Salvation, oh the joyfull sound,What music to our ears;A sovereign Balm for every wound,A cordial for our fears.Glory, honour, etc. etc.[37]
Salvation, oh the joyfull sound,What music to our ears;A sovereign Balm for every wound,A cordial for our fears.Glory, honour, etc. etc.[37]
Salvation, oh the joyfull sound,
What music to our ears;
A sovereign Balm for every wound,
A cordial for our fears.
Glory, honour, etc. etc.[37]
I was allmoste ready to fly away. I went to bed, but did hardly sleep all the night, praying and praising God. Never the less in all this I did not believe that my sins was pardoned, but I hope God would do it, and that soon. In the morning went to the man of God, told him how I feeled, to which he gave me great encouragement. The next night went to preaching aboute two miles out of town. I was still very comfartable, but could not believe. The next day being 21, aboute two or three o'clock in the afternoon, I went to pray that God would show me the hindrance that stood between him and my soul, and that he would show me by that man of God, or by some other means. After I rose up from my knees I went to the man of God. He saw me coming, and asked me with a smile, "Well, Captain, how is it with you now?" I answered, "I have been just now praying that God would show me the hindrance that stands between him and my soul, and take it away from me." He answered in his usual pleasant way,"Nothing at all, Captain, only unbelief; but I would advise you to spend moste of this afternoon in prayer, that God would show you under the sarmon, or by some other means, before you go to bed," etc. So I did according to his direction, and in the evning went to preching in great expectation. And when Mr. Morel delivered his text from the 15 chapter St. John, "Abide in me and I in you," and as he went on a little, I thought, surely this is for me. Hope sprung up; but after a little further I thought Mr. Cooper had been telling the precher of what I had told him, which set me in doubting. But after he went on a little further, I said to myself, "Whether he have told him or not, it is for me," and I believed in that moment, so that I rejoiced with joy unspeakable and full of glory. As soon as the sarvice was ended, lest Satan should get an advantage over me, I told the preacher what the Lord had done for me, and immediately Mr. Cooper, so that we rejoiced greately together, to which the latter told me, "You must go in the morning to such and such a ones" (mentioned six or seven houses), "and tell them what the Lord have done for you, and forget not to sing and pray with them." So I went according to his order, and told them that I had received the comforter, so that we had a happy morning together. Well, then, I went on my way rejoicing, no doubts, no fears, nither hardly a temptation, until the end of ten or twelve days. So then I went on, sume times on the mount with Peter and John, some times in doubts and fears; and if I did not allwayse find my mind in a blaze of prayer unto God, I frequent used to say to myself, "Now I am surely getting into a lukewarm state," and so write bitter things against myself. Aboute this time I begun to fast once a week, until aboute four o'clock in the afternoon, and abstain to nearly half my fill. I think it was in the later end of Augst when I received a letter from my mother-in-law consarning my wife's death. I soon begun to reason if she was gone happy or not, so that in the course of a few days after I used to goout by night, and looking up towards heaven, wishing and praying to see her vision, or to know by some means whether she was gone happy or not. And one night, before I went to bed, I prayed earnestely to the Lord if he would show me by dream or by vision. So that night I dreamed I was amongst serpents and vipars, and the worst of venemest beasts, that I had the hardest struggels to get clear of them, so when I awaked I was in a lake of sweat from head to foot. Then I thought I had not done according to the will of God. I continued in that state, with my harp hanged upon the willows, could not sing one note for a thousand worlds for all so much delight I took in it in times past, keep it all this time to myself, so that I got myself into such wilderness state that I could hardly tell if I was in the favour of God or not. But I think it was to the end aboute fourteen days I opened my mind to Mrs. Snow, who said, "By your own account your wife had good morals, and shehadalso the preachers and people to pray andinstruct her; I have a good hope she is gone happy. Nevertheless, whether or not, you must leave that to God, it is a business you must have nothing at all to do with; and if you continue to go on in this way, I am in doubt as you are in danger to lose all your Religion." So we kneeled down and she prayed for me, and immediately I went to a prayer meeting. The first hymn was,
My God, the spring of all my joy,The life of my delights, etc.
My God, the spring of all my joy,The life of my delights, etc.
My God, the spring of all my joy,
The life of my delights, etc.
I sung with a loud voice but with a wet face, so that the temptation left me. Glory be to God for dear friends, etc. So I went on as before, some times happy and other times in doubts and fears, but still getting a little strength.
I think it was aboute this time that I left of drinking water, and I think it was in the beginning of September I concluded in my mind to quit the town and go to Baltimore; and as there was a ship bound there I spoke for a passage, and got most things ready for the voyage. But oh! what a tryal it was to me to think ofleaving of my New York friends, where the Lord had helped me in such abundant manner, and then to go 700 miles from there to a place and people I knew nothing of. I begun to reason as before with the enemy of my soul, "Surely at last I shall become a castaway, surely I shall be stripped of all my Religion!" I suppose no man can conceive the misery I feeled in my own mind for the course of aboute ten or twelve days; I have thought since that I never had a greater tryal. But to the end of this time one night I went to preching, where Mr. Asbery,[38]with his great loud voice, gave out this hymn—
Tho' troubles assail and dangers afright,If friends all should fail and foes all unite,Yet one thing assures us, what ever betide,I trust in all dangers the Lord will provide,etc., etc.[39]
Tho' troubles assail and dangers afright,If friends all should fail and foes all unite,Yet one thing assures us, what ever betide,I trust in all dangers the Lord will provide,etc., etc.[39]
Tho' troubles assail and dangers afright,
If friends all should fail and foes all unite,
Yet one thing assures us, what ever betide,
I trust in all dangers the Lord will provide,
etc., etc.[39]
I never heard that hymn before, and as he went on I was filled with such faith and love I could trust and not be afraid; it mattered nothing to me where I went, as I believed that God would be with me. I never opened my mind to no person in the course of all this time, but I was thinking to the same day I sailed, or the day before, and that only to desire one of my friends when my money came from England to remitt it unto me. But at that time, as I was so happy in God, and could trust him with both soul and body, I thought I could trust his servant allso. So I begun and opened all my mind to my Father Cooper, told him who and what I was, and how I came there, and all my reason I had to quit the town, which was, as my right name was H. Carter, and as I hailed as H. Harry, I thought if I entered into business I must at times have business upon the wharves,[40]amongst theshipping; and if I ever meet any person that know me I should be branded as a hypocrite, and hurt my partner and sadly wound the cause of God. He answered and said, "Captn., as that is the cause, I think you need not leave the place. If you think proppar, I'll speak to the prechers and your leader, and appoint to meet to one of your friends' houses one afternoon, where, I think, we shall be able to settle all the business, but you must not be presant." Accordingly they meet all together, those I was moste particular acquainted with, so he opened the business. They all joined together, and