These occasions usually capture more men than any other daytime gathering. They attend in Prince Albert (frock) coat, neat scarf, faultless gloves, perfect-fitting shoes, and unexceptionable hat. They need not remain long, they need not talk much, and they are sure to find some few that they recognize; and besides, in the best society, the theory of non-introduction gives each person the privilege of conversing with anyone present. Yet, hostesses who are strong in their social positions are not afraid to introduce people who meet under their roof, or to express pleasure that you took the time to call. Such a hostess brightens and warms the atmosphere, and the busy, tired man, who does not usually enjoy such affairs, will enjoy coming to her house and will come again.
When the drawing-room is crowded it is possible to leave without saying adieu to the hostess, and good form does not necessitate the hostess to ask anyone to call again.
A convenience that any victim of the afternoon tea will appreciate is a tray or elongated saucer, oval in shape. At one end is a rest made of gold wire, in which the cup stands. The other is quitelarge enough to allow of serving sandwiches, biscuit, or even a bit of salad without burdening the guest with a second object to hold. The cup stands firm in its place. Not even the jostling common in a crowded room will displace it or endanger that breakage which so often follows a crush. The tray is easily held in one hand, and the other is free to handle fork or spoon without inconvenience of the smallest sort.
Pretty teapots for the five o'clock tea table are of rosewood in a pinkish brown and in the usual olive coloring. The handles of the lids are butterflies, and a butterfly is on the handle used for pouring. Some of these elegant little pots are overlaid with a tracery of silver. Teapots intended for Easter favors are of brown porcelain in the form of a chicken with the mouth doing duty for the spout.
These have been a great "fad," and while not quite so popular, are pretty enough to deserve mention. A table is too often confused in its arrangement of color on account of its changes of courses. This can be entirely done away with by adopting some simple color scheme. A luncheon, or tea, is easier to serve in this fashion because of its simpler menu.
Amber and white will harmonize with celery, salads, ices and other articles needed at a luncheon. The yellowish white, full of sunlight, harmonizes with amber and can be followed up to deepest bronze. Amber glasses, creamy damask, all the tints from white to bronze, can be used in the dishes. Apricots heaped on amber dishes, ices tinted in harmony, and a great mass of white roses for a center ornament, are appropriate.
Another beautiful effect is to do away with the cloth and let the polished wood of the table set the keynote of color. An oak table, with its rich yellows and browns and its lurking suggestions of green, would afford a color scheme with which all shades of amber, bronze and yellow would blend.Bon SilèneorMalmaisonroses would also be in harmony with the other decorations.
Miscellaneous Entertainments
COFFEES are so exactly like teas, with the exception that coffee is the reigning beverage, that extended description is unnecessary. The invitations are precisely the same as for teas, simply substituting the word, "Coffee," or "Kaffee Klatsch" in the corner of the card instead of "Tea." The German term, "Kaffee Klatsch," is frequently used. This, literally translated, would be "Coffee Chat" or "Gossip." The entertainment is of German origin, and was adopted to fit the fiction that the stronger sex, of whom the lateness of the hour captures many a willing or unwilling victim, do not revel in tea.
Chocolataire.
This is rather a new entertainment. Its novelty lies in the fact that the beverage served is chocolate, and that chocolate enters into all the refreshments served, such as chocolate wafers, etc. A chocolate lemonade will be a nice addition in hot weather, chocolate bon-bons being passed in dainty silver bon-bon baskets.
The cards are the same as for "Teas" and "Coffees," simply substituting the word "Chocolataire" or "Chocolate" in the left hand corner.
If this is used, as it sometimes is, for a church or charitable entertainment, cards are not issued, but it is simply announced through the usual channels as a "Chocolataire," and numerous other refreshments all containing chocolate in some form can be dispensed, chocolate ice cream, chocolate cake, etc.
Theater parties may be made into very elaborate entertainments, or they may be simple and quietly arranged. Ladies and families often give these parties as an easy method of repaying their social debts.
But the theater party is the entertainment, par excellence, dear to bachelor hosts, especially those who have no homes of their own to which they may invite guests, and wish to return some of the many courteous hospitalities of which they have been the recipients.
In one of these elaborate affairs the host first secures some popular lady to chaperon the party. Then he calls upon his florist, makes arrangements with some famous restaurant and pays a visit to the box-office of some theater where a new play is to be brought out in ten days or two weeks.
He then gives the invitations in person to the selected number of his lady friends, not less than six, not more than fifteen, explaining to the mothers who will chaperon the party and what gentlemen he has invited. These must number the same as his lady guests and will have been chosen from among the most eligible of his friends.
The rendezvous will be at the restaurant where dinner will be served at six o'clock. The young ladies attended by father, brother or a maid, come in carriages and the coachman is told at what hour to return. This is usually half past twelve or one o'clock.
The dinner will be served in a sumptuously decorated, private dining-room, and by eight o'clock the party areen routein carriages for the play. Each lady is first supplied with exquisite corsage and hand bouquets by an attentive maid.
Boxes are engaged at the theater, or in case of large parties, the front row of the balcony. Programs printed on scented satin are frequently placed in front of each chair and serve as souvenirs of the occasion. When the play is over the party returns in carriages to the same restaurant where an elegant supper is laid.
