Chapter Ten.

Chapter Ten.In which is explained the Sublime Mystery of Keelhauling—Snarleyyow saves Smallbones from being drowned, although Smallbones would have drowned him.It is a dark morning; the wind is fresh from the north-west; flakes of snow are seen wafting here and there by the wind, the avant-couriers of a heavy fall; the whole sky is of one murky grey, and the sun is hidden behind a dense bank. The deck of the cutter is wet and slippery, and Dick Short has the morning watch. He is wrapt up in a Flushing pea-jacket, with thick mittens on his hands; he looks about him, and now and then a fragment of snow whirls into his eye; he winks it out, it melts and runs like a tear down his cheek. If it were not that it is contrary to man-of-war custom he would warm himself with thedouble-shuffle, but such a step would be unheard of on the quarter-deck of even the cutter Yungfrau.The tarpaulin over the hatchway is pushed on one side, and the space between the coamings is filled with the bull head and broad shoulders of Corporal Van Spitter, who, at last, gains the deck; he looks round him, and apparently is not much pleased with the weather. Before he proceeds to business, he examines the sleeves and front of his jacket, and having brushed off with the palm of his hand a variety of blanket-hairs, adhering to the cloth, he is satisfied, and now turns to the right and to the left, and forward and aft—in less than a minute he goes right round the compass. What can Corporal Van Spitter want at so early an hour? He has not come up on deck for nothing, and yet he appears to be strangely puzzled: the fact is, by the arrangements of last night, it was decided, that this morning, if Snarleyyow did not make his appearance in the boat sent on shore for fresh beef for the ship’s company, the unfortunate Smallbones was to bekeel-hauled.What a delightful morning for a keel-hauling!This ingenious process, which, however, like many other good old customs, has fallen into disuse, must be explained to the non-nautical reader. It is nothing more nor less than sending a poor navigator on a voyage of discovery under the bottom of the vessel, lowering him (The author has here explained keel-hauling as practised in those times in smallfore-and-aftvessels. In large and square-rigged vessels, the man was hauled up to one main-yard arm, and dropped into the sea, and hauled under the bottom of the vessel to the other; but this in small fore-and-aft vessels was not so easily effected, nor was it considered sufficient punishment) down over the bows, and with ropes retaining him exactly in his position under the kelsom (keelson), while he is drawn aft by a hauling line until he makes his appearance at the rudder-chains, generally speaking quite out of breath, not at the rapidity of his motion, but because, when so long under the water, he has expended all the breath in his body, and is induced to take in salt wateren lieu. There is much merit in this invention; people are very apt to be content with walking the deck of a man-of-war, and complain of it as a hardship, but when once they have learnt, by experience, the difference between being comfortable above board, and the number of deprivations which they have to submit to when under board and overboard at the same time, they find that there are worse situations than being on the deck of a vessel—we say privations when under board, for they really are very important:— you are deprived of the air to breathe, which is not borne with patience even by a philosopher, and you are obliged to drink salt water instead of fresh. In the days of keel-hauling, the bottoms of vessels were not coppered, and in consequence were well studded with a species of shell-fish which attached themselves, called barnacles, and as these shells were all open-mouthed and with sharp cutting points, those who underwent this punishment (for they were made by the ropes at each side, fastened to their arms, to hug the kelsom of the vessel) were cut and scored all over their body, as if with so many lancets, generally coming up bleeding in every part, and with their faces, especially their noses, as if they had been gnawed by the rats; but this was considered rather advantageous than otherwise, as the loss of blood restored the patient if he was not quite drowned, and the consequence was, that one out of three, it is said, have been known to recover after their submarine excursion. The Dutch have the credit, and we will not attempt to take from them their undoubted right, of having invented this very agreeable description of punishment. They are considered a heavy, phlegmatic sort of people, but on every point in which the art of ingeniously tormenting is in request, it must be admitted that they have taken the lead of much more vivacious and otherwise more inventive nations.And now the reader will perceive why Corporal Van Spitter was in a dilemma. With all the good-will in the world, with every anxiety to fulfil his duty and to obey his superior officer, he was not a seaman, and did not know how to commence operations. He knew nothing about foddering a vessel’s bottom, much less how to fodder it with the carcase of one of his fellow-creatures. The corporal, as we said before, turned round and round the compass to ascertain if he could compass his wishes; at last, he commenced by dragging one rope’s-end from one side and another from the other; those would do for the side ropes, but he wanted a long one from forward and another from aft, and how to get the one from aft under the cutter’s bottom was a puzzle; and then there was the mast and the rigging in his way;—the corporal reflected—the more he considered the matter, the more his brain became confused; he was at a nonplus, and he gave it up in despair: he stood still, took out a blue cotton handkerchief from the breast of his jacket and wiped his forehead, for the intensity of thought had made him perspire—anything like reflection was very hard work for Corporal Van Spitter.“Tousand tyfels!” at last exclaimed the corporal, and he paused and knocked his big head with his fist.“Hundred tousand tyfels!” repeated the corporal after five minutes’ more thought.“Twenty hundred tousand tyfels!” muttered the corporal, once more knocking his head: but he knocked in vain; like an empty house, there was no one within to answer the appeal. The corporal could no more; so he returned his pocket-handkerchief to the breast of his jacket, and a heavy sigh escaped from his own breast. All the devils in hell were mentally conjured and summoned to his aid, but they were, it is to be presumed, better employed, for although the work in hand was diabolical enough, still Smallbones was such a poor devil, that probably he might have been considered as remotely allied to the fraternity.It may be inquired why, as this was onservice, Corporal Van Spitter did not apply for the assistance of the seamen belonging to the vessel, particularly to the officer in charge of the deck; but the fact was, that he was unwilling to do this, knowing that his application would be in vain, for he was aware that the whole crew sided with Smallbones; it was only as a last resource that he intended to do this, and being now at hiswit’send, he walked up to Dick Short, who had been watching the corporal’s motions in silence, and accosted him.“If you please, Mynheer Short, Mynheer Vanslyperken give orders dat de boy be keel-hauled dis morning;—I want haben de rope and de way.”Short looked at the corporal, and made no reply.“Mynheer Short, I haben tell de order of Mynheer Vanslyperken.”Dick Short made no reply, but leaning over the hatchway, called out, “Jemmy.”“Ay, ay,” replied Jemmy Ducks, turning out of his hammock and dropping on the lower deck.Corporal Van Spitter, who imagined that Mr Short was about to comply with his request after his own Harpocratic fashion, remained quietly on the deck until Jemmy Ducks made his appearance.“Hands,” quoth Short.Jemmy piped the hands up.“Boat,” quoth Short, turning his head to the small boat hoisted up astern.Now as all this was apparently preparatory to the work required, the corporal was satisfied. The men soon came up with their hammocks on their shoulders, which they put into the nettings, and then Jemmy proceeded to lower down the boat. As soon as it was down and hauled up alongside, Short turned round to Coble, and waving his hand towards the shore, said—“Beef.”Coble, who perfectly understood him, put a new quid into his cheek, went down the side, and pulled on shore to bring off the fresh beef and vegetables for the ship’s company; after which Dick Short walked the deck and gave no further orders.Corporal Van Spitter perceiving this, went up to him again.“Mynheer Short, you please get ready.”“No!” thundered Short, turning away.“Got for dam, dat is mutiny,” muttered the corporal, who immediately backed stern foremost down the hatchway, to report to his commandant the state of affairs on deck. Mr Vanslyperken had already risen; he had slept but one hour during the whole night, and that one hour was so occupied with wild and fearful dreams that he awoke from his sleep un-refreshed. He had dreamed that he was making every attempt to drown Smallbones, but without effect, for, so soon as the lad was dead he came to life again; he thought that Smallbones soul was incorporated in a small animal something like a mouse, and that he had to dislodge it from its tenement of clay; but as soon as he drove it from one part of the body it would force its way back again into another; if he forced it out by the mouth after incredible exertions, which made him perspire at every pore, it would run back again into the ear; if forced from thence, through the nostril, then in at the toe, or any other part; in short, he laboured apparently in his dream for years, but without success. And then the “change came o’er the spirit of his dream;” but still there was analogy, for he was now trying to press his suit, which was now a liquid in a phial, into the widow Vandersloosh, but in vain. He administered it again and again, but it acted as an emetic, and she could not stomach it, and then he found himself rejected by all—the widow kicked him, Smallbones stamped upon him, even Snarleyyow flew at him and bit him; at last, he fell with an enormous paving-stone round his neck, descending into a horrible abyss head foremost, and, as he increased his velocity, he awoke trembling and confused, and could sleep no more. This dream was not one to put Mr Vanslyperken into good humour, and two severe cuts on his cheek with the razor as he attempted to shave, for his hand still trembled, had added to his discontent, when it was raised to its climax by the entrance of Corporal Van Spitter, who made his report of the mutinous conduct of the first officer. Never was Mr Vanslyperken in such a tumult of rage; he pulled off some beaver from his hat to staunch the blood, and wiping off the remainder of the lather, for he put aside the operation of shaving till his hand was more steady, he threw on his coat, and followed the corporal on deck, looked round with a savage air, spied out the diminutive form of Jemmy Ducks, and desired him to pipe “all hands to keel-haul.”Whereupon Jemmy put his pipe to his mouth, and after a long flourish, bawled out what appeared to Mr Vanslyperken to be—all hands to bekeel-hauled; but Jemmy slurred over quickly the little change made in the order, and, although the men tittered, Mr Vanslyperken thought it better to say nothing. But there is an old saying, that you may bring a horse to the pond, but you cannot make him drink. Mr Vanslyperken had given the order, but no one attempted to commence the arrangements. The only person who showed any activity was Smallbones himself, who, not aware that he was to be punished, and hearing all hands piped for something or another, came shambling, a an wings, up the hatchway, and looked round to ascertain what was to be done. He was met by the bulky form of Corporal Van Spitter, who, thinking that Smallbones’ making his appearance in such haste was with the intention of jumping overboard to avoid his punishment, immediately seized him by the collar with the left hand, turned round on a pivot towards Mr Vanslyperken, and raising his right hand to his foraging cap, reported, “The prisoner on deck, Mynheer Vanslyperken.” This roused the lieutenant to action for he had been walking the deck for a half minute in deep thought.“Is all ready there, forward?” cried Mr Vanslyperken.No one replied.“I say, boatswain, is all ready?”“No, sir,” replied Jemmy; “nobody knows how to set about it. I don’t, any how—I never seed anything of the like since I’ve been in the service—the whole of the ship’s company say the same.” But even the flakes of snow, which now fell thick, and whitened the blue jacket of Mr Vanslyperken, could not assuage his wrath; he perceived that the men were refractory, so he summoned the six marines, who were completely under the control of their corporal.Poor Smallbones had, in the meantime, discovered what was going on, and thought that he might as well urge something in his own defence.“If you please, what are you going for to do with me?” said the lad, with a terrified look.“Lead him forward,” said Mr Vanslyperken; “follow me, marines;” and the whole party, headed by the lieutenant, went before the mast.“Strip him,” cried Mr Vanslyperken.“Strip me, with the snow flying like this! Ar’n’t I cold enough already?”“You’ll be colder when you’re under the bottom of the cutter,” replied his master.“O Lord, then it is keel-hauling a’ter all; why, what have I done?” cried Smallbones, as the marines divested him of his shirt, and exposed his emaciated body to the pitiless storm.“Where’s Snarleyyow, sir?—confess.”“Snarleyyow—how should I know, sir? it’s very hard because your dog is not to be found, that I’m to be dragged under the bottom of a vessel.”“I’ll teach you to throw paving-stones in the canal.”“Paving stones, sir!” and Smallbones’ guilty conscience flew in his face. “Well, sir, do as you please, I’m sure I don’t care; if I am to be killed, be quick about it—I’m sure I shan’t come up alive.”Here Mr Vanslyperken remembered his dream, and the difficulty which he had in driving Smallbones’ soul out of his body, and he was fearful that even keel-hauling would not settle Smallbones.By the direction of Mr Vanslyperken, the hauling ropes and other tackle were collected by the marines, for the seamen stood by, and appeared resolved, to a man, to do nothing, and, in about half an hour, all was ready. Four marines manned the hauling line, one was placed at each side-rope fastened to the lad’s arms, and the corporal, as soon as he had lifted the body of Smallbones over the larboard gunwale, had directions to attend the bow-line, and not allow him to be dragged on too fast: a better selection for this purpose could not have been made than Corporal Van Spitter. Smallbones had been laid without his clothes on the deck, now covered with snow, during the time that the lines were making fast to him; he remained silent, and, as usual when punished, with his eyes shut, and as Vanslyperken watched him with feelings of hatred, he perceived an occasional smile to cross the lad’s haggard features. He knows where the dog is, thought Vanslyperken, and his desire to know what had become of Snarleyyow overcame his vengeance. He addressed the shivering Smallbones:—“Now, sir, if you wish to escape the punishment, tell me what has become of the dog, for I perceive that you know.”Smallbones grinned as his teeth chattered—he would have undergone a dozen keel-haulings rather than have satisfied Vanslyperken.“I give you ten minutes to think of it,” continued the lieutenant; “hold all fast at present.”The snow-storm now came on so thick that it was difficult to distinguish the length of the vessel. Smallbones’ naked limbs were gradually covered, and, before the ten minutes were expired, he was wrapped up in snow as in a garment; he shook his head occasionally to clear his face, but remained silent.“Now, sir,” cried Vanslyperken, “will you tell me? or overboard you go at once. Will you tell me?”“No,” replied Smallbones.“Do you know, you scoundrel?”“Yes,” replied Smallbones, whose indignation was roused.“And you won’t tell?”“No,” shrieked the lad—“no, never, never, never!”“Corporal Van Spitter, over with him,” cried Vanslyperken in a rage, when a sudden stir was heard amongst the men aft, and as the corporal raised up the light frame of the culprit, to carry it to the gunwale, to the astonishment of Vanslyperken, of the corporal, and of Smallbones, Snarleyyow appeared on the forecastle, and made a rush at Smallbones, as he lay in the corporal’s arms, snapped at his leg, and then set up his usual deep baying, “bow, bow, bow!”The re-appearance of the dog created no small sensation—Vanslyperken felt that he had now no reason for keel-hauling Smallbones, which annoyed him as much as the sight of the dog gave him pleasure. The corporal, who had dropped Smallbones on the snow, was also disappointed. As for Smallbones, at the baying of the dog, he started up on his knees, and looked at it as if it were an apparition, with every demonstration of terror in his countenance; his eyes glared upon the animal with horror and astonishment, and he fell down in a swoon. The whole of the ship’s company were taken aback—they looked at one another and shook their heads—one only remark was made by Jansen, who muttered, “De tog is no tog a’ter all.”Mr Vanslyperken ordered Smallbones to be taken below, and then walked aft; perceiving Obadiah Coble, he inquired whence the dog had come, and was answered that he had come off in the boat which he had taken on shore for fresh beef and vegetables. Mr Vanslyperken made no reply, but, with Snarleyyow at his heels, went down into the cabin.

