EnterMATTIEandSUSAN.
Sus. Now, Mattie, we're close to the house, an' I don't want to be seen with you, for she's mad atme.
Mat. You must have made her mad, then, Sue.
Sus. She madded me first: what else when she wouldn't believe a word I said? She'd ha' sworn on the gospel book, we sent the parcel up the spout. But she'll believeyou, an' give you something, and then we'll have a chop!
Mat. How can you expect that, Sue, when the work's lost?
Sus. Never mind; you go and see.
Mat. I shan't take it, Susan. I couldn't.
Sus. Stuff and nonsense! I'll wait you round the corner: I don't like the smell o' them pastry things.
Exit. MATTIEwalks past the window.
Mat. I don't like going. It makes me feel a thief to be suspected.
Bill. Lor! it's our Mattie! There's our Mattie!—Mattie! Mattie!
Mat. Ah, Bill! you're there—are you?
Bill. Yes, Mattie. It's a tart-show. You walks up and takes yer chice;—leastways, you makes it: somebody else takes it.
Mat. Wouldn't you like totakeyour choice sometimes, Bill?
Bill. In course I would.
Mat. Then why don't you work, and better yourself a bit?
Bill. Bless you, Mattie! myself is werry comf'able. He never complains.
Mat. You're hungry sometimes,—ain't you?
Bill. Most remarkable 'ungry, Mattie—this werry moment. Odd you should ask now—ain't it?
Mat. You would get plenty to eat if you would work.
Bill. Thank you—I'd rayther not. Them as ain't 'ungry never enj'ys their damaged tarts. If I'm 'appy, vere's the odds? as the cat said to the mouse as wanted to be let off the engagement. Why should I work more'n any other gen'leman?
Mat. A gentleman that don't work is a curse to his neighbours, Bill.
Bill. Bless you, Mattie! I ain't a curse—nohow to nobody. I don't see as you've got any call to say that, Mattie. I don't go fakin' clies, or crackin' cribs—nothin' o' the sort. An' I don't mind doin' of a odd job, if itisa odd one. Don't go for to say that again, Mattie.
Mat. I won't, then, Bill. But just look at yourself!—You're all in rags.
Bill. Rags is the hairier, as the Skye terrier said to the black-an'-tan.—I shouldn't object to a new pair of old trousers, though.
Mat. Why don't you have a pair of real new ones? If you would only sweep a crossing—
Bill. There ain't, a crossin' but what's took. Besides, my legs ain't put together for one place all day long. It ain't to be done, Mattie. They can't do it.
Mat. There's the shoe-black business, then.
Bill. That ain't so bad, acause you can shoulder your box and trudge. But if it's all the same to you, Mattie, I'd rayther enj'y life: they say it's short.
Mat. But it ain't the same to me. It's so bad for you to be idle, Bill!
Bill. Not as I knows on. I'm tollable jolly, so long's I gets the browns for my bed.
Mat. Wouldn't you like a bed with a blanket to it?
Bill. Well, yes—if it was guv to me. But I don't go in for knocking of yourself about, to sleep warm.
Mat. Well, look here, Bill. It's all Susan and I can do to pay for our room, and get a bit of bread and a cup of tea. It ain't enough.—If you were to earn a few pence now—
Bill. Oh golly! I never thought o' that. What a hass I wur, to be sure! I'll go a shoe-blackin' to-morror—I will.
Mat. Did you ever black a shoe, Bill?
Bill. I tried a boot oncet—when Jim wor a blackin' for a day or two. But I made nothink on it—nothink worth mentionin'. The blackin' or som'at was wrong. The gen'leman said it wur coal-dust, an he'd slog me, an' adwised me to go an' learn my trade.
Mat. And what did you say to that?
Bill. Holler'd out "Shine yer boots!" as loud as I could holler.
Mat. You must try my boots next time you come.
Bill. This wery night, Mattie. I'll make 'em shine like plate glass—see then if I don't. But where'll I get a box and brushes?
Mat. You shall have our brushes and my footstool.
Bill. I see! Turn the stool upside down, put the brushes in, and carry it by one leg—as drunken Moll does her kid.—Here you are, sir! Black your boots, sir?—Shine your trotters, sir? (bawling.)
