escaped detection, and came off, only suspected by a few.
The inutility of attempting to do away entirely with this popular belief in ghosts byarguments, however well founded on reason and science, has already been hinted at; but it will be only fair thatscienceshould just put a word in, as it can do no harm and may do good.
In "Sketches of the Philosophy of Apparition, or an Attempt to Trace such Illusions to their Physical Causes, by Samuel Hibbert, M.D., F.R.S.E.," the author states his opinion to be that "Apparitions are nothing more than ideas or recollected images of the mind, which have been rendered more vivid than actual impressions," perhaps by morbid affections. It is also pointed out that "in ghost stories of a supposed supernatural character which by disease are rendered so unduly intense as to induce spectral illusions, may be traced to such fantastical objects of prior belief as are incorporated in the various systems of superstition which for ages have possessed the minds of the vulgar." "Spectral illusions arise from a highly excited state of the nervous irritability acting generally upon the system, or from inflammation of the brain."
"The effect induced on the brain by intoxication from ardent spirits, which have a strong tendency to inflame this organ, is attended with very remarkable effects. These have lately been described as symptoms of 'delirium tremens.' Many cases are recorded which show the liability of the patient to long-continued spectral impressions."
Sir David Brewster represents these phenomena as images projected on the retina—from the brain, and seen with the eyes open or shut.
Of the many causes assigned for spectral illusions the following may be enumerated:—Holy ecstasies, various diseases of the brain, diseases of the eye, extreme sensibility or nervous excitement from fright, various degrees of fever, effects of opium, delirium tremens, ignorance and superstition, catalepsy, and confused, indistinct, or uncomprehended natural causes. Now all persons who suppose they see ghosts are at liberty to select any of the foregoing causes for their being so deluded, for delusion it is, as I hope presently to prove; but they may rest assured that these supposed spectres are always produced either by disease or by over-excited imagination, which in some cases it may be said amounts to disease.
A very fat man walking on a tightrope.
However, to return to the ghosts. A very common, or ratherthecommon, idea of a ghost is generally a verythinandscraggyfigure; but if there are such things there must befatghosts as well asthinghosts; fat or thin people are equally eligible "to put in an appearance" of this sort if they can; and to carry out this idea and make it quite clear, I here introduce an old acquaintance of the public, Mr. Daniel Lambert, as he appeared tomyun-excited imagination whilst engaged on this work. Now if Daniel came as an apparition, he must, according to the authorities in these matters, not only "come in his habits as he lived," that is, in the clothes he wore, but must also come in hisfat, or he would not be recognized as the fattest man "and the heaviest man that ever lived," and although he weighed "52 stone 11 pounds" (14 lb. to the stone) in the flesh, in the spirit, he would, of course, be "as light as a feather," or rather an "air bubble;" and as he could not dance and jump about when alive, I thought if I brought him in as a ghost, I'd give him a bit of a treat, and let him dance upon the "tight rope."
Most persons will remember a story told by "Pliny the younger" of the apparition of "an old" man appearing to Athenadorous, a Greek scholar. This ghost was "lean, haggard, anddirty," with "dishevelled hair and a long beard." He had "chains on," and came "shaking his chains" at the Greek scholar, who heeded him not, but went on with his studies. The old ghost, however, "came close to him and shook his chains over his head as he sat at the table," whereupon Athenadorous arose and followed the dirty old man in his chains, who went into the courtyard and "stamped his foot upon a stone about the centre of it, and—disappeared." The Greek scholar marked the spot, and next day had the place dug up, when, lo and behold, they found there the skeleton of a human being.
Going back to the days of "Pliny the younger" is going back far enough into early history for my purpose, which is to show that the notions about apparitions which prevailed at that period are the same as those of the present day, that is, of theirappearing in the dresses they wore in their life-time, in every minute particular, as toform,colour, andcondition,neworold, as the case might be; but to prevent any mistake upon this head, I will just add some few words from thatreliableauthority, Defoe, who, you will have already remarked, isexceedingly particularas to the exactness of every article of dress; but in what follows he goes far beyond any other writer on this subject, for instance he says, "We see them dressed in the very clothes which we havecuttopieces, and given away, some to one body, some to another, or applied to this or that use, so that we cangive an account of every rag of them. We can hear them speaking with the same voice and sound, though the organ which formed their former speech we are sure is perished and gone."
