EnterDick.
EnterDick.
Dick, do you know any of the servants at Sir George Touchwood's?
Dick.Yes, Sir; I knows the Groom, and one of the House-maids: for the matter-o'-that, she's my own Cousin; and it was my Mother that holp'd her to the place.
Court.Do you know Lady Frances's Maid?
Dick.I can't say as how I know she.
Court.Do you know Sir George's Valet?
Dick.No, Sir; but Sally is very thick with Mr. Gibson, Sir George's Gentleman.
Court.Then go there directly, and employ Sally to discover whether her Master goes to Lady Brilliant's this evening; and, if he does, the name of the shop that sold his Habit.
Dick.Yes, Sir.
Court.Be exact in your intelligence, and come to me at Boodle's: [ExitDick.] If I cannot otherwise succeed, I'll beguile her as Jove did Alcmena, in the shape of her Husband. The possession of so fine a Woman—the triumph over Saville, are each a sufficient motive; and united, they shall be resistless.
[ExitCourtall.
SCENE III.——The Street.EnterSaville.
SCENE III.——The Street.EnterSaville.
Sav.The air has recover'd me! What have I been doing! Perhaps my petulance may be the cause ofherruin, whose honour I asserted:—his vanity is piqued;—and where Women are concerned, Courtall can be a villain.
EnterDick.Bows, and passes hastily.
EnterDick.Bows, and passes hastily.
Ha! that's his Servant!——Dick!
Dick.[returning] Sir.
Sav.Where are you going, Dick?
Dick.Going! I am going, Sir, where my Master sent me.
Sav.Well answer'd;—but I have a particular reason for my enquiry, and you must tell me.
Dick.Why then, Sir, I am going to call upon a Cousin of mine, that lives at Sir George Touchwood's.
Sav.Very well.—There, [gives him money] you must make your Cousin drink my health.—What are you going about?
Dick.Why, Sir, I believe 'tis no harm, or elseways I am sure I would not blab.—I am only going to ax if Sir George goes to the Masquerade to-night, and what Dress he wears.
Sav.Enough! Now, Dick, if you will call at my lodgings in your way back, and acquaint me with your Cousin's intelligence, I'll double the trifle I have given you.
Dick.Bless your honour, I'll call——never fear.
[ExitDick.
Sav.Surely the occasion may justify the means:—'tis doubly my duty to be Lady Frances's Protector. Courtall, I see, is planning an artful scheme; but Saville shall out-plot him.
[ExitSaville.
SCENE IV.——Sir George Touchwood's.EnterSir GeorgeandVillers.
SCENE IV.——Sir George Touchwood's.EnterSir GeorgeandVillers.
Vill.For shame, Sir George! you have left Lady Frances in tears.—How can you afflict her?
Sir Geo.'Tis I that am afflicted;—my dream of happiness is over.—Lady Frances and I are disunited.
Vill.The Devil! Why, you have been in town but ten days: she can have made no acquaintance for a Commons affair yet.
Sir Geo.Pho! 'tis our minds that are disunited: she no longer places her whole delight in me; she has yielded herself up to the world!
Vill.Yielded herself up to the World! Why did you not bring her to town in a Cage? Then she might have taken a peep at the World!—But, after all, what has the World done? A twelvemonth since you was the gayest fellow in it:—If any body ask'd who dresses best?—Sir George Touchwood.—Who is the most gallant Man? Sir George Touchwood.—Who is the most wedded to Amusement and Dissipation? Sir George Touchwood.—And now Sir George is metamorphosed into a sour Censor; and talks of Fashionable Life with as much bitterness, as the old crabbed Fellow in Rome.
Sir Geo.The moment I became possessed of such a jewel as Lady Frances, every thing wore a different complexion: that Society in which I liv'd with so muchéclat, became the object of my terror; and I think of the manners of Polite Life, as I do of the atmosphere of a Pest-house.—My Wife is already infected; she was set upon this morning by Maids, Widows, and Bachelors, who carried her off in triumph, in spite of my displeasure.
Vill.Aye, to be sure; there would have been no triumph in the case, if you had not oppos'd it:—but I have heard the whole story from Mrs. Racket; and I assure you, Lady Frances didn't enjoy the morning at all;—she wish'd for you fifty times.
Sir Geo.Indeed! Are you sure of that?
Vill.Perfectly sure.
Sir Geo.I wish I had known it:——my uneasiness at dinner was occasioned by very different ideas.
Vill.Here then she comes, to receive your apology; but if she is true Woman, her displeasure will rise in proportion to your contrition;—and till you grow careless about her pardon, she won't grant it:——however, I'll leave you.——Matrimonial Duets are seldom set in the style I like.
[ExitVillers.
Enter LadyFrances.
Enter LadyFrances.
Sir Geo.The sweet sorrow that glitters in these eyes, I cannot bear (embracing her). Look chearfully, you Rogue.