Mat. That'll do; that'll do, Bill! Famous! You needn't do it again (holding her ears). Would you like a tart?
Bill. Just wouldn't I, then!—Shine your boooooots!
Mat. (laughing). Do hold your tongue, Bill. There's a penny for a tart.
Bill. Thank you, Mattie. Thank you.
Exit into the shop.
Jack and Jim(touching their supposed caps). Please, ma'am! Please, ma'am! I likes 'em too. I likes 'em more 'n Bill.
Mat. I'm very sorry, but—(feeling in her pocket) I've got a ha'penny, I believe. No—there's a penny! You must share it, you know. (Gives it to Jack. Knocks at Mrs. Clifford's door.)
Jack and Jim. Thank you, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am.
ExitMATTIEintoMRS. CLIFFORD'S.
Jim. Now, Jack, what's it to be?
Jack. I believe I shall spend it in St. Martin's Lane.
Jim. A ha'p'orth on it's mine, you know, Jack.
Jack. Well, you do put the stunners on me!
Jim. She said we wos to divide it—she did.
Jack. 'Taint possible. It beats my ivories. (He pretends to bite it. JIMflies at him in a rage.)
Re-enterBILL,with his mouth full.
Bill. Now what are you two a squabblin' over? Oh! Jack's got a yennep, and Jim's iookin' shirty.
Jim. She told him to divide it, and he won't.
Bill. Who told him?
Jim. Mattie.
Bill. You dare, Jack? Hand over.
Jack. Be hanged if I do.
Bill. Then do and be hanged. (A struggle.) There, Jim! Now you go and buy what you like.
Jim. Am I to give Jack the half?
Bill. Yes, if our Mattie said it.
Jim. All right, Bill. (Goes into the shop.)
Jack. I owe you one for that, Bill.
Bill. Owe it me then, Jack. I do like fair play—always did (eating).
Jack. You ain't a sharin' ofyouryennep, Bill.
Bill. Mattie didn't say I was to. She knowed one wouldn't break up into three nohow. 'Tain't in natur', Jack.
Jack. You might ha' guv me a bite, anyhow, Bill.
Bill. It ain't desirable, Jack—size o' trap dooly considered. Here comes your share.
Re-enterJIM.Gives a bun toJACK.
Jim. I tell you what, Bill—she ain'tyourMattie. She ain't nobody's Mattie; she's a hangel.
Bill. No, Jim, she ain't a hangel; she 'ain't got no wings, leastways outside her clo'es, and she 'ain't got clo'es enough to hide 'em. I wish I wos a hangel!
Jack. At it again, Bill! Idolike to hear Bill a wishin' of hisself! Why, Bill?
Bill. Acause they're never 'ungry.
Jack. How do you know they ain't?
Bill. You never sees 'em loafin' about nowheres.
Jim. Is Mattie your sister, Bill?
Bill. No, Jim; I ain't good 'nough to have a sister like she.
Jack. Your sweetheart, Bill? Ha! ha! ha!
Bill. Dry up, Jack.
Jim. Tell me about her, Bill.Ididn't jaw you.
Bill. She lives in our court, Jim. Makes shirts and things.
Jack. Oh! ho!
BILLhitsJACK. JACKdoubles himself up.
Bill. Jim, our Mattie ain't like other gals; I never see her out afore this blessed day—upon my word and honour, Jim, never!
Jack. (wiping his nose with his sleeve). You don't know a joke from a jemmy, Bill.
Bill. I'll joke you!—A hangel tips you a tart, and you plucks her feathers! Get on t'other side of the way, you little dirty devil, or I'll give you another smeller—cheap too. Off with you!
Jack. No, Bill; no, please. I'm wery sorry. I ain't so bad's all that comes to.
Bill. If you wants to go with Jim and me, then behave like a gen'leman.
Jim. I calls our Mattie a brick!
Bill. None o'yourjaw, Jim! She ain'tyourMattie.
Enter THOMAS.
Tho.Childer, dun yo know th' way to Paradise—Row, or Road, or summat?
Bill. Dunnow, sir. You axes at the Sunday-school.
Tho.Wheer's th' Sunday-school, chylt?
