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PUBLIC NOTICES
NOTICE.—The Turkish artillery is requested to refrain from wasting ammunition whilst our meals are being served.
PUBLIC NOTICE.—The Electric Elevator will not be working up the gullies for a while. Some cook stole the current to make a pudding.
KABA TEPE MUSEUM.—Come and see! A piece of long extinct Australian butter now being exhibited.
Admission.—One slice of bread.
BENEVOLENT HOME.—The Editor has established a home for lost newspapers and books. Any books or papers may be left there and no questions asked.
MEDICAL.—Men suffering from a feeling of fullness after eating, are requested to state where they got the extra rations from.
WARNING.—Men are advised to keep their eyes open for an individual wearing pink pyjamas, green glasses, straw hat and khaki mackintosh. It is thought that this is a spy in disguise.
PERSONAL, MISSING FRIENDS, etc.
LAST seen two months ago in Scotland, at the Duke of Buckington’s grouse shoot. Pte. Bert Backblocks. Left Gallipoli with serious wound in fingernail early in May. Any information as to present whereabouts of above will be gratefully received by Adjutant, 101st Battn.
CHARLIE.—Come back, dearest. A warm welcome is prepared for you. Loving arms will enfold you.—Serg.-Maj. Bawler.
OH how we missed you, dearest Bill,On that famed August nine,We think about you, Billie, stillIn Cairo drinking wine.
OH how we missed you, dearest Bill,On that famed August nine,We think about you, Billie, stillIn Cairo drinking wine.
OH how we missed you, dearest Bill,On that famed August nine,We think about you, Billie, stillIn Cairo drinking wine.
OH how we missed you, dearest Bill,
On that famed August nine,
We think about you, Billie, still
In Cairo drinking wine.
MISSING.—A little tot. It’s rum where it’s got to.
MISSING FRIENDS, ETC.—Will the girl who smiled at William Tomkins last Boxing Day please write to him at once?
LOST BY A POOR PERSON.—A strong pipe, last smelt in someone’s pocket up Monash Gully.
LOST.—Pair of field glasses. Finder please return same to our Champion Optimist.
WANTED
WANTED.—The address of a good barber. One able to cut hair and shave preferred. Apply any platoon.
WANTED.—Section commander requires pair of good field glasses to find his men when there is shrapnel about.
Q.M.S. requires a man who can even partly satisfy mess orderlies.
EXCHANGE.—Corporal would exchange a wristlet watch (not going) for a spring mattress or a tin of MacConochie’s Rations.
WANTED.—Some nice girls to stroll with on the Engineers’ North Pier.
WANTED.—Fifty thousand Turkish prisoners for wharf-lumping, road-making, and building officers’ dug-outs. Plenty of permanent work for men of right stamp. Apply any beach fatigue party—Australian N. Z. Army Corps.
FULL private wishes to buy guide book to London. Places safe from Zeppelin to be marked with a cross.
TO LET.—Nice dug-out on the skyline. Owner leaving for field hospital.
MISCELLANEOUS
MAN with good memory would like the job of taking messages from the troops to friends in Cairo.
WANTED TO BUY.—The 2nd Brigade will buy large or small quantities of old beer. Fresh beer not objected to.
READ Prof. Fire Trench’s book on the killing of insect pests with a shovel.
BUSINESS FOR SALE.—Mess orderly will sell goodwill of a flourishing business for a box of fags.
COMPLETE SPY OUTFIT FOR SALE.—Including pair of blucher boots, sombrero hat, two cutlasses and a yashmak. Owner having failed to be discovered for two days is going out of business.
Sergt. Noonan, 6th Battn.