Frequently each lady finds costly souvenirs at her plate. Each gentleman acts as escort through the evening to whatever lady hehas been assigned by the host. At the appointed hour carriages call for the ladies and the gentlemen escort them thereto. If some male relative come, he does not accompany her home, but if it is the maid only, he is expected so to do.
The young ladies and gentlemen must call upon the chaperon within a few days and the host calls upon the mothers to express thanks for the pleasure of the daughter's attendance. The men invited must each call within three days upon the especial lady to whom they devoted their time during the evening, or if this is impossible, leave a card.
A simpler form of this entertainment is where the host calls upon each proposed guest, and if the invitation is accepted, leaves two entrance tickets, and one for some male relative who must accompany her. The party meet in the box, where the host and a lady chaperon greet them. After the theater supper is served at some fashionable resort, or perhaps at the home of some friend, where dancing occasionally follows the supper. After calls are expected.
These parties are sometimes given by a lady, when the invitations are sent by informal notes in her own name, and a six o'clock dinner laid in her own home precedes the opera. After the entertainment the guests return in carriages to the house where a little supper is served, and perhaps some dancing varies the program.
Occasionally this entertainment takes the form of a matinée party of ladies only, who adjourn at its close to the hostess's home for a supper.
When a gentleman invites a lady to the opera, he should tell her what part of the house they are to occupy. If it is a box she must at least wear a light opera cloak, even if she does not array herself in full evening dress. However, evening toilet, no bonnet and beautifully dressed hair, are the correct thing. At an opera matinée, elegant visiting dress and dainty bonnets are always worn. If a gentleman is to escort a lady to the opera in any of the public conveyances she must wear street toilet.
Picnics and excursions are delightful summer entertainments. But it is essential that whoever goes on a picnic should possess the power to find "sermons in stones, books in the running brooks, and good in everything;" know how to dress, know where to go, and above all, know what to carry to eat.
A very great variety of food should be avoided, also soft puddings and creamy mixtures of any sort, which persistently "leak out." Plain, substantial food, simple and well-cooked, should ever be chosen, with a few sweet and simple dainties to top off with. This can be divided up among the party by the one who is most executive, with the ladies to furnish the substantials and the gentlemen the beverages. The men assume the expenses of the boats or other conveyances.
Paraffine paper is indispensable in wrapping up the viands, which are much more wisely carried in boxes, than baskets, as the former can be thrown away, and the fewer the burdens on the home-coming the better. A rubber coat or mackintosh is also a necessity, for no matter how warm the day, there is a risk of sitting out in the woods on the bare ground. This can be easily managed in a shawl strap. It is best not to carry a tablecloth, but if something is preferred to spread upon the ground, a strip of enameled cloth is the most satisfactory thing, and whatever is spilled upon it can be easily cleaned off. Japanese napkins take the place of linen, and wooden plates, which can be thrown away, are most desirable, like those which the bakers use for pies.
There are several important items which must not be forgotten, and among them are hand-towels and soap, combs, hand-mirror, thread, needle and thimble, a corkscrew and a can opener.
There should be a clear understanding at the outset what eatables each one is to bring. One girl may promise to furnish a certain proportion of the rolls or sandwiches, and another, part of the cake.Others may promise cold or potted meats, sardines, stuffed eggs, Saratoga potatoes, olives, pickles, fruit, lemonade and cold coffee. Salad may easily be carried if the lettuce and chicken or lobster are arranged in a dish set in a basket, and the dressing contained in a wide-mouthed bottle or pickle jar. The best way to transport lemonade, if fresh water can be readily procured at the picnic grounds, is to take the lemon juice and sugar in a jar, adding the water after the party reach their destination. Apollinaris water is excellent for lemonade. The coffee and milk should have been put together before leaving home, but the sugar is carried separately.
To begin with the substantials, a cold roast, a boiled tongue, deviled eggs, are simple and tasty. The roast may be sliced off before going, and carefully wrapped up, but the tongue should be carried whole and cut up when required, or it is apt to become dry. The eggs are easily prepared, being hard boiled, cut lengthwise, the yolks taken out, mixed in a bowl with pepper, salt and mustard, and a few drops of Worcester and put back again in the whites.
Different kinds of sandwiches may be served. For one time there may be finger-rolls, split, the inside hollowed out and filled with chopped chicken or tongue, and the two sides tied together with the narrowest of ribbon. Again, bread and butter, cut wafer thin and rolled, may appear. Sweetbread sandwiches, sardine sandwiches, egg sandwiches, are delicious and easily prepared variations upon the everlasting ham and tongue. Very dainty sandwiches are made of two thicknesses of thin bread and butter, with a layer between of cream cheese and chopped water cress. The fruit should be heaped in a basket or arranged as a centerpiece with the flowers.
Ice cream may be taken to a picnic without much additional trouble. The brick molds can be so packed by a confectioner in a pail of ice that there will be no danger of the cream melting. For this, of course, wooden plates are not available, but china saucers will have to be transported. For the sweets some plain cake and bon-bons, and a box ofcrystallized ginger are all-sufficient. Cold tea, with lemon and ice, is certainly the most refreshing and satisfactory.