From the various instances of the appearance of apparitions which have been brought before the reader, it will, I presume, be admitted that abundant and sufficient proof has been given that the writers about ghosts, and all those who have professed to have seen ghosts, declare thatthey appear in the dresses which they wore in their lifetime; but from all I have been able to learn, it does not appear that from the days of Pliny the younger down to the days of Shakespeare, and from thence down to the present time, THAT ANY ONE HAS EVER THOUGHT OF THE GROSS ABSURDITY, AND IMPOSSIBILITY, OF THERE BEING SUCH THINGS AS GHOSTS OF WEARING APPAREL, IRON ARMOUR, WALKING STICKS, AND SHOVELS! NO, NOT ONE, except myself, and this I claim as my DISCOVERY CONCERNING GHOSTS, and that therefore it follows, as a matter of course, that as ghostscannot,must not,dare not, for decency's sake, appear WITHOUT CLOTHES; and as there can be no such things AS GHOSTS OR SPIRITS OF CLOTHES, why, then, it appears that GHOSTS NEVER DID APPEAR, AND NEVER CAN APPEAR, at any rate not in the way in which they have been hitherto supposed toappear.
And now let us glance at thematerialquestion, or question ofmaterialism.
In the year 1828, a work was published, entitled "Past Feelings Renovated; or,Ideasoccasioned by the perusal ofDr. Hibbert's PhilosophyofApparitions," which the author says were "written with the view of counteracting any sentiments approachingmaterialism, which that work, however unintentional on the part of the author, may have a tendency to produce." The author of "Past Feelings Renovated" is a firm believer in apparitions, who generally "come in theirhabitsas they lived;" and in his preface he says, "The general tendency of Dr. Hibbert's work, and evident fallacy of many of the arguments in support of opinions too nearly approaching 'materialism,' induced me to give the subject thatserious considerationwhich it imperatively demands."
This author, it will be perceived, is very much opposed to anything like "materialism" in relation to this question, and is strongly in favour of "spiritualism," but will he be so good as to tell us what "a pair of Buckskins" are made of? and whata pair of Top-bootsare made of? and whether these materials arespiritualizedby any process, or whether THE CLOTHES WE WEAR ON OUR BODIES BECOME A PART AND PARCEL OF OUR SOULS? And as it is clearly impossible for spirits to wear dresses made of thematerialsof theearth, we should like to know if there are spiritual-outfitting shops for the clothing of ghosts who pay visits on earth, and if empty, haunted houses are used for this purpose, in the same way as the establishments, and after the manner of "Moses and Son," or "Hyam Brothers," or such like houses of business, or if so, then there must be also thespiritof woollen cloth, thespiritof leather, thespiritof a coat, thespiritof boots and shoes. There must also be thespiritof trousers,spiritsof gaiters, waistcoats, neckties,spiritsof buckles, for shoes and knees;spiritof buttons, "bright gilt buttons;"spiritsof hats, caps, bonnets, gowns, and petticoats;spiritsof hoops and crinoline, andghost'sstockings. Yes; only think of theghostsof stockings, but if the ghost of a lady had to make her appearance here, she could not present herself before company without her shoes and stockings, sothere must be
GHOSTS OF STOCKINGS.
Two long stockings hanging on a clothesline.
Most persons will surely feel some hesitation in accepting the assertions made by Defoe, that ghosts appear in clothes that have been cut up, or distributed in different places, or destroyed, or that they come in the same garments that are being worn at the same moment by living persons, or which are at the time of appearing, in wardrobes or old clothes shops; or, perhaps, thousands of miles away from the spot where the ghost pays his unwelcome visit, or worn or torn into rags, and stuck upon a broomstick "to frighten away the crows." No, no, I think we may rest assured that ghosts could not appear in these dresses, or shreds and patches; in fact, that they could not show themselves in any dress made of the materials of the earth as already suggested; and, therefore, if they did wear any dresses they must have been composed of aspiritual material, if it be possible to unite, in any way, two such opposites. Then comes the question, from whence is this spiritual material obtained, and also if there are spirit manufactories, spirit weavers and spinners, and spirit tanners and "tan pits?"
If this be so, then there must, of course, be ghost tailors, working with ghosts of needles (how sharptheymust be!), and ghosts of threads (and how finetheymust be!), and the ghost of a "sleeve board," and the ghost of the iron, which the tailors use to flatten the seams, called a "goose" (only think of the ghost of a tailor's "goose!") Then there must be the ghost of a "bootmaker," with the ghost of a "lapstone," and a "last," and the spirit of "cobbler's wax!" Ghost of "button makers," "wig makers," and "hatters;" and, indeed, of every trade necessary to fit out a ghost, either lady or gentleman, in order to make it appear that they really did appear "in their habits as they lived."
