For a long while she had been praising the doings of the three combmakers, and had called them three decent and sensible men; for she had closely observed them. When, therefore, Dietrich, the Suabian, began to linger longer and longer in her dwelling when bringing or fetching his shirt, and to pay court to her, she treated him in a friendly manner and kept him near her for hours by means of her lofty conversation. And Dietrich talked back, of course, to please her, just as much as he could; and she was one of the kind that could stand more than a fair measure of laudation. Indeed, one might truthfully say that she liked it all the more the more spiced and peppered it was. When praising her wisdom and kindness, she kept still as a mouse, until there was no more of it, whereupon she would with heightened color pick up the thread where it had been dropped, and would touch up the painting in those spots where it seemed to require a trifle of additional color. And Dietrich had not been going back and forth in her house for any great length of time when she showed him that mortgage of hers, and he thereupon began to exude a quiet, sedate species of self-satisfaction, and began to behave toward his rivals with such stealth as though he had invented the perpetuum mobile. Jobst and Fridolin, however, soon unearthed his secret, and they were amazed at the depth of his dissimulation and at his cleverness. Jobst above all clutched his hair and tore out a good handful of it; for had he himself not been going to the same house for a long while, and had it ever occurred to him to look for anything there but his clean linen? Rather, he had hitherto almost hated the washerwomen because he had been forced to dig up a few stuyvers every week to pay them. Never had he thought of marriage, because he was unable to conceive of a wife under any other aspect than that of a being that wanted something out of him which he did not deem her due, and to expect something from such a feminine creature that might be of advantage to him had never entered his thoughts, since he had confidence only in himself, and his calculations had so far never gone beyond the narrowest horizon, that of his secret. But now reflecting deep and serious he reached the determination to outdo this sly little Suabian, for if the latter should really succeed in getting hold of Dame Zues' seven hundred florins, he might become a keen competitor. The seven hundred florins, too, suddenly shone and glittered very differently, in the eyes both of the Saxon and of the Bavarian. Thus it was that Dietrich, the man of invention, had discovered a land which soon became the joint property of the three, and thus shared the hard lot of all discoverers, for the two others at once got on the same track and likewise became steady callers on Zues Buenzlin. She therefore saw herself surrounded by a whole court of decent and respectable combmakers. That she relished greatly; never before had she had a number of admirers at one time. It became a novel entertainment for her shrewd mind to handle these three with the greatest impartiality and skill, to keep them at all times within bounds and cool reason, and to thus influence them by frequent speeches in favor of the beauties of resignation and unselfishness until Heaven itself should by some act of intervention decide matters irrevocably.
As each of the three had confided to her his secret and his plans, she immediately made up her mind to render happy that one who really would attain his goal and become owner of the business. And in thus deciding in her own heart how she should proceed, she from that hour on deliberately excluded the Suabian, since he could not succeed except through and by her money. But while thus actually discarding the Suabian as a possible candidate for her hand, she reflected that, after all, he was the youngest, handsomest and most amiable of the trio, and thus she would spare for him many a token of regard and confidence, and lull him into the belief that his chances were the best. But while so doing, she knew how to arouse the jealousy of the other two, and thus spur them on to greater zeal. And so it came to pass that Dietrich, this poor Columbus who had first sighted and nearly taken possession of the pretty land, became nothing but a mere pawn in her game, nothing but the poor fool who unconsciously assisted in the angling for the real fish. Meanwhile all three of them assiduously wooed and courted the coy maiden, running a close race in the difficult art of showing all the time devotion, modesty and sense, while being kept by the bridle. She on her part was in her element, for she forever told them to be unselfish and to practice resignation. When the whole four now and then happened to be together, they made the impression of a singular conventicle where the queerest remarks were being expressed. And despite of all their timidity and humility it would happen once in a while that one of the three, suddenly dropping his hosannahs in praise of the rare gifts and virtues of the maiden, would plunge into a measure of self-laudation. At such moments it was edifying and truly touching to see Zues gently interrupt the rash one and chide him for his breach of good manners. She would then shame him by forcing him to listen to a homily on his rivals.
However, this was really a hard sort of life for the poor combmakers to lead. No matter how much ordinarily they had themselves under control, now that a woman had entered as a factor into their game, there would occur wholly novel spurts of jealousy, of fear, of misgiving, and of hope. What with a fury of work and increased economy, they almost killed themselves and certainly lost flesh. They became melancholy, and while before people--and especially before Zues--they endeavored hard to maintain the appearance of the utmost harmony, they scarcely spoke a word to each other when alone together at work or in their common sleeping chamber, lay down sighing in their joint bed, and dreamed of murder, albeit still resting quietly and immovably one next the other as so many sticks. One and the same dream hovered nightly over the trio, until really once it came to one of the sleepers, so that Jobst in his place by the wall turned over violently and kicked Dietrich. Dietrich avoided the kick and gave Jobst a hard push, and now there was among the three sleepy combmakers an outbreak of elemental wrath. The most tremendous row ensued in the bed, and for fully three minutes they treated each other to fearful lunges, kicks and pushes, so that all the six legs formed an inextricable tangle, until with a thundering crash they rolled out of bed and began to howl like savage beasts. Becoming fully awake they at first thought the devil were after them or else thieves had entered their room. Screaming they rose quickly. Jobst took his stand upon his tile; Fridolin planted himself firmly upon his own, and Dietrich did the like upon that tile beneath which his still rather slender savings reposed. And thus standing in a triangle, they worked their arms like flails and shouted their loudest: "Get out; get out!" until the master came rushing up from below and after a while quieted the three frenzied fellows. Trembling then with fear, shame and anger, they crept back into bed, and then, wide-awake, lay there mute until dawn came and forced them to rise.
