EULOGY ON THE TIMES.Letpoets scrawl satiric rhymes,And sketch the follies of the times,With much caricaturing;But I, abon-ton-bard, declareA set of slanderers they are,E’en past a Job’s enduring.Let crabbed cynics snarl away,And pious parsons preach and prayAgainst the vices reigning;That mankind are so wicked grown,Morality is scarcely known,And true religion waning.Societies, who vice suppress,May make a rumpus; ne’ertheless,Our’s is the best of ages;Such hum-drum folks ourfatherswere,They could no more withuscompare,ThanHottentotswithsages.It puts the poet in a petTo think ofTHEM,a vulgar set;ButWE, thank G—d, areQUALITY!For we have found this eighteenth centuryWhat ne’er was known before, I’ll venture ye,Religion’s no reality!Tom Paine, and Godwin, both can tellThat there is no such thing as hell!A doctrine mighty pleasant;Your old-wives tales of ahereafterAre things for ridicule and laughter,While we enjoy thepresent.We’ve nought to do, but frisk about,At midnight ball, and Sunday rout,And Bacchanalian revel;To gamble, drink, and live at ease,Our great and noble selves to please,Nor care for man, nor devil.In thesegood times, with little pains,And scarce a penny-worth of brains,A man with great propriety,With some small risk of being hung,May cut a pretty dash amongThe foremost in society.Good reader, I’ll suppose, for once,Thou art no better than a dunce,But wishest to be famous;I’ll tell thee how, with decent luck,Thou may’st become as great a buckAs any one could name us.When first in high life you commence,To virtue, reason, common sense,You’ll please to bid adieu, sir;And, lest some brother rake be higher,Drink, till your blood be all on fire,And face of crimson hue, sir.Thus you’ll be dubb’d adashing blade,And, by the genteel world be said,To be aman of spirit;Forstylish folksdespise the chaps,Who think that they may rise, perhaps,By industry and merit.With lubric arts, and wily tongue,Debauch some maiden, fair and young,For that will be genteel;Be not too scrupulous; win the fair;Then leave the frail one to despair:A rake should never feel.When wine has made your courage stout,In midnight revel sally out,Insulting all you meet;Play pretty pranks about the town,Break windows, knock the watchmen down,Your frolic to complete!Besides exhibiting your parts,You’re sure to win the ladies’ heartsBy dint of dissipation;Since “every woman is a rake,”A fool may know what steps to takeTo gain her approbation.By practising these famous rules,You’ll gain fromwickedmen andfoolsA world of admiration:And, as we know from good authority,Such folks compose a clear majority,There needs no hesitation.
Letpoets scrawl satiric rhymes,And sketch the follies of the times,With much caricaturing;But I, abon-ton-bard, declareA set of slanderers they are,E’en past a Job’s enduring.Let crabbed cynics snarl away,And pious parsons preach and prayAgainst the vices reigning;That mankind are so wicked grown,Morality is scarcely known,And true religion waning.Societies, who vice suppress,May make a rumpus; ne’ertheless,Our’s is the best of ages;Such hum-drum folks ourfatherswere,They could no more withuscompare,ThanHottentotswithsages.It puts the poet in a petTo think ofTHEM,a vulgar set;ButWE, thank G—d, areQUALITY!For we have found this eighteenth centuryWhat ne’er was known before, I’ll venture ye,Religion’s no reality!Tom Paine, and Godwin, both can tellThat there is no such thing as hell!A doctrine mighty pleasant;Your old-wives tales of ahereafterAre things for ridicule and laughter,While we enjoy thepresent.We’ve nought to do, but frisk about,At midnight ball, and Sunday rout,And Bacchanalian revel;To gamble, drink, and live at ease,Our great and noble selves to please,Nor care for man, nor devil.In thesegood times, with little pains,And scarce a penny-worth of brains,A man with great propriety,With some small risk of being hung,May cut a pretty dash amongThe foremost in society.Good reader, I’ll suppose, for once,Thou art no better than a dunce,But wishest to be famous;I’ll tell thee how, with decent luck,Thou may’st become as great a buckAs any one could name us.When first in high life you commence,To virtue, reason, common sense,You’ll please to bid adieu, sir;And, lest some brother rake be higher,Drink, till your blood be all on fire,And face of crimson hue, sir.Thus you’ll be dubb’d adashing blade,And, by the genteel world be said,To be aman of spirit;Forstylish folksdespise the chaps,Who think that they may rise, perhaps,By industry and merit.With lubric arts, and wily tongue,Debauch some maiden, fair and young,For that will be genteel;Be not too scrupulous; win the fair;Then leave the frail one to despair:A rake should never feel.When wine has made your courage stout,In midnight revel sally out,Insulting all you meet;Play pretty pranks about the town,Break windows, knock the watchmen down,Your frolic to complete!Besides exhibiting your parts,You’re sure to win the ladies’ heartsBy dint of dissipation;Since “every woman is a rake,”A fool may know what steps to takeTo gain her approbation.By practising these famous rules,You’ll gain fromwickedmen andfoolsA world of admiration:And, as we know from good authority,Such folks compose a clear majority,There needs no hesitation.
