CHAPTER VII.

“It is a strange thing to behold what gross errors and extreme absurdities men do commit for want of a friend to tell them of the same! The help of good counsel is that which setteth business straight.”—Bacon.

I have, for many years, visited nearly every town in the kingdom, on commercial pursuits, at intervals of six months; and wherever I have met with the brazen advertisers alluded to, I have issued public notices, and inserted counter-advertisements, to put my friends and the public on their guard against such egregious imposition. Such a step, spiritedly carried out, has uniformly proved successful, and the notable pretenders have decamped from Bath to Norwich, from Brighton to Carlisle, sometimes assuming other names, or changing the initial letters; as S. and E., who had been vapouring away at Norwich, suddenly flitted to Margate, and there announced themselves as C. and B., the celebrated opticians from the Royal Eye Infirmaries, &c. &c. For low cunning and unprincipled trickery, such adventurers as I have described, stand unrivalled. Upon several occasions they have echoed my cautions, and copied, word for word, remarks levelled at themselves; hoping thus to shield themselves from detection, and confuse the public in identifying them; as the pick-pocket, whenthe hue and cry is raised of stop-thief, joins in the shout, in order to allay suspicion.

It is in the provincial towns that such persons are most successful; the game is seldom played in the metropolis with so much effect; and although some of the tribe have been lately launching forth dashing advertisements in the London papers, it is understood to be with the design of attracting country customers, and overwhelming their dupes with an idea of theirprofessionalimportance, rather than with the expectation of effecting sales in London.

When they sally forth to “fleece the natives,” who would think of questioning the abilities of such renowned opticians, armed with testimonials, credentials, and certificates!sorecommended by the newspapers, and patronized by such eminent practitioners?!!

The fair trader would defend himself at the same time that he unmasked imposture, and protected his customers, if, when his neighbourhood is infested by such mountebanks, he advertised the simple truth. He would assuredly find

“That those base slaves, ’ere yet the fight be done, pack up.”

A few extracts from the advertisements I have inserted in the London and provincial journals may be useful as specimens.

“Spectacle swindlers are now practising deceptions upon the public to an unparalleled extent! They are principally wandering tribes of licensed hawkers, who change their names, or shift their residences, as occasion requires; copy the language of honest men, and puff off, as their own inventions, the very articles, which, without a shade of difference, have been regularly made and sold for above two hundred years. To accomplish their designs of fleecingthe public, they resort to the most pompous and extravagant eulogiums on the peculiar virtues of their ‘Saxon Crystals!’ ‘Patent Preservers!’ ‘Tinted Amber!’ and ‘Light Refractors!’ ridiculous terms, whichthey haveinvented, and which, embellished with a long list of distinguished names, are calculated to entrap, and impose upon the uninitiated.“Spectacle wearers, beware! those tricksters, with all their lofty pretensions, are ignorant quacks. Their charges for the trash they foist upon you, are beyond all precedent, enormous!“The flagrant impositions daily practised on Spectacle wearers, by hawkers and ignorant pretenders, imperatively demand exposure. The boasting charlatans are certainly indebted to the silence of practical opticians for their successful career, since persons requiring optical aid eagerly listen to whoever promises most. To those who have been victimized not another word is necessary to direct their choice, but experience calls on all who need optical remedies to profit by advice, and procure such important scientific instruments only of the known working optician or his resident agent, and thereby insure every advantage—better quality, lower charges, a liberal trial, and an exchange if not approved of.”

“Spectacle wearers, beware! those tricksters, with all their lofty pretensions, are ignorant quacks. Their charges for the trash they foist upon you, are beyond all precedent, enormous!

“The flagrant impositions daily practised on Spectacle wearers, by hawkers and ignorant pretenders, imperatively demand exposure. The boasting charlatans are certainly indebted to the silence of practical opticians for their successful career, since persons requiring optical aid eagerly listen to whoever promises most. To those who have been victimized not another word is necessary to direct their choice, but experience calls on all who need optical remedies to profit by advice, and procure such important scientific instruments only of the known working optician or his resident agent, and thereby insure every advantage—better quality, lower charges, a liberal trial, and an exchange if not approved of.”