If more side dishes are preferred, there are olives, salted peanuts or pecans, gherkins, radishes or club-house cheese and wafers to choose from, and if berries in season are desired, they are best carried in a glass preserve jar.
If one person gives a picnic, she should expect to furnish all the food, the means of transportation for her guests, the plates, glasses, knives, forks and napkins—in short, to defray all the expenses of the trip. This is apt to prove a rather expensive proceeding, if there are many guests invited, but it is a very pretty style of entertaining for those whose means permit them to indulge in it. A "Basket Picnic" is a more general affair, where each member of the party supplies a quota of the provisions. Some one person undertakes the charge of the party, and invites such people to join it as she thinks would make it a success. The girls usually provide the refreshments.
It might seem needless to say that there should always be a chaperon on picnic parties if it were not that even in this day there appears, in some places, to be a lack of proper understanding of this subject. Dwellers in large cities see matters in a clearer light, and a young man who is thoroughly versed in points of etiquette will not think of inviting a young lady to accompany him to the theater without also requesting her mother or a married friend to join them. In the same manner he asks a chaperon to go with them when he escorts a young lady to a ball or party.
When a number of young people get off together, they are apt, without the least intention of impropriety, to let their spirits carry them away and lead them into absurdities they would never commit in a graver moment. If a chaperon is bright and cheery, sympathizing in the enjoyment of the young people, and avoiding making her presence a bar upon innocent gayety, she need be no drawback to the pleasure of the expedition. On the contrary, most young men andwomen will feel a security and sense of comfort from having some one along to take the responsibility of the conduct of the party that they could never know were there no chaperon present.
It is a good rule, if possible, to have an equal number of persons of each sex on a picnic. This is especially desirable if the party is to be on the water, in rowboats, where each boatload must be evenly divided. The hostess or projector of the party may arrange in whose escort each girl is to go, or this may be left to the young people themselves.
This is exclusively a girl's entertainment. A very pretty one was given to about twenty girl friends. The guests were invited in the afternoon from two until six o'clock. A large room had its furniture removed and in its stead were placed small tables, which contained trays holding marshmallow candies, skewers and lamps. The mallows were toasted and eaten after a little supper. Tables were spread prettily with white linen and decorated with flowers. The supper was arranged as follows:
Oyster Patties.Buttered Bread.Sandwiches.Salad with French Dressing.Assorted Cakes.Chocolate.Toasted Marshmallows.
The young girls had a delightful time and the entertainment was simple and inexpensive.
Roof parties are the very latest diversion which the girl who stays in town is enjoying. They are the very jolliest entertainments imaginable, and the best part of them is that one can go in any sort of an outing suit without feelingde trop. Even the dwellers in the big apartment houses are able to give these high-in-the-air festivals, and they have become very popular from the fact that they are so informal and delightfully novel.
If your roof is spacious and walled in by a high parapet so much the better, for, of course, one can always imagine danger if there be only a narrow coping about the edge.
Pick out a night when the clerk of the weather will be polite enough to give moon and stars and soft southern breezes. Then cover the surface of the roof with rugs or else stretch a matting over the tin. Improvise couches upon boxes covered with rugs, or bring up a couple of cots and pile cushions upon them.
Palms and plants placed about always add to the effect, and if you wish the place to look like a little bit of fairy land hang Chinese lanterns on strings stretched about the edge, and when they are lit they will look remarkably pretty. If the roof be provided with ledges between your own and your neighbors, the bricks can be spread with napkins and refreshments arranged thereon.
Almost any sort of menu is permissible, but salads, sandwiches, olives, ice cream and liquid refreshments of all kinds are always in order.
Bachelors who live in apartments are giving "Dutch" parties on roofs, and in those cases the refreshments consist of beer and ale served from the wood, rye bread and cheese sandwiches, sausages cooked in a chafing-dish and Rhine wine in the cup.
Roof parties can be so elaborate that they will cost quite as much as a more pretentious function, but they are more enjoyable when they are simply gotten up. One was given in a fashionable part of the city, and the aid of the caterer and the decorator had been utilized in such a manner as to produce the effect of a gorgeousal frescoreception. A gaily striped awning was stretched across the part of the roof where the edibles were spread upon a table loaded with flowers. A carpet was spread for a dance at one side with only the stars for a canopy. About the entire roof and reaching far up in a pyramid of light there were lanterns lit by electric lamps fastened within. There was a pleasant breeze blowing, and these many swaying colored lights produced a beautiful effect. Rich rugs carpeted the roof surface, and flags were draped about the high coping.
This party was given on the roof of a large hotel and was such a success that a number of similar ones were arranged for.
Another young girls' entertainment is a "flower party"—an appropriate name, as the writer once attended one where all the young ladies wore snowy gowns, each beautifully adorned with the wearer's favorite flower. A large silver salver filled with sprigs of flowers awaited the young men in the reception-hall, and upon his entrance each selected according to his fancy a flower from the waiter and sent it up the decorated staircase to find its mate and the young lady wearing the matching one met him on the landing, pinned his chosen flower to the lapel of his coat and became his partner for the evening.
