[li]line 6.Wyndham: Sir William Wyndham, MP for Somerset 1710-40, prominent opposition leader from the 1720s. See Sedgwick, 2, 562-64, for his reputation. Hervey believed that his high reputation was partly due to Walpole's henchmen, who inflated it in order to deflate Pultney's (p. 21).
[lii]P. 44, line 4.Sir Robert Fagg was better known for horse-racing and wenching than for politics; he appears in Hogarth's painting ofThe Beggar's Operaadmiring Lavinia Fenton and in the ballad cited in my note to p. 20, line 8. Running for Parliament in the borough of Steyning, Sussex, in 1722, he came in third in a five-man race with nineteen votes. He also ran third in 1727; the vote is not recorded, unless Bramston's "two Voices" is to be taken literally.
Université de Montréal
[A]Letter to John Caryll, 6 Feb. 1731.Correspondence, ed. George Sherburn (Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1956), 3, 173. See also Antony Coleman's introduction to James Miller'sHarlequin-Horace(1731; ARS 178).
[B]D. F. Foxon,English Verse 1701-1750(Cambridge: The University Press, 1975), 1, 77. I should also like to thank Mr. Foxon for generous personal help.
[C]I owe my knowledge of Bell's edition to Kent Mullikin of the University of North Carolina.
[D]Woolston was convicted on four counts of blasphemy on 4 March 1729. His offending works were sixDiscourses on the Miracles of our Saviour(1727-29). He never succeeded in paying his fine of £100 (Pope,Poems(Twickenham Edition, genl. ed. John Butt; London: Methuen, New Haven: Yale University Press, 1939-69), 5, 459). Hereafter referred to asTE.Methuen's resignation is erroneously dated in 1730 inDNBand in Romney Sedgwick,The House of Commons 1715-1754(New York: Oxford University Press, 1970), 2, 254. See Abel Boyer,The Political State of Great Britain, 37(May 1729), 523, and John, Lord Hervey.Some Materials towards Memoirs of the Reign of King George II, ed. Romney Sedgwick (London: Eyre and Spottiswoode, 1931), pp. 101-02. According to Hervey, Methuen's ostensible reason for resigning was his dislike of the general conduct of the court, his real reason his failure to be appointed Secretary of State.
[E]Translations of Horace are taken from the Loeb Library edition, trans. H. Rushton Fairclough (Cambridge, Mass., Harvard University Press, 1961). Line numbers of the Latin verse are in the text.
[F]"Verses on the Art of Politicks,"Additions to the Works of Alexander Pope, Esq. Together with Many Original Poems and Letters, of Contemporary Writers, Never Before Published(London, 1776). 1. 158-59. I have been unable to discover where the poem was first printed.
[G]J. H. Plumb.Sir Robert Walpole(London: Cresset). Vol. I (1956). pp. 249-50; Sir Edward Knatchbull,Parliamentary Diary, 1722-30, ed. A. N. Newman (London: Offices of the Royal Historical Society, 1963), p.42.
[H]Most of my information about the Scipios comes from theOxford Companion to Classical Literature.
[J]DNB; Ray A. Kelch,Newcastle: A Duke without Money(Berkeley and Los Angeles: University of California Press, 1974), pp. 9-11; Reed Browning,The Duke of Newcastle(New Haven and London: Yale University Press, 1975), pp. xi-xiii, 80-88.
[K]DNB; Browning, p. 18.
[M]Plumb,Walpole, 2(1960), 52-53; Hervey, pp. 411-12; Browning, p. 113; Archibald S. Foord,His Majesty's Opposition, 1714-1830 (Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1964), pp. 142-45.
[N]The British Journal, 258 (2 Sept. 1727), p. 1.
[O]Reported by Hervey toward the end of 1729 (p. 105).
[P]For illuminating discussions of Opposition ideology and literary strategies, see Maynard Mack,The Garden and the City: Retirement and Politics in the Later Poetry of Pope, 1731-1743(Toronto and Buffalo: University of Toronto Press, 1969); Isaac Kramnick,Bolingbroke and his Circle: The Politicks of Nostalgia in the Age of Walpole(Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1968); and J.V. Guerinot and Rodney D. Jilg, eds.,The Beggar's Opera: Contexts(Hamden, Conn.: Archon Books, 1976), esp. pp. 69-95.
[Q]Part of the research for this introduction was done while I held a Leave Fellowship from the Canada Council, whom I should like to thank for their support.
The facsimile ofThe Art of Politicks(1729) is reproduced by permission from a copy of the first edition (Shelf Mark: *PR3326/B287A8; Foxon B383) in the William Andrews Clark Memorial Library. The total type-page (p. 19) measures 152 x 93 mm.
RISUM TENEATIS AMICI?
figure With Exotic Headdress.
Printed forLawton Gilliver,atHomer'sHeadagainst St.Dunstan's Church inFleet-Street.
