It was a very curious thing that the storm seemed to follow the Caravan as if it were a private affair of their own, and the paragondola had no sooner disappeared than Dorothy found herself sailing along as quietly as if such a thing as bad weather had never been heard of. But there was something very lonely about the sideboard now, as it went careering through the water, and she felt quite disconsolate as she sat on the little shelf and wondered what had become of the Caravan.
"If Mrs. Peevy's umbrella shuts up with them inside of it," she said mournfully to herself, "I'm sure I don't know what they'll do. It's such a stiff thing to open that it must be perfectly awful when it shuts up all of a sudden," and she was just giving a little shudder at the mere thought of such a thing, when the sideboard bumped up against something and she found that it had run into a tree. In fact, she found thatshe had drifted into a forest of enormous trees, growing in a most remarkable manner straight up out of the lake; and as she looked up she could see great branches stretching out in every direction far above her head, all interlaced together and covered with leaves as if it had been midsummer instead of being, as it certainly was, Christmas day.
"THE SIDEBOARD SLOWLY FLOATED ALONG THROUGH THIS STRANGE FOREST.""THE SIDEBOARD SLOWLY FLOATED ALONG THROUGH THIS STRANGE FOREST."
As the sideboard slowly floated along through this strange forest, Dorothy presently discovered that eachtree had a little door in it, close to the water's edge, with a small platform before it by way of a door-step, as if the people who lived in the trees had a fancy for going about visiting in boats. But she couldn't help wondering who in the world, or, rather, who in the trees, the people went to see, for all the little doors were shut as tight as wax, and had notices posted up on them, such as "No admittance," "Go away," "Gone to Persia," and many others, all of which Dorothy considered extremely rude, especially one notice which read, "Beware of the Pig," as if the person who lived in that particular tree was too stingy to keep a dog.
Now all this was very distressing, because, in the first place, Dorothy was extremely fond of visiting, and, in the second place, she was getting rather tired of sailing about on the sideboard; and she was therefore greatly pleased when she presently came to a door without any notice upon it. There was, moreover, a bright little brass knocker on this door, and as this seemed to show that people were expected to call there if they felt like it, she waited until the sideboard was passing close to the platform and then gave a little jump ashore.
The sideboard took a great roll backward and heldup its front feet as if expressing its surprise at this proceeding, and as it pitched forward again the doors of it flew open, and a number of large pies fell out into the water and floated away in all directions. To Dorothy's amazement, the sideboard immediately started off after them, and began pushing them together, like a shepherd's dog collecting a flock of runaway sheep; and then, having got them all together in a compact bunch, sailed solemnly away, shoving the pies ahead of it.
Dorothy now looked at the door again, and saw that it was standing partly open. The doorway was only about as high as her shoulder, and as she stooped down and looked through it she saw there was a small winding stairway inside, leading up through the body of the tree. She listened for a moment, but everything was perfectly quiet inside, so she squeezed in through the doorway and ran up the stairs as fast as she could go.
DOROTHY MAKES A CALL IN THE TREE-TOP COUNTRY.DOROTHY MAKES A CALL IN THE TREE-TOP COUNTRY.
The stairway ended at the top in a sort of trap-door, and Dorothy popped up through it like a jack-in-the-box; but instead of coming out, as she expected, among the branches of the tree, she found herself in a wide, open field as flat as a pancake, and with a smallhouse standing far out in the middle of it. It was a bright and sunny place, and quite like an ordinary field in every way except that, in place of grass, it had a curious floor of branches, closely braided together like the bottom of a market-basket; but, as this seemed natural enough, considering that the field was in thetop of a tree, Dorothy hurried away to the little house without giving the floor a second thought.
As she came up to the house she saw that it was a charming little cottage with vines trained about the latticed windows, and with a sign over the door, reading—
THE OUTSIDE INN
"I suppose they'll take me for a customer," she said, looking rather doubtfully at the sign, "and I haven't got any money. But I'm very little, and I won't stay very long," she added, by way of excusing herself, and as she said this she softly pushed open the door and went in. To her great surprise, there was no inside to the house, and she came out into the field again on the other side of the door. The wall on this side, however, was nicely papered, and had pictures hanging on it, and there were curtains at the windows as if it had been one side of a room at some time or another; but there was a notice pasted up beside the door, reading—
THE INN-SIDE OUT
as if the rest of the house had gone out for a walk, and might be expected back at any time.