said, "He did this when in a natural state, not meaning to wrong or defraud any man, for personal safety, and when we hear anyone call him 'Captain Harry' or 'Mr. Harry,' we must say his surname is Carter, as it is the custom in England where there is two Captains of one family, the one is called after his Christian name." So my old friend delayed no time, but soon come with this full account to me where I rejoiced in my great deliverer. I could not then doubt but this was the Lord's doings, and it was marvellous in my eyes, so that the report soon spread aboute the town. But moste of them, as they begun with "Captain Harry," so continued; and I thought tho' their love was so great to me before, it was increased if possible tenfold more so; so then I concluded in my mind to stay, and thought to live and die there, and went on as before, watching and praying, frequaintely complaining of my littleness of love, weakeness of Faith, etc., until aboute the 19 of December, when I went to class meeting on the Sabbath morning. Providence sent one there from the County of Durham, in England, whose name was Hodgson. He lately come to town in company with two excellent men from the same place, and as he being a stranger, the leader desired him to speake to the people. So he begun, saying how and when he was convinced of sin, when he was converted, and when he was sanctified unto God; and after, exhorted all that believedto only believe and see the salvation of God, and with this language, "all things in Christe is now ready, all the fitness he requires is to feel the need of him." So he preached a presant and full salvation unto us. Such language I never heard before with no man. Now in the course of this time I had been there Religion was not in a very prospras state, few[41]convinsed and very few converted unto God, but the people going on still in a steady state, so that we never heard sanctification preached, or seldom prayed for, in publick, and amongst the whole of the methodists that was there at that time, aboute, as well as I can remember, 260 in all, and only two persons out of the whole number that did perfess and enjoy the blessing of sanctification—my Father Cooper was one, and an old woman the other. So that I thought if I could receive that blessing to the end of three or four years, I thought it would be a blessing indeed, etc. So then, after the meeting was ended,as Mr. Hodgson and me lodged in the same part of the town, went in company together. He begun to ask me who I was, etc., so that I gave him a true description of how long I had been in town, and what the Lord had done for me since I had been there. When I had done speaking, he said, "Well, my brother, be thankfull for what the Lord have done for you, and ask for more"; and some thing in this way, "Go on to perfection, it is the will of God, even your sanctification. Do you believe these things?" I answered, "I believe in the doctrine of sanctification, but I cannot believe the promise is to me." He asked for what reason, I said, "I am a poor egnarant person, and it is not more than five months since I am justified, and there is a great number of excellent men and women in this town that is usefull to their fellow creatures in praying in publick, visiting the sick, instructing the ignorant, etc., they do not perfess this blessing at all, and how can I expect it, who am good for nothing, and so unworthy and unfit for it."He answered, "All the fitness he requires is to feel the need of him. The promise is for you; only believe, and see the salvation of God," etc. So the discourse I had with him set my soul all of a flame, the blessing seemed to be nigh me. I went home and fell to my knees in prayer. I thought I was just ready to laye hold of it, but unbelief hindered me; but the hope of the blessing being so very nigh, made me rejoice in abundant manner. I was very happy all that day and the next day allso, still in earnest expectation to receive the blessing. But the day following went to a prayer meeting, being on 21 December, where I meet Mr. Hodgson providentely, and after the meeting he asked me to go home to his house with him. I gladly embraced the opportunity, and after a little conversation by his fireside the Lord enabled me to believe in him for full salvation. I immediately told him, saying, "Glory be to God, I do believe." So after we sung and prayed, he said, "You must go in the morning and tell your friends of what theLord have done for you; this blessing may not be given for your sake only, but for others also." So I parted with him, and went home, jumping,[42]and leaping, and praising of God. And the next morning, according to his order, I went from house to house, and told the six or seven familes that I was moste particular acquainted with what the Lord had done for my soul, so that we rejoiced greately together, they farmely believed the report. And I have thought many times since, as if I hard them say, "Now we see God have no respect of persons. This poor ignorant Englishman have been here with us only a few months, have been justified and sanctified, and surely if this blessing is to be attained too, we will never rest until we receive it." So that the preachers and people were all in alarm. In the course of a few days there were new prayer meetings set up upon allmoste every quarter of the town, so that in a very little time theChapel would scarcely hold half of the people, and the Lord begun to pour a lot of his spirit upon the people in a wonderful manner—some crying for mercy, others standing up rejoicing and praising of God that they know their sins was forgiven them; likewayse others rejoicing, saying that God spake the second time, "Be clean," and cast out all their inbred sin; and oh, what a glorious work was there. I know one of my friends going home from a prayer meeting one night, aboute two or three o'clock in the morning, called to another friend's house, knocked him out of bed, and told him that God cleansed him from all unrighteousness. They both joined in prayer, and they wrasled with God until the other experienced the same blessing allso. So that with the noise and brusel[43]of the people the world seemed as it were turned upside down. The Calvinests, Baptists, Universalists, Quakers, with the people of the Establish Church, all seemed to rise up in armsagainst it. Sume said the devel was amongst the methodists, sume one thing, sume another; but the work continued to go on in a glorious manner, so that in the course of aboute two or three months the society increased from aboute 260 to more than 500. It was then good times indeed, praise be to God. I have had the pleasure to see many revivals since, but I think I never saw greater heroes for the work then my dear friends in New York; and I think the people there then was sumething like the primitive Christians, going from house to house in fellowship one with another, declaring the wonderfull works of God. Well, then, I am now going to return to myself. I think it was in the beginning of January, in 1790, when there was a meeting set up caled the "Select Bands," meant for those that was sanctified, and those believers that was pressing hard after it might join if they pleased. So I think there was aboute twenty that perfess sanctification joined, and aboute ten more that was crying after it. I think that was ascool indeed, to hear so many sensible men and women to stand up to tell of their experience from the beginning to the presant, and I never was a greater wonder to myself than to be permitted amongst such people, as I was the youngest in the way and the moste ignorant of them all. So I still continued in all the ordinesses,[44]using not less secreat prayer than when I begun to seek the Lord, my soul moste times in a blaze of prayer.
I think it was in aboute the middle of Jany.when I went one morning to the preachar's house in Co.with Mr. Coopar, where there was sevrall of the leaders, consulting where they should hold prayer meetings, and how they should car[45]them on. I went home to my lodgings, and seating by the fire I begun first to reason, saying, "Everyone is imployed, all have sume thing to do exepting me, and I am good for nothing, no use to society, but as a dead dog in the way."