Braided Pattern
[1]IF to a Human Face SirJames[i]should drawA Gelding's Mane, and Feathers of Maccaw,A Lady's Bosom, and a Tail of Cod,Who could help laughing at a Sight so odd?Just such a Monster, Sirs, pray think before ye,When you behold one Man bothWhigandTory.Not more extravagant are Drunkard's Dreams,ThanLow-ChurchPoliticks withHigh-ChurchSchemes.[ii]Painters, you'll say, may their own Fancies use,And FreebornBritonsmay theirPartychuse;That's true, I own: but can one Piece be drawnFor Dove and Dragon, Elephant and Fawn?[2]Speakers profess'd, who Gravity pretend, )With motley Sentiments their Speeches blend: )Begin like Patriots[iii], and like Courtiers end. )Some love to roar,the Constitution's broke,And others on theNation's Debtsto joke;Some rail, (they hate a Commonwealth so much,)What e'er the Subject be, against theDutch;While others, with more fashionable Fury,Begin withTurnpikes,[iv]and conclude withFleury;[v]Some, when th' Affair wasBlenheim's glorious Battle,Declaim'd against importingIrish Cattle.But you, from what e'er Side you take your Name,LikeAnna'sMotto, always be the same.[3]Outsides deceive, 'tis hard the Truth to know; )Partiesfrom quaint Denominations flow, )AsScotchandIrishAntiquaries show.[vi])TheLoware said to take Fanaticks Parts,TheHighare bloodyPapistsin their Hearts.Caution and Fear to highest Faults have run;In pleasing both the Parties, you please none.Who in theHouseaffects declaiming Airs,WhalesinChange-Alleypaints: inFish-Street, Bears.Some Metaphors, some Handkerchiefs display; )These peep in Hats, while those with Buttons play, )And make me think itRepetition-Day;[vii])There Knights haranguing hug a neighb'ring Post,And are butQuorumOrators at most.Sooner than thus my want of Sense expose, )I'd deck out Bandy-Legs with Gold-Clock't Hose, )Or wear a Toupet-Wig without a Nose.[viii])Nay, I would sooner have thy Phyz, I swear,Surintendant des Plaisirs d' Angleterre.[ix][4]YeWeekly Writersof seditiousNews,Take Care yourSubjectsartfully to chuse,WritePanegyrickstrong, or boldlyrail,You cannot missPreferment, or aGoal.Wrap up your Poison well, nor fear to sayWhat was a Lye last Night is Truth to Day;Tell this, sink that, arrive atRidpath's Praise,[x]LetAbel Roperyour Ambition raise.To Lye fit Opportunity observe,Saving some double Meaning in reserve;But oh, you'll merit everlasting Fame,If you can quibble on SirRobert's Name.InState-Affairsuse not the Vulgar Phrase,Talk Words scarce known in good QueenBesse's days.New Terms let War or Traffick introduce,And try to bringPersuading Shipsin Use.Coin Words: in coining ne'er mind common Sense,Provided the Original beFrench.[5]LikeSouth-Sea Stock, Expressions rise and fall:KingEdward's Words are now no Words at all.Did ought your Predecessors Genius cramp?Sure ev'ry Reign may have it's proper Stamp.All Sublunary things of Death partake;What Alteration does a Cent'ry make?Kings and Comedians all are mortal found,CæsarandPinkethman[xi]are under Ground.What's not destroy'd by Times devouring Hand?Where'sTroy, and where's theMay-Pole[xii]in theStrand?Pease, Cabbages, and Turnips once grew, whereNow stands newBond-street, and a newer Square;[xiii]Such Piles of Buildings now rise up and down;London itself seems going out ofTown.Our Fathers cross'd fromFulhamin a Wherry,Their Sons enjoy a Bridge atPutney-Ferry.[xiv]Think we that modern Words eternal are?Toupet, andTompion,Cosins, andColmarHereafter will be call'd by some plain ManAWig, aWatch, aPair of Stays, aFan.To Things themselves if Time such change affords,Can there be any trusting to our Words.[6]To screen good Ministers from Publick rage, )And how with Party Madness to engage, )We learn fromAddison's immortal Page. )TheJacobite's ridiculous OpinionIs seen fromTickel's Letter toAvignon.[xv]But who putsCaleb'sCountry-Craftsman[xvi]out,Is still a secret, and the World's in doubt.[7]Not long sinceParish-Clerks, with saucy airs,Apply'dKing David'sPsalmstoState-Affairs.Some certainTunesto Politicks belong,On both Sides Drunkards love a Party-Song.[8]If full a-cross the Speaker's Chair I go,Can I be said theRuleso'th'Houseto know?I'll ask, nor give offence without intent,Nor through meer Sheepishness be impudent.[xvii][9]InActs of Parliamentavoid Sublime,Nor e'er Address his Majesty in Rhime;AnAct of Parliament's a serious thing,Begins with Year of Lord and Year of King;Keeps close to Form, in every word is strict,When it wouldPainsandPenaltiesinflict.Soft Words suit bestPetitionersintent;Soft Words, O yePetitionersof Kent![xviii][10]Who e'er harangues before he gives his Vote,Should send sweet Language from a tuneful Throat.Pultney[xix]the coldest Breast with Zeal can fire,AndRoman ThoughtsbyAttick Stileinspire;He knows from tedious Wranglings to beguileThe seriousHouseinto a chearful Smile;When the great Patriot paints his anxious FearsForEngland's Safety, I am lost in Tears.But when dull Speakers strive to move compassion,I pity their poor Hearers, not the Nation:Unless youngMembersto the purpose speak,I fall a laughing, or I fall asleep.[11]Can Men their inward Faculties controul?Is not the Tongue an Index to the Soul?Laugh not in time ofServiceto your God,Nor bully, when inCustodyo'th'Rod;[xx]Look Grave, and be from Jokes and Grinning far,When brought to sue for Pardon at theBar.[xxi]If then you let your ill-tim'd Wit appear,Knights, Citizens, and Burgesses will sneer.[12]For Land, or Trade, not the same Notions sireTheCity-Merchant, and theCountry-Squire;Their Climes are distant, tho' one Cause[xxii]unitesTheLairdsofScotland, and theCornish Knights.[13]ToLikelihoodyourCharactersconfine;Don't turnSir Paulout, letSir Paulresign.InWalpole's Voice (if Factions Ill intend)Give the TwoUniversitiesa Friend;GiveMaidstonWit, and Elegance refin'd;To both thePelhamsgive theScipiosMind;ToCart'ret, Learning, Eloquence, and Parts;ToGeorgetheSecond, give allEnglishHearts.[14]Sometimes fresh Names in Politicks produce,And Factions yet unheard of introduce;And if you dare attempt a thing so new,Make to itself theFlying-Squadrontrue.[xxiii][15]To speak is free, noMemberis debarr'd:ButFundsandNational Accountsare hard:Safer on common Topicks to discourse,TheMalt-Tax, and aMilitary Force.On these each Coffee-House will lend a hint,Besides a thousand things that are in Print.But steal not Word for Word, nor Thought for Thought:For you'll be teaz'd to death, if you are caught.When Factious Leaders boast increasing strength,Go not too far, nor follow ev'ry Length:Leave room for Change, turn with a grace about,And swear you left 'em, when you found 'em out,[16]With Art and Modesty your Part maintain:And talk likeCol'nel Titus,[xxiv]not likeLane;[xxv]The Trading-Knight with Rants his Speech begins,Sun, Moon, and Stars, and Dragons, Saints, and Kings:ButTitussaid, with his uncommon Sense,When theExclusion-Billwas in suspense,I hear a Lyon in the Lobby roar;Say, Mr. Speaker, shall we shut the doorAnd keep him there, or shall we let him inTo try if we can turn him out again?[17]Some mighty BlusterersImpeachwith noise,And call their Private Cry, the Nation's Voice;[18]From Folio's of Accounts they take their handles,And the whole Ballance proves a pound of Candles;As ifPaul's Cupola were brought to bed,After hard Labour, of a small Pin's Head.[19]SomeRufus,[xxvi]some theConquerorbring in,And some fromJulius Cæsar's days begin.A cunning Speaker can command his chaps,And when theHouseis not in humour, stops;In Falsehood Probability imploys,Nor his old Lies with newer Lies destroys.[20]If when you speak, you'd hear a Needle fall,And make the frequenthear-himsrend the wall,In matters suited to your Taste engage,Remembring still your Quality and Age.Thy task be this, young Knight, and hear my SongWhat Politicks to ev'ry Age belong.[21]WhenBabescan speak,Babesshould be taught to say,King George the Second's Health, Huzza, Huzza!Boysshould learnLatinforPrince William's[xxvii]sake,And GirlsLouisatheir Example make.[22]More loves theYouth, just come to his Estate,To range the fields, than in theHousedebate;More he delights in fav'rite Jowler's Tongue,Than inWill Shippen, orSir William Yong:[xxviii]If in one Chase he can two Horses kill,He cares not twopence for the Land-Tax Bill:Loud in his Wine, in Women not o'er nice,He damns his Uncles if they give advice;Votes as his Father did, when there's aCall,But had much rather, never Vote at all.[23]We take a diff'rent Turn atTwenty-six,And lofty thoughts on some Lord's Daughter fix;With Men in Pow'r strict Friendship we persue,With some considerable Post in view.A Man ofFortyfears to change his Note,One way to Speak, and t'other way to Vote;Careful his Tongue in Passion to command,Avoids the Bar, and Speaker's Reprimand.[24]In Bags theOld Manlets his Treasure rust,Afraid to use it, or the Funds to trust;When Stocks are low, he wants the heart to buy,And through much caution sees 'em rise too high;Thinks nothing rightly done sinceSeventy-eight,Swears presentMembersdo not talk, but prate:InCharles the Second's days, says he, ye Prigs,ToryswereTorysthen, andWhigswereWhigs.Alas! this is a lamentable Truth,We lose in age, as we advance in youth:I laugh, when twenty will like eighty talk,And oldSir JohnwithPolly Peachumwalk.[xxix][25]Now as toDouble, or toFalse Returns,When pockets suffer, and when anger burns,O Thing surpassing faith! Knight strives with Knight,When both have brib'd, and neither's in the right.The Bayliff's self is sent for in that case,And all the Witnesses had face to face.SelectedMemberssoon the fraud unfold,In full Committee of theHouse'tis told;Th' incredible Corruption is destroy'd,The Chairman's angry, and th' Election void.[26]Those who would captivate the well-bred throng,Should not too often speak, nor speak too long:Church, nor Church Matters ever turn to Sport,Nor makeSt. Stephen's Chappel,Dover-Court.[xxx][27]TheSpeaker, when the Commons are assembl'd,May to theGræcian Chorusbe resembl'd;'Tis his the Young and Modest to espouse,And see none draw, or challenge in theHouse:'Tis his Old Hospitality to use,And three good Printers for theHouseto chuse;To let each Representative be heard,And take due care theChaplainbe preferr'd,To hear noMotionmade that's out of joint,And where he spies hisMember, make his point.[28]To Knights new chosen in old time would comeTheCounty Trumpet, and perhaps aDrum;Now when a Burgess new Elect appears,Come Trainbands, Horseguards, Footguards, Grenadeers;When the majority the Town-clerk tells,His Honour pays the Fiddles, Waits,[xxxi]and Bells:Harangues theMob, and is as wise and great,As the most Mystic Oracle of State.[29]When the Duke's Grandson for the County stood,His Beef was fat, and his October good;His Lordship took each Ploughman by the fist,Drunk to their Sons, their Wives and Daughters kiss'd;But when strong Beer their Freeborn Hearts inflames,They sell him Bargains,[xxxii]and they call him Names.Thus is it deem'd inEnglishNobles wiseTo stoop for no one reason but to rise.[30]Election matters shun with cautious awe,O all ye Judges Learned in the Law;A Judge by Bribes as much himself degrades,As Dutchess Dowager by Masquerades.[31]Try not with Jests obscene to force a Smile,Nor lard your Speech with MotherNeedham's Stile:[xxxiii]Let not your tongue to Ωλδφιελδισμυς run,And Κιββερισμυς[xxxiv]with abhorrence shun;Let not your looks affected words disgrace,Nor join with silver Tongue a brazen Face;Let not your hands, like Tallboys,[xxxv]be employ'd,And the mad rant of Tragedy avoid.Just in your Thoughts, in your Expression clear,Neither too modest, nor too bold appear.
[1]IF to a Human Face SirJames[i]should drawA Gelding's Mane, and Feathers of Maccaw,A Lady's Bosom, and a Tail of Cod,Who could help laughing at a Sight so odd?Just such a Monster, Sirs, pray think before ye,When you behold one Man bothWhigandTory.Not more extravagant are Drunkard's Dreams,ThanLow-ChurchPoliticks withHigh-ChurchSchemes.[ii]Painters, you'll say, may their own Fancies use,And FreebornBritonsmay theirPartychuse;That's true, I own: but can one Piece be drawnFor Dove and Dragon, Elephant and Fawn?
[1]I
[2]Speakers profess'd, who Gravity pretend, )With motley Sentiments their Speeches blend: )Begin like Patriots[iii], and like Courtiers end. )Some love to roar,the Constitution's broke,And others on theNation's Debtsto joke;Some rail, (they hate a Commonwealth so much,)What e'er the Subject be, against theDutch;While others, with more fashionable Fury,Begin withTurnpikes,[iv]and conclude withFleury;[v]Some, when th' Affair wasBlenheim's glorious Battle,Declaim'd against importingIrish Cattle.But you, from what e'er Side you take your Name,LikeAnna'sMotto, always be the same.
[3]Outsides deceive, 'tis hard the Truth to know; )Partiesfrom quaint Denominations flow, )AsScotchandIrishAntiquaries show.[vi])TheLoware said to take Fanaticks Parts,TheHighare bloodyPapistsin their Hearts.Caution and Fear to highest Faults have run;In pleasing both the Parties, you please none.Who in theHouseaffects declaiming Airs,WhalesinChange-Alleypaints: inFish-Street, Bears.Some Metaphors, some Handkerchiefs display; )These peep in Hats, while those with Buttons play, )And make me think itRepetition-Day;[vii])There Knights haranguing hug a neighb'ring Post,And are butQuorumOrators at most.Sooner than thus my want of Sense expose, )I'd deck out Bandy-Legs with Gold-Clock't Hose, )Or wear a Toupet-Wig without a Nose.[viii])Nay, I would sooner have thy Phyz, I swear,Surintendant des Plaisirs d' Angleterre.[ix]
[4]YeWeekly Writersof seditiousNews,Take Care yourSubjectsartfully to chuse,WritePanegyrickstrong, or boldlyrail,You cannot missPreferment, or aGoal.Wrap up your Poison well, nor fear to sayWhat was a Lye last Night is Truth to Day;Tell this, sink that, arrive atRidpath's Praise,[x]LetAbel Roperyour Ambition raise.To Lye fit Opportunity observe,Saving some double Meaning in reserve;But oh, you'll merit everlasting Fame,If you can quibble on SirRobert's Name.InState-Affairsuse not the Vulgar Phrase,Talk Words scarce known in good QueenBesse's days.New Terms let War or Traffick introduce,And try to bringPersuading Shipsin Use.Coin Words: in coining ne'er mind common Sense,Provided the Original beFrench.
[5]LikeSouth-Sea Stock, Expressions rise and fall:KingEdward's Words are now no Words at all.Did ought your Predecessors Genius cramp?Sure ev'ry Reign may have it's proper Stamp.All Sublunary things of Death partake;What Alteration does a Cent'ry make?Kings and Comedians all are mortal found,CæsarandPinkethman[xi]are under Ground.What's not destroy'd by Times devouring Hand?Where'sTroy, and where's theMay-Pole[xii]in theStrand?Pease, Cabbages, and Turnips once grew, whereNow stands newBond-street, and a newer Square;[xiii]Such Piles of Buildings now rise up and down;London itself seems going out ofTown.Our Fathers cross'd fromFulhamin a Wherry,Their Sons enjoy a Bridge atPutney-Ferry.[xiv]Think we that modern Words eternal are?Toupet, andTompion,Cosins, andColmarHereafter will be call'd by some plain ManAWig, aWatch, aPair of Stays, aFan.To Things themselves if Time such change affords,Can there be any trusting to our Words.
[6]To screen good Ministers from Publick rage, )And how with Party Madness to engage, )We learn fromAddison's immortal Page. )TheJacobite's ridiculous OpinionIs seen fromTickel's Letter toAvignon.[xv]But who putsCaleb'sCountry-Craftsman[xvi]out,Is still a secret, and the World's in doubt.
[7]Not long sinceParish-Clerks, with saucy airs,Apply'dKing David'sPsalmstoState-Affairs.Some certainTunesto Politicks belong,On both Sides Drunkards love a Party-Song.
[8]If full a-cross the Speaker's Chair I go,Can I be said theRuleso'th'Houseto know?I'll ask, nor give offence without intent,Nor through meer Sheepishness be impudent.[xvii]
[9]InActs of Parliamentavoid Sublime,Nor e'er Address his Majesty in Rhime;AnAct of Parliament's a serious thing,Begins with Year of Lord and Year of King;Keeps close to Form, in every word is strict,When it wouldPainsandPenaltiesinflict.Soft Words suit bestPetitionersintent;Soft Words, O yePetitionersof Kent![xviii]
[10]Who e'er harangues before he gives his Vote,Should send sweet Language from a tuneful Throat.Pultney[xix]the coldest Breast with Zeal can fire,AndRoman ThoughtsbyAttick Stileinspire;He knows from tedious Wranglings to beguileThe seriousHouseinto a chearful Smile;When the great Patriot paints his anxious FearsForEngland's Safety, I am lost in Tears.But when dull Speakers strive to move compassion,I pity their poor Hearers, not the Nation:Unless youngMembersto the purpose speak,I fall a laughing, or I fall asleep.
[11]Can Men their inward Faculties controul?Is not the Tongue an Index to the Soul?Laugh not in time ofServiceto your God,Nor bully, when inCustodyo'th'Rod;[xx]Look Grave, and be from Jokes and Grinning far,When brought to sue for Pardon at theBar.[xxi]If then you let your ill-tim'd Wit appear,Knights, Citizens, and Burgesses will sneer.
[12]For Land, or Trade, not the same Notions sireTheCity-Merchant, and theCountry-Squire;Their Climes are distant, tho' one Cause[xxii]unitesTheLairdsofScotland, and theCornish Knights.
[13]ToLikelihoodyourCharactersconfine;Don't turnSir Paulout, letSir Paulresign.InWalpole's Voice (if Factions Ill intend)Give the TwoUniversitiesa Friend;GiveMaidstonWit, and Elegance refin'd;To both thePelhamsgive theScipiosMind;ToCart'ret, Learning, Eloquence, and Parts;ToGeorgetheSecond, give allEnglishHearts.
[14]Sometimes fresh Names in Politicks produce,And Factions yet unheard of introduce;And if you dare attempt a thing so new,Make to itself theFlying-Squadrontrue.[xxiii]
[15]To speak is free, noMemberis debarr'd:ButFundsandNational Accountsare hard:Safer on common Topicks to discourse,TheMalt-Tax, and aMilitary Force.On these each Coffee-House will lend a hint,Besides a thousand things that are in Print.But steal not Word for Word, nor Thought for Thought:For you'll be teaz'd to death, if you are caught.When Factious Leaders boast increasing strength,Go not too far, nor follow ev'ry Length:Leave room for Change, turn with a grace about,And swear you left 'em, when you found 'em out,
[16]With Art and Modesty your Part maintain:And talk likeCol'nel Titus,[xxiv]not likeLane;[xxv]The Trading-Knight with Rants his Speech begins,Sun, Moon, and Stars, and Dragons, Saints, and Kings:ButTitussaid, with his uncommon Sense,When theExclusion-Billwas in suspense,I hear a Lyon in the Lobby roar;Say, Mr. Speaker, shall we shut the doorAnd keep him there, or shall we let him inTo try if we can turn him out again?
[17]Some mighty BlusterersImpeachwith noise,And call their Private Cry, the Nation's Voice;
[18]From Folio's of Accounts they take their handles,And the whole Ballance proves a pound of Candles;As ifPaul's Cupola were brought to bed,After hard Labour, of a small Pin's Head.
[19]SomeRufus,[xxvi]some theConquerorbring in,And some fromJulius Cæsar's days begin.A cunning Speaker can command his chaps,And when theHouseis not in humour, stops;In Falsehood Probability imploys,Nor his old Lies with newer Lies destroys.
[20]If when you speak, you'd hear a Needle fall,And make the frequenthear-himsrend the wall,In matters suited to your Taste engage,Remembring still your Quality and Age.Thy task be this, young Knight, and hear my SongWhat Politicks to ev'ry Age belong.
[21]WhenBabescan speak,Babesshould be taught to say,King George the Second's Health, Huzza, Huzza!Boysshould learnLatinforPrince William's[xxvii]sake,And GirlsLouisatheir Example make.
[22]More loves theYouth, just come to his Estate,To range the fields, than in theHousedebate;More he delights in fav'rite Jowler's Tongue,Than inWill Shippen, orSir William Yong:[xxviii]If in one Chase he can two Horses kill,He cares not twopence for the Land-Tax Bill:Loud in his Wine, in Women not o'er nice,He damns his Uncles if they give advice;Votes as his Father did, when there's aCall,But had much rather, never Vote at all.
[23]We take a diff'rent Turn atTwenty-six,And lofty thoughts on some Lord's Daughter fix;With Men in Pow'r strict Friendship we persue,With some considerable Post in view.A Man ofFortyfears to change his Note,One way to Speak, and t'other way to Vote;Careful his Tongue in Passion to command,Avoids the Bar, and Speaker's Reprimand.
[24]In Bags theOld Manlets his Treasure rust,Afraid to use it, or the Funds to trust;When Stocks are low, he wants the heart to buy,And through much caution sees 'em rise too high;Thinks nothing rightly done sinceSeventy-eight,Swears presentMembersdo not talk, but prate:InCharles the Second's days, says he, ye Prigs,ToryswereTorysthen, andWhigswereWhigs.Alas! this is a lamentable Truth,We lose in age, as we advance in youth:I laugh, when twenty will like eighty talk,And oldSir JohnwithPolly Peachumwalk.[xxix]
[25]Now as toDouble, or toFalse Returns,When pockets suffer, and when anger burns,O Thing surpassing faith! Knight strives with Knight,When both have brib'd, and neither's in the right.The Bayliff's self is sent for in that case,And all the Witnesses had face to face.SelectedMemberssoon the fraud unfold,In full Committee of theHouse'tis told;Th' incredible Corruption is destroy'd,The Chairman's angry, and th' Election void.
[26]Those who would captivate the well-bred throng,Should not too often speak, nor speak too long:Church, nor Church Matters ever turn to Sport,Nor makeSt. Stephen's Chappel,Dover-Court.[xxx]
[27]TheSpeaker, when the Commons are assembl'd,May to theGræcian Chorusbe resembl'd;'Tis his the Young and Modest to espouse,And see none draw, or challenge in theHouse:'Tis his Old Hospitality to use,And three good Printers for theHouseto chuse;To let each Representative be heard,And take due care theChaplainbe preferr'd,To hear noMotionmade that's out of joint,And where he spies hisMember, make his point.
[28]To Knights new chosen in old time would comeTheCounty Trumpet, and perhaps aDrum;Now when a Burgess new Elect appears,Come Trainbands, Horseguards, Footguards, Grenadeers;When the majority the Town-clerk tells,His Honour pays the Fiddles, Waits,[xxxi]and Bells:Harangues theMob, and is as wise and great,As the most Mystic Oracle of State.
[29]When the Duke's Grandson for the County stood,His Beef was fat, and his October good;His Lordship took each Ploughman by the fist,Drunk to their Sons, their Wives and Daughters kiss'd;But when strong Beer their Freeborn Hearts inflames,They sell him Bargains,[xxxii]and they call him Names.Thus is it deem'd inEnglishNobles wiseTo stoop for no one reason but to rise.
[30]Election matters shun with cautious awe,O all ye Judges Learned in the Law;A Judge by Bribes as much himself degrades,As Dutchess Dowager by Masquerades.
[31]Try not with Jests obscene to force a Smile,Nor lard your Speech with MotherNeedham's Stile:[xxxiii]Let not your tongue to Ωλδφιελδισμυς run,And Κιββερισμυς[xxxiv]with abhorrence shun;Let not your looks affected words disgrace,Nor join with silver Tongue a brazen Face;Let not your hands, like Tallboys,[xxxv]be employ'd,And the mad rant of Tragedy avoid.Just in your Thoughts, in your Expression clear,Neither too modest, nor too bold appear.
[32]Others in vain a like Success will boast,He speaks most easy, who has study'd most.[33]A Peer's pert Heir has to the Commons spokeA vile Reflection, or a Bawdy Joke;Call'd to the House of Lords, of this beware,'Tis what theBishops Benchwill never bear.Amongst theCommonsis such freedom shown,They lash each other, and attack the Throne:Yet so unskilful or so fearful some,For nine that speak there's nine-and-forty dumb.[34]WhenJamesthefirst, at greatBritannia's helm,Rul'd this word-clipping and word-coining Realm,No words to Royal favour made pretence,But what agreed in sound and clash'd in sense.Thrice happy he! how great that Speaker's praise,Whose ev'ry Period look'd an hundred ways.What then? we now with just abhorrence shunThe trifling Quibble, and the School-boys Pun;Tho' no great Connoisseur, I make a shiftJust to find out aDurfeyfrom aSwift;I can discern with half an eye, I hope,Mist[xxxvi]fromJo Addison, fromEusden Pope:I know a Farce from one ofCongreve's Plays,AndCibber's Opera[xxxvii]fromJohnny Gay's.[35]When pertDefoehis sawcy Papers writ,He from a Cart was Pillor'd for his Wit:By Mob was pelted half a Morning's space,And rotten Eggs besmear'd his yellow face;TheCensor[xxxviii]then improv'd the list'ning Isle,And held both Parties in an artful Smile.A Scribbling Crew now pinching Winter brings, )That spare no earthly nor no heav'nly things, )Nor Church, nor State, nor Treasurers, nor Kings.)But Blasphemy displeases all the Town; )And for defying Scripture, Law, and Crown, )Woolstonshould pay his Fine, and lose his Gown,)[36]It must be own'd theJournalstry all waysTo merit their respective Party's praise:They jar in every Article fromSpain;A War these threaten, those a Peace maintain:Tho' Lye they will, to give 'em all their due,In Foreign matters, and Domestick too.Whoe'er thou art that would'st aPostmanwrite,Enquire all day, and hearken all the night.Sure,Gazetteersand Writers ofCourantsMight soon exceed th' Intelligence ofFrance:To be out-done oldEnglandshould refuse,As in her Arms, so in her Publick News;But Truth is scarce, the Scene of Action large,And Correspondence an excessive Charge.[37]There are who say, no Man can be a WitUnless forNewgateor forBedlamfit;Let Pamphleteers abusive Satyr write,To shew a Genius is to shew a Spite:That Author's Works will ne'er be reckon'd goodWho has not been whereCurlthe Printer[xxxix]stood.[38]Alass Poor Me, you may my fortune guess:I write, and yet Humanity profess;(Tho' nothing can delight a modern Judge,Without ill-nature and a private Grudge)I love the King, the Queen, and Royal Race:I like the Government, but want no Place:Too low in Life to be aJusticeI,And for a Constable, thank God, too high;Was never in a Plot, my Brain's not hurt;I Politicks to Poetry convert.[39]A Politician must (as I have read)Be furnish'd, in the first place, with aHead:AHeadwell fill'd withMachiavelianBrains,And stuff'd with Precedents of former Reigns:Must Journals read, andMagna Chartaquote;But acts still wiser, if he speaks byNote:Learns well his Lesson, and ne'er fears mistakes:For Ready Money Ready Speakers makes;He must Instructions and Credentials draw,Pay well the Army, and protect the Law:Give to his Country what's his Country's due,But first helpBrothers,Sons, andCousinstoo.He must readGrotiusupon War and Peace,[xl]And the twelve Judges Salary encrease.He must oblige old Friends and new Allies,And find outWays and Meansfor freshSupplies.He must the Weavers Grievances redress,And Merchants wants in Merchants words express.[40]Dramatick Poets that expect the Bays,Should cull our Histories for Party Plays;Wickfort's Embassador[xli]should fill their head,And theState-Tryalscarefully be read:For what isDryden's Muse andOtway's PlotsTo th'Earl of Essexor theQueen of Scots?[xlii][41]'Tis said thatQueen Elizabethcould speak,At twelve years old, rightAttickfull-mouth'dGreek;Hence was the Student forc'd atGreekto drudge,If he would be a Bishop, or a Judge.Divines and Lawyers now don't think they thrive,'Till promis'd places of men still alive:How old is such an one in such a Post?The answer is, he's seventy-five almost:Th' Arch-Bishop, and the Master of the Rolls?[xliii]Neither is young, and one's as old asPaul's.Will Men, that ask such Questions, publish booksLike learnedHooker's orChief Justice Cook's?[42]On Tender Subjects with discretion touch,And never say too little, or too much.On Trivial Matters Flourishes are wrong,Motions for Candles never should be long:Or if you move, in case of sudden Rain,To shut the Windows, speak distinct and plain.Unless you talk goodEnglishdownright Sense,Can you be understood by SerjeantSpence?[xliv][43]New Stories always should with Truth agreeOr Truth's half-Sister, Probability:Scarce couldToft's Rabbits[xlv]and pretended throws[xlvi]On half the HonourableHouseimpose.[44]WhenCatospeaks, youngShallowruns away,And swears it is so dull he cannot stay:When Rakes begin on Blasphemy to border,BromleyandHanmer[xlvii]cry aloud——To Order.The point is this, with manly Sense and easeT' inform the Judgment, and the Fancy please.Praise it deserves, nor difficult the thing,At once to serve one's Countrey and one's King.Such Speeches bring the wealthyTonson's gain,[xlviii])From Age to Age they minuted remain, )As Precedents forGeorgethe twentieth's Reign. )[45]Is there a Man on earth so perfect found,Who ne'er mistook a word in Sense or Sound?Not Blund'ring, but persisting is the fault;No mortal Sin isLapsus Linguæthought:Clerks may mistake; consid'ring who 'tis from,I pardon little Slips inCler. Dom. Com.[xlix]But let me tell you I'll not take his part,If ev'ryThursdayhe dateDie Mart.[l]Of Sputt'ring mortals 'tis the fatal curse,By mending Blunders still to make 'em worse.Men sneer when—— gets a lucky Thought,And stare ifWyndham[li]should be nodding caught.But sleeping's what the wisest men may do,Should the Committee chance to sit 'till Two.[46]Not unlike Paintings, Principles appear,Some best at distance, some when we are near.The love of Politicks so vulgar's grown,My Landlord's Party from his Sign is known:Mark ofFrenchwine, seeOrmond's Head appear,WhileMarlb'rough's Face directs to Beer and Beer:SomeBuchanan's, thePope's Head some like best,TheDevil Tavernis a standing jest.[47]Whoe'er you are that have a Seat secure,Duly return'd, and fromPetitionsure,Stick to your Friends in whatsoe'er you say;With strong aversion shun the Middle way:The Middle way the best we sometimes call,But 'tis in Politicks no way at all.ATrimmer's what both Parties turn to sport,By Country hated, and despis'd at Court.Who would in earnest to a Party come,Must give his Vote, not whimsical, but plumb.There is no Medium: for the term in vogueOn either side is, Honest Man, or Rogue.Can it be difficult our Minds to show,Where all the Difference is, Yes, or No?[48]In all Professions, Time and Pains give Skill,Without hard Study, dare Physicians kill?Can he that ne'er read Statutes or Reports,Give Chamber-Counsel, or urge Law in Courts?But ev'ry Whipster knows Affairs of State,Nor fears on nicest Subjects to debate.A Knight of eighteen hundred pounds a year—Who minds his Head, if his Estate be clear?Sure he may speak his mind, and tell theHouse,He matters not the Government a Louse.Lack-learning Knights, these things are safely saidTo Friends in private, at theBedford-Head:But in theHouse, before your Tongue runs on,ConsultSir James,Lord William's dead and gone.Words to recall is in no Member's power,One single word may send you to theTower.[49]The wrong'd to help, the lawless to restrain,Thrice ev'ry Year, in ancientEgbert's Reign,TheMembersto theMitchelgemotwent,In after Ages call'd theParliament;Early theMitchelgemotdid beginT' enroll their Statutes, on a Parchment Skin:For impious Treason hence no room was left,For Murder, for Polygamy, or Theft:Since when the Senates power both Sexes knowFrom Hops and Claret, Soap and Callico.Now wholesom Laws young Senators bring in'GainstGoals,Attornies,Bribery, andGin.Since such the nature of theBritishState,The power ofParliamentso old and great,Ye 'Squires andIrishLords, 'tis worth your care )To be return'd for City, Town, or Shire, )By Sheriff, Bailiff, Constable, or Mayor. )[50]Some doubt, which to a Seat has best Pretence,A man of Substance, or a man of Sense:But never any Member feats will do,Without a Head-piece and a Pocket too;Sense is requir'd the depth of Things to reach,And Money gives Authority to Speech.[51]A Man of Bus'ness won't 'till ev'ning dine;Abstains from Women, Company, and Wine:FromFig's new Theatre he'll miss a Night,Tho' Cocks, and Bulls, andIrishWomen fight:Nor sultry Sun, nor storms of soaking Rain,The Man of Bus'ness from theHousedetain:Nor speaks he for no reason but to say,I am aMember, and I spoke to day.I speak sometimes, you'll hear his Lordship cry,Because Some speak that have less Sense than I.[52]The Man that has both Land and Money tooMay wonders in a Trading Borough do:They'll praise his Ven'son, and commend his Port, )Turn their two former Members into Sport, )And, if he likes it, Satyrize the Court. )But at a Feast 'tis difficult to knowFrom real Friends an undiscover'd Foe;The man that swears he will the Poll secure,And pawns his Soul that your Election's sure,Suspect that man: beware, all is not right,He's, ten to one, a Corporation-Bite.[53]AldermanPond, a downright honest Man,Would say, I cannot help you, or I can:To spend your Money, Sir, is all a jest;Matters are settled, set your heart at rest:We've made a Compromise, and, Sir, you know,That sends one MemberHigh, and t'otherLow.But if his good Advice you would not take,He'd scorn your Supper, and your Punch forsake:Leave you of mighty Interest to brag,And poll two Voices likeSir Robert Fag.[lii][54]Parliamenteeringis a sort of Itch,That will too oft unwary Knights bewitch.Two good Estates SirHarry Clodpolespent;Sate thrice, but spoke not once, in Parliament:Two good Estates are gone—Who'll take his word?Oh! should his Uncle die, he'd spend a third:He'd buy a House, his happiness to crown,Within a mile of some goodBorough-Town;Tag, Rag, and Bobtail to SirHarry's run,Men that have Votes, and Women that have none:Sons, Daughters, Grandsons, with his Honour dine;He keeps a Publick-House without a Sign.Coolers and Smiths extol th' ensuing Choice,And drunken Taylors boast their right of Voice.Dearly the free-born neighbourhood is bought,They never leave him while he's worth a groat:So Leeches stick, nor quit the bleeding wound,Till off they drop with Skinfuls to the ground.