“The patronage such individuals quote has never been bestowed, or has been surreptitiously obtained. Mr. C. has documents from celebrated oculists stating this fact most unequivocally, and authorizing him to give publicity thereto. He has the gratification of knowing that his efforts to expose such fraudulent delusions, to defend the fair trader, and to protect the public, have been properly appreciated by the reflecting and intelligent, who perceive the impropriety of countenancing persons who resort to falsehood, misrepresentation, and dishonest artifices; and allow the superior claim of the respectable resident shopkeeper, whose charges are fair, whose desire and interest it obviously must be to supply the articlewhich will suit and to make any exchange or alteration if required.

“Beware of the tricksters who blazon forth their pretended discoveries, in terms which, however absurd and ridiculous, nevertheless catch the attention; and combined with an array of great names, unbounded assurance, and various manœuvring devices, enable them to foist their worthless wares upon purchasers at the most exorbitant prices.

“Such charlatans are the pests of science, and speculators on the credulity of society.

“Mr. C. feels assured that his friends, and the public generally, will remark the necessity there is for some one, practically acquainted with the science of optics, to come forward and state the real facts of the case, at a time when bombast and chicanery, supported by the most shameless falsehoods, are put forth by itinerant hawkers and pedlars—the pretended discoverers of a superior method of constructing glasses for spectacles. He is anxious to expose such deceptions, and to protect the Spectacle wearer from the gross frauds and impositions continually practised in the sale of Spectacles at enormous prices, although made of the cheapest material, and in the most inferior manner.

“Such Spectacles are productive of endless annoyance to the wearer; and, instead of rendering any assistance are instruments of torture, producing the most serious consequences to the sight, owing to their imperfect construction and the misapplication of their powers to the purposes required.

“Persons requiring Spectacles are earnestly recommended to seek advice and assistance from opticians ortheir agents, of known respectability and experience, who are capable of judging what kind of lenses are necessary in each particular case: and to avoid those charlatans whose ignorance of optics is only equalled by their impudence, in obtruding themselves into houses, and alarming the occupiers by declaring that they perceive serious defects in their eyes, the formation of cataract, incipient blindness, &c., in order to give an exalted idea of the value of the remedies they offer.”

“T. H., Watch and Clock maker, agent to Cox, optician of London, begs to caution his friends against the impositions of itinerant hawkers, who boast of exalted patronage, wonderful discoveries, and superior skill in optics, professing to suit the sight by merely examining ‘the figure of the eye.’ Such individuals frequently enter into respectable houses, and terrify ladies and gentlemen by declaring that they perceive serious defects in their eyes, and, of course, that nothing can avert the evil but their wonderful Spectacles; sometimes pretending that their only motive in calling is from their wish to relieve mankind from the chances of losing their sight, and to enable them to see as well at fourscore years of age as at twenty, while their main object is to fill their pockets at the expense of those who have fallen into their snare.

“The fallacy of their statements may always be ascertained by the parties taking medical opinion of known value, and consulting a respectable optician.

“It cannot be too generally known that the best glasslenses, constructed on the most accurate principles, suited to the purposes of vision, and worked by hand, can be had of all respectable opticians, at from one shilling and sixpence to three shillings per pair, shewing that there can be no occasion for persons, who require a change of glasses in their spectacles, to pay a guinea or thirty shillings, and give up their old pebbles or glasses into the bargain.

“A trick was practised at Brighton, during the season of 1834, which shews that those certificated gentry do not hesitate at trifles.

“Two Jews, licensed hawkers, inserted glowing advertisements in the Brighton newspapers, couched in their usual bombastic style, but namingone gentlemanonly as having taken up his residence at Brighton, and stating that he would wait upon the nobility and gentry with a splendid stock of hiswonderfulandimprovedSpectacles.