Now, as you may suppose, Dorothy was quite unprepared for all this, and she was looking about in great astonishment when she suddenly discovered that the furniture was at home, and was standing in a rather lonely manner quite by itself in the open field. It was, moreover, the strangest-looking furniture she had ever seen, for it was growing directly out of the floor in a twisted-up fashion, something like the grapevine chairs in Uncle Porticle's garden; but the oddest part of it all was a ridiculous-looking bed with leaves sprouting out of its legs, and with great pink blossoms growing on the bed-posts like the satin bows on Dorothy's little bed at the Blue Admiral Inn. All this was so remarkable that she went over to where the furniture was standing to take a closer look at it; and as she came up alongside the bed she was amazed to see that the Caravan, all three of them, were lying in it in a row, with their eyes closed as if they were fast asleep. This was such an unexpected sight that Dorothy first drew a long breath of astonishment and then exclaimed, "Jiminy!" which was a word she used only on particular occasions; and, as she said this, theCaravan opened their eyes and stared at her like so many owls.
"Why, what are you all doing here?" she said; at which the Admiral sat up in bed, and after taking a hurried look at her through his spy-glass, said, "Shipwrecked!" in a solemn voice and then lay down again.
"Did the paragonorer shut up with you?" inquired Dorothy, anxiously.
"Yes, ma'am," said the Admiral.
"And squashed us," added Sir Walter.
"Like everything," put in the Highlander.
"I was afraid it would," said Dorothy, sorrowfully; "I s'pose it was something like being at sea in a cornucopia."
"Does a cornucopia have things in it that pinch your legs?" inquired Sir Walter, with an air of great interest.
"Oh, no," said Dorothy.
"Then it wasn't like it at all," said Sir Walter, peevishly.
"It was about as much like it," said the Admiral, "as a pump is like a post-captain"; and he said this in such a positive way that Dorothy didn't like to contradict him. In fact she really didn't know anything about the matter, so she merely said, as politely as she could, "I don't think I know what a post-captain is."
"I don't either," said the Admiral, promptly, "but I can tell you how they behave"; and sitting up in bed, he recited these verses:
Post-captain at the Needles and commander of a crewOn the "Royal Biddy" frigate was Sir Peter Bombazoo;His mind was full of music, and his head was full of tunes,And he cheerfully exhibited on pleasant afternoons.
Post-captain at the Needles and commander of a crewOn the "Royal Biddy" frigate was Sir Peter Bombazoo;His mind was full of music, and his head was full of tunes,And he cheerfully exhibited on pleasant afternoons.
THE EXTRAORDINARY POST-CAPTAIN (1).
He could whistle, on his fingers, an invigorating reel,And could imitate a piper on the handles of the wheel;He could play in double octaves, too, all up and down the rail,Or rattle off a rondo on the bottom of a pail.
He could whistle, on his fingers, an invigorating reel,And could imitate a piper on the handles of the wheel;He could play in double octaves, too, all up and down the rail,Or rattle off a rondo on the bottom of a pail.
THE EXTRAORDINARY POST-CAPTAIN (2).
Then porters with their packages, and bakers with their buns,And countesses in carriages, and grenadiers with guns,And admirals and commodores, arrived from near and farTo listen to the music of this entertaining tar.When they heard the Captain humming, and beheld the dancing crew,The commodores severely said, "Why, this will never do!"And the admirals all hurried home, remarking, "This is mostExtraordinary conduct for a captain at his post."
Then porters with their packages, and bakers with their buns,And countesses in carriages, and grenadiers with guns,And admirals and commodores, arrived from near and farTo listen to the music of this entertaining tar.
When they heard the Captain humming, and beheld the dancing crew,The commodores severely said, "Why, this will never do!"And the admirals all hurried home, remarking, "This is mostExtraordinary conduct for a captain at his post."
"HE DID A LITTLE FIFING ON THE EDGES OF THE NOTE.""HE DID A LITTLE FIFING ON THE EDGES OF THE NOTE."
Then they sent some sailing-orders to Sir Peter, in a boat,And he did a little fifing on the edges of the note;But he read the sailing-orders, as, of course, he had to do,And removed the "Royal Biddy" to the Bay of Boohgabooh.Now, Sir Peter took it kindly, but it's proper to explainHe was sent to catch a pirate out upon the Spanish Main;And he played, with variations, an imaginary tuneOn the buttons of his waistcoat, like a jocular bassoon.Then a topman saw the Pirate come a-sailing in the bay,And reported to the Captain in the customary way."I'll receive him," said Sir Peter, "with a musical salute!"And he gave some imitations of a double-jointed flute.Then the Pirate cried derisively, "I've heard it done before!"And he hoisted up a banner emblematical of gore.But Sir Peter said serenely, "You may double-shot the gunsWhile I sing my little ballad of 'The Butter on the Buns.'"Then the Pirate banged Sir Peter and Sir Peter banged him back,And they banged away together as they took another tack.Then Sir Peter said politely, "You may board him, if you like"—And he played a little dirge upon the handle of a pike.Then the "Biddies" poured like hornets down upon the Pirate's deck,And Sir Peter caught the Pirate, and he took him by the neck,And remarked, "You must excuse me, but you acted like a bruteWhen I gave my imitation of that double-jointed flute."So they took that wicked Pirate, and they took his wicked crew,And tied them up with double knots in packages of two;And left them lying on their backs in rows upon the beachWith a little bread and water within comfortable reach.