There are, I know, many respectable worthy persons even at the present day who believe they sometimes see apparitions, and I would here take the liberty to advise such persons to ponder a little upon the above remarks relative to the clothing of spirits, and, when again they think they see a GHOST, recollect that with the exception of thefaceand a little bit of theneckperhaps, and also thehands, if without gloves, thatall the other parts areCLOTHES. And I would also take the liberty to suggest that he should ask the ghost these questions:—"Who's your tailor?" and "Who's your hatter?"
Whatever the belief of the "Bard of Avon" might have been with respect to ghosts, it is quite clear that in these cases he was merely exercising his great poetical talent to work out the several points of popular belief in apparitions, for the purpose of producing a striking "stage effect;" but all that he brings forward, goes to prove the long-established faith in these aërial beings, and the general and almost universal requisites of character and costume. But it probably never entered the great mind of this great poet that there could be no such thing as a ghost ofiron, for if it had, he would, no doubt, have dressed up the ghost of Hamlet's father in some sort of suit rather more aërial than a suit of steel armour. There may be "more things 'twixt heaven and earth" than were dreamt of in Horatio's philosophy; but the ghost ofIronarmour could not be one of these things, be included in the list, and on reverting to this ghost, the reader will observe that I have given no figure in that suit of armour, and no head to the figure of Napoleon the First, and for this reason, the art of drawing, you will please to observe, is a severe critical test in matters of this sort. For suppose an artist is employed to make a drawing of this ghost of Hamlet's father, he will begin, or ought to begin, first to sketch out, very lightly, the size and attitude of the figure required; then suppose he makes out the face; and then begins to work on the helmet, but here he stops—why? because if he has any thought, he will say this is notspirit, this is manufactured iron! And so with the other parts of the figure, all except the face ismaterial; and then to my old enemy in one sense, andfriendin another—Napoleon, for I volunteered, and armed myself to assist to keep him from coming over here before I was twenty years of age; and as a caricaturist, what by turning him, sometimes into ridicule, and sometimes, in fact very often I may say, killing him with my sharp etching needle, "little Boney" used very frequently to give me a good solid bit of meat, and make my "pot boil." But with respect to this headless figure, if the artist is requested to make a drawing of the spirit of this great general, he would, after making out the face, begin with the collar of the coat, and then stop—and why? Because the coat is no part of aspirit, and if the whole of the figure were finished with the face in, what would that be but the spirit of thefaceof Napoleon; all the rest would consist of a cocked-hat, with tricolored cockade; a military coat, with buttons; a waistcoat, a sword and sash, leather gloves, and leather pantaloons, jack-boots, and spurs! Are, or can these things bespiritual? If the end of the finger is placed over the space which is left for the face of Napoleon, the figure will be recognized ashis without the head; and so with Hamlet's father, place the end of the finger in front of the helmet, and the armour will pass for the ghost; and do the like with the figure of Daniel Lambert, put the head out of sight,all the restis neck-handkerchief, a bit of shirt, a coat, a waistcoat, a pair of gloves, small clothes (not verysmallby the by), an immense pair of stockings, and the points of a pair of shoes; and as to the headless ghost of the gentleman in thebluecoat and gilt buttons, that is also NOTHING BUT A SUIT OF CLOTHES.
The reader will recollect that Daniel Defoe, Mrs. Crowe, and Mr. Owen, and other authors have all introduced GHOSTS OF WIGS amongst their facts, in support of spiritual apparitions, so if there are ghosts of "wigs," there must also be GHOSTS OF "PIGTAILS," because they were sometimes a part of a wig; and in taking leave of the reader, I take the liberty of introducing a ghost of a wig and pigtail, who will make a polite bow for the humble author and artist of this "DISCOVERY CONCERNING GHOSTS."
A stick figure ghost with a wig and pigtail.
ADDENDA.
Just as I depicted the ghost of the wig and pigtail to bow out all theold-fashioned ghosts, methought I heard a voice say, "Well, sir, suppose itgrantedthat youhaveshown theutter impossibilityof there being such things asghostsofhats,coats,sticks, andumbrellas; admitting that you really have "laid" all these ghosts of the old style, what say you to the "spirit manifestations" of the present day?"
Well, this does certainly seem to be putting rather a "Homequestion"—a "Home thrust," if you please; but sharp as the question may be, and difficult as it may seem to answer, I am not going to shirk the question.
