—— —— ——My dear Williamson:This will be presented to you by our distinguished countryman, Mr. —— , who proposes a brief visit to your enterprising city, chiefly for professional purposes. It affords me great pleasure to be the means of securing to friends whom I so highly value, the gratification I feel assured you and Mr. —— will derive from knowing each other.With the best wishes for your mutual success and happiness, I am, my dear sir,Very truly yours,—— ——.To —— ——, Esq.In the instance of a celebrity, occupying at the time a space in the world's eye, something like this will suffice:Boston,August 1st, 1863.My dear Friend:Itgives me pleasure to present to your acquaintance a gentleman from whose society you cannot fail to derive high enjoyment. Mr. —— [or the Hon. ——, or Gen. ——][8]needs no eulogyof mine to render his reputation familiar to you, identified as it is with the literature of our country [or the scientific fame, or the eloquence of the pulpit, etc.] Commending my friend to your courtesy, believe me, my dear Jones,Truly your friend and servant,—— ——.Rev. —— ——.Letters of introduction should always beunsealed, and, as a rule, should relate only to the affairs of the bearer, not even passingly to those of the writer or his correspondent. When it is desirable to write what cannot, for any reason, be properly introduced into the open letter, a separate andsealedcommunication may be written and sent, with a polite apology, or brief explanation, with the other.When letters of introduction are delivered in person, they should be sent by the servant who admits you, together with your card, to the lady or gentleman to whom they are addressed, as the most convenient mode of announcing yourself, and the object of your visit.When you do not find the person you wish to see, write yourtemporary addressupon your card, as "At the American Hotel"—"With Mrs. Henry, 22 Washington-st."—"At Hon. John Berkley's," etc. Should yousendyour letter, accompany it by your card andpresentaddress, and inclose both together in an envelope directed to the person for whom they are designed. When your stay is limited and brief, it is suitable to add upon your card, together with an accuratedate—"For to-day," or, "To remain but two or three days." And in case of any explanation, or apology, or request being requisite, such as you would have made in apersonalinterview, writea note, to be inclosed with the letter of presentation. Every omission of these courtesies that may occasion trouble, or inconvenience to others, is ill-bred, and may easily serve to prejudice strangers against you.Sometimes it is well to make an appointment through the card you leave, or send, with a letter, or for a stranger whom you wish to meet, as—"At the Globe Hotel,this evening," with a date, or thus—"Will pay his respects to Mrs. ——, to-morrow morning, with her permission."A letter introducing a young man, still "unknown to fame," to a lady of fashion, or of distinguished social position, may be expressed somewhat in this manner:ToMrs. Modish,[9]No. 14 Belgrave PlaceCharleston, S. C.Astor House, New York,Jan. 27th, 1863.Dear Madam:Permit me to present to you my friend, Mr. James Stuart—a gentleman whose polished manners and irreproachable character embolden meto request for him the honor of an acquaintance with even so fastidious and accomplished an arbiter of fashion as yourself.Mr. Stuart will be able to give you all the information you may desire respecting our mutual friends and acquaintances in society here.Do me the honor to make my very respectful compliments to the Misses Modish, and to believe me, dear madam,Most respectfully,Your friend and servant,Robert B. Hawks.Mrs. Modish.Letters presentingforeigners, should designate the country and particular locality to which they belong, as well as the purpose of their tour, as—"The Chevalier Bonné, of Berne, Switzerland whose object in visiting our young Republic is not only the wish to compare our social and political institutions with those of his own country, but the collection ofspecimensandinformationrespecting theNatural Historyof the United States. Such assistance as you may be able to render my learned friend, in facilitating his particular researches, will confer a favor upon me, my dear sir, which I shall ever gratefully remember," etc., etc.The subject of letters of introduction naturally suggests that ofpersonal introductions, in relation to which the grossest mistakes and the greatest carelessness are prevalent, even among well-bred people.In making persons acquainted with each other, the form of words may vary almost with every different occasion, but there are certain rules that should never be overlooked, since they refer to considerations of abstract propriety.Younger persons and inferiors in social rank, should, almost invariably, bepresented totheir seniors and superiors. Thus, one should not say—"Mr. Smith, let me introduce Mr. Washington Irving to you," but "Mr. Irving, will you allow me to introduce Mr. John Smith to you?" Or, "Permit me to present Mr. Smith to you, sir," presupposing that Mr. Smith does not need to be informed to whom he is about to be introduced. It is difficult to express upon paper the difference of signification conveyed