Then they sent some sailing-orders to Sir Peter, in a boat,And he did a little fifing on the edges of the note;But he read the sailing-orders, as, of course, he had to do,And removed the "Royal Biddy" to the Bay of Boohgabooh.
Now, Sir Peter took it kindly, but it's proper to explainHe was sent to catch a pirate out upon the Spanish Main;And he played, with variations, an imaginary tuneOn the buttons of his waistcoat, like a jocular bassoon.
Then a topman saw the Pirate come a-sailing in the bay,And reported to the Captain in the customary way."I'll receive him," said Sir Peter, "with a musical salute!"And he gave some imitations of a double-jointed flute.
Then the Pirate cried derisively, "I've heard it done before!"And he hoisted up a banner emblematical of gore.But Sir Peter said serenely, "You may double-shot the gunsWhile I sing my little ballad of 'The Butter on the Buns.'"
Then the Pirate banged Sir Peter and Sir Peter banged him back,And they banged away together as they took another tack.Then Sir Peter said politely, "You may board him, if you like"—And he played a little dirge upon the handle of a pike.
Then the "Biddies" poured like hornets down upon the Pirate's deck,And Sir Peter caught the Pirate, and he took him by the neck,And remarked, "You must excuse me, but you acted like a bruteWhen I gave my imitation of that double-jointed flute."
So they took that wicked Pirate, and they took his wicked crew,And tied them up with double knots in packages of two;And left them lying on their backs in rows upon the beachWith a little bread and water within comfortable reach.
"SIR PETER CAUGHT THE PIRATE, AND HE TOOK HIM BY THE NECK.""SIR PETER CAUGHT THE PIRATE, AND HE TOOK HIM BY THE NECK."
Now the Pirate had a treasure (mostly silverware and gold),And Sir Peter took and stowed it in the bottom of his hold;And said "I will retire on this cargo of doubloons,And each of you, my gallant crew, may have some silver spoons."Now commodores in coach-and-fours, and corporals in cabs,And men with carts of pies and tarts, and fishermen with crabs,And barristers with wigs, in gigs, still gather on the strand—But there isn't any music save a little German band.
Now the Pirate had a treasure (mostly silverware and gold),And Sir Peter took and stowed it in the bottom of his hold;And said "I will retire on this cargo of doubloons,And each of you, my gallant crew, may have some silver spoons."
Now commodores in coach-and-fours, and corporals in cabs,And men with carts of pies and tarts, and fishermen with crabs,And barristers with wigs, in gigs, still gather on the strand—But there isn't any music save a little German band.
"I think Sir Peter was perfectly grand!" said Dorothy, as the Admiral finished his verses. "He was so composed."
"So was the poetry," said the Admiral. "Ithadto be composed, you know, or there wouldn't have been any."
"Thatwould have been fine!" remarked the Highlander.
The Admiral got so red in the face at this, that Dorothy thought he was going into some kind of a fit; but just at this moment there was a sharp rap at the door, and Sir Walter exclaimed, "That'sBob Scarlet, and here we are in his flower-bed!"
"Jibs and jiggers!" said the Admiral, "I never thought of that. What do you suppose he'll do?"
"Pick us!" said the Highlander, with remarkable presence of mind.
"Then tell him we're all out," said the Admiral to Dorothy in extreme agitation, and with this, thewhole Caravan disappeared under the bed with all possible despatch.
"Weareout, you know," said Dorothy to herself, "because there's noinfor us to be in"; and then she called out in a very loud voice, "We're all out in here!" which wasn't exactly what she meant to say, after all.
But there was no answer, and she was just stooping down to call through the keyhole when she saw that the wall-paper was nothing but a vine growing on a trellis, and the door only a little rustic gate leading through it. "And, dear me!—where has the furniture gone to?" she exclaimed, for the curly chairs had changed into flower-pot stands, and the bed into a great mound of waving lilies, and she found herself standing in a beautiful garden.