Lady Fran.I cannot look otherwise, if you are pleas'd with me.
Sir Geo.Well, Fanny, to-day you made yourentréein the Fashionable World; tell me honestly the impressions you receiv'd.
Lady Fran.Indeed, Sir George, I was so hurried from place to place, that I had not time to find out what my impressions were.
Sir Geo.That's the very spirit of the life you have chosen.
Lady Fran.Every body about me seem'd happy—but every body seem'd in a hurry to be happy somewhere else.
Sir Geo.And you like this?
Lady Fran.One must like what the rest of the World likes.
Sir Geo.Pernicious maxim!
Lady Fran.But, my dear Sir George, you have not promis'd to go with me to the Masquerade.
Sir Geo.'Twould be a shocking indecorum to be seen together, you know.
Lady Fran.Oh, no; I ask'd Mrs. Racket, and she told me we might be seen together at the Masquerade—without being laugh'd at.
Sir Geo.Really?
Lady Fran.Indeed, to tell you the truth, I could wish it was the fashion for married people to be inseparable; for I have more heart-felt satisfaction in fifteen minutes with you at my side, than fifteen days of amusement could give me without you.
Sir Geo.My sweet Creature! How that confession charms me!—Let us begin the Fashion.
Lady Fran.O, impossible! We should not gain a single proselyte; and you can't conceive what spiteful things would be said of us.—At Kensington to-day a Lady met us, whom we saw at Court, when we were presented; she lifted up her hands in amazement!——Bless me! said she to her companion, here's Lady Francis without Sir Hurlo Thrumbo!—My dear Mrs. Racket, consider what an important charge you have! for Heaven's sake take her home again, or some Enchanter on a flying Dragon will descend and carry her off.—Oh, said another, I dare say Lady Frances has a clue at her heel, like the peerless Rosamond:—her tender swain would never have trusted her so far without such a precaution.
Sir Geo.Heav'n and Earth!——How shall Innocence preserve its lustre amidst manners so corrupt!—My dear Fanny, I feel a sentiment for thee at this moment, tenderer than Love—more animated than Passion.——I could weep over that purity, expos'd to the sullying breath of Fashion, and theTon, in whose latitudinary vortex Chastity herself can scarcely move unspotted.
EnterGibson.
EnterGibson.
Gib.Your Honour talk'd, I thought, something about going to the Masquerade?
Sir Geo.Well.
Gib.Isn't it?—hasn't your Honour?—I thought your Honour had forgot to order a Dress.
Lady Fran.Well consider'd, Gibson.—Come, will you be Jew, Turk, or Heretic; a Chinese Emperor, or a Ballad-Singer; a Rake, or a Watchman?
Sir Geo.Oh, neither, my Love; I can't take the trouble to support a character.
Lady Fran.You'll wear a Domino then:—I saw a pink Domino trimm'd with blue at the shop where I bought my Habit.—Would you like it?
Sir Geo.Any thing, any thing.
Lady Fran.Then go about it directly, Gibson.——A pink Domino trimm'd with blue, and a Hat of the same—Come, you have not seen my Dress yet—it is most beautiful; I long to have it on.
[ExeuntSir GeorgeandLady Frances.
Gib.A pink Domino trimm'd with blue, and a Hat of the same——What the devil can it signify to Sally now what his Dress is to be?—Surely the Slut has not made an assignation to meet her Master!
[ExitGibson.
END of the THIRD ACT.
END of the THIRD ACT.
A C T I V.SCENE——A Masquerade.A Party dancing Cotillons in front—a variety of Characters pass and repass.EnterFollyon a Hobby-Horse, with Cap and Bells.Mask.
A C T I V.SCENE——A Masquerade.A Party dancing Cotillons in front—a variety of Characters pass and repass.EnterFollyon a Hobby-Horse, with Cap and Bells.Mask.
Hey! Tom Fool! what business have you here?
Foll.What, Sir! Affront a Prince in his own Dominions!
[Struts off.
Mountebank.Who'll buy my Nostrums? Who'll buy my Nostrums?
Mask.What are they? (They all come round him.)
Mount.Different sorts, and for different customers. Here's a Liquor for Ladies—it expels the rage of Gaming and Gallantry; Here's a Pill for Members of Parliament—good to settle Consciences. Here's an Eye-Water for Jealous Husbands—it thickens the Visual Membrane, through which they see too clearly. Here's a Decoction for the Clergy—it never sits easy, if the patient has more than One Living. Here's a Draught for Lawyers—a great promoter of Modesty. Here's a Powder for Projectors—'twill rectify the fumes of an Empty Stomach, and dissipate their airy castles.
Mask.Have you a Nostrum that can give patience to Young Heirs, whose Uncles and Fathers are stout and healthy?
Mount.Yes; and I have an Infusion for Creditors