Well, then, as I was a long time inexpectation to have remittance from home, my money being done, and being in debt about 38 shillings for my board, I said to my creditor, "I have gave up all hope of having any money from home, I muste begin to work aboute sumething, but what or where I know not. If I work in town the people will brand me for a decever, as I have said I have sume property and sent home for sume, so I fear it would much hurt the cause of Christ. I should be glad to have your advice in the case." He answered, "What you owes me is but a trifal, you need not go anywhere to work on my account. You are welcome to stay a month or two longer, perhaps your money will come; and if not, do not make yourself uneasy aboute it." But, however, my friend Hodgson aboute that time went upon Long Island to live, so that I spoke to him for lodgings and went with him, thinking I should be out of the way of censure. So the 12 of June I car'd my little sea bed there, and laid it in one corner of his room as he had nither steed[46]for me;so the next morning, being 13, went to work to a farmer aboute a mile and a half from the little town where I lived, and was sent to the field to hoe Indian corn in company with a negro. The work was very strange unto me, but soon after begun fell into discourse with him, and I rejoiced to hear he belonged to New York society. We worked the forenoon in the field together, where I was pleased and profited with his conversation; the afternoon being hard rain, we worked shifting of straw, etc., in the barn, when come the farmer, as I could not mow hay, etc., paid me my wages, and directed me in my way home to a cousin of his, whom I caled upon, and he told me to come the next morning. Accordingly I did so, who sent me in a field to do the same work, when aboute seven or eight o'clock I was joined with a man to work with me, who was part owner of the field. I worked until breakfast time, when I was caled in to breakfast. I could eate nothing, but drink a littlemilk, the same to dinner. The man that worked with me, as he could do much more work than me, desired me not to work to hard, but by three or four o'clock the blood was running between my fingers, and my body so weak, all moste ready to drop down. The man that was with me asked me no questions consarning who or what was, but a little before we left work went to a publick house and brought me a little rum and water, and desired me to drink again and again. I gladly took a very little of it, and should have taken more, but I thought, as he know me to be a methodist, he did it in order to trap me; but I saw after the man had no such desire, so I gladly received it with thankfullness both to God and him. So I went home rambling, with a tired body, as one that was much intoxicated. The next morning went to the same place again, but wore gloves to hide my bleeding hands; and as their hours was from aboute sun rising, and stop a little to breakfast and dinner, and work until sun set, and as my body was wasted and weakened before withmuch fasting and abstinence, and had hardly dirted my finger scarcely for nearley twenty years before, my body was allmoste ready to crush under the burden. Oh, what a change was this indeed! And as I used before to pray not less than twelve times in a day in secreat, I had no opertunity at that time but a few minuts before I went to work, and find a little house or sume bye corner to breackfast and dinner; and when I got home in the evning, where the family was allmoste ready to go to bed. But I can realy say, to the glory of God, I never was so happy in all my life as I was at thattime. So I staid there two or three days to finish thatjob, and after put in a field to work to myself somedistancefrom the house, and furder[47]from my home, where my employer told me, "You may lodge here if you will." I gladly accepted the offer, and the first night I was took into a room in one end of the farm house and showed my bed, where there was an old negro woman, and a little black boy with her.I looked at my bed, the room, and my company, and I think I never saw a meaner bed in all the course of my life. Stripped of my clothes and turned in, in full expectation that they was going to sleep with me, as I saw no other bed or place else for them. But whilst I was thinking of this, I saw there in one cornar of the room a little ladder, where they both went up together. I was there, I think, three or four days in that field to myself, and I think it was the second day, aboute eleven o'clock, I stood in the field and leaned upon my hoe, and could not tell whether I should drop down under my burthen or stand any longer, the sun allmoste over my head, the wind very little, and took hardely anything to sustain nature. And I worked harder than perhaps I was required to, and that for two reasons—the one for fear that they should know I was a brokengentelman, and if known, I should not have work todo.Theother, I must do justice unto my employer. Wilst I was thus at a stand,calling to the Lordfor help, I saw a light shone brighter then the light of the sun, that filled me with such faith and love, I went on again like a giant refreshed with new wine, praising and blessing of God. Oh, what happy times I had every moment. After I had done the field, he had no work more for me, so I returned home and got work a day or two in a place. I keept all what I feeled to myself, no murmuring, no complaining; but when my dear friends in New York come to hear of it, they agreed together to contribute to my maintenance, and take me off from there, and sent me word to be home one day, as they were coming to see me. Accordingly the day came, when six or seven women come according to promise, and after sume conversation opened their business, but in a very feeling manner. I thanked them, and said "I surely am not too good to work; I have read of sume that have worked for their own bread that I am unworthy to wipe their shoes or snuff their candle." So we passed the afternoon together insinging and praying. I saw them to the boate, where they made me promise not to fail to come to see them every Sunday, and, if possible, Saturday night.
After three or four days, working a day in a place, I went to work with a farmer near the place I worked before, where I went to hoe Indian corn with five or six negero slaves. They behaved unto me very civil indeed, desired me not to work too hard; and as the poorest workman amongst them could far out do me and do my best, but one or other allwayse helped me on, so that I keptcloseup with them. I was, as well as I can remember, with them six or seven days, and that time sleeped in a hay loft.[48]My suffering was not all over, as yet; I could eate very little, and in the morning, when I went to work, allmoste so sore and so tired as in the evning; and I could hardly say I could sleep at all, at times just forget myself only. All this time nither master nor any man ever asked me who or whatI was, they only know I was an English man. They all treated me very civily, and when they had done with me they would ask me my demands. My answer was, "What you please"; so they allwayse gave me the same as another common labourer. Aboute this time I was asked to go with a mason to repair a mill dam; it was to be repaired with turf, and I had a small flatt bottam boat to carry the turf across the pool. So I went with him upon this conditions, if I could do the work, to give me what he pleased. I expected at first he was to be allwayse with me, but just showed me my work and left me to myself, only sume times come to see me, once in the course of two or three days. I then lodged and boarded myself to freind Hodgson's. The place was in a bottam,[49]in mirey ground, and the weather very hot, that the sweat would run over me in large drops, as if any person was heaving water upon me. I think I went to work about sun rising in the morning,I supose aboute five o'clock, stop aboute half hour to breakfast,onlyan hour to dinner, and then work until sun set, I supose aboute seven. My breakfast and dinner was a piece of bread I card with me, and I went to a farm house for a little milk. When my employer come to see me, he would moste times bring with him a little rum and a cup, and as there was a will[50]close by, "Come," said he, "rest yourself a little; let us go and have a drink together." What a change indeed was workd upon me; before time, when I was, as it were, a gentelman, I could not tuch a dram before dinner upon any account. But then how glad and how thankfull I was to receive it. But after the first fortnight or three weeks my bones was become a little more hardened, my sufferings was not alltogether so much, and I have thought many a times when my sufferings was to the greatest, that if it was the will of Providence I would gladly continue in the same all the days of my life. So everySabbath day I went to New York to see my friends in the morning and return back again in the evning.