Being in a garden full of flowers at Christmas-time is a very fine thing; and Dorothy was looking about with great delight, and wondering how it had all happened, when she suddenly caught sight of a big robin walking along one of the paths, and examining the various plants with an air of great interest. He was a very big robin, indeed—in fact, he was about as large as a goose; and he had on a gardener's hat, and a bright red waistcoat which he was wearing unbuttoned so as to give his fat little chest plenty of room; but the most remarkable thing about him was that he was walking aboutwith his hands in his waistcoat-pockets.
Dorothy had never seen a robin do this before, and she was looking at him in great astonishment, when he chanced to turn around to take a particular look at a large flower, and she saw that he had two caterpillars neatly embroidered on the back of his waistcoat so as to form the letters B. S.
"HE WAS WALKING ABOUT WITH HIS HANDS IN HIS WAISTCOAT-POCKETS.""HE WAS WALKING ABOUT WITH HIS HANDS IN HIS WAISTCOAT-POCKETS."
"Now I wonder what B. S. means," she said to herself with her usual curiosity. "Itstandsfor Brown Sugar, but, of course, it can't be that. Perhaps it means Best Suit, or Bird Superintendent, or—or—whyit must mean Bob Scarlet, to be sure!" and clapping her hands in the joy of this discovery, she ran after the Robin to take a nearer look at him and, if possible, to have a little conversation.
But Bob Scarlet proved to be a very difficult person to get near to. Over and over again Dorothy caught sight of the top of his hat beyond a hedge, or saw the red waistcoat through the bushes; but no matter how quickly she stole around to the spot, he was always gone before she got there, and she would see the hat or the waistcoat far away, in another part of the garden, and would hurry after him only to be disappointed as before. She was getting very tired of this, and was walking around rather disconsolately, when she happened to look at one of the plants, and discovered that little sunbonnets were growing on it in great profusion, like white lilies; and this was such a delightful discovery, and such an exceedingly interesting circumstance, that she instantly forgot all about Bob Scarlet, and started away in great excitement to examine the other plants.
"THERE WERE PLANTS LOADED DOWN WITH LITTLE PINAFORES, AND SHRUBS WITH SMALL SHOES GROWING ALL OVER THEM.""THERE WERE PLANTS LOADED DOWN WITH LITTLE PINAFORES, AND SHRUBS WITH SMALL SHOES GROWING ALL OVER THEM."
There was a great variety of them, and they all were of the same curious character. Besides the bonnet-bush, there were plants loaded down with little pinafores, and shrubs with small shoes growing all over them, like peas, and delicate vines of thread with button-blossoms on them, and, what particularly pleased Dorothy, a row of pots marked "FROCK FLOWERS," and each containing a stalk with a crisp little frock growing on it, like a big tulip upside down.
"They're only big enough for dolls," chatteredDorothy, as she hurried from one to the other, "but, of course, they'll grow. I s'pose it's what they call a nursery-garden. Just fancy—" she exclaimed, stopping short and clasping her hands in a rapture,—"just fancy going out to pick an apronful of delightful new stockings, or running out every day to see if your best frock is ripe yet!" And I'm sure I don't know what she would have said next, but just at this moment she caught sight of a paper lying in the path before her, and, of course, immediately became interested inthat.
It was folded something like a lawyer's document, and was very neatly marked in red ink "MEMORUMDRUMS"; and after looking at it curiously for a moment, Dorothy said to herself, "It's prob'bly a wash-list; nothing but two aprons, and four HDKeffs, and ten towels—there's always such alotof towels, you know," and here she picked up the paper; but instead of being a wash-list, she found it contained these verses:
Have Angleworms attractive homes?Do Bumblebees have brains?Do Caterpillars carry combs?Do Dodos dote on drains?Can Eels elude elastic earls?Do Flatfish fish for flats?Are Grigs agreeable to girls?Do Hares have hunting-hats?Do Ices make an Ibex ill?Do Jackdaws jug their jam?Do Kites kiss all the kids they kill?Do Llamas live on lamb?Will Moles molest a mounted mink?Do Newts deny the news?Are Oysters boisterous when they drink?Do Parrots prowl in pews?Do Quakers get their quills from Quails?Do Rabbits rob on roads?Are Snakes supposed to sneer at snails?Do Tortoises tease toads?Can Unicorns perform on horns?Do Vipers value veal?Do Weasels weep when fast asleep?Can Xylophagans squeal?Do Yaks in packs invite attacks?Are Zebras full of zeal?P. S. Shake well and recite every morning in a shady place.