by the mode ofintonatinga sentence. "General Scott, Mr. Jones," may be so pronounced as to present the latter gentlemen to our distinguished countryman, in a simple, but admissible manner, or it may illustrate the impropriety of naming a man of mark to a person who makes no pretensions to social equality with him.Usually, men should be introduced to women, upon the principle that precedence is always yielded to the latter; but, even in this case, an exception may properly be made in the instance of an introduction between avery young, or, otherwise, wholly unindividualized woman, and a man of high position, or of venerable age. A half-playful variation from the ordinary phraseology of this ceremony, may sometimes be adopted, under such circumstances, with good taste, as—"This young lady desires the pleasure of knowing you, sir—Miss Williams," or, "Mr. Prescott, this is my niece, Miss Ada Byron Robinson."When there is a "distinction without a difference" between two persons, or when hospitality interdicts your assuming to decide a nice point in this regard, it may be waived by merelynamingthe parties in such a way as to give precedence to neither—thus: "Gentlemen, allow me—Mr. W——, Mr. V——," or, "Gentlemen, allow me the pleasure of making you known to each other," and then simply pronounce the names of the two persons.By the way, let me call your attention to the importance of anaudibleanddistinctenunciation ofnames, when assuming to make an introduction. Aquiet, self-possessed manner, andintelligibilityshould be regarded as essential at such times.When introducing persons who are necessarily wholly unacquainted with each other's antecedents of station or circumstance, it is eminently proper to add a brief explanation, as—"Mr. Preudhomne, let me introduce my brother-in-law, General Peters,—Mr. Preudhomne, of Paris," or; "Mrs. Blandon, with your permission, I will present to you Señor Abenno, a Spanish gentleman. Señor A. speaks French perfectly, but is unacquainted with our language;" or, "Mr. Smithson, this is my friend Mr. Brown, of Philadelphia—like ourselves,a merchant;" or, "My dear, this is Captain Blevin, of the good shipNeversink,—Mrs. Nephews, sir."Never say "My wife," or "Mydaughter," or "My sister," "My father-in-law," or the like, without giving each their proper ceremonious title. How should a stranger know whether your "daughter" is—"Sole daughter of your house and heart,"or Miss "Lucy," or "Belinda," the third or fourth in the order of time, and, consequently, of precedence, or what may chance to be the name of your father-in-law, or half-sister, etc., etc.Well-bred people address each other by name, when conversing, and hence the awkwardness occasioned by this vulgar habit, which is only equalled by that of speaking of your wife as "My wife,"[10]or worse still, "my lady!" Is it not enough, when your friends know that you are married, and are perfectly familiar with your own name, to speak of "Mrs. ——," and to introduce them to the mistress of your house by that designation?It is a solecism in good manners to suppose it unsuitable to designate the members of your own family by their proper titles under all circumstances that would render it suitable and convenient to do so in the instance of other persons. Never fall into theAmericanpeculiarity on this point, I entreat you. Say—"My father, Dr. V——," or "My sister, Miss V——," "Mrs. Col. V——, my sister-in-law," or, "My sister, Mrs. John Jenkins," with as scrupulous a regard for rank and precedence, as though dealing with strangers. Indeed, you virtuallyignore all personal considerations, while acting in a social relation merely.The rules of etiquette very properly interdictindiscriminate introductionsin general society. No one has a right to thrust the acquaintance of persons upon each other without their permission, or, at least, without some assurance that it will be agreeable to them to know each other. Strangers meeting at the house of a mutual friend, in a morning visit, or the like, converse with each other, or join in the general conversation without an introduction, which it is not usual among fashionable people to give under such circumstances. If you wish to present a gentleman of your acquaintance to a lady, you first ask her permission, either in person or by note, to take him to her house, if she be married, or to do so at a party, etc., where you may chance to meet her. In the instance of a very young lady, propriety demands your obtaining the consent of one of her parents before adding to her list of male acquaintances, unless you are upon such terms of intimacy with her family and herself, as to render this superfluous; and so with all your friends. It is better, however, even where unceremoniousness is admissible, to err upon the safer side.Among men, greater license may be taken; but,as a rule, I repeat, persons arenotintroduced in the street, in pump-rooms, in the public parlors of hotels, or watering-places, meeting incidentally at receptions or at morning visits, etc.; and not even when they are your guests at large dinners, or soirées, without their previous assent or request.Of course, such rules, like all the laws of convention, are established and followed for convenience, and