Mens sana in corpore sano."The glory of young men is their strength.""He that hath clean hands waxeth stronger and stronger."
Mens sana in corpore sano.
"The glory of young men is their strength."
"He that hath clean hands waxeth stronger and stronger."
Dr. Hall tells the following true story: Two friends are in a canoe in the Mozambique channel. A flaw of wind upsets the boat, which fills and sinks, and the men are left to swim for their lives. One says to the other: "It is a long pull to the shore, but the water is warm and we are strong. We will hold by each other, and all will be well." "No," says his friend, "I have lost my breath already; each wave that strikes us knocks it from my body." In a moment he is gone. His friend can do nothing; only swim, and then float, and rest himself, and breathe; to swim again, and then float, and rest again; hour after hour to swim and float with that calm determination that he will go home; hour after hour, till at last the palm trees show distinct upon the shore, and then the figures of animals. And then, at last, his foot touchesthe coral, and he is safe. That is an example of the difference wrought in two men merely by exercise, or the steadiness of training.
Exercise makes the body strong. Many a man has reason to bless the memory of his father or teacher, who, when he was a weak boy, with flabby muscles, and without energy or strength of will, made him take regular exercise. A young man who was threatened by weak lungs was ordered to take regular Exercise every day with clubs and dumb-bells and a vigorous walk in the open air. After a few months' steady practice he found that he could, with his hands, lift his elder brother, lying flat on the ground, by the clothes and elevate him above his own head. Neglect of Exercise keeps the muscles weak, makes the blood impure, and renders the body liable to the diseases which are ever ready to attack him. We now know that diseases enter the human body by means of minute living germs, which float unseen in the atmosphere. Practically, no people living in towns escape these germs; but the strong body is able to throw them off, while the weak succumbs. There are in the blood thousands of little bodies which act as scavengers, and are continually fighting against foreign invaders that get into the system. If the body becomes weak through lack of Exercise, theblood suffers, the number of scavengers becomes lessened, and disease more easily fastens upon it.
Not only is the body weakened by lack of Exercise, but the brain is even more so. If a stream of pure blood be necessary for the strength of the body, it is far more necessary for the health of the brain. Parents often complain that their sons are stupid, and are not able to see through things, and have poor memories, when the trouble lies chiefly in the fact that the blood is unable to carry off the worn-out elements of the brain, because it is not kept pure by regular Exercise and fresh air. The secret of mental activity is complete bodily health. The boy who is subject to headaches cannot study hard; nine-tenths of the headaches arise from giving the stomach too much hard work, and the brain too little. The stomach is capable of an immense amount of labour if the other members of the body will only work, too; but if they get idle, it is apt to break down under its burdens, and then the brain suffers.
The English race has always been characterized by immense energy. Probably no other race has ever been so distinguished for enterprise and energy. It is the energy of the race which has led to the growth of its vast colonies, and to the maintenance of empire over less civilized peoples. It has made the UnitedStates the great nation that it is. Energy makes the man, as it makes the nation. The vast majority of people depend for energy upon Exercise. Loafing destroys energy. Mental energy depends very largely upon physical energy, except in the case of the sick. Physical energy depends upon taut muscles and supple joints.
The relation of Exercise to morality is very close. If a young man fills up his spare time with Exercise, he runs no risk of going to the bad morally. After a day's work, and active Exercise to end it, he needs a great deal of sleep; and his sleep is sound and refreshing. The sleeplessness that arises from loafing causes an immense amount of mischief to the moral nature—impure thoughts, or half-waking dreams, with, perhaps, degrading habits growing out of them. When the body is in a good state of health, man's faith in God, and in truth, purity, and honour, is bright and steadfast. When his body is run down, through neglect, everything looks gloomy.
An important part of Exercise is the work of keeping the body clean. It is just as necessary to keep the outside of the body clean and sweet as the inside; and as the inside is being continuously cleansed by pure blood, the outside should be cleansed regularly with water. The decayed matter in the body, carriedoff by the blood, escapes chiefly in one way—that is, through the pores of the skin, and if these pores are allowed to get choked by neglect the dead matter remains in the system and pollutes it, and the body soon gets out of order. It is a duty to take sufficient exercise every day to incite perspiration, and then a cold plunge or sponge bath, or, at least, a vigorous rub-down. If we could only get into the habit of doing that, we might snap our fingers at most kinds of disease.
These things depend largely upon daily Exercise: Bodily Strength, Mental Activity, Energy, the Moral Life.
By Habit is meant accustoming ourselves to do certain things regularly. Habit is a tendency of the mind and body resulting from frequent repetition of the same acts.