It is a dark morning; the wind is fresh from the north-west; flakes of snow are seen wafting here and there by the wind, the avant-couriers of a heavy fall; the whole sky is of one murky grey, and the sun is hidden behind a dense bank. The deck of the cutter is wet and slippery, and Dick Short has the morning watch. He is wrapt up in a Flushing pea-jacket, with thick mittens on his hands; he looks about him, and now and then a fragment of snow whirls into his eye; he winks it out, it melts and runs like a tear down his cheek. If it were not that it is contrary to man-of-war custom he would warm himself with thedouble-shuffle, but such a step would be unheard of on the quarter-deck of even the cutter Yungfrau.

The tarpaulin over the hatchway is pushed on one side, and the space between the coamings is filled with the bull head and broad shoulders of Corporal Van Spitter, who, at last, gains the deck; he looks round him, and apparently is not much pleased with the weather. Before he proceeds to business, he examines the sleeves and front of his jacket, and having brushed off with the palm of his hand a variety of blanket-hairs, adhering to the cloth, he is satisfied, and now turns to the right and to the left, and forward and aft—in less than a minute he goes right round the compass. What can Corporal Van Spitter want at so early an hour? He has not come up on deck for nothing, and yet he appears to be strangely puzzled: the fact is, by the arrangements of last night, it was decided, that this morning, if Snarleyyow did not make his appearance in the boat sent on shore for fresh beef for the ship’s company, the unfortunate Smallbones was to bekeel-hauled.

What a delightful morning for a keel-hauling!

This ingenious process, which, however, like many other good old customs, has fallen into disuse, must be explained to the non-nautical reader. It is nothing more nor less than sending a poor navigator on a voyage of discovery under the bottom of the vessel, lowering him (The author has here explained keel-hauling as practised in those times in smallfore-and-aftvessels. In large and square-rigged vessels, the man was hauled up to one main-yard arm, and dropped into the sea, and hauled under the bottom of the vessel to the other; but this in small fore-and-aft vessels was not so easily effected, nor was it considered sufficient punishment) down over the bows, and with ropes retaining him exactly in his position under the kelsom (keelson), while he is drawn aft by a hauling line until he makes his appearance at the rudder-chains, generally speaking quite out of breath, not at the rapidity of his motion, but because, when so long under the water, he has expended all the breath in his body, and is induced to take in salt wateren lieu. There is much merit in this invention; people are very apt to be content with walking the deck of a man-of-war, and complain of it as a hardship, but when once they have learnt, by experience, the difference between being comfortable above board, and the number of deprivations which they have to submit to when under board and overboard at the same time, they find that there are worse situations than being on the deck of a vessel—we say privations when under board, for they really are very important:— you are deprived of the air to breathe, which is not borne with patience even by a philosopher, and you are obliged to drink salt water instead of fresh. In the days of keel-hauling, the bottoms of vessels were not coppered, and in consequence were well studded with a species of shell-fish which attached themselves, called barnacles, and as these shells were all open-mouthed and with sharp cutting points, those who underwent this punishment (for they were made by the ropes at each side, fastened to their arms, to hug the kelsom of the vessel) were cut and scored all over their body, as if with so many lancets, generally coming up bleeding in every part, and with their faces, especially their noses, as if they had been gnawed by the rats; but this was considered rather advantageous than otherwise, as the loss of blood restored the patient if he was not quite drowned, and the consequence was, that one out of three, it is said, have been known to recover after their submarine excursion. The Dutch have the credit, and we will not attempt to take from them their undoubted right, of having invented this very agreeable description of punishment. They are considered a heavy, phlegmatic sort of people, but on every point in which the art of ingeniously tormenting is in request, it must be admitted that they have taken the lead of much more vivacious and otherwise more inventive nations.

And now the reader will perceive why Corporal Van Spitter was in a dilemma. With all the good-will in the world, with every anxiety to fulfil his duty and to obey his superior officer, he was not a seaman, and did not know how to commence operations. He knew nothing about foddering a vessel’s bottom, much less how to fodder it with the carcase of one of his fellow-creatures. The corporal, as we said before, turned round and round the compass to ascertain if he could compass his wishes; at last, he commenced by dragging one rope’s-end from one side and another from the other; those would do for the side ropes, but he wanted a long one from forward and another from aft, and how to get the one from aft under the cutter’s bottom was a puzzle; and then there was the mast and the rigging in his way;—the corporal reflected—the more he considered the matter, the more his brain became confused; he was at a nonplus, and he gave it up in despair: he stood still, took out a blue cotton handkerchief from the breast of his jacket and wiped his forehead, for the intensity of thought had made him perspire—anything like reflection was very hard work for Corporal Van Spitter.

“Tousand tyfels!” at last exclaimed the corporal, and he paused and knocked his big head with his fist.

“Hundred tousand tyfels!” repeated the corporal after five minutes’ more thought.

“Twenty hundred tousand tyfels!” muttered the corporal, once more knocking his head: but he knocked in vain; like an empty house, there was no one within to answer the appeal. The corporal could no more; so he returned his pocket-handkerchief to the breast of his jacket, and a heavy sigh escaped from his own breast. All the devils in hell were mentally conjured and summoned to his aid, but they were, it is to be presumed, better employed, for although the work in hand was diabolical enough, still Smallbones was such a poor devil, that probably he might have been considered as remotely allied to the fraternity.

It may be inquired why, as this was onservice, Corporal Van Spitter did not apply for the assistance of the seamen belonging to the vessel, particularly to the officer in charge of the deck; but the fact was, that he was unwilling to do this, knowing that his application would be in vain, for he was aware that the whole crew sided with Smallbones; it was only as a last resource that he intended to do this, and being now at hiswit’send, he walked up to Dick Short, who had been watching the corporal’s motions in silence, and accosted him.

“If you please, Mynheer Short, Mynheer Vanslyperken give orders dat de boy be keel-hauled dis morning;—I want haben de rope and de way.”

Short looked at the corporal, and made no reply.

“Mynheer Short, I haben tell de order of Mynheer Vanslyperken.”

Dick Short made no reply, but leaning over the hatchway, called out, “Jemmy.”

“Ay, ay,” replied Jemmy Ducks, turning out of his hammock and dropping on the lower deck.

Corporal Van Spitter, who imagined that Mr Short was about to comply with his request after his own Harpocratic fashion, remained quietly on the deck until Jemmy Ducks made his appearance.

“Hands,” quoth Short.

Jemmy piped the hands up.

“Boat,” quoth Short, turning his head to the small boat hoisted up astern.

Now as all this was apparently preparatory to the work required, the corporal was satisfied. The men soon came up with their hammocks on their shoulders, which they put into the nettings, and then Jemmy proceeded to lower down the boat. As soon as it was down and hauled up alongside, Short turned round to Coble, and waving his hand towards the shore, said—

“Beef.”

Coble, who perfectly understood him, put a new quid into his cheek, went down the side, and pulled on shore to bring off the fresh beef and vegetables for the ship’s company; after which Dick Short walked the deck and gave no further orders.

Corporal Van Spitter perceiving this, went up to him again.

“Mynheer Short, you please get ready.”

“No!” thundered Short, turning away.

“Got for dam, dat is mutiny,” muttered the corporal, who immediately backed stern foremost down the hatchway, to report to his commandant the state of affairs on deck. Mr Vanslyperken had already risen; he had slept but one hour during the whole night, and that one hour was so occupied with wild and fearful dreams that he awoke from his sleep un-refreshed. He had dreamed that he was making every attempt to drown Smallbones, but without effect, for, so soon as the lad was dead he came to life again; he thought that Smallbones soul was incorporated in a small animal something like a mouse, and that he had to dislodge it from its tenement of clay; but as soon as he drove it from one part of the body it would force its way back again into another; if he forced it out by the mouth after incredible exertions, which made him perspire at every pore, it would run back again into the ear; if forced from thence, through the nostril, then in at the toe, or any other part; in short, he laboured apparently in his dream for years, but without success. And then the “change came o’er the spirit of his dream;” but still there was analogy, for he was now trying to press his suit, which was now a liquid in a phial, into the widow Vandersloosh, but in vain. He administered it again and again, but it acted as an emetic, and she could not stomach it, and then he found himself rejected by all—the widow kicked him, Smallbones stamped upon him, even Snarleyyow flew at him and bit him; at last, he fell with an enormous paving-stone round his neck, descending into a horrible abyss head foremost, and, as he increased his velocity, he awoke trembling and confused, and could sleep no more. This dream was not one to put Mr Vanslyperken into good humour, and two severe cuts on his cheek with the razor as he attempted to shave, for his hand still trembled, had added to his discontent, when it was raised to its climax by the entrance of Corporal Van Spitter, who made his report of the mutinous conduct of the first officer. Never was Mr Vanslyperken in such a tumult of rage; he pulled off some beaver from his hat to staunch the blood, and wiping off the remainder of the lather, for he put aside the operation of shaving till his hand was more steady, he threw on his coat, and followed the corporal on deck, looked round with a savage air, spied out the diminutive form of Jemmy Ducks, and desired him to pipe “all hands to keel-haul.”