With the bicycle comes the bicycle tea. In the large cities these teas have been given for charity and have been great successes. But there is no reason why any girl may not give an attractive bicycle tea and make it very original. Sandwiches in the shape of tennis rackets, with an olive steak in the center for a ball, are among the novelties. Sandwiches in the shape of a wheel and a saddle might easily be cut. Bicycle lanterns, which resemble glowworms, should furnish decoration. If possible, a bicycle tea should be given out of doors, where outing costumes would not be incongruous.
There is a big, red barn on a fine old farm, that is easily reached by city friends, and there, every year, is given an autumn revel in the shape of a genuine "barn dance." The mow is filled with sweet smelling hay and the cattle, stalled, are below. The big center floor is cleared and swept and reswept and chalked to make it fit for dancing feet. The decorations for the dance consume much time, and into them the hostess throws many a loving thought. Pumpkins form the chief theme. In flower-like or hideous forms as jack-o'-lanterns they hold posts of honor on rafter and beam.
The lanterns used are the regular farm lanterns, though the walkthrough the old-fashioned garden to the barn is outlined by the fancy Japanese lanterns. Ears of corn tied by fluttering ribbons, the husks turned back to show the golden ears, cornstalks, golden-rod, milkweed, woodbine and clusters of purple grapes are all worked into the decorations.
The young folks learn by previous experiences not to wear perishable finery at the barn dance, and the girls all come in pretty wash-dresses that will stand a good romp. Music is furnished by an old darkey fiddler, not violinist, who plays "Money Musk," "Fisher's Hornpipe," "Ole Dan Tucker" and any number of plantation melodies.
The supper, of course, is the best part of the dance to hungry city-bred people. Hot coffee is served in bright new tin-cups, for these young people mimic harvesters; there is fried chicken, cold ham, potato salad, rolls with golden country butter that melts in one's mouth, plenty of fresh milk, pumpkin and apple pie, with cottage cheese, ginger cakes and doughnuts, and even cider for those who wish.
The dance is always given during the full harvest moon and the stone wall which bounds the orchard, the old farm wagons, the grain bins and even the low apple trees furnish flirtation nooks for lovers. One year the barn dance was also a potato roast. Huge fires were built on the lawn, and during the intermission the crowd gathered around the fires and roasted potatoes. This time, too, the dance was made a house party, and the girls were stowed away in the farmhouse while the boys enjoyed tents and the big haymow. Is it any wonder that the pretty hostess' friends call her barn dance the big event of the year?
The bachelor women in their cosy little city apartments, or even their one apartment, refuse to be debarred from the pleasure and privilege of giving the little entertainments so dear to the heart feminine. They not only give the most charming little "teas" and "coffees," but they are past masters in the use of the chafing dish and those who have feasted with them will no longer deem that liveriedservice and stately rooms are necessary to the proper receiving of one's friends.
After all, "the highest hospitality is in giving what one has." Hawthorne and his wife never forgot the little American studying art in Rome, who, in her tower room, reached by many flights of stairs, made tea before their eyes, and took from a cupboard the cake and crackers that made her feast. Neither will the world forget her, since she it was, who, in the "Marble Faun," is the Hulda who fed the doves from the tower.
A sandwich spread is another entertainment easily given by a "bachelor maid." This is a meal at which everything, barring the tea and coffee, is served in the form of a sandwich. Not until one has tried does one realize to what excellence and variety this form of viand lends itself. Deviled ham sandwiches, egg sandwiches, cheese sandwiches, lettuce sandwiches, potted ham, potted fish, potted cheese sandwiches, pineapple sandwiches, peanut sandwiches, cucumber sandwiches, tomato sandwiches, walnut sandwiches, oyster sandwiches and so on indefinitely. Any modern cookbook will furnish the formulas for all these and more.
"He or she," says one writer, "who partakes, forgets the presence of the folding bed and gas stove; of the curtained china cupboard in friendly proximity to the writing desk or easel. There is no paint on the artist's fingers, and the newspaper woman wears as pretty a gown as any woman could wish."
The etiquette of invitations is the same for Private Theatricals, as for musicales. Simply substituting the word, "Theatricals," "Charades," or "Tableaux," whichever it is to be, in the left hand corner of the card. The same observances as to arranging the seats, toilettes of the guests, etc., are requisite, and performers should be equally careful not to fail at the last moment in taking their part. In reality they should be more so, since the failure of one performer might ruin the entire play.
A drama entails more expense and care than characters and tableaux. A host or hostess should never take leading part unless it be especially urged upon them by the others, and even then it is not best, first, because the entertainers should never eclipse their guests, and, second, they should be free for a general oversight of the whole affair, ready to settle disputed points and find missing stage "properties." An effort should be made to assign, as nearly as possible, acceptable and suitable parts to all.
Those invited should display willingness to take parts assigned them, even if not the most important in the cast. All cannot be Romeos or Juliets. There are minor parts to play on all stages. Learn the part given you thoroughly, and do your best to make the play a success. If sickness or unavoidable accident intervene, inform the hostess at once that she may be able to supply a substitute for the part.
Guests indulge in conversation between the acts, and the music of an orchestra often fills the pause.