By Habit is meant accustoming ourselves to do certain things regularly. Habit is a tendency of the mind and body resulting from frequent repetition of the same acts.
An old man who had very deformed fingers said: "For over fifty years I used to drive a stage, and these bent fingers show the effect of holding the reins for so many years." Carlyle said: "Habit is the deepest law of human nature. It is our supreme strength, and also, in certain circumstances, our miserablest weakness." In the life of the young, especially, the two greatest laws are Habit and Imitation. There is nothing a boy's parents fear so much as that he will imitate bad things in the characters of others, and so learn bad habits. When a boy has learnt a great many bad habits, it is almost impossible to get rid of their effects, even though he should change his habits. They leave marks upon the character, just as smallpox does upon the face.
It is easy to learn bad habits. It is just like the old game of "Follow your Leader." Unless the leaderis a very clever athlete, most boys have no difficulty in following and imitating what he does. When once a boy makes up his mind that he is not going to be very particular about his language, it is astonishing how easily he will learn to swear, and to use unclean words. But if he should become ashamed of such a habit, how hard it is to drop it! He may make the strongest resolutions, and try his best to put them in practice; but he will find himself dropping into profane language when he gets excited, or loses his temper, or at other times when it is particularly necessary for him to be careful.
With many people to do a thing once is to form the Habit. It is well known that the taste for wine and spirits is often inherited by a boy from his parents. For that boy, or young man, to drink once is to form a Habit, though he may be quite unconscious of it. We always do form habits unconsciously, and we often know nothing of them until they are fully formed and have nearly mastered us. If some kind friend warn the youth, he may drop the habit at once; but, if not, drinking will soon be a positive pleasure, and, before he knows it, he will be on the primrose way. Let a young man give way a few times to impure imaginations and thoughts, and he will soon be in danger of a habit that will destroy him, body and soul. The curse of the human race is the tendency to form bad habits.
The surest way to avoid bad habits is to form good ones before the former become established. And the first good Habit that will help us to avoid or conquer bad ones isnever to be idle. "An idle man is like the housekeeper who keeps the door open for any burglar." I do not mean by not being idle that we should never cease from work. But I do mean that as soon as work ceases play should begin. Idleness is loafing; and nothing so surely produces other bad habits as the habit of loafing. The boy who has a game in view the moment his work ceases is not in very great danger of forming bad habits. The boy who is in danger is he who, having done the least possible amount of work in school hours, is tired by the effort to do nothing, and so would rather lie upon his bed than take exercise.
The Habit of exercise is a sacred duty. All feel the effects of systematic neglect of fresh air and muscular training, and most young men and boys do take exercise spasmodically—one day a great deal, and the next, perhaps, none at all. The bodily system can no more flourish under that sort of treatment than it could if one were to over-eat on one day, and go absolutely without on the next. The only way to bring the body to a high state of cultivation and to keep it there is to form the habit of exercise, and let nothing interfere with it. It need not be always the same; it should bevaried; but it should always be active. If a boy does not care for very violent exercise, he can substitute for it light gymnasium work, or club and dumb-bell exercise. The great Sandow says that he keeps his strength up to the point of efficiency by clubs and dumb-bells, and open-air exercise. The great thing about it is regularity; that is to say, Habit.
Another great factor of success in life is the Habit of early rising. We all love to lie in bed a little longer than we ought; but we should fight against it. Mr. Gladstone, throughout his years of vigour, took seven hours sleep, and he said to a friend: "I should like to have eight; I hate getting up in the morning, and I hate it the same every morning. But one can do anything by habit, and when I have had my seven hours sleep my habit is to get up." King George III. was an early riser. He once said to a man who came late: "Six hours sleep enough for a man, seven for a woman, and eight for a fool." Dickens use to rise at seven, have a cold bath, "and then blaze away till three o'clock." Kant, the greatest philosopher of modern times, used to retire at ten, and his servant had strict orders never to allow him to sleep later than five, no matter how strongly he might plead for rest. Sir Walter Scott said: "God bless that habit of getting up at seven. I could do nothing without it." The Dukeof Wellington said that when we turn in bed it is time to turn out.
The wise boy will form habits of reading good books regularly, especially the Bible; of exact and strict punctuality in all his engagements, great or small; of neatness in his appearance; of personal cleanliness; of politeness of speech. A Habit once learned will stick to one, whether good or bad.
"Habit at first is but a silken thread....Beware! that thread may bind thee as a chain."
"Habit at first is but a silken thread....Beware! that thread may bind thee as a chain."