should not be regarded, like those of the Medes and Persians, as unchangeable. Good sense and good feeling will vary them with the changes of circumstance. No amiable person, for instance, will hesitate to set them aside for the observance of the more imperative law of kindness, when associated with those who are ignorant of their existence (as many really excellent persons are), and would be pained by their strict observance. Neither should the most punctilious sticklers for form think it necessary to make a parade of the mere letter of such rules, at any time. It is the spirit we want, for the promotion of social convenience and propriety.Perhaps it may be as well in this connection as in any other, to say a word about the matter ofvisiting cards.Fashion sanctions a variety of forms for this necessary appendage. In Europe, it is very common to affix the professional or political title to the name, as "—— ——, Professor in the University of Heidelburg," or, "—— ——, Conseiller d'Etat,"; and an Englishman in public life often has on his card thecabalistic characters—"In H.M.S."—(in Her Majesty's Service). Among the best-bred Americans, I think the prevalent usage is to adopt thesimple signature, as "Henry Wise," or to prefix the title of Mr., as "Mr. Seward." Sometimes,—particularly for cards to be used away from home—the place of residence is also engraved in one corner below the name.[11]Europeans occasionally adopt the practice of having the corners of the reverse side of their cards engraven across with such convenient words as "Pour dire Adieu" (to say good bye). "Congratulation" (to offer congratulations). "Pour affaire" (on an errand, or on business). "Arrivé" (tantamount to "in town"). The appropriate corner is turned over, as occasion requires, and the sentence is thus brought into notice on thesame side with the name.Business cardsshould never be used in social life, nor should flourishes, ornamental devices, or generally unintelligible characters be employed. A smooth,whitecard, of moderate size, with a plain, legible inscription of the name, is in unexceptionable taste andton, suitable for all occasions, and sufficient for all purposes, with the addition, when circumstances require it, of a pencilled word or sentence. But to return to our main subject.Letters of Recommendationpartake of the general character of those of introduction. It is sufficient to add, in regard to them, that they should beconscientiouslyexpressed. All that can be truthfully said for the advantage of the bearer, should be included;but, as I have before remarked, no one is obliged to compromise his own integrity to advance the interests of others in this manner, more than in any other.Letters of Condolencerequire great care and delicacy of composition. They should relate chiefly, as a rule, to the subject by which they are elicited, and expresssympathyrather than aim atadministering consolation. No general directions can be made to embrace the peculiarities of circumstance in this regard. Suffice it to say that the inspiration of genuine feeling will dictate rather expressions of kindly interest for the sufferer you address, of respect and regard for a departed friend, or an appreciation of the magnitude of the misfortune you deplore, rather than coldly polished sentences and prolonged reference to one's self.Letters of Congratulationshould embody cheerfulness and cordiality of sentiment, and be at an equal remove from an exaggeration of style, suggesting the idea of insincerity or of covert ridicule, and from chilling politeness, or indications of indifference. To "rejoice with those who rejoice" is indeed a pleasing and easy task for those who are blessed with a genial nature, and enrich themselves by partaking in the good fortune of others. Letters expressing this pleasure admit of a little more egotism than is sanctioned by decorum in some other cases. One may be allowed to allude to one's own feelings when so pleasurably associated with those of one's correspondent.Brevityis quite admissible in letters both of condolence and felicitation—referring, as they properly do, chiefly toone topic; it is in better taste not to introduce extraneous matter into them, especially when they are of a merely ceremonious nature.Letters to Superiors in Station or Agedemand a respectful and laconic style. No familiarity of address, no colloquialisms, pleasantries, or digressions, are admissible in them. They should be commenced with a ceremoniously-respectful address carefully and concisely expressed, and concluded with an elaborate formula, of established phraseology. The name of the person to whom they are written should beplaced near the lower, left hand edge of the sheet, together with his ceremonious title, etc. No abbreviations of words—and none of titles, unsanctioned by established usage, should be introduced into such letters, and they should bear at the commencement, below the date, and on the left hand side of the paper, the name of the person addressed, thus:Washington City,Feb. 2d, 1863.Honorable Edward Everett:—Sir,. . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .I am, sir,Very respectfully,Your humble servant,J. F. Carpenter.Hon. Edward Everett,Secretary of State, for the U. S.