I think it was in the later end of July when Mr. Dawson, one of them English men I before mentioned that came from the County of Durham, came over to inform me that if I would go home there was a vessel that would be ready in the courseofa week's time, and he was going to England. I thankedhim and went to New York, and asked the advice of my friends. They all, as the voice of one man, said, "Surely this is the Lord's doing; go, the Lord will be with you. We believe that it will not be in the power of man to hurt you, but you must not think it strange if you receive strong tryals from the Captain." The Captain was an English man that come there from the West Indies, and had been in town for, I suppose, six or seven weeks; a man that did profess Religion, and did at times stand up in publick as a preacher, but of Calvinist principles. And as I know him before, I went and asked himfor a passage, then fully believing it was my duty, and I thought I could trust the Lord with my both soul and body. So he was quite agreeable, and then, as I was not acquainted with the man, opened all my mind unto him, notwithstanding for all the hints I had concarning him before. So he asked me if I was a navigator, and if I could work, etc. I answered I had my quadrant and books with me. So I agreed with him to be landed in Mounts Bay, or close to the East of the Lizard Point, and then returned back to Long Island, and told my employer I was going at home. He desired me to stay a few days longer with him to finish the job, to which I consented. And I think aboute the 3 or 4 of august, when we settled our accounts, he paid me very handsomely. I returned to New York. I paid off all my debts and bought myself sevrall littleseafaring clothes for the voyage, and I think I had four pence incoppers left. Well, then, here was a change in deed—fromsuchhard labour to ease again. So I staid there with my dear friends, going from house to houseas before. I think I was allwayse rejoicing and praysing of God, and still using the same self-denial by abstaining from food as before time, and not only then, but allso when I was to my hardest labour. I staid there until the 13 August, when took breakfast with my old and first friend the glasar, and after breakfast he took a dollar out of his pocket and said, "I insist on you to accept of it." I thanked him, and I took it, so went on board, and that day got to an anchor in Sandyhook, and the next morn sailed for England with a fair wind and fair weather. The vessel was a small sloop aboute 40 tons,[51]bought by the Captain then in New York, but the papars draw'd in the mate's name, under cover him being an American. The cargo was coopers' timber, and the whole crew was the Captain, mate, two boys, Mr. Dawson, and myself. I keept one watch with the biggest boy, I suppose aboute 16 or 17 years old; and the mate keept the other watch with the other boy, I suppose aboute 13 or 14 year old. Wewas not more then a day or two at sea until Satan begun to rage and roar. The Captain set his face against me. Try my best I could do nothing to please him. He pretended to know all things, but did hardly know anything of the sea or business. Then I thought of what I was told by my friends in New York, so that I was not the leaste disappointed. I acted in the capacity of steward and as cabin boy, to bring all things to his hand as a gentelman, and if there were anything short I stayed without it; so that I had plenty to do to try to please him, besides keep my regular watch on deck night and day. We had a fair wind until we came upon the banks of Newfoundland. Then the wind took us ahead and blow fresh; for a little time the vessel made some water upon one tack. He said, "We will bear up for Boston." I think, for all he was a professor of Religion, I never saw a man more afraid of his life in all my life. I thought that if we put in to Boston I never should fetch home in that vessel.I opposed him, and said, "There is no danger, I will engage to keep the pump in my watch." Mr. Dawson said, "I will keep it in the other," tho' he know nothing of the sea. The mate then joined us, and amongst us all gained our point, so that soon after we had a fair wind again.
We had moste times publick prayers in the morning, sume times Mr. Dawson and sume times him, but still continued with his face set against me, and poor Mr. Dawson dare not speak one word in my favour, as he was full so much afraid of him as I was. And the two poor boys, I think in the hardness of my times it never was in my power to treat two dogs as he treated them. So one day, after we come into soundings, I said, "The Land's End bears so and so, it is time for you to alter your course if you land me there." So as he pretended to keep a reckning he said to the contrary, but never let us see his journal, the mate and me, within two or three miles of each other,[52]so that I thought he had no mindto land me in the Mounts Bay, according to promise, the weather being fair. Saw a sail, and as it was not the first time by many, said to me, as I had the helm, "Bear down to speak with him." I did so. He said, "Keep her so and so." I said, "Sir, if you keep her so, you never will speak with him." He begun to belch out, "What is that to thee? I say keep her so." So as I had given up all hope of being landed there, I thought it was time to take a little courage. I left go the helm, and said, "Keep her so your self, if you please," and I immediately went below and turned in in my cabin. In the course of a little time he came down and said sume thing to me in a very surly manner. I answered, "Sir, you have not behaved unto me as a man since I have been with you. I have answered every end I engaged with you for, and much more so, and now I see you are entirely off your word with me, as you know you was to land me in the Mounts Bay, or a little to the East of the Lizard." He begun to bale out, "Thoudoste profess the spirit of Christe, but thou haste the spirit of the devil," and so on in a great rage, my poor friend Dawson presant fearing and trembling but dare not speak one word; and I have thought that good man suffered during the voyage much more on my account than I did myself. So I did not render railing for railing, said nothing, or very little more. This was in the evning, and in the course of aboute half hour after, when he come to himself, he came to me and said in a very good humour, "I should be glad if you would turn out and come on deck, I wants to speak with you." So he took me forward on the bow out of the sight and hearing of any person, and said sumething to this purpose: "I hope you'll think nothing of all that is past, and I am going to tell you why I cannot be to my word with you to land you in the Mounts Bay. I sarved my time to a hatter in London, and as there was a brig there loaden with hats and other goods, I took her away under the pretence of being supercargo, etc., unknownto the owners. I sold the vessel and cargo in the West Indies, bought the sloop you see me come to New York in, sold that sloop there, and bought what we are in at present. I told you and others I was bound to London, but I meant to go to Dunkerk and send for my wife to London. I mean to sell my cargo and then to return to New York again, for if I am known in any part of England I shall be apprehended and hanged. So now lett me beg you to keep it a secret. And I have the favour likewayse, as you know there is no draft for the Channel on board, I knows nothing of the Channel, and the mate quite unacquainted, let me beg you to do your best to car the vessel to Dunkerk." I answered, "I will do everything in my powar," etc. These was the tener of our discourse, etc. So that when he had finished, I thought I was allmoste lost in wonder and astonishement. I thought my case was bad, but his tenthousands times worse. So I turned to work again with a willing mind, knowing nothing shouldhappen unto me against the knowledge of God, nither without his permision, and I believed all things should work together for my good, and so went on my way, rejoicing and praising of God.
The weather still very fair and a fair wind. The next morning saw the Start Point, and so made the best of our way up Channel. When came a little to the west of Folston,[53]Mr. Dawson was put onshore, to go to London in order to fetch the Captns.wife to him to Dunkerk, and soon after fell in with a fleet of West Indiamen, with sevral cutters and frigats, with their boats out, bring them to to press their men, as at that time there was a little quarrel between the Spanyards and English. We passed through them all with our American coulers set, expecting to be brought to every moment; and as I was the only Englishman onboard, the Captn.advised me to hide myself in the bread locker. But I thought, if they had come on board and found me, I must be gone; so I thought if it wasthe will of Providence that I should be pressed, let his will be done; and I thought if they should come on board and ask me if I was an Englishman, I should say nothing to the contrary. That if I was stationed on the tops, or anywhere else, God would be with me, and all things should work together for my good. The same day, aboute three or four o'clock, got close in to Calais, where we took a pilot for Dunkerk the same evning, on the 16 September in '90. And as we went up the harbar I saw in a brig's starn, I think, the "Bettsey, Truro." I thought if there was any place caled by that name out of Cornwal, but the next day, as the Captn.and I was so great he could then not go onshore without me, neither eate nor drink without me, I was then with him as it were all and in all. It was a great chainge indeed, whether through fear or love I know not. So the next day I, as a complement, asked him to go on board with me to see what the brig was. So it proved to be from Truro, from Petersborg, loaden with hemp and iron, therewind bound, and bound to Daniel's Point[54]the first fair wind; and as I did not want to make myself known unto him as an Englishman, I thought I would lett him know that I know some jentelmen at Falmouth, and after a little discourse sume in Penzance; so after a while, he naming of one and another until he come home to our family, and added, "Poor felows, they have had a great many and very great misfortings of late years. Harry, poor felow, lost a valuable lugger, with a valuable cargo, and was obliged to leave his Country, being taken with sume manawar's boat. I saw him in Leghorn, dined and supped with him, and from there he went to America. I have not heard anything concarning him since; whether he is dead or alive, I know not, poor felow." So at laste I said, "I am the man, and I desire the favour of you to give me a passage home." He stared like a man frightened, and said, "I never saw such chainge on any man in my life, and I had no more knoledge of you no morethen if I never saw you. Anything in my powar I will gladly do for you. Do you want money, or anything else? You'l make free with me. I am sorry I cannot take you to sleep with me, as the cabin is full of hemp, etc. Be not afraid of being pressed, as all my men is protected, but you shall not be pressed unless they press me also." Here I was loste in wonder, love, and praise, seeing how I was presarved the day before from a manofwar, and I looked upon this as if the Lord had worked a merical to send the brig there as if it was on purpose for me.
The Captn.used that trade for sume time, but never put into any harbour in France before, but now struck upon a sand bank, and put in there to be repeared, as he had receved sume damage, etc. Well, then I could but only wonder and adore the goodness of God, shorley his paths is in the deep and his ways past finding out. So then I returned again to my little sloop. I staid in Dunkerk eleven days, then sailed for England, arrived at Daniel's Point the1 Octr.The same night, aboute nine o'clock, arrived home to Kenneggy,[55]to Br.Charles's. So I was received as one rison from the dead, as they know nothing of my coming home, nither had heard from me for aboute twelve months. So after a little I related what cause I had to come, and after I had settled my business I was minding[56]to return to New York again. He said, "I will send for our brothers in the morning, and praps we may find sumething other wayse." So earley in the morning they come, and said, "If you go to America again we shall never see you more; we think you may stay at home in safety, there is no person will meddle with you, but we advise you first to go aboute this neighberhood as publick as you please, where you are well known, but shun the towns, and after a few days there will no person take notice of you."
I very gladly consented to what they said, this being on saturday. First went to the King's Cove to see the Cove boys,and for all I was not more than aboute two years from them, not one of them know me until they heard me speak. The next morning being the sabbath, went to Trevean[57]to preaching, where I had a blessed time indeed. After preching I was surounded with allmoste all the congregation. Every one glad to see me, but in particular the methodists, as they heard before that there was a chainge of mind passed upon me. This made me to wonder and adore the goodness of God unto me, as I did not expect to see any person when I came home but only my own family. This was a wonder indeed to think I was once more returned to my native country, amongse my own family, friends, and the people of God. Well, then, after atending the preaching and meetings a few times was desired to give out a hymn and speak in prayer, but at first I refused, as I did not exercise in that way before I come home, only at times I was sent to visit the sick with Father Cooper when hecould not attend himself. So I refused, but after suffered great pain of mind, so that at laste I took up the cross with much fear and trembling, and immediately went aboute like a town crier, telling the people what the Lord had done for my soul.
See what a chainge was here taken place; a little while before labouring in the fields with the poor negroes, and used like a slave, and looked upon with contempt on the greatest part of my passage home; so now I had nothing to do with the world, all things was provided for me, so that in a little time the congregation begin to increase greately, and prayer meetings set on in many defrant places; so, as far as I can remember, in the course of eight or nine weeks there was a great number of men, women, and children converted. Our meeting seem to be all in confusion, sume praying, sume singing, sume crying, sume praising and blessing of God. We have staid in the house sume times from twelve until three o'clock in the morning. My heart at that time, with every powar ofmy soul, was fully engaged in the work; one time in particular, I trust I shall never for get it, in prayer in the after meeting, I think Mr. Wacktings was the preacher, whether in the body or out of the body I could harely tell. It was just the same as it was in New York, and car'd on in the same manner. At the first sume of the old members would not owned it to be of God, as it was so much out of the comman way, wilst many others put their shoulders to the work, and, praise be to God, aboute this time I do remember my soul through mercy was got just in the same tune as it was in New York. I declard at that time to sevral old members consarning my thoughts. Sume would give me great incoregement, wilst other would try to drive me back. I mentioned this, if ever this should be published, which in all probability it will not, for thou, my young Reader, to take care who to declare thy mind to, for it is not evry old prefessor that knoweth moste of the things of God, but in the genral him who's soul is most alive to God. Soas I was but as a babe in the way, I still wanted to be teached in the ways of God, and I fell in company with John Bettens, to whom I opened my mind freely. I have thought many times since I never found such faith, no, not in all the men I ever talked with. Well, then, I was not confined to Trevean house only, but I went aboute all through the country. But no place where I was asked where the housen was not full of people, and sume would not contain all the people. Shorley I was a wonder to myself, and in genral I found great freedom to speak to the people in my simple way. I remember once I went about eight or nine miles from home, and as I came to the door where I was expected, a young man came out and said, "Are you Captain Harry Carter?" I answered, "My name is Henry Carter." He said, "We have been expecting of you, for it is given out for you to preach to-night." When I heard of the name preach, I was struck with such fear and trembling, I could not tel whether it was best to return home againor stay there. So I went in, and the good man received me very kindly, and when the time came took me to the chaple, where it was so full the people could harley stand. Sume that know nothing of preaching caled it preaching, but I never presumed to take a text, but laid a little foundation as a text in disguise, so that I had room to ramble. But it was not for what I could say only that the housen was so full of people, but it was like the Jews of old, came not to see Jesus only, but Lazreth[58]also. Where I was not known before, they heard of me, and they believed that there was a great chainge upon me. I think the people believed I was really what I professed to be, but many times after I had been speaking, so dejected in my own mind, wishing that I may stand up no more, for it was seldam a day passed but what I had doubts whether I was cal'd or not, and I was much afraid to run before I was sent. And likewayse the cross was so great, I have often[59]thought ifthe people knew what I suffered, they never would ask me to exercise in that way at all. Oh, how I did tremble and sweat just as the time were come. Well, then, still the work of God continued to go on in Trevean society, and lively meetings all through this neighberhood.
I think it was in Febury, in 1791, or a little before, when the work in Trevean begun in sume degree to sease, but still blessed times; and I think it was in the later end of March or the begining of April I was sent for by a great man of this neighberhood, he wanted to speak with me. Accordingly I went, and the business was as follows—saying, "I was in Helston a such a day in company with three jentelmen" (mentioned their names); "they all ware black coats. Looking out through the window, a methodist preacher went up street. One said, 'There is a methodist prechar.' Another answerd, 'I wonder how Harry Carter goes aboute so publick apreching and Law[60]against him; I wonder how he is not aprended and taken.'So I sent for you, as I fear they are brewing of mischief against you." "Well, sir," said I, "what do you think I am best to do?" He said, "I know they cannot hurt you no further then if you are taken you may suffer a long time in prison, and it may cost you a good deal of money, etc. I think you are better, to prevent danger, to return to America again." This was the tenar of his advice, and added, "If you go there I will give you, as Ithinkhe called it, a lett of recomedation from Lord ——, which, I think, may be very usefull to you, or anything else in my powar shall not be wanting." And as the jent was well acquainted with our family, I dined with him, and he brought me aboute a mile in my way home, so I parted with him, fully determning in my own mind to soon see my dear friends in New York again. So I told my brothers what the news was, and that I was meaning to take the jent's advice. They answered, "If you go to America we never shall see you no more. We are meaning to car on a little tradein Roscoff in the brandy and gin way, and if you will go there you'l be as safe there as in America; likewayse, we shall pay you for your comision, and you car on a little business for your self, if you please." So that with prayer and supplication I made my request known unto God. I still continued to walk in the same rigrous selfdenial as before, abstainingfrom food, etc. Well, then, with much fear and trembling I concluded to go. The greatest tryal I had aboute going, I know there was no religious people there, and sume times in fears I should be lead away into the world again. I know I was going un slepry ground, but, glory be to God, I know his grace was sufficient for me. So at the 19 of April, in '91, I saild in an open boat from the King's Cove, in company with a merchant that had business there, so that after fifteen hours' passage arived there very safe, still in the same frame of mind. I lodged at a publick house, I think, two days, and as the merchant had business to Morlaix, desired me to go with him, where I staid there abouteten or twelve days, and returned again back to Roscoff. I keept myself to myself as much as posable. Well, then, I went to privat lodgings and eate and drunk to myself; and as I had no business to do, I was allmoste all the time to myself day and night, still walking in the sameself denial as first. Iwould notallow myself but four hours in bed, so continued, as well as I think, for six or seven days, but I found I had not sleep enough, as aboute noon I have fallen asleep upon the book, so I added a little longer time. I have often times since thought how dead I was then to all below. There was a house burned under the same roof where I lodged little before, and I had to go in and out right before the same house; and after I was there aboute a furtnight I hard sume people talking aboute the dredfull fire, and what great loste sume had sustained. I asked, "What fire?" They said, "Next door." I made no other answer, for I was really ashamed; what they thought of me I know not. So after I looked, and saw moste of the walls standin,but without windows and door, and the walls smoked quite black.
Well, then, I did not pray in secret less than I did before, I suppose never less than ten times in a day, and in fore and afternoon walked a little out of town in so solitary place as I could find, out of sight of all men. In genral I went on the cleavs,[61]wher no eye saw me, and there sing, that I may be heard for I supose a mile distance, and pass, I think, aboute two hours and half fore noon and after noon in reading, praying, singing, and then return home. Aboute this time I made a linen girdle to go aboute my loins inside my shirt.Tied ittite—I thought I might be able to live uponless foodand my spiritwould be more vigorous in the wayse of good. I continued on for, as I think, aboute two days, found it quite disagrable, and so left it off. I passed allmoste all my time to myself; in my going out and coming in I went the byest roads, because I wanted to see no person; and if I meet any personin the way, it was a great cross to me to enter in to any conversation more than just the time of the day, for fear to obstroct my communan with God. I think then I watched over all my thoughts as well as words and acktens.[62]I think there did not the least thought pass my mind unperseved; my mind then was like a fisherman's net, I sav'd the good but heaved away the bad.
Well, then, I went on still in this way until I think aboute the beginning of August, when I went on with a little business in the shop way, and aboute the same time Captain B. came there, an old acquaintance of mine, being the first Captain I sailed with, a man of what we calls good morels. I meet him one Sabbath morning as I was walking out, and after a little conversation I said, "This is a poor place for the publick worship of God; if I was at home now I should be at Trevean preaching." He answered, "Why don't you stand up here and say something to the people?" So as I thought he was making game of me, Ianswered, "Who will hear me?" He said, "I will hear you, and I suppose most of the English men in town." So the next Sabbath morning meet with him again on nearly the same ground. He repeated unto me nearley the same thing again, saying, "All the English in town will gladly hear you," or to that purpose. So then I thought he was in earnest, and I left him with much fear and trembling, and immediately went to ask counsel from the mouth of the Lord, so that spent the remainder of that fore noon in pray and supplication, and for fear I should run before I was sent, I set this as a mark, that after diner I would go on the pier, and if I meet first a such a man, who was master of one of the vessels that was there, I should perpose the matter unto him, and if agreable, I should shorly think it to be the will of God consarning me. So aboute one o'clock I roase up from my knees and went on the pier, and the first man I meet with was the very same man, so with much fear and trembling I opened the business unto him of what Captain B. and I was talkingof. He readily replyed, "I'll come, and I will tell all the people of it, I suppose they will all come." So him and me perposed the time of meeting, I think it was four o'clock. So he, like a town cryar, beat the alarm, and after I left him, oh, how my poorhead wasdestracted, a suchpoor ignorantsoul as I was to take such a thing upon me; shorley I shall be a by word and reproach with the French, and a mocking and lafing stock to all the English. And another was, what can I say to the people? as when I was at home there was mornars to comfart, weak belevers to build up, sanctification to impress upon the people's minds, and now onlysinners, etc., to talk to. So that my poor mind was so full of distraction I could harly tell what to do; but as I had gone so far as to perpose it, I could not go from it. Well, then, according to the time perposed, the same afternoon, in came Captain B. with I suppose about twenty or thirty, I suppose nearly all the Inglish men in the town, took off their hats, and seat themselves down, so that I begun to tremble andsweat, I could scarcely hold the hymn book in both hands. Gave out a verse, and begun to sing myself, and praise be to God, before I sung the second verse I found life coming, and before I went to prayer the cross was all gone, so that I found very great liberty in prayer; so that when I roase from my knees I was surprised to see so many hard harts to their knees, so that I found much curage to go on in my poor simple way. I found uncoman degree of liberty, and the people all listoned with the greatest attention, and after I dismised the people with singing and prayer. So after they were gone, I was still jealous that they would turn what I said into ridicule, and as I had a back window that I could see the greatest part of the pier, watched them, and they all went on board as quiat as Christians of the first magnitude might be expected. The Lord doth only know if there was any good done or not. So I continued for eight or nine months every night when there was Englishmen there. I think it was in the beginning of themonth of may '92, when three of my brother's children come to life with me, Fras., Henry, and Joanna Carter, and staid with me until the beginning of Septr., when I was like a hermit to myself as before. I think it was in the beginning of Octr.when three large cuttars, Captain Scott one of them, came in here wind bound from Guarnsey; and as I went into the house on sume buisiness where they put up to, saw one of their sailors that did formely sail with me. I asked him to come to my house, sayin I could treate him with a glass of grogg, and if them three or four men that was presant would come with him, I should be glad to see them also. That was in the evning. I was not home as I think more than fifteen or twenty minits until he came in with four or five with him, and in a few minits after allmoste the house full with their three Captains. Then I thought what they come for, and as they took me in surprise, as I had not the least thoughts to say anything, I begun to tremble and run upstairs to call for help from the Lord. I suppose I might have been thereeight or ten minits, and as I was coming down I meet one in the stairs, saying, "If you don't come down the people will all be gone." So with much trembling and sweating I took the Hymn Book and begun to sing to myself, as I did the first time. I found great liberty in prayer, and after thundred out the tretnings, cryed aloude, spar'd not. They all behaved very well, seemed to listen with great atention. So after we concluded the meeting, I asked the Captains and sume of the men to seat down, so they stayed with sume more of their people, I suppose more than an hour, all very seryous, no laffing, no trifling conversation. They took sume thing to drink, shook hands, and wished good night. Prayse be to God, I was shorly a wonder to myself in deed. So the next morning him that had sailed with me before come in laffing, saying one of his shepmates told him that how could that ould man know his thoughts, for he told him allmoste all that ever he did in his life. I think they sailed the next day, and two of them being in company in a gale of wind, one of them disapeared, and have never been heard of since. Captain Scott showed me great kindness ever after; he sent a luggar there after to be laid up, with, I think, six or eight men on board, who ordered them to take all what they wanted of me, and likewayse recemended all his friends unto me for what they wanted.