However, the nocturnal spook had only been the prelude to something worse. For at breakfast the master let them know that for the time being he had no longer need of three journeymen, and that two of them would have to pack up their bundle. It appeared that they had defeated their own object by hurrying and hastening work, so that now there were more wares than the boss was able to dispose of, while on the other hand, he, the master, himself had taken advantage of the extreme mood for work his men had shown for months to lead on his part an opulent and disorderly life, spending nearly all his extra gains in riotous quips. Indeed, when the details of his doings became public it turned out that he had run into such an amount of debt that the load of it came well-nigh smothering him. Thus it came about that he, looking over his own situation, was unable to employ or support his three workmen, no matter how abstemious they were and how intent on his further profit. For consolation he told them that he was equally fond of all three of them and loath to tell either to go, wherefore he had made up his mind to leave it wholly to them which of the three should leave and which should stay. All they had to do, he remarked smilingly, was to agree among themselves upon that point.
But they were unable to come to a decision as to this. Rather they stood there pale as ghosts, and simpered timidly at each other. Then they became tremendously excited, since they clearly perceived that the most momentous hour of their existence was approaching. For they judged from the words of the master that he would not be able to continue the business much longer, and that, therefore, it would soon become an object of sale. The goal, then, each of them had striven for with such infinite patience and cunning seemed in sight, and to their heated fancy was already glittering and shining like a new Jerusalem. And now came this awful decree, and two of them would have to turn their backs upon the heavenly prospect. It was almost more than they could bear. After a very brief consultation and reflection all three of them went to see the master, and declared with tearful voices that rather than leave him they would stay on, even though they would have to work gratis. But then the master declared jovially that even in that case he had no further use for all the three. Two of them, he again assured them, would have to quit the house. They fell at his feet; they wrung their hands; they asked and implored him to let them stay on: only for another three months, for one month, for a fortnight. The master, however, after at first enjoying the humor of the situation, at last lost all patience. Besides, he was perfectly aware what their motive in all this pretended loyalty for him was, and that soured his temper. Suddenly an idea occurred to him, and he did not hesitate to make them a proposition.
"Why," he smiled, "if you cannot agree among yourselves at all as to who is to remain and who to go, I will tell you how we will decide this matter. But that is absolutely the last proposal I shall make to you. To-morrow being Sunday, I shall pay your wages; you pack up your belongings, get ready to go forth and take your staffs. Then you will in all good faith and perfect harmony leave jointly, going out by whichever gate you may agree upon, and march on the highroad for another half-hour, no more, no less, and then stop. Then you will rest yourselves a trifle, and if you care to do so, you may even drink a shoppen or two. Having done so, you will all three of you turn once more and walk back to town, and whoever will then first ask me for work, him I will keep, but the other two must wander forth for good and all, wherever they might choose to go."
Hearing this cruel decision, they three fell once more at his feet and begged him most pitifully to have mercy on them and to desist from his plan. But the master, who by this time began to anticipate some rare fun in his wicked soul, was obstinate and would not listen to them, hardening himself. Suddenly the Suabian sprang up and ran out of the house like a man demented, across the street to Zues Buenzlin. Scarcely had Jobst and the Bavarian observed that, when they ceased to lament themselves and followed the youngest. Within a very brief space the three of them were seated in the dwelling of the frightened maiden.
Zues felt rather abashed and undecided by reason of the adventure taking such an unexpected turn. But she calmed herself, and viewing the matter from her own particular angle, she resolved to make her plans subservient to the master's odd conceit. In fact, she regarded this new aspect of affairs as a special dispensation of Providence. Touched and devout she fetched out one of her volumes, then with her needle at random pricked among the leaves, and when she opened the book at the spot, she found a passage that spoke of the persistent following of the righteous path. Next she made the three guests turn up passages blindfolded, and all that was found treated of walking along the narrow way, of advancing without looking backwards, in short, of nothing but running and racing. Thus, then, she decided, Heaven itself had prescribed the projected race for to-morrow. But since she was afraid that Dietrich, as being the youngest and the ablest in jumping, walking, and running, and thus most likely to win the palm if left without supervision, she made up her mind to go herself along with the three lovers, and to watch for an opportunity for bending or influencing possibly the outcome of this undertaking in accordance with her own secret desires. For she wished, as we must recall, one of the older men to be the victor, she did not care which of the two.
In furtherance of this plan she insisted that the three be quiet for a spell and cease slandering and berating each other, but rather summon themselves to acquiescence in God's will. She put on her judicial air and said:
"Know, my friends, that nothing happens here below without the direction and sometimes direct interference of Providence, and no matter if the plan of your master be unusual and singular, we must look upon it as ordered by higher powers than he, although it may be that he has not even an inkling of this. He is the dumb and unconscious instrument in the hands of the Ruler. Our peaceable and harmonious intercourse here has been too beautiful altogether to have been prolonged much farther. For, behold, all the good things in life are but transitory and pass away, and nothing is lasting but evil things, the loneliness of the soul and the persistence of sin, whereupon we feel impelled to consider all this and to try and grasp their meaning in this life and in the life to come. Hence, too, let us rather separate before the wicked demon of discord raises its head amongst us, and let us bid each other farewell, just as do the soft zephyrs of springtime when they swiftly move along high in the sky, and let us do this before the rough storms of autumn overtake us. I myself will accompany you on the first stage of your hard road, and will be the eyewitness of your trial race, so that you will start on it with a good courage and so that you know behind you a gentle propelling power, while victory winks from afar. But just as the victor will forbear to show a spirit of undue pride, those who have been defeated will not permit themselves to become despondent nor to load their souls with grief or wrath because of their lack of success in the venture. They will depart feeling affection for him who bears the palm, and will enshrine him and us in their inmost heart. They will fare forth into the wide world with joyous disposition. They must reflect on the fact that men have built cities galore that outshine in their splendors and beauties Seldwyla by far. There is, for instance, a huge and memorable city wherein dwells the Father of all Christendom. And Paris, too, is quite a mighty town, where may be found innumerable souls and many fine palaces. And in Constantinople there rules the Sultan, of Turkish faith is he, and there is Lisbon, once destroyed by an earthquake, but since reconstructed finer than ever. Again we have Vienna, the capital of Austria and called the gay imperial city, and London is the wealthiest town of all, situated in Engelland, along a river the name of which is the Thames. Two millions of human beings, they say, have their habitation there. St. Petersburg, on the other hand, is the capital and imperial city of Russia, whereas Naples is the capital of the kingdom of the same name, near which is the Vesuvius, a high mountain forever breathing fire and smoke. On that mountain, according to the version of a credible witness, a lost soul once upon a time appeared to a ship's captain, as I have read in a curious book of travel, which soul belonged to John Smidt, who one hundred and fifty years ago was a godless man, and who now commissioned the said captain to visit his descendants in Engelland, so he might be redeemed. For look you, the entire mountain is the abode of the damned, as may also be read in the tract of the learned Peter Hasler where he discusses the probable entrance to hell. Many other cities there are indeed, whereof I will still mention Milan, and Venice, built wholly upon water, and Lyons, and Marseilles, and Strasbourg, and Cologne, and Amsterdam. Of Paris I have already spoken, but there is also Nuremberg, and Augsburg, and Frankfort, and Basle, and Berne, and Geneva, all of them handsome towns, and pretty Zurich, and besides all these still many more which I have neither leisure nor inclination to enumerate here. For everything has its limits, excepting the inventive genius of man, who goes everywhere and undertakes anything which seems to him useful. And if men are just everything prospereth with them; but if they are unjust they will perish like the grass of the fields and vanish like smoke. Many are called, but few are chosen. For all these reasons and because of others to which our duty and the virtue of a clear conscience oblige us, we will now submit ourselves to the voice of fate. Go forth, therefore, and prepare for the time of trial, and for the period of wandering, but do so as just and gentle beings, who bear their worth within themselves, no matter whither they may go, and whose staff will everywhere take root, who, no matter what their calling may be and no matter what business they may seize upon, are always in the right in saying to themselves; 'I have chosen the better part.'"
Of all this the combmakers really did not want to hear just then, but on the contrary insisted that Zues should select one of them and tell him to remain in Seldwyla, and each one of them in saying so only thought of himself. She, however, was careful to avoid a premature choice. On the contrary, she told them bluntly that they must obey her on pain of forfeiting her friendship forever. At once Jobst, the oldest of the three, skipped off, right into the house of their ex-master, and to perceive that and follow him in haste, was the work of an instant, since they were afraid that he might be planning something against them on the sly, and thus the trio acted all day long, whisking about like falling stars, hither and thither. They hated each other like three spiders in one web. Half the town witnessed this queer spectacle, observing the three strangely excited combmakers, they who until that day had always been so orderly and quiet. The ancient people of the town could not but feel that something evil, something tragic was underway, and they would nod and whisper to one another of their fears. Towards nightfall, however, the combmakers became tired and spent, without having reached any definite conclusion, and in that mood they retired and stretched out their limbs in the old bed, with chattering teeth and half-sick with impotent rage. One by one they crept beneath the covering, and there they lay, as though felled by the hand of death itself, with thoughts in turmoil and confusion, until at last sleep came like balm for their uproarious minds.
Jobst was first to waken, at early dawn, and he saw that spring was weaving its garlands and that the great orb was rising in the east, in a mass of cloudlets of dainty hue. The first rays of the sun were already penetrating the dusky chamber wherein he had been sleeping for the past six years. And while the room assuredly looked bare and unattractive enough, it seemed nevertheless a paradise to him, a paradise from which he was about to be driven thus unjustly and unfairly, it appeared to him. He let his eyes wander all over the walls, and counted on them the traces left by all the preceding journeymen that had been harbored under that roof. Here there was a dark stain from the one who was in the habit of rubbing against the wall his greasy pate; there another one had driven in a nail, on which he used to hang his long pipe, and, sure enough, a bit of scarlet tape still clung to the nail. How good and harmless had they all been, all those that had come and gone, while these fellows now, spread out their whole length next to him in bed, would not go. Next he fastened his glance upon the objects nearer his field of vision, those objects which he had noticed thousands of times before, on all those occasions when he had lain in bed in a contemplative mood, mornings, nights, or daytime, and when he had enjoyed in his own peculiar way the bliss of existence, free of cost and with a serene mind. There was, for example, a spot in the ceiling where the wet had damaged it. This spot had often set his imagination at work. It looked like the map of a whole country, with lakes and rivers and cities, and a group of grains of sand represented an isle of the blessed. Farther down a long bristle from the painter's brush attracted Jobst's wandering attention; for this bristle had been held back by the blue paint and was embedded in it. This phenomenon interested Jobst greatly, for it was his own handiwork. Last autumn he had accidentally discovered a small remnant of the azure paint, and to utilize it had proceeded to spread it over that portion of the ceiling nearest to him. But just beyond the bristle there was a very slight protuberance, almost like a chain of mountains, and this threw its shadow across the bristle over against the isle of the blessed. About this rise in the scenery he had been brooding and speculating the whole of the past winter, because it seemed to him that it had not been there formerly.
And as he now cast searching glances for this protuberance and could not find it despite all his pains, he thought he must suddenly have gone daft when instead of it he discovered a tiny bare spot on the wall. On the other hand he noticed that the small bluish mountain itself was moving. Amazed beyond measure at this miracle, Jobst quickly sat up and watched the cerulean wonder march steadily on: the conviction dawned on him that the prodigy was nothing but a bedbug; his logical deduction then was that he must have unawares applied a coat of paint to this insect, at a time in its life when it was already in a state of coma. But now the little creature had been reawakened under the warming influence of the spring sun, had started on a tour of adventure, and was actually and bravely ascending the steep pathway on the wall, ready for business, without in the least minding its blue back and Jobst's astonishment. Jobst watched the meanderings of the dear little thing with concentrated interest. So long as it cut across the blue paint it was barely visible; but now it issued forth into the region beyond, traversing first a few remaining splotches of paint, and next wandering diligently among the darker districts. With softened feelings Jobst sank back into his pillows. Generally rather indifferent to quips of mere fancy, this time sentiment struggled uppermost. He took the enterprising bedbug as an omen for himself. He, too, must be wandering forth again, seeking new pastures. And thankfully and resignedly he thought of this insect as a model for himself to strive after. In this frame of mind he resolved to put a good face on the matter and to bow to the unavoidable. He meant to start at once. Indulging these wise reflections his natural wisdom and forethought slowly came back to him, however, and resuming his train of deliberations he at last concluded that there might not be any necessity for clearing out at all. By reassuming his habitual modesty and resignation and submitting in that spirit to the trial at hand, it might come to pass, after all, that he would overcome his rivals. Softly and slowly, therefore, he now rose, and began to arrange his belongings; but above all he dug up his hidden treasure and started to pack it away, lowest in his knapsack. While thus engaged the others also awoke. And when they observed Jobst packing up his things in that matter-of-fact, unobtrusive manner, they grew more and more astonished, and this feeling increased when Jobst spoke to them in a conciliatory tone and wished them a good morning. More than that, though, he did not say, but continued peaceably in his task. Instantly, however, not being able to explain to themselves his behavior, they began to suspect a ruse, a deep-laid scheme, and to imitate him. At the same time they closely watched him, curious to find out what he would do next.
It was ludicrous as well to observe the other two now exhuming their hoards quite openly from underneath their own tiles, and to put them away, without first counting them over, in their knapsacks. For they had known for long that each was aware of the secret of the others, and according to the old-fashioned honorable traditions of their guild not one of them suspected the others of theft. Each of them, in fact, was fully convinced that they would not be robbed. For it is an iron-clad custom among traveling journeymen, soldiers, and similar folk that nothing must be locked up and that there must be no suspicion of foul play.
In this way they at last were ready to start. The master paid each his wages, and handed them back their service booklets, wherein on the part of the town authorities and of the master himself there were inscribed the most satisfactory certificates as to good behavior and steadiness of conduct. A minute later they stood, in a state of soft melancholy, before the house door of Zues Buenzlin, each dressed in a long brown coat, with a duster above that, and their hats, albeit by no means new or fashionable, covered with a tight casing of oil cloth. Each carried a tiny van strapped to his knapsack to enable him, as soon as long-distance walking should start, to pull his heavy baggage with greater ease. The small wheels belonging to this contraption stood up high above their shoulders. Jobst was assisted in walking by a decent bamboo cane, Fridolin by a staff of ash painted all over with red and black stripes, and Dietrich by a fantastic baton around which were curling carved branches. But he was almost ashamed of this absurd and bragging thing, since it dated from the first days of his pilgrimage, a time when he had not yet attained to the sober view of life as since. Many neighbors and their children lined the way and wished these three serious-minded men godspeed.
But now Zues showed at the door, her mien even more solemn than usual, and at the head of the little procession she went on with the three courageously to beyond the town gate. In their honor she had donned some of her choicest finery. She wore a huge hat draped with broad yellow ribbons, a pink calico dress trimmed in a style of ten years ago, a black velvet scarf and shoes of red morocco with fringes. With this costume she also carried a reticule of green silk filled with dried pears and prunes, and had a small parasol in her other hand on top of which there could be seen an ivory ornament carved in the shape of a lyre. She had also hung around her fair neck the locket with the monument of hair, and in front of her chaste bosom had pinned on the gold forget-me-not, and wore white knit gloves. Dainty and pleasant she looked in this guise; her countenance was slightly flushed and her bosom heaved higher than its wont, and the departing combmakers scarcely were able to conceal their feelings of utter woe and sorrow at the prospect of losing her. For even their extreme situation, the lovely spring weather, and Zues' exquisite finery, or all of it together mingled with their sentiments of expectation and anxiety something of what habitually is denominated Love. Arrived beyond the town gate, though, the winsome maiden encouraged her three admirers to place their heavy knapsacks upon those tiny wheels and to pull their loads, so as not to tire themselves needlessly. This they did, and as they steadily began to climb the steep heights that rose just outside the town, it looked for all the world almost like a train of light mountain guns moving slowly upwards, in order to form a battery for attack. And when they had thus proceeded for half an hour they reached a pleasant hilltop, where they halted. A crossroad was there, and they sat down beneath a linden tree, in a semicircle, whence a far view was obtainable across forests and lakes and villages. Zues brought out her reticule and handed to each one a handful of pears and prunes, in order to restore themselves. Thus they sat for quite a while, solemn and silent, merely causing a slight noise by the slow degustation of the sweet fruit.
Then Zues, throwing away a prune pit and drying her hands on the grass, drew breath and began to speak: "Dear friends," she said, "only see how beautiful and how big the world is, all around full of fine things and of human habitations! And yet I should wager that in this fateful hour there are nowhere else seated together four such decent and just souls as are seated here under this tree, four who are so sensible and so gentle in all their doings, so inclined to all useful and laborious exercises, so given to virtues like economy, peaceableness, and dutiful friendship. How many flowers are surrounding us here, of every kind, such as early spring produces, especially yellow cowslips, from which a wholesome and well-tasting tea may be prepared. But are these flowers, I ask you, as decent and as diligent, as economical and cautious, as apt to think correct and useful thoughts? No, indeed, they are ignorant and soulless things, and without benefiting themselves they waste time and opportunity, and no matter how nice they may look in a short time they turn into dead and useless hay, while we with our virtues are far superior to them and also do not yield to them in beauty of outward shape. For it was God who created us after His image and blew His divine breath into us. Ah, would it were possible to keep seated here in this spot for all eternity, in this paradise and in our present state of innocency. Indeed, my friends, it seems to me that we all of us at this hour are in a state of innocency, although ennobled by sinless consciousness and intelligence, for all four of us are able, God be praised, to read and write, and we have, each of us, likewise acquired a craft, a useful calling. For many things, I am aware, I have talent and skill, and would engage to do many things which even the most learned young lady would be unable to do, that is, if I were inclined to go outside of and beyond my proper station. But modesty and humility are the dearest virtues of a decent maiden, and it is enough for me to know that my intellectual gifts are not worthless nor despised by the judicious and those of a keener discernment. Many have before this wooed me, men who were not worthy of me, and now I see three just and decent bachelors assembled around me, each of whom is as worthy to win me as are the others. From this, my friends, you may measure and imagine how my own heart must long for a solution in view of this unheard-of abundance, and may each of you take pattern by me and think for the moment that he, too, were surrounded by three virgins, each equally lovely and worthy to be loved, and all three desirous to wed and possess him, and that on that account it might happen that he would be unable to make up his mind to incline to this or that one, and therefore at last unable to wed any. Only place yourselves in your thoughts in my stead: fancy that each of you were courted simultaneously by three Miss Buenzlins at once, and were thus seated around you the way we are seated here, dressed as I am, and of similarly alluring exterior, so that I in a manner of speaking would exist ninefold, and that they all were regarding you with love-lorn eyes, and were desiring to possess you with great strength of feeling. Can you do that?"
The three lovers ceased for a moment to chew their dried prunes, and made an attempt to follow the maiden's flight of fancy, their faces meanwhile assuming a peculiarly sheep-like cast. But after a while the Suabian, as the greatest thinker and inventor amongst them, seemed to grasp the idea, and said with a voluptuous grin: "Well, most beloved Miss Zues, if you have no objection, I should indeed like to see you hover around here not only threefold but a hundredfold, and to have you look at me with lovelorn eyes and to offer me a thousand kisses!"
"Nay, nay," Zues replied, rather put out by this, "do not talk in this unbecoming and extravagant style! What is entering your head, you overbold Dietrich? Not a hundredfold and not offering kisses, but only threefold and in a virtuous and honorable manner, so that no wrong may be done me!"
"Yes," now cried Jobst, brandishing a pear stalk and gesturing with it, "only threefold and behaving with the greatest chastity do I see the beloved Miss Buenzlin walking about me and greeting me while placing her hand on her heart. Your most devoted servant, thank you, thank you!" he said, smiling with great urbanity and bowing thrice in different directions as though he really perceived these hallucinations in the air around him. "Thus you should speak," rejoined Zues, with a seductive smirk. "If there really exists any difference between you three, it is you, after all, dear Jobst, who are the most gifted, or at least the most sensible."
Fridolin, the Bavarian, had not yet succeeded in conjuring up in his slower brain all these figments of imagination. But now seeing Jobst evidently scoring a hit, he was afraid that he was losing in favor, and so shouted in haste: "I also notice the lovely virgin, Miss Zues Buenzlin, perambulating right here in my vicinity and throwing voluptuous glances in my direction, while putting her hand on--"
"Fie, you Bavarian," shrieked Zues wrathfully, turning her face aside out of very shame. "Not another word! Where do you get the courage from to talk to me in such a tone of impure grossness, and to allow your fancy to indulge in such smuttiness? Fie, fie!"
The poor Bavarian felt abashed, reddened under this reproof, and looked about foolishly, not knowing what he had done amiss. For really his imagination had not been at work at all, and he had merely meant to repeat about what he had heard Jobst say a moment before and what the latter had been praised for. But now Zues once more turned and remarked: "And you, dear Dietrich, have you not yet been able to reshape that last observation of yours in a more modest guise?"
"Indeed I have," the young man made answer, glad to be forgiven, "I now perceive you only in three different shapes, regarding me pleasantly but in a quite respectable manner, and offering me three white hands, on which I imprint three just as respectable kisses."
"Well, then, that is proper," remarked Zues, "and you, Fridolin, have you recovered from your fit of libertinism? Have you not yet calmed your rampageous blood, and are you now in condition to conceive of an image not so obscene?"
"Begging pardon," murmured Fridolin greatly crestfallen, "I also can now clearly recognize three maidens, each of whom has dried pears in her hand and offers them to me, not being quite at variance with me any longer. One of these is as handsome as the others, and to make a choice among them appears to me a hard matter indeed."
"Well said," remarked Zues, "and since you in your fancy are surrounded by no less than nine equally desirable persons, and nevertheless in spite of such delectable superabundance are suffering in your hearts from a lack of love, you may easily conceive of my own condition. And as you also saw how with modest and pure heart I know to tame my desires, I trust you will take me as a model and will vow here and now to further live in amity and to separate when the hour comes just as pleasantly and without a grudge, no matter how fate may deal with each one of you. Rise and come hither. Let each one of you place his hand in mine, and pledge himself to act just as I have indicated!"
"With perfect good faith," said Jobst in reply, "I at least will do precisely as you suggest!"
And the other two, not to be behindhand, likewise shouted: "And so will I!" and they all three pledged themselves as she had requested, secretly, of course, each with the proviso to run as hard towards the goal as he was able.
"Yes, indeed," Jobst once more interjected, "I at least will live up to my promise, for from my youth upwards I have unfailingly shown a conciliatory and equable disposition. Never in my life have I had a quarrel with anyone, and would never suffer to see an animal tortured. Wherever I have been I was on good terms with my fellows, and thus earned much praise because of my peaceful ways. And while I may say that I, too, understand many things passably well, and am usually held a sensible young man, at no time have I interfered with things that did not concern me, and have always done my duty with consideration for others. I can work just as hard as I choose without losing my health, since I am sound and strong and abstemious in my ways, and have still the best years before me. All the wives of my masters have said that I was a man in a thousand, a real treasure, and that it was easy to get along with me. Oh, indeed, Miss Buenzlin, I believe I could live with you as though in Heaven, in uninterrupted bliss."
"That would not be hard," broke in the Bavarian at this, "to live in concord and happiness with Miss Zues. I also would undertake to do the same. I am not a fool, either. My craft I understand as well as the best, and I know how to keep things in order without ever having to get excited about it. And although I also have dwelt in the largest cities and have earned good wages there, I have never got into trouble, and neither have I ever killed as much as a spider or thrown a brick at a mewling cat. I am temperate and easily pleased with my food, and am able to get along with very little indeed. With that I am in full health and of good temper and cheerful. I can stand much hardship without losing my bland mind, and my good conscience is an elixir that keeps me in excellent spirit. All animals love me and follow me, because they scent my kind heart, for with an unjust man they would not stay. A poodle dog once followed me for three entire days, on leaving the town of Ulm, and at last I was forced to leave it in charge of a peasant, since I as an humble journeyman combmaker could not afford to feed such a creature. When I was traveling through the Bohemian Forest stags and deer used to come within twenty paces of me, and would then stand and watch me. It is wonderful indeed how even such wild beasts know by instinct what kind of human beings they have to deal with."
"True," here sang out the Suabian. "Don't you see how this chaffinch has been fluttering around me this whole while, and how it is anxious to approach me? And that squirrel over there by the pine tree is constantly glancing towards me, and here again a small beetle is creeping up my leg and will not go away. Surely, it must be feeling comfortable with me, the tiny thing."
But now Zues grew jealous. Rather nettled, she spoke: "Animals all love me and like to stay with me. One of my birds remained with me for eight years, until unfortunately it died. Our cat is so fond of me that it forever purrs about me, and our neighbor's pigeons crowd about me every day when I scatter some crumbs for them on my window sill. Wonderful qualities animals have, anyway, each after its kind. The lion loves to follow in the footprints of kings and heroes, and the elephant accompanies the prince and the doughty warrior. The camel bears the merchant through the desert and keeps a store of fresh water in its belly for him. The dog again shares all the dangers with his owner and pitches himself headlong into the sea just to prove his devotion. The dolphin has a strong love for music and swims in the wake of vessels, while the eagle accompanies armies. The ape bears a strong resemblance to the human species and imitates everything he sees us do. The parrot understands our speech and converses with us just like any person of sense. Even the snakes may be tamed and then dance on the tip of their tails. The crocodile sheds human tears and is consequently in those parts esteemed and spared. The ostrich may be saddled and ridden like a horse. The savage buffalo pulls the carriage of his human master, as the reindeer does the sledge of his. The unicorn furnishes man with snow-white ivory and the tortoise with its transparent bones--"
"Beg pardon," interrupted all the three combmakers together, "herein you are slightly in error, for ivory comes from the teeth of the elephant, and tortoise-shell combs are made out of the shell of that animal and not of the bones of the tortoise."
Zues colored deeply and rejoined: "That, I believe, remains to be proved. For you certainly have not seen of your own knowledge whence it is obtained, but only work up its pieces. I as a rule make no mistakes in matters of that kind. However, be that as it may, just let me finish. Not the animals alone have their peculiarities implanted by the hand of God, but even dead minerals that are dug out of the sides of mountains. The crystal is clear as glass, marble hard and full of veins, sometimes white and sometimes black. Amber possesses electric properties and attracts lightning; but in that case it burns and smells like incense. The magnet attracts iron; on slates one can write, but not upon diamonds, for these are hard as steel; the glazier, too, uses the diamond for cutting glass, because it is small and pointed. You see, dear friends, that I can also tell you a few things about minerals and animals. But as regards my relations with them I may say this: that the cat is a sly and cunning beast, and that is why it will attach itself only to persons possessing the same characteristics. The pigeon, however, is the symbol of innocence and simplicity of mind, and may only be the companion of those similarly constituted. And since it is certain that both cats and pigeons are attracted by me, the conclusion must be that I am at the same time sly and cunning, simple-minded and innocent. As Holy Writ says, Be wise like the serpent and simple like the dove! In this way we are able to understand both animals and our relations to them, and to learn a deal, if we only look at things in the right manner."
The poor combmakers had not dared to interrupt her more. Zues had got the better of them, and she went on for some time longer at the same rate, talking about all sorts of intellectual things, until their senses were in a whirl. But they admired Zues' spirit and her eloquence, although with all their admiration none of them deemed himself too humble to possess this jewel of a woman, especially as this ornament of a house came cheap and consisted merely in an eager and tireless tongue. Whether they themselves, after all, were worthy of this that they valued so highly, and whether they would be able to utilize this gift of hers, that class of idiot seldom inquires. They are more like children who reach out for anything that glitters, who lick off the vivid paint on a multicolored toy, and who put a mouth harmonica into their little jaw instead of being content with listening to its music. But while drinking in the high-flown phrases that dropped so mellifluously from her lips, the three of them goaded on their imagination more and more, sharpened their greed to own such a distinguished person, and the more heartless, idle and parrot-like Zues' chatter became, the more melancholy and depressed became her swains. At the same time they felt a terrific thirst in consequence of having swallowed so much of this dried fruit. Jobst and the Bavarian looked for and found in the near-by woods a spring, and filled their stomachs with cold water. But the Suabian had slyly taken along a flask of cherry brandy and water, and with this he now refreshed himself. His plan had been to thus gain an advantage over the others when making the race, for well he knew that the other two were too parsimonious to bring along a stimulant like that or to turn in at a tavern on the way.
This flask he now pulled out of his pocket, and while the others drank their water he offered it to Zues. She accepted it, emptied the flask half, and regarded Dietrich while she thanked him for the refreshment with such an affectionate glance that Dietrich felt more than recompensed and tremendously encouraged in his suit. He could not withstand the temptation to seize her hand courteously and to kiss the tips of her fingers. She on her part lightly touched his lips with her hand, and he made belief of snapping at it, whereupon she smirked falsely and pleasantly at him. Dietrich answered similarly. Then the two sat down on the ground close to each other, and once in a while would touch the soles of the other's shoe with his own, almost as though they were shaking hands with their feet. Zues was bending over slightly, and laid her hand on his shoulder, while Dietrich was on the very point of imitating this little sport when the Bavarian and the Saxon returned jointly, observed this philandering, and groaned and lost color both at the same time.
From the water they had drunk on top of all this dried fruit they had become uneasy, both of them, and now that they saw the playful pair indulging in their little game, everything seemed to turn around them. Cold sweat began to break out on their foreheads, and they nearly gave themselves up for lost. Zues, however, did not for an instant lose her self-possession, but turned to the two and said: "Come, friends, sit down a little while longer here with me, so that we may enjoy, perhaps for the last time, our harmony and our undisturbed friendship."
Jobst and Fridolin pressed up quickly, and sat down, stretching out their thin legs. Zues left her one hand in the Suabian's own, gave Jobst her other one, and touched with the soles of her shoes those of Fridolin, while she turned her face to one after the other, smiling most enchantingly. Thus there are skilled virtuosi who know how to play a number of instruments at once, who shake bells with their heads, blow the Pan's pipe with their mouths, touch the guitar with their hands, strike the cymbal with their knees, with the foot a triangle, and with the elbow a drum suspended from their backs.
But now she rose, smoothed out her dress very carefully, and said: "The hour has now come, I think, my friends, when you must get ready for your great race, the race which your master in his folly has imposed on you, but which we ourselves have agreed to regard as the disposition of a higher power. Run this race with all the energy you can muster, but without enmity or rancor, and leave the crown of the victor willingly to him who has earned it."
And as if stung by a vicious wasp the three sprang up and stood up ready and eager on their legs. Thus they stood, and they were now to try and vanquish each other with the same legs with which until now they had made only slow and thoughtful steps. Not one of the three could even recall ever having used these legs jumping or running. The Suabian, perhaps, was most inclined for the venture. He even seemed to be impatient for the struggle, and an eager look was in his eyes. At that moment of severe crisis they three scanned each other's features closely; the sweat had gathered on their pale brows, and they breathed hard and spasmodically, as though they were already running at full tilt.
"Shake hands once more, in token of good feeling," said Zues. And they did so, but in so lifeless a manner that the three hands dropped to their sides as if made of lead.
"And are we really to start on this fool's errand?" asked Jobst in a voice thick with suppressed emotion, while wiping the perspiration from his forehead. Some single tears were slowly crawling down his hollow cheeks.
"Yes, indeed," chimed in the Bavarian, "are we actually to run and jump like apes on a rope?" and began to weep in good earnest.
"And you, most charming Miss Buenzlin," added Jobst, "how are you going to behave in the circumstances?"
"It behoves me," answered she and held her handkerchief to her eyes, "to keep silent, to suffer and to look on."
"But afterwards," put in the Suabian, with a sly smile, "afterwards. Miss Zues, when all is over?"
"Oh, Dietrich," she responded softly, "do you not know what the poet says: 'As Fate decides, so turns the heart of maid'?" And in introducing this quotation from Schiller she regarded him so temptingly aside that he again lifted up his long legs and shuffled them, feeling like starting off at once.
While the two rivals arranged their little vehicles on their wheels, and Dietrich did the same, she repeatedly touched him with her elbow, or else stepped on his foot. She also wiped the dust from his hat, but at the same time threw inviting glances towards the others, pretending to be highly amused at the Suabian's eagerness. But she did this without being observed by Dietrich.
And now all three of them drew deep breaths and sighed like so many furnaces. They looked all about them, took off their hats, fanned themselves and then once more put on their hats. For the last time they sniffed the air in all the directions of the compass, and tried to recover their breath. Zues herself felt deeply for them, and for very compassion shed sundry tears.
"Here," she then said, "are the last three prunes. Take each of you one in the mouth, that will refresh you. And now depart, and turn the folly of the wicked into the wisdom of the just! That which the wicked have invented for your confusion, now change into a work of self-denial and of serious enterprise, into the well-considered final act of good conduct maintained for years, and into a competitive race for virtue itself."
And she herself with her own fair hands shoved a dried prune between the cramped lips of each, and each of them at once began to gently chew the prune.
Jobst pressed his hand upon his stomach, exclaiming: "What must be, must be. Let us start, in the name of Heaven!"
And saying which and raising his staff, he began to stride ahead, knees strongly bent and nostrils high in air, dragging his little load after him. Scarcely had Fridolin seen that, when he, too, did the same, taking long steps, and without once looking behind him. Both of them could now be seen descending the hill and entering the dusty highway.
The Suabian was the last one to get away, and he was walking, without showing any great hurry, with Zues at his side, grinning in a self-satisfied way, as though he felt sure of victory, and as though he were willing, out of mere generosity, to grant a little start to his rivals, while Zues praised him for this supposed noble action and for his equanimity.
"Ah," she now sighed, "after all, it is a blessing to be sure of a firm support in life! Even where one is sufficiently gifted oneself with insight and cleverness and follows, besides, the path of rectitude, all the same it makes it much easier to walk through life on the arm of a tried friend."
"Quite right," the Suabian hastened to reply, and nudged her energetically with the elbow, while at the same time he watched his rivals so as not to let their start become too great. "Do you at last notice that, my dear Miss Zues? Are you becoming convinced? Have your eyes opened to the truth?"
"Oh, Dietrich, my dear Dietrich," and she sighed more strongly, "I often feel so very lonesome."
"Hop-hop," he now laughed light-heartedly, "that is where the shoe pinches? I thought so all along," and his heart began to leap like a hare in a cabbage patch.
"Oh, Dietrich," she again breathed low, and she pressed herself much tighter against the young man's side. He felt awkward, and the heart in his bosom grew big with pleasure, and joy began to fill it altogether. But at the same instant he made the discovery that his precursors had already vanished from his sight, they having turned a corner. At once he wanted to tear himself loose from Zues' arm and hasten after them. But Zues kept such a tight hold of him that he was unable to do so, and she grasped him so firmly that he thought she was going to faint.
"Dietrich," she whispered, and she made sheep's eyes at him, "don't leave me alone at this moment. I rely on you, you are my sole help! Please support me."
"The devil. Miss Zues," he murmured anxiously, "let me go, let me go, or else I shall miss this race, and then good-by to everything!"
"No, no, you must not leave me just now. I feel that I am becoming very ill!" Thus she lamented.
"I don't care, ill or not ill," he cried, and tore himself loose from her. He quickly climbed a rock whence he was able to overlook the whole highroad below. There they were, he saw the two runners far away, deep below towards the town. And then he made up his mind to a great spurt, but at the same moment once more looked back for Zues. Then he saw her, seated at the entrance to a shady wood path, and motioning to him with her lily hand. This was too much for him. Instead of hurrying down the hill, he hastened back to her. And when she saw him coming, she turned and went in deeper into the cool wood, all the time casting inviting glances at him, for her object was, of course, to draw him away from the race and cheat him out of his victory, make him lose and thus render his further stay in Seldwyla impossible.
But Dietrich, the Suabian, was, as pointed out before, of an inventive and resourceful turn. Thus it was that he, too, quickly made up his mind to alter his tactics, and to score victory not down there but up here. And thus things came to pass very much differently from what had been calculated on. For as soon as he had come up with her in a sheltered spot in the depth of the forest, he fell at her feet and overwhelmed her with the most ardent declarations of his love for her to which any combmaker ever gave expression. At first she made a great attempt to withstand his wooing, bade him be quiet and desist from his violent protestations, and to befool him a little while longer until all danger of his winning should be past. She let loose the torrent of her wisdom and learning, and tried to awe him. But the young Suabian was not to be caught with this chaff. Paying not the slightest regard to all these rhetorical fireworks, he let loose Heaven and Hell in his stormy suit, lavishing caresses and blandishments on the surprised maiden by which he finally stifled the voice of her severely attuned conscience, and his excited and ready wit furnished him with enough of love's ammunition to overcome all her scruples. His eloquence and his bold and ever persistent wheedling and dandling gave her not a second's respite nor leisure to reflect and deliberate. He first took possession of her hands and feet, to kiss and fondle them, despite her strenuous protests, and next he flattered her to the top of her bent, lauding both her bodily and mental charms to the very skies, until Zues was in a very paradise of self-glorification and satisfied vanity. Added to this was the solitude and the sense of security from curious and peering eyes in the leafy shade of the forest. Until at last Zues really lost the compass to which hitherto she had clung as her safe though rather selfish guide through life. She succumbed to all these allurements, not so much by reason of exalted sensualism, as because for the moment she was overcome and helpless against the stronger and more primitive passion of this young man. Her heart fluttered timidly up and down, and vainly attempted to find its former balance. Her thoughts were in a perfect storm of contradictions, and she was altogether like a poor impotent beetle turned over on its back and struggling to recover the use of its limbs. And thus it was that Dietrich vanquished her in every sense. She had tempted him into this impenetrable thicket in order to betray him like another Delilah, but had been quickly conquered by this despised Suabian. And this was not because she was so utterly love-sick as to lose her bearings but rather because she was in spite of all her fancied wisdom so short of vision as not to see beyond the tip of her own nose. Thus they remained together an hour or more in this delectable solitude, embraced ever anew, kissed one another a thousand times, thus realizing the vision of the Suabian not long before, and swore eternal faith and unending affection, and agreed most solemnly, no matter how the affair of the race should terminate, to marry and become man and wife.