More than three years have elapsed since I left the asylum, yet I have often visited it within that time, taking a survey with diary and pen in hand, minuting down names of persons, localities and transactions, to refresh my mind in this direction that I might be better prepared to do justice to my God, the People and myself while wielding the pen in this great and awful disclosure, not forgetful to implore aid from that spirit which guides into all truth.
Since I left the asylum I have availed myself of books written by different authors who have been shut up in lunatic asylums, whose disclosures correspond with the facts herein set forth in regard to the treatment of patients.
Rev. H. Chase penned out two years and four months of his asylum life spent in Utica asylum. I believe it was an oversight in his friends in sending him there. The Reverendremarks that he is not aware that anybody in or out of the church looks upon him otherwise than before he went to the institution. I would be glad if I could have as much charity as the Reverend. But I have no confidence in the flesh; since I left the asylum my reputation has been encroached upon by the slanderer's tongue, by magistrate, by the foreman in the great mowing machine shop at Falls, by grandfathers, behind my back, before children, who have said to me, "Grand Pa says that you are crazy, and asks when are you going back to the asylum."
Let those slanderers know we have as much feeling as a toad, and try to become gentlemen.
Before I went to the asylums as a patient I was totally ignorant of the character and secret workings of these popular institutions. I was also totally ignorant and understood not the different modes and operations practiced in sending patients to insane or lunatic asylums.
I learned from ex-Judge Robertson and others the law to send a patient to a lunatic asylum. Two physicians examine the patient, pronounce him or her insane, by oath; the county judge being notified to this effect, issues an order and the patient is sent to the smut mill of hell or to a lunatic asylum.
It must not be understood that the same mode of operation is practiced in all cases. Some patients are supported in the Troy institution solely by the county; while others by the patient himself or herself, for instance, as General Schuyler, whose guardian paid $10 per week for his board, he died in an adjoining room to me, fared no better than Bacon and others (property sold since for $20,000).
I entered the Brattleborough institution as a private; it was not necessary to consult doctors, judges or jurors; I was a husband; Brother B. gave bonds for security; I heard him call for them, and saw the doctor handthem to him before we left; suppose it to have been a wife or a child, it would have been all the same. When Brother B. came for me to go home from the Troy Asylum, October 13, 1870, we met Steward Harrison. I asked him for my trunk and clothing, but have not as yet obtained it. I shall ask once more. Oh! how much I needed my overcoat in the cold fall and winter after I got home, going to and from my shop; I well remember what my wife and daughter said after cordially greeting me, "We don't expect you to do any thing;" thought I, "these feeble women can't support me and themselves with the needle," and I, joking, said to encourage them, "You will see me coming up this hill, with a half barrel of flour on my back" (at the time a pail of water was all I could carry up stairs); sure enough, before January, I surprised my family by sending up the hill a barrel of flour and 160 pounds of pork, besides many other necessaries; these I earned working upon my knees part of the time, and they did not set us back, but came good when I lay sick inJanuary and February, 1872, nigh unto death with inflammation of the lungs; but thanks be to the great Giver, in that sickness I had a beloved wife to smooth my pillow, and an affectionate daughter to administer the necessary cordials.
My daughter writes as follows, before I left the asylum:
Pittstown,September 23, 1870.
My Dear Father,—I received your letter, and was pleased to hear you are better. I will write you a few lines to let you know what we intend to do about having you come home. We are intending to have you come home when Dr. Lomax says you are well enough and can, and when you come home we will try to make home as pleasant as we can, so try to keep up good courage. Please write if you feel able.
This from your affectionate daughter,
MARTHA A. SWAN.
Buy the truth and sell it not; also wisdom and instruction, and understanding.
For a description of my heart-felt sorrow during those ten years of my captivity, read Psalm 22.
To know my joys and hopes since the cloud passed off, that hung so heavily, long over my mind, read Psalm 23.
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want."
"If any one knoweth how to appreciate the blessedness of liberty and good society, I more."
"The kingdom of heaven is with men; but without, are dogs and liars, and sorcerers and whoremongers, and he that willeth and maketh a lie."
"Seek first the kingdom of heaven and its righteousness, and all things shall be added unto you."
"The Lord God is a sun and a shield, for a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a door-keeper in the houseof my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness."
To prevent any person going to a lunatic asylum as patient wrongfully, I recommend:
1st. That the complainant be required to summon each physician in said town where the defendant lives, these being duly sworn after having examined the accused or defendant in regard to his sanity or insanity.
2d. That this examination be in presence of twelve legal unprejudiced jurors who shall weigh the testimony and decide accordingly in regard to his being a proper subject of a lunatic asylum.
3d. That the defendant or accused, like Paul before Felix, be permitted to answer for him or herself.
Transcriber's NotesOriginal spellings and inconsistencies in hyphenation have been retained. Minor punctuation errors were corrected on pages4,32,40,47,79,104,119, and138.The following apparent typographical errors were corrected.Page23, "to day" changed to "to-day." (I am happy to-day because I listened...)Page24, "encourged" changed to "encouraged." (...my mother often encouraged me to read the Bible...)Page52, "Belden" changed to "Beldon." (... a John Beldon, a man who, it was said...)Page67, "conscientiouly" changed to "conscientiously." (...ten years I was conscientiously mistaken...)Page86, "brutual" changed to "brutal." (...were engaged in brutal acts against poor lunatic persons...)Page113, "Hoosic" changed to "Hoosick." (...keep his luny wife with him at Hoosick Falls...)Page119, "shirt" changed to "skirt." (...to the men's hall with a skirt in her hand...)Page132, "O'Donnell" changed to "O'Donnel." (After O'Donnel destroyed the Bible in the main house...)Page137, "smutmill" changed to "smut mill." (...sent to the smut mill of hell...)
Transcriber's Notes
Original spellings and inconsistencies in hyphenation have been retained. Minor punctuation errors were corrected on pages4,32,40,47,79,104,119, and138.
The following apparent typographical errors were corrected.
Page23, "to day" changed to "to-day." (I am happy to-day because I listened...)
Page24, "encourged" changed to "encouraged." (...my mother often encouraged me to read the Bible...)
Page52, "Belden" changed to "Beldon." (... a John Beldon, a man who, it was said...)
Page67, "conscientiouly" changed to "conscientiously." (...ten years I was conscientiously mistaken...)
Page86, "brutual" changed to "brutal." (...were engaged in brutal acts against poor lunatic persons...)
Page113, "Hoosic" changed to "Hoosick." (...keep his luny wife with him at Hoosick Falls...)
Page119, "shirt" changed to "skirt." (...to the men's hall with a skirt in her hand...)
Page132, "O'Donnell" changed to "O'Donnel." (After O'Donnel destroyed the Bible in the main house...)
Page137, "smutmill" changed to "smut mill." (...sent to the smut mill of hell...)