In the first place, thisinquiringspirit must please to recollect that these "spirit-rappers" of the present day are almost an entirelynew-fashionedspirit, a different sort of ghost altogether, or ghosts in "piecemeal;" onlybitsof spirits, whonever come of their own accord, and have to besqueezedout of a table bit by bit, when they do hold up a hand, or tap or touch people's legs under the table with their hand, or a bit of one. But never having attended a "séance," I cannot give theinquiringspirit any information about these spirits from my own personal knowledge. If the inquirer wishes to know "all about" these spirits, he had better apply to Mr. D. D. Home, who is quite "at home" with these spirits, upon the most "familiar" terms! in fact, "hand and glove" with them; and they feel so much at home with Mr. Home, that they are constantly putting theirhandsandarms, if not theirlegs, "under his mahogany." I therefore take the liberty of referring "Inquirer" to this Home medium, or any other medium, Home or foreign, for a "full, true, and particular account" of the character and conduct of these new-fashioned, New-found-landghosts or spiritualgentlefolk, for it does not appear that there are any of the "working-class" amongst them.
It has been asserted by Mr. Home, that he has seen "full length" ghosts. These I shall put to thetesta little further on.
As I intend putting a fewquestionsmyself to these "mediums," or through this medium, to the spirits, I have to hope that these questions of mine will be taken by theinquiringspirits who question me as an answer totheirquestion upon what may be at present considered upon the whole as almost, if not entirely,unanswerable, at least with the ordinary natural organs of thought and judgment, and therefore it must be left to these tabular spirits or their mediums to explain (that is, if they can) that which, to the "outsiders," as the affair stands at this moment, is aninexplicable puzzle.
In bringing forward my questions, I will take the liberty of making an extract from the "Times," of the 9th of April last, where Mr. D. D. Home's book of "Incidents in my Life," is reviewed with considerable acumen and ability; and wherein the writer states that a Dr. Wilkinson was desirous of obtaining some information and explanations respecting the "ways and means" of these spirits. The Doctor asked Mr. Home why the effects (that is, the manifestations) "took placeunderthe table and notuponit." Mr. Home said, that "in habituated circles the results were easily obtained above board, visibly to all, but that at the first sitting it was not so; that scepticism was almost universal in men's intellects, and marred the forces at work; that the spirits accomplish what they do through ourlife sphere, oratmosphere, which waspermeated at our wills, and ifthe willwascontrary, thespherewas unfit for being operated upon." Moreover, allowance must be made for a certain indisposition on the part of the spirits (as we infer a sort of spiritual bashfulness), "which deters them from exhibiting their members in a state of imperfect formation." When some had merely asingle fingerput upon their knees, "Mr. Home said that the presenting spirits could often makeone fingerwhere they could notmake two, and two where they could not form anentire hand, just as they could form a hand where they could not realize a whole human figure" (for there seems never to have been life sphere at aséanceadequate to the exhibition of an entire figure, "though Mr. Home has frequently seen spirits in their full proportions when alone").
And now for one of my questions, which question is not onlymyquestion, but a public question, and one which Mr. Home is bound to answer, if he can. I therefore publicly call upon that gentleman to inform the public if thesespirits, which he saw in their "full proportions," were in a state ofnudity, or if they hadclotheson? and ifclothed, of what thoseclothes were made? If he does not know these particulars of his own knowledge, as he has theearof these spirits, theirentireconfidence, and as they havehisear, let him call upon them to let him into the secret of the manufacture of their garments, or how the spirits procure them; and until Mr. Home explains this satisfactorily to the public, we have a right to suspect that either he has been himself deceived, or that he——Perhaps I had better not finish the sentence.
The "inquiringspirit" will see that theclothesare the test, and this test stands good here, as well as with theoldfashioned ghosts, and this, I presume, will be allowed as rather a "Home question" to Mr. Home; a Home thrust which he can only parry by giving the information asked; which, if he does not, I will not say "Britons,strikeHome," but unless he or the spirits "rap" out a satisfactory answer, he may rely upon it that he will feel the weight of public opinion, which will weigh rather heavily upon him. But I give him a first-rate chance of becoming exceedingly popular, for the mass, the millions, are ready to believe anything in theshapeof a fact, and I am confident that the whole world would be delighted to get hold of such a secret as this. It would be, perhaps, extreme cruelty to put this gentlemanquite"out of spirits;" but unless he tells us what the clothes of spirits are made of, I should say that he will stand in rather an awkward position before the bar of public opinion.