Bill. Second door round the corner, sir.
Tho.Second dur reawnd th' corner! Which corner, my man?
Bill. Roundanycorner. Second door's all-ways Sunday-school. (Takes a sight. Exeunt boys.)
THOMASsits down on a door-step.
Tho.Eh, but aw be main weary! Surely th' Lord dunnot be a forsakin' ov mo. There's that abeawt th' lost ship. Oop yon, wheer th' angels keep greight flocks ov 'em, they dunnot like to lose one ov 'em, an' they met well be helpin' ov mo to look for mo lost lamb i' this awful plaze! What has th' shepherd o' th' sheep himsel' to do, God bless him! but go look for th' lost ones and carry 'em whoam! O Lord! gie mo mo Mattie. Aw'm a silly ship mosel, a sarchin' for mo lost lamb. (Boys begin to gather and stare.) She's o' the world to me. O Lord, hear mo, and gie mo mo Mattie. Nea, aw'll geet oop, and go look again. (Rises.)
First Boy. Ain't he a cricket, Tommy?
Second Boy. Spry, ain't he? Prod him, and see him jump. (General insult.)
Tho.Why, childer, what have aw done, that yo cry after mo like a thief?
First Boy. Daddy Longlegs! Daddy Longlegs!
They hustle and crowd him. Re-enterBILL. THOMASmakes a rush.They run. He seizesBILL.They gather again.
Tho.Han yo getten a mother, lad?
Bill. No, thank ye. 'Ain't got no mother. Come of a haunt, I do.
First Boy. Game!—ain't he?
Tho.Well, aw'll tak yo whoam to yor aunt—aw wull.
Bill. Will you now, old chap? Wery well. (Squats.)
Tho.(holding him up by the collar, and shaking his stick over him). Tell mo wheer's por aunt, or aw'll breyk every bone i' yor body.
Bill(wriggling and howling and rubbing his eyes with alternate sleeves). Let me go, I say. Let me go and I'll tell ye. I will indeed, sir.
Tho.(letting go) Wheer then, mo lad?
Bill(starting up). I' the church-cellar, sir—first bin over the left—feeds musty, and smells strong. Ho! ho! ho! (Takes a sight.)
THOMASmakes a dart. BILLdodges him.
First Boy. Ain't he a cricketnow, Tommy?
Second Boy. Got one leg too many for a cricket, Sam.
Third Boy. That's what he jerks hisself with, Tommy.
Tho.Boys, I want to be freens wi' yo. Here's a penny.
One of the boys knocks it out of his hand. A scramble.
Tho.Now, boys, dun yo know wheer's a young woman bi th' name ov Mattie—somewheer abeawt Paradise Row?
First Boy. Yes, old un.
Second Boy. Lots on 'em.
Third Boy. Which on em' do you want, Mr. Cricket?
Fourth Boy. You ain't peticlar, I s'pose, old corner-bones?
First Boy. Don't you fret, old stilts. We'll find you a Mattie. There's plenty on 'em—all nice gals.
Tho.I want mo own Mattie.
First Boy. Why, you'd never tell one from t'other on 'em!
Third Boy. All on 'em wery glad to see old Daddy Longlegs!
Tho.Oh dear! Oh dear! What an awful plaze this Lon'on do be! To see the childer so bad!
Second Boy. Don't cry, gran'pa.She'd chaff you worser 'n us! We're only poor little innocent boys. We don't know nothink, bless you! Oh no!
First Boy. You'd better let her alone, arter all, bag o' nails.
Second Boy. She'll have it out on you now, for woppin' of her when she wor a kid.
First Boy. She's a wopper herself now.
Third Boy. Mighty fine, with your shirt for a great-coat. He! he! he!
Fourth Boy. Mattie never kicks us poor innocent boys—cos we 'ain't got no mothers to take our parts. Boo hoo!
EnterJACK—his hands in his pockets.
Jack. What's the row, Bill?
Bill. Dunnow, Jack. Old chap collared me when I wasn't alludin' to him. He's after some Mattie or other. It can't be our Mattie.Shewouldn't never have such a blazin' old parient as that.