Well, then, aboute the later end of Novr.I got a passage to come home not only to see my family friends, but my spiritual friends also. I can still see, glory be to God, I was still hungring and thirsting after him. I thought before I come home, if I could be permitted to come into preaching housen dors, I should be very happy, but praise be to God, I had rather the right hand of felowship given me, the preaching houses full of people where I was expected, as before. I staid at home until 24 Decr., and as the war seemed to be near at hand between the Franch and Inglish, inbarked at Coverack, on board Captain R. John's. I had a blessed time in company with my dear freinds there, two or three daywind bound. Arived at Roscoff, Christmas day in the morning, 1 Jany.1793, oh, how short I comes in all things of what I would wish or ought[63]to have been. There was no talk of war when I arived there, all was quiat as when I left the place. I found my house, etc., just as I left it. I was then to myself as before, I went home like a hermat or a king blessing and praising of God. I continued to walk in the same self-denial. I sent off moste of my goods to Gurnsey, sold sume there, and keept sume, what the law would alow me to bring home, as I was promised that a vessel should be sent to bring me home. So I think Feby.2[64]there was an embargo lade on all English vessels, and war declard between the boath Kingdoms. I think it was in the latter end of March when I was sent to Morlaix as a prisnor, not close confined, but to apear every morning to the town house to sine my name. I was there nine or ten days, when I was ordered back to Roscoff again.Things at that time looked very gloomey, but glory be to God, I was not the lease afraid of all the lyons in France. I could trust boath soul and body in the hands of my Redemer, no mormring, no complaining, the language of my heart was continualy, "Good is the will of the Lord, may thy will be done." I staid in Roscoff nine or ten days, when I was ordered again to Morlaix in company with Mr. and Mrs.McCullockand Mr.Clansie. I think in the beginning of May was sent back again to Roscoff, Mr. M. and Mr. C. in Roscoff the same time, where we was all obliged to go to the town house every day to sine our names. So continued untel the beginning of August, when we got a passport in order to come home. In the course of this time, wilst in Morlaix, the same as at Roscoff, went to privat lodgings. Walking still in the same rigrous selfdenial, etc. So as there was no other way for us to come home, M. Macculloh bought a small vessel, aboute 40 tons, and boute the seven or eight hauled the vessel out in the Sadie Rock Road, andgot all things on board ready for sea, when there was orders from the town house with a corvet's armed boat, ordered us in to the pier again. And this was Provedence indeed. Our whole crew consist as follows: Mr. Macculloh was a jentleman marchant, lived in that town many years before, a man of good property, etc.; Mrs. Macculloh, two sons, one a man, the other aboute twelve years old, one daughter, a young lady aboute eighteen or twenty years old, one sarvant man, two sarvant maidens, Mr. Clansice, and myself, ten in number in all. And we concluded before, that the old jentlman and me was all the sailors, there was not one of the other eight that in no case could help themselves. The four females was sent onshore to Mr. M.'s house, all the rest of us keept on board with a gard of soldars for three days and three nights, the wind blowing very hard tho' fair. This vessel was condemed for sea for sume time before, so that in the cource of three days we had time to overhaul her, and I think I may safely say thatthere was scores of graving pieces in her not bigger then a man's hand; sume of the timbrs so rotton, that one might pick them off with one's fingers, the sails, masts, etc., in the like state. We had hard rain sume part of that three days, where we was so wett below nearley as upon deck. The old jentleman have told me many times since, saying it was Providence prevented us from sailing, had we sailed then we should all be no more. You may be ready to ask, Why did we expose ourselves to so much dainger? I answer, "This was the third pasport, and all conterdicted, and glad to git out of the mouths of the lyons, as there was no other way." So we was all sent on shore to Mr. M.'s house with a gard of soldars to be keept at the dore, and the 15 of August, 1793, all march'd to St. Paul's with a gard of soldars. I lodged and boarded in the house with Mr. and Mrs. M., where I had a good room and bed to sleep in, and a large garden to walk in. Now, I am going to inform you of sume of thedevices of Satan. One evning, whilst at suppar, seating by the side of Mr. M., when it was sugested to my mind the same as ifonewas to speak to my outward ear blasfamys thoughts against my dear friend Mr. M. At first it struck me all of alarm. Upon reflection I was shore they were not my thoughts, for at that time, and before then, I know I never loved my own father bettar, and after, when the gulenteen[65]begun to work, I have thought many a times, should him be condemned, I would gladely die in his steed. So after suppar took a walk in the gardon as usual, where I begun to reason, saying, "Shorley if I was saved from inbred sin, I should not feel such ugley thoughts as these and then begin to doubt." But praise be unto God, he did not leve me to doubt for harley a moment, but sent me down the Comfartar, so that all doubts vanished away in a moment. So I went to seat in the summar house, and begun to sing, that I suppose that Imight be heard all over the town. I suppose I shall never forgett that evning wilst in time, how my poorsoul was delighted in God my Savour. Still went on in the same rigrous selfdenial, but I could not fast then for fear to be taken notice of with the family. I staid there until the 12 or 13 September, 1793, when sume officers came, sent by the town house; so after they examined us for money and papars, took us to the Town House, and after they measured our height, and asked us many foolish questions, took us to a prison caled the "Retreat," in the same town. We arived there a little after night, were all of us showed our apartment to lodge in. I had a nice little room to myself like a king. Here was another chainge, but a happy one, the language of my heart was, "Good is the will of the Lord, may Thy will be done." Nor could I help singing that night alowd when I went into bed. We all had our pervision sent from the House we lodged before, and after four or five days past, we was joined by sevral French gent. andlades, and in aboute fourteen or fifteen days there was two armed horsemen sent in the preson to take Mr. and Mrs. M. from us, no person knowing where they were to be sent, but supposed they were to be sent to a small uninhabited island, a little off Brest harbar, and there to be starved to death. Oh, what tears and cries was there with their little famely and many others. It was seldom I could shed tears, then Idid plenty, and after dried up my tears and cheard myself up, and then went in to his room, where I found him alone packing up his clothes, etc. I sat myself down in silance I supose for