—— —— ——My dear Williamson:This will be presented to you by our distinguished countryman, Mr. —— , who proposes a brief visit to your enterprising city, chiefly for professional purposes. It affords me great pleasure to be the means of securing to friends whom I so highly value, the gratification I feel assured you and Mr. —— will derive from knowing each other.With the best wishes for your mutual success and happiness, I am, my dear sir,Very truly yours,—— ——.To —— ——, Esq.
—— —— ——
My dear Williamson:
This will be presented to you by our distinguished countryman, Mr. —— , who proposes a brief visit to your enterprising city, chiefly for professional purposes. It affords me great pleasure to be the means of securing to friends whom I so highly value, the gratification I feel assured you and Mr. —— will derive from knowing each other.
With the best wishes for your mutual success and happiness, I am, my dear sir,
Very truly yours,—— ——.
To —— ——, Esq.
In the instance of a celebrity, occupying at the time a space in the world's eye, something like this will suffice:
Boston,August 1st, 1863.My dear Friend:Itgives me pleasure to present to your acquaintance a gentleman from whose society you cannot fail to derive high enjoyment. Mr. —— [or the Hon. ——, or Gen. ——][8]needs no eulogyof mine to render his reputation familiar to you, identified as it is with the literature of our country [or the scientific fame, or the eloquence of the pulpit, etc.] Commending my friend to your courtesy, believe me, my dear Jones,Truly your friend and servant,—— ——.Rev. —— ——.
Boston,August 1st, 1863.
My dear Friend:
Itgives me pleasure to present to your acquaintance a gentleman from whose society you cannot fail to derive high enjoyment. Mr. —— [or the Hon. ——, or Gen. ——][8]needs no eulogyof mine to render his reputation familiar to you, identified as it is with the literature of our country [or the scientific fame, or the eloquence of the pulpit, etc.] Commending my friend to your courtesy, believe me, my dear Jones,
Truly your friend and servant,—— ——.
Rev. —— ——.
Letters of introduction should always beunsealed, and, as a rule, should relate only to the affairs of the bearer, not even passingly to those of the writer or his correspondent. When it is desirable to write what cannot, for any reason, be properly introduced into the open letter, a separate andsealedcommunication may be written and sent, with a polite apology, or brief explanation, with the other.
When letters of introduction are delivered in person, they should be sent by the servant who admits you, together with your card, to the lady or gentleman to whom they are addressed, as the most convenient mode of announcing yourself, and the object of your visit.
When you do not find the person you wish to see, write yourtemporary addressupon your card, as "At the American Hotel"—"With Mrs. Henry, 22 Washington-st."—"At Hon. John Berkley's," etc. Should yousendyour letter, accompany it by your card andpresentaddress, and inclose both together in an envelope directed to the person for whom they are designed. When your stay is limited and brief, it is suitable to add upon your card, together with an accuratedate—"For to-day," or, "To remain but two or three days." And in case of any explanation, or apology, or request being requisite, such as you would have made in apersonalinterview, writea note, to be inclosed with the letter of presentation. Every omission of these courtesies that may occasion trouble, or inconvenience to others, is ill-bred, and may easily serve to prejudice strangers against you.