"Habit at first is but a silken thread....Beware! that thread may bind thee as a chain."
"Habit at first is but a silken thread....
Beware! that thread may bind thee as a chain."
Industry is the fully formed habit of work. It is that which prevents us from wasting time, and strength, and the powers of mind. Its opposite is Indolence, or Laziness.
Industry is the fully formed habit of work. It is that which prevents us from wasting time, and strength, and the powers of mind. Its opposite is Indolence, or Laziness.
Work is a fundamental law of life. He who does not work must suffer, whether he be rich or poor, because man cannot break any law of nature without paying the penalty. If a man deliberately sin against nature, that is, against God, he may be forgiven, but he cannot escape the result, or, in other words, the punishment.
But all work is not Industry. If we are compelled to work against our will, that is not Industry. There must be the habit, and no habit can be fully formed without the mind's consent. Industry is work done with a will; not at odd moments, with wide spaces of idleness between, but regularly as a habit, which is as much the business of life as eating and sleeping.
In the history of mankind, Industry has been a far greater power than Genius. Genius, indeed, has been called "the power of taking pains"; that is, immense perseverance. The amount of good done to mankind by men of genius who have had no Industry is hardly worth counting up. Nearly all the world's great men have been men of great diligence. As Cicero said: "Diligence is the one virtue that includes all the rest." Solomon has the same thought: "The soul of the diligent shall be made fat." It is astonishing what a large number of great men have risen by their own industry to positions of the highest authority and influence. Faraday was the greatest chemist of modern times. His father was a village blacksmith, and he himself was first a newsboy, and then learnt the trade of bookbinding. He became interested in books through making their covers. Turner, the greatest modern landscape painter, was the son of a barber. He left school when he was thirteen; and from that time earned his own living.
Sir William Jones, the great oriental scholar, was a man of enormous Industry. Before he was twenty years old, he had mastered Greek, Latin, Italian, Spanish, and Portuguese, and had made great progress in Arabic and Persian. He divided his day as follows:
"Seven hours to law, to soothing slumber seven,Ten to the world allot, and all to heaven."
"Seven hours to law, to soothing slumber seven,Ten to the world allot, and all to heaven."
"Seven hours to law, to soothing slumber seven,Ten to the world allot, and all to heaven."
"Seven hours to law, to soothing slumber seven,
Ten to the world allot, and all to heaven."
Hugh Miller, the great geologist, began life as a stonemason. Elihu Burritt, a blacksmith, mastered eighteen languages and twenty-two dialects. Such perseverance and diligence should make us feel ashamed of neglected opportunities.
The main thing to keep in mind about Industry is that it is a habit, and, like most good habits, somewhat difficult to acquire. A boy is given a piece of work by his father. He goes at it with great vigour; but, in a short time, his attention is attracted by his dog, or birds, and he leaves the work for something more pleasant; he is not Industrious. A boy begins his night lessons and works five minutes, and then remembers something that happened that afternoon at play; he returns to his book for five minutes more, and then thinks of the next half-holiday—and so on. Industry means concentration, and he has not learnt anything about that yet.
At the beginning of the lesson, a boy pays close attention; but he soon sees that his nails require attention, or his pencil a finer point, or the nearness of his neighbour suggests a small trick. Perhaps his head is heavy and requires to be held up by one hand, or the hero of the latest story persists in thrusting himself upon the mind, or he wishes he were out camping.Industry is attention; and he has not yet learned how to keep his mind on his work.
Most boys suffer from lack of power to pay attention for a considerable time. With some it is a disease arising from physical causes. If a boy has got into the habit of imagining impure things, his power of attention is in danger of being destroyed; if he has learned to practise secret vice, his brain is being destroyed. Some boys possess marvellous power of concentration. Macaulay's mother tells us that he wrote a fairly complete history of the world, occupying twelve pages, when he was seven years old. But the average boy needs to have his power of attention cultivated, as any other faculty is trained. He can do this, first, by striving to take an interest in everything that presents itself to his mind, no matter how dry; and, secondly, by practising attention. He can do this by keeping a watch open, and seeing how long he can work without thinking of outside things. There is no more notable example of industry in our own day than that of Edison. He is said to sleep only three or four hours in the twenty-four for months at a time. Those who live with him say that his Industry is the most remarkable thing about him. Some one once asked him how to succeed in life. His answer was: "Don't look at the clock!"
Attention produces the habit of Industry, that is, of wasting not a moment in idleness. Lord Nelson said that he attributed his success in life to a habit he formed of being fifteen minutes ahead of time for all his engagements. Imagine a boy being fifteen minutes ahead of time in rising, and at meals, lessons, and prayers! The habitual late comer is destroying his faculty for Industry. No one can afford to waste time; and there would be less time wasted if we could only remember that idleness is Suffering, if not now, then later on.