Have Angleworms attractive homes?Do Bumblebees have brains?Do Caterpillars carry combs?Do Dodos dote on drains?Can Eels elude elastic earls?Do Flatfish fish for flats?Are Grigs agreeable to girls?Do Hares have hunting-hats?Do Ices make an Ibex ill?Do Jackdaws jug their jam?Do Kites kiss all the kids they kill?Do Llamas live on lamb?Will Moles molest a mounted mink?Do Newts deny the news?Are Oysters boisterous when they drink?Do Parrots prowl in pews?Do Quakers get their quills from Quails?Do Rabbits rob on roads?Are Snakes supposed to sneer at snails?Do Tortoises tease toads?Can Unicorns perform on horns?Do Vipers value veal?Do Weasels weep when fast asleep?Can Xylophagans squeal?Do Yaks in packs invite attacks?Are Zebras full of zeal?
P. S. Shake well and recite every morning in a shady place.
"I don't believe a single one of them, and I never read such stuff!" exclaimed Dorothy, indignantly; andshe was just about to throw down the paper when Bob Scarlet suddenly appeared, hurrying along the path, and gazing anxiously from side to side as if he had lost something. As he came upon Dorothy, he started violently, and said "Shoo!" with great vehemence, and then, after staring at her a moment, added, "Oh, I beg your pardon—I thought you were a cat. Have you seen anything of my exercise?"
"Is this it?" said Dorothy, holding up the paper.
"That's it," said the Robin, in a tone of great satisfaction. "Shake it hard, please."
Dorothy gave the paper a good shake, after which Bob Scarlet took it and stuffed it into his waistcoat-pocket, remarking, "It has to be well shaken before I take it, you know."
"Is that the prescription?" said Dorothy, beginning to laugh.
"No, it's the postscription," replied the Robin, very seriously; "but, somehow, I never remember it till I come to it. I suppose it's put at the end so that I won't forget it the next time. You see, it's about the only exercise I have."
"I should think it was very good exercise," said Dorothy, trying to look serious again.
"Oh, it'sgoodenough, what there is of it," said the Robin, in an offhand way.
"But I'm sure there'senoughof it," said Dorothy.
"Thereisenough of it, such as it is," replied the Robin.
"Such as it is?" repeated Dorothy, beginning to feel a little perplexed. "Why, it'shardenough, I'm sure. It's enough to drive a person quite distracted."
"Well, it's a corker till you get used to it," said the Robin, strutting about. "There's such a tremendous variety to it, you see, that it exercises you all over at once."
This was so ridiculous that Dorothy laughed outright. "I shouldneverget used to it," she said. "I don't believe I know a single one of the answers."
"Ido!" said Bob Scarlet, proudly; "I know 'em all. It's 'No' to everything in it."
"Dear me!" said Dorothy, feeling quite provoked at herself, "of course it is. I never thought of that."
"And when you can answerthem," continued the Robin, with a very important air, "you can answer anything."
Now, as the Robin said this, it suddenly occurred to Dorothy that she had been lost for quite a long time,and that this was a good opportunity for getting a little information, so she said very politely: "Then I wish you'd please tell me where I am."
"Why, you'rehere," replied the Robin, promptly. "That's whatIcall an easy one."
"Butwhereis it?" said Dorothy.
"Where iswhat?" said the Robin, looking rather puzzled.
"'WHY, THE PLACE WHERE I AM,' SAID DOROTHY.""'WHY, THE PLACE WHERE I AM,' SAID DOROTHY."
"Why, the place where I am," said Dorothy.
"That's here, too," replied theRobin, and then, looking at her suspiciously, he added, "Come—no chaffing, you know. I won't have it."
"But I'mnotchaffing," said Dorothy, beginning to feel a little provoked; "it's only because you twist the things I say the wrong way."
"What do you say 'em the wrong way for, then?" said Bob Scarlet, irritably. "Why don't you get 'em straight?"
"DOROTHY STARTED OFF AT ONCE, AS FAST AS SHE COULD RUN.""DOROTHY STARTED OFF AT ONCE, AS FAST AS SHE COULD RUN."
"Dear me!" exclaimed Dorothy, now quite out of patience. "How dreadfully confusing it all is! Don't you understand?—I only want to know where the place is where I am now,—whereabouts in the geography, I mean," she added in desperation.
"It isn't in there at all," said Bob Scarlet, very decidedly. "There isn't a geography going that could hold on to it for five minutes."
"Do you mean that it isn'tanywhere?" exclaimed Dorothy, beginning to feel a little frightened.
"No, I don't," said Bob Scarlet, obstinately. "I mean that it is anywhere—anywhere that it chooses to be, you know; only it doesn'tstayanywhere any longer than it likes."