“A man called at the houses of the gentry, made many sales at the usual swindling prices, and disarmed all suspicions by inviting the purchasers to call at his residence, and make any exchange they pleased. In some cases, where the price was objected to, or the parties were taken by surprise, not having suspected that they wanted Spectacles until thisexperienced professional opticiantold them they did, they were, notwithstanding imposed upon, ‘for,’ said he, ‘to prove that I am anxious to preserve your sight, which is rapidly leaving you, and cataract is growing in your eyes, these Spectacles, which are five pounds per pair, I will leave you at half-price, and you may pay me the balance at any time.’ This offer appeared so very liberal that it succeeded in several instances, and, it is scarcely necessary to say, left to thehawker forty shillings profit, five pounds being only mentioned to get more easily the smaller sum.

“But the most profitable part of the scheme is yet to be told. Those who purchased soon found that something was wrong—the patent preservers gave great uneasiness to the eyes, which, suffused with tears, seemed to grieve at the simplicity and credulity of their owners. The residence of Mr. —— was besieged with complaining purchasers, who, when their turn arrived, were ushered into the presence of the other of the partners, and as the person who had sold them the Spectacles promised to make any exchange they required, they asked for a pair which would suit their sight, or a return of the money paid. The man they now saw looked at them, and asked, ‘Am I the person who sold you the spectacles?’ ‘Why, no,’ was the reply, ‘I cannot say you were the gentleman, but he was uncommonly like you, and he told me he would exchange the Spectacles if they did not suit.’

“‘Then you had better find him and compel him to do so, for the trash he has sold you will destroy your eyes and ruin your sight. He is an impostor; I know nothing of him.’ ‘Bless me,’ said the disappointed purchaser, ‘what a scandalous shame! what would you advise me to do now, Sir?’

“‘Why,mySpectacles are produced after twenty years of deep study and research, and manufactured, under my own eyes, upon improved principles, yet I only ask fifty shillings per pair; but I am sorry for you and though those you have bought are vile rubbish, I will take them in exchange, and thirty-five shillings for my Patent Tinted Crystals, which are the only Spectacles properfor the eyes.’ Thus the reader will perceive a double imposition was effected. A., after performing his part in the scheme of deception, kept out of the way until B. had completed the fleecing of the nobility, gentry, and public, and in a few weeks theresidentopticians were on their way to other places, chuckling at their success, and inventing fresh plans of operation.”

Page after page has been pirated from the works of eminent authors, and palmed upon the public as their own composition; consequently, though the advice may be excellent, the parties from whom it appears to emanate are vile plagiarists, whosepracticeis quite uninfluenced thereby. When imposture disguises itself in such a plausible form the difficulty of detection is increased, therefore our best security against deception is to transact business with men of known reputation. The resident tradesman has a character for fair and honourable dealing to maintain. He can be appealed to if any exchange or alteration is requisite, and the spirit of fair competition, now abroad, is the best security against overcharge from him; while the itinerant vender and pompous advertiser has to repay himself for such forced and expensive means of getting custom by exacting great prices, pushing off coarse and inferior goods, and practising any dishonest trick rather than not effect a sale of his wares. It may be said, with great truth, “his articles are not cried up because they are things that ought to be desired, but they are desired because they are generally cried up.”

The Liverpool Mercury of Friday, Sep. 15th, 1834, has some remarks on this subject, which, as they are important and appropriate to our purpose, I transcribe:—

“We beg to caution our readers against the arts of all those who profess to supply the public with superior Spectacles; we have been for many years connected with the business, and we can assure the public that the Spectacle glasses sold by the advertising eye quacks are precisely the same as those provided by any respectable optician, the only difference being in the price. The charlatan varies his charge according to the gullibility of his dupes; sometimes he puts up with double the proper and regular price, but more frequently he exacts three or four times more than a regular and honest optician charges. We recollect a once famous optical quack, in London, who made a large fortune by cheating the public. He advertisedhissuperior glasses, which he assured the public were all ground to the true parabolic curve by his own hand, and for each of these glasses he charged four shillings, whilst the working optician who lived a few doors from him, and who furnished him with all his glasses, could only get nine pence for the very article for which the puffing eye doctor charged four shillings. As we knew both the parties we pledge ourselves to the fact, and, in conclusion, we advise the public to have nothing to do with quacks, whether they be scientific quacks, who are plentiful enough, or other quacks, who swindle people out of their health and cash at the same time.”

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