BENDY'S SERMON[Bendigo, the well-known Nottingham prize fighter, became converted to religion, and preached at revival meetings throughout the country.]You didn't know of Bendigo! Well, thatknocks me out!Who's your board school teacher? What'she been about?Chock-a-block with fairy-tales — full ofuseless cram,And never heard o' Bendigo, the pride ofNottingham!Bendy's short for Bendigo. You shouldsee him peel!Half of him was whalebone, half of himwas steel,Fightin' weight eleven ten, five foot ninein height,Always ready to oblige if you want afight.I could talk of Bendigo from here to king-dom come,I guess before I ended you would wish yourdad was dumb.I'd tell you how he fought Ben Caunt, andhow the deaf 'un fell,But the game is done, and the men aregone — and maybe it's as well.Bendy he turned Methodist—he said hefelt a call,He stumped the country preachin' and youbet he filled the hall,If you seed him in the pulpit, a-bleatin'like a lamb,You'd never know bold Bendigo, thepride of Nottingham.His hat was like a funeral, he'd got awaiter's coat,With a hallelujah collar and a choker roundhis throat,His pals would laugh and say in chaff thatBendigo was right,In takin' on the devil, since he'd no oneelse to fight.But he was very earnest, improvin' day byday,A-workin' and a-preachin' just as his dutylay,But the devil he was waitin', and in thefinal bout,He hit him hard below his guard andknocked poor Bendy out.Now I'll tell you how it happened. Hewas preachin' down at Brum,He was billed just like a circus, you shouldsee the people come,The chapel it was crowded, and in the fore-most row,There was half a dozen bruisers who'd agrudge at Bendigo.There was Tommy Piatt of Bradford,Solly Jones of Perry Bar,Long Connor from the Bull Ring, thesame wot drew with Carr,Jack Ball the fightin gunsmith, Joe Mur-phy from the Mews,And Iky Moss, the bettin' boss, theChampion of the Jews.A very pretty handful a-sittin' in astring,Full of beer and impudence, ripe for any-thing,Sittin' in a string there, right underBendy's nose,If his message was for sinners, he couldmake a start on those.Soon he heard them chaflin'; "Hi, Bendy!Here's a go!""How much are you coppin' by this Jumpto Glory show?""Stow it, Bendy! Left the ring! Mightyspry of you!Didn't everybody know the ring wasleavin' you."Bendy fairly sweated as he stood aboveand prayed,"Look down, O Lord, and grip me witha strangle hold!" he said."Fix me with a strangle hold! Put a stopon me!I'm slippin', Lord, I'm slippin' and I'mclingin' hard to Thee!"But the roughs they kept on chaffin' andthe uproar it was suchThat the preacher in the pulpit might betalkin' double Dutch,Till a workin' man he shouted out, a-jumpin' to his feet,"Give us a lead, your reverence, and heave'em in the street."Then Bendy said, "Good Lord, sincefirst I left my sinful ways,Thou knowest that to Thee alone I'vegiven up my days,But now, dear Lord"—and here he laid hisBible on the shelf—"I'll take, with your permission, just fiveminutes for myself."He vaulted from the pulpit like a tigerfrom a den,They say it was a lovely sight to see himfloor his men;Right and left, and left and right, straightand true and hard,Till the Ebenezer Chapel looked more likea knacker's yard.Platt was standin' on his back and lookupat his toes,Solly Jones of Perry Bar was feelin' forhis nose,Connor of the Bull Ring had all that hecould doRakin' for his ivories that lay about thepew.Jack Ball the fightin' gunsmith was in apeaceful sleep,Joe Murphy lay across him, all tied upin a heap,Five of them was twisted in a tangle onthe floor,And Iky Moss, the bettin' boss, hadsprinted for the door.Five repentant fightin' men, sitting in arow,Listenin' to words of grace from MisterBendigo,Listenin' to his reverence — all as goodas gold,Pretty little baa-lambs, gathered to thefold.So that's the way that Bendy ran hismission in the slum,And preached the Holy Gospel to thefightin' men of Brum,"The Lord," said he, "has given me Hismessage from on high,And if you interrupt Him, I will knowthe reason why."But to think of all your schooling cleanwasted, thrown away,Darned if I can make out what you'relearnin' all the day,Grubbin' up old fairy-tales, fillin' up withcram,And didn't know of Bendigo, the prideof Nottingham.