Sometimes it is well to make an appointment through the card you leave, or send, with a letter, or for a stranger whom you wish to meet, as—"At the Globe Hotel,this evening," with a date, or thus—"Will pay his respects to Mrs. ——, to-morrow morning, with her permission."
A letter introducing a young man, still "unknown to fame," to a lady of fashion, or of distinguished social position, may be expressed somewhat in this manner:
ToMrs. Modish,[9]No. 14 Belgrave PlaceCharleston, S. C.Astor House, New York,Jan. 27th, 1863.Dear Madam:Permit me to present to you my friend, Mr. James Stuart—a gentleman whose polished manners and irreproachable character embolden meto request for him the honor of an acquaintance with even so fastidious and accomplished an arbiter of fashion as yourself.Mr. Stuart will be able to give you all the information you may desire respecting our mutual friends and acquaintances in society here.Do me the honor to make my very respectful compliments to the Misses Modish, and to believe me, dear madam,Most respectfully,Your friend and servant,Robert B. Hawks.Mrs. Modish.
ToMrs. Modish,[9]No. 14 Belgrave PlaceCharleston, S. C.
To
Mrs. Modish,[9]
No. 14 Belgrave Place
Charleston, S. C.
Astor House, New York,Jan. 27th, 1863.
Dear Madam:
Permit me to present to you my friend, Mr. James Stuart—a gentleman whose polished manners and irreproachable character embolden meto request for him the honor of an acquaintance with even so fastidious and accomplished an arbiter of fashion as yourself.
Mr. Stuart will be able to give you all the information you may desire respecting our mutual friends and acquaintances in society here.
Do me the honor to make my very respectful compliments to the Misses Modish, and to believe me, dear madam,
Most respectfully,Your friend and servant,Robert B. Hawks.
Mrs. Modish.
Letters presentingforeigners, should designate the country and particular locality to which they belong, as well as the purpose of their tour, as—"The Chevalier Bonné, of Berne, Switzerland whose object in visiting our young Republic is not only the wish to compare our social and political institutions with those of his own country, but the collection ofspecimensandinformationrespecting theNatural Historyof the United States. Such assistance as you may be able to render my learned friend, in facilitating his particular researches, will confer a favor upon me, my dear sir, which I shall ever gratefully remember," etc., etc.
The subject of letters of introduction naturally suggests that ofpersonal introductions, in relation to which the grossest mistakes and the greatest carelessness are prevalent, even among well-bred people.
In making persons acquainted with each other, the form of words may vary almost with every different occasion, but there are certain rules that should never be overlooked, since they refer to considerations of abstract propriety.
Younger persons and inferiors in social rank, should, almost invariably, bepresented totheir seniors and superiors. Thus, one should not say—"Mr. Smith, let me introduce Mr. Washington Irving to you," but "Mr. Irving, will you allow me to introduce Mr. John Smith to you?" Or, "Permit me to present Mr. Smith to you, sir," presupposing that Mr. Smith does not need to be informed to whom he is about to be introduced. It is difficult to express upon paper the difference of signification conveyed by the mode ofintonatinga sentence. "General Scott, Mr. Jones," may be so pronounced as to present the latter gentlemen to our distinguished countryman, in a simple, but admissible manner, or it may illustrate the impropriety of naming a man of mark to a person who makes no pretensions to social equality with him.
Usually, men should be introduced to women, upon the principle that precedence is always yielded to the latter; but, even in this case, an exception may properly be made in the instance of an introduction between avery young, or, otherwise, wholly unindividualized woman, and a man of high position, or of venerable age. A half-playful variation from the ordinary phraseology of this ceremony, may sometimes be adopted, under such circumstances, with good taste, as—"This young lady desires the pleasure of knowing you, sir—Miss Williams," or, "Mr. Prescott, this is my niece, Miss Ada Byron Robinson."
When there is a "distinction without a difference" between two persons, or when hospitality interdicts your assuming to decide a nice point in this regard, it may be waived by merelynamingthe parties in such a way as to give precedence to neither—thus: "Gentlemen, allow me—Mr. W——, Mr. V——," or, "Gentlemen, allow me the pleasure of making you known to each other," and then simply pronounce the names of the two persons.
By the way, let me call your attention to the importance of anaudibleanddistinctenunciation ofnames, when assuming to make an introduction. Aquiet, self-possessed manner, andintelligibilityshould be regarded as essential at such times.
When introducing persons who are necessarily wholly unacquainted with each other's antecedents of station or circumstance, it is eminently proper to add a brief explanation, as—"Mr. Preudhomne, let me introduce my brother-in-law, General Peters,—Mr. Preudhomne, of Paris," or; "Mrs. Blandon, with your permission, I will present to you Señor Abenno, a Spanish gentleman. Señor A. speaks French perfectly, but is unacquainted with our language;" or, "Mr. Smithson, this is my friend Mr. Brown, of Philadelphia—like ourselves,a merchant;" or, "My dear, this is Captain Blevin, of the good shipNeversink,—Mrs. Nephews, sir."
Never say "My wife," or "Mydaughter," or "My sister," "My father-in-law," or the like, without giving each their proper ceremonious title. How should a stranger know whether your "daughter" is—
"Sole daughter of your house and heart,"
or Miss "Lucy," or "Belinda," the third or fourth in the order of time, and, consequently, of precedence, or what may chance to be the name of your father-in-law, or half-sister, etc., etc.
Well-bred people address each other by name, when conversing, and hence the awkwardness occasioned by this vulgar habit, which is only equalled by that of speaking of your wife as "My wife,"[10]or worse still, "my lady!" Is it not enough, when your friends know that you are married, and are perfectly familiar with your own name, to speak of "Mrs. ——," and to introduce them to the mistress of your house by that designation?
It is a solecism in good manners to suppose it unsuitable to designate the members of your own family by their proper titles under all circumstances that would render it suitable and convenient to do so in the instance of other persons. Never fall into theAmericanpeculiarity on this point, I entreat you. Say—"My father, Dr. V——," or "My sister, Miss V——," "Mrs. Col. V——, my sister-in-law," or, "My sister, Mrs. John Jenkins," with as scrupulous a regard for rank and precedence, as though dealing with strangers. Indeed, you virtuallyignore all personal considerations, while acting in a social relation merely.
The rules of etiquette very properly interdictindiscriminate introductionsin general society. No one has a right to thrust the acquaintance of persons upon each other without their permission, or, at least, without some assurance that it will be agreeable to them to know each other. Strangers meeting at the house of a mutual friend, in a morning visit, or the like, converse with each other, or join in the general conversation without an introduction, which it is not usual among fashionable people to give under such circumstances. If you wish to present a gentleman of your acquaintance to a lady, you first ask her permission, either in person or by note, to take him to her house, if she be married, or to do so at a party, etc., where you may chance to meet her. In the instance of a very young lady, propriety demands your obtaining the consent of one of her parents before adding to her list of male acquaintances, unless you are upon such terms of intimacy with her family and herself, as to render this superfluous; and so with all your friends. It is better, however, even where unceremoniousness is admissible, to err upon the safer side.
Among men, greater license may be taken; but,as a rule, I repeat, persons arenotintroduced in the street, in pump-rooms, in the public parlors of hotels, or watering-places, meeting incidentally at receptions or at morning visits, etc.; and not even when they are your guests at large dinners, or soirées, without their previous assent or request.
Of course, such rules, like all the laws of convention, are established and followed for convenience, and should not be regarded, like those of the Medes and Persians, as unchangeable. Good sense and good feeling will vary them with the changes of circumstance. No amiable person, for instance, will hesitate to set them aside for the observance of the more imperative law of kindness, when associated with those who are ignorant of their existence (as many really excellent persons are), and would be pained by their strict observance. Neither should the most punctilious sticklers for form think it necessary to make a parade of the mere letter of such rules, at any time. It is the spirit we want, for the promotion of social convenience and propriety.
Perhaps it may be as well in this connection as in any other, to say a word about the matter ofvisiting cards.
Fashion sanctions a variety of forms for this necessary appendage. In Europe, it is very common to affix the professional or political title to the name, as "—— ——, Professor in the University of Heidelburg," or, "—— ——, Conseiller d'Etat,"; and an Englishman in public life often has on his card thecabalistic characters—"In H.M.S."—(in Her Majesty's Service). Among the best-bred Americans, I think the prevalent usage is to adopt thesimple signature, as "Henry Wise," or to prefix the title of Mr., as "Mr. Seward." Sometimes,—particularly for cards to be used away from home—the place of residence is also engraved in one corner below the name.[11]
Europeans occasionally adopt the practice of having the corners of the reverse side of their cards engraven across with such convenient words as "Pour dire Adieu" (to say good bye). "Congratulation" (to offer congratulations). "Pour affaire" (on an errand, or on business). "Arrivé" (tantamount to "in town"). The appropriate corner is turned over, as occasion requires, and the sentence is thus brought into notice on thesame side with the name.
Business cardsshould never be used in social life, nor should flourishes, ornamental devices, or generally unintelligible characters be employed. A smooth,whitecard, of moderate size, with a plain, legible inscription of the name, is in unexceptionable taste andton, suitable for all occasions, and sufficient for all purposes, with the addition, when circumstances require it, of a pencilled word or sentence. But to return to our main subject.
Letters of Recommendationpartake of the general character of those of introduction. It is sufficient to add, in regard to them, that they should beconscientiouslyexpressed. All that can be truthfully said for the advantage of the bearer, should be included;but, as I have before remarked, no one is obliged to compromise his own integrity to advance the interests of others in this manner, more than in any other.
Letters of Condolencerequire great care and delicacy of composition. They should relate chiefly, as a rule, to the subject by which they are elicited, and expresssympathyrather than aim atadministering consolation. No general directions can be made to embrace the peculiarities of circumstance in this regard. Suffice it to say that the inspiration of genuine feeling will dictate rather expressions of kindly interest for the sufferer you address, of respect and regard for a departed friend, or an appreciation of the magnitude of the misfortune you deplore, rather than coldly polished sentences and prolonged reference to one's self.
Letters of Congratulationshould embody cheerfulness and cordiality of sentiment, and be at an equal remove from an exaggeration of style, suggesting the idea of insincerity or of covert ridicule, and from chilling politeness, or indications of indifference. To "rejoice with those who rejoice" is indeed a pleasing and easy task for those who are blessed with a genial nature, and enrich themselves by partaking in the good fortune of others. Letters expressing this pleasure admit of a little more egotism than is sanctioned by decorum in some other cases. One may be allowed to allude to one's own feelings when so pleasurably associated with those of one's correspondent.
Brevityis quite admissible in letters both of condolence and felicitation—referring, as they properly do, chiefly toone topic; it is in better taste not to introduce extraneous matter into them, especially when they are of a merely ceremonious nature.
Letters to Superiors in Station or Agedemand a respectful and laconic style. No familiarity of address, no colloquialisms, pleasantries, or digressions, are admissible in them. They should be commenced with a ceremoniously-respectful address carefully and concisely expressed, and concluded with an elaborate formula, of established phraseology. The name of the person to whom they are written should beplaced near the lower, left hand edge of the sheet, together with his ceremonious title, etc. No abbreviations of words—and none of titles, unsanctioned by established usage, should be introduced into such letters, and they should bear at the commencement, below the date, and on the left hand side of the paper, the name of the person addressed, thus:
Washington City,Feb. 2d, 1863.
Honorable Edward Everett:—
Sir,
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . .
I am, sir,Very respectfully,Your humble servant,J. F. Carpenter.
Hon. Edward Everett,Secretary of State, for the U. S.
Hon. Edward Everett,
Secretary of State, for the U. S.