Another question here I'll put, about this spirit "D D outfit,"Which I fear that the spirits won't answer, just as yet—It is a question, I grant, that looksratherqueer,Which is—are their "togs" made out of ouratmosphere?If the cloth is made out of stuff "permeated by our wills"—And further, if these ghosts are honest, and pay their tailors' bills?
Another question here I'll put, about this spirit "D D outfit,"Which I fear that the spirits won't answer, just as yet—It is a question, I grant, that looksratherqueer,Which is—are their "togs" made out of ouratmosphere?If the cloth is made out of stuff "permeated by our wills"—And further, if these ghosts are honest, and pay their tailors' bills?
Another question here I'll put, about this spirit "D D outfit,"
Which I fear that the spirits won't answer, just as yet—
It is a question, I grant, that looksratherqueer,
Which is—are their "togs" made out of ouratmosphere?
If the cloth is made out of stuff "permeated by our wills"—
And further, if these ghosts are honest, and pay their tailors' bills?
And then, as to the handy craft and crafty hands—
Oh tell us if warm hands, and cold—So cold! so cold! oh dear!—Are made in any kind of mould,Or how they trick 'em out of our "life sphere?"
Oh tell us if warm hands, and cold—So cold! so cold! oh dear!—Are made in any kind of mould,Or how they trick 'em out of our "life sphere?"
Oh tell us if warm hands, and cold—
So cold! so cold! oh dear!—
Are made in any kind of mould,
Or how they trick 'em out of our "life sphere?"
Now supposing, nay even admitting, that thehandsof spirits are exhibited at theseséances, does it not really seem to be impossible to believe that they are made out of the air that surrounds the persons who surround the table!!!
Making fingers and hands out of our "life-sphere" or "atmosphere!" "permeated by our wills!" Well, I was going to say, "after that comes in a horse to be shaved," but really I hardly know what to say; for whilst reading the accounts of these spirits, I feel almost bewildered, and as the mediums say that there is what they call "spirit-writing," and that spirits seize the person's wrist, and make them write just what they wist, I suspect that the spirit of botheration has got hold of my hand, and is making me write what it pleases; and I therefore hope the "gentle reader" will excuse me if I write down here "Handy pandy, Jack a dandy," or any other childish nonsense; for as this table lifting and turning seems to alter and set aside altogether the law of gravitation and all the universal laws of the universe, that used to be thought by simple people as fixed and unalterable, so likewise these "spirit hands" and "spirit rapping" seem to put reason and rationality entirely out of the field. Therefore, as common sense cannot be used in any sense on this question, as it is utterly useless in the present state of affairs to attempt to "chop logic" with "raps," and their mediums upon such tables as these, it will be here quite in place to talk a little nonsense. The reader will therefore, I am sure, bear with me if I make two or three silly suggestions upon this phenomena of moving tables.
Under ordinary circumstances, when persons who are not "habituated" have any natural substance to deal with—say, for instance, adealtable—the mind naturally endeavours to account in a natural way for such a piece of furniture moving or being moved without any assignable natural cause. Common sense in this case being "put out of court," and the scientific world having seemingly "given it up," there is no other source left but to deal with the spirits or their mediums in this matter; and I would here ask if thesetables, heavy or light, are moved by this "life-sphere" or "atmosphere" which is "permeated by our wills;" or if the hands made out of this airy nothing move and lift the furniture? Asthey cangive an answer to the query, we shall all surely be very much obliged to them if they will do so; and whilst they are preparing their answer, I will go on with a little more nonsense, and make a most ridiculous suggestion upon the table lifting, quite as ridiculous perhaps as anything that has emanated from the spirits or their mediums. It may seem absurd to bring "Dame Nature" into this "circle," but nevertheless it does seem true that animals who are associated with man seem to partake, to a very large extent, of man's intelligence. Dogs particularly so, cats pretty well, and even pigs have been known, when domesticated, to be cleanly and polite, and of course we have all heard of the "learned pig." Dear little birds, and even asses and geese, have been known to share in this "life sphere" or "atmosphere" of man's brain. I knew a man who was educating and training a goose, to come out before the public as a performer as alearnedgoose, which intention was unfortunately not carried out, in consequence of an accident which happened to the poor bird about "Michaelmas" time. It appears that he got placed so near a large fire that he was very soon "done brown," and upon a "post mortem" examination it was discovered that he was stuffed full ofsageand onion.
