THE CAVEMAN
Iwas dreaming in the trenches when thoughts and visions dimTook shape—there squatted close to me, with mien and visage grim,A dark and hairy caveman, huge of form and bare of limb;And he eyed me very strangely—and I thought I said to him:“Oh! prehistoric caveman, did you own some rock-bound lairWhere, secure from interruption, you consumed your scanty fare?Did you sally forth for hunting—or to seek some maiden fair?Did you club her on the cranium and drag her by the hair?“She’d be mostly good when captured, cooked your grub and had her share.You were happy, Mr. Caveman, tho’ your brawny limbswerebare.You were cold and hungry sometimes, but upon this point I’ll swearYou were better off than we are—you’d no uniform to tear.“Poor benighted Mr. Caveman, if you’d onlyonlyknownOf our glorious progression—all your arrowheads of boneWould have been replaced by rifles, and for little slings of stoneYou’d have had a 4.7 gun—what joys youmighthave known!“Things have changed, poor Mr. Caveman, since you went your simple way,But we’re living still in caves, sir, dug most carefully in clay.We call them trenches, dug-outs, saps; but, call them what we may,They are made to hide our skins in, just as in your heathen day.“Two thousand years ago came One—taught ‘Peace on earth, goodwill’;Unceasingly we’ve preached it since, and that ‘Thou shalt not kill.’And all these toilsome, changeful years we’ve retrograded tillWe arewithyou, Mr. Caveman, for we’re simple cavemen still.”I thought I was quite eloquent; my brain began to burn,When a hand stretched out and shook me—’twas a hand I could not spurn.I yawned and tried to dodge that grasp, but I awoke to learn’Twas the N.C.O. on duty, saying: “Come, my lad, your turn!”J. M. Collins, 9th Battalion.
Iwas dreaming in the trenches when thoughts and visions dimTook shape—there squatted close to me, with mien and visage grim,A dark and hairy caveman, huge of form and bare of limb;And he eyed me very strangely—and I thought I said to him:“Oh! prehistoric caveman, did you own some rock-bound lairWhere, secure from interruption, you consumed your scanty fare?Did you sally forth for hunting—or to seek some maiden fair?Did you club her on the cranium and drag her by the hair?“She’d be mostly good when captured, cooked your grub and had her share.You were happy, Mr. Caveman, tho’ your brawny limbswerebare.You were cold and hungry sometimes, but upon this point I’ll swearYou were better off than we are—you’d no uniform to tear.“Poor benighted Mr. Caveman, if you’d onlyonlyknownOf our glorious progression—all your arrowheads of boneWould have been replaced by rifles, and for little slings of stoneYou’d have had a 4.7 gun—what joys youmighthave known!“Things have changed, poor Mr. Caveman, since you went your simple way,But we’re living still in caves, sir, dug most carefully in clay.We call them trenches, dug-outs, saps; but, call them what we may,They are made to hide our skins in, just as in your heathen day.“Two thousand years ago came One—taught ‘Peace on earth, goodwill’;Unceasingly we’ve preached it since, and that ‘Thou shalt not kill.’And all these toilsome, changeful years we’ve retrograded tillWe arewithyou, Mr. Caveman, for we’re simple cavemen still.”I thought I was quite eloquent; my brain began to burn,When a hand stretched out and shook me—’twas a hand I could not spurn.I yawned and tried to dodge that grasp, but I awoke to learn’Twas the N.C.O. on duty, saying: “Come, my lad, your turn!”J. M. Collins, 9th Battalion.
Iwas dreaming in the trenches when thoughts and visions dimTook shape—there squatted close to me, with mien and visage grim,A dark and hairy caveman, huge of form and bare of limb;And he eyed me very strangely—and I thought I said to him:
Iwas dreaming in the trenches when thoughts and visions dim
Took shape—there squatted close to me, with mien and visage grim,
A dark and hairy caveman, huge of form and bare of limb;
And he eyed me very strangely—and I thought I said to him:
“Oh! prehistoric caveman, did you own some rock-bound lairWhere, secure from interruption, you consumed your scanty fare?Did you sally forth for hunting—or to seek some maiden fair?Did you club her on the cranium and drag her by the hair?
“Oh! prehistoric caveman, did you own some rock-bound lair
Where, secure from interruption, you consumed your scanty fare?
Did you sally forth for hunting—or to seek some maiden fair?
Did you club her on the cranium and drag her by the hair?
“She’d be mostly good when captured, cooked your grub and had her share.You were happy, Mr. Caveman, tho’ your brawny limbswerebare.You were cold and hungry sometimes, but upon this point I’ll swearYou were better off than we are—you’d no uniform to tear.
“She’d be mostly good when captured, cooked your grub and had her share.
You were happy, Mr. Caveman, tho’ your brawny limbswerebare.
You were cold and hungry sometimes, but upon this point I’ll swear
You were better off than we are—you’d no uniform to tear.
“Poor benighted Mr. Caveman, if you’d onlyonlyknownOf our glorious progression—all your arrowheads of boneWould have been replaced by rifles, and for little slings of stoneYou’d have had a 4.7 gun—what joys youmighthave known!
“Poor benighted Mr. Caveman, if you’d onlyonlyknown
Of our glorious progression—all your arrowheads of bone
Would have been replaced by rifles, and for little slings of stone
You’d have had a 4.7 gun—what joys youmighthave known!
“Things have changed, poor Mr. Caveman, since you went your simple way,But we’re living still in caves, sir, dug most carefully in clay.We call them trenches, dug-outs, saps; but, call them what we may,They are made to hide our skins in, just as in your heathen day.
“Things have changed, poor Mr. Caveman, since you went your simple way,
But we’re living still in caves, sir, dug most carefully in clay.
We call them trenches, dug-outs, saps; but, call them what we may,
They are made to hide our skins in, just as in your heathen day.
“Two thousand years ago came One—taught ‘Peace on earth, goodwill’;Unceasingly we’ve preached it since, and that ‘Thou shalt not kill.’And all these toilsome, changeful years we’ve retrograded tillWe arewithyou, Mr. Caveman, for we’re simple cavemen still.”
“Two thousand years ago came One—taught ‘Peace on earth, goodwill’;
Unceasingly we’ve preached it since, and that ‘Thou shalt not kill.’
And all these toilsome, changeful years we’ve retrograded till
We arewithyou, Mr. Caveman, for we’re simple cavemen still.”
I thought I was quite eloquent; my brain began to burn,When a hand stretched out and shook me—’twas a hand I could not spurn.I yawned and tried to dodge that grasp, but I awoke to learn’Twas the N.C.O. on duty, saying: “Come, my lad, your turn!”
I thought I was quite eloquent; my brain began to burn,
When a hand stretched out and shook me—’twas a hand I could not spurn.
I yawned and tried to dodge that grasp, but I awoke to learn
’Twas the N.C.O. on duty, saying: “Come, my lad, your turn!”
J. M. Collins, 9th Battalion.
J. M. Collins, 9th Battalion.
G. T. M. R.
G. T. M. R.
G. T. M. R.