A carpenter is usually called in to build the temporary stage, or a curtain is fitted to rise and fall in the archway between two parlors; the first parlor being used for the audience room and the second one for stage, with dressing-room in the rear. A private billiard-room, also, can be used to good advantage. At the conclusion of the play, supper is served, and social conversation and dancing follow.
There are many ways of making pleasant entertainments out of these informal gatherings. Such an evening may last from nine to twelve o'clock. Where impromptu dancing is resorted to, as it so often is, another hour is sometimes added. If dancing be excluded, games, music, cards, or recitations should take its place. If neither card-playing, nor dancing is permitted, the supper usually becomes the feature of the evening.
When friends are invited to pass an evening socially with cards and music, refreshments are always served. They can be placed upon thedining-room table, and the company invited to partake of them. They should consist of sandwiches or cold meats and rolls, and cakes and coffee or chocolate, or only cakes, ices and lemonade can be served. The best dishes the china closet affords should be used.
Or, the supper can be made an elaborate "sit-down" banquet. If the long table is not sufficient for all, the guests can be served in relays. The table should be prettily decorated. There are different forms of home parties, such as birthday celebrations, where gifts and toasts are in order, house-warmings, or a church party.
When the supper is served in relays the hostess had better wait until the last table, and circulate about among those guests who have not yet been served. Some appointed lady can serve as hostess at each table. The elder guests should be seated at the first. Sometimes small tables are scattered about the rooms to accommodate those who cannot find place at the large table, thus all are served at once.
Where neither card-playing nor dancing are indulged in, it becomes necessary to find some other amusement. Impromptu charades are sure to break the ice. A shadow party also, where any amount of sport can be had with a darkened room and a tightly stretched sheet illuminated from the rear, whereon shadows can be cast for guessing. There are also a great many interesting games of which enough can be furnished for an entire company.
Are also amusing entertainments, but they must be arranged for beforehand. It is usual to take the works of one author and give out the characters to be represented to each one, that repetitions may be prevented. Then the guessing that will follow when the company are all together, and the conversation that naturally ensues on literary subjects, ensures the success of the party.
Are pleasurable affairs. There is no light furnished except by an open fire. The guests sit around in a circle and tell stories. Eachone is provided with a bunch of twigs, or fagot to be thrown on the fire, the guest being expected to sing a song, tell a story, give a recitation, or otherwise amuse the company while his fagot burns.
These gatherings, as the name signifies, are devoted entirely to conversation, and are supposed to be chiefly gatherings of literary and scientific people. Where one especially fine conversationalist is the star of the evening, one or two lesser lights should be invited to share with him the honors of the occasion.
A summer dinner in the country has many pleasant features peculiar to itself. Chief among these is its lack of formality, and city guests are always pleasurably entertained at the country dinner table. A good cook and a competent waitress are necessities.
The flowers that ornament the table must partake of the field and forest rather than suggest the city hothouse. Slender, light, glass vases and rose-bowls are best for the light grasses, field flowers and garden blossoms. Pretty, modern, inexpensive china is sufficient for a country dinner, and not too much silverware should be used.
Light, clear soups should form the first course (mock turtle or ox-tail soup is not in order). The roast should be carved away from the table. Plenty of fresh vegetables should be prepared, that being one of the privileges of country life. Delightfully fresh salads are also at command of the suburban householder; and if the dining-room be cool and large, and therewith the grace be given of a beautiful view, what greater gift can the gods grant!
Let the housekeeper forbear to serve hot puddings or heavy pastries. Fruit tarts, the freshest of fruits with great glass pitchers of country cream, cold custards, gelatine creams of all kinds and ice cream are always satisfactory; and many substitute for the heavy roast the lighter dishes of broiled fish, chicken, or chops. A cold boiled ham on the sideboard adds another dish to the board.
There is a certain etiquette to be observed in playing all social games. In card-playing especially this is a necessity. In the first place, it is the hostess who proposes the game. In the second, no one who refuses should be urged to join in the amusement. They may have conscientious scruples, and respect should be shown their principles. Unless, however, this be the reason, no one should refuse to play from mere caprice when their presence is required to make up a table.
New packs of cards should be provided by the hostess. Playing for money, even the smallest amount, should be strictly avoided. It is unfit for the home parlor.
Those who do not understand playing should not join a set unless especially urged, as their ignorance is apt to spoil the pleasure of the others. The fingers should not be wet to deal the cards. Partners should never exchange signs. Let every one play his best and not act indifferent to the game.
Do not talk on all manner of topics; it disturbs those who enjoy the game.
Do not criticise, nor hurry other players.
Never lose temper over a game.
To cheat is extremely ill-bred.
If you have a poor partner manifest no annoyance.
Never reflect upon the playing of your opponents.
Those who have played together so much that they understand one another's play should not be partners in general company.
Never manifest anger at defeat, nor undue exultation at winning.
These rules, many of them, apply to all other social games, both outdoors and in.
Coaching parties are delightful. They give much latitude for gay, pretty costumes, and there are few brighter pictures than that of a tally-ho coach as it dashes along the city boulevards and over the country roads to the music of jingling chains and winding horns.
Outdoor Sports
OUTDOOR SPORTS.
Appetites are sharpened by the long drive, and hampers must be well packed with substantial viands. Potted meats, all manner of sandwiches, game pies, cold birds, and substantial beef and tongue, will be sure of appreciation.