"Then I'm going away," said Dorothy, hastily. "I won't stay in such a place."
"Well, you'd better be quick about it," said the Robin, with a chuckle, "or there won't be any place to go awayfrom. I can feel it beginning to go now," and with this remark Bob Scarlet him self hurried away.
There was something so alarming in the idea of a place going away and leaving her behind, that Dorothy started off at once, as fast as she could run, and indeed she wasn't a moment too soon. The garden itself was already beginning to be very much agitated, and the clothes on the plants were folding themselves up in a fluttering sort of a way as she ran past them; and she noticed, moreover, that the little shoes on the shoe-shrub were so withered away that they looked like a lot of raisins. But she had no time to stop and look at such things, and she ran onand on until, to her delight, she came suddenly upon the little trap-door where she had come up. There wasn't a minute to spare, and she jumped down into the hole without so much as stopping to look back at the vanishing garden, and hurried down the little stairway. It was as dark as pitch, and as she ran down, going around and around, on the winding stairs, she could hear them folding up behind her like the slats of a blind; and she had just time to rush through the door at the bottom, when the trunk of the tree flapped inward like an empty bag and then shot up into the air.
"'IT IS A SHELF!' SHE EXCLAIMED.""'IT IS A SHELF!' SHE EXCLAIMED."
The first thing that Dorothy did was to draw a long breath over her narrow escape, and the next thing was to look up into the air to see what had become of the tree, and she saw the braided floor of the garden floating away, far above her head, with the flapping trunks of the trees dangling from it like a lot of one-legged trousers. This was a rather ridiculous spectacle, and when the floor presently shriveled up into a small brown patch, like a flying pancake, and then went entirely out of sight, she said "Pooh!" very contemptuously and felt quite brave again.
"It wasn't half so solemn as I expected," she went on, chattering to herself; "I certainly thought there would be all kinds of phenomeners, and, after all, it's precisely like nothing but a big basket of old clothes, blowing away. But it's just as well to be saved, ofcourse, only I don't know where I am any more than I did before. It's a kind of wooden floor, I think," she added, stamping on it with her little shoe; "and, dear me! I verily believe it's nothing but a shelf. Itisa shelf!" she exclaimed, peeping cautiously over the edge; "and there's the real floor ever so far away. I can never jump down there in the world without being dashed to destruction!"—and she was just thinking how it would do to hang from the edge of the shelf by her hands and then let herself drop (with her eyes shut, of course) when a little party of people came tumbling down through the air and fell in a heap close beside her. She gave a scream of dismay and then stood staring at them in utter bewilderment, for, as the party scrambled to their feet, she saw they were the Caravan, dressed up in the most extraordinary fashion, in little frocks and long shawls, and allwearing sunbonnets. The Highlander, with his usual bad luck, had put onhissunbonnet backward, with the crown over his face, and was struggling with it so helplessly that Dorothy rushed at him and got it off just in time to save him from being suffocated. In fact, he was so black in the face that she had to pound him on the back to bring him to.
"THE HIGHLANDER, WITH HIS USUAL BAD LUCK, HAD PUT ON HIS SUNBONNET BACKWARD.""THE HIGHLANDER, WITH HIS USUAL BAD LUCK, HAD PUT ON HIS SUNBONNET BACKWARD."
"We're disguised, you know," said the Admiral, breathlessly. "We found these things under the bed. Bob Scarlet isn't anywhere about, is he?" he added, staring around in an agitated manner through his spy-glass.
"About?" said Dorothy, trying to look serious. "I should think he was about five miles from here by this time."
"I wish it was five thousand," exclaimed Sir Walter, angrily, smoothing down his frock. "Old Peckjabber!"
"Why, what in the world is the matter?" said Dorothy, beginning to laugh in spite of herself.
"Matter!" exclaimed the Admiral, his voice fairly trembling with emotion; "why, look here! We was all shrinking away to nothing in that wanishing garden. Bob Scarlet himself was no bigger than an ant when we came away."
"And we wasn't any bigger than uncles," put in the Highlander.
"You'renot more than three inches high this minute," said Sir Walter, surveying Dorothy with a critical air, with his head cocked on one side.
"Goodness gracious!" exclaimed Dorothy, with astart. "It seems to me that's extremely small. I should think that I'd have felt it coming on."
"It comes on sort of sneaking, and you don't notice it," said the Admiral. "We'dhave been completely inwisible by this time if we hadn't jumped overboard."
"It was an awful jump!" said Dorothy, solemnly. "Didn't it hurt to fall so far?"