The great Cobbet said: "I learned grammar when I was a private soldier on the pay of sixpence a day. The edge of my berth was my seat; my knapsack was my bookcase; a bit of board on my lap was my writing table. I had no money for candles; in the winter time it was rarely that I could get any evening light but that of the fire, and only my turn at that."
Sir John Lubbock says: "Industry brings its own reward. Columbus discovered America while searching for a western passage to India; and, as Goethe pointed out, Saul found a kingdom while he was looking for his father's asses."
There is, for a boy, no motto grander than Luther'sNulla dies sine linea.
An old sun-dial in a churchyard in Scotland has these words engraved on it:
"I am a shadow,So art thou;I mark time,Dost thou?"
"I am a shadow,So art thou;I mark time,Dost thou?"
"I am a shadow,So art thou;I mark time,Dost thou?"
"I am a shadow,
So art thou;
I mark time,
Dost thou?"
Self-control is the power a man exercises over himself—the power to check his desires and passions; the power to deny himself present pleasures for the sake of a great purpose; the power to concentrate his energies on a single object in life.
Self-control is the power a man exercises over himself—the power to check his desires and passions; the power to deny himself present pleasures for the sake of a great purpose; the power to concentrate his energies on a single object in life.
Self-control is the basis of all Character, and the root of all the virtues. Without it, man is like a ship that has lost its rudder, and tosses helpless upon the waves. Self-control is one of the hardest things to learn, though no one can succeed in life without it. We say of the poor drunkard: "He could never say no!" The young man who can say no to his friends, when his Conscience tells him he should, has learned one of the hardest lessons of his life, and is in no danger of many of the worst pitfalls of early manhood. Tennyson says:
"Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control,These three alone lead life to sovereign power."
"Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control,These three alone lead life to sovereign power."
"Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control,These three alone lead life to sovereign power."
"Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control,
These three alone lead life to sovereign power."
The wise man said: "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city."
A boy at school finds the greatest difficulty in payingattention. His mind keeps wandering away from his work. He makes good resolutions, but finds that, in spite of them, he cannotfixhis attention. After a time, he despairs of himself, and gives up his chance, and perhaps bitterly disappoints his parents. The trouble was lack of Self-control. He had never learned how to master himself. He who can master himself can master almost any difficulty. He must learn what Concentration means. It is a habit, and can only be acquired little by little, by earnest effort, and a strict watch upon self. A good plan is to keep a watch open, and see how long the mind can be kept at work without suffering any interruption.
If we learn to control self in one way, it becomes easier to do so in others. If a boy is given to flying into a rage, and practises checking himself, until the habit is controlled, it will not be nearly so hard to control himself in other ways. One of the hardest things to conquer is the habit of exaggeration; it is so easy to overstate a thing, so hard to keep to theexacttruth. The boy who conquers a habit like that is on the road to thorough Self-control.
Control of the appetite is, perhaps, the most difficult form of Self-control for boys to practise. He who gives way to his appetite yields the reins to a recklessdriver. There is no vice more disgusting or more dangerous than gluttony. It is the vestibule to all the other vices. It is quite as important a duty to control one's stomach as to check one's tongue. The best things are apt to come to him who has learned to do without; though Self-control for its own sake is the herald of happiness. In the life of General Gordon, we are told that he once offered a native of the Soudan a drink of water. The man declined the water, saying that he had had a drinkthe day before. A drink every other day was enough for him; he had learned Self-control.
History is full of examples of the failure of men and nations through the loss of Self-control. The Greek nation was destroyed because the people gave themselves up to idleness and the gratification of their desires. So were the Romans, who were conquered by the savage Goths, who possessed the virtue of Self-restraint. No man ever yet became great who did not practise the great virtue of Self-denial.
St. Paul said: "I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection."
Self-reliance is the power to help one's self. It is personal independence. It is that which makes labour enjoyable. It is that which adds Zest to a man's pursuits in life, and produces the highest success.
Self-reliance is the power to help one's self. It is personal independence. It is that which makes labour enjoyable. It is that which adds Zest to a man's pursuits in life, and produces the highest success.
He who learns the great lesson of Self-reliance will never lack the means of livelihood or the opportunity for usefulness. It is the duty of every boy to learn to depend upon himself. His father may be a rich man now, but it is far easier to lose wealth than to create it, and the day may come when his father may have to depend upon him. That every man should earn his own bread is one of the fundamental duties of life. St. Paul laid it down as a law for the Christians in Thessaly that "if any would not work, neither should he eat."