Whereupon Jemmy put his pipe to his mouth, and after a long flourish, bawled out what appeared to Mr Vanslyperken to be—all hands to bekeel-hauled; but Jemmy slurred over quickly the little change made in the order, and, although the men tittered, Mr Vanslyperken thought it better to say nothing. But there is an old saying, that you may bring a horse to the pond, but you cannot make him drink. Mr Vanslyperken had given the order, but no one attempted to commence the arrangements. The only person who showed any activity was Smallbones himself, who, not aware that he was to be punished, and hearing all hands piped for something or another, came shambling, a an wings, up the hatchway, and looked round to ascertain what was to be done. He was met by the bulky form of Corporal Van Spitter, who, thinking that Smallbones’ making his appearance in such haste was with the intention of jumping overboard to avoid his punishment, immediately seized him by the collar with the left hand, turned round on a pivot towards Mr Vanslyperken, and raising his right hand to his foraging cap, reported, “The prisoner on deck, Mynheer Vanslyperken.” This roused the lieutenant to action for he had been walking the deck for a half minute in deep thought.

“Is all ready there, forward?” cried Mr Vanslyperken.

No one replied.

“I say, boatswain, is all ready?”

“No, sir,” replied Jemmy; “nobody knows how to set about it. I don’t, any how—I never seed anything of the like since I’ve been in the service—the whole of the ship’s company say the same.” But even the flakes of snow, which now fell thick, and whitened the blue jacket of Mr Vanslyperken, could not assuage his wrath; he perceived that the men were refractory, so he summoned the six marines, who were completely under the control of their corporal.

Poor Smallbones had, in the meantime, discovered what was going on, and thought that he might as well urge something in his own defence.

“If you please, what are you going for to do with me?” said the lad, with a terrified look.

“Lead him forward,” said Mr Vanslyperken; “follow me, marines;” and the whole party, headed by the lieutenant, went before the mast.

“Strip him,” cried Mr Vanslyperken.

“Strip me, with the snow flying like this! Ar’n’t I cold enough already?”

“You’ll be colder when you’re under the bottom of the cutter,” replied his master.

“O Lord, then it is keel-hauling a’ter all; why, what have I done?” cried Smallbones, as the marines divested him of his shirt, and exposed his emaciated body to the pitiless storm.

“Where’s Snarleyyow, sir?—confess.”

“Snarleyyow—how should I know, sir? it’s very hard because your dog is not to be found, that I’m to be dragged under the bottom of a vessel.”

“I’ll teach you to throw paving-stones in the canal.”

“Paving stones, sir!” and Smallbones’ guilty conscience flew in his face. “Well, sir, do as you please, I’m sure I don’t care; if I am to be killed, be quick about it—I’m sure I shan’t come up alive.”

Here Mr Vanslyperken remembered his dream, and the difficulty which he had in driving Smallbones’ soul out of his body, and he was fearful that even keel-hauling would not settle Smallbones.

By the direction of Mr Vanslyperken, the hauling ropes and other tackle were collected by the marines, for the seamen stood by, and appeared resolved, to a man, to do nothing, and, in about half an hour, all was ready. Four marines manned the hauling line, one was placed at each side-rope fastened to the lad’s arms, and the corporal, as soon as he had lifted the body of Smallbones over the larboard gunwale, had directions to attend the bow-line, and not allow him to be dragged on too fast: a better selection for this purpose could not have been made than Corporal Van Spitter. Smallbones had been laid without his clothes on the deck, now covered with snow, during the time that the lines were making fast to him; he remained silent, and, as usual when punished, with his eyes shut, and as Vanslyperken watched him with feelings of hatred, he perceived an occasional smile to cross the lad’s haggard features. He knows where the dog is, thought Vanslyperken, and his desire to know what had become of Snarleyyow overcame his vengeance. He addressed the shivering Smallbones:—

“Now, sir, if you wish to escape the punishment, tell me what has become of the dog, for I perceive that you know.”

Smallbones grinned as his teeth chattered—he would have undergone a dozen keel-haulings rather than have satisfied Vanslyperken.

“I give you ten minutes to think of it,” continued the lieutenant; “hold all fast at present.”

The snow-storm now came on so thick that it was difficult to distinguish the length of the vessel. Smallbones’ naked limbs were gradually covered, and, before the ten minutes were expired, he was wrapped up in snow as in a garment; he shook his head occasionally to clear his face, but remained silent.

“Now, sir,” cried Vanslyperken, “will you tell me? or overboard you go at once. Will you tell me?”

“No,” replied Smallbones.

“Do you know, you scoundrel?”

“Yes,” replied Smallbones, whose indignation was roused.

“And you won’t tell?”

“No,” shrieked the lad—“no, never, never, never!”

“Corporal Van Spitter, over with him,” cried Vanslyperken in a rage, when a sudden stir was heard amongst the men aft, and as the corporal raised up the light frame of the culprit, to carry it to the gunwale, to the astonishment of Vanslyperken, of the corporal, and of Smallbones, Snarleyyow appeared on the forecastle, and made a rush at Smallbones, as he lay in the corporal’s arms, snapped at his leg, and then set up his usual deep baying, “bow, bow, bow!”

The re-appearance of the dog created no small sensation—Vanslyperken felt that he had now no reason for keel-hauling Smallbones, which annoyed him as much as the sight of the dog gave him pleasure. The corporal, who had dropped Smallbones on the snow, was also disappointed. As for Smallbones, at the baying of the dog, he started up on his knees, and looked at it as if it were an apparition, with every demonstration of terror in his countenance; his eyes glared upon the animal with horror and astonishment, and he fell down in a swoon. The whole of the ship’s company were taken aback—they looked at one another and shook their heads—one only remark was made by Jansen, who muttered, “De tog is no tog a’ter all.”

Mr Vanslyperken ordered Smallbones to be taken below, and then walked aft; perceiving Obadiah Coble, he inquired whence the dog had come, and was answered that he had come off in the boat which he had taken on shore for fresh beef and vegetables. Mr Vanslyperken made no reply, but, with Snarleyyow at his heels, went down into the cabin.

Chapter Eleven.In which Snarleyyow does not at all assist his Master’s Cause with the Widow Vandersloosh.It will be necessary to explain to the reader by what means the life of our celebrated cur was preserved. When Smallbones had thrown him into the canal, tied up, as he supposed, in his winding-sheet, what Mr Vanslyperken observed was true, that there were people below, and the supposed paving-stone might have fallen upon them: the voices which he heard were those of a father and son, who were in a small boat going from a galliot to the steps where they intended to land; for this canal was not like most others, with the water in it sufficiently high to enable people to step from the vessel’s gunwale to the jetty. Snarleyyow fell in his bag a few yards ahead of the boat, and the splash naturally attracted their attention; he did not sink immediately, but floundered and struggled so as to keep himself partly above water.“What is that?” exclaimed the father to his son, in Dutch.“Mein Gott! who is to know?—but we will see;” and the boy took the boat-hook, and with it dragged the bread-bags towards the boat, just as they were sinking, for Snarleyyow was exhausted with his efforts. The two together dragged the bags with their contents into the boat.“It is a dog or something,” observed the son.“Very well, but the bread-bags will be useful,” replied the father, and they pulled on to the landing-stairs. When they arrived there they lifted out the bags, laid them on the stone steps, and proceeded to unrip them, when they found Snarleyyow, who was just giving signs of returning animation. They took the bags with them, after having rolled his carcase out, and left it on the steps, for there was a fine for throwing anything into the canal. The cur soon after recovered, and was able to stand on his legs; so soon as he could walk he made his way to the door of the widow Vandersloosh, and howled for admittance. The widow had retired: she had been reading her book ofprières, as every one should do who has been cheating people all day long. She was about to extinguish her light, when this serenade saluted her ears; it became intolerable as the dog gained strength.Babette had long been fast asleep, and was with difficulty roused up and directed to beat the cur away. She attempted to perform the duty, arming herself with the broom; but the moment she opened the door Snarleyyow dashed in between her legs, upsetting her on the brick pavement. Babette screamed, and her mistress came out in the passage to ascertain the cause; the dog not being able to run into the parlour, bolted up the stairs, and snapping at the widow as he passed, secured a berth underneath her bed.“Oh, mein Gott! it is the dog of the lieutenant,” exclaimed Babette, coming up the stairs in greater dishabille than her mistress, and with the broom in her hand. “What shall we do—how shall we get rid of him?”“A thousand devils may take the lieutenant, and his nasty dog, too,” exclaimed the widow, in great wrath; “this is the last time that either of them enter my house; try, Babette, with your broom—shove at him hard.”“Yes, ma’am,” replied Babette, pushing with all her strength at the dog beneath the bed, who seized the broom with his teeth, and pulled it away from Babette. It was a struggle of strength between the girl and Snarleyyow—pull, Babette—pull, dog—one moment the broom, with two-thirds of the handle, disappeared under the bed, the next the maid recovered her lost ground. Snarleyyow was first tired of this contention, and to prove that he had no thoughts of abandoning his position, he let go the broom, flew at Babette’s naked legs, and having inserted his teeth half through her ankle, he returned growling to his former retreat. “O dear, mein Gott!” exclaimed Babette, dropping her broom, and holding her ankle with both hands.“What shall we do?” cried the widow, wringing her hands.It was indeed a case of difficulty. Mynheer Vandersloosh, before he had quitted this transitory scene, had become a personage as bulky as the widow herself, and the bed had been made unusually wide; the widow still retained the bed for her own use, for there was no knowing whether she might not again be induced to enter the hymeneal state. It occupied more than one half of the room, and the dog had gained a position from which it was not easy for two women to dislodge him; and, as the dog snarled and growled under the bed, so; did the widow’s wrath rise as she stood shivering—and it was directed against the master. She vowed mentally, that so sure as the dog was under the bed, so sure should his master never get into it.And Babette’s wrath was also kindled, now that the first pain of the bite had worn off; she seized the broom again, and made some furious lunges at Snarleyyow, so furious, that he could not regain possession with his teeth. The door of the room had been left open that the dog might escape—so had the street-door; and the widow stood at the foot of the bed, waiting for some such effect being produced by Babette’s vigorous attacks; but the effects were not such as she anticipated; the dog became more enraged, and at last sprang out at the foot of the bed, flew at the widow, tore her only garment, and bit her in the leg. Frau Vandersloosh screamed and reeled—reeled against the door left half open and falling against it, slammed it to with her weight, and fell down shrieking. Snarleyyow, who probably had intended to make off, seeing that his escape was prevented, again retreated under the bed, and as soon as he was there he recommenced an attack upon Babette’s legs.Now, it appears, that what the united courage of the two females could not accomplish, was at last effected by their united fears. The widow Vandersloosh gained her legs as soon as she could, and at first opened the door to run out, but her night dress was torn to ribbons in front. She looked at her situation—modesty conquered every other feeling—she burst into tears, and exclaiming, “Mr Vanslyperken! Mr Vanslyperken!” she threw herself in an ecstasy of grief and rage on the centre of the bed. At the same moment the teeth of the dog were again fixed upon the ankles of Babette, who also shrieked, and threw herself on the bed, and upon her mistress. The bed was a good bed, and had for years done its duty; but you may even overload a bed, and so it proved in this instance. The united weights of the mistress and the maid coming down upon it with such emphasis, was more than the bed could bear—the sacking gave way altogether, and the mattress which they lay upon was now supported by the floor.But this misfortune was their preservation—for when the mattress came down, it came down upon Snarleyyow. The animal contrived to clear his loins, or he would have perished; but he could not clear his long mangy tail, which was now caught and firmly fixed in a new species of trap, the widow’s broadest proportions having firmly secured him by it. Snarleyyow pulled, and pulled, but he pulled in vain—he was fixed—he could not bite, for the mattress was between them—he pulled, and he howled, and barked, and turned himself every way, and yelped; and had not his tail been of coarse and thick dimensions, he might have left it behind him, so great were his exertions; but no, it was impossible. The widow was a widow of substance, as Vanslyperken had imagined, and as she now proved to the dog—the only difference was, that the master wished to be in the very situation the dog was now so anxious to escape from—to wit, tailed on to the widow. Babette, who soon perceived that the dog was so, now got out of the bed, and begging her mistress not to move an inch, and seizing the broom, she hammered Snarleyyow most unmercifully, without any fear of retaliation. The dog redoubled his exertions, and the extra weight of Babette being now removed, he was at last able to withdraw his appendage, and probably feeling that there was now no chance of a quiet night’s rest in his present quarters, he made a bolt out of the room down the stairs, and into the street. Babette chased him down, threw the broom at his head as he cleared the threshold, and then bolted the door.“O the beast!” exclaimed Babette, going up stairs again out of breath; “he’s gone at last, ma’am.”“Yes,” replied the widow, rising up with difficulty from the hole made with her own centre of gravity; “and—and his master shall go too. Make love, indeed—the atomy—the shrimp—the dried up stock-fish. Love, quotha—and refuse to hang a cur like that. O dear! O dear! get me something to put on. One of my best chemises all in rags—and his nasty teeth in my leg in two places, Babette. Well, well, Mr Vanslyperken, we shall see—I don’t care for their custom. Mr Vanslyperken, you’ll not sit on my sofa again, I can tell you;—hug your nasty cur—quite good enough for you. Yes, yes, Mr Vanslyperken.”By this time the widow had received a fresh supply of linen from Babette; and as soon as she had put it on she rose from the bed, the fractured state of which again called forth her indignation.“Thirty-two years have I had this bed, wedded and single, Babette!” exclaimed the widow. “For sixteen years did I sleep on that bed with the lamented Mr Vandersloosh—for sixteen years have I slept in it, a lone widow—but never till now did it break down. How am I to sleep to-night? What am I to do, Babette?”“’Twas well it did break down, ma’am,” replied Babette, who was smoothing down the jagged skin at her ankles; “or we should never have got the nasty biting brute out of the house.”“Very well—very well. Yes, yes, Mr Vanslyperken—marriage, indeed, I’d as soon marry his cur.”“Mein Gott!” exclaimed Babette. “I think, madam, if you did marry, you would soon find the master as cross as the dog; but I must make this bed.”Babette proceeded to examine the mischief, and found that it was only the cords which tied the sacking which had given way, and considering that they had done their office for thirty-two years and the strain which had been put upon them after so long a period, there was not munch to complain of. A new cord was procured, and, in a quarter of an hour, all was right again; and the widow, who had sat in the chair fuming and blowing off her steam, as soon as Babette had turned down the bed turned in again, muttering, “Yes, yes, Mr Vanslyperken—marriage indeed. Well, well, we shall see. Stop till to-morrow, Mr Vanslyperken;” and as Babette has closed the curtains, so will we close this chapter.