We are so accustomed to have intelligent animals about us, that we do not look upon it as anything very extraordinary. Nevertheless, the phenomena is not the less wonderful for all that. Now I lay this question on the table, for the spirits to rap out an answer—viz., as tables and chairs are associated with man (and woman, of course), can, or is the vital spark, or life principle, conveyed from the body into the wood, which isporous, and can it make these otherwiseinanimateobjects "all alive alive O?" The reader must excuse me for asking such a silly question, and will please to recollect that I am not putting the question to him, but to the silly spirits and their mediums, for thesespirits, it is stated, are sometimes quite as silly asany bodycan be. I therefore ask again whether the vital principle or force is conveyed into the tables whilst the parties or "circle" are pressing their hands upon it; and if not, please to tell us what it is, for the "outer" world are very anxious and waiting to know. It must be observed that the tables only move under thispressure, and whilst the "circle" is thus acting and using itsatmosphericinfluence, otherwise the tables might or would be always jumping about the room; and if the tables are not thus moved by animal heat, how would the animal man be able to get his meals? And it follows as a natural—beg pardon, spiritual—consequence, that if this be not the case, or the cause, then are the spirits a very thoughtful and well-behaved society, to be thus careful not to rattle or roll the table about and jump it up and down when the dinner is spread; or perhaps these spirits partake of the "good things of this life," as very poor French emigrants used to do, namely, by merelysmellingthe viands at a cook's shop—"sniff, sniff, ah! dat is nice a roast a bef—sniff, sniff, ah! dat nice piece de veal—ah! sniff, sniff, dat a nice piece a de pork—ah! ah! sniff, sniff"—but if they don'teatit appears theydrink; for in an article by R. H. Hatton, in the "Victoria Magazine,"[5]entitled "The Unspiritual World of Spirits," it states that Mr. Howitt "believes in a modern German ghost that drank beer," which called forth the words (with a horrible exclamation), "it swallows!" and at a "séance" held at a cháteau near Paris, three years back, a gentleman asked for some brandy and water, which when brought was "snatched out of his hold by a spirit-hand which carried it beneath the table," and "the glass came backempty." We are told that the spirits have difficulty in making a finger; if so, they must have a greater difficulty in "making mouths;" but suppose they do make a mouth, and the spirits drink the beer and spirits, where is the liquid to go to, if they have made no stomach out of theatmosphereof theladiesand gentlemen forming the "circle" round the table? This does not look as if it were "all fair and above board;" but, on the contrary, very much as if there were some clever rascally littlebodiesplaying their pranks and taking the "spirits" under the table; however, if it be therealspirits who drank the beer and spirits, I as a teetotaler must express my disgust at such conduct, and, for one, will have nothing to do with such spirits; indeed, I am quite shocked to find, contrary to all former ideas of spiritual life, that even these "purespirits" have still a taste for the spirit of alcohol. I really begin to fear that these drinking, if not drunken spirits, do haunt the "spirit-vaults." Thebeerthey drink is, I presume, "Home-brewed."
But to turn again to the "table-turning." One way that I would suggest this question, to test, as to whether it be the life principle that gives a sort of life to these woodenlegs, anddrawers, andbody, andflaps, from which the spirits send out their "raps," would be, to substitute aniron table, a good heavy iron table, and as it is said they can lift any weight, let 'em lift that; and if not iron, then try a good largemarble slab. If the iron will not "enter intotheirsoul," let them try if theirsoulwill enter into the iron, or if the stone will be moved by the "atmosphere" of their flesh and their bone.
Wonders, it is said, will never cease, and most assuredly some of the tales told of these "séances," and some of the reported spirit exhibitions are so wonderful, so astounding, that one does not knowhowto believe them; and there are certain circumstances in some parts of the performance that look soliketrickery, that it is impossible to accept thewholerelation as fact, however much we might feel disposed to receive a part thereof. Some of these performances are performed in the dark, in the "pitch dark," so dark that the company cannot see each other; and it is in this state of "inner" and "utter" darkness that the spirits prefer to lift Mr. Home, andfloat him up to the ceiling,[6]so that the spirits who lift him are "invisiblespirits," and Mr. Home isinvisiblealso. And this makes me think that these spirits are without clothing, and being so, are ashamed to show themselves. I put this as a question to Mr. Home, and also, as they onlymakehands andshakehands, if they are not "ashamed to show their faces,"whydon't theymake faces? (I don't mean grimaces). But I should not only like to know why they don't make some "atmospheric" "life-sphere" faces, but should also very much like to sketch their likenesses, or "take them off," as people say.