Letpoets scrawl satiric rhymes,And sketch the follies of the times,With much caricaturing;But I, abon-ton-bard, declareA set of slanderers they are,E’en past a Job’s enduring.
Letpoets scrawl satiric rhymes,
And sketch the follies of the times,
With much caricaturing;
But I, abon-ton-bard, declare
A set of slanderers they are,
E’en past a Job’s enduring.
Let crabbed cynics snarl away,And pious parsons preach and prayAgainst the vices reigning;That mankind are so wicked grown,Morality is scarcely known,And true religion waning.
Let crabbed cynics snarl away,
And pious parsons preach and pray
Against the vices reigning;
That mankind are so wicked grown,
Morality is scarcely known,
And true religion waning.
Societies, who vice suppress,May make a rumpus; ne’ertheless,Our’s is the best of ages;Such hum-drum folks ourfatherswere,They could no more withuscompare,ThanHottentotswithsages.
Societies, who vice suppress,
May make a rumpus; ne’ertheless,
Our’s is the best of ages;
Such hum-drum folks ourfatherswere,
They could no more withuscompare,
ThanHottentotswithsages.
It puts the poet in a petTo think ofTHEM,a vulgar set;ButWE, thank G—d, areQUALITY!For we have found this eighteenth centuryWhat ne’er was known before, I’ll venture ye,Religion’s no reality!
It puts the poet in a pet
To think ofTHEM,a vulgar set;
ButWE, thank G—d, areQUALITY!
For we have found this eighteenth century
What ne’er was known before, I’ll venture ye,
Religion’s no reality!
Tom Paine, and Godwin, both can tellThat there is no such thing as hell!A doctrine mighty pleasant;Your old-wives tales of ahereafterAre things for ridicule and laughter,While we enjoy thepresent.
Tom Paine, and Godwin, both can tell
That there is no such thing as hell!
A doctrine mighty pleasant;
Your old-wives tales of ahereafter
Are things for ridicule and laughter,
While we enjoy thepresent.
We’ve nought to do, but frisk about,At midnight ball, and Sunday rout,And Bacchanalian revel;To gamble, drink, and live at ease,Our great and noble selves to please,Nor care for man, nor devil.
We’ve nought to do, but frisk about,
At midnight ball, and Sunday rout,
And Bacchanalian revel;
To gamble, drink, and live at ease,
Our great and noble selves to please,
Nor care for man, nor devil.
In thesegood times, with little pains,And scarce a penny-worth of brains,A man with great propriety,With some small risk of being hung,May cut a pretty dash amongThe foremost in society.
In thesegood times, with little pains,
And scarce a penny-worth of brains,
A man with great propriety,
With some small risk of being hung,
May cut a pretty dash among
The foremost in society.
Good reader, I’ll suppose, for once,Thou art no better than a dunce,But wishest to be famous;I’ll tell thee how, with decent luck,Thou may’st become as great a buckAs any one could name us.
Good reader, I’ll suppose, for once,
Thou art no better than a dunce,
But wishest to be famous;
I’ll tell thee how, with decent luck,
Thou may’st become as great a buck
As any one could name us.
When first in high life you commence,To virtue, reason, common sense,You’ll please to bid adieu, sir;And, lest some brother rake be higher,Drink, till your blood be all on fire,And face of crimson hue, sir.
When first in high life you commence,
To virtue, reason, common sense,
You’ll please to bid adieu, sir;
And, lest some brother rake be higher,
Drink, till your blood be all on fire,
And face of crimson hue, sir.
Thus you’ll be dubb’d adashing blade,And, by the genteel world be said,To be aman of spirit;Forstylish folksdespise the chaps,Who think that they may rise, perhaps,By industry and merit.
Thus you’ll be dubb’d adashing blade,
And, by the genteel world be said,
To be aman of spirit;
Forstylish folksdespise the chaps,
Who think that they may rise, perhaps,
By industry and merit.
With lubric arts, and wily tongue,Debauch some maiden, fair and young,For that will be genteel;Be not too scrupulous; win the fair;Then leave the frail one to despair:A rake should never feel.
With lubric arts, and wily tongue,
Debauch some maiden, fair and young,
For that will be genteel;
Be not too scrupulous; win the fair;
Then leave the frail one to despair:
A rake should never feel.
When wine has made your courage stout,In midnight revel sally out,Insulting all you meet;Play pretty pranks about the town,Break windows, knock the watchmen down,Your frolic to complete!
When wine has made your courage stout,
In midnight revel sally out,
Insulting all you meet;
Play pretty pranks about the town,
Break windows, knock the watchmen down,
Your frolic to complete!
Besides exhibiting your parts,You’re sure to win the ladies’ heartsBy dint of dissipation;Since “every woman is a rake,”A fool may know what steps to takeTo gain her approbation.
Besides exhibiting your parts,
You’re sure to win the ladies’ hearts
By dint of dissipation;
Since “every woman is a rake,”
A fool may know what steps to take
To gain her approbation.
By practising these famous rules,You’ll gain fromwickedmen andfoolsA world of admiration:And, as we know from good authority,Such folks compose a clear majority,There needs no hesitation.
By practising these famous rules,
You’ll gain fromwickedmen andfools
A world of admiration:
And, as we know from good authority,
Such folks compose a clear majority,
There needs no hesitation.