Most people have the stern necessity to labour laid upon them; but there are some who have inherited, or expect to inherit, wealth, and who see no need to employ their abilities in active, steady,persistent labour, and yet it is just these who have the power to confer special benefits and blessings upon their fellow-men. He who has no cares about the earning of his daily bread has a great opportunity to devote himself to some special line of labour which will result in a lasting benefit to the community in which he lives, and which requires leisure for its proper development. The rich man is a curse to his country, instead of a blessing, if he keeps his capital from active employment, and at the same time neglects to use for the good of his fellows that higher sort of capital—his personal abilities.
If the schoolboy wish to make real progress, he must learn to depend upon himself alone. He will never master a subject thoroughly if he go constantly to the master, or to another boy, for help. He who gets another to do his lessons for him cheats not only the master, but himself also. The boy who loves to overcome difficulties, whether they be in the gymnasium, or the class-room, or the cricket field, is sure to succeed in the struggles of after life.
Self-reliance comes naturally to some people, especially to those who have bodies trained by vigorous exercise. To others it becomes a habit only after long effort, but it is beyond the reach of no one. Two things are required for its attainment: determinationand practice. We need not expect to attain any good habit without failure at first. But, as has been wisely said: "Perseverance, self-reliance, energetic effort, are doubly strengthened when you rise from failure to battle again."
Emerson said: "Self-trust is the first secret of success"; and in another place: "Self-trust is the essence of heroism."
It would be easy to give a great many examples of the virtue of Self-reliance. One of the greatest in modern times was that of Lord Beaconsfield, Prime Minister of England. He tried many times before he at last got a seat in parliament. The first time he tried to speak in that great assembly, he was received with shouts of laughter, when he said: "Gentlemen, I now sit down, but a day will come when you shall hear me." All will remember the wonderful Self-reliance of the Black Prince at the battle of Creçy. At the close of his life, Jean Paul said: "I have made as much out of myself as could be made of the stuff, and no man should require more."
Lord Bacon said: "Men seem neither to understand their riches nor their strength: of the former they believe greater things than they should, of the latter much less. Self-reliance and Self-control willteach a man to drink out of his own cistern, and eat his own sweet bread, and to learn and labour truly to get his living, and carefully to expend the good things committed to his trust."
Self-reliance does not mean Self-assertion. The truly self-reliant man is modest in his language and manners. The boaster has usually very little backbone to his character. Self-reliance is a deeply-rooted feeling of reserve power, which makes a man strong under all circumstances. It carries with it an equally strong feeling of self-respect. The old French proverb says that a man is rated by others as he rates himself.
Goethe's advice to young men was: "Make good thy standing place, and move the world."
Friendship is that feeling between people which leads them to trust each other entirely, to tell each other of their difficulties, hopes, and fears; to share with each other pleasures and sorrows; to help each other when need arises, even though it involves a sacrifice.
Friendship is that feeling between people which leads them to trust each other entirely, to tell each other of their difficulties, hopes, and fears; to share with each other pleasures and sorrows; to help each other when need arises, even though it involves a sacrifice.
Cicero thought Friendship of so much importance in life that he wrote a treatise on it. He said: "Of all the things which wisdom provides for the happiness of a lifetime, by far the greatest is friendship." Certainly, it is a thing for which human nature seems to cry out. Lord Bacon quotes an old saying: "Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god." Just as we all desire to be liked rather than to be hated, so we long to have, at least, one friend to whom we can tell everything, and who will stand by us. We envy him who has many friends. We may set it down as a truth, that if we have no friends the fault lies in ourselves. There is something lacking in us, or there is some horrid thing in our character that others cannot like. Real Friendshipmust be based on admiration, or liking for some quality that he who is desired as a friend possesses. The boy who lacks friends, but longs for them, must search his own heart and character to see if he cannot find out what is the matter with him.
It is better to have one or two friends than to be popular with the crowd. Some boys will do anything to be popular, even to sacrificing Friendship. It is quite a common thing for boys to make themselves out to be much worse than they really are in order to gain admiration. They will pretend to be guilty of all sorts of things in order to get others to think them more daring than themselves. The worst of it is that a boy of that kind often becomes thoroughly bad at heart.