Touching upon these faces reminds me that a new feature has been introduced in thisnewworld, that is, taking up this new fashion of theoldworld by having "carte de visites." A Mr.Mum-ler, of Boston, U.S., discovered that these spirits have a taste for art as well as music, and that they have a little vanity like ourselves; and it has since been discovered thatfraudhas beendiscovered, of photographers—"palming off as spirit likeness—pictures of persons now alive!" But here comes theclothes testagain, thesespiritedportraits have all got theirclothes on. Apparitions of suits of clothes, spirits ofcoats,boots, andladies' dresses!!!
Thistestof theclothingis very severe, for without having clothes the ghost can't appear; for even that extraordinary clever invention of Professor Pepper's, the "patent" ghost, which he exhibited at the Polytechnic Institution, and which is introduced into a piece called "The Haunted Man and the Ghost's Bargain," now performing at the Adelphi Theatre, and which ghost, I am sorry to say, I have not yet had time to see, but this "patent ghost," of course, has CLOTHES on. In fact, apparitions cannot appear without clothes, and apparitions of clothes cannot appear; and so—but really I had quite forgotten that I had left Mr. Home sticking up against the ceiling, upon which it appears he makes hismark—all in the dark—as a kind of "skylark." "Seeingis believing," but as his friends could not see him, he was obliged to do some thing of this sort, suspecting, I suppose, that his friends would not takehis word. When a light was thrown upon this scene, Mr. Home was discovered lying upon his back upon the table! It may be rude to say that all this was all a trick, but pardonable, perhaps, to say it looks very like trickery.
Talking of "skylarking," reminds me, that in conversation with a friend of mine, who is a believer in Mr. Home, and expressing a doubt about the possibility of Mr. H. kicking his heels up in the air in this way, and asking if it were not imaginary, my friend assured me that it was no "flight of fancy," that it was quite true, and that it was not at all improbable but that some day, in daylight, we might "see Mr. Homefloating across the metropolis!" I suggested that Mr. H. had better mind what he was about, as there was danger in such a flight, for some short-sighted sports-man, or if not short-sighted, he might be in such a state offuddleas not "to know a hawk from a hand saw," and might mistake him for some gigantic, "monstrous blackbird," or some "rara avis," and bring him down with his gun, though in this case he would not want to "bag his game."
To prevent such a hit as this, or rather such amischance, I would suggest that due notice should be given to the public when Mr. Home intends appearing up above the chimney-pots; and that in addition to hisfloating, that the spirits should run him along the "electric telegraph" wires. That would be something worth seeing, and much better than the stupid, silly, nonsensical tricks they now play either on the table or under the table.
There used formerly, even in my time—I don't go back so far as the reign of the Charles's, but to the days of the "charlies," as the old watchmen were called, and before the "newpolice" were introduced to the public,—in those days ghost tricks were played in various parts of London; one favourite spot was in front of St. Giles's churchyard, near unto a "spirit vault." It used to be reported that there was a ghost every night in this churchyard, but it was an invisible ghost, for it never was seen, though there was a mob of people gaping and straining their eyes to get a peep at it; but during this time, some low cunning spirits used to creep out of the adjoining spirit vaults, mix amongst the crowd, and having verylight fingers, used, instead oftappingthe people on the knees, as the spirits do at the "séances" they dipped their hands into the "atmosphere" of respectable people's pockets, and "spirited away" their watches, handkerchiefs, pocket-books, or anything else that came in their way, and then bolt into the vaults again.
N.B.—These spirits could swallowspirits, like those described in the preceding pages.
Spirits of the old style used to delight in the darkness of night, but sometimes they'd show their pale faces by moonlight. A "séance" is described that took place by moonlight. I don't mean toassertthat it wasall"moonshine." A table was placed in front of a window between the curtains; the "circle" round the table and the space between the curtains was thestagewhere the performance took place. Query: How did the mediums know, when they placed this table, that the spirits who "lent a hand" in the performance would act their play at that part of the table? By the by, thetableplays an important part in these spirited pieces; the spirits surely would not be able to get on at all without atable! At each side of this stage, lit by the moon, and close to the window curtains, which formed as it were the "proscenium," stood a gentleman, one on each side, like two "prompters," one of whom was Mr. Home; and when one particular hand was thrust up above the rim of the table, and whichhandhad aglove on, Mr. H. cried out, "Oh! keep me from that hand! it is so cold; do not let it touch me." Query: How did Mr. H. know that this handwas so cold? and had it put the glove on because it felt itself so cold? And out of whose "atmosphere," or "life sphere" had the spirit made this hand? if it weresocold, it must have got the stuff through some verycold-hearted"medium." Then comes myclothes testagain, where did thehandget theglove? Suppose it was aspirit hand, the hand of a soul that once did live on earth, could it be thespiritof aglove? Whilst waiting for an answer to these queries, I would suggest to these "mediums," that if they see this "hand and glove" again, they should ask, "Who's your glover?" Yes, it would be important to obtain the name and address of such a glover, as such gloves, we may suppose, would not wear out, nor require cleaning.