"Not at all," said the Admiral, cheerfully. "The falling part of it was quite agreeable—so cool and rushing, you know; but the landing was tremenjious severe."
"Banged us like anything," explained the Highlander; and with this the Caravan locked arms and walked away with the tails of their shawls trailing behind them.
"What strange little things they are!" said Dorothy, reflectively, as she walked along after them, "and they're for all the world precisely like arimated dolls—movable, you know," she added, not feeling quite sure that "arimated" was the proper word,—"and speaking of dolls, here's a perfect multitude of 'em!" she exclaimed, for just then she came upon a long row of dolls beautifully dressed, and standing ontheir heels with their heads against the wall. They were at least five times as big as Dorothy herself, and had price-tickets tucked into their sashes, such as "2/6,CHEAP," "5s.,REAL WAX," and so on; and Dorothy, clapping her hands in an ecstasy of delight, exclaimed: "Why, it's a monstrous, enormous toy-shop!" and then she hurried on to see what else there might be on exhibition.
"Marbles, prob'bly," she remarked, peering over the edge of a basket full of what looked like enormous stone cannon-balls of various colors; "for mastodons,Ishould say, only I don't know astheyever play marbles,—grocery shop, full of dear little drawers with real knobs on 'em,—'pothecary's shop withtruepill-boxes," she went on, examining one delightful thing after another; "and here's a farm out of a box, and all the same funny old things—trees with green shavings on them and fences with feet so they'll stand up, and here's the dear fam'ly, same size as the trees and the houses, of course, and—oh! I beg your pardon," she exclaimed, for her frock had touched the farmer and knocked him over flat on his back. "And here's a Noah's Ark, full of higgledy-piggledy animals—why, what are you doing here?"she cried, for just at that moment she suddenly discovered the Caravan, all huddled together at the door of the ark, and apparently discussing something of vast importance.
"We're buying a camel," said the Admiral, excitedly; "they've got just the one we want for the Caravan."
"His name is Humphrey," shouted the Highlander, uproariously, "and he's got three humps!"
"Nonsense!" cried Dorothy, bursting into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. "There never was such a thing."
"They have 'em in arks," said the Admiral, very earnestly. "You can findanythingin arks if you only go deep enough. I've seen 'em with patriarchs in 'em, 'way down at the bottom."
"Didtheyhave any humps?" inquired the Highlander with an air of great interest.
Dorothy went off again into a burst of laughter at this. "He's really the most ignorant little creature I ever saw," she said.
"I thought they was something to ride on," said the Highlander, sulkily; "otherwise, I say, let 'em keep out of arks!" The rest of the Caravan evidentlysided with him in this opinion, and after staring at Dorothy for a moment with great disfavor they all called out "Old Proudie!" and solemnly walked off in a row as before.
"I believe I shall have a fit if I meet them again," said Dorothy to herself, laughing till her eyes were full of tears. "They're certainly the foolishest things I ever saw," and with this she walked away through the shop, and was just beginning to look at the toys again, when she came suddenly upon an old dame sitting contentedly in the shop in a great arm-chair. She was eating porridge out of a bowl in her lap, and her head was so close to the edge of the shelf that Dorothy almost walked into her cap.
"Drat the toys!" cried the old dame, starting so violently that her spectacles fell off her nose into the porridge. "Drat the new-fangled things!"—and here she aimed a blow at Dorothy with her spoon. "They're enough to scare folks out of their senses. Givemethe old-fashioned kind—deaf and dumb and blind and stiff"—but by this time Dorothy, almost frightened out of her wits, had run away and was hiding behind a doll's sofa.
"She'sa nice person to have charge of a shop," sheexclaimed indignantly, as she listened to the old dame scolding to herself in the distance. "The idea of not knowing human persons when you see them! Of course, being so smallisrather unusual, and it's really quite dangerous, you know," she went on, giving a little shiver at the thought of what might have happened. "Just fancy being wrapped up in a piece of stiff paper by mistake—shrieking wouldn't do the least good because, of course, she's deaf as anything—"
"How much are you a dozen?" said a voice, and Dorothy, looking around, saw that it was a Dancing-Jack in the shop-window speaking to her. He was a gorgeous creature, with bells on the seams of his clothes and with arms and legs of different colors, and he was lounging in an easy attitude with his right leg thrown over the top of a toy livery-stable and his left foot in a large ornamental tea-cup; but as he was fastened to a hook by a loop in the top of his hat, Dorothy didn't feel in the least afraid of him.
"Thank you," she replied with much dignity, "I'm not a dozen at all. I'm a single person. Thatsounds kind of unmarried," she thought to herself, "but it's the exact truth."
