* * * * "The blue skyLeaned silently above, and all its highAnd azure-circled roof beneath the wave,Was imaged back and seemed the deep to paveWith its transparent beauty."
* * * * "The blue skyLeaned silently above, and all its highAnd azure-circled roof beneath the wave,Was imaged back and seemed the deep to paveWith its transparent beauty."
* * * * "The blue skyLeaned silently above, and all its highAnd azure-circled roof beneath the wave,Was imaged back and seemed the deep to paveWith its transparent beauty."
* * * * "The blue sky
Leaned silently above, and all its high
And azure-circled roof beneath the wave,
Was imaged back and seemed the deep to pave
With its transparent beauty."
He.—Oh! they're not thinking of the sea nor of the sky. Although when I saw one of the ladies gazing intently at the moon, I thought that she, like you and me, had succumbed to the influence of its magic beams; but I very soonbecame disillusioned, for I heard her suddenly exclaim, "Oh, I wish I had some Welsh rarebit! I am so very fond of Welsh rarebit."
She.—Her thoughts were evidently relevant, as the moon probably suggested to her, green cheese, and from that, it was only a step to the toasted article. I dislike to hear a person express a fondness for food. I know that it is correct to use "fond" in this way; but to me "fondness" should be used only with reference to one's friends; but to be fond of "Welsh rarebit"! I should prefer to use another expression.
He.—Of course you aren't fond of anything but flowers, and books, and music,—Oh! and the moon.
She.—And people; they come first.
He.—Everybody?
She.—Not everybody, only a few.
He.—Including——
She.—I think that we should go back to our friends.
He.—And discuss "Welsh rarebit"? Let us take this boat and glide over the "silvery lake." We can find more interesting subjects to talk about than edibles; and, if we cannot, we can at least be silent and let the glorious night speak for us.
She.—Because of just such nights, I come here every year.
He.—But the moon, like the sun, shines everywhere for all.
She.—Yes, but not everywhere alike. There must be trees with branches outspread to catch its silvery beams, and giant hills in the distance to form a heavy background. The full moon shining on our great Lake Michigan is a glorious sight, but that which is needed to make the scene perfect is not there. But here—nothing is wanting.
O beauteous Lake!How radiantly dost thou wear thy jewelsUpon thy bosom fair,—made fairer stillBy Luna's silvery beams.
O beauteous Lake!How radiantly dost thou wear thy jewelsUpon thy bosom fair,—made fairer stillBy Luna's silvery beams.
O beauteous Lake!How radiantly dost thou wear thy jewelsUpon thy bosom fair,—made fairer stillBy Luna's silvery beams.
O beauteous Lake!
How radiantly dost thou wear thy jewels
Upon thy bosom fair,—made fairer still
By Luna's silvery beams.
Luna's silvery beams
How radiantly dost thou wear thy jewelsUpon thy bosom fair,—made fairer stillBy Luna's silvery beams.
How radiantly dost thou wear thy jewelsUpon thy bosom fair,—made fairer stillBy Luna's silvery beams.
How radiantly dost thou wear thy jewelsUpon thy bosom fair,—made fairer stillBy Luna's silvery beams.
How radiantly dost thou wear thy jewels
Upon thy bosom fair,—made fairer still
By Luna's silvery beams.
He.—The poet is nature's interpreter. He expresses what we feel; what we should wish to say, were we able to express our thoughts in poetic language. But sometimes he does not interpret truly. Wasn't it Browning who said:
"Never the time and the placeAnd the loved one altogether"?
"Never the time and the placeAnd the loved one altogether"?
"Never the time and the placeAnd the loved one altogether"?
"Never the time and the place
And the loved one altogether"?
She.—I don't see the relevancy of thequotation. We must go back to the hotel. Our friends will miss us.
He.—But you haven't heard my lesson yet, as we used to say in school. I have to recite all the golden rules, and add our new one. What shall it be?
She.—Rule Number IX.:One's speech should be in harmony with one's surroundings.
He.—In other words, a person should not talk about cheese when the moon would be a more fitting topic.
She.—Or, when it might be more fitting to remain silent.
He.—Some one has said, "Silence is the virtue of the feeble," but it is probably as often the virtue of the wise.
She.—It was Carlyle who said: "Consider the significance of SILENCE: it is boundless, never by meditating to be exhausted, unspeakably profitable to thee: Cease that chaotic hubbub, wherein thy own soul runs to waste, to confused suicidal dislocation and stupor; out of Silence comes thy strength. 'Speech is silvern, Silence is golden; Speech is human, Silence is divine.'"
Do not exaggerate.
He.—You may remember that one of the extracts that I read to you from my note-book referred to exaggeration in conversation. Do you know, I have been paying attention to this fault, and I find that it is decidedly general even with people who are supposed to be honest and sincere. It is really one phase of falsifying; in my opinion, it is a very disagreeable habit, and one that a person should try to rid himself of.
She.—Parents can not be too careful in the bringing up of their children to see that they do not form the habit of exaggerating what they undertake to tell. Why! Some persons can not make the simplest statement without exaggerating the facts. For instance, if one undertakes to give the price of a garment or of some furniture, the amount paid is always increased in the telling of the story; and so with the narration of trivial events—the speaker will enlarge his statements until he presents adistorted picture to the mental vision of the listener.
The exaggeration of facts should certainly be avoided; and a person can overcome this tendency in himself, if, when he finds that he is making a misstatement, he will correct himself, and give a true version. For example, if he finds that he is fixing the cost of a possession at five dollars, when it should be four dollars and fifty cents, he can correct the error without even betraying his intention to falsify. By doing this, he gradually trains himself to adhere to facts; for, while the price of the article may be a matter of small consequence, it is a matter of far more importance that the person who has the habit shall correct his tendency to misstate facts. So again, when one is narrating an incident in one's experience, the same strict adherence to the facts should be observed. In this way a person establishes a reputation for veracity. We all have friends in whose statements we place no reliance, simply because we know that they invariably exaggerate every fact that comes within their observation or experience. I know of no fault in conversation that is more grievous than this nor that can give one such a general air of insincerity in all things.
He.—I know, I have friends whom I can not believe—no matter how serious they are in impressing upon me, the truth of the information that they are so willing to impart.
She.—Of course, when persons of this kind attack the reputation of others then, indeed, does their fault become a serious one; but there are many, otherwise well-meaning, persons who would not speak ill of another, who place themselves continually at a disadvantage by their exaggerated speech. There is the school-girl, for example, who finds every person and thingperfectly lovely—orperfectly horrid, as the case may be; who had themost beautifultime in her life last night; who finds her teacherdivine; tennis, adream of delight—everything, no matter what, isjust dandy—ordear. Later in life, she may exaggerate as to her husband's income; her children's virtues or appearance; the price of her garments—and in this way she will acquire the unenviable reputation for insincerity, unreliability. No one will give any credence to what she says, simply because she is known always to exaggerate the facts.
He.—I feel as you do, and when I find myself enlarging upon the facts, I try immediately to correct my fault and adhere to an actual recital.
She.—Of course, we know that in telling a story for the sake of its humor, a person will sometimes lapse into an enlargement of the details, but, as Rudyard Kipling would say, "That is another story."
He.—Had we not better make this Golden Rule Number X.?
I wonder whether I can recite all the Golden Rules:
Golden Rule Number 1.—Avoid unnecessary details.2.—Do not ask question number two until number one has been answered, nor be too curious nor too disinterested; that is, do not ask too many questions nor too few.3.—Do not interrupt another while he is speaking.4.—Do not contradict another, especially when the subject under discussion is of trivial importance.5.—Do not do all the talking; give your tired listener a chance.6.—Be not continually the hero of your own story; and, on the other hand, do not leave your story without a hero.7.—Choose subjects of mutual interest.8.—Be a good listener.9.—Make your speech in harmony with your surroundings.10.—Do not exaggerate—our new rule.
Golden Rule Number 1.—Avoid unnecessary details.
2.—Do not ask question number two until number one has been answered, nor be too curious nor too disinterested; that is, do not ask too many questions nor too few.
3.—Do not interrupt another while he is speaking.
4.—Do not contradict another, especially when the subject under discussion is of trivial importance.
5.—Do not do all the talking; give your tired listener a chance.
6.—Be not continually the hero of your own story; and, on the other hand, do not leave your story without a hero.
7.—Choose subjects of mutual interest.
8.—Be a good listener.
9.—Make your speech in harmony with your surroundings.
10.—Do not exaggerate—our new rule.
Indulge occasionally in a relevant quotation, but do not garble it.
He.—I have just been reading a very interesting article entitled "Learning by Heart," and I have become impressed with the idea that one should occasionally commit to memory inspiring passages in verse and prose. In the language of the author: "They may come to us in our dull moments, to refresh us as with spring flowers; in our selfish musings, to win us by pure delight from the tyranny of foolish castle-building, self-congratulations, and mean anxieties. They may be with us in the workshop, in the crowded streets, by the fireside; sometimes on pleasant hill-sides, or by sounding shores; noble friends and companions—our own! never intrusive, ever at hand, coming at our call."
She.—Some one has said that an apt quotation is as good as an original remark. It is certainly always relevant. We cannot all be Wordsworths or Tennysons; Charles Lambs or Carlyles, but we can make some of their bestthoughts our own. A conversation or a letter in which some choice quotation finds a place, is certainly thus improved and lifted above the commonplace. It was Johnson who said that classical quotation was the parole of literary men all over the world.
He.—For a long time, I have been copying in a note-book, extracts that have interested me, but it did not occur to me to commit them to memory. Hereafter, I shall do so, for I am sure that it will add to my resources both in conversation and in letter-writing.
She.—Some of the most delightful letters that I have ever received have been those in which there have been quotations, so relevant, so charming that, for the time being, they seemed to have been written for me alone.
He.—I have always hesitated to interpolate my conversation or letters with quotations, for fear that I might seem to be airing my familiarity with classical literature.
She.—Of course, one does not wish to appear pedantic; and one will not, if one will use the quotation for the occasion, instead of making an occasion for the quotation. The proportions, too, of a conversation or a letter must be preserved. If one is talking about a commonplacesubject, the quotation, if one is made, should be in keeping with the thought. As a clever writer has said, "A dull face invites a dull fate," and so with a commonplace subject; the treatment should be in accordance with it.
He.—Some persons are never able to quote a passage or tell an anecdote without perverting the meaning. In fact, I have long been interested in noticing how inexact the majority of people are in making statements of all kinds. I can recall several friends who are unreliable in what they say. Their statements should be "checked up"—verified, as we say in business.
She.—As some one has said: "A garbled quotation may be the most effectual perversion of an author's meaning; and a partial representation of an incident in a man's life may be the most malignant of all calumnies."
He.—How very relevant that quotation is. You have certainly just exemplified your own suggestion, namely, that the quotation should be used to suit the occasion.
Shall we make this Golden Rule Number XI.:Occasionally indulge in a relevant quotation, but do not garble it?
She.—Certainly; a Golden Rule that it is well occasionally to observe.
Cultivate tact.
He.—"Consider the significance ofSilence: it is boundless, never by meditating to be exhausted, unspeakably profitable to thee. Cease that chaotic hubbub, wherein thy own soul runs to waste to confused suicidal dislocation and stupor; out ofSilencecomes thy strength. Speech is silvern, silence is golden; speech is human, silence is divine."
She.—And what suggested the lines from Carlyle?
He.—Oh! I was thinking of one of the extracts in my list of quotations relevant to our subject, "The Art of Conversation." "It is when you come close to a man in conversation that you discover what his real abilities are." One might add,and what they are not.
She.—And I suppose that the line suggested the thought that, in many instances, to quote Carlyle again, "Speech is silvern, silence is golden; speech is human, silence is divine."
He.—Undoubtedly, in many instances, it would be better to preserve a discreet silence than to say that which is disagreeable or untruthful. Of course the tactful person can frequently so turn the conversation as to be obliged to adopt neither alternative.
She.—One should always be truthful, and one should never say that which would be displeasing to the listener,—of course, we must except those semi-disagreeable things which we sometimes feel privileged to say to our relatives or our best friends, on the ground that we are champions on the side of truth.
He.—I have always maintained that it is only a true friend who will tell the unpleasanthometruths.
She.—Yes; we can all remember occasions when our expressed resentment at some well-meant criticism offered by a member of the family, for example, was met by the rejoinder thatit was the truth.
He.—The "truth" is not always pleasing to the ear, and I agree with you that, except in the case of the privileged few, only the pleasing things should be told.
She.—That is all—provided, of course, that they are at the same time truthful.
He.—And if they are not?
She.—Then they should be left unsaid, for one's speech should never be insincere or flippant.
He.—To be told that one is not looking well, or is looking ill, or older, as the case may be, is certainly not conducive to pleasant feelings on the part of the listener.
She.—Frequently, the person who would not be guilty of offenses of this kind, will arrive at the same results in an indirect way. For example, A, who may be too polite to tell B that he is getting "along in years," will ask him whether the handsome young lady seen in his company at the theater the previous eveningis his daughter, thinking thus to compliment him as being the proud parent of so beautiful a maiden; whereas, A, who prides himself upon his youthful appearance, and thinks that he is "holding his own" against Father Time, fails to appreciate the "would-be" compliment. Mrs. C informs Mrs. D that she looks ten years younger since becomingso stout, while Mrs. E. advises Mrs. F. to buy a hat, as up-to-dateelderlywomen no longer wear bonnets; and so on through the alphabet.
He.—Oh! I suppose it is impossible forpeople who are so obtuse as these to go through the world without blundering at every step.
She.—I don't know. It seems to me that these unthinking people might be taught to think. Surely, we can all learn by observation and experience; and it would seem that persons fairly introspective might discover that it is not direct speech alone that wounds or offends. We all know that the prettiest compliments are often those which are implied; and, conversely, sometimes it is the suggestive criticism or censure that wounds the most.
He.—Then we must remember that we should keep our minds alert; that we must not be found napping; that it is not sufficient that we refrain from giving pointed home thrusts, but that we should never, even by indirect speech, leave with our listener an unpleasant memory.
She.—Yes; we meet some people,—often only for a moment,—only once, perhaps, in a lifetime; but it is possible, in many instances, to make that moment linger forever as a pleasant memory to that other. We can all remember some occasion when there was merely a handclasp, when but few words were spoken, but the memory is ours forever. Something that was said, perhaps, seemingly trivial, but glorifiedby the speaker's smile, by the sincerity of his heart.
He.—After all, to sum it up, it is the word T-A-C-T, or the lack of it, that makes a person correspondingly agreeable or disagreeable in his social intercourse with another. Someone has defined tact as the art of pleasing, and so I should think we might add this mandate to our golden rules—Cultivate the art of pleasing,—say the right thing or say nothing.
Now, I am going to recite all our golden rules, for I know them by heart:
Golden Rule Number 1.—Avoid unnecessary details.2.—Do not ask question number two until number one has been answered; nor be too curious and, too disinterested; that is do not ask too many questions nor too few.3.—Do not interrupt another while he is speaking.4.—Do not contradict another, especially when the subject under discussion is of trivial importance.5.—Do not do all the talking; give your tired listener a chance.6.—Be not continually the hero of your ownstory; nor, on the other hand, do not leave your story without a hero.7.—Choose subjects of mutual interest.8.—Be a good listener.9.—Make your speech in harmony with your surroundings.10.—Do not exaggerate.11.—Indulge occasionally in a relevant quotation, but do not garble it.12.—Cultivate tact—our new rule.
Golden Rule Number 1.—Avoid unnecessary details.
2.—Do not ask question number two until number one has been answered; nor be too curious and, too disinterested; that is do not ask too many questions nor too few.
3.—Do not interrupt another while he is speaking.
4.—Do not contradict another, especially when the subject under discussion is of trivial importance.
5.—Do not do all the talking; give your tired listener a chance.
6.—Be not continually the hero of your ownstory; nor, on the other hand, do not leave your story without a hero.
7.—Choose subjects of mutual interest.
8.—Be a good listener.
9.—Make your speech in harmony with your surroundings.
10.—Do not exaggerate.
11.—Indulge occasionally in a relevant quotation, but do not garble it.
12.—Cultivate tact—our new rule.