(See "Dress," etc., for suitable attire.)
Hunting is very little favored by ladies on this side the water, though it is occasionally indulged in by a few. The enthusiasm, however, of a ride to hounds is much dampened by the knowledge that an anise-seed bag, instead of a fox, furnishes the scent over which the hounds give eager tongue. Those who attempt to hunt must be at home in the saddle.
(See "Dress," etc., for appropriate attire.)
These popular games have their own etiquette, rules, dress, etc., so thoroughly established that all devotees of these sports understand the routine without giving it place here.
Never dispute, or show any temper over the outcome of any game.
Many ladies are quite expert with the oars, and boating, when not overdone, is a healthful and pleasant amusement. When gentlemen are with a party of ladies, one of them should step in the boat to steady it, while another "assists" the ladies in. See that their dress is so arranged that they will not get wet. Inexperienced rowers should learn before joining a party.
The stroke oar is the seat of honor. It may be offered to a guest. Ladies should wear short dresses, free from encumbering draperies, heavy shoes, and a hat with a broad brim. Heavy gloves, if they intend rowing, should be worn.
Yachting is a delightful and rather dangerous amusement. Ladies wear warm wool dresses that water will not injure, made short in theskirt, and jaunty of cut, with sailor-like emblems for adornment. No young lady should go out alone with a gentleman either yachting or rowing. In yachting especially a boat is sometimes becalmed for hours and even all night. A party composed entirely of young people should have a chaperon.
The celebration of children's birthdays and other little anniversaries by means of parties, is a pleasant custom and one worthy of observance. Such red-letter days are long remembered by the little ones.
The invitations are issued in the children's own names, and may be written or engraved. Usually they are written upon small note sheets and enclosed in small envelopes. If the invitation is for a Christmas-tree, or an Easter-egg hunt, a tiny tree, or a colored egg, may ornament one corner of the sheet.
The form varies hardly at all: MissGertrude Hallrequests the pleasure of MissClara Winship'scompany, on Wednesday, June twentieth. From three until five o'clock. 3 Madison Avenue.
These invitations should be carefully and promptly answered in the same form as given and in the third person. (See "Invitations," etc.)
This teaches the little host or hostess the gravity of their position as entertainers, and impresses the little guests with the importance of their behavior. Also giving them an early lesson in the etiquette of social life.
If it is a birthday party, a birthday cake will be the chief feature, and it is a pretty fancy to have it decorated with as many tiny wax candles as there are years in the child's life in whose honor the party is given. These tapers may be placed around the cake, or put in tin tubes and sunk into the top of the cake. Light them just before the little guests are called out to the table.
At the close of the supper the child whose birthday it is, blows out the candles, and, if old enough, cuts the cake and passes it.
Presents are sometimes brought by the guests, but it is not best to encourage this fashion.
Dancing or games may follow the supper, and older persons should constantly superintend the amusements to see that the merriment does not flag, nor the little folks become too boisterous.
At an Easter party, dainty little egg-shaped boxes, filled with bon-bons, may be placed at each plate, or else hidden in a room from which the lighter articles of furniture have been removed, and the children permitted to search for them. The hunt is the chief pleasure.
If it is a Christmas party the tree is the source of interest, and often a make-believe Santa Claus adds to the merriment of the occasion. The refreshments should be simple but fanciful. Make the table bright as possible—snowballs, cornucopias, lady-fingers, assorted cakes, love-knots, sandwiches (fancy), crystalized fruits, tarts, sliced tongue, pressed veal, thin bread and butter, rolled and tied, ice cream in molds, and one large heavily-frosted cake. A host of flowers, and the table is complete. Lemonade for a drink, or perhaps hot chocolate.
The good breeding learned, the opportunities of impressing upon children the beauty of self-denial and politeness, and of teaching them to dispense, and to receive hospitalities, and to restrain that tendency toward favoring certain playmates, so strong in childhood, will more than repay for the trouble of preparing the feast. Never permit the party to extend to late hours, and never overdress the little folks. White is always suitable for girls, and jacket suits for boys under the age for long trousers.
Christenings, Confirmations and Graduations
ANNOUNCEMENT Cards are frequently sent out to all friends immediately upon the arrival of a little heir or heiress. These cards are variously worded. One seen by the writer was as follows:
Arrived: In Los Gatos, Sunday morning, November third, eighteen hundred and ninety-five,Florence Wescott. Weight, ten pounds; blue eyes and sound lungs. She sends greeting to all her friends.
A simpler one would be:Greeting: Edith May Toucey, November 1, 1895. Weight, 9½ pounds.
These cards received (or even if they are omitted), the lady friends and acquaintances call and leave cards with kind inquires or send them by a servant. Gentlemen do not call, but they are expected to see the happy father and inquire after mother and child.
When the mother is ready to receive friends she sends out cards to all that have called "with thanks for kind inquiries," written beneath her name, or issues invitations for a candle or christening party.
The baptism or christening is performed according to the rites of whatever church the parents may be members of. If the ceremony is performed in church, personal fancy has very little play, though it is almost a law that flowers shall cluster about the place where little ones are brought for dedication.