Jack. Supposin' it was your Mattie, Bill, would you split, and let Scull-and-cross-bones nab her?
Bill. Would I? Would I 'and over our Mattie to her natural enemy? Did you ax it, Jack?
Jack. Natural enemy! My eye, Bill! what words you fakes!
Bill. Ain't he her natural enemy, then? Ain't it yer father as bumps yer 'ed, an' cusses ye, an' lets ye see him eat? Afore he gets our Mattie, I'll bite!
Tho.Poor lad! poor lad! Dunnot say that! Her feyther's th' best freen' hoo's getten. Th' moor's th' pity, for it's not mich he can do for her. But he would dee for her—he would.
Boys (all together). Go along, Daddy-devil! Pick yer own bones, an'ha' done.Bag-raker!Skin-cat!Bag o' nails!Scull-an'-cross-bones!Old Daddy Longlegs wouldn't say his prayers—Take him by his left leg, and throw him downstairs.Go along! Go to hell!We'll skin you.Melt ye down for taller, we will.Only he 'ain't got none, the red herrin'!They throw things at him. He sits down on the door-step, and covershis head with his arms. EnterCOL. G.Boys run off.
Tho.Oh, mo Mattie! mo Mattie!
Col. G.Poor old fellow! Are you hurt?
Tho.Eh!yobe a followin' ov mo too!
Col. G.What are you doing here?
Tho.What am aw doin' yere! Thee knows well enough what aw're a doin' yere. It 're o' thy fau't, mon.
Col. G.Why, you've got a blow! Your head is cut! Poor old fellow!
Tho.Never yo mind mo yed.
Col. G.You must go home.
Tho.Goo whoam, says to! Aw goo no-wheers but to th' grave afoor aw've feawnd mo chylt.
Col. G.Come along with me; I will do all I can to find her. Perhaps I can help you after all.
Tho.Aw mak nea deawbt o' that, mon. And thae seems a gradely chap. Aw'm a'most spent. An' aw'm sick, sick! Dunnot let th' boys shove mo abeawt again.
Col. G.I will not. They shan't come near you. Take my arm. Poor old fellow! If you would but trust me! Hey! Cab there!
Exeunt.EnterSUSAN,peeping.
Sus. I wonder whatever's come to Mattie! It's long time she was out again.
EnterMATTIE,hurriedly.
Mat. Oh, Susan! Susan! (Falls.)
Sus. Mattie! Mattie! (Kneels beside her, and undoes her bonnet.)
EnterPOLICEMAN.
Pol. What ails her? (Goes to lift her.)
Sus. Leave her alone, will you? Let her head down. Get some water.
Pol. Drunk—is she?
Sus. Hold your tongue, you brute! If she'd a satin frock on, i'stead o' this here poor cotton gownd, you'd ha' showed her t'other side o' your manners! Get away with you. You're too ugly to look at.—Mattie! Mattie! Look up, child.
Pol. She mustn't lie there.
Mat. Susan!
Pol. Come, my girl.
Sus. You keep off, I tell you! Don't touch her. She's none o' your sort. Come, Mattie, dear.—Why don't you make 'em move on?
Pol. You'd better keep a civil tongue in your head, young woman.
Sus. You live lobster!
Pol. I'll have to lock you up, I see. One violent. T'other incapable.
Sus. You're another. Mattie, my dear, come along home.
Pol. That's right; be off with you.
MATTIErises.
Mat. Let's go. Sue! Let's get farther off.
Sus. You can't walk, child. If I hadn't been so short o' wittles for a week, I could ha' carried you. But it's only a step to the cook-shop.
Mat. No money, Sue. (Tries to walk.)
Sus. O Lord! WhatshallI do! And that blue-bottle there a buzzin' an' a starin' at us like a dead codfish!—Boh!
EnterBILL.
Bill. Our Mattie! Gracious! what's the row, Susan?
Sus. She ain't well. Take her other arm, Bill, and help her out o' this. We ain't in no Christian country. Pluck up, Mattie, dear.
Bill. Come into the tart-shop. I'm a customer.
They go towards the shop. ExitPOLICEMAN.
Mat. No, no, Sukey! I can't abide the smell of it. Let me sit on the kerb for a minute. (Sits down.) Oh, father! father!
Bill. Never you mind, Mattie! If he wor twenty fathers, he shan't come near ye.
Mat. Oh, Bill! if you could find him for me! He would take me home.
Bill. Now who'd ha' thought o' that? Axially wantin' her own father! I'd run far enough out o' the way o' mine—an' farther if he wur a-axin' arter me.
Mat. Oh me! my side!
Sus. It's hunger, poor dear! (Sits down beside her.)
Bill(aside). This won't do, Bill! I'm a shamed o'you, Bill!Exit.
Mat. No, Susan, it's not hunger. It's the old story, Sue.
Sus. Mattie! I never! You don't mean to go for to tell me you're a breakin' of your precious heart abouthim? It's not your gentleman surely! It's nothimye're turnin' sick about, this time o' day?
MATTIEnods her head listlessly.
Sus. What's up fresh, then? You was pretty bobbish when you left me. It's little he thinks ofyou, I'll be bound.
Mat. That's true enough. It's little he ever thought of me. Hedidsay he loved me, though. It's fifty times he did!
Sus. Lies, lies, Mattie—all lies!
Mat. No, Susan; it wasn't lies. He meant it—at the time. That's what made it look all right. Oh dear! Oh dear!
Sus. But what's come to you now, Mattie? What's fresh in it? You're not turned like this all at once for nothink!
Mat. I've seen him!
Sus. Seen him! Oh, my! I wish it had been me.I'd ha' seen him! I'd ha' torn his ugly eyes out.
Mat. They ain't ugly eyes. They're big and blue, and they sparkle so when he talks to her!
Sus. And who'sher? Ye didn't mention aher. Some brazen-faced imperence!
Mat. No. The young lady at Mrs. Clifford's.
Sus. Oho! See if I do a stitch for her!—Shan't I leave a needle inhershimmy, just!
Mat. WhatshallI do! All the good's gone out of me! And such a pain here!
Sus. Keep in yer breath a minute, an' push yer ribs out. It's one on 'em's got a top o' the other.
Mat. Such a grand creature! And her colour coming and going like the shadows on the corn! It's no wonder he forgot poor me. But it'll burn itself out afore long.
Sus. Don't ye talk like that, Mattie; I can't abear it.
Mat. If I was dressed like her, though, and could get my colour back! But laws! I'm such a washed out piece o' goods beside her!
Sus. That's as I say, Matilda! It's the dress makes the differ.
Mat. No, Susan, it ain't. It's the free look of them—and the head up—and the white hands—and the taper fingers. They're stronger than us, and they're that trained like, that all their body goes in one, like the music at a concert.Icouldn't pick up a needle without going down on my knees after it. It's the pain in my side, Sue.—Yes, it's a fine thing to be born a lady. It'snotthe clothes, Sue. If we was dressed ever so, we couldn't come near them. It's that look,—I don't know what.
Sus. Speak for yerself, Mattie;I'm not a goin' to think such small beer ofmyself,Ican tell you! I believe if I'd been took in time—
Mat. It's a bigifthat though, Sue.—And then she lookedsogood! You'd hardly think it of me,—perhaps it's because I'm dying—but for one minute I could ha' kissed her very shoes. Oh, my side!
Sus. (putting her arm tight round her waist). Does that help it Mattie, dear?—a little teeny bit?
Mat. Yes, Sukey. It holds it together a bit. Will he break her heart too, I wonder?
Sus. No fear o' that! Ladies takes care o' theirselves. They're brought up to it.
Mat. It's only poor girls gentlemen don't mind hurting, I suppose.
Sus. It's the ladies' fathers and brothers, Mattie! We've got nobody to look after us.
Mat. They may break their hearts, though, for all that.
Sus. They won't forgive them like you, then, Mattie!
Mat. I dare say they're much the same as we are when it comes to that, Sue.
Sus. Don't sayme, Mattie.Iwouldn't forgive him—no, not if I was to die for it. But what came of it, child?
Mat. I made some noise, I suppose, and the lady started.
Sus. And then you up and spoke?
Mat. I turned sick, and fell down.
Sus. Poor dear!
Mat. She got me a glass of wine, but I couldn't swallow it, and got up and crawled out.
Sus. Did he see you?
Mat. I think he did.
Sus. You'll tell her, in course?
Mat. No, Sue; he'd hate me, and I couldn't bear that. Oh me! my side! It's so bad!
Sus. Let's try for home, Mattie. It's a long way, and there's nothing to eat when you're there; but you can lie down, and that's everything to them as can't sit up.
Mat. (rising). I keep fancying I'm going to meet my father.
Sus. Let's fancy it then every turn all the way home, an' that'll get us along. There, take my arm. There!—Come along.Exeunt.
Slow music. Twilight.EnterBILLwith a three-legged stool, brushes, etc.
Bill. Come! it's blackin' all over! When gents can't no longer see their boots, 'tain't much use offerin' to shine 'em. But if I can get a penny, I will. Imusttake a tart to Mattie, or this here damaged one (laying his hand on his stomach) won't go to sleep this night.
EnterWATERFIELD.
Bill. Black your boots for a party, sir?
Wat. (aside) The very rascal I saw her speaking to! But wasn't she a brick not to split! That's what I call devotion now! Therearesome of them capable of it. I'll set her up for life. I'd give a cool thousand it hadn't happened, though. I saw her father too hanging about Gervaise's yesterday.
Bill. Clean your boots, sir? Shine 'em till they grin like a Cheshire cat eatin' cheese!
Wat. Shine away, you beggar.
Bill(turning up his trousers). I ain't no beggar, sir. Shine for a shiner's fair play.
Wat. Do you live in this neighbourhood?
Bill. No, sir.
Wat. Where, then?
Bill(feeling where a pocket should be). I don't appear to 'ave a card about me, sir, but my address is Lamb's Court, Camomile Street—leastways I do my sleepin' not far off of it. I've lived there, what livin' Ihavedone, sin' ever I wor anywheres as I knows on.
Wat. Do you happen to know a girl of the name of Pearson?
Bill. No, sir. I can't say as how I rec'lect the name. Is she a old girl or a young un?
Wat. You young liar! I saw you talking to her not two hours ago!
Bill. Did ye now, sir? That's odd, ain't it? Bless you! I talks to everybody. I ain't proud, sir.
Wat. Well, do you see this? (holding up a sovereign).
Bill. That's one o' them tilings what don't require much seein', sir. There! Bright as a butterfly! T'other twin, sir!
Wat. I'll give you this, if you'll do something for me—and another to that when the thing's done.
Bill. 'Tain't stealin', sir?
Wat. No.
Bill. Cos, you see, Mattie—
Wat. Who did you say?
Bill. Old Madge as lets the beds at tuppence a short night. 'Tain't stealin', you say, sir?
Wat. What do you take me for? I want you to find out for me where the girl Pearson lives—that's all.
Bill(snatching the sovereign and putting it in his mouth). Now then, sir!—What's the young woman like?
Wat. Rather tall—thin—dark hair—large dark eyes—and long white hands. Her name's Matilda—Mattie Pearson—the girl you were talking to, I tell you, on this very spot an hour or two ago.
Bill(dropping the sovereign, and stooping to find it). Golly! itisour Mattie!
Wat. Shall you know her again?
Bill. Any boy as wasn't a hass would know his own grandmother by them spots. Besides, I remember sich a gal addressin' of me this mornin'. If you say her it was, I'll detect her for ye.
Wat. There's a good boy! What's your name?
Bill. Timothy, sir.
Wat. What else?
Bill. Never had no other—leastways as I knows on.
Wat. Well, Timothy—there's the other sov.—and it's yours the moment you take me to her. Look at it.
Bill. My eye!—Is she a square Moll, sir?
Wat. What do you mean by that?
Bill. Green you are, to be sure!—She ain't one as steals, or—
Wat. Not she. She's a sempstress—a needlewoman, or something of the sort.
Bill. And where shall I findyou, sir?
Wat. Let me see:—to-morrow night—on the steps of St. Martin's Church—ten o'clock.
Bill. But if I don't find her? It may be a week—or a month—or—
Wat. Come whether you find her or not, and let me know.
Bill. All serene, sir! There you are, sir! Brush your trousers, sir?
Wat. No; leave 'em.—Don't forget now.
Bill. Honour bright, sir! Not if I knows it, sir!
Wat. There's that other skid, you know.
Bill. All right, sir! Anything more, sir?
Wat. Damn your impudence! Get along.
Exit. BILLwatches him intoMRS. CLIFFORD'S.
Bill. Now by all the 'ungry gums of Arabiar, 'ere's a swell arter our Mattie!—A right rig'lar swell! I knows 'em—soverings an' red socks. What's come to our Mattie? 'Ere's Daddy Longlegs arter her, vith his penny and his blessin'! an' 'ere's this 'ere mighty swell vith his soverings—an' his red socks! An' she's 'ungry, poor gal!—This 'ere yellow-boy?—I 'ain't got no faith in swells—no more 'n in Daddy Longlegses—I 'ain't!—S'posin' he wants to marry her?—Not if I knows it. He ain't half good 'nough forher. Too many quids—goin' a flingin' on 'em about like buttons! He's been a crackin' o' cribs—hehas. I ain't a goin' to interduce our Mattie to no sich blokes as him. No fathers or lovyers for me—says I!—But this here pebble o' Paradise!—What's to be done wi' the cherub? I can't tellhera lie about it, an' who'll break it up for a cove like me, lookin' jes' as if I'd been an' tarred myself and crep' through a rag-bag! They'd jug me. An' what 'ud Mattie say then? I wish I 'adn't 'a' touched it. I'm blowed if I don't toss it over a bridge!—Then the gent 'ain't got the weight on his dunop out o' me. O Lord! whatshallI do with it? I wish I'd skied it in his face! I don't believe it's a good un; I don't! (Bites it.) It do taste wery nasty. It's nothin' better 'n a gilt fardin'! Jes' what a cove might look for from sich a swell! (Goes to a street lamp and examines it.) Lor! there's a bobby! (Exit. Re-enter to the lamp.) I wish the gen'leman 'ad guv me a penny. I can't do nothin' wi' this 'ere quid. Vere am I to put it? I 'ain't got no pocket, an' if I was to stow it in my 'tato-trap, I couldn't wag my red rag—an' Mother Madge 'ud soon have me by the chops. Nor I've got noveres to plant it.—O Lor! it's all I've got, an' Madge lets nobody go to bed without the tuppence. It's all up with Bill—forthe night!—Where's the odds!—there's a first-class hotel by the river—The Adelphi Arches, they calls it—where they'll take me in fast enough, and I can go to sleep with it in my cheek. Coves is past talkin' to you there. Nobody as sees me in that 'ere 'aunt of luxury, 'ill take me for a millionaire vith a skid in his mouth. 'Tain't a bit cold to-night neither (going).—Vy do they say aauntof luxury? I s'pose acause she's wife to my uncle.Exit.
Slow music. The night passes. A policeman crosses twice. THOMAScrosses between. Dawn.Re-enterBILL.
Bill. I'm hanged if this here blasted quid ain't a burnin' of me like a red-hot fardin'! I'm blest if I've slep' more 'n half the night. I woke up oncet, with it a slippin' down red lane. I wish I had swallered it. Then nobody 'd 'a' ast me vere I got it. I don't wonder as rich coves turn out sich a bad lot. I believe the devil's in this 'ere!
Knocks atMRS. CLIFFORD'S door. JAMESopens. Is shutting itagain. BILLshoves in his stool.
Bill. Hillo, Blazes! where's your manners? Is that the way you behaves to callers on your gov'nor's business?
James (half opening the door). Get about your own business, you imperent boy!
Bill. I'm about it now, young man. I wants to see your gov'nor.
James.You've got business withhim, have you, eh?
Bill. Amazin' precoxity! You've hit it! Ihavegot business withhim, Door-post—not in the wery smallest withyou, Door-post!—essep' the knife-boy's been and neglected of your feet-bags this mornin'. (JAMESwould slam the door. BILLshoves in his stool.) Don't you try that 'ere little game again, young man! for if I loses my temper and takes to hollerin', you'll wish yourself farther.
James. A humbug you are! I 'ain't got no gov'nor, boy. The master as belongs to me is a mis'ess.
Bill. Then that 'ere gen'lemen as comes an' goes, ain't your master—eh?
James. What gen'leman, stoopid?
Bill. Oh! it don't matter.
James. Whathave—you—gotto say tohim?
Bill. Some'at pickled: it'll keep.
James. I'll give him a message, if you like.
Bill. Well, you may tell him the bargain's hoff, and if he wants his money, it's a waitin' of him round the corner.
James. You little blackguard! Do you suppose a gen'leman's a goin' to deliver sich a message as that! Be off, you himp! (Makes a dart at him.)
Bill(dodging him). How d'e do, Clumsy? Don't touch me; I ain't nice. Why, what was you made for, Parrot? Is them calves your own rearin' now? Is that a quid or a fardin? Have a shot, now, Shins.
James. None o' your imperence, young blackie! 'And me over the money, and I'll give it to the gen'leman.
Bill. Do you see anything peticlar green in my eye, Rainbow?
JAMESmakes a rush. BILLgets down before him. JAMEStumblesover him. BILLblacks his face with his brush.
Bill(running a little way). Ha! ha! ha! Bill Shoeblack—his mark! Who's blackie now? You owes me a penny—twopence—'twor sich a ugly job! Ain't shiny? I'll come back and shine ye for another penny. Good mornin', Jim Crow! Take my adwice, and don't on no account apply your winegar afore you've opened your hoyster. Likeways: Butter don't melt on a cold tater.Exit.
ExitJAMESinto the house, banging the door.EnterWATERFIELD,followed by BILL.
Bill. Please, sir, I been a watchin' for you.
Wat. Go to the devil!
Bill. I'd rayther not. So there's your suv'ring!
Wat. Go along. Meet me where I told you.
Bill. I won't. There's yer skid.
Wat. Be off, or I'll give you in charge. Hey! Policeman!Exit.
Bill. Well, I'm blowed! This quid '11 be the hangin' o' me!Damn you! (Throws it fiercely on the ground and stamps on it.) Serves me right for chaffin' the old un! He didn't look a bad sort—fora gov'nor.—Now I reflexes, I heerd Mattie spoony on some father or other, afore. O Lord! I'll get Jim and Jack to help me look out for him. (EnterTHOMAS.) Lor' ha' mussy!—talk o' the old un!—I'm wery peticlar glad as I found you, daddy. I been a lookin' for ye—leastways I was a goin' to look for ye this wery moment as you turns up. I chaffed you like a zorologicle monkey yesterday, daddy, an' I'm wery sorry. But you see fathers ain't nice i' this 'ere part o' the continent. (EnterJAMES,in plain clothes, watching them.) They ain't no good nohow to nobody. IfIwos a husband and a father, I don't know as how I should be A One, myself. P'r'aps I might think it wur my turn to break arms and legs. I knowed more 'n one father as did. It's no wonder the boys is a plaguy lot, daddy.
Tho.Goo away, boy. Dosto yer, aw've seen so mich wickedness sin' aw coom to Lon'on, that aw dunnot knaw whether to breighk thi yed, or to goo wi' tho? There be thieves and there be robbers.
Bill. Never fear, daddy. You ain't worth robbin' of, I don't think.
Tho.How dosto knaw that? Aw've moore 'n I want to lose abeawt mo.
Bill. Then Mattie 'ill have som'at to eat—will she, daddy?
Tho.Som'at to eight, boy! Be mo Mattie hungry—dun yo think?
Bill. Many and many's the time, daddy.
Tho.Yigh—afore her dinner!
Bill. And after it too, daddy.
Tho.O Lord!—And what does hoo do when hoo 's hungry?
Bill. Grins and bears it. Come and see her, daddy?
Tho.O Lord! Mo Mattie, an' nothin' to eight! Goo on, boy. Aw'm beawn to follow yo. Tak mo wheer yo like. Aw'll goo.
Bill. Come along then, daddy.
James (collaring him). Hullo, young un! You're the rascal as stole the suvering:Isaw you!
Bill. Dunno what you're up to. I never stole nothink.
James. Oh no! of course not! What's that in yer fist now? (CatchesBILL'Shand, and forces it open.) There!