It is in the power of every one to have at least one sincere friend; if we are willing to be unselfish, to forget ourselves, and to try to help others, we can have many. There is nothing that makes the daily life so pleasant as the companionship of a friend present, or the thought of a friend absent. Cicero said: "A true friend is he who is, as it were, a second self." But, if we wish to keep our friends, we must be prepared to make sacrifices sometimes. No man ever kept a friend for a long time without occasionally doing something to prove the warmth of his feeling for thatfriend. Friendships are generally broken because one or the other partner turns out selfish. Boyish Friendships would be much more lasting than they are, except for the great difficulty most boys have in "giving up" to others.
If Friendship is a sacred thing, how necessary it is to use care in making a friend! It is the sign of wisdom to have many companions, but few friends. To have many companions is to knock off our own rough corners, and to teach us the principle of "give and take." In dealing with a real friend, it should be mostly "give" and very little "take." He who tries to make a friend should begin by giving his Friendship, and give it with all his heart. But if he does that to one who is morally below his own standard, the result will be disastrous. The old Romans had a saying, taken from their poet Virgil,Facilis descensus Averno est, which means that it is wonderfully easy to lower one's standard of right and wrong. The poet went on to say: "But to retrace your steps, and escape to the upper air, this is a work, this is a toil."
There is nothing truer than the saying that a man is known by his friends. A man's Friendships are the test of his character. A Spanish proverb says: "Tell me whom you live with, and I will tell you who you are." When a boy leaves school to gointo a bank, or other business house, his employers watch to see what friends he has. If they are not what they should be, the young man is looked upon with suspicion; he is not put into a position of trust; he may, some day, be told that his services are no longer wanted. In buying an article which we intend to last a long time, we are careful to choose the very best that can be had for the money. If a man is going to buy a horse, how careful he is to see that there is no blemish in him, and how particular he is to secure a thoroughly reliable man to look after him! And yet the same person is perhaps quite careless about the choice of his friends, though their power to yield him the greatest pleasures in life, or to bring to him the greatest sorrows, cannot be measured. Wise is he who heeds the words of the wise man:
"Enter not into the path of the wicked,And go not in the way of evil men.Avoid it, pass not by it,Turn from it, and pass away."For they sleep not,Except they have done mischief;And their sleep is taken away,Unless they cause some to fall."For they eat the bread of wickedness,And drink the wine of violence."But the path of the justIs as the shining light,That shineth more and moreUnto the perfect day."
"Enter not into the path of the wicked,And go not in the way of evil men.Avoid it, pass not by it,Turn from it, and pass away."For they sleep not,Except they have done mischief;And their sleep is taken away,Unless they cause some to fall."For they eat the bread of wickedness,And drink the wine of violence."But the path of the justIs as the shining light,That shineth more and moreUnto the perfect day."
"Enter not into the path of the wicked,And go not in the way of evil men.Avoid it, pass not by it,Turn from it, and pass away.
"Enter not into the path of the wicked,
And go not in the way of evil men.
Avoid it, pass not by it,
Turn from it, and pass away.
"For they sleep not,Except they have done mischief;And their sleep is taken away,Unless they cause some to fall.
"For they sleep not,
Except they have done mischief;
And their sleep is taken away,
Unless they cause some to fall.
"For they eat the bread of wickedness,And drink the wine of violence.
"For they eat the bread of wickedness,
And drink the wine of violence.
"But the path of the justIs as the shining light,That shineth more and moreUnto the perfect day."
"But the path of the just
Is as the shining light,
That shineth more and more
Unto the perfect day."
If you possess a friend who satisfies your heart and conscience, cling to him under all circumstances. If he find fault with you, be patient. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend." If he give way to wrath, give back the soft answer that turns it away.
If you cannot have the Friendship of the illustrious living, it is easy to obtain that of the illustrious dead. The Friendship of good books is one of the greatest pleasures of life. To win it, it is only necessary to form the habit of reading regularly, no matter how little at a time.
The best guide for a boy in forming Friendships is to choose none for his friend whom his father or mother would disapprove of,if they knew all about him.
The four chief marks of a gentleman are: Honesty, Gentleness, Generosity, Modesty.
The four chief marks of a gentleman are: Honesty, Gentleness, Generosity, Modesty.
Thackeray, who is noted among great English writers as a hater of shams, said: "Perhaps a gentleman is a rarer man than some of us think for. Which of us can point out many such in his circle—men whose aims are generous, whose truth is constant, whose want of meanness makes them simple, who can look the world honestly in the face with an equal manly sympathy for the great and small? We all know a hundred whose coats are very well made, and a score who have excellent manners, and one or two happy beings who are what they call in the inner circles, and have shot into the very centre of fashion; but of gentlemen, how many?"
