Enter some passengers, running and hailing car. Bell rings, by knocking goblet with spoon. Car stops.
Passengers rush towards car. Gentleman is in the act of stepping on car when bell rings, and car suddenly starts off, throwing gentleman violently to the ground. Great screaming and wailing; friends gather round and try to raise him; find he is insensible; all immediately begin shaking theirfists at conductor; then simultaneously they bethink themselves of the propriety of taking the number of the car. All draw out their memorandum-books and commence writing. Conductor and driver make gestures of defiance.
Grand tableau.
Dramatis Personæ,Husband and Wife.
Enter lady poutingly, followed by her husband, who tries to coax her into a good humor, but without avail. She persists in being in apet. Husband
by his gestures promises to buy her shawls,
dresses,
a piano,
and even
a riding-horse.[A]
Finding all these promises are of no use, he begins to get excited; declares she shall have nothing; lady remains sulky; gentleman seizes his hat, rams it on his head, and exits. Lady walks off in the opposite direction, clenching her fists.
[A]To convey this idea, the gentleman must neigh while he prances.
[A]To convey this idea, the gentleman must neigh while he prances.
Dramatis Personæ,Irishman. Colored Man. Servant Girl.Scene—Street-door of fashionable house—door-plate of white paper on door bearing the name of Swab.
Enter colored man,[A]with his face well spotted with whitewash, who rings at door of fashionable house.
Irish servant appears with her sleeves rolled up and her dress pinned in the form of a dress-coat behind. She turns up her nose at darkey, who humbly intimates that he has called for thecarpet. Girl slams the door in his face. Colored man considers this outrageous conduct, as he has been specially requested to call for orders, and produces the following note from Mr. Swab:
"Mr. Cuffy:"Please call at No. 13 Fifth Avenue, for carpet."John Swab."
"Mr. Cuffy:
"Please call at No. 13 Fifth Avenue, for carpet.
"John Swab."
He points to note and name on door to show he has come to the right house.
Enter Irishman, who approaches Mr. Swab's door and rings bell; reappear girl, who smiles as she produces a roll of carpet. Cuffy steps forward and expostulates, showing Mr. Swab's letter. Irishman pitches into Cuffy, and a furious fight ensues, in which the girl joins with a broom.
[A]The usual way of making a colored man is by blacking the face with burnt cork; but as gentlemen at evening parties sometimes object to undergoing this ordeal, a good nigger may be manufactured by stretching a piece of dark silk across the face and cutting out holes for the eyes and mouth. Hair can be made of cotton wadding.
[A]The usual way of making a colored man is by blacking the face with burnt cork; but as gentlemen at evening parties sometimes object to undergoing this ordeal, a good nigger may be manufactured by stretching a piece of dark silk across the face and cutting out holes for the eyes and mouth. Hair can be made of cotton wadding.
Dramatis Personæ,Cat. Dog. Old Gentleman.Scene—Backyard of city house, with small table placed on top of other table, to represent window.
Enter cat (head done up in brown paper, with cat's face painted on it, brown paper ears, tail made out of lady's boa, black silk handkerchief, or any suitable thing).
Cat commences tomeowand caterwaul. Old gentleman appears at window with nightcap on and sheet wrapped round him, and shakes his fist at cat. Cat continues to make a noise.
Old gentleman gets very angry, shakes both his fists, withdraws into room, reappears with hair-brush, which he throws at cat. Cat continues to make a noise. Old gentleman commences a fusilade of boots, books, combs, and toilet articles generally. Cat makes more noise than ever, putting up her back and spitting at the objects as they fell around her. The old gentleman is almost in despair, when suddenly a bright idea strikes him,which he expresses by pantomime, placing his finger to the side of his nose and winking. He disappears from the window. Presently is heard the rattling of a chain and barking of a dog.
Enter dog, barking furiously, and pursues cat out of yard. Old gentleman rubs his hands with glee, and pats dog on head. Dog frisks about.
Dramatis Personæ,Ass. Rag and Soap-fat Man. Servant Girl.Scene—Public Street.
Enter rag and soap-fat man dragging donkey after him. Donkey dragging cart made of chairwith bandbox-lid wheels, cart filled with odds and ends of tinware, old rags, etc. Donkey very obstinate; driver beats him with roll of stiff paper. Servant hails soap-fat man and offers for sale several large jarsful of drippings, sheets, pillow-cases, etc., belonging to her mistress. They chaffer for some time over the bargain, but finally agree upon a price. The money (all copper pennies) is about to change hands when the donkey, close by, gives an unearthly bray, which, to their guilty consciences, sounds like the voice of some avenging spirit; both scream, drop the money on the floor, and rush off; donkey turns round and runs off too.
Dramatis Personæ,Soldiers.Scene—A camp, tents made of sheets hung over chairs, etc.
Enter soldiers, leading prisoners, and bearing ragged and shot-torn flag on broomstick, band playing trumpets (sheets of music rolled up), and beating drums (tin pails); they halt and form in line; the officer, by suitable gestures, calls attention to the trophy.
Enter general and staff. General makes a speech, pointing to the trophy, and then decorates their captain by pinning a medal (a circular soda-cracker fastened to a bit of red ribbon will do) on his breast. All strike an attitude, and the scene closes.
Dramatis Personæ,Gentlemen. Ladies. Horses and Policemen.Scene—Central Park.
A superb carriage, made out of the lounge with bandbox-lid wheels, and drawn by a span of spirited bay gentleman, is discovered; an elegant youth is seated on the box driving, whilst the carriage is filled with a gay and festive party of youthful ladies and gentlemen.
Presently the horses become restive, plunge wildly about, and, in spite of all the efforts of the driver, dash the vehicle against a post; the inmatesscream and tumble out. Enter two policemen, who seize the horses, put the driver on his legs, and carry the rest of the party to the hospital on stretchers made of the clothes-horse.
Those tranquil moods to which allusion has already been made on several occasions, have now become a decided feature in our character. There is certainly something very charming in the society of well-bred women. However, we hope before long we need not be forced from home to find that enjoyment. We have discovered the object of Nix's recent gifts of Brahminical works. It was a ponderous roundabout species of humor peculiar to Nix, the works in question being supposed to furnish appropriate study for a person in our presumed position as admirer of Bud (or Boodh).
Nix has for some time past made himself very wearisome with continual allusions to Vishnu, Siva, Buddhism, and so forth. We gained one idea, however, from his jest. We have written a Hindoo play, the plot of which turns on the love ofa devout Brahmin. The play is entirely finished save the last act, which is complete up to the point where Neer Je Haun declares his love for the Unblown Rose.
We took our play to the Adams' to-night, and told Bud that it was nearly completed, but we were in some embarrassment how to conclude it. We had consequently come to consult her on the subject, begging at the same time she would give it her most careful attention, as her decision was of vital importance. We were alone. We had read the whole play through with the utmost care, till we came to the final sentence in our manuscript, where the hero declares his passion for the Unblown Rose. It runs thus:
Neer Je Haun."Light of my soul, whose voice is sweeter than the murmur of the Ganges, whose name is incense to my nostrils, whose eyes are brighter than the fire-flies by night—my highest ambition is to be thy slave, my greatest hope to guard thee from harm, to bask in the radiance of thine eyes. For thee I would sacrifice all other earthly happiness. When I pray thee to share my humble fortunes, turn not away thy proud head;parch not my soul with scorn, though well I should deserve such a fate for my temerity."
Now turning to Bud, we asked her to decide what answer the lover should receive; should he be accepted or rejected?
"Oh, accepted, of course!" eagerly exclaimed Bud, her bright eyes kindling with sympathy for the ardent Hindoo.
"It is well!" we replied, and wrote down the maiden's answer.
"I will trust my life in thy hands from this day till death."
"Is that right?" we asked.
She said it was, though perhaps a little cold.
We then drew from our breast pocket one sheet of the manuscript she had not yet seen. It was the title of the play:
Bud colored—looked at us in an embarrassed way, and then with much hesitation was about to speak, when we stretched out our hand and said:
"You will not make us alter what we have written?"
She gave no answer, but from the pressure of her hand we knew we need doubt no more.
Now this heathen idolator would not change places with the greatest Christian monarch in Europe.
A Catalogue of BOOKSISSUED BY Carleton, Publisher,New York.1866.
"There is a kind of physiognomy in thetitlesofbooks no less than in the faces of men,by which a skilful observer willknow as well what to expectfrom the one as theother."—Butler.
N.B.—The Publisher, upon receipt of the price in advance, will send any of the following Books by mail,Postage Free, to any part of the United States. This convenient and very safe mode may be adopted when the neighboring Booksellers are not supplied with the desired work. State name and address in full.
Victor Hugo.LES MISÉRABLES.—The best edition, two elegant 8vo. vols., beautifully bound in cloth, $5.50;half calf, $10.00LES MISÉRABLES.—The popular edition, one large octavo volume, paper covers, $2.00;cloth bound, $2.50LES MISÉRABLES.—In the Spanish language. Fine 8vo. edition, two vols., paper covers, $4.00;cloth bound, $5.00JARGAL.—A new novel. Illustrated.12mo. cloth, $1.75THE LIFE OF VICTOR HUGO.—By himself.8vo. cloth, $1.75Miss Muloch.JOHN HALIFAX.—A novel. With illustration.12mo. cloth, $1.75A LIFE FOR A LIFE.— do.do. $1.75Charlotte Bronte (Currer Bell).JANE EYRE.— A novel. With illustration.12mo. cloth, $1.75THE PROFESSOR.—do. do.do. $1.75SHIRLEY.— do. do.do. $1.75VILLETTE.— do. do.do. $1.75Hand-Books of Society.THE HABITS OF GOOD SOCIETY; with thoughts, hints, and anecdotes, concerning nice points of taste, good manners, and the art of making oneself agreeable. The most entertaining work of the kind ever published.12mo. cloth, $1.75THE ART OF CONVERSATION.—With directions for self-culture. A sensible and instructive work, that ought to be in the hands of every one who wishes to be either an agreeable talker or listener.12mo. cloth, $1.50THE ART OF AMUSING.—A collection of graceful arts, games, tricks, puzzles, and charades, intended to amuse everybody, and enable all to amuse everybody else. With suggestions for private theatricals, tableaux, parlor and family amusements, etc. With nearly 150 illustrative pictures.12mo. cloth, $2.00Mrs. Mary J. Holmes' Works.'LENA RIVERS.— A novel.12mo. cloth, $1.50DARKNESS AND DAYLIGHT.— do.do. $1.50TEMPEST AND SUNSHINE.— do.do. $1.50MARIAN GREY.— do.do. $1.50MEADOW BROOK.— do.do. $1.50ENGLISH ORPHANS.— do.do. $1.50DORA DEANE.— do.do. $1.50COUSIN MAUDE.— do.do. $1.50HOMESTEAD ON THE HILLSIDE.—do.do. $1.50HUGH WORTHINGTON.— do.do. $1.50Artemus Ward.HIS BOOK.—The first collection of humorous writings by A. Ward. Full of comic illustrations.12mo. cloth, $1.50HIS TRAVELS.—A comic volume of Indian and Mormon adventures. With laughable illustrations.12mo. cloth, $1.50Miss Augusta J. Evans.BEULAH.—A novel of great power12mo. cloth, $1.75MACARIA.— do. do.do. $1.75ST. ELMO.— do. do.Just published.do. $1.75By the Author of "Rutledge."RUTLEDGE.—A deeply interesting novel.12mo. cloth, $1.75THE SUTHERLANDS.— do.do. $1.75FRANK WARRINGTON.— do.do. $1.75ST. PHILIP'S.— do.do. $1.75LOUIE'S LAST TERM AT ST. MARY'S.do. $1.75ROUNDHEARTS AND OTHER STORIES.—Just publisheddo. $1.75Josh Billings.HIS BOOK.—All the rich comic sayings of this celebrated humorist. With comic illustrations.12mo. cloth, $1.50Mrs. Ritchie (Anna Cora Mowatt).FAIRY FINGERS.—A capital new novel.12mo. cloth, $1.75THE MUTE SINGER.— do.do. $1.75A NEW BOOK.—In press.do. $1.75New English Novels.BEYMINSTRE.—A very interesting novel.12mo. cloth, $1.75RECOMMENDED TO MERCY.—do.do. $1.75TAKEN UPON TRUST.— do.do. $1.75Geo. W. Carleton.OUR ARTIST IN CUBA.—A humorous volume of travels; with fifty comic illustrations by the author.12mo. cloth, $1.50OUR ARTIST IN PERU.—In press.$1.50A. S. Roe's Works.A LONG LOOK AHEAD.— A novel12mo. cloth, $1.50TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED.—do.do. $1.50TIME AND TIDE.— do.do. $1.50I'VE BEEN THINKING.— do.do. $1.50THE STAR AND THE CLOUD.—do.do. $1.50TRUE TO THE LAST.— do.do. $1.50HOW COULD HE HELP IT?— do.do. $1.50LIKE AND UNLIKE.— do.do. $1.50LOOKING AROUND.— do.do. $1.50WOMAN, OUR ANGEL.—Just published.do. $1.50Richard B. Kimball.WAS HE SUCCESSFUL.— A novel12mo. cloth, $1.75UNDERCURRENTS.— do.do. $1.75SAINT LEGER.— do.do. $1.75ROMANCE OF STUDENT LIFE.—do.do. $1.75IN THE TROPICS.— do.do. $1.75THE PRINCE OF KASHNA.— do.do. $1.75EMILIE.—A sequel to "St. Leger."In press.do. $1.75Orpheus C. Kerr.THE ORPHEUS C. KERR PAPERS.—Comic letters and humorous military criticisms. Three series12mo. cloth, $1.50Edmund Kirke.AMONG THE PINES.—A Southern sketch.12mo. cloth, $1.50MY SOUTHERN FRIENDS.— do.do. $1.50DOWN IN TENNESSEE.— do.do. $1.50ADRIFT IN DIXIE.— do.do. $1.50AMONG THE GUERILLAS.— do.do. $1.50A NEW BOOK.—In press.do.do. $1.50T. S. Arthur's New Works.LIGHT ON SHADOWED PATHS.—A novel.12mo. cloth, $1.50OUT IN THE WORLD.— do.do. $1.50NOTHING BUT MONEY.— do.do. $1.50WHAT CAME AFTERWARDS.— do.do. $1.50OUR NEIGHBORS.—Just published.do. $1.50Robinson Crusoe.A handsome illustrated edition, complete.12mo. cloth, $1.50Joseph Rodman Drake.THE CULPRIT FAY.—A faery poem.12mo. cloth, $1.25AN ILLUSTRATED EDITION.—With 100 exquisite illustrations on wood. Quarto, beautifully printed and bound,$5.00Epidemic Cholera.A handy-book for successful treatment12mo. cloth, $1.00Cuthbert Bede.VERDANT GREEN.—A rollicking, humorous novel of English student life; with 200 comic illustrations.12mo. cloth, $1.50Private Miles O'Reilly.BAKED MEATS OF THE FUNERAL.—A Comic book.12mo. cloth, $1.75LIFE AND ADVENTURES—with comic illustrations.do. $1.50M. Michelet's Remarkable Works.LOVE (L'AMOUR).—From the French.12mo. cloth, $1.50WOMAN (LA FEMME).— do.do. $1.50J. Sheridan Le Fanu.WYLDER'S HAND.—A powerful new novel.12mo. cloth, $1.75THE HOUSE BY THE CHURCHYARD.—do.do. $1.75Rev. John Cumming, D.D., of London.THE GREAT TRIBULATION.—Two series.12mo. cloth, $1.50THE GREAT PREPARATION.— do.do. $1.50THE GREAT CONSUMMATION.—do.do. $1.50Ernest Renan.THE LIFE OF JESUS.—From the French work.12mo. cloth, $1.75THE APOSTLES.— do.do. $1.75RELIGIOUS HISTORY AND CRITICISM.—8vo. cloth, $2.50Popular Italian Novels.DOCTOR ANTONIO.—A love story. By Ruffini.12mo. cloth, $1.75VINCENZO.— do. do.do. $1.75BEATRICE CENCI.—By Guerrazzi, with portrait.do. $1.75Charles Reade.THE CLOISTER AND THE HEARTH.—A magnificent new novel—the best this author ever wrote.8vo. cloth, $2.00The Opera.TALES FROM THE OPERAS.—A collection of clever stories, based upon the plots of all the famous operas.12mo. cloth, $1.50Robert B. Roosevelt.THE GAME-FISH OF THE NORTH.—Illustrated.12mo. cloth, $2.00SUPERIOR FISHING.— do.do. $2.00THE GAME-BIRDS OF THE NORTH.—do. $2.00John Phœnix.THE SQUIBOB PAPERS.—A new humorous volume, filled with comic illustrations by the author.12mo. cloth, $1.50Matthew Hale Smith.MOUNT CALVARY.—Meditations in sacred places.12mo. $2.00P. T. Barnum.THE HUMBUGS OF THE WORLD.—Two series.12mo. cloth, $1.75Dr. J. J. Craven.THE PRISON-LIFE OF JEFFERSON DAVIS.—Incidents and conversations connected with his captivity.12mo. cloth, $2.00Captain Raphael Semmes.THE CRUISE OF THE ALABAMA AND SUMTER.—12mo. cloth, $2.00Pulpit Pungencies.A new serio-comic religious book.—Very rich.12mo. cl., $1.75The Abbe Guettee.THE PAPACY.—Its origin and schism with the Greeks. Introduction by A. Cleveland Coxe, D. D.12mo. cloth, $1.75Mansefield T. Walworth.STORMCLIFF.—A new American novel.12mo. cloth, $1.75Amelia B. Edwards.BALLADS.—By author of "Barbara's History."12mo. cloth, $1.50Mrs. Jervey (Caroline H. Glover).HELEN COURTENAY'S PROMISE.—A new novel.12mo. cloth, $1.75Walter Barrett, Clerk.THE OLD MERCHANTS OF NEW YORK.—Personal incidents, sketches, bits of biography, and events in the life of leading merchants in New York. Four series.12mo. cloth, $1.75Madame Octavia Walton Le Vert.SOUVENIRS OF TRAVEL.New edition. Large12mo. cloth, $2.00Kate Marstone.A new and very interesting tale.12mo. cloth, $1.50By "Sentinel."WHO GOES THERE?—Or men and events.12mo. cloth, $1.50Junius Brutus Booth.MEMORIALS OF "THE ELDER BOOTH."—The actor.12mo. cloth, $1.50H. T. Sperry.COUNTRY LOVEvs.CITY FLIRTATION.—A capital new society tale, with twenty superb illustrations by Hoppin.12mo. cloth, $2.00Epes Sargent.PECULIAR.—A remarkable new novel.12mo. cloth, $1.75Cuyler Pine.MARY BRANDEGEE.—A very powerful novel12mo. cloth, $1.75A NEW NOVEL.—In press.do. $1.75Elisha Kent Kane.LOVE-LIFE OF DR. KANEand Margaret Fox.12mo. cloth, $1.75Mother Goose for Grown Folks.HUMOROUS RHYMESfor grown people.12mo. cloth, $1.25Miscellaneous Works.NOTES ON SHAKSPEARE.—By Jas. H. Hackett.12mo. cloth, $1.50THE MONTANAS.—A novel by Mrs. S. J. Hancock.do. $1.75PASTIMES WITH LITTLE FRIENDS.—Martha H. Butt.do. $1.50A SPINSTER'S STORY.—A new novel.do. $1.75A LIFE OF JAMES STEPHENS.—Fenian Head-Centre.do. $1.00FREE GOVERNMENT IN ENGLAND AND AMERICA.—do. $3.00AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A NEW ENGLAND FARM-HOUSE.—do. $1.75NEPENTHE.—A new novel.do. $1.50TOGETHER.— do.do. $1.50LOVERS AND THINKERS.—do.do. $1.50POEMS.—By Gay H. Naramore.do. $1.50GOMERY OF MONTGOMERY.—By C. A. Washburn.do. $2.00VICTOIRE.—A new novel.do. $1.75POEMS.—By Mrs. Sarah T. Bolton.do. $1.50SUPPRESSED BOOK ABOUT SLAVERY.—do. $2.00JOHN GUILDERSTRING'S SIN.—A novel.do. $1.50CENTEOLA.—By author "Green Mountain Boys."do. $1.50RED TAPE AND PIGEON-HOLE GENERALS.—do. $1.50TREATISE ON DEAFNESS.—By Dr. E. B. Lighthill.do. $1.50AROUND THE PYRAMIDS.—By Gen. Aaron Ward.do. $1.50CHINA AND THE CHINESE.—By W. L. G. Smith.do. $1.50THE YACHTMAN'S PRIMER.—By T. R. Warren.do. 50 cts.EDGAR POE AND HIS CRITICS.—By Mrs. Whitman.do. $1.00MARRIED OFF.—Illustrated Satirical Poem.do. 50 cts.THE FLYING DUTCHMAN.—J. G. Saxe, illustrated.do. 75 cts.ALEXANDER VON HUMBOLDT.—Life and Travels.do. $1.50LIFE OF HUGH MILLER.—The celebrated geologist.do. $1.50THE RUSSIAN BALL.—Illustrated satirical poem.do. 50 cts.THE SNOBLACE BALL.do. do. do.do. 50 cts.AN ANSWER TO HUGH MILLER.—By T. A. Davies.do. $1.50COSMOGONY.—By Thomas A. Davies.8vo. cloth, $2.00TWENTY YEARSaround the world. J. Guy Vassar.do. $3.75RURAL ARCHITECTURE.—By M. Field, illustrated.do. $2.00