An old and valued friend of mine attended aséancein 1860, of which he wrote a short account, and which he keeps (in manuscript) to lend to his friends for their information and amusement, upon this subject; and although he confesses that, as a novice, he was rather startled upon one or two occasions during the evening, that the extraordinary proceeding of theséancehad something of asupernatural tingeabout it; nevertheless, upon mature reflection he came to the conclusion that the whole was a very cleverly-managed piece of trickery and imposture. As I am permitted to quote from this manuscript, I will here give a short extract to show the reader how an American medium—a Dr.Dash—assisted by two other "mediums," also Americans,managedthe spirits upon that occasion. A party of eight were seated round a table:—
"Shortly and anon, a change came o'er the spirit of the Doctor. He jumped up and said, 'Hush! I hear a spiritrapping at the door.'
"The Doctor told us there was a spirit which wished to join ourséance, the door was opened, a chair was most politely placed at the table, and there the spirit sat, but, like 'Banquo's' Ghost,invisible to the company."
In the Waterloo Road there resided—next door to each other—some years back, two paperhangers, who vied with each other in doing "stencilling"—that is, rubbing colour on walls through acut outpattern; there was great opposition between them, and one of them (No. 1) wrote on the front of his house inlargeletters, "The Acme of Stencilling," upon which No. 2, determined not to be outdone in this style, wrote upon the front of his house in lettersdoublethe size of his neighbour's, "The Heigth of the Acme of Stencilling." Now, I do not know whether this pretendedintroductionof aninvisiblespirit, and putting a chair for this worse than nothing to sit in, when he had nothing to sit down upon, may be considered as theheigthof theacmeof unprincipled, impudent imposture; but it goes far enough to show that trickerycan be and is carried on, and carried on even as a trade or "calling" in this "spirit-rapping" business, for I have seen a printed card where aprofessional"medium" gives his name and address, and has on it, "Circles for Spiritual Manifestation—hours from 12 to 3 and 5 to 10p.m.;" to which is added, "Private Parties andFamiliesvisited."
If such a card as this had been introduced in "The Broad Grin Jest Book," some years back, it would have been quite in place, but to think that such a card as this should be circulated in this "age of intellect," as abusinesscard—the card of a "Maître de Ceremonie," who undertakes to introduceinvisible spirits, into parties andprivate families, is something more than I ever expected to see, on the outside of Bethlem, or in the list of impostures at a police station.
As this Dr.Dashpretended that spirits were "mixed up" with this party—were indeed surrounding the "circle," and who had come into the roomwithout knocking, and were notaccommodated with chairs, why should this ghost of nothing knock at the door, and how did the Dr. know that he wished to join theséance, and why shouldthis invisibleMr. Nobody have a chair, and the otherspiritsbe obliged to stand? And then was this spiritdressedin his best? for as it was an evening party, he ought to have been "dressed with care."
The calling up of one spirit seems to call up or raise another spirit, and as Dr.Dashintroduced a dumb and invisible spirit who was supposed to take his seat at a table, I take this opportunity of introducing a spirit of a very different character—one of the old fashioned spirits—one that could both be seen and heard, and who wasseento take his seat at the table, and enter into conversation with his friends. An extract from the "Registry of Brisley Church in 1706," runs thus:—A Mr. Grose went to see a Mr. Shaw, and whilst these gentlemen were quietly smoking their pipes, in comes (without "rapping") the ghost of their friend Mr. Naylor. They asked him to sit down, which he did, and they conversed together for about two hours; he was asked how it fared with him, he replied, "Very well," and when he seemed about to move, they asked him if he could not stay a little longer, he replied that he "could not do so, for he had only three days' leave of absence, and had other business to attend to."[7]
Now this is something like a ghost, whose visit you observe is recorded in the registry of a parish church, and as the party I believe were all clergymen, of course the Rev. Mr. Naylor came in his clerical "habits as he lived," no doubt "dressed with care." Yes, this you see was a respectable sort of ghost—one that you could see and listen to, not such a poor "dummy" as Dr.Dash'spoor spiritless spirit, Mr. Nothing Nobody, Esq.,