It will be necessary to explain to the reader by what means the life of our celebrated cur was preserved. When Smallbones had thrown him into the canal, tied up, as he supposed, in his winding-sheet, what Mr Vanslyperken observed was true, that there were people below, and the supposed paving-stone might have fallen upon them: the voices which he heard were those of a father and son, who were in a small boat going from a galliot to the steps where they intended to land; for this canal was not like most others, with the water in it sufficiently high to enable people to step from the vessel’s gunwale to the jetty. Snarleyyow fell in his bag a few yards ahead of the boat, and the splash naturally attracted their attention; he did not sink immediately, but floundered and struggled so as to keep himself partly above water.

“What is that?” exclaimed the father to his son, in Dutch.

“Mein Gott! who is to know?—but we will see;” and the boy took the boat-hook, and with it dragged the bread-bags towards the boat, just as they were sinking, for Snarleyyow was exhausted with his efforts. The two together dragged the bags with their contents into the boat.

“It is a dog or something,” observed the son.

“Very well, but the bread-bags will be useful,” replied the father, and they pulled on to the landing-stairs. When they arrived there they lifted out the bags, laid them on the stone steps, and proceeded to unrip them, when they found Snarleyyow, who was just giving signs of returning animation. They took the bags with them, after having rolled his carcase out, and left it on the steps, for there was a fine for throwing anything into the canal. The cur soon after recovered, and was able to stand on his legs; so soon as he could walk he made his way to the door of the widow Vandersloosh, and howled for admittance. The widow had retired: she had been reading her book ofprières, as every one should do who has been cheating people all day long. She was about to extinguish her light, when this serenade saluted her ears; it became intolerable as the dog gained strength.

Babette had long been fast asleep, and was with difficulty roused up and directed to beat the cur away. She attempted to perform the duty, arming herself with the broom; but the moment she opened the door Snarleyyow dashed in between her legs, upsetting her on the brick pavement. Babette screamed, and her mistress came out in the passage to ascertain the cause; the dog not being able to run into the parlour, bolted up the stairs, and snapping at the widow as he passed, secured a berth underneath her bed.

“Oh, mein Gott! it is the dog of the lieutenant,” exclaimed Babette, coming up the stairs in greater dishabille than her mistress, and with the broom in her hand. “What shall we do—how shall we get rid of him?”

“A thousand devils may take the lieutenant, and his nasty dog, too,” exclaimed the widow, in great wrath; “this is the last time that either of them enter my house; try, Babette, with your broom—shove at him hard.”

“Yes, ma’am,” replied Babette, pushing with all her strength at the dog beneath the bed, who seized the broom with his teeth, and pulled it away from Babette. It was a struggle of strength between the girl and Snarleyyow—pull, Babette—pull, dog—one moment the broom, with two-thirds of the handle, disappeared under the bed, the next the maid recovered her lost ground. Snarleyyow was first tired of this contention, and to prove that he had no thoughts of abandoning his position, he let go the broom, flew at Babette’s naked legs, and having inserted his teeth half through her ankle, he returned growling to his former retreat. “O dear, mein Gott!” exclaimed Babette, dropping her broom, and holding her ankle with both hands.

“What shall we do?” cried the widow, wringing her hands.

It was indeed a case of difficulty. Mynheer Vandersloosh, before he had quitted this transitory scene, had become a personage as bulky as the widow herself, and the bed had been made unusually wide; the widow still retained the bed for her own use, for there was no knowing whether she might not again be induced to enter the hymeneal state. It occupied more than one half of the room, and the dog had gained a position from which it was not easy for two women to dislodge him; and, as the dog snarled and growled under the bed, so; did the widow’s wrath rise as she stood shivering—and it was directed against the master. She vowed mentally, that so sure as the dog was under the bed, so sure should his master never get into it.

And Babette’s wrath was also kindled, now that the first pain of the bite had worn off; she seized the broom again, and made some furious lunges at Snarleyyow, so furious, that he could not regain possession with his teeth. The door of the room had been left open that the dog might escape—so had the street-door; and the widow stood at the foot of the bed, waiting for some such effect being produced by Babette’s vigorous attacks; but the effects were not such as she anticipated; the dog became more enraged, and at last sprang out at the foot of the bed, flew at the widow, tore her only garment, and bit her in the leg. Frau Vandersloosh screamed and reeled—reeled against the door left half open and falling against it, slammed it to with her weight, and fell down shrieking. Snarleyyow, who probably had intended to make off, seeing that his escape was prevented, again retreated under the bed, and as soon as he was there he recommenced an attack upon Babette’s legs.

Now, it appears, that what the united courage of the two females could not accomplish, was at last effected by their united fears. The widow Vandersloosh gained her legs as soon as she could, and at first opened the door to run out, but her night dress was torn to ribbons in front. She looked at her situation—modesty conquered every other feeling—she burst into tears, and exclaiming, “Mr Vanslyperken! Mr Vanslyperken!” she threw herself in an ecstasy of grief and rage on the centre of the bed. At the same moment the teeth of the dog were again fixed upon the ankles of Babette, who also shrieked, and threw herself on the bed, and upon her mistress. The bed was a good bed, and had for years done its duty; but you may even overload a bed, and so it proved in this instance. The united weights of the mistress and the maid coming down upon it with such emphasis, was more than the bed could bear—the sacking gave way altogether, and the mattress which they lay upon was now supported by the floor.

But this misfortune was their preservation—for when the mattress came down, it came down upon Snarleyyow. The animal contrived to clear his loins, or he would have perished; but he could not clear his long mangy tail, which was now caught and firmly fixed in a new species of trap, the widow’s broadest proportions having firmly secured him by it. Snarleyyow pulled, and pulled, but he pulled in vain—he was fixed—he could not bite, for the mattress was between them—he pulled, and he howled, and barked, and turned himself every way, and yelped; and had not his tail been of coarse and thick dimensions, he might have left it behind him, so great were his exertions; but no, it was impossible. The widow was a widow of substance, as Vanslyperken had imagined, and as she now proved to the dog—the only difference was, that the master wished to be in the very situation the dog was now so anxious to escape from—to wit, tailed on to the widow. Babette, who soon perceived that the dog was so, now got out of the bed, and begging her mistress not to move an inch, and seizing the broom, she hammered Snarleyyow most unmercifully, without any fear of retaliation. The dog redoubled his exertions, and the extra weight of Babette being now removed, he was at last able to withdraw his appendage, and probably feeling that there was now no chance of a quiet night’s rest in his present quarters, he made a bolt out of the room down the stairs, and into the street. Babette chased him down, threw the broom at his head as he cleared the threshold, and then bolted the door.

“O the beast!” exclaimed Babette, going up stairs again out of breath; “he’s gone at last, ma’am.”

“Yes,” replied the widow, rising up with difficulty from the hole made with her own centre of gravity; “and—and his master shall go too. Make love, indeed—the atomy—the shrimp—the dried up stock-fish. Love, quotha—and refuse to hang a cur like that. O dear! O dear! get me something to put on. One of my best chemises all in rags—and his nasty teeth in my leg in two places, Babette. Well, well, Mr Vanslyperken, we shall see—I don’t care for their custom. Mr Vanslyperken, you’ll not sit on my sofa again, I can tell you;—hug your nasty cur—quite good enough for you. Yes, yes, Mr Vanslyperken.”

By this time the widow had received a fresh supply of linen from Babette; and as soon as she had put it on she rose from the bed, the fractured state of which again called forth her indignation.

“Thirty-two years have I had this bed, wedded and single, Babette!” exclaimed the widow. “For sixteen years did I sleep on that bed with the lamented Mr Vandersloosh—for sixteen years have I slept in it, a lone widow—but never till now did it break down. How am I to sleep to-night? What am I to do, Babette?”

“’Twas well it did break down, ma’am,” replied Babette, who was smoothing down the jagged skin at her ankles; “or we should never have got the nasty biting brute out of the house.”

“Very well—very well. Yes, yes, Mr Vanslyperken—marriage, indeed, I’d as soon marry his cur.”

“Mein Gott!” exclaimed Babette. “I think, madam, if you did marry, you would soon find the master as cross as the dog; but I must make this bed.”

Babette proceeded to examine the mischief, and found that it was only the cords which tied the sacking which had given way, and considering that they had done their office for thirty-two years and the strain which had been put upon them after so long a period, there was not munch to complain of. A new cord was procured, and, in a quarter of an hour, all was right again; and the widow, who had sat in the chair fuming and blowing off her steam, as soon as Babette had turned down the bed turned in again, muttering, “Yes, yes, Mr Vanslyperken—marriage indeed. Well, well, we shall see. Stop till to-morrow, Mr Vanslyperken;” and as Babette has closed the curtains, so will we close this chapter.

