VI

Limited knowledge of the abnormal.

Looking at all sides of the present situation, it is my personal conclusion that every one should learn first the scientific facts regarding normal processes connected with the sexual system; and then for the general reader there should be only a limited amount of warning knowledge regarding the dangers of sexual abnormalities.

Periods of early life.

In § 8 of the Report of the Committee of Three of the American Federation for Sex-hygiene, by Morrow and others, the life of the child was divided into four periods, namely,—under six years, from six to twelve, twelve to sixteen, sixteen to maturity. This division now seems to me to be too arbitrary, and I have come to believe that it is more helpful to consider sex-instruction for three periods as follows: pre-adolescence (ending at eleven to fourteen years); early adolescence (twelve to sixteen years for girls, thirteen to seventeen for boys); later adolescence (sixteen to twenty-one for girls, eighteen to twenty-five for boys).

§ 25.Elementary Instruction and Influence

Nature-study.

The life-histories of plants and animals as taught in the best nature-study[13]are important in forming attitude towards reproduction and giving a basis for simple and truthful answers to the child's questions as to the origin of theindividual human life. The publications listed in the last section of this book under the headings "For Girls" and "For Boys" will help parents and teachers.

There is need of little private hygienic instruction, but of much guidance away from harmful habits. This will be indicated in the next section which considers masturbation as it concerns children of both sexes and all ages.

Protection.

The protection of children from corrupting influences is an important work of sex-education in pre-adolescent years. Probably the greatest safety lies in parents giving simple facts regarding reproduction and in cultivating confidence so that any accidental contact of their children with vulgarity will be counteracted in advance. Many parents, especially mothers, have found this possible.

Girls' preparation for puberty.

In the years between ten and twelve every child should learn from a parent or other adult confidant some general facts regarding their approaching puberty. This is especially important in the case of girls, for many a girl has been physically and mentally injured because a prudish mother has procrastinated too long the giving of information regarding the first menstrual period. The facts in the first thirty pages of W.S. Hall's "Life Problems" should be known by many girls of eleven and by the great majority before thirteen. Some books for young girls are defective in that they avoid reference tothe coming changes. I see no excuse for a sex-hygiene book for girls who are too young to be trusted with the simplest knowledge regarding menstruation. Such children should be interested in nature studies and perhaps the elements of general hygiene, but certainly not in books with curiosity-stimulating titles.

Special needs of boys.

Since boys entering puberty pass through no such sharply defined beginning as girls do, the information they need in advance is not so specific. At the same time, we must recognize that the average boy under twelve years picks up more information regarding sexual life than a girl does, and so the problem of teaching self-control comes earlier, although the average girl enters puberty a year or two before the boy. Parents and teachers must recognize the fact that sexual tendencies come to many boys several years before puberty, and masturbation and even premature sexual intercourse are possible problems with many boys long before the twelfth year. The boy's early gathering of sexual information is not without advantage, for it becomes possible for parents and other adult confidants to explain many important truths as to the proper use of his sex organs and as to his conduct towards girls. All this can be done with the average boy of eleven or twelve and with hundreds of even nine and ten without any fear of giving information that is startlingly new and without any danger of giving a nervous shock.

Cautious teaching of girls.

It is not so with average girls of equal ages, if we may accept the opinion of many women who are trained in science and medicine. Specific information as to the functional relationships of the two sexes is said by many educated women to have been absolutely new and startling to them at twenty and twenty-five years. Evidently there is a special reason for gradual and cautious teaching of girls, and so it is probably best, as many parents urge, that in pre-adolescent years the girl's instruction in social-sexual lines be training in modest deportment and a proper reserve towards boys. This ought to be sufficient for the girl's protection until gradually in adolescent years she learns the whole story of life, probably several years later than her boy friends whose natural leadership in sexual activity makes their early information desirable as a protection to both sexes.

Children's friendships.

In the pre-adolescent years parents and teachers should coöperate in developing a spirit of group fellowship between boys and girls and at the same time instill into the boys something of that chivalrous and protective attitude of boys towards girls such as one finds in the families of the highest culture. I emphatically mean "group fellowship," for it is certainly undesirable to encourage in pre-adolescents any tendency towards paired comradeship. It is certainly best that boys and girls should have many good friends of both sexes. The real truth back of the old adage "two is company and three is a crowd"makes the "crowd" highly desirable for both pre-adolescence and early adolescence, for in these years it is friendship and not romantic love that will be most helpful in the later life. As one step in this direction, all sensible adults should show their disfavor to the abominable habit of teasing small children concerning their best friends of the other sex. Parents and teachers will do some of the best work in the larger sex-education if they begin in pre-adolescent years to develop the social life of the children along lines similar to those suggested above.

Summary.

Summarizing, it is evident that there is very little direct sex-instruction suitable for pre-adolescent years. So far as the child's own life is concerned, it now seems clear that parents or other adult confidants must instruct individuals, or possibly small uniformly selected groups. Class instruction seems out of the question except for life-history studies of animals and plants. On the whole, then, there is nothing radical or impossible in the proposition that there should be a beginning of sex-education before the advent of adolescence.

§ 26.Hygienic and Educational Treatment of Unhealthful Habits

Problems of children.

All adults should take a sane and scientific view of the sex problems that are likely to come even to normal children. We must remember that they are born with sexual mechanisms that may easily and automatically lead into harmful habits unless parents and teachers guidehygienically and mentally along the lines that are known to offer safety.

Masturbation.

Concerning habitual manipulation of the sexual organs of either sex, known in medical literature as masturbation or self-abuse (often erroneously called "onanism"), there are certain facts that are important for the guidance of all parents and teachers. I discuss it in this connection since the problem often arises in the later years of the pre-adolescent period.

Does not indicate degeneracy.

It is absurd to suppose that the tendency towards the habit means degeneracy or innate viciousness of children. Young horses, dogs, monkeys, and other animals sometimes form a similar habit, the stimulus being some irritation of the sexual organs. Hence, it is not at all unnatural when children attempt to relieve their irritated organs by friction, and then it is inevitable that the sensitive nerve endings will give sensations that are more or less pleasurable and satisfying, depending upon the sex, age, and emotional peculiarity of the individual child. This fact suggests to parents and teachers the methods of prophylaxis; namely, avoid (1) irritation of sexual organs and (2) opportunity for manipulation.

Irritation.

Circumcision.

With regard to irritation, the first sign of such disturbance may appear in babyhood. In the case of boys, whose structure renders them vastly more liable than girls to external irritation, the family physician should make sure during infancy whether circumcisionor a stretching of the prepuce (foreskin) may be desirable. According to Dr. Emmet Holt, the eminent pediatrician, about one male baby in four or five is born with an elongated or tight prepuce that needs surgical attention. A corresponding abnormality of the clitoris is sometimes found in baby girls. Some radical surgeons advocate universal circumcision of boys because they believe that it reduces local irritation, favors cleanliness, tends to prevent masturbation, and reduces susceptibility to the venereal diseases. There is certainly some truth in these claims; but some conservative surgeons point out that for the great majority of boys all these advantages may be obtained by reasonable attention to hygienic habits, that orthodox Jewish and other circumcised boys are by no means free from harmful habits, that some boys are more irritable after circumcision, that preputial stretching is often a good substitute for circumcision, and that the taunts of other boys often make circumcised boys too conscious of their own mutilation. A scientific doctor who has no special financial interest in the increase of surgical operations and who carefully reviews both the radical and conservative literature relating to circumcision, will not hasten to submit boys to this operation until it is certain that their sexual organs happen to have congenital deformity that only radical surgical treatment can correct.

Hygienic rules.

In addition to making sure that uncleanliness or structural abnormality are not responsible forirritation of sex organs, there are some special hygienic rules useful for parents and teachers who have charge of children. Most important is avoidance of habit formation. Clothing should be well adjusted to avoid pressure and friction of the sexual organs, and so constructed (especially night clothing) that it is not convenient for the hands to reach the organs. Normal boys require pockets, but they should open at the waist-band and not at the side of the hips. The reason for these suggestions is evident. When we recall that little children naturally tend to explore themselves, such as by putting fingers into the mouth, feeling their toes, inserting foreign objects into nose and ears, and when we also recall how quickly a child may learn the habit of sucking its thumb, we must realize the importance of guarding the child from extending such activities to its sexual organs, which, because they possess the most sensitive nerve endings in the body, are most liable to lead to habitual manipulation. In the light of such facts, it is nonsense to assume, as so many good mothers have done, that only innately vicious children learn masturbation. The truth is that in the case of most children under twelve this habit has an origin no more vicious than such habits as thumb-sucking; and in all cases of habits, parents and others responsible for the children should be given the blame.

Other suggestions for parents.

The following suggestions in addition to those above are likely to help parents do muchtowards avoiding or solving the early sex problems of their children. These facts apply also to later years.

Have children sleep on a hard mattress. The old-time feather bed was dangerous. There should be light-weight covers, and the room cool. Children should sleep on either side,rarelyin the unnatural back position. Aim to have regular sleeping hours; but do not send children to bed unsupervised when they are excited and not tired enough for immediate sleep. Have them arise as soon as wide awake in the morning. Never punish children by sending them to bed.

Dangers of privacy.

Do not leave children to their own devices; they may naturally fall into dangerous play. Privacy is often demanded by the moods of adults, but it is dangerous for children. A certain camp for boys has the commendable rule that the boys have no privacy during the entire summer. Many educators and physicians condemn private bedrooms or cubicles in schools for boys.

Athletics.

A strenuous life of physical and mental activity is the best solution of personal control of sexual instincts. Reasonable athletics and study make an ideal combination for both boys and girls. And yet we must not trust absolutely to athletics or other physical work, for there are certainly many individuals whose sexual desires are not controlled by muscular exercise. Much of the formal athletic training may haveno more influence on sexual control than dogmatic creeds.

Drugs.

Strong condiments and alcoholic drinks are known to be sexual excitants for many people, and for this and other hygienic reasons should be forbidden to children. There is a widespread, but still undemonstrated opinion that tea, coffee, tobacco, and strong condiments have an exciting effect. However, there is plenty of scientific authority, based on other hygienic grounds, for avoiding these at least during the years of growth.

Constipation.

Constipation is likely to cause sexual irritation, and hence this is an additional reason for submitting children to competent doctors for treatment of this disturbance which so seriously affects general health, especially by auto-intoxication.

Bathing.

Cool bathing in the morning, especially of the sexual organs, is hygienic, except for girls during the monthly periods (including two days before the expected menstrual onset). For various reasons, bathing in very warm water should be very limited, and then only for cleansing.

Form of instruction.

In hygienic instructions to children, avoid giving them any ideas concerning the supposed prevalence of the habit of masturbation. There is a dangerous tendency to follow the crowd. Also, the habit should never be described to children except as "unnecessary handling of the sex organs." It is dangerous to suggest to children, as certain books do, that there is anypleasurable sensation resulting from manual manipulation of the organs, for the force of suggestion or curiosity has led some children to experiment with themselves until they formed the habit.

Symptoms.

There are no absolutely certain signs or symptoms, and those suggested by certain authors, especially by quack doctors, make young people and even parents and teachers judge some individuals in an unfortunate way. Especially should parents and teachers remember that there is absolutely no scientific basis for supposing that great diffidence, indigestion, pimples on the face, boys' lack of interest in girls, and numerous other popular "signs," are indications of the masturbation habit. Like the symptoms in patent-medicine advertising, the above "signs" are so general that they are sure to fit some cases.

Insanity.

Do not tell children the ancient falsehood that insanity will surely result from handling the sexual organs. It is true that masturbation is a common habit of certain types of insane people and of some neurotics; but it is probable that the habit is more often one of several factors rather than the direct cause of the nervous breakdown. However, it is scientific to say that the habit may weaken the nervous system and indirectly affect general health, especially in pre-adolescent and early adolescent years. Probably the greatest nervous damage comes because there is often greater excess than is possible in natural sexual relations; the strain of all sexual excess ismore in loss of nervous energy than of secretions. The safest advice one can give children is that the doctors agree that unnecessary touching of sexual organs has interfered with the health of many children and that those who avoid this are most likely to grow up strong in body and mind. This is the truth and practically the whole of the known truth that might have influence with young people.

Mental habit.

Mental masturbation or "day dreaming" concerning sexual functions is probably more harmful than mechanical manipulation. It is believed to be more common in young women than in men. However, there is little reliable evidence as to the prevalence of the habit. As an educational problem, there is nothing to be done beyond informing all adolescent young people that allowing their minds to dwell on sexual affairs may interfere with nervous health, scholarship, and future efficiency in life. Hard mental and physical work and strenuous play as a daily routine will avoid or solve most such difficulties of young people.

Not hopeless.

In all dealing with this problem of young people, we must beware of overemphasis or exaggeration. Parents and teachers should do all possible to prevent and cure the habit; but there is still hope for most young people who, in spite of warning, occasionally lapse into their old habits. Both men and women of this type have led their classes through college and won success afterwards. Probably they would have done stillbetter if entirely free from the habit. On the other hand, men and women of neurotic inheritance combined with the habit have suffered nervous collapse during college years; and it is scientific to assume that the additional nervous strain produced by masturbation was a contributing factor. Evidently, we dare make no definite prophecy as to what will happen to one who in early life forms the habit of masturbation. There is no excuse for excessive alarm in any ordinary case; but, as we have seen, there are good reasons why parents and teachers should calmly and yet firmly help young people avoid unnatural sexual activity.

To those who must consider the problem of masturbation in boarding schools, I recommend Hime's "Schoolboys' Special Immorality."

[13]See books on nature-study,e.g., Holtz's "Nature-Study," Hodge's "Nature-Study and Life," Comstock's "Handbook of Nature-Study." Morley's "Renewal of Life," March's "Towards Racial Health," and Hall's "The Doctor's Daughter" suggest the main lines of the nature-study approach to sex-education.

§ 27.The Biological Foundations

In discussing instruction for the pre-adolescent years I have stressed biological nature-study as important for the purpose of giving general knowledge of how new living things come into the world. This will develop a good attitude concerning the origin of the individual human life. In this lecture I wish to direct attention to the scientific facts which are foundations for the sexual knowledge that is important for other phases of sex-instruction during early or late adolescence.

Biological foundations.

I believe that the best introduction to advanced sex-instruction is through biological ideas which may be presented in popular lectures and books; but, of course, will be best taught in courses of biological science. My own view as to the selection of materials for such biological studies is expressed in the sections on reproduction connected with the account of each animal or plant type in the "Applied Biology" and in the last chapter of the "Introduction to Biology."[14]In these books the study of life-histories of plants and animals leads up through vertebrates to mammals,and there are a few remarks suggesting that human development is like the mammals.[15]At this point these books should be supplemented by a brief survey of the essential structure, physiology, and embryology of human reproduction.

Mixed classes.

Biological studies of human reproduction should not be coeducational in high schools or the early years of college. Mature college students who have passed through extensive biological studies, may, without apparent embarrassment, study human embryology in mixed classes; but after experience with many such groups I have begun to think that separate classes are desirable if the course is made to include all the important facts that college graduates should know concerning human reproduction. At any rate, there should be special lessons or reading dealing with detailed information that directly concerns one sex only.

Impersonal approach of biology.

I certainly do not believe in completely revamping biological science for the purposes of sex-education. It is better not to "spoil" a course by overemphasis on sex, for much of the value of biology as a basis for sex-education is the fact that sex appears gradually and naturally and far away from human relations. This impersonal approach will be lost if the course in biology seems to revolve around sex-education, for that will make sex too prominent.

It is still debatable as to how much should be taught in high schools or in public lectures concerning the biological facts of human reproduction. I think that I can make my own views clearer if I discuss this first for boys, then for girls.

§ 28.Scientific Facts for Boys

First, it is generally agreed that boys of high-school age may profit by learning their own sexual structure by means of diagrams such as the one in Hall's "Sexual Hygiene." There is no harm, and also no gain, in minute description, especially histological.

Scientific names.

The chief technical names of the parts of the male organs—testicle (spermary or testes), sperm duct (vas deferens), scrotum, prostate, seminal vesicles, penis, glans, prepuce (foreskin), urethra—should be taught; and the scientific dignity of these words as substitutes for vulgar words should be emphasized. In dealing with boys and young men I have noticed that these and other scientific words have a great influence on their attitude. The scientific names of the sex organs should be made part of popular vocabulary for the reason that there are no established common names corresponding to lungs, liver, stomach, arm, leg, brain, and so on for all prominent organs except the sexual. These have been left without authoritative names except in scientific language, and as a result dozens of ordinary words have been vulgarly applied and unprintable ones invented byuneducated people. Such usage of vulgar terminology is widespread, especially among men and boys. An editor of schoolbooks recently called my attention to the necessity of changing some ordinary words in certain books because in some localities the boys applied the words to sexual organs. Even the little words "nuts," "stones," "balls" accompanied by the adjective "two" mean testicles in the widespread vulgar language; and a physician told me that a college graduate used one of these words the other day when seeking medical advice concerning her baby. Here is an intolerable situation that must be improved by establishing in popular usage the dignified scientific words for the chief sexual organs. We must begin to do so by teaching the words frankly to boys of adolescent years, and by persuading parents to teach their children correctly.

Sex-physiology.

Having learned the structure and names of their sexual organs, boys may easily understand the function of each part if explained in simple language. Ten or twenty minutes ought to be enough time for stating the important facts. One printed page could state them clearly. Here is the time for personal hygienic advice, especially such topics as: rules for self-control; harmful habits (see discussion of masturbation in § 26); sexual activity not necessary for health; occasional nocturnal emissions not pathological.[16]

Female organs.

I believe it is well for boys of adolescent years to know a few leading facts regarding female structure and function, but such knowledge is best learned from oral description by a well-balanced teacher. Diagrams and (in some schools) a demonstrated dissection of a cat or other animal will be helpful. The meaning of the ovaries as sources of the egg-cells and of the uterus as the place for development of the fertilized egg-cell should be explained in a serious way that will help boys get some fundamental ideas as to what motherhood means Boys, moreover, should be informed concerning the existence of the periodic disturbance in the other sex, for unless they know they are sure at times to misunderstand their sisters and other girls. Professor W.S. Hall has stated the essential information in "Chums" (for boys twelve to sixteen), but his comparison of periodicity in the two sexes is not strictly accurate, for there are not in men any sexual cycles that are strictly comparable with the menstrual cycles of women.

No pictures.

It is probably best, as urged by several writers, that the life-like illustrations, some of them photographic, in books of human anatomy be kept away from boys of early adolescent age. Diagrams can be made to explain all that is necessary, and without the danger of stimulation that might come from the illustrated medical books.

Embryology.

The embryological facts of human biology are very impressive to boys and young men who know little of science. I believe that no other line of scientific facts is so likely to claim a serious and respectful attitude. The ideal way for giving a popular glimpse at human development is with a small series of lantern slides or photographs from embryological works. Unfortunately, there is no available popular treatment of the main facts of human development, but teachers trained in biology can easily glean the facts for the preparation of a short lecture.

Social diseases.

Since the venereal diseases are due to micro-organisms, I believe that they should be introduced in connection with the study of bacteria and other germs, either in school courses or in popular lectures. Such instruction should be very brief.

§ 29.Scientific Facts for Girls

Girls more innocent.

I discussed first the problem of selecting scientific facts for boys because there is little dispute as to the advisability of giving them as much scientific information as may possibly replace the vulgar knowledge that the average boy is likely to possess. I know that there are afew men and many women who will disagree with this because they believe in the absolute ignorance of their boys; but I doubt whether one healthy adolescent boy in a hundred belongs in the "innocent" class. So we need not worry much concerning any supposed danger of treating facts too frankly, provided that they are given a dignified, scientific setting. In the case of numerous adolescent girls there is certainly dense ignorance, and so there must be more difficulty in getting approval of parents and teachers concerning facts proposed for girls. Often when talking with groups of parents I have heard them say that they would like to have their boys learn the scientific truth regarding certain facts, but they feel that it would be too startling and unnecessary for their daughters. Such is the widespread feeling which must be seriously considered in all planning of advanced sex-instruction for girls. No doubt there will be much honest disagreement with the suggestions here offered.

The biological introduction based on plants and animals should be the same as for boys (§ 27).

Structure and names.

An adolescent girl of fourteen to sixteen should know the general plan of her own sexual structure. She should know the scientific names of her organs, not because there are many vulgar names as in the case of boys, but because dignified names help attitude. Ovaries, uterus (womb), vagina, Fallopian tubes, and vulva will be sufficient. Detailed description of the externalorgans (vulva) might arouse curiosity that leads to exploration and irritation, and hence many women physicians think that a girl under sixteen or possibly eighteen needs only the name vulva for the external parts surrounding the entrance to the vagina.

An ancient belief.

Some books for girls perpetuate the ancient but absurd emphasis on the virginal significance of the hymen; and a recent book from a prominent publisher goes so far as to try to frighten girls into remaining chaste by stating that a physician could discover if they have been unchaste. This is far from being always true, for the structure may be congenitally absent, may sometimes remain after sexual union, or may be accidentally destroyed in childhood; and reliable physicians have stated that proving unchastity by the hymen is by no means easy. Hence, the less said about the ancient belief, the better for young women. The truth is that the hymen is a worse-than-useless relic of embryological development, and it is neither an indicator nor a dictator of morality.

Physiology of women.

With regard to the physiology of the female organs, the following topics should be considered: The meaning of puberty as the beginning of a long fertile period of about thirty years; the nature of menstruation as a periodical process preparing the lining of the uterus for reception and attachment of an embryo if a sperm-cell meets a liberated egg-cell near an ovary, and not as a season of illness invented by the powers ofdarkness; the possibility of fertilization following sexual relations at any time during the fertile life of a woman; the essential facts of sexual relation as a method of depositing sperm-cells so that they can swim on the way to meet an egg-cell; and the nature of the close blood relationship of mother and embryo. These are physiological topics which many parents would like to have taught to their daughters of fourteen to eighteen by some careful woman or by some good book.

Social ills.

With regard to the social diseases and the social evil, I have long sympathized with the conservatives who hold that extremely limited knowledge is sufficient for the average girl under eighteen or twenty. No doubt that many working girls in cities need more protective knowledge than do school girls of the same age. Hall's "Life Problems" seems to me to give the important facts.

Habits.

As in the case of boys of adolescent years, there should be enough teaching to warn against harmful habits. Such knowledge may possibly be of personal application to a few girls and it will be of use to many girls who will later as mothers or teachers have the care of small children.

Knowledge concerning men.

I find that many thoughtful mothers and women physicians think that girls in late adolescent years should learn from some reliable source the most general facts regarding male structure and function. Here again the strong argument is that the majority will have the care of small children. Such instruction has oftenbeen given as part of courses in biology and physiology and also in special lectures. It is certain that some parents will favor such instruction, and others will regard it as indecent to suggest that girls should have any such knowledge. There will always be some parents who will let their daughters face life-problems blindly.

Mothercraft.

Sometime in adolescent years girls should learn the scientific facts regarding mothercraft or the care of small children. This phase of the sex-education is rapidly attracting attention from those who are interested in practical arts education, and before many years pass it will probably be treated adequately in connection with household arts in schools and colleges. I have already referred to household arts in general as making a decided contribution to the larger sex-education which works for harmonious adjustment of the sexes in the home.

[14]Both books by M.A. and Anna N. Bigelow.

[15]Sets of drawings and lantern slides for the biological introduction to sex may be obtained from the American Social Hygiene Association, 105 W. 40th St., New York City.

[16]The instructor of young men should not allow confusion to arise from the recent contention of some medical men that emissions are abnormal or unnatural because they are not known to occur in animals. Certain it is that they are adaptations to changes caused by enforced sexual restraint after the seminal secretions begin with puberty. Such restraint is, of course, abnormal or unnatural if we compare with animals; but many of our acts are unnatural and not necessarily unhealthful. For instance, the sedentary life of the student or professional worker is abnormal or unnatural, but it need not be unhealthful, if hygienic adaptations are made. Likewise, seminal emissions are unnatural for primitive men or animals without sexual restraint, but this does not mean that they are unhealthful for self-controlled men. Here, as in many other cases, comparison with animals is misleading and does not teach us useful facts concerning human sexual functioning. The truth is that physicians have no evidence of harm from emissions that are not caused by voluntary activity.

Methods and teachers.

In this lecture I shall discuss a number of problems in the relations of men to women which ought somehow to be made clear to boys who are in transition to manhood. I can do little more than point out the lines along which it is desirable that young men should be informed and influenced; for I confess that I do not know any guaranteed pedagogical method for teaching along these lines. So far as I can now see, it seems to me that a good beginning would consist in getting the best ideas before young men by lectures, books, and personal conversations. Here more than in any other phase of sex-education the influence of personality is of great importance. Many an ordinary teacher or lecturer may well present the cold facts of biological science that help interpret sex, but one who does not by his personal qualities command the entire confidence of his hearers is worse than useless in presenting to young men such problems as those outlined in this lecture under the following subheadings: Developing young men's attitude towards womanhood;developing ideals of love and marriage; reasons for pre-marital continence; essential knowledge concerning prostitution; need of more refinement in men; dancing as a sex problem for men; dress as a sexual appeal; the problem of self-control; the mental side of a young man's sex life.

§ 30.Developing Attitude towards Womanhood

Influence of ideals.

Many there are among the believers in the larger sex-education who feel sure that a young man's greatest safety lies in having high ideals of womanhood. I have known a number of men who passed unscathed through the storm and stress of early manhood because each of them could say, as Tennyson makes the lover confess to Princess Ida, "from earlier than I know, immersed in rich foreshadowings of the world, I loved the woman." Some of these men learned to love "the woman" in the abstract, in the dream world, perhaps as the "brushwood girl" of Kipling. Others first loved "the woman" through boyhood sweethearts. Still others came to love her through mothers who inspired them with reverence for womanhood and motherhood.

..."Happy heWith such a mother! faith in womankindBeats with his blood, and trust in all things high comes easy to him."(Tennyson)

But it matters little for the future purity of the boy on the threshold of manhood whether he haslearned to love "the woman" in the dreamland of youth or in the very real world of life. It is simply a question of the intensity of the devotion and of the loftiness of the ideals which She has aroused within him.

Who may influence boys.

Now, we of the older generation, who as parents and teachers are largely the makers of the boy's view of life, may play a very important part in developing in him a love for "the woman," a reverence for womanhood. The greatest opportunity falls to the lot of that mother whose natural gifts and education adapt her for impressing her son profoundly with appreciation of womanhood. The next greatest opportunity comes to the woman who as an instructor in school, church, or other institution comes into intimate relations that sometimes give the teacher greater influence than the mother is able or willing to exert. Finally, we must not discount the value of men's coöperation in this problem, for many a boy's attitude towards women is largely the reflection of what he has seen in his father and in other men, particularly in his teachers both secular and religious.

Now, while the direct influence of personality is most important in this problem of developing a young man's attitude towards women, organized educational effort should not be neglected. It is important that both men and women help by encouraging young men to read good literature that unobtrusively tends to introduce them to the best in womanhood (see § 23); and by discussing withthem, as opportunity offers, the higher ideals of the relationships between men and women.

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