The next day was Saturday, and Marci arranged to meet him at the cave-mouth. In the lee of the wind, the bright winter sun reflected enough heat off the snow that some of it melted away, revealing the stunted winter grass beneath. They sat on the dry snow and listened to the wind whistle through the pines and the hiss of loose snow blowing across the crust.“Will I get to meet your Da, then?†she said, after they’d watched a jackrabbit hop up the mountainside and disappear into the woods.He sniffed deeply, and smelled the coalface smell of his father’s cogitation.“You want to?†he said.“I do.â€And so he led her inside the mountain, through the winter cave, and back and back to the pool in the mountain’s heart. They crept along quietly, her fingers twined in his. “You have to put out the flashlight now,†he said. “It’ll scare the goblin.†His voice shocked him, and her, he felt her startle. It was so quiet otherwise, just the sounds of breathing and of cave winds.So she let the whirring dynamo in the flashlight wind down, and the darkness descended on them. It was cool, but not cold, and the wind smelled more strongly of coalface than ever. “He’s in there,†Alan said. He heard the goblin scamper away. His words echoed over the pool around the corner. “Come on.†Her fingers were very cool. They walked in a slow, measured step, like a king and queen of elfland going for a walk in the woods.He stopped them at the pool’s edge. There was almost no light here, but Alan could make out the smooth surface of his father’s pool.“Now what?†she whispered, the hissing of her words susurrating over the pool’s surface.“We can only talk to him from the center,†he whispered. “We have to wade in.â€â€œI can’t go home with wet clothes,†she whispered.“You don’t wear clothes,†he said. He let go of her hand and began to unzip his snowsuit.And so they stripped, there on his father’s shore. She was luminous in the dark, a pale girl-shape picked out in the ripples of the pool, skinny, with her arms crossed in front of her chest. Even though he knew she couldn’t see him, he was self-conscious in his nudity, and he stepped into the pool as soon as he was naked.“Wait,†she said, sounding panicked. “Don’t leave me!â€So he held out his hand for her, and then, realizing that she couldn’t see it, he stepped out of the pool and took her hand, brushing her small breast as he did so. He barely registered the contact, though she startled and nearly fell over. “Sorry,†he said. “Come on.â€The water was cold, but once they were in up to their shoulders, it warmed up, or they went numb.“Is it okay?†she whispered, and now that they were in the center of the cavern, the echoes crossed back and forth and took a long time to die out.“Listen,†Andy said. “Just listen.â€And as the echoes of his words died down, the winds picked up, and then the words emerged from the breeze.“Adam,†his father sighed. Marci jumped a foot out of the water, and her splashdown sent watery ripples rebounding off the cavern walls.Alan reached out for her and draped his arm around her shoulders. She huddled against his chest, slick cold naked skin goose-pimpled against his ribs. She smelled wonderful, like a fox. Itfeltwonderful, and solemn, to stand there nude, in the heart of his father, and let his secrets spill away.Her breathing stilled again.“Alan,†his father said.“We want to understand, Father,†Alan whispered. “What am I?†It was the question he’d never asked. Now that he’d asked it, he felt like a fool: Surely his fatherknew, the mountain knew everything, had stood forever. He could have found out anytime he’d thought to ask.“I don’t have the answer,†his father said. “There may be no answer. You may never know.â€Adam let go of Marci, let his arms fall to his sides.“No,†he said. “No!†he shouted again, and the stillness was broken. The wind blew cold and hard, and he didn’t care. “NO!†he screamed, and Marci grabbed him and put her hand over his mouth. His ears roared with echoes, and they did not die down, but rather built atop one another, to a wall of noise that scared him.She was crying now, scared and openmouthed sobs. She splashed him and water went up his nose and stung his eyes. The wind was colder now, cold enough to hurt, and he took her hand and sloshed recklessly for the shore. He spun up the flashlight and handed it to her, then yanked his clothes over his wet skin, glaring at the pool while she did the same.
The next day was Saturday, and Marci arranged to meet him at the cave-mouth. In the lee of the wind, the bright winter sun reflected enough heat off the snow that some of it melted away, revealing the stunted winter grass beneath. They sat on the dry snow and listened to the wind whistle through the pines and the hiss of loose snow blowing across the crust.
“Will I get to meet your Da, then?†she said, after they’d watched a jackrabbit hop up the mountainside and disappear into the woods.
He sniffed deeply, and smelled the coalface smell of his father’s cogitation.
“You want to?†he said.
“I do.â€
And so he led her inside the mountain, through the winter cave, and back and back to the pool in the mountain’s heart. They crept along quietly, her fingers twined in his. “You have to put out the flashlight now,†he said. “It’ll scare the goblin.†His voice shocked him, and her, he felt her startle. It was so quiet otherwise, just the sounds of breathing and of cave winds.
So she let the whirring dynamo in the flashlight wind down, and the darkness descended on them. It was cool, but not cold, and the wind smelled more strongly of coalface than ever. “He’s in there,†Alan said. He heard the goblin scamper away. His words echoed over the pool around the corner. “Come on.†Her fingers were very cool. They walked in a slow, measured step, like a king and queen of elfland going for a walk in the woods.
He stopped them at the pool’s edge. There was almost no light here, but Alan could make out the smooth surface of his father’s pool.
“Now what?†she whispered, the hissing of her words susurrating over the pool’s surface.
“We can only talk to him from the center,†he whispered. “We have to wade in.â€
“I can’t go home with wet clothes,†she whispered.
“You don’t wear clothes,†he said. He let go of her hand and began to unzip his snowsuit.
And so they stripped, there on his father’s shore. She was luminous in the dark, a pale girl-shape picked out in the ripples of the pool, skinny, with her arms crossed in front of her chest. Even though he knew she couldn’t see him, he was self-conscious in his nudity, and he stepped into the pool as soon as he was naked.
“Wait,†she said, sounding panicked. “Don’t leave me!â€
So he held out his hand for her, and then, realizing that she couldn’t see it, he stepped out of the pool and took her hand, brushing her small breast as he did so. He barely registered the contact, though she startled and nearly fell over. “Sorry,†he said. “Come on.â€
The water was cold, but once they were in up to their shoulders, it warmed up, or they went numb.
“Is it okay?†she whispered, and now that they were in the center of the cavern, the echoes crossed back and forth and took a long time to die out.
“Listen,†Andy said. “Just listen.â€
And as the echoes of his words died down, the winds picked up, and then the words emerged from the breeze.
“Adam,†his father sighed. Marci jumped a foot out of the water, and her splashdown sent watery ripples rebounding off the cavern walls.
Alan reached out for her and draped his arm around her shoulders. She huddled against his chest, slick cold naked skin goose-pimpled against his ribs. She smelled wonderful, like a fox. Itfeltwonderful, and solemn, to stand there nude, in the heart of his father, and let his secrets spill away.
Her breathing stilled again.
“Alan,†his father said.
“We want to understand, Father,†Alan whispered. “What am I?†It was the question he’d never asked. Now that he’d asked it, he felt like a fool: Surely his fatherknew, the mountain knew everything, had stood forever. He could have found out anytime he’d thought to ask.
“I don’t have the answer,†his father said. “There may be no answer. You may never know.â€
Adam let go of Marci, let his arms fall to his sides.
“No,†he said. “No!†he shouted again, and the stillness was broken. The wind blew cold and hard, and he didn’t care. “NO!†he screamed, and Marci grabbed him and put her hand over his mouth. His ears roared with echoes, and they did not die down, but rather built atop one another, to a wall of noise that scared him.
She was crying now, scared and openmouthed sobs. She splashed him and water went up his nose and stung his eyes. The wind was colder now, cold enough to hurt, and he took her hand and sloshed recklessly for the shore. He spun up the flashlight and handed it to her, then yanked his clothes over his wet skin, glaring at the pool while she did the same.