Chapter Twelve.In which Resolutions are entered into in all Quarters, and Jemmy Ducks is accused of Mutiny for singing a Song in a Snow-Storm.What were the adventures of Snarleyyow after this awkward interference with his master’s speculations upon the widow, until he jumped into the beef boat to go on board of the cutter, are lost for ever; but it is to be supposed that he could not have remained the whole night without making himself disagreeable in some quarter or another. But, as we before observed, we know nothing about it; and, therefore, may be excused if we do not tell.The widow Vandersloosh slept but little that night: her soul was full of vengeance; but although smarting with the imprints of the our’s teeth, still she had an eye to business; the Custom of the crew of the cutter was not to be despised, and, as she thought of this, she gradually cooled down. It was not till four o’clock in the morning that she came to her decision; and it was a very prudent one, which was to demand the dead body of the dog to be laid at her door before Mr Vanslyperken should be allowed admittance. This was her right, and if he was sincere, he would not refuse; if he did refuse, it was not at all clear that she should lose the custom of the seamen, over the major part of whom Vanslyperken then appeared to have very little control; and all of whom, she knew, detested him most cordially, as well as his dog. After which resolution the widow Vandersloosh fell fast asleep.But we must return on board, where there was almost as much confusion as there had been on shore. The reappearance of Snarleyyow was considered supernatural, for Smallbones had distinctly told in what manner he had tied him up in the bread-bags, and thrown him into the canal. Whisperings and murmurings were heard all round the cutter’s decks. Obadiah Coble shrugged up his shoulders, as he took an extra quid.—Dick Short walked about with lips compressed, more taciturn than ever—Jansen shook his head, muttering, “Te tog is no tog.”—Bill Spurey had to repeat to the ship’s company the legend of his coming on board over and over again. The only persons who appeared not to have lost their courage were Jemmy Ducks and poor Smallbones, who had been put in his hammock to recover him from his refrigeration. The former said, “that if they were to sail with the devil, it could not be helped, pay and prize-money would still go on;” and the latter, who had quite recovered his self-possession, “vowed that dog or devil, he would never cease his attempts to destroy him—if he was the devil, or one of his imps, it was his duty as a Christian to oppose him, and he had no chance of better treatment if he were to remain quiet.” The snow-storm continued, and the men remained below, all but Jemmy Ducks, who leaned against the lee side of the cutter’s mast, and as the snow fell, sang, to a slow air, the following ditty, it probably being called to his recollection by the state of the weather.’Twas at the landing-place that’s just below Mount Wyse,Poll lean’d against the sentry’s box, a tear in both her eyes;Her apron twisted round her arms, all for to keep them warm,Being a windy Christmas-day, and also a snow-storm.And Bet and SueBoth stood there too,A shivering by her side,They both were dumb,And both look’d glum,As they watch’d the ebbing tide.Poll put her arms a-kimbo,At the admiral’s house look’d she,To thoughts before in limbo,She now a vent gave free.You have sent the ship in a gale to work,On a lee shore to be jamm’d,I’ll give you a piece of my mind, old Turk,Port Admiral, you be damned.Chorus.—We’ll give you a piece of our mind, old Turk,Port Admiral, you be damned.Who ever heard in the sarvice of a frigate made to sailOn Christmas-day, it blowing hard, with sleet, and snow, and hail?I wish I had the fishing of your back that is so bent,I’d use the galley poker hot unto your heart’s content.Here Bet and SueAre with me too,A shivering by my side,They both are dumb,And both look glum,And watch the ebbing tide.Poll put her arms a-kimbo,At the admiral’s house look’d she,To thoughts that were in limbo,She now a vent gave free.You’ve got a roaring fire I’ll bet,In it your toes are jamm’d:Let’s give him a piece of our mind, my Bet,Port Admiral, you be damned.Chorus.—Let’s give him a piece of our mind, my Bet,Port Admiral, you be damned.I had the flour and plums all pick’d, and suet all chopp’d fine,To mix into a pudding rich for all the mess to dine;I pawn’d my ear-rings for the beef, it weigh’d at least a stone,Now my fancy man is sent to sea, and I am left alone.Here’s Bet and SueWho stand here too,A shivering by my side;They both are dumb,They both look glum,And watch the ebbing tide.Poll put her arms a-kimbo,At the admiral’s house look’d she,To thoughts that were in limbo,She now a vent gave free.You’ve got a turkey, I’ll be bound,With which you will be cramm’d;I’ll give you a bit of my mind, old hound,Port Admiral, you be damned.Chorus.—I’ll give you a bit of my mind, old hound,Port Admiral, you be damned.I’m sure that in this weather they cannot cook their meat,To eat it raw on Christmas-day will be a pleasant treat;But let us all go home, girls; it’s no use waiting here,We’ll hope that Christmas-day to come they will have better cheer.So, Bet and Sue,Don’t stand here too,A shivering by my side;Don’t keep so dumb,Don’t look so glum,Nor watch the ebbing tide.Poll put her arms a-kimbo,At the admiral’s house look’d she,To thoughts that were in limbo,She now a vent gave free.So while they cut their raw salt junks,With dainties you’ll be cramm’d;Here’s once for all my mind, old hunks,Port Admiral, you be damned.Chorus.—So once for all our mind, old hunks,Port Admiral, you be damned.“Mein Gott! but dat is rank mutiny, Mynheer Shemmy Tucks,” observed Corporal Van Spitter, who had come upon the deck unperceived by Jemmy, and had listened to the song.“Mutiny, is it?” replied Jemmy; “and report this also—“I’ll give you a bit of my mind, fat thief;You, corporal, may be damned.”“Dat is better and better—I mean to say, worser and worser,” replied the corporal.“Take care I don’t pitch you overboard,” replied Jemmy, in wrath.“Pat is most worse still,” said the corporal, stalking aft, and leaving Jemmy Ducks to follow up the train of his own thoughts.Jemmy, who had been roused by the corporal, and felt the snow insinuating itself into the nape of his neck, thought he might as well go down below.The corporal made his report, and Mr Vanslyperken made his comments, but he did no more, for he was aware that a mere trifle would cause a general mutiny. The recovery of Snarleyyow consoled him, and little thinking what had been the events of the preceding night, he thought he might as well prove his devotion to the widow, by paying his respects in a snow-storm—but not in the attire of the day before—Mr Vanslyperken was too economical for that; so he remained in his loose thread-bare great-coat and foul-weather hat. Having first locked up his dog in the cabin, and entrusted the key to the corporal, he went on shore, and presented himself at the widow’s door, which was opened by Babette, who with her person barred entrance: she did not wait for Vanslyperken to speak first.“Mynheer Vanslyperken, you can’t come in. Frau Vandersloosh is very ill in bed—the doctor says it’s a bad case—she cannot be seen.”“Ill!” exclaimed Vanslyperken; “your dear, charming mistress ill! Good heavens! what is the matter, my dear Babette?” replied Vanslyperken, with all the pretended interest of a devoted lover.“All through you, Mr Vanslyperken,” replied Babette.“Me!” exclaimed Vanslyperken.“Well, all through your nasty cur, which is the same thing.”“My dog! I little thought that he was left here,” replied the lieutenant; “but, Babette, let me in, if you please, for the snow falls fast, and—”“And you must not come in, Mr Vanslyperken,” replied Babette, pushing him back.“Good heavens! what is the matter?”Babette then narrated what had passed, and as she was very prolix, Mr Vanslyperken was a mass of snow on the windward side of him before she had finished, which she did, by pulling down her worsted stockings, and showing the wounds which she had received as her portion in the last night’s affray. Having thus given ocular evidence of the truth of what she had asserted, Babette then delivered the message of her mistress; to wit, “that until the dead body of Snarleyyow was laid at the porch where they now stood, he, Mr Vanslyperken, would never gain re-admission.” So saying, and not feeling it very pleasant to continue a conversation in a snow-storm, Babette very unceremoniously slammed the door in Mr Vanslyperken’s face, and left him to digest the communication with what appetite he might. Mr Vanslyperken, notwithstanding the cold weather, hastened from the door in a towering passion. The perspiration actually ran down his face, and mingled with the melting snow. “To be or not to be”—give up the widow or give up his darling Snarleyyow—a dog whom he loved the more, the more he was, through him, entangled in scrapes and vexations—a dog whom every one hated, and therefore he loved—a dog which had not a single recommendation, and therefore was highly prized—a dog assailed by all, and especially by that scarecrow Smallbones, to whom his death would be a victory—it was impossible. But then the widow—with such lots of guilders in the bank, and such a good income from the Lust Haus, he had long made up his mind to settle in possession. It was the haven which, in the vista of his mind, he had been so long, accustomed to dwell upon, and he could not give up the hope.Yet one must be sacrificed. No, he could part with neither. “I have it,” thought he; “I will make the widow believe that I have sacrificed the dog, and then, when I am once in possession, the dog shall come back again, and let her say a word if she dares: I’ll tame her, and pay her off for old scores.”Such was the determination of Mr Vanslyperken, as he walked back to the boat. His reverie was, however, broken by his breaking his nose against a lamp-post, which did not contribute to his good-humour. “Yes, yes, Frau Vandersloosh, we will see,” muttered Vanslyperken; “you would kill my dog, would you? It’s a dog’s life I’ll lead you when I’m once secure of you, Madame Vandersloosh. You cheated me out of my biscuit—we shall see;” and Mr Vanslyperken stepped into his boat and pulled on board.On his arrival he found that a messenger had come on board during his absence, with the letters of thanks from the king’s loving cousins, and with directions that he should return with them forthwith. This suited the views of Vanslyperken; he wrote a long letter to the widow, in which he expressed his willingness to sacrifice everything for her, not only to hang his dog, but to hang himself if she wished it—lamented his immediate orders for sailing, and hinted that, on his return, he ought to find her more favourable. The widow read the letter, and tossed it into the grate with a “Pish! I was not born yesterday, as the saying is,” cried the widow Vandersloosh.

What were the adventures of Snarleyyow after this awkward interference with his master’s speculations upon the widow, until he jumped into the beef boat to go on board of the cutter, are lost for ever; but it is to be supposed that he could not have remained the whole night without making himself disagreeable in some quarter or another. But, as we before observed, we know nothing about it; and, therefore, may be excused if we do not tell.

The widow Vandersloosh slept but little that night: her soul was full of vengeance; but although smarting with the imprints of the our’s teeth, still she had an eye to business; the Custom of the crew of the cutter was not to be despised, and, as she thought of this, she gradually cooled down. It was not till four o’clock in the morning that she came to her decision; and it was a very prudent one, which was to demand the dead body of the dog to be laid at her door before Mr Vanslyperken should be allowed admittance. This was her right, and if he was sincere, he would not refuse; if he did refuse, it was not at all clear that she should lose the custom of the seamen, over the major part of whom Vanslyperken then appeared to have very little control; and all of whom, she knew, detested him most cordially, as well as his dog. After which resolution the widow Vandersloosh fell fast asleep.

But we must return on board, where there was almost as much confusion as there had been on shore. The reappearance of Snarleyyow was considered supernatural, for Smallbones had distinctly told in what manner he had tied him up in the bread-bags, and thrown him into the canal. Whisperings and murmurings were heard all round the cutter’s decks. Obadiah Coble shrugged up his shoulders, as he took an extra quid.—Dick Short walked about with lips compressed, more taciturn than ever—Jansen shook his head, muttering, “Te tog is no tog.”—Bill Spurey had to repeat to the ship’s company the legend of his coming on board over and over again. The only persons who appeared not to have lost their courage were Jemmy Ducks and poor Smallbones, who had been put in his hammock to recover him from his refrigeration. The former said, “that if they were to sail with the devil, it could not be helped, pay and prize-money would still go on;” and the latter, who had quite recovered his self-possession, “vowed that dog or devil, he would never cease his attempts to destroy him—if he was the devil, or one of his imps, it was his duty as a Christian to oppose him, and he had no chance of better treatment if he were to remain quiet.” The snow-storm continued, and the men remained below, all but Jemmy Ducks, who leaned against the lee side of the cutter’s mast, and as the snow fell, sang, to a slow air, the following ditty, it probably being called to his recollection by the state of the weather.

’Twas at the landing-place that’s just below Mount Wyse,Poll lean’d against the sentry’s box, a tear in both her eyes;Her apron twisted round her arms, all for to keep them warm,Being a windy Christmas-day, and also a snow-storm.And Bet and SueBoth stood there too,A shivering by her side,They both were dumb,And both look’d glum,As they watch’d the ebbing tide.Poll put her arms a-kimbo,At the admiral’s house look’d she,To thoughts before in limbo,She now a vent gave free.You have sent the ship in a gale to work,On a lee shore to be jamm’d,I’ll give you a piece of my mind, old Turk,Port Admiral, you be damned.Chorus.—We’ll give you a piece of our mind, old Turk,Port Admiral, you be damned.Who ever heard in the sarvice of a frigate made to sailOn Christmas-day, it blowing hard, with sleet, and snow, and hail?I wish I had the fishing of your back that is so bent,I’d use the galley poker hot unto your heart’s content.Here Bet and SueAre with me too,A shivering by my side,They both are dumb,And both look glum,And watch the ebbing tide.Poll put her arms a-kimbo,At the admiral’s house look’d she,To thoughts that were in limbo,She now a vent gave free.You’ve got a roaring fire I’ll bet,In it your toes are jamm’d:Let’s give him a piece of our mind, my Bet,Port Admiral, you be damned.Chorus.—Let’s give him a piece of our mind, my Bet,Port Admiral, you be damned.I had the flour and plums all pick’d, and suet all chopp’d fine,To mix into a pudding rich for all the mess to dine;I pawn’d my ear-rings for the beef, it weigh’d at least a stone,Now my fancy man is sent to sea, and I am left alone.Here’s Bet and SueWho stand here too,A shivering by my side;They both are dumb,They both look glum,And watch the ebbing tide.Poll put her arms a-kimbo,At the admiral’s house look’d she,To thoughts that were in limbo,She now a vent gave free.You’ve got a turkey, I’ll be bound,With which you will be cramm’d;I’ll give you a bit of my mind, old hound,Port Admiral, you be damned.Chorus.—I’ll give you a bit of my mind, old hound,Port Admiral, you be damned.I’m sure that in this weather they cannot cook their meat,To eat it raw on Christmas-day will be a pleasant treat;But let us all go home, girls; it’s no use waiting here,We’ll hope that Christmas-day to come they will have better cheer.So, Bet and Sue,Don’t stand here too,A shivering by my side;Don’t keep so dumb,Don’t look so glum,Nor watch the ebbing tide.Poll put her arms a-kimbo,At the admiral’s house look’d she,To thoughts that were in limbo,She now a vent gave free.So while they cut their raw salt junks,With dainties you’ll be cramm’d;Here’s once for all my mind, old hunks,Port Admiral, you be damned.Chorus.—So once for all our mind, old hunks,Port Admiral, you be damned.

“Mein Gott! but dat is rank mutiny, Mynheer Shemmy Tucks,” observed Corporal Van Spitter, who had come upon the deck unperceived by Jemmy, and had listened to the song.

“Mutiny, is it?” replied Jemmy; “and report this also—

“I’ll give you a bit of my mind, fat thief;You, corporal, may be damned.”

“Dat is better and better—I mean to say, worser and worser,” replied the corporal.

“Take care I don’t pitch you overboard,” replied Jemmy, in wrath.

“Pat is most worse still,” said the corporal, stalking aft, and leaving Jemmy Ducks to follow up the train of his own thoughts.

Jemmy, who had been roused by the corporal, and felt the snow insinuating itself into the nape of his neck, thought he might as well go down below.

The corporal made his report, and Mr Vanslyperken made his comments, but he did no more, for he was aware that a mere trifle would cause a general mutiny. The recovery of Snarleyyow consoled him, and little thinking what had been the events of the preceding night, he thought he might as well prove his devotion to the widow, by paying his respects in a snow-storm—but not in the attire of the day before—Mr Vanslyperken was too economical for that; so he remained in his loose thread-bare great-coat and foul-weather hat. Having first locked up his dog in the cabin, and entrusted the key to the corporal, he went on shore, and presented himself at the widow’s door, which was opened by Babette, who with her person barred entrance: she did not wait for Vanslyperken to speak first.

“Mynheer Vanslyperken, you can’t come in. Frau Vandersloosh is very ill in bed—the doctor says it’s a bad case—she cannot be seen.”

“Ill!” exclaimed Vanslyperken; “your dear, charming mistress ill! Good heavens! what is the matter, my dear Babette?” replied Vanslyperken, with all the pretended interest of a devoted lover.

“All through you, Mr Vanslyperken,” replied Babette.

“Me!” exclaimed Vanslyperken.

“Well, all through your nasty cur, which is the same thing.”

“My dog! I little thought that he was left here,” replied the lieutenant; “but, Babette, let me in, if you please, for the snow falls fast, and—”

“And you must not come in, Mr Vanslyperken,” replied Babette, pushing him back.

“Good heavens! what is the matter?”

Babette then narrated what had passed, and as she was very prolix, Mr Vanslyperken was a mass of snow on the windward side of him before she had finished, which she did, by pulling down her worsted stockings, and showing the wounds which she had received as her portion in the last night’s affray. Having thus given ocular evidence of the truth of what she had asserted, Babette then delivered the message of her mistress; to wit, “that until the dead body of Snarleyyow was laid at the porch where they now stood, he, Mr Vanslyperken, would never gain re-admission.” So saying, and not feeling it very pleasant to continue a conversation in a snow-storm, Babette very unceremoniously slammed the door in Mr Vanslyperken’s face, and left him to digest the communication with what appetite he might. Mr Vanslyperken, notwithstanding the cold weather, hastened from the door in a towering passion. The perspiration actually ran down his face, and mingled with the melting snow. “To be or not to be”—give up the widow or give up his darling Snarleyyow—a dog whom he loved the more, the more he was, through him, entangled in scrapes and vexations—a dog whom every one hated, and therefore he loved—a dog which had not a single recommendation, and therefore was highly prized—a dog assailed by all, and especially by that scarecrow Smallbones, to whom his death would be a victory—it was impossible. But then the widow—with such lots of guilders in the bank, and such a good income from the Lust Haus, he had long made up his mind to settle in possession. It was the haven which, in the vista of his mind, he had been so long, accustomed to dwell upon, and he could not give up the hope.

Yet one must be sacrificed. No, he could part with neither. “I have it,” thought he; “I will make the widow believe that I have sacrificed the dog, and then, when I am once in possession, the dog shall come back again, and let her say a word if she dares: I’ll tame her, and pay her off for old scores.”

Such was the determination of Mr Vanslyperken, as he walked back to the boat. His reverie was, however, broken by his breaking his nose against a lamp-post, which did not contribute to his good-humour. “Yes, yes, Frau Vandersloosh, we will see,” muttered Vanslyperken; “you would kill my dog, would you? It’s a dog’s life I’ll lead you when I’m once secure of you, Madame Vandersloosh. You cheated me out of my biscuit—we shall see;” and Mr Vanslyperken stepped into his boat and pulled on board.

On his arrival he found that a messenger had come on board during his absence, with the letters of thanks from the king’s loving cousins, and with directions that he should return with them forthwith. This suited the views of Vanslyperken; he wrote a long letter to the widow, in which he expressed his willingness to sacrifice everything for her, not only to hang his dog, but to hang himself if she wished it—lamented his immediate orders for sailing, and hinted that, on his return, he ought to find her more favourable. The widow read the letter, and tossed it into the grate with a “Pish! I was not born yesterday, as the saying is,” cried the widow Vandersloosh.