If the occasion is to be further celebrated by festivities at the house they may take whatever form is most agreeable. When the christening is held at the house and guests are invited, it is customary to defer the ceremony until the mother is ready to take the part of hostess; usually until the child is a month or six weeks old.
Invitations are issued for an afternoon or early evening reception. They may be written or engraved, and are issued in the name of both parents, thus:Mr.andMrs. James Grayrequest the pleasure of your presence at the Christening of their son at half-past four o'clock, Wednesday, May tenth. 12 Madison Avenue.
Or:Mr.andMrs. John Thurstonrequest the honor ofMr.andMrs. Brown'spresence at the Christening of their daughter on Thursday, May 11th, at three o'clock. Reception from two to five, 150 Delaware Place. Sometimes the words, "No presents expected," are added to the invitation.
These invitations are promptly answered, and those who attend should wear a reception dress. The solemnity of the occasion should be recognized by the appearance, previous to the hour named, of all who expect to be present. Those who cannot be in time to witness the ceremony should defer their arrival until a sufficient time has elapsed to allow of its completion.
A temporary font is placed in a central position. This is best arranged by banking up the top of a small round table with mosses, smilax and delicate ferns, while the top, outside the rim of the bowl holding the china basin containing the water, is a mass of white flowers.
The drawing-room may be decorated with blossoms, and vocal or instrumental music is usually provided. Hired musicians are sometimes engaged. See that the selections are suitable to the sacred character of the occasion. Friends are sometimes asked to give two or three vocal selections.
At the appointed time the father and mother stand before the clergyman at the font and receive their child from the nurse or some friend; the godparents range themselves on either side, and theclergyman proceeds with the service. If the parents are able, the clergyman is usually given a handsome fee on these occasions.
Congratulations are offered the father and mother, and the baby, robed elaborately, then becomes the center of attraction for a few moments, until the host leads the way to the refreshment table which is bountifully spread as for a reception.
A toast in the child's honor is often given at this time by one of the sponsors. Guests shortly disperse. After calls are made, or cards left, within ten days. Sometimes relatives only are invited to these parties. When the christening is held in church, the party is set for some hour of the same day.
In selecting godparents or sponsors, relatives are often given precedence and very close friends come next. Be careful in the choice, as from these godparents is to be expected much good counsel and kindly aid in the future. In all old countries this relationship is expected to last for a lifetime, and the godparents are supposed to watch over the religious growth of the child and see that in due time he is brought forward for confirmation, or for union with the church in some other manner.
A boy is expected to have two godfathers and one godmother; a girl one godfather and two godmothers. A note is sent to each person selected as sponsor asking him to assume that friendly office. This request should never be refused except for good and sufficient reason.
Godparents usually make a present to the child, generally in the form of some suitable silver article. Among the very wealthy, especially if the child bears the godfather's name, very valuable presents are often made, these generally taking the form of checks for large amounts.
The modern candle party is given when the child is about six weeks old, and is quite a separate affair from the christening, the churchhaving objected in some cases to having the two celebrated at the same time. Candle parties, simply in the nature of a name-festival, are frequently given when the christening is not observed.
Invitations are sent out one week in advance, and are in the following form:Mr.andMrs. Brownrequest your company, Wednesday afternoon, at three.Candle.125 Vancouver Street. No presents expected.
The words, "no presents," need not prevent any who wish from making a gift, but relieves those who may not be prepared.
The phrase, "Candle Party," is somewhat difficult to define, but the name and the custom have come down from olden times. It used then to be the habit to serve all who called with inquiries and congratulations on the arrival of a little stranger, with a kind of spiced gruel, flavored with rum or Madeira, and known as "candle." This was served in china cups having two handles, so they could be passed from one to another. These were called "candle cups," and are much prized heirlooms in more than one old family. This ceremony was then observed when the child was three days old; now the "candle party" is celebrated when it is at least six weeks old.
The mother receives her guests in some elaborate house gown, the baby in robes of state is on exhibition for a short time, and the guests are served with "candle" in the form of an oatmeal gruel, long and slowly boiled with raisins and spices, and fine old Madeira or rum added at the last until the beverage is "to the Queen's taste."
When the announcement cards of a baby's birth are sent out, very many friends of the family interpret this as an opportunity for making a present to the new arrival. This is not a new social custom, for its origin goes back to the time of the Chaldean shepherds, when wise men of the East journeyed to the stable cradle to present their gifts of frankincense and myrrh.
The most sensible plan in this case, and, in fact, in all gift making, is to consult the condition of the recipient as well as the purse of thegiver. If the parental purse is a little slim, gifts that are useful are generally the best to give. Dainty gowns, embroidered flannels, coach rugs, things that every baby needs.
The least expensive and simplest gifts and always of use, are the lace pin, shoulder pin and chained buttons in gold. Three pins connected by delicate gold chains are very much in demand, and a studding of turquoise of pearl adds much to their beauty. The dear little silver-backed brushes and powder boxes have always been favorites.
One exquisite present from a point of sentiment and value was recently presented to a girl. Each of her father's groomsmen sent a five-dollar gold piece to the goldsmith, who melted them down and transformed them into a gold chain and locket. The locket bore the monogram of the baby and the initial letter of each groomsman's name.
