“Don’t worry,” Bert said. “Kurt’s safe tonight.”Alan stopped lacing up his shoes and slumped back on the bench in his foyer. Mimi had done the dishes, Bill had dried, and he’d fretted about Kurt. But it wasn’t until he couldn’t take it anymore and was ready to go and find him, bring him home if necessary, that Billy had come to talk to him.“Do you know that for sure?”“Yes. He has dinner with a woman, then he takes her dumpster diving and comes home and goes to bed. I can see that.”“But you don’t see everything?”“No, but I saw that.”“Fine,” Adam said. He felt hopeless in the face of these predictions, as though the future were something set and immutable.“I need to use the bathroom,” Billy said, and made his way upstairs while Alan moved to a sofa and paged absently through an old edition ofAlice in Wonderlandwhose marbled frontispiece had come detached.A moment later, Mimi joined him, sitting down next to him, her wings unfolded across the sofa back.“How big are they going to get, do you think?” she said, arranging them.“You don’t know?”“They’re bigger than they’ve ever been. That was good food,” she said. “I think I should go talk to Krishna.”Adam shook his head. “Whoa.”“You don’t need to be in between us. Maybe I can get him to back off on you, on your family.”“Mimi, I don’t even want to discuss it.”“It’s the right thing to do,” she said. “It’s not fair to you to stay.”“You want to have your wings cut,” Alan said. “That’s why you want to go back to him.”She shied back as though he’d slapped her. “No—”“You do. But what Billy didn’t tell you is that Krishna’s out there with other women, I saw him today. With a girl. Young. Pretty. Normal. If he takes you back, it will be as a toy, not as a lover. He can’t love.”“Christ,” she said. “Why are you saying this?”“Because I don’t want to watch you self-destruct, Mimi. Stay here. We’ll sort out Krishna together. And my brother. Billy’s here now, that means they can’t sneak up on us.”“And these?” she said, flapping her wings, one great heave that sent currents of air across the room, that blew the loose frontispiece fromAlice in Wonderlandtoward the fireplace grate. “You’ll sort these out, too?”“What do you want from me, Mimi?” He was angry now. She hadn’t spoken a word to him in weeks, and now—“Cut them off, Alan. Make me into someone who can go out again, who can be seen. Do it. I have the knife.”Adam squeezed his eyes shut. “No,” he said.“Good-bye,” she said, and stood, headed for the stairs. Upstairs, the toilet flushed and they heard the sink running.“Wait!” he said, running after her. She had her hand on the doorknob.“No,” she said. She was crying now. “I won’t stay. I won’t be trapped again. Better to be with him than trapped—”“I’ll do it,” he said. “If you still want me to do it in two days, I’ll do it.”She looked gravely at him. “Don’t you lie to me about this,” she said. “Don’t you dare be lying.”He took her hands. “I swear,” he said.From the top of the stairs then, “Whups,” said Billy. “I think I’ll just tuck myself into bed.”Mimi smiled and hugged Alan fiercely.Trey’s ardor came out with his drunkenness. First a clammy arm around her shoulder, then a casual grope at her boob, then a sloppy kiss on the corner of her mouth. That was as far as she was going to let it go. She waited for him to move in for another kiss, then slipped out from under his arm so that he fell into the roots of the big tree they’d been leaning against. She brained him with the vodka bottle before he’d had a chance to recover, then, as he rocked and moaned, she calmly took the hunting knife she’d bought at the Yonge Street survivalist store out of her bag. She prized one of his hands off his clutched head and turned it over, then swiftly drew the blade across his palm, laying it open to the muscle.She hadn’t been sure that she’d be capable of doing that, but it was easier than she’d thought. She had nothing to worry about. She was capable of that and more.
“Don’t worry,” Bert said. “Kurt’s safe tonight.”
Alan stopped lacing up his shoes and slumped back on the bench in his foyer. Mimi had done the dishes, Bill had dried, and he’d fretted about Kurt. But it wasn’t until he couldn’t take it anymore and was ready to go and find him, bring him home if necessary, that Billy had come to talk to him.
“Do you know that for sure?”
“Yes. He has dinner with a woman, then he takes her dumpster diving and comes home and goes to bed. I can see that.”
“But you don’t see everything?”
“No, but I saw that.”
“Fine,” Adam said. He felt hopeless in the face of these predictions, as though the future were something set and immutable.
“I need to use the bathroom,” Billy said, and made his way upstairs while Alan moved to a sofa and paged absently through an old edition ofAlice in Wonderlandwhose marbled frontispiece had come detached.
A moment later, Mimi joined him, sitting down next to him, her wings unfolded across the sofa back.
“How big are they going to get, do you think?” she said, arranging them.
“You don’t know?”
“They’re bigger than they’ve ever been. That was good food,” she said. “I think I should go talk to Krishna.”
Adam shook his head. “Whoa.”
“You don’t need to be in between us. Maybe I can get him to back off on you, on your family.”
“Mimi, I don’t even want to discuss it.”
“It’s the right thing to do,” she said. “It’s not fair to you to stay.”
“You want to have your wings cut,” Alan said. “That’s why you want to go back to him.”
She shied back as though he’d slapped her. “No—”
“You do. But what Billy didn’t tell you is that Krishna’s out there with other women, I saw him today. With a girl. Young. Pretty. Normal. If he takes you back, it will be as a toy, not as a lover. He can’t love.”
“Christ,” she said. “Why are you saying this?”
“Because I don’t want to watch you self-destruct, Mimi. Stay here. We’ll sort out Krishna together. And my brother. Billy’s here now, that means they can’t sneak up on us.”
“And these?” she said, flapping her wings, one great heave that sent currents of air across the room, that blew the loose frontispiece fromAlice in Wonderlandtoward the fireplace grate. “You’ll sort these out, too?”
“What do you want from me, Mimi?” He was angry now. She hadn’t spoken a word to him in weeks, and now—
“Cut them off, Alan. Make me into someone who can go out again, who can be seen. Do it. I have the knife.”
Adam squeezed his eyes shut. “No,” he said.
“Good-bye,” she said, and stood, headed for the stairs. Upstairs, the toilet flushed and they heard the sink running.
“Wait!” he said, running after her. She had her hand on the doorknob.
“No,” she said. She was crying now. “I won’t stay. I won’t be trapped again. Better to be with him than trapped—”
“I’ll do it,” he said. “If you still want me to do it in two days, I’ll do it.”
She looked gravely at him. “Don’t you lie to me about this,” she said. “Don’t you dare be lying.”
He took her hands. “I swear,” he said.
From the top of the stairs then, “Whups,” said Billy. “I think I’ll just tuck myself into bed.”
Mimi smiled and hugged Alan fiercely.
Trey’s ardor came out with his drunkenness. First a clammy arm around her shoulder, then a casual grope at her boob, then a sloppy kiss on the corner of her mouth. That was as far as she was going to let it go. She waited for him to move in for another kiss, then slipped out from under his arm so that he fell into the roots of the big tree they’d been leaning against. She brained him with the vodka bottle before he’d had a chance to recover, then, as he rocked and moaned, she calmly took the hunting knife she’d bought at the Yonge Street survivalist store out of her bag. She prized one of his hands off his clutched head and turned it over, then swiftly drew the blade across his palm, laying it open to the muscle.
She hadn’t been sure that she’d be capable of doing that, but it was easier than she’d thought. She had nothing to worry about. She was capable of that and more.