"'YOU KNOW YOUR SIZE DOES COME IN DOZENS, ASSORTED,' CONTINUED THE JACK.""'YOU KNOW YOUR SIZE DOES COME IN DOZENS, ASSORTED,' CONTINUED THE JACK."
"No offense, I hope," said the Jack, looking somewhat abashed.
"No—not exactly," said Dorothy rather stiffly.
"You know, your sizedoescome in dozens—assorted," continued the Jack, with quite a professionalair. "Family of nine, two maids with dusters, and cook with removable apron. Very popular, I believe."
"So I should think," remarked Dorothy, beginning to recover her good nature.
"But of coursesinglesare much more select," said the Jack. "Wenever come in dozens, you know."
"I suppose not," said Dorothy, innocently. "I can't imagine anybody wanting twelve Dancing-Jacks all at the same time."
"It wouldn't do any good if they did want 'em," said the Jack. "They couldn't get 'em,—that is, not inthisshop."
Now, while this conversation was going on, Dorothy noticed that the various things in the shop-window had a curious way of constantly turning into something else. She discovered this by seeing a little bunch of yellow peg-tops change into a plateful of pears while she chanced to be looking at them; and a moment afterward she caught a doll's saucepan, that was hanging in one corner of the window, just in the act of quietly turning into a battledore with a red morocco handle. This struck her as being such a remarkable performance that she immediately began looking at one thing after another, and watching the various changes, until she was quite bewildered.
"It's something like a Christmas pantomime," she said to herself; "and it isn't the slightest use, you know, trying to fancy what anything's going to be, because everything that happens is so unproblesome. I don't know where I gotthatword from," she went on, "but it seems to express exactly what I mean. F'r instance, there's a little cradle that's just been turned into a coal-scuttle, and ifthatisn't unproblesome, well then—never mind!" (which, as you know, is a ridiculous way little girls have of finishing their sentences.)
By this time she had got around again to the toy livery-stable, and she was extremely pleased to find that it had turned into a smart little baronial castle with a turret at each end, and that the ornamental tea-cup was just changing, with a good deal of a flourish, into a small rowboat floating in a little stream that ran by the castle walls.
"Come,that'sthe finest thing yet!" exclaimed Dorothy, looking at all this with great admiration; "and I wish a brazen knight would come out with a trumpet and blow a blast"—you see, she was quite romantic at times—and she was just admiring the clever way in which the boat was getting rid of the handle of the tea-cup, when the Dancing-Jack suddenly stopped talking, and began scrambling over the roof of the castle. He was extremely pale, and, to Dorothy's alarm, spots of bright colors were coming out all over him, as if he had been made of stained glass, and was being lighted up from the inside.
"I believe I'm going to turn into something," he said, glaring wildly about, and speaking in a very agitated voice.
"Goodness!" exclaimed Dorothy in dismay; "what do you suppose it's going to be?"
"I think—" said the Jack, solemnly,—"I think it's going to be a patchwork quilt," but just as he was finishing this remark a sort of wriggle passed through him, and, to Dorothy's amazement, he turned into a slender Harlequin all made up of spangles and shining triangles.
Now this was all very well, and, of course, much better than turning into a quilt of any sort; but as the Dancing-Jack's last remark went on without stopping, and was taken charge of, so to speak, and finished by the Harlequin, it mixed up the two in a very confusing way. In fact, by the time the remark came to an end, Dorothy didn't really know which of them was talking to her, and, to make matters worse,the Harlequin vanished for a moment, and then reappeared, about one half of his original size, coming out of the door of the castle with an unconcerned air as if he hadn't had anything to do with the affair.
"It's dreadfully confusing," said Dorothy to herself, "not to know which of two persons is talking to you, 'specially when there's really only one of them here"; but she never had a chance to find out anything about the matter, for in the mean time a part of the castle had quietly turned upside down, and was now a little stone bridge with the stream flowing beneath it, and the Harlequin, who was constantly getting smaller and smaller, was standing with one foot in the boat as if he were trying to choose between taking a little excursion on the water and going out of sight altogether.
"Excuse me—but did you say anything?" said Dorothy, feeling quite sure that there was no time to be lost.
"All thatIsaid was 'quilt,'" replied the Harlequin; "I suppose there's no particular harm in that?"
"Oh, dear, no!" said Dorothy, hastily; "only it seems a rather queer way of beginning a conversation, you know."
"It's as good as any other way if it's all you have to say," said the Harlequin, and by this time he had both feet in the boat, and had evidently decided on the water excursion, for, before Dorothy could think of anything more to say to him, he sailed away under the bridge and disappeared.