Chapter Thirteen.In which the Ship’s Company join in a Chorus, and the Corporal goes on a Cruise.Mr Vanslyperken is in his cabin, with Snarleyyow at his side, sitting upon his haunches, and looking in his master’s face, which wears an air of anxiety and discomfiture; the fact is, that Mr Vanslyperken is anything but content; he is angry with the widow, with the ship’s company, with the dog, and with himself; but his anger towards the dog is softened, for he feels that, if anything in this world loves him it is the dog—not that his affection is great, but as much as the dog’s nature will permit; and, at all events, if the animal’s attachment to him is not very strong, still he is certain that Snarleyyow hates everybody else. It is astonishing how powerful is the feeling that is derived from habit and association. Now that the life of his cur was demanded by one, and, as he was aware, sought for by many, Vanslyperken put a value upon him that was extraordinary. Snarleyyow had become a precious jewel in the eyes of his master, and what he suffered in anxiety and disappointment from the perverse disposition of the animal, only endeared him the more. “Yes, my poor dog,” apostrophised the lieutenant, “they would seek your life, nay, that hardhearted woman demands that you should be laid dead at her porch. All conspire against you, but be not afraid, my dog, your master will protect you against all.”Vanslyperken patted the animal on the head, which was not a little swelled from the blows received from the broom of Babette, and Snarleyyow rubbed his nose against his master’s trousers, and then raised himself up, by putting his paw upon his master’s knee. This brought the dog’s head more to the light, and Vanslyperken observed that one eye was swelled and closed. He examined it, and, to his horror, found that it had been beaten out by the broom of Babette. There was no doubt of it, and Mr Vanslyperken’s choler was extreme. “Now, may all the curses of ophthalmia seize the faggot,” cried the lieutenant; “I wish I had her here. My poor, poor dog!” and Vanslyperken kissed the os frontis of the cur, and what perhaps had never occurred since childhood, and, what nothing else could have brought about, Mr Vanslyperken wept—actually wept over an animal, which was not, from any qualification he possessed, worth the charges of the cord which would have hanged him. Surely the affections have sometimes a bent towards insanity.After a short time the lieutenant rang his bell, and ordered some warm water, to bathe the dog’s eye. Corporal Van Spitter, as Smallbones was in his hammock, answered the summons, and when he returned aft with the water, he made known to Mr Vanslyperken the mutinous expressions of Jemmy Ducks. The lieutenant’s small eye twinkled with satisfaction. “Damned the Admiral, did he! which one was it—Portsmouth or Plymouth?”This Corporal Van Spitter could not tell: but it was certain that Jemmy had damned his superior officer; “And moreover,” continued the corporal, “he damned me.” Now Mr Vanslyperken had a great hatred against Jemmy Ducks, because he amused the ship’s company, and he never could forgive anyone who made people happy; moreover, he wanted some object to visit his wrath upon: so he asked a few more questions, and then dismissed the corporal, put on his tarpaulin hat, put his speaking-trumpet under his arm, and went on deck, directing the corporal to appoint one of the marines to continue to bathe the eye of his favourite.Mr Vanslyperken looked at the dog-vane, and perceived that the wind was foul for sailing, and moreover, it would be dark in two hours, so he determined upon not starting till the next morning, and then he thought that he would punish Jemmy Ducks; but the question occurred to him whether he could do so or not. Was James Salisbury a boatswain by right or not? He received only the pay of a boatswain’s mate, but he was styled boatswain on the books. It was a nice point, and the balance was even. Mr Vanslyperken’s own wishes turned the scale, and he resolved to flog Jemmy Ducks if he could. We say, if he could; for as, at that time tyrannical oppression on the part of the superiors was winked at, and no complaints were listened to by the Admiralty, insubordination which was the natural result, was equally difficult to get over; and although on board of the larger vessels, the strong arm of power was certain to conquer, it was not always the case in the smaller, where the superiors were not in sufficient force, or backed by a numerous party of soldiers or marines, for there was then little difference between the two services. Mr Vanslyperken had had more than one mutiny on board of the vessels which he had commanded, and, in one instance, his whole ship’s company had taken the boats and gone on shore, leaving him by himself in the vessel, preferring to lose the pay due to them than to remain longer on board. They joined other ships in the service, and no notice was taken of their conduct by the authorities. Such was the state of half discipline at the period we speak of in the service of the king. The ships were, in every other point, equally badly fitted out and manned: peculation of every kind was carried to excess, and those who were in command thought more of their own interest than of anything else. Ship’s stores and provisions were constantly sold, and the want of the former was frequently the occasion of the loss of the vessel, and the sacrifice of the whole crew. Such maladministration is said to be the case even now in some of the continental navies. It is not until a long series of years have elapsed, that such regulations and arrangements as are at present so economically and beneficially administered to our navy can be fully established.Having settled the point so far, Mr Vanslyperken then proceeded to debate in his own mind whether he should flog Jemmy in harbour, or after he had sailed; and feeling that if there was any serious disturbance on the part of the men, they might quit the vessel if in harbour, he decided that he would wait until he had them in blue water. His thoughts then reverted to the widow, and, as he turned and turned again, he clenched his fists in his great-coat pockets, and was heard by those near him to grind his teeth.In the meantime, the news had been imparted by the marine, who came up into the galley for more warm water, that the dog had had one of his eyes put out, and it was strange the satisfaction which this intelligence appeared to give to the ship’s company. It was passed round like wildfire, and, when communicated, a beam of pleasure was soon apparent throughout the whole cutter, and for this simple reason, that the accident removed the fear rising from the supposition of the dog being supernatural, for the men argued, and with some reason, that if you could put out his eye you could kill him altogether; for if you could destroy a part you could destroy the whole. No one ever heard of the devil’s eye being put out—ergo, the dog could not be a devil, or one of his imps; so argued a knot of the men in conclave, and Jansen wound up by observing, “Dat de tog was only a tog after all.”Vanslyperken returned to his cabin and stated his intentions to his factotum and confidant, Corporal Van Spitter. Now, in this instance, the corporal did not adhere to that secrecy to which he was bound, and the only reason we can give is, that he had as great a dislike to Jemmy Ducks as his lieutenant—for the corporal obeyed orders so exactly that he considered it his duty not to have even an opinion or a feeling contrary to those of his superior officer. He was delighted at the idea of flogging Jemmy, and communicated the lieutenant’s intention to the most favoured of his marines, who also told the secret to another, and thus in five minutes it was known throughout the cutter, that as soon as they were in blue water the little boatswain was to be tied up for having damned the admiral in a snow-storm. The consequence was, as the evening was clear, that there was a very numerous assemblage upon the forecastle of the cutter Yungfrau.“Flog Jemmy!” said Bill Spurey. “Why, Jemmy’s a hofficer.”“To be sure he is,” observed another: “and quite as good a one as Vanslyperken himself, though he don’t wear brass on his hat.”“Damn it—what next—heh, Coble?”Coble hitched up his trousers. “It’s my opinion he’ll be for flogging us next, Short,” said the old man.“Yes,” replied Short.“Shall we allow Jemmy to be flogged?”“No,” replied Short.“If it warn’t for them ere marines, and the lumpy beggar of a corporal,” observed one of the seamen.“Pish,” quoth Jemmy, who was standing among them.“Won’t he make it out mutiny?” observed Spurey.“Mein Gott! it was mutiny to flog de officer,” said Jansen.“That’s very true,” observed another.“But Jemmy can’t stand against the fat corporal and the six marines,” observed Bill Spurey.“One up and t’other down, I’ll take them all,” observed Jemmy, expanding his chest.“Yes, but they’ll all be down upon you at once, Jemmy.”“If they lays their hands upon an officer,” observed Coble, “it will be mutiny; and then Jemmy calls in the ship’s company to protect him.”“Exactly,” observed Jemmy.“And den, mein Gott, I zettle for de corporal,” observed Jansen.“I’ll play him a trick yet.”“But now, it’s no use palavering,” observed Spurey; “let’s come to some settlement. Obadiah, give us your opinion as to what’s best to be done.”Hereupon Coble squirted out a modicum of ’baccy juice, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and said, “It’s my opinion, that the best way of getting one man out of a scrape, is to get all the rest in it. Jemmy, d’ye see, is to be hauled up for singing an old song, in which a wench very properly damns the admiral for sending a ship out on a Christmas Day, which, let alone the unchristian-like act, as you may know, my lads, always turns up on a Friday, a day on which nothing but being blown out from your anchors can warrant any vessel sailing on. Now, d’ye see, it may be mutiny to damn a live admiral, with his flag hoisted—I won’t say but what it is—but this here admiral as Jemmy damned, is no more alive than a stock fish; and, moreover, it is not Jemmy as damns him, but Poll; therefore it can be no mutiny. Now what I consider best is this, if so be it be against the articles—well, then, let’s all be in for it together, and then Vanslyperken will be puzzled, and, moreover, it will give him a hint how matters stand, and he may think better of it; for, although we must not have Jemmy touched, still, it’s quite as well not to have a regular breeze with the jollies; for if so be that the Scarborough, or any other king’s ship, be in port when we arrive, Vanslyperken may run under the guns, and then whip the whole boiling of us off to the Ingies, and glad to get us, too, and that’s no joke. Now, that’s my idea of the matter.”“Well, but you’ve not told us how we are to get into it, Coble.”“More I have—well, that’s funny: left out the whole burden of my song. Why, I consider that we had better now directly sing the song over again, all in chorus, and then we shall have damned the admiral a dozen times over; and Vanslyperken will hear us, and say to himself, ‘They don’t sing that song for nothing.’ What do you say, Dick Short, you’re first hofficer?”“Yes,” replied Short.“Hurrah! my lads, then,” cried Bill Spurey; “now, then, strike up, Jemmy, and let us give it lots of mouth.”The song which our readers have already heard from the lips of Jemmy Ducks was then sung by the whole of the men,con animo e strepito, and two verses had been roared out, when Corporal Van Spitter, in great agitation, presented himself at the cabin-door, where he found Mr Vanslyperken very busy summing up his accounts.“Mein Gott, sar! dere is the mutiny in the Yungfrau,” cried the corporal.“Mutiny!” cried Vanslyperken, catching at his sword, which hung up on the bulk-head.“Yaw, mynheer—de mutiny—hear now de ship’s company.”Vanslyperken lent his ears, when the astounding chorus came rolling aft through the door of the cabin—I’ll give you a bit of my mind, old hunks;Port admiral—you be damned.“Bow, wow, wow,” barked Snarleyyow.“Why, it’s the whole ship’s company!” cried Vanslyperken.“All but de Corporal Van Spitter, and de six marines,” replied the corporal, raising his hand up to his headà la militaire.“Shut the door, corporal. This is indeed mutiny and defiance,” cried Vanslyperken, jumping up from his chair.“It is one tyfel of a song,” replied the corporal.“I must find out the ringleaders, corporal; do you think that you could contrive to overhear what they say after the song is over? they will be consulting together, and we may find out something.”“Mynheer, I’m not very small for to creep in and listen,” replied the corporal, casting his eyes down upon his huge carcase.“Are they all forward?” inquired the lieutenant.“Yes, mynheer; not one soul baft.”“There is the small boat astern; do you think you could get softly into it, haul it up to the bows, and lie there quite still? You would then hear what they said, without their thinking of it, now that it is dark.”“I will try, mynheer,” replied the corporal, who quitted the cabin.But there were others who condescended to listen as well as the corporal, and in this instance every word which had passed had been overheard by Smallbones, who had been for some hours out of his hammock. When the corporal’s hand touched the lock of the door, Smallbones made a hasty retreat.Corporal Van Spitter went on the quarter-deck, which he found vacant; he hauled up the boat to the counter, and, by degrees, lowered into it his unwieldy carcase, which almost swamped the little conveyance. He then waited a little, and with difficulty forced the boat up against the strong flood-tide that was running, till at last he gained the chess-tree of the cutter, when he shortened in the painter (or rope that held the boat), made it fast to a ring-bolt without being perceived, and there he lay concealed, not daring to move, for fear of making a noise.Smallbones had, however, watched him carefully, and as the corporal sat in the middle thwart, with his face turned aft, catching but imperfectly the conversation of the men, the lad separated the painter with a sharp knife, and at the same time dropping his foot down, gave the bow of the boat a shove off, which made it round with the stream. The tide was then running five or six miles an hour, and before the corporal, in the utter darkness, could make out what had occurred, or raise his heavy carcase to assist himself, he was whirled away by the current clear of the vessel, and soon disappeared from the sight of Smallbones, who was watching his progress.It is true that the corporal shouted for assistance when he found himself astern, and also that he was heard by the men, but Smallbones had leaped among them, and in few words told them what he had done; so of course they took no notice, but rubbed their hands with delight at the idea of the corporal being adrift like a bear in a washing-tub, and they all prayed for a gale of wind to come on that he might be swamped, and most of them remained on deck to hear what Mr Vanslyperken would say and do when the corporal’s absence was discovered. Mr Vanslyperken remained nearly two hours without sending for the corporal; at last, surprised at not seeing him return, he went on deck. The men on the forecastle perceiving this, immediately disappeared gently down the fore-hatchway. Mr Vanslyperken walked forward, and found that every one was, as he supposed, either in bed or below; for, in harbour, the corporal kept one of the watches, and this night it was his first watch. Vanslyperken looked over the side all round the cutter, and could see no boat and no Corporal Van Spitter, and it immediately occurred to him that the corporal must have gone adrift, and he was very much puzzled how to act. It would be flood-tide for two hours more, and then the whole ebb would run before it was daylight. Corporal Van Spitter would traverse the whole Zuyder Zee before they might find him. Unless he had the fortune to be picked up by some small craft, he might perish with cold and hunger. He could not sail without him; for what could he do without Corporal Van Spitter, his protection, his factotum, his distributor of provisions, etcetera. The loss was irreparable, and Mr Vanslyperken, when he thought of the loss of the widow’s favour, and the loss of his favourite, acknowledged with bitterness that his star was not in the ascendant. After some reflection, Mr Vanslyperken thought that as nothing could be gained by making the fact known, the wisest thing that he could do was to go to bed and say nothing about it, leaving the whole of the ulterior proceedings until the loss of the boat should be reported to him in the morning. Having arranged this in his mind, Mr Vanslyperken took two or three turns more, and then went down and turned in.

Mr Vanslyperken is in his cabin, with Snarleyyow at his side, sitting upon his haunches, and looking in his master’s face, which wears an air of anxiety and discomfiture; the fact is, that Mr Vanslyperken is anything but content; he is angry with the widow, with the ship’s company, with the dog, and with himself; but his anger towards the dog is softened, for he feels that, if anything in this world loves him it is the dog—not that his affection is great, but as much as the dog’s nature will permit; and, at all events, if the animal’s attachment to him is not very strong, still he is certain that Snarleyyow hates everybody else. It is astonishing how powerful is the feeling that is derived from habit and association. Now that the life of his cur was demanded by one, and, as he was aware, sought for by many, Vanslyperken put a value upon him that was extraordinary. Snarleyyow had become a precious jewel in the eyes of his master, and what he suffered in anxiety and disappointment from the perverse disposition of the animal, only endeared him the more. “Yes, my poor dog,” apostrophised the lieutenant, “they would seek your life, nay, that hardhearted woman demands that you should be laid dead at her porch. All conspire against you, but be not afraid, my dog, your master will protect you against all.”

Vanslyperken patted the animal on the head, which was not a little swelled from the blows received from the broom of Babette, and Snarleyyow rubbed his nose against his master’s trousers, and then raised himself up, by putting his paw upon his master’s knee. This brought the dog’s head more to the light, and Vanslyperken observed that one eye was swelled and closed. He examined it, and, to his horror, found that it had been beaten out by the broom of Babette. There was no doubt of it, and Mr Vanslyperken’s choler was extreme. “Now, may all the curses of ophthalmia seize the faggot,” cried the lieutenant; “I wish I had her here. My poor, poor dog!” and Vanslyperken kissed the os frontis of the cur, and what perhaps had never occurred since childhood, and, what nothing else could have brought about, Mr Vanslyperken wept—actually wept over an animal, which was not, from any qualification he possessed, worth the charges of the cord which would have hanged him. Surely the affections have sometimes a bent towards insanity.

After a short time the lieutenant rang his bell, and ordered some warm water, to bathe the dog’s eye. Corporal Van Spitter, as Smallbones was in his hammock, answered the summons, and when he returned aft with the water, he made known to Mr Vanslyperken the mutinous expressions of Jemmy Ducks. The lieutenant’s small eye twinkled with satisfaction. “Damned the Admiral, did he! which one was it—Portsmouth or Plymouth?”