Another tiny new woman received from her grandmother a spoon which was made of little bits of silver melted down. A silver piece taken from the pocket of a dead aunt, two or three bits left in the purse of the grandfather, who had died; a bit of a broken spoon used by the baby's own mamma—these and other souvenirs of the family history made the gift spoon something far out of the ordinary.
One of the most magnificent and costly gifts in silver that is given to the baby is the entire food set, consisting of plate, bowl, pitcher, knife and fork, spoon and napkin ring. These sets come in cases and range in prices ordinarily from $50 to $150, though some very elaborate ones may be ordered which go far into the hundreds.
A very pretty and surely most interesting gift that could be sent to a baby is a baby diary in which the principal events of the little one's life can be entered by the mother and kept in after years as a record of those marvelously interesting days of babyhood.
A certain very sensible woman usually deposits a small sum of money inbankand presents the bank book to her little new friend, thus laying the foundation for future habits of economy and thrift.
In the Episcopal, Lutheran and Roman Catholic churches, "Confirmation is the sequel of baptism." Here comes in one of the duties of the godparents, and should the child become orphaned, or should its parents by reason of carelessness, or irreligion, neglect this important matter, the church holds the godparents in a large measure responsible that these children be brought before the Bishop for confirmation.
Some weeks prior to the arrival of the Bishop, persons desirous of admission to the church present their names to the clergymen, and classes are formed of instruction and preparation for the solemn event.
The ceremony of the confirmation service is in accordance with the forms of the church in which it is observed. The only uniformity being in the garb of the young candidates. This for the girls is always gowns of purest white, with gloves and shoes to match. White bound prayer-books should be carried, and in the Roman Catholic and the Lutheran churches white veils and wreaths crown the young heads. For the youths, black suits, black ties and gloves are the proper thing.
With the important event of graduation ends the three great ceremonies of youth. The church and the school have both set their seal upon the young man and maiden, and the business world and the social world are waiting to receive them.
In the matter of dress for this important event, the young man is supposed to confine himself to conventional black with white tie. The young girl is usually in white, with gloves, shoes, hose and fan to match.
This, however, depends upon the taste of the class, as they expect to dress alike, and often select some other delicate shade of color for the class costume.
There is one thing to be remembered—that is, that too much extravagance should not be displayed in the selection and adornments of the gown for the occasion. In the first place, simplicity is the prerogative of youth. In the second, it is bad taste to overload a young schoolgirl with expensive materials and lavish ornaments. In the third, there will always be found in every graduating class one or more students to whose purse the expenses incident upon the school course have been a heavy drain, and to whom compliance with the style of dress worn by other members of the class will mean a serious strain upon the home exchequer, or the incurring of a debt for the future, while to dress as their purse affords requires more self-denial than an outsider realizes. The slights, the sneers of insolent classmates have driven more than one sensitive soul to solitude and tears, and clouded what should have been the bright beginning of life with sorrow and anger.
Directors of schools have more than once striven to do away with this abuse of the occasion by prescribing the dress to be worn, but with poor success, since sumptuary laws are not kindly received in this free country.
Now, the remedy lies in the hands of the girls themselves, and with their parents. Let it be once understood that such a display is the mark of socialparvenus, of the newly-rich, and the custom will cease to exist.
Friends bring flowers to the place of graduation which are sent up, either by the ushers, who are chosen among intimates of the classmates, or by tiny boys dressed as pages. These floral offerings havecome to be so extensive that the stage is often banked with the beautiful blossoms. Here, too, is another abuse. To those who have few friends, and less money, the absence of these remembrances is often so marked as to cause many a heartache.
Cards with the donor's name and the words, "Congratulations," or "Graduation Congratulations," penned in one corner, are tied with narrow ribbons to these gifts. Presents of a more substantial nature are also sent up; books, watches, jewels, etc., and have a more lasting remembrance than the fleeting blossoms. One of the prettiest floral gifts seen on an occasion of graduation was a graceful ship, white sailed, and lovely, all of fragrant flowers, and full freighted with the hopes and prayers for the young legal graduate, who was sole son of the house.
Carriages convey the graduates to and from the hall, and a class reception is supposed to finish the long round of the gaieties of "Class Week."
Etiquette of Funerals and Mourning
THE great sorrow brought upon a family by the death of a loved one renders the immediate members of the family incapable of attending to the necessary arrangements for the funeral. The services of an intimate friend, or a relative, should, therefore, be sought. He should receive general instructions from the family, after which he should take entire charge of the arrangements, and relieve them from all care on the subject. If such a person cannot be had, the arrangements may be placed in the hands of the sexton of the church the deceased attended in life, or of some responsible undertaker.
The expenses of the funeral should be in accordance with the means of the family. No false pride should permit the relatives to incur undue expense in order to make a showy funeral. At the same time, affection will dictate that all the marks of respect which you can provide should be paid to the memory of your beloved dead.
In some parts of the country it is customary to send notes of invitation to the funeral to the friends of the deceased and of the family. These invitations should be printed, neatly and simply, on mourning paper, with envelopes to match, and should be delivered by a private messenger. The following is a correct form, the names and dates to be changed to suit the occasion: