DEALING WITH THE "UNATTACHED" PERSON.
"Unattached" people refers to people that have a defective conscience.[10]Their actions are motivated by a lifelong distrust of others and a supreme belief in their own ability. They have no need for other people. Their brains seem to function at a very low evolutionary level, but at times they are superficially charming and persuasive. These people are manipulative and often become sociopaths, and their behavior is thought to have been molded before they were six months of age by insufficiently attentive caretakers.
"Unattached" people, people who bonded inadequately with their parents, are frequently very hard to convince with logical arguments due to their deep distrust of other people and the pattern of control battles continue throughout their lifetime.[11]This sad picture is drawn from the experiences of those professionals who deal with them on a regular basis. The sociopath's irreversible behavior patterns seems to be founded, physiologically, in well established repetitive memory pathways. Perhaps modern science will find ways to help such unfortunate people, possibly through more effective chemical intervention that makes a person feel less threatened, so that they can learn more productive way of treating other people.
Mercifully, some spiritually enlightened people are able to reach older "Unattached" people and to help them to learn to trust others and achieve that measure of "peace that surpasses all understanding" spoken of by the Apostle Paul in his Letter to the Phillipians in chapter 4, verse 7: "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
We are all saddened when others fail to respond to logic and kindness and the use of force is necessary, but the periodic necessity of using force to protect others is often unavoidable. Our own internal conflicts of loneliness brought on by dealing with sociopaths is perhaps brought on by our own fear of not being loved by others. The realization of that phenomenon might help us to resolve our own internal conflict in dealing with the manipulative sociopath.
One of the problems with dealing with unattached people or sociopaths is the difficulty of recognition. At one time, they seem friendly, intelligent, well adjusted, and exhibit apparent sincerity in wanting to be a friend to others. At other times, their behavior seems to snap over, instantaneously, to that of a selfish ten year old. In Kohlberg's view of moral decision making, the age of ten is when a person begins to use the Everyone Rule (what would the world be like if everyone did the action in question). Sociopaths often do not consider others, rather seek instantaneous gratification of their own impulsive needs, much like a ten year old.
Sociopaths are often superficially charming, yet frequently exhibit certain adverse character traits. They are:
untrustworthy vs trustworthy
disloyal vs. loyal
selfish vs. helpful
unfriendly vs. friendly
discourteous vs. courteous (polite)
mean vs. kind
rebellious vs. obedient (a team player)
wasteful vs. thrifty
cowardly vs. brave
dirty vs. clean
profane vs. reverent
Other peculiar traits include speech pathologies, and primary process (crazy) lying. Speech pathologies include "baby" talk by an older person. Crazy lying includes the child caught with a stolen candy bar in his hand who replies, "What candy."
While often charming, unattached people are basically self-centered and lack values that guide their conduct with other people.
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS—VALUES.
Sequential problem solving and dealing with interpersonal relations involves weighing various values and determining what is appropriate or inappropriate behavior. It is, therefore, desirable to have a firm grasp of our own values. What does society expect of us? What do we expect of others? What do we expect of ourselves?
The values of the English speaking countries came largely from Great Britain. The English Common Law system and the Judeo-Christian values expressed in it originated, in part, with King Arthur and the Knights of the Roundtable.
King Arthur and his knights left us with some simple guidelines:
THE KNIGHT'S MOTTO—BE ALWAYS READY.THE KNIGHT'S CODE:On my honor I will do my best—To do my duty to God and my King;To obey the Knight's Laws;To help other people at all times;To keep myself physically strong, mentally alert, and morally straight.THE KNIGHT'S LAWS. The Knight is to be:Trustworthy—I will not lie, cheat, or steal.Loyal—I will not tolerate those who lie, cheat, or steal.Helpful—I will help other people at all times.FriendlyCourteousKindObedientThriftyCheerfulBraveCleanReverent
The underlying values of Knighthood and the Bible were eventually passed on to the Scouting movement for boys and girls by General Sir Baden-Powell about 1908.[12]The priority expressed in the Knight's Code is God, country, others, self—the same sequence as in THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF MOSES:
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
2. Thou shalt not make any graven images.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain.
4. Thou shalt remember the Sabbath to keep it holy.
5. Honor thy mother and father (that thy days may be long in the land which the Lord hath given thee).
6. Thou shalt not murder.
7. Thou not commit adultery.
8. Thou shalt not steal.
9. Thou shalt not lie.
10. Thou shalt not covet.
The Ten Commandments and the underlying message of the Bible, of helping one another, provide us with the framework for appropriate interpersonal relationships. When the human factor in problem solving is kept in mind through a list of values and a code of conduct, personal problem solving becomes a matter of analyzing internal conflict (fear, arrogance, laziness, or loneliness). When a problem presents itself and action seems slow, it is helpful to recognize the ways people evade problems.
PROBLEM SOLVING EVASIONS.
1. SUBLIMATION—sublimation is a compromise involving the gestation phase of problem solving. This often includes hobbies or other relaxation things that tend to disengage the left brain and allow the right brain greater autonomy. These relaxation devices allow the right brain to both synthesize new solutions and recall long unremembered solutions, as well as create new things for the fun of it. This activity occurs naturally. Sometimes sublimation activities are a compulsion driven by feelings of abandonment, as are other compulsions like substance abuse, gambling, and compulsive spending.
2. ANGER—anger is often an immature reaction to frustration or stress, and is not considered a part of higher neo-cortex thinking; it is rather a reptilian reaction in MacLean's Triune Brain scheme.
Anger is also a step in the Grief Process described by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross that progresses through denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.
3. REGRESSION—a return to the "Good Ole" Days. This problem evasion mechanism is farther from the problem solving pathway than anger. It involves the return to behavior of an earlier age.
4. DISTORTION—these problem evasion mechanisms pass even farther from problem solving toward problem evasion.
i. PROJECTION—attributing unacceptable thoughts and feelings to someone else: "They don't like me."
ii. REACTION FORMATION—forming good feelings for a tyrant to minimize bullying: the terrorized victim reaction.
iii. INTELLECTUALIZATION—continuing research to find fool-proof solutions, rather than taking a chance at failure.
iv. DISPLACEMENT—prejudice, racism. Sarcasm and cynicism are frequently used in expressions of superiority over others.
5. REPRESSION—This is the final evasion of problem solving and the most severe. It is a denial mechanism that involves blocking from consciousness that the problem ever existed.
Problem Solving Evasions.
1. ANGER.
i. Tears.
ii. Rage.
2. REGRESSION—"If things were only just like the Good Ole Days."
3. DISTORTION.
i. PROJECTION—Attributing one's own feelings to someone else: "He hates me."
ii. REACTION FORMATION—Adopting favorable emotions toward an abusive-domineering bully. "If I love the terrorist, maybe he won't hurt me."
iii. INTELLECTUALIZATION—"I'll wait until it is totally safe before I do anything. I'll continue to research the problem."
iv. DISPLACEMENT—racial prejudice, cynicism, sarcasm.
4. REPRESSION—"This is now not important enough to spend time on. I can't even remember why it was once important."
* * * * *
Interpersonal Problem Solving.
1. Aristotle.Rhetoric and the Poetics. F. Solmsen, ed. New York: The Modern Library, 1954.(return)
1. Aristotle.Rhetoric and the Poetics. F. Solmsen, ed. New York: The Modern Library, 1954.(return)
2. Magid, Ken and Carole A. McKelvey.High Risk: Children without a Conscience. New York: Bantam Books, 1987.(return)
2. Magid, Ken and Carole A. McKelvey.High Risk: Children without a Conscience. New York: Bantam Books, 1987.(return)
3. Maslow, A. H.Motivation and Personality. New York: Harper and Row, 1954.(return)
3. Maslow, A. H.Motivation and Personality. New York: Harper and Row, 1954.(return)
4. MacLean, Paul.Triune Concept of the Brain and Behavior. Toronto: University of Toronto Press, 1973.(return)
4. MacLean, Paul.Triune Concept of the Brain and Behavior. Toronto: University of Toronto Press, 1973.(return)
5. Sagen, Carl.The Dragons of Eden., New York: Ballantine Books, 1977.(return)
5. Sagen, Carl.The Dragons of Eden., New York: Ballantine Books, 1977.(return)
6. Vygotsky, Lev.Thought and Language. Cambridge: MIT Press, 1962.(return)
6. Vygotsky, Lev.Thought and Language. Cambridge: MIT Press, 1962.(return)
7. A Committee of College and University Examiners. "Educational Objectives and Curriculum Development."Taxonomy of Educational Objectives—Handbook 1: The Cognitive Domain. Benjamin S. Bloom, ed. New York: David McKay Company, Inc., 1956.(return)
7. A Committee of College and University Examiners. "Educational Objectives and Curriculum Development."Taxonomy of Educational Objectives—Handbook 1: The Cognitive Domain. Benjamin S. Bloom, ed. New York: David McKay Company, Inc., 1956.(return)
8. Kohlberg, Lawrence. "Moral Education for a Moral Transition."Educational Leadership32 (October 1975): 46-54.(return)
8. Kohlberg, Lawrence. "Moral Education for a Moral Transition."Educational Leadership32 (October 1975): 46-54.(return)
9. Magid, Ken and Carole A. McKelvey.High Risk: Children without a Conscience. New York: Bantam Books, 1987.(return)
9. Magid, Ken and Carole A. McKelvey.High Risk: Children without a Conscience. New York: Bantam Books, 1987.(return)
10.Unmasking the Psychopath—Antisocial Personality and Related Syndromes. William H Reid, Darwin Dorr, John I. Walker, Jack W. Bonner, eds. New York: W.W. Norton, 1986.(return)
10.Unmasking the Psychopath—Antisocial Personality and Related Syndromes. William H Reid, Darwin Dorr, John I. Walker, Jack W. Bonner, eds. New York: W.W. Norton, 1986.(return)
11. Cline, Foster.Understanding and Treating the Severely Disturbed Child. Evergreen, CO: Evergreen Consultants in Human Behavior, 1979.(return)
11. Cline, Foster.Understanding and Treating the Severely Disturbed Child. Evergreen, CO: Evergreen Consultants in Human Behavior, 1979.(return)
12.Handbook for Boys. New York: Doubleday-Page and Co., 1911.(return)
12.Handbook for Boys. New York: Doubleday-Page and Co., 1911.(return)
* * * * *
APPENDIX 1
Outline Styles
1.
A.
1.
a.
b.
2.
B.
2.
3.
I.i.ii.iii.II.III.IV.APPENDIX 2.PERSUASIVE ARGUMENT FORM.
First establish topic, audience, and personal position. Then gather information and organize the argument.
1. Introduction.
Establish friendly intentions with the audience by using a
sincere complement.
State the topic of the argument.
State your personal position.
State three points you intend to make in the argument.
Arrange these points (A) second best point, (B) weakest point, (C) strongest point. This is known in the study of rhetoric as the Nestorian Order. It achieves interest at the beginning and finishes strong.
2. The Body.
A. The first point, but the second best argument.
1. First example illustrating point A.
2. Example 2.
3. Example 3.
B. The second point and the weakest point
1. The first answer to the audience's anticipated question
about some weak point.
2. Answer 2
3. Answer 3
C. The third point and the strongest.
1. First example illustrating point C
2. Example 2
3. Example 3
3. The Conclusion:
Restate your position to the topic.
Restate your reasons in the same order as in the introduction and body: A, B, C.
Introduce a fourth benefit from taking the position and make it a personal, human interest benefit to leave the audience in a good frame of mind.
APPENDIX 3
Argumentative Fallacies
Deductive reasoning is stating a series of valid relationships with a reasonable conclusion.When it rains the streets get wet.It is raining.Therefore the streets are wet.[1]
Several reasoning fallacies exist: (1)formal deductive fallacies, which occur because of an error in the form of the argument, and (2) informal false content fallacies.
(1) A formal deductive fallacy might switch a premise with the conclusion:
The streets are wet.
When it rains the streets get wet.
Therefore it is raining.
This conclusion is fallacious because there are other reasons that could have caused the street to be wet: snow melt, a street sweeper, etc.
(2) Several informal false content fallacies are: LOGIC ERRORS:
* The "STRAW MAN" deception.
This is deceptive attack on an opponents position using a similar but different position.
"The President states that he is a 'Peace' president, but will help those in need. No doubt he will withdraw the NATO peace keeping force from Bosnia and send them to Somalia to assist with the famine relief."
What the president meant to say was that he will seek all reasonable diplomatic solutions to international aggression but will not abandon international treaties and will assist other nations with military forces.
* The "FALSE DILEMMA" deception.
This deception often presents an argument so horrible that it is an unacceptable alternative, and the speaker's argument is presented as the only alternative.
"Ebola virus has been accidentally released in Merryman Corporation research facility in Maryland. One way to destroy it is to drop a nuclear bomb on the facility. Another alternative is to accept the proposal of the Paladin Corporation to take over supervision of the contract granted to the Merryman Corporation. Paladin estimates that they can decontaminate it with lethal gas for a mere ten million dollars."
* The "DOMINO THEORY" deception.
The domino theory deception makes the claim that if one thing happens another will invariably follow.
"If South Vietnam falls to the Communists, every other nation in Southeast Asia will follow, including Australia."
* The "TWO WRONGS MAKE A RIGHT" deception.
"It is all right to execute prisoners because South Africa does it too."
EMOTIONAL TACTICS.
* The "ATTACK THE SPEAKER" diversion.
This fallacy is known as the AD HOMINEM fallacy.
"The mayor proposes opening a day care center for city hall employees. The mayor was once divorced. The mayor is not competent to make family decisions."
The mayor's willingness to please his employees and his administrative competence are diverted with a personal attack.
* The "COMMONLY ACCEPTED PRACTICE" deception.
This deception often is designed to make an action seem biased or prejudicial.
"It is common practice to replace computers in business every five years. The military even has a policy to that effect ."
* The "APPEAL TO PITY" tactic.
"If welfare recipients are required to work, many recipients will not be able to watch television as much."
* The "INFALLIBLE TRUTH or CLICHE" deception. "This meal is not well seasoned. Too many cooks spoil the soup."
The emotional tactics often include cynicism or sarcasm and are used to belittle the other person. The emotional tactics are often used to make another person feel worthless and unloved.
* * * * *
Argumentative Fallacies.
1. Critical Thinking and Reasoning: A Handbook for Teachers. Albany: The University of the State of New York, 1976.(return)
1. Critical Thinking and Reasoning: A Handbook for Teachers. Albany: The University of the State of New York, 1976.(return)
* * * * *
REFERENCES.
Research Skills.
Edwards, Betty.
Drawing on The Right Side of The Brain
. Los Angeles: Tarcher, Inc., 1979.
Lucas, Jerry and Harry Lorayne.
The Memory Book
. New York: Ballantine Books, 1974.
Mindil, Phyllis.
Power Reading
. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentise Hall, 1993.
Minninger, Joan.
Total Recall—How to Boost Your Memory Power
. Emmaus, Pa: Rodale Press, 1984.
Neural mechanisms of learning and memory
. Mark R. Rosenzweig and Edward L. Bennett, eds. Cambridge, Mass. MIT Press, 1976.
Robinson, Francis P.
Effective Studying
. 4th ed. New York: Harper and Row, 1970.
Spense, Jonathan D.
The Memory Palace of Matteo Ricci
. New York: Penquin Books, 1984.
Spitzer, Herbert F. "Studies in Retention."
Journal of Educational Psychology
. Vol. XXX (Dec. 1930) No. 9.
* * * * *
Practical Problem Solving.
Aristotle. Rhetoric and the Poetics
. F. Solmsen, ed. New York: The Modern Library, 1954
Beyer, Barry K. "Developing a Scope and Sequence for Thinking Skills Instruction."
Educational Leadership
45 (April 1988): 26-30.
"Classifying Fallacies Logically", Ludwig F. Schlecht,
Teaching 1679. Philosophy
, March, 1991, 14:1, p.53-65
A Committee of College and University Examiners. "Educational Objectives and Curriculum Development."
Taxonomy of Educational Objectives—Handbook 1: The Cognitive Domain
. Benjamin S. Bloom, ed. New York: David McKay Company, Inc., 1956.
A Committee of College and University Examiners. "Educational Objectives and Curriculum Development."
Taxonomy of Educational Objectives—Handbook 2: The Affective Domain
. Benjamin S. Bloom, ed. New York: David McKay Company, Inc., 1956.
Critical Thinking and Reasoning: A Handbook for Teachers
. Albany: The University of the State of New York, 1976.
Gingerick, Owen. "The Galileo Affair."
American Scientific
. August, 1982, #247, p.132-138.
Maslow, A. H.
Motivation and Personality
. New York: Harper and Row, 1954.
* * * * *
Fallacies.
"Classifying Fallacies Logically", Ludwig F. Schlecht,
Teaching Philosophy
, March, 1991, 14:1, p.53-65
Pospesel, Howard.
Argument—Deductive Logic Exercises
. Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey: Prentice-Hall, 1971.
Critical Thinking and Reasoning: a handbook for Teachers
. Albany: SUNY, 1976.
* * * * *
Developing a Solution.
Gardner, Howard.
Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences
. New York: Basic Books, 1983.
* * * * *
Leadership Styles.
Fiedler, Fred E. "The Trouble With Leadership Training Is That it Doesn't Train Leaders."
Psychology Today
6 (February 1973): 23-30.
Goodall, H. Lloyd, Jr.
Small Group Communications in Organizations
. 2nd ed. Dubuque, IA: Wm. C. Brown, 1990.
Schultz, Beatrice G.