[32]Others in vain a like Success will boast,He speaks most easy, who has study'd most.
[33]A Peer's pert Heir has to the Commons spokeA vile Reflection, or a Bawdy Joke;Call'd to the House of Lords, of this beware,'Tis what theBishops Benchwill never bear.Amongst theCommonsis such freedom shown,They lash each other, and attack the Throne:Yet so unskilful or so fearful some,For nine that speak there's nine-and-forty dumb.
[34]WhenJamesthefirst, at greatBritannia's helm,Rul'd this word-clipping and word-coining Realm,No words to Royal favour made pretence,But what agreed in sound and clash'd in sense.Thrice happy he! how great that Speaker's praise,Whose ev'ry Period look'd an hundred ways.What then? we now with just abhorrence shunThe trifling Quibble, and the School-boys Pun;Tho' no great Connoisseur, I make a shiftJust to find out aDurfeyfrom aSwift;I can discern with half an eye, I hope,Mist[xxxvi]fromJo Addison, fromEusden Pope:I know a Farce from one ofCongreve's Plays,AndCibber's Opera[xxxvii]fromJohnny Gay's.
[35]When pertDefoehis sawcy Papers writ,He from a Cart was Pillor'd for his Wit:By Mob was pelted half a Morning's space,And rotten Eggs besmear'd his yellow face;TheCensor[xxxviii]then improv'd the list'ning Isle,And held both Parties in an artful Smile.A Scribbling Crew now pinching Winter brings, )That spare no earthly nor no heav'nly things, )Nor Church, nor State, nor Treasurers, nor Kings.)But Blasphemy displeases all the Town; )And for defying Scripture, Law, and Crown, )Woolstonshould pay his Fine, and lose his Gown,)
[36]It must be own'd theJournalstry all waysTo merit their respective Party's praise:They jar in every Article fromSpain;A War these threaten, those a Peace maintain:Tho' Lye they will, to give 'em all their due,In Foreign matters, and Domestick too.Whoe'er thou art that would'st aPostmanwrite,Enquire all day, and hearken all the night.Sure,Gazetteersand Writers ofCourantsMight soon exceed th' Intelligence ofFrance:To be out-done oldEnglandshould refuse,As in her Arms, so in her Publick News;But Truth is scarce, the Scene of Action large,And Correspondence an excessive Charge.
[37]There are who say, no Man can be a WitUnless forNewgateor forBedlamfit;Let Pamphleteers abusive Satyr write,To shew a Genius is to shew a Spite:That Author's Works will ne'er be reckon'd goodWho has not been whereCurlthe Printer[xxxix]stood.
[38]Alass Poor Me, you may my fortune guess:I write, and yet Humanity profess;(Tho' nothing can delight a modern Judge,Without ill-nature and a private Grudge)I love the King, the Queen, and Royal Race:I like the Government, but want no Place:Too low in Life to be aJusticeI,And for a Constable, thank God, too high;Was never in a Plot, my Brain's not hurt;I Politicks to Poetry convert.
[39]A Politician must (as I have read)Be furnish'd, in the first place, with aHead:AHeadwell fill'd withMachiavelianBrains,And stuff'd with Precedents of former Reigns:Must Journals read, andMagna Chartaquote;But acts still wiser, if he speaks byNote:Learns well his Lesson, and ne'er fears mistakes:For Ready Money Ready Speakers makes;He must Instructions and Credentials draw,Pay well the Army, and protect the Law:Give to his Country what's his Country's due,But first helpBrothers,Sons, andCousinstoo.He must readGrotiusupon War and Peace,[xl]And the twelve Judges Salary encrease.He must oblige old Friends and new Allies,And find outWays and Meansfor freshSupplies.He must the Weavers Grievances redress,And Merchants wants in Merchants words express.
[40]Dramatick Poets that expect the Bays,Should cull our Histories for Party Plays;Wickfort's Embassador[xli]should fill their head,And theState-Tryalscarefully be read:For what isDryden's Muse andOtway's PlotsTo th'Earl of Essexor theQueen of Scots?[xlii]
[41]'Tis said thatQueen Elizabethcould speak,At twelve years old, rightAttickfull-mouth'dGreek;Hence was the Student forc'd atGreekto drudge,If he would be a Bishop, or a Judge.Divines and Lawyers now don't think they thrive,'Till promis'd places of men still alive:How old is such an one in such a Post?The answer is, he's seventy-five almost:Th' Arch-Bishop, and the Master of the Rolls?[xliii]Neither is young, and one's as old asPaul's.Will Men, that ask such Questions, publish booksLike learnedHooker's orChief Justice Cook's?
[42]On Tender Subjects with discretion touch,And never say too little, or too much.On Trivial Matters Flourishes are wrong,Motions for Candles never should be long:Or if you move, in case of sudden Rain,To shut the Windows, speak distinct and plain.Unless you talk goodEnglishdownright Sense,Can you be understood by SerjeantSpence?[xliv]
[43]New Stories always should with Truth agreeOr Truth's half-Sister, Probability:Scarce couldToft's Rabbits[xlv]and pretended throws[xlvi]On half the HonourableHouseimpose.
[44]WhenCatospeaks, youngShallowruns away,And swears it is so dull he cannot stay:When Rakes begin on Blasphemy to border,BromleyandHanmer[xlvii]cry aloud——To Order.The point is this, with manly Sense and easeT' inform the Judgment, and the Fancy please.Praise it deserves, nor difficult the thing,At once to serve one's Countrey and one's King.Such Speeches bring the wealthyTonson's gain,[xlviii])From Age to Age they minuted remain, )As Precedents forGeorgethe twentieth's Reign. )
[45]Is there a Man on earth so perfect found,Who ne'er mistook a word in Sense or Sound?Not Blund'ring, but persisting is the fault;No mortal Sin isLapsus Linguæthought:Clerks may mistake; consid'ring who 'tis from,I pardon little Slips inCler. Dom. Com.[xlix]But let me tell you I'll not take his part,If ev'ryThursdayhe dateDie Mart.[l]Of Sputt'ring mortals 'tis the fatal curse,By mending Blunders still to make 'em worse.Men sneer when—— gets a lucky Thought,And stare ifWyndham[li]should be nodding caught.But sleeping's what the wisest men may do,Should the Committee chance to sit 'till Two.
[46]Not unlike Paintings, Principles appear,Some best at distance, some when we are near.The love of Politicks so vulgar's grown,My Landlord's Party from his Sign is known:Mark ofFrenchwine, seeOrmond's Head appear,WhileMarlb'rough's Face directs to Beer and Beer:SomeBuchanan's, thePope's Head some like best,TheDevil Tavernis a standing jest.
[47]Whoe'er you are that have a Seat secure,Duly return'd, and fromPetitionsure,Stick to your Friends in whatsoe'er you say;With strong aversion shun the Middle way:The Middle way the best we sometimes call,But 'tis in Politicks no way at all.ATrimmer's what both Parties turn to sport,By Country hated, and despis'd at Court.Who would in earnest to a Party come,Must give his Vote, not whimsical, but plumb.There is no Medium: for the term in vogueOn either side is, Honest Man, or Rogue.Can it be difficult our Minds to show,Where all the Difference is, Yes, or No?
[48]In all Professions, Time and Pains give Skill,Without hard Study, dare Physicians kill?Can he that ne'er read Statutes or Reports,Give Chamber-Counsel, or urge Law in Courts?But ev'ry Whipster knows Affairs of State,Nor fears on nicest Subjects to debate.A Knight of eighteen hundred pounds a year—Who minds his Head, if his Estate be clear?Sure he may speak his mind, and tell theHouse,He matters not the Government a Louse.Lack-learning Knights, these things are safely saidTo Friends in private, at theBedford-Head:But in theHouse, before your Tongue runs on,ConsultSir James,Lord William's dead and gone.Words to recall is in no Member's power,One single word may send you to theTower.
[49]The wrong'd to help, the lawless to restrain,Thrice ev'ry Year, in ancientEgbert's Reign,TheMembersto theMitchelgemotwent,In after Ages call'd theParliament;Early theMitchelgemotdid beginT' enroll their Statutes, on a Parchment Skin:For impious Treason hence no room was left,For Murder, for Polygamy, or Theft:Since when the Senates power both Sexes knowFrom Hops and Claret, Soap and Callico.Now wholesom Laws young Senators bring in'GainstGoals,Attornies,Bribery, andGin.Since such the nature of theBritishState,The power ofParliamentso old and great,Ye 'Squires andIrishLords, 'tis worth your care )To be return'd for City, Town, or Shire, )By Sheriff, Bailiff, Constable, or Mayor. )
[50]Some doubt, which to a Seat has best Pretence,A man of Substance, or a man of Sense:But never any Member feats will do,Without a Head-piece and a Pocket too;Sense is requir'd the depth of Things to reach,And Money gives Authority to Speech.
[51]A Man of Bus'ness won't 'till ev'ning dine;Abstains from Women, Company, and Wine:FromFig's new Theatre he'll miss a Night,Tho' Cocks, and Bulls, andIrishWomen fight:Nor sultry Sun, nor storms of soaking Rain,The Man of Bus'ness from theHousedetain:Nor speaks he for no reason but to say,I am aMember, and I spoke to day.I speak sometimes, you'll hear his Lordship cry,Because Some speak that have less Sense than I.
[52]The Man that has both Land and Money tooMay wonders in a Trading Borough do:They'll praise his Ven'son, and commend his Port, )Turn their two former Members into Sport, )And, if he likes it, Satyrize the Court. )But at a Feast 'tis difficult to knowFrom real Friends an undiscover'd Foe;The man that swears he will the Poll secure,And pawns his Soul that your Election's sure,Suspect that man: beware, all is not right,He's, ten to one, a Corporation-Bite.
[53]AldermanPond, a downright honest Man,Would say, I cannot help you, or I can:To spend your Money, Sir, is all a jest;Matters are settled, set your heart at rest:We've made a Compromise, and, Sir, you know,That sends one MemberHigh, and t'otherLow.But if his good Advice you would not take,He'd scorn your Supper, and your Punch forsake:Leave you of mighty Interest to brag,And poll two Voices likeSir Robert Fag.[lii]
[54]Parliamenteeringis a sort of Itch,That will too oft unwary Knights bewitch.Two good Estates SirHarry Clodpolespent;Sate thrice, but spoke not once, in Parliament:Two good Estates are gone—Who'll take his word?Oh! should his Uncle die, he'd spend a third:He'd buy a House, his happiness to crown,Within a mile of some goodBorough-Town;Tag, Rag, and Bobtail to SirHarry's run,Men that have Votes, and Women that have none:Sons, Daughters, Grandsons, with his Honour dine;He keeps a Publick-House without a Sign.Coolers and Smiths extol th' ensuing Choice,And drunken Taylors boast their right of Voice.Dearly the free-born neighbourhood is bought,They never leave him while he's worth a groat:So Leeches stick, nor quit the bleeding wound,Till off they drop with Skinfuls to the ground.
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