[Bendigo, the well-known Nottingham prize fighter, became converted to religion, and preached at revival meetings throughout the country.]
You didn't know of Bendigo! Well, thatknocks me out!Who's your board school teacher? What'she been about?Chock-a-block with fairy-tales — full ofuseless cram,And never heard o' Bendigo, the pride ofNottingham!Bendy's short for Bendigo. You shouldsee him peel!Half of him was whalebone, half of himwas steel,Fightin' weight eleven ten, five foot ninein height,Always ready to oblige if you want afight.I could talk of Bendigo from here to king-dom come,I guess before I ended you would wish yourdad was dumb.I'd tell you how he fought Ben Caunt, andhow the deaf 'un fell,But the game is done, and the men aregone — and maybe it's as well.Bendy he turned Methodist—he said hefelt a call,He stumped the country preachin' and youbet he filled the hall,If you seed him in the pulpit, a-bleatin'like a lamb,You'd never know bold Bendigo, thepride of Nottingham.His hat was like a funeral, he'd got awaiter's coat,With a hallelujah collar and a choker roundhis throat,His pals would laugh and say in chaff thatBendigo was right,In takin' on the devil, since he'd no oneelse to fight.But he was very earnest, improvin' day byday,A-workin' and a-preachin' just as his dutylay,But the devil he was waitin', and in thefinal bout,He hit him hard below his guard andknocked poor Bendy out.Now I'll tell you how it happened. Hewas preachin' down at Brum,He was billed just like a circus, you shouldsee the people come,The chapel it was crowded, and in the fore-most row,There was half a dozen bruisers who'd agrudge at Bendigo.There was Tommy Piatt of Bradford,Solly Jones of Perry Bar,Long Connor from the Bull Ring, thesame wot drew with Carr,Jack Ball the fightin gunsmith, Joe Mur-phy from the Mews,And Iky Moss, the bettin' boss, theChampion of the Jews.A very pretty handful a-sittin' in astring,Full of beer and impudence, ripe for any-thing,Sittin' in a string there, right underBendy's nose,If his message was for sinners, he couldmake a start on those.Soon he heard them chaflin'; "Hi, Bendy!Here's a go!""How much are you coppin' by this Jumpto Glory show?""Stow it, Bendy! Left the ring! Mightyspry of you!Didn't everybody know the ring wasleavin' you."Bendy fairly sweated as he stood aboveand prayed,"Look down, O Lord, and grip me witha strangle hold!" he said."Fix me with a strangle hold! Put a stopon me!I'm slippin', Lord, I'm slippin' and I'mclingin' hard to Thee!"But the roughs they kept on chaffin' andthe uproar it was suchThat the preacher in the pulpit might betalkin' double Dutch,Till a workin' man he shouted out, a-jumpin' to his feet,"Give us a lead, your reverence, and heave'em in the street."Then Bendy said, "Good Lord, sincefirst I left my sinful ways,Thou knowest that to Thee alone I'vegiven up my days,But now, dear Lord"—and here he laid hisBible on the shelf—"I'll take, with your permission, just fiveminutes for myself."He vaulted from the pulpit like a tigerfrom a den,They say it was a lovely sight to see himfloor his men;Right and left, and left and right, straightand true and hard,Till the Ebenezer Chapel looked more likea knacker's yard.Platt was standin' on his back and lookupat his toes,Solly Jones of Perry Bar was feelin' forhis nose,Connor of the Bull Ring had all that hecould doRakin' for his ivories that lay about thepew.Jack Ball the fightin' gunsmith was in apeaceful sleep,Joe Murphy lay across him, all tied upin a heap,Five of them was twisted in a tangle onthe floor,And Iky Moss, the bettin' boss, hadsprinted for the door.Five repentant fightin' men, sitting in arow,Listenin' to words of grace from MisterBendigo,Listenin' to his reverence — all as goodas gold,Pretty little baa-lambs, gathered to thefold.So that's the way that Bendy ran hismission in the slum,And preached the Holy Gospel to thefightin' men of Brum,"The Lord," said he, "has given me Hismessage from on high,And if you interrupt Him, I will knowthe reason why."But to think of all your schooling cleanwasted, thrown away,Darned if I can make out what you'relearnin' all the day,Grubbin' up old fairy-tales, fillin' up withcram,And didn't know of Bendigo, the prideof Nottingham.