These four qualities of the gentleman include more than might appear at a single glance. Honesty means far more than not stealing. The "gentleman's psalm" tells us as one of his characteristics that "he speaketh the truth in his heart." He who does thatis honest in his words, in his deeds, and in his thoughts. He so hates dishonesty that honesty has become part of his life—it is in his heart. Such a man can look the world in the face without flinching. He is the most fearless of men, because he has nothing to hide from the light of day. As one great man once said of another, "He has the ten commandments stamped upon his countenance." Here, then, to be honest is to be brave also; we cannot imagine a true gentleman as a coward.
The second quality is Gentleness. It is hard for a boy to be gentle, because he spends most of the time during which he controls his own actions with other boys, and gentleness is not much called for. Some boys look upon this quality as womanish, the mark of a coward, a thing to be avoided. But what should we say of a boy who roughly handled a bird with a broken wing? All boys possess this quality of Gentleness, because it is founded on sympathy with the sufferings of the weak. If a small boy falls and breaks his arm, how eagerly the bigger boys come to his assistance, and how careful they are to touch the broken limb with all tenderness! The feeling of sympathy makes them gentle. No boy is without this God-given faculty. It is there to begin with, and if a boy wish to become a gentleman he must cultivate it, as he does his otherpowers. It is a faculty soon lost if we neglect it; it is easy to learn to be rough and loud-mouthed, and roughness soon leads to cruelty. The true gentleman practises Gentleness towards the weak at all times, whether they are suffering or not. The boy should learn it in his own home; that is the best and easiest place to learn it. It is easy to be gentle with one's mother; it is a bad-hearted boy who suffers himself to be rough in his speech, or rude in his manner, to her. The same rule of Gentleness should be steadily observed towards his sisters and younger and weaker brothers. He who has thus practised gentleness in his home will go out into the world a character actually trained to be gentle to those weaker than himself, and to be sympathetic towards the sorrows and sufferings of the unfortunate.
The third mark of a gentleman is Generosity. By this I do not mean open-handedness about money. Lavish liberality may be only another name for careless imprudence. By Generosity is meant the utter absence of selfishness. Aristotle called his true gentleman the magnanimous man. Generosity is large-heartedness. It involves the absence of all thought of self, and a never-failing consideration for the feelings of others. Such a man was Sir James Outram. When the English army was marching tothe relief of Lucknow, Sir James, who was the senior officer, allowed Havelock to take command, and to win the glory of the siege, and himself went in a subordinate position. Of him it was said that he was "one of the bravest, and yet gentlest, of men; respectful and reverent to women, tender to children, helpful to the weak, stern to the corrupt, honest as day, and pure as virtue." When Edward the Black Prince took the French king and his son prisoners at the battle of Poictiers, he gave a banquet for them in the evening, and he insisted on waiting upon and serving them at the table. At the battle of Dettingen a squadron of French cavalry charged an English regiment, and the two leaders found themselves opposed to each other. The young French officer raised his sword to attack his opponent, when he saw that he had only one arm, with which he held his bridle. Instead of cutting him down, the Frenchman saluted him with his sword, and passed on.
The fourth mark of a gentleman is Modesty about his actions and opinions. Nothing more surely marks his opposite in society than self-assertiveness and bragging. The true gentleman never boasts of what he has done. On the other hand, he does not seek to belittle a good action for which he is praised. If such an action comes to general notice, he accepts thepraise justly offered, and then seeks by silence, or by changing the topic of conversation, to withdraw particular notice from himself. He is content to do and let others talk. Sir Isaac Newton was one of the most modest men. He kept secret for a long time some of his greatest discoveries for fear of the notoriety they would bring him. He did not publish his marvellous discoveries of the Binomial Theorem and the Law of Gravitation for years, and when he published his solution of the theory of the moon's rotation round the earth he forbade the publisher to insert his name. The true gentleman is modest about his opinions. Comparatively few have deeds to boast about; but all haveopinionsto advance. We should guard against asserting them too strongly, or attempting to force them down people's throats. If an opinion is true or valuable, it is sure to make its own way by reason of its own force; it is only weakened by the loud assertion of the man of rude manner and coarse nature. It is a wise saying of the great apostle: "Not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think." The old Hebrew poet thought the highest type of gentleman him "that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart."
Courtesy is kindness of heart, combined with good manners. It is the special mark of a gentleman, particularly in his treatment of those in a humbler position than himself.
Courtesy is kindness of heart, combined with good manners. It is the special mark of a gentleman, particularly in his treatment of those in a humbler position than himself.