This Corporal Van Spitter could not tell: but it was certain that Jemmy had damned his superior officer; “And moreover,” continued the corporal, “he damned me.” Now Mr Vanslyperken had a great hatred against Jemmy Ducks, because he amused the ship’s company, and he never could forgive anyone who made people happy; moreover, he wanted some object to visit his wrath upon: so he asked a few more questions, and then dismissed the corporal, put on his tarpaulin hat, put his speaking-trumpet under his arm, and went on deck, directing the corporal to appoint one of the marines to continue to bathe the eye of his favourite.

Mr Vanslyperken looked at the dog-vane, and perceived that the wind was foul for sailing, and moreover, it would be dark in two hours, so he determined upon not starting till the next morning, and then he thought that he would punish Jemmy Ducks; but the question occurred to him whether he could do so or not. Was James Salisbury a boatswain by right or not? He received only the pay of a boatswain’s mate, but he was styled boatswain on the books. It was a nice point, and the balance was even. Mr Vanslyperken’s own wishes turned the scale, and he resolved to flog Jemmy Ducks if he could. We say, if he could; for as, at that time tyrannical oppression on the part of the superiors was winked at, and no complaints were listened to by the Admiralty, insubordination which was the natural result, was equally difficult to get over; and although on board of the larger vessels, the strong arm of power was certain to conquer, it was not always the case in the smaller, where the superiors were not in sufficient force, or backed by a numerous party of soldiers or marines, for there was then little difference between the two services. Mr Vanslyperken had had more than one mutiny on board of the vessels which he had commanded, and, in one instance, his whole ship’s company had taken the boats and gone on shore, leaving him by himself in the vessel, preferring to lose the pay due to them than to remain longer on board. They joined other ships in the service, and no notice was taken of their conduct by the authorities. Such was the state of half discipline at the period we speak of in the service of the king. The ships were, in every other point, equally badly fitted out and manned: peculation of every kind was carried to excess, and those who were in command thought more of their own interest than of anything else. Ship’s stores and provisions were constantly sold, and the want of the former was frequently the occasion of the loss of the vessel, and the sacrifice of the whole crew. Such maladministration is said to be the case even now in some of the continental navies. It is not until a long series of years have elapsed, that such regulations and arrangements as are at present so economically and beneficially administered to our navy can be fully established.

Having settled the point so far, Mr Vanslyperken then proceeded to debate in his own mind whether he should flog Jemmy in harbour, or after he had sailed; and feeling that if there was any serious disturbance on the part of the men, they might quit the vessel if in harbour, he decided that he would wait until he had them in blue water. His thoughts then reverted to the widow, and, as he turned and turned again, he clenched his fists in his great-coat pockets, and was heard by those near him to grind his teeth.

In the meantime, the news had been imparted by the marine, who came up into the galley for more warm water, that the dog had had one of his eyes put out, and it was strange the satisfaction which this intelligence appeared to give to the ship’s company. It was passed round like wildfire, and, when communicated, a beam of pleasure was soon apparent throughout the whole cutter, and for this simple reason, that the accident removed the fear rising from the supposition of the dog being supernatural, for the men argued, and with some reason, that if you could put out his eye you could kill him altogether; for if you could destroy a part you could destroy the whole. No one ever heard of the devil’s eye being put out—ergo, the dog could not be a devil, or one of his imps; so argued a knot of the men in conclave, and Jansen wound up by observing, “Dat de tog was only a tog after all.”

Vanslyperken returned to his cabin and stated his intentions to his factotum and confidant, Corporal Van Spitter. Now, in this instance, the corporal did not adhere to that secrecy to which he was bound, and the only reason we can give is, that he had as great a dislike to Jemmy Ducks as his lieutenant—for the corporal obeyed orders so exactly that he considered it his duty not to have even an opinion or a feeling contrary to those of his superior officer. He was delighted at the idea of flogging Jemmy, and communicated the lieutenant’s intention to the most favoured of his marines, who also told the secret to another, and thus in five minutes it was known throughout the cutter, that as soon as they were in blue water the little boatswain was to be tied up for having damned the admiral in a snow-storm. The consequence was, as the evening was clear, that there was a very numerous assemblage upon the forecastle of the cutter Yungfrau.

“Flog Jemmy!” said Bill Spurey. “Why, Jemmy’s a hofficer.”

“To be sure he is,” observed another: “and quite as good a one as Vanslyperken himself, though he don’t wear brass on his hat.”

“Damn it—what next—heh, Coble?”

Coble hitched up his trousers. “It’s my opinion he’ll be for flogging us next, Short,” said the old man.

“Yes,” replied Short.

“Shall we allow Jemmy to be flogged?”

“No,” replied Short.

“If it warn’t for them ere marines, and the lumpy beggar of a corporal,” observed one of the seamen.

“Pish,” quoth Jemmy, who was standing among them.

“Won’t he make it out mutiny?” observed Spurey.

“Mein Gott! it was mutiny to flog de officer,” said Jansen.

“That’s very true,” observed another.

“But Jemmy can’t stand against the fat corporal and the six marines,” observed Bill Spurey.

“One up and t’other down, I’ll take them all,” observed Jemmy, expanding his chest.

“Yes, but they’ll all be down upon you at once, Jemmy.”

“If they lays their hands upon an officer,” observed Coble, “it will be mutiny; and then Jemmy calls in the ship’s company to protect him.”

“Exactly,” observed Jemmy.

“And den, mein Gott, I zettle for de corporal,” observed Jansen.

“I’ll play him a trick yet.”

“But now, it’s no use palavering,” observed Spurey; “let’s come to some settlement. Obadiah, give us your opinion as to what’s best to be done.”

Hereupon Coble squirted out a modicum of ’baccy juice, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and said, “It’s my opinion, that the best way of getting one man out of a scrape, is to get all the rest in it. Jemmy, d’ye see, is to be hauled up for singing an old song, in which a wench very properly damns the admiral for sending a ship out on a Christmas Day, which, let alone the unchristian-like act, as you may know, my lads, always turns up on a Friday, a day on which nothing but being blown out from your anchors can warrant any vessel sailing on. Now, d’ye see, it may be mutiny to damn a live admiral, with his flag hoisted—I won’t say but what it is—but this here admiral as Jemmy damned, is no more alive than a stock fish; and, moreover, it is not Jemmy as damns him, but Poll; therefore it can be no mutiny. Now what I consider best is this, if so be it be against the articles—well, then, let’s all be in for it together, and then Vanslyperken will be puzzled, and, moreover, it will give him a hint how matters stand, and he may think better of it; for, although we must not have Jemmy touched, still, it’s quite as well not to have a regular breeze with the jollies; for if so be that the Scarborough, or any other king’s ship, be in port when we arrive, Vanslyperken may run under the guns, and then whip the whole boiling of us off to the Ingies, and glad to get us, too, and that’s no joke. Now, that’s my idea of the matter.”

“Well, but you’ve not told us how we are to get into it, Coble.”

“More I have—well, that’s funny: left out the whole burden of my song. Why, I consider that we had better now directly sing the song over again, all in chorus, and then we shall have damned the admiral a dozen times over; and Vanslyperken will hear us, and say to himself, ‘They don’t sing that song for nothing.’ What do you say, Dick Short, you’re first hofficer?”

“Yes,” replied Short.

“Hurrah! my lads, then,” cried Bill Spurey; “now, then, strike up, Jemmy, and let us give it lots of mouth.”

The song which our readers have already heard from the lips of Jemmy Ducks was then sung by the whole of the men,con animo e strepito, and two verses had been roared out, when Corporal Van Spitter, in great agitation, presented himself at the cabin-door, where he found Mr Vanslyperken very busy summing up his accounts.

“Mein Gott, sar! dere is the mutiny in the Yungfrau,” cried the corporal.

“Mutiny!” cried Vanslyperken, catching at his sword, which hung up on the bulk-head.

“Yaw, mynheer—de mutiny—hear now de ship’s company.”

Vanslyperken lent his ears, when the astounding chorus came rolling aft through the door of the cabin—

I’ll give you a bit of my mind, old hunks;Port admiral—you be damned.

“Bow, wow, wow,” barked Snarleyyow.

“Why, it’s the whole ship’s company!” cried Vanslyperken.

“All but de Corporal Van Spitter, and de six marines,” replied the corporal, raising his hand up to his headà la militaire.

“Shut the door, corporal. This is indeed mutiny and defiance,” cried Vanslyperken, jumping up from his chair.

“It is one tyfel of a song,” replied the corporal.

“I must find out the ringleaders, corporal; do you think that you could contrive to overhear what they say after the song is over? they will be consulting together, and we may find out something.”

“Mynheer, I’m not very small for to creep in and listen,” replied the corporal, casting his eyes down upon his huge carcase.

“Are they all forward?” inquired the lieutenant.

“Yes, mynheer; not one soul baft.”

“There is the small boat astern; do you think you could get softly into it, haul it up to the bows, and lie there quite still? You would then hear what they said, without their thinking of it, now that it is dark.”

“I will try, mynheer,” replied the corporal, who quitted the cabin.

But there were others who condescended to listen as well as the corporal, and in this instance every word which had passed had been overheard by Smallbones, who had been for some hours out of his hammock. When the corporal’s hand touched the lock of the door, Smallbones made a hasty retreat.

Corporal Van Spitter went on the quarter-deck, which he found vacant; he hauled up the boat to the counter, and, by degrees, lowered into it his unwieldy carcase, which almost swamped the little conveyance. He then waited a little, and with difficulty forced the boat up against the strong flood-tide that was running, till at last he gained the chess-tree of the cutter, when he shortened in the painter (or rope that held the boat), made it fast to a ring-bolt without being perceived, and there he lay concealed, not daring to move, for fear of making a noise.

Smallbones had, however, watched him carefully, and as the corporal sat in the middle thwart, with his face turned aft, catching but imperfectly the conversation of the men, the lad separated the painter with a sharp knife, and at the same time dropping his foot down, gave the bow of the boat a shove off, which made it round with the stream. The tide was then running five or six miles an hour, and before the corporal, in the utter darkness, could make out what had occurred, or raise his heavy carcase to assist himself, he was whirled away by the current clear of the vessel, and soon disappeared from the sight of Smallbones, who was watching his progress.

It is true that the corporal shouted for assistance when he found himself astern, and also that he was heard by the men, but Smallbones had leaped among them, and in few words told them what he had done; so of course they took no notice, but rubbed their hands with delight at the idea of the corporal being adrift like a bear in a washing-tub, and they all prayed for a gale of wind to come on that he might be swamped, and most of them remained on deck to hear what Mr Vanslyperken would say and do when the corporal’s absence was discovered. Mr Vanslyperken remained nearly two hours without sending for the corporal; at last, surprised at not seeing him return, he went on deck. The men on the forecastle perceiving this, immediately disappeared gently down the fore-hatchway. Mr Vanslyperken walked forward, and found that every one was, as he supposed, either in bed or below; for, in harbour, the corporal kept one of the watches, and this night it was his first watch. Vanslyperken looked over the side all round the cutter, and could see no boat and no Corporal Van Spitter, and it immediately occurred to him that the corporal must have gone adrift, and he was very much puzzled how to act. It would be flood-tide for two hours more, and then the whole ebb would run before it was daylight. Corporal Van Spitter would traverse the whole Zuyder Zee before they might find him. Unless he had the fortune to be picked up by some small craft, he might perish with cold and hunger. He could not sail without him; for what could he do without Corporal Van Spitter, his protection, his factotum, his distributor of provisions, etcetera. The loss was irreparable, and Mr Vanslyperken, when he thought of the loss of the widow’s favour, and the loss of his favourite, acknowledged with bitterness that his star was not in the ascendant. After some reflection, Mr Vanslyperken thought that as nothing could be gained by making the fact known, the wisest thing that he could do was to go to bed and say nothing about it, leaving the whole of the ulterior proceedings until the loss of the boat should be reported to him in the morning. Having arranged this in his mind, Mr Vanslyperken took two or three turns more, and then went down and turned in.

Back to Index Next