aboute ten minutes without one word; whether him or me spoak first, I know not, but he said in his usual plesant way to this purpas, "I fear not what man can do unto me. I can trust in Providence and not be afraid," which set my heart all on fire with love; I could give them both up unto God, shorley beleving I should see them again. The remainder of the day was a solam day unto me in deed, but a day of mourning through the whole house; after this there did seldama day pass but what sume Jentmen and Ladis was brought to join us, and in the beginning of Nov. 1793 the lady I boarded with and sume of her famely was brought to us. I used sett times for reading, praying, walking, and thinking, as I did before when I was at liberty, and keept allmoste all the time to myself, I went to bed aboute ten or half past, and got up as soon as I could see daylight in the morning; and as the weather begun to alter, juste to run in the garden aboute half hour in the fore noon, and the same in the after noon. At first the people thought I was ither a natural fool or else mad, but my friend Clansie gave them an account of what kind of being I was. Aboute this time I had word brought me, that all my goodsI leftin Roscoff was condemed and sold, I suppose they might have been to the amount of £40. I rejoiced with great joy when I heard of it, saying the Lord's will be done, knowing all things should work twogether for good. It apears clearley to me since that my will was wholy swallowed up inthe will of God; I think I was then shorley so dead to this world as ever I shall be. Well, then, as the people begin to increase more and more evry day, Mr. Clansice came with me in my little room. At first it was a great cross to me, but soon after, the oftener I saw him the better, far bettar I likt him, he ackted like a father, a brother, my tuter, my sarvant. Glory be to God for such dear frends. He was a young jentelman merchant, a man of great natural abilities, and I suppose brought up in the first scools in Christendom. I knew his father and him from a child before, but was little acquainted with him before we became prisonars together, and I have thought many times since that there was not in the whole world two such men as Mr. M. and he. About the 3 or 4 of Decr.1793 a gard of soldars came into the prison and took with them my dear friend C., Mr. T. Maccull, with a great number of French gintelemen and ladis, so there was none of my family left, but Miss M. her dear little brother, and the two sarvant maidens. I think such a scene as that Inever saw in all my life. I suppose there was not one dry face in all the house,eitherwith men or whimin. There was not onepersonthat know where they were to be sent to, but supposed they were all to be sent upon the same Island with Mr. and Mrs. M., and there to be starved to death. This was a day of mourning and lamentation indeed. I do not know that I shed one tear, tho' it was a solamn day with me, still the language of my heart was, "Good is the will of the Lord, may the Lord's will be done." But the tryal was so great, the same as tearing the flesh from the bones.
Aboute the 6 Decr.1793, when a gard of soldars came to the preson, and took away I suppose between thirty and forty prisnors, and me one of them, where to go we knew not; but Provedence enterfered, and worked upon a French jintelman's mind, so that he took Miss Maccuh.and her little brother, with the two maidens, to his own house, so that they had all liberty to walk the town when they pleased. This was the cause of great joy and gladness unto me. There wasa few horses brought for the old and infarm to ride—two, which one was put in my hands, and ordered to ride it, with a charge to keep it to myself. We had aboute twelve French miles to go, so we arived to Morlaex just after night, where, to my agreable surprise, found dear C., Mr. T. M., and sume jintn.of Roscow, whome I know before. We rejoiced greately together, and then they gavean account of Mr. and Mrs. Maccuh.; they was putfromSt. Paul's to a town caled Landernau, aboute twenty miles from St.Paul's, in to a crimnal gaol, where the first night had nothing to lye on but a little short dirty straw, and without one farding[66]of money with them, and not one person in the town that they were acquainted with, but in the morning was visited with sume jintn.and lades, who suplyed them with a bed, and brought them pervisian. So we rejoiced greately together in telling and hearing. Here was a blessed chainge again to me, to once more to be with my dear family at home again. Thisplace we was now in was a jentleman's house, all the family thrust out and put into other prisons, and this house made a prison of. The house was not large, but it was full of people below and aloft. I sleept in one room, where there was fourteen beds, and there could not find the least cornar to retire to myself but a little house. At that time it was very cold, but I did not mind that. I could not stay there long to a time, distorbed with one or other, as there was sixty or seventy presoners there. I had not one farding of money, nor nither of our family, but the law or rule was, by the order of the Convention, for the rich to maintain the poor. So I think I was maintained by the publick for two days, when my friend C. got credit for himself and me, from a tavarn close by. What a great chainge this was again, all the day long in nothing but a discord and noise. What a mercy it was I was not drawed away by the multitude to do evil. I can see now at this moment how I improved my time, how prechas every moment was, I had allwayse my book inmy pocket ready to hand if I could find any place to seat, and sume times, when I could find no place to seat, stand to read. All the people very civil to me, and in the beginning many of them introduced their conversation; but I did not find it profatable, it sarved to block the mind from prayer. Tho' I could understand and speak French on moste common subjects, I soon gave them to think I know little or nothing, so by that means I saved myself from a great deal of empty chatchat, so by that means pass allmoste whole days, sume times without speaking very little. I have often heard sume of the French gentlemen speaking very high thing in my favour one to another, not knowing I could understand them, and I think it had allwayse this efect to humble me as in to the dust before God and before man. I was still watching over all my thoughts with all my words and actions. I do realy now beleve that there did not one thought pass through my mind unperseved in all my waking moments, still living as under the immediate eye of God,walking in the broad light of his countanance from moment to moment. I had left of drinking of water from the year of '89 in America, but there was a well close by the backdoor. I hadatumblar glass where I went sume times, andfilled aglass with water, and look at it again and again. Oh, how my heart would burn with love and thankfulness to God. Aboute a week after I was there, I had a book given me by a French gent that spoak English, caled "The Sinner's Guide," pen'd by a Spanyard, but translated in English. The name of the gent.that gave it me was Mr. Lereu, which proved a great blessing to me indeed.