One of the most famous schools in England, founded by William of Wykeham, in the reign of Henry III., has for its motto the words, "Manners maketh the man." Though this does not express the whole truth, it is, nevertheless, undoubtedly true that many a man owes his success in life to his good manners. Two boys leaving school desire to enter a bank. One is a boy of very pleasing manners; the other, though, perhaps, possessing greater ability, is unpolished in appearance, and gruff in manner. If the bank manager has reason to believe them fairly equal in knowledge and ability, he will take the pleasant-mannered youth in preference to the other, because he believes in securing a clerk who will be civil to customers, and obliging to all with whom he comes in contact. It is worth while, then, to cultivatepoliteness in speech and manner. A famous woman once said: "Civility costs nothing, and buys everything."
We must be careful to distinguish between Politeness and Courtesy. Any one can learn certain rules of Politeness, even though he be coarse at heart. Some men put on Politeness with their evening coats, but are the reverse of polite in their everyday garb. To such men Politeness is like varnish or veneer; scratch them on the surface, or merely rub them the wrong way, and their real nature comes out.
Politeness is an excellent thing when it is joined to genuine kindness of heart. It then becomes Courtesy. Courtesy is Kindness and Politeness joined together and exhibited at all times to all persons, no matter what their rank in life. The man who is kind to his servant, and speaks politely to him at one time, and at another gets into a furious temper and abuses him, has not learned Courtesy. Courtesy implies a certain gentleness in dealing with other people. It is a mistake to think that Manliness and Gentleness do not go together. The strongest and most manly men are noted for their quietness of disposition. Not only are they not self-assertive, but they are actually gentle to the weak.
Courtesy comes easily to some people; to others it is difficult. Some persons are naturally open andunreserved in their nature; others are reserved and shy, and it is hard to get at them. Boys and young men often suffer far more than people think on account of shyness, which keeps them from being openly friendly with people whom they do not know well. This shyness is sometimes put down to bad temper, or moroseness, or sometimes even to a desire to be rude. How earnestly should the boy or young man strive to get rid of a failing which may be the unfortunate cause of doing him so much harm in the eyes of others!
Bacon says: "If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world, and that his heart is no island cut off from other lands, but a continent that joins to them." If you wish to be known as a courteous man, begin at once to do little acts of kindness to others. Acts of kindness form the basis of true Courtesy. Lord Chesterfield said: "The desire to please is, at least, half the art of doing it." If we wish to learn how to get a reputation for Courtesy, we must make an effort to do what others like, though we may not care about it ourselves. Many a man owes his success in life to doing pleasant things in a pleasant way. The headmaster of one of the greatest public schools in England said: "Courtesy begets Courtesy; it is a passport topopularity. The way in which things are done is often more important than the things themselves." Another writer has said: "A good deed is never lost. He who sows Courtesy reaps friendship."
To be Courteous, we must not only do kindnesses; we must do them in a pleasing manner. "Manner will do everything. Give a young fellow on setting out in life a good manner, and he will want neither meat, drink, nor clothes. 'I like that lad,' some one says, 'he has such nice off-hand manners.'" "Sir Walter Raleigh was every inch a man, a brave soldier, a brilliant courtier, and yet a mirror of Courtesy. Nobody would accuse Sir Philip Sidney of having been deficient in manliness, yet his fine manners were proverbial. It is the Courtesy of Bayard, the knight,sans peur et sans reproche, which has immortalized him quite as much as his valour." Burke said: "Manners are of more importance than laws. Upon them, in a great measure, the laws depend. Manners are what vex, soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe in."
Dr. Johnson once said: "Sir, a man has no more right tosayan uncivil thing than to act one—no more right to say a rude thing to another than to knock him down." We should be especially courteous toservants and those below us in the world. A great man returned the salute of a negro who had bowed to him. Some one told him that what he had done was very unusual. "Perhaps so," said he, "but I would not be outdone in good manners by a negro."
The truly courteous man is never caught napping. He is courteous not only in crowds, where every one can see him, or in social life, among his equals; but also in little things, at odd moments, when no one of importance is by, and to the poor and ignorant. He is courteous, too, in his own home. That, perhaps, is the final and hardest test of all. It is easy to be polite when we are out at a party of friends, though even there it is sometimes hard to show real Courtesy. In giving advice to young men, Thackeray said: "Ah, my dear fellow, take this counsel: Always dance with the old ladies, always dance with the governesses!" He meant: show your gentlehood by being kind to those who have not many friends. But it is hard to be Courteous in the home when things do not please us, and we are out with the world. Yet it is there we must begin to practise Courtesy. It is there we must learn that kindness, and cheerfulness, and good manners which will earn for us the epitaph of Tennyson's friend: