The Project Gutenberg eBook ofTalesThis ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.Title: TalesAuthor: George CrabbeRelease date: March 1, 2004 [eBook #5217]Most recently updated: October 28, 2024Language: EnglishCredits: Mark Sherwood*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES ***
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online atwww.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.
Title: TalesAuthor: George CrabbeRelease date: March 1, 2004 [eBook #5217]Most recently updated: October 28, 2024Language: EnglishCredits: Mark Sherwood
Title: Tales
Author: George Crabbe
Author: George Crabbe
Release date: March 1, 2004 [eBook #5217]Most recently updated: October 28, 2024
Language: English
Credits: Mark Sherwood
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES ***
“TALES”, by GEORGE CRABBE (1754-1832)
{1}
TALE I.
THE DUMB ORATORS; OR THE BENEFIT OF SOCIETY.
With fair round belly, with good capon lined,
With eyes severe -
Full of wise saws and modern instances.
SHAKESPEARE, As You Like It.
Deep shame hath struck me dumb.
King John.
He gives the bastinado with his tongue;
Our ears are cudgell’d.
King John.
. . . . . . . Let’s kill all the lawyers;
Now show yourselves men; ’tis for liberty:
We will not leave one lord or gentleman.
2 Henry VI.
And thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges.
Twelfth Night.
----------------------
That all men would be cowards if they dare,
Some men we know have courage to declare;
And this the life of many a hero shows,
That, like the tide, man’s courage ebbs and flows:
With friends and gay companions round them, then
Men boldly speak and have the hearts of men;
Who, with opponents seated miss the aid
Of kind applauding looks, and grow afraid;
Like timid travelers in the night, they fear
Th’ assault of foes, when not a friend is near.
In contest mighty, and of conquest proud,
Was Justice Bolt, impetuous, warm, and loud;
His fame, his prowess all the country knew,
And disputants, with one so fierce, were few:
He was a younger son, for law design’d,
With dauntless look and persevering mind;
While yet a clerk, for disputation famed,
No efforts tired him, and no conflicts tamed.
Scarcely he bade his master’s desk adieu,
When both his brothers from the world withdrew.
An ample fortune he from them possessed,
And was with saving care and prudence bless’d.
Now would he go and to the country give
Example how an English ’squire should live;
How bounteous, yet how frugal man may be,
By well-order’d hospitality;
He would the rights of all so well maintain.
That none should idle be, and none complain.
All this and more he purposed - and what man
Could do, he did to realise his plan;
But time convinced him that we cannot keep
A breed of reasoners like a flock of sheep;
For they, so far from following as we lead,
Make that a cause why they will not proceed.
Man will not follow where a rule is shown,
But loves to take a method of his own:
Explain the way with all your care and skill,
This will he quit, if but to prove he will. -
Yet had our Justice honour - and the crowd,
Awed by his presence, their respect avow’d.
In later years he found his heart incline,
More than in youth, to gen’rous food and wine;
But no indulgence check’d the powerful love
He felt to teach, to argue, and reprove.
Meetings, or public calls, he never miss’d -
To dictate often, always to assist.
Oft he the clergy join’d, and not a cause
Pertain’d to them but he could quote the laws;
He upon tithes and residence display’d
A fund of knowledge for the hearer’s aid;
And could on glebe and farming, wool and grains
A long discourse, without a pause, maintain.
To his experience and his native sense
He join’d a bold imperious eloquence;
The grave, stern look of men inform’d and wise,
A full command of feature, heart, and eyes,
An awe-compelling frown, and fear-inspiring size.
When at the table, not a guest was seen
With appetite so lingering, or so keen;
But when the outer man no more required,
The inner waked, and he was man inspired.
His subjects then were those, a subject true
Presents in fairest form to public view;
Of church and state, of law, with mighty strength
Of words he spoke, in speech of mighty length:
And now, into the vale of years declined,
He hides too little of the monarch-mind:
He kindles anger by untimely jokes,
And opposition by contempt provokes;
Mirth he suppresses by his awful frown,
And humble spirits, by disdain, keeps down;
Blamed by the mild, approved by the severe,
The prudent fly him, and the valiant fear.
For overbearing is his proud discourse,
And overwhelming of his voice the force;
And overpowering is he when he shows
What floats upon a mind that always overflows.
This ready man at every meeting rose,
Something to hint, determine, or propose;
And grew so fond of teaching, that he taught
Those who instruction needed not or sought:
Happy our hero, when he could excite
Some thoughtless talker to the wordy fight:
Let him a subject at his pleasure choose,
Physic or law, religion or the muse;
On all such themes he was prepared to shine, -
Physician, poet, lawyer, and divine.
Hemm’d in by some tough argument, borne down
By press of language and the awful frown,
In vain for mercy shall the culprit plead;
His crime is past, and sentence must proceed:
Ah! suffering man, have patience, bear thy woes -
For lo! the clock - at ten the Justice goes.
This powerful man, on business, or to please
A curious taste, or weary grown of ease,
On a long journey travelled many a mile
Westward, and halted midway in our isle;
Content to view a city large and fair,
Though none had notice - what a man was there!
Silent two days, he then began to long
Again to try a voice so loud and strong;
To give his favourite topics some new grace,
And gain some glory in such distant place;
To reap some present pleasure, and to sow
Seeds of fair fame, in after-time to grow:
Here will men say, “We heard, at such an hour,
The best of speakers - wonderful his power.”
Inquiry made, he found that day would meet
A learned club, and in the very street:
Knowledge to gain and give, was the design;
To speak, to hearken, to debate, and dine:
This pleased our traveller, for he felt his force
In either way, to eat or to discourse.
Nothing more easy than to gain access
To men like these, with his polite address:
So he succeeded, and first look’d around,
To view his objects and to take his ground;
And therefore silent chose awhile to sit,
Then enter boldly by some lucky hit;
Some observation keen or stroke severe,
To cause some wonder or excite some fear.
Now, dinner past, no longer he supprest
His strong dislike to be a silent guest;
Subjects and words were now at his command -
When disappointment frown’d on all he plann’d;
For, hark! - he heard amazed, on every side,
His church insulted and her priests belied;
The laws reviled, the ruling power abused,
The land derided, and its foes excused: -
He heard and ponder’d - What, to men so vile,
Should be his language? - For his threat’ning style
They were too many; - if his speech were meek,
They would despise such poor attempts to speak:
At other times with every word at will,
He now sat lost, perplex’d, astonish’d, still.
Here were Socinians, Deists, and indeed
All who, as foes to England’s Church, agreed;
But still with creeds unlike, and some without a creed:
Here, too, fierce friends of liberty he saw,
Who own’d no prince and who obey no law;
There were reformers of each different sort,
Foes to the laws, the priesthood, and the court;
Some on their favourite plans alone intent,
Some purely angry and malevolent:
The rash were proud to blame their country’s laws;
The vain, to seem supporters of a cause;
One call’d for change, that he would dread to see;
Another sigh’d for Gallic liberty!
And numbers joining with the forward crew,
For no one reason - but that numbers do.
“How,” said the Justice, “can this trouble rise,
This shame and pain, from creatures I despise?”
And Conscience answer’d - “The prevailing cause
Is thy delight in listening to applause;
Here, thou art seated with a tribe, who spurn
Thy favourite themes, and into laughter turn
Thy fears and wishes: silent and obscure,
Thyself, shalt thou the long harangue endure;
And learn, by feeling, what it is to force
On thy unwilling friends the long discourse:
What though thy thoughts be just, and these, it seems,
Are traitors’ projects, idiots’ empty schemes;
Yet minds, like bodies, cramm’d, reject their food,
Nor will be forced and tortured for their good!”
At length, a sharp, shrewd, sallow man arose,
And begg’d he briefly might his mind disclose;
“It was his duty, in these worst of times,
T’inform the govern’d of their rulers’ crimes:”
This pleasant subject to attend, they each
Prepare to listen, and forbore to teach.
Then voluble and fierce the wordy man
Through a long chain of favourite horrors ran: -
First of the Church, from whose enslaving power
He was deliver’d, and he bless’d the hour;
“Bishops and deans, and prebendaries all,”
He said, “were cattle fatt’ning in the stall;
Slothful and pursy, insolent and mean,
Were every bishop, prebendary, dean,
And wealthy rector: curates, poorly paid,
Were only dull; - he would not them upbraid.”
From priests he turn’d to canons, creeds, and prayers,
Rubrics and rules, and all our Church affairs;
Churches themselves, desk, pulpit, altar, all
The Justice reverenced - and pronounced their fall.
Then from religion Hammond turn’d his view
To give our Rulers the correction due;
Not one wise action had these triflers plann’d;
There was, it seem’d, no wisdom in the land,
Save in this patriot tribe, who meet at times
To show the statesman’s errors and his crimes.
Now here was Justice Bolt compell’d to sit,
To hear the deist’s scorn, the rebel’s wit;
The fact mis-stated, the envenom’d lie,
And, staring spell-bound, made not one reply.
Then were our Laws abused - and with the laws,
All who prepare, defend, or judge a cause:
“We have no lawyer whom a man can trust,”
Proceeded Hammond - “if the laws were just;
But they are evil; ’tis the savage state
Is only good, and ours sophisticate!
See! the free creatures in their woods and plains,
Where without laws each happy monarch reigns,
King of himself - while we a number dread,
By slaves commanded and by dunces led:
Oh, let the name with either state agree -
Savage our own we’ll name, and civil theirs shall be.”
The silent Justice still astonish’d sat,
And wonder’d much whom he was gazing at;
Twice he essay’d to speak - but in a cough,
The faint, indignant, dying speech went off:
“But who is this?” thought he - “a demon vile,
With wicked meaning and a vulgar style:
Hammond they call him: they can give the name
Of man to devils. - Why am I so tame?
Why crush I not the viper?” - Fear replied,
Watch him awhile, and let his strength be tried:
He will be foil’d, if man; but if his aid
Be from beneath, ’tis well to be afraid.”
“We are call’d free!” said Hammond - “doleful times,
When rulers add their insult to their crimes;
For should our scorn expose each powerful vice,
It would be libel, and we pay the price.”
Thus with licentious words the man went on,
Proving that liberty of speech was gone;
That all were slaves - nor had we better chance
For better times, than as allies to France.
Loud groan’d the Stranger - Why, he must relate,
And own’d, “In sorrow for his country’s fate;”
“Nay, she were safe,” the ready man replied,
“Might patriots rule her, and could reasoners guide;