Limericks
Now what is a Limerick pray?I beg of you poet to say.Conversation like thisIs a Limerick, miss,But it doesn’t occur every day.
Now what is a Limerick pray?I beg of you poet to say.Conversation like thisIs a Limerick, miss,But it doesn’t occur every day.
Now what is a Limerick pray?I beg of you poet to say.Conversation like thisIs a Limerick, miss,But it doesn’t occur every day.
Now what is a Limerick pray?
I beg of you poet to say.
Conversation like this
Is a Limerick, miss,
But it doesn’t occur every day.
Said a husband, You think I’m a St.I will fool you a bit, for I at.Now please take a look,Watch me wink at the cook!* * * * *No, the black ’round his eye isn’t pt.
Said a husband, You think I’m a St.I will fool you a bit, for I at.Now please take a look,Watch me wink at the cook!* * * * *No, the black ’round his eye isn’t pt.
Said a husband, You think I’m a St.I will fool you a bit, for I at.Now please take a look,Watch me wink at the cook!* * * * *No, the black ’round his eye isn’t pt.
Said a husband, You think I’m a St.
I will fool you a bit, for I at.
Now please take a look,
Watch me wink at the cook!
* * * * *
No, the black ’round his eye isn’t pt.
A young thing named Katherine ParrWas crazy to be a screen star,But she snubbed her directorWhen he tried to correct her,So Kate didn’t get very far.
A young thing named Katherine ParrWas crazy to be a screen star,But she snubbed her directorWhen he tried to correct her,So Kate didn’t get very far.
A young thing named Katherine ParrWas crazy to be a screen star,But she snubbed her directorWhen he tried to correct her,So Kate didn’t get very far.
A young thing named Katherine Parr
Was crazy to be a screen star,
But she snubbed her director
When he tried to correct her,
So Kate didn’t get very far.
There once was an old man of LymeWho married three wives at a time;When asked, Why a third?He replied, One’s absurd!And bigamy sir, is a crime!
There once was an old man of LymeWho married three wives at a time;When asked, Why a third?He replied, One’s absurd!And bigamy sir, is a crime!
There once was an old man of LymeWho married three wives at a time;When asked, Why a third?He replied, One’s absurd!And bigamy sir, is a crime!
There once was an old man of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time;
When asked, Why a third?
He replied, One’s absurd!
And bigamy sir, is a crime!
There once was a person of BeninWho wore clothes not fit to be seen in;When told that he shouldn’tHe replied, Gumscrumrudent!A word of inscrutable meanin’!
There once was a person of BeninWho wore clothes not fit to be seen in;When told that he shouldn’tHe replied, Gumscrumrudent!A word of inscrutable meanin’!
There once was a person of BeninWho wore clothes not fit to be seen in;When told that he shouldn’tHe replied, Gumscrumrudent!A word of inscrutable meanin’!
There once was a person of Benin
Who wore clothes not fit to be seen in;
When told that he shouldn’t
He replied, Gumscrumrudent!
A word of inscrutable meanin’!
There was a gay damsel of Lynn,Whose waist was so charmingly thin,The dressmaker neededA microscope—she did—To fit this slim person of Lynn.
There was a gay damsel of Lynn,Whose waist was so charmingly thin,The dressmaker neededA microscope—she did—To fit this slim person of Lynn.
There was a gay damsel of Lynn,Whose waist was so charmingly thin,The dressmaker neededA microscope—she did—To fit this slim person of Lynn.
There was a gay damsel of Lynn,
Whose waist was so charmingly thin,
The dressmaker needed
A microscope—she did—
To fit this slim person of Lynn.
There was a young lady named Anna,Who sang in the choir soprano.The tenor said, There!As she mounted the stair,I’ve both seen and heard your Hose, Anna!
There was a young lady named Anna,Who sang in the choir soprano.The tenor said, There!As she mounted the stair,I’ve both seen and heard your Hose, Anna!
There was a young lady named Anna,Who sang in the choir soprano.The tenor said, There!As she mounted the stair,I’ve both seen and heard your Hose, Anna!
There was a young lady named Anna,
Who sang in the choir soprano.
The tenor said, There!
As she mounted the stair,
I’ve both seen and heard your Hose, Anna!
There was an old man in a treeWho was horribly bored by a bee,When they said, Does it buzz?He replied, Yes it does,It’s a regular brute of a bee!
There was an old man in a treeWho was horribly bored by a bee,When they said, Does it buzz?He replied, Yes it does,It’s a regular brute of a bee!
There was an old man in a treeWho was horribly bored by a bee,When they said, Does it buzz?He replied, Yes it does,It’s a regular brute of a bee!
There was an old man in a tree
Who was horribly bored by a bee,
When they said, Does it buzz?
He replied, Yes it does,
It’s a regular brute of a bee!
Unless I’ve a new gown, said she,I really can’t go to the tea.I’ve nothing to wear,My back is quite bare.You’re right in the style, then, said he.
Unless I’ve a new gown, said she,I really can’t go to the tea.I’ve nothing to wear,My back is quite bare.You’re right in the style, then, said he.
Unless I’ve a new gown, said she,I really can’t go to the tea.I’ve nothing to wear,My back is quite bare.You’re right in the style, then, said he.
Unless I’ve a new gown, said she,
I really can’t go to the tea.
I’ve nothing to wear,
My back is quite bare.
You’re right in the style, then, said he.
A proud young rooster named Gawk,Was taking his flock for a walk;An auto whizzed byBut Gawk wouldn’t fly,And so naught was left but the squawk.
A proud young rooster named Gawk,Was taking his flock for a walk;An auto whizzed byBut Gawk wouldn’t fly,And so naught was left but the squawk.
A proud young rooster named Gawk,Was taking his flock for a walk;An auto whizzed byBut Gawk wouldn’t fly,And so naught was left but the squawk.
A proud young rooster named Gawk,
Was taking his flock for a walk;
An auto whizzed by
But Gawk wouldn’t fly,
And so naught was left but the squawk.
Belinda was building the fire,She knew the results might be dire,But to shorten her toilShe poured on some oil—And speedily winged her way higher.
Belinda was building the fire,She knew the results might be dire,But to shorten her toilShe poured on some oil—And speedily winged her way higher.
Belinda was building the fire,She knew the results might be dire,But to shorten her toilShe poured on some oil—And speedily winged her way higher.
Belinda was building the fire,
She knew the results might be dire,
But to shorten her toil
She poured on some oil—
And speedily winged her way higher.
There was a young dude from the cityWho tho’t he espied a nice kitty,Her back he did pat,Saying, good Kitty Cat—They buried his clothes—what a pity!
There was a young dude from the cityWho tho’t he espied a nice kitty,Her back he did pat,Saying, good Kitty Cat—They buried his clothes—what a pity!
There was a young dude from the cityWho tho’t he espied a nice kitty,Her back he did pat,Saying, good Kitty Cat—They buried his clothes—what a pity!
There was a young dude from the city
Who tho’t he espied a nice kitty,
Her back he did pat,
Saying, good Kitty Cat—
They buried his clothes—what a pity!
There was a young man at St. KittsWho was very much troubled with fits.The eclipse of the moonThrew him into a swoon,When he tumbled and broke into bits.
There was a young man at St. KittsWho was very much troubled with fits.The eclipse of the moonThrew him into a swoon,When he tumbled and broke into bits.
There was a young man at St. KittsWho was very much troubled with fits.The eclipse of the moonThrew him into a swoon,When he tumbled and broke into bits.
There was a young man at St. Kitts
Who was very much troubled with fits.
The eclipse of the moon
Threw him into a swoon,
When he tumbled and broke into bits.
There was a young lady, quite rich,Who heard funny noises, at whichShe took off her hatAnd found that her ratHad fallen asleep at the switch.
There was a young lady, quite rich,Who heard funny noises, at whichShe took off her hatAnd found that her ratHad fallen asleep at the switch.
There was a young lady, quite rich,Who heard funny noises, at whichShe took off her hatAnd found that her ratHad fallen asleep at the switch.
There was a young lady, quite rich,
Who heard funny noises, at which
She took off her hat
And found that her rat
Had fallen asleep at the switch.
There once was a girl of New YorkWhose body was lighter than corkShe had to be fedFor six weeks upon lead,Before she went out for a walk.
There once was a girl of New YorkWhose body was lighter than corkShe had to be fedFor six weeks upon lead,Before she went out for a walk.
There once was a girl of New YorkWhose body was lighter than corkShe had to be fedFor six weeks upon lead,Before she went out for a walk.
There once was a girl of New York
Whose body was lighter than cork
She had to be fed
For six weeks upon lead,
Before she went out for a walk.
There once was a man with a beardWho said, It is just as I feared!Two owls and a hen,Four larks and a wrenHave all built their nests in my beard!
There once was a man with a beardWho said, It is just as I feared!Two owls and a hen,Four larks and a wrenHave all built their nests in my beard!
There once was a man with a beardWho said, It is just as I feared!Two owls and a hen,Four larks and a wrenHave all built their nests in my beard!
There once was a man with a beard
Who said, It is just as I feared!
Two owls and a hen,
Four larks and a wren
Have all built their nests in my beard!
There once was an amorous Mr.Who on meeting a girl always Kr.But one night at the gateHe learned when too lateHe’d been kissing the coachman’s black Sr.
There once was an amorous Mr.Who on meeting a girl always Kr.But one night at the gateHe learned when too lateHe’d been kissing the coachman’s black Sr.
There once was an amorous Mr.Who on meeting a girl always Kr.But one night at the gateHe learned when too lateHe’d been kissing the coachman’s black Sr.
There once was an amorous Mr.
Who on meeting a girl always Kr.
But one night at the gate
He learned when too late
He’d been kissing the coachman’s black Sr.
They had cut off a Chinaman’s queue,And were painting his head a bright blueue;So the Chinaman saidAs they daubed at his head;When I sueue yueue, yueue’ll rueue what yueue dueue.
They had cut off a Chinaman’s queue,And were painting his head a bright blueue;So the Chinaman saidAs they daubed at his head;When I sueue yueue, yueue’ll rueue what yueue dueue.
They had cut off a Chinaman’s queue,And were painting his head a bright blueue;So the Chinaman saidAs they daubed at his head;When I sueue yueue, yueue’ll rueue what yueue dueue.
They had cut off a Chinaman’s queue,
And were painting his head a bright blueue;
So the Chinaman said
As they daubed at his head;
When I sueue yueue, yueue’ll rueue what yueue dueue.
There was a Princess of BengalWhose mouth was exceedingly small;She said, It would beMore easy for meTo do without eating at all!
There was a Princess of BengalWhose mouth was exceedingly small;She said, It would beMore easy for meTo do without eating at all!
There was a Princess of BengalWhose mouth was exceedingly small;She said, It would beMore easy for meTo do without eating at all!
There was a Princess of Bengal
Whose mouth was exceedingly small;
She said, It would be
More easy for me
To do without eating at all!
A right-handed writer named Wright,In writing “write” always wrote “rite.”He meant to write “write,”But he couldn’t write right—Who started this darn thing, anyway?
A right-handed writer named Wright,In writing “write” always wrote “rite.”He meant to write “write,”But he couldn’t write right—Who started this darn thing, anyway?
A right-handed writer named Wright,In writing “write” always wrote “rite.”He meant to write “write,”But he couldn’t write right—Who started this darn thing, anyway?
A right-handed writer named Wright,
In writing “write” always wrote “rite.”
He meant to write “write,”
But he couldn’t write right—
Who started this darn thing, anyway?
There was a young lady of BostonWhose manner had such a deep frost on.She invariably frozeEvery one of her beauxWhen her high plane of thought they got lost on.
There was a young lady of BostonWhose manner had such a deep frost on.She invariably frozeEvery one of her beauxWhen her high plane of thought they got lost on.
There was a young lady of BostonWhose manner had such a deep frost on.She invariably frozeEvery one of her beauxWhen her high plane of thought they got lost on.
There was a young lady of Boston
Whose manner had such a deep frost on.
She invariably froze
Every one of her beaux
When her high plane of thought they got lost on.
When you turn down your glass it’s a signThat you’re not going to take any wign,So turn down your plateWhen they serve things you hateAnd you’ll be asked out often to dign.
When you turn down your glass it’s a signThat you’re not going to take any wign,So turn down your plateWhen they serve things you hateAnd you’ll be asked out often to dign.
When you turn down your glass it’s a signThat you’re not going to take any wign,So turn down your plateWhen they serve things you hateAnd you’ll be asked out often to dign.
When you turn down your glass it’s a sign
That you’re not going to take any wign,
So turn down your plate
When they serve things you hate
And you’ll be asked out often to dign.
There was an old person of WareWho rode on the back of a bear.When they said, Does it trot?He said, Certainly not,It’s a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear.
There was an old person of WareWho rode on the back of a bear.When they said, Does it trot?He said, Certainly not,It’s a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear.
There was an old person of WareWho rode on the back of a bear.When they said, Does it trot?He said, Certainly not,It’s a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear.
There was an old person of Ware
Who rode on the back of a bear.
When they said, Does it trot?
He said, Certainly not,
It’s a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear.
Nan’s father, who lived in Nantucket,Kept all of his cash in a bucket.But one day Miss NanEloped with a man,And as for the cash, why Nan tuck it!
Nan’s father, who lived in Nantucket,Kept all of his cash in a bucket.But one day Miss NanEloped with a man,And as for the cash, why Nan tuck it!
Nan’s father, who lived in Nantucket,Kept all of his cash in a bucket.But one day Miss NanEloped with a man,And as for the cash, why Nan tuck it!
Nan’s father, who lived in Nantucket,
Kept all of his cash in a bucket.
But one day Miss Nan
Eloped with a man,
And as for the cash, why Nan tuck it!
There was an old man who said, Hush,I perceive a young bird in this bush!When they said, Is it small?He replied, Not at all,It is four times as big as the bush!
There was an old man who said, Hush,I perceive a young bird in this bush!When they said, Is it small?He replied, Not at all,It is four times as big as the bush!
There was an old man who said, Hush,I perceive a young bird in this bush!When they said, Is it small?He replied, Not at all,It is four times as big as the bush!
There was an old man who said, Hush,
I perceive a young bird in this bush!
When they said, Is it small?
He replied, Not at all,
It is four times as big as the bush!
Every fighter in khaki or blueHas a job he simply must do—He must stand by the flag,He must fight the red rag,The Legion will see the job through!
Every fighter in khaki or blueHas a job he simply must do—He must stand by the flag,He must fight the red rag,The Legion will see the job through!
Every fighter in khaki or blueHas a job he simply must do—He must stand by the flag,He must fight the red rag,The Legion will see the job through!
Every fighter in khaki or blue
Has a job he simply must do—
He must stand by the flag,
He must fight the red rag,
The Legion will see the job through!
There was a cowpuncher in ButteWho immediately started to shutte,When a girl who was braveSaid, Your pants need a shave,Otherwise you look awfully cutte!
There was a cowpuncher in ButteWho immediately started to shutte,When a girl who was braveSaid, Your pants need a shave,Otherwise you look awfully cutte!
There was a cowpuncher in ButteWho immediately started to shutte,When a girl who was braveSaid, Your pants need a shave,Otherwise you look awfully cutte!
There was a cowpuncher in Butte
Who immediately started to shutte,
When a girl who was brave
Said, Your pants need a shave,
Otherwise you look awfully cutte!
A cowboy with nothing to diouxJust for practice tried roping poor Lioux,It was excellent sportBut Siouxn after in courtHe was siouxed for lassiouxing a Sioux!
A cowboy with nothing to diouxJust for practice tried roping poor Lioux,It was excellent sportBut Siouxn after in courtHe was siouxed for lassiouxing a Sioux!
A cowboy with nothing to diouxJust for practice tried roping poor Lioux,It was excellent sportBut Siouxn after in courtHe was siouxed for lassiouxing a Sioux!
A cowboy with nothing to dioux
Just for practice tried roping poor Lioux,
It was excellent sport
But Siouxn after in court
He was siouxed for lassiouxing a Sioux!
A broken down tenor named SquiresWrote thus to a half hundred choirs;Have you place I could fill?They replied “No,” but stillHe inquires in choirs in quires.
A broken down tenor named SquiresWrote thus to a half hundred choirs;Have you place I could fill?They replied “No,” but stillHe inquires in choirs in quires.
A broken down tenor named SquiresWrote thus to a half hundred choirs;Have you place I could fill?They replied “No,” but stillHe inquires in choirs in quires.
A broken down tenor named Squires
Wrote thus to a half hundred choirs;
Have you place I could fill?
They replied “No,” but still
He inquires in choirs in quires.
There was a young lady named JaneWho said to herself, I’m too plain.I’m tired of duty,Now I’ll seek beauty,And beat Father Time at his game.
There was a young lady named JaneWho said to herself, I’m too plain.I’m tired of duty,Now I’ll seek beauty,And beat Father Time at his game.
There was a young lady named JaneWho said to herself, I’m too plain.I’m tired of duty,Now I’ll seek beauty,And beat Father Time at his game.
There was a young lady named Jane
Who said to herself, I’m too plain.
I’m tired of duty,
Now I’ll seek beauty,
And beat Father Time at his game.
There was a dear lady of EdenWho on apples was quite fond of feedin’.She gave one to AdamWho said, Thank you madam,And then both skedaddled from Eden.
There was a dear lady of EdenWho on apples was quite fond of feedin’.She gave one to AdamWho said, Thank you madam,And then both skedaddled from Eden.
There was a dear lady of EdenWho on apples was quite fond of feedin’.She gave one to AdamWho said, Thank you madam,And then both skedaddled from Eden.
There was a dear lady of Eden
Who on apples was quite fond of feedin’.
She gave one to Adam
Who said, Thank you madam,
And then both skedaddled from Eden.
Said the stuttering baritone GantzWhen asked by the chorister Rantz,If it was his desireTo sing in the choir,I’d j-j-j-jump at the chants!
Said the stuttering baritone GantzWhen asked by the chorister Rantz,If it was his desireTo sing in the choir,I’d j-j-j-jump at the chants!
Said the stuttering baritone GantzWhen asked by the chorister Rantz,If it was his desireTo sing in the choir,I’d j-j-j-jump at the chants!
Said the stuttering baritone Gantz
When asked by the chorister Rantz,
If it was his desire
To sing in the choir,
I’d j-j-j-jump at the chants!
A lady as proud as old LuciferIs tired of her husband’s abucifer.She says she will seeIf she ever gets freeLove doesn’t again make a gucifer.
A lady as proud as old LuciferIs tired of her husband’s abucifer.She says she will seeIf she ever gets freeLove doesn’t again make a gucifer.
A lady as proud as old LuciferIs tired of her husband’s abucifer.She says she will seeIf she ever gets freeLove doesn’t again make a gucifer.
A lady as proud as old Lucifer
Is tired of her husband’s abucifer.
She says she will see
If she ever gets free
Love doesn’t again make a gucifer.
When Adam in blissAsked Eve for a kiss,She puckered her lips with a coo,Gave look so ecstatic,And answered emphatic,I don’t care A-dam if I do.
When Adam in blissAsked Eve for a kiss,She puckered her lips with a coo,Gave look so ecstatic,And answered emphatic,I don’t care A-dam if I do.
When Adam in blissAsked Eve for a kiss,She puckered her lips with a coo,Gave look so ecstatic,And answered emphatic,I don’t care A-dam if I do.
When Adam in bliss
Asked Eve for a kiss,
She puckered her lips with a coo,
Gave look so ecstatic,
And answered emphatic,
I don’t care A-dam if I do.
She frowned on him and called him Mr.Because in fun he’d merely Kr.And then for spiteThe foll’wing niteThis naughty Mr. Kr. Sr.
She frowned on him and called him Mr.Because in fun he’d merely Kr.And then for spiteThe foll’wing niteThis naughty Mr. Kr. Sr.
She frowned on him and called him Mr.Because in fun he’d merely Kr.And then for spiteThe foll’wing niteThis naughty Mr. Kr. Sr.
She frowned on him and called him Mr.
Because in fun he’d merely Kr.
And then for spite
The foll’wing nite
This naughty Mr. Kr. Sr.
There was a young lady named Stella,Whose beau was a bow-legged fella.When he asked her to sitIn his lap, why she litOn his soft corn, then how he did bella.
There was a young lady named Stella,Whose beau was a bow-legged fella.When he asked her to sitIn his lap, why she litOn his soft corn, then how he did bella.
There was a young lady named Stella,Whose beau was a bow-legged fella.When he asked her to sitIn his lap, why she litOn his soft corn, then how he did bella.
There was a young lady named Stella,
Whose beau was a bow-legged fella.
When he asked her to sit
In his lap, why she lit
On his soft corn, then how he did bella.
Professor M’Dome of Saint ClairIn five hours tracked a bear to his lair.Mr. Bear was at homeAnd Professor M’DomeSpent five minutes returning from there.
Professor M’Dome of Saint ClairIn five hours tracked a bear to his lair.Mr. Bear was at homeAnd Professor M’DomeSpent five minutes returning from there.
Professor M’Dome of Saint ClairIn five hours tracked a bear to his lair.Mr. Bear was at homeAnd Professor M’DomeSpent five minutes returning from there.
Professor M’Dome of Saint Clair
In five hours tracked a bear to his lair.
Mr. Bear was at home
And Professor M’Dome
Spent five minutes returning from there.
I am so poorI can’t insure,He said, then died—(damnation!)His widow sighed,Became a brideAnd thus escaped starvation.
I am so poorI can’t insure,He said, then died—(damnation!)His widow sighed,Became a brideAnd thus escaped starvation.
I am so poorI can’t insure,He said, then died—(damnation!)His widow sighed,Became a brideAnd thus escaped starvation.
I am so poor
I can’t insure,
He said, then died—(damnation!)
His widow sighed,
Became a bride
And thus escaped starvation.
For beauty I am not a star,There are others more handsome by far.By my face I don’t mind it,For I am behind it,It’s the people in front that I jar.
For beauty I am not a star,There are others more handsome by far.By my face I don’t mind it,For I am behind it,It’s the people in front that I jar.
For beauty I am not a star,There are others more handsome by far.By my face I don’t mind it,For I am behind it,It’s the people in front that I jar.
For beauty I am not a star,
There are others more handsome by far.
By my face I don’t mind it,
For I am behind it,
It’s the people in front that I jar.
Dickery Dickery Doc,With patients lined up a blockWith fits and conniptionsThey wait for prescriptionsLiquor me, liquor me, Doc.
Dickery Dickery Doc,With patients lined up a blockWith fits and conniptionsThey wait for prescriptionsLiquor me, liquor me, Doc.
Dickery Dickery Doc,With patients lined up a blockWith fits and conniptionsThey wait for prescriptionsLiquor me, liquor me, Doc.
Dickery Dickery Doc,
With patients lined up a block
With fits and conniptions
They wait for prescriptions
Liquor me, liquor me, Doc.
Any girl can be gayIn a classy coupe,In a taxi they all can be jollyBut the girl worth whileIs the girl who can smileWhen you’re bringing her home on the trolley.
Any girl can be gayIn a classy coupe,In a taxi they all can be jollyBut the girl worth whileIs the girl who can smileWhen you’re bringing her home on the trolley.
Any girl can be gayIn a classy coupe,In a taxi they all can be jollyBut the girl worth whileIs the girl who can smileWhen you’re bringing her home on the trolley.
Any girl can be gay
In a classy coupe,
In a taxi they all can be jolly
But the girl worth while
Is the girl who can smile
When you’re bringing her home on the trolley.
A sporty old chink named Wun WonSat up playing fan tan for mon,At two he’d lost tenBut he stuck to it—thenWun Won won one-one at 1:01.
A sporty old chink named Wun WonSat up playing fan tan for mon,At two he’d lost tenBut he stuck to it—thenWun Won won one-one at 1:01.
A sporty old chink named Wun WonSat up playing fan tan for mon,At two he’d lost tenBut he stuck to it—thenWun Won won one-one at 1:01.
A sporty old chink named Wun Won
Sat up playing fan tan for mon,
At two he’d lost ten
But he stuck to it—then
Wun Won won one-one at 1:01.
There once was a maiden of SiamWho said to her lover, young Kiam,If you kiss me, of courseYou will have to use force,But I’ll wager you’re stronger than I am.
There once was a maiden of SiamWho said to her lover, young Kiam,If you kiss me, of courseYou will have to use force,But I’ll wager you’re stronger than I am.
There once was a maiden of SiamWho said to her lover, young Kiam,If you kiss me, of courseYou will have to use force,But I’ll wager you’re stronger than I am.
There once was a maiden of Siam
Who said to her lover, young Kiam,
If you kiss me, of course
You will have to use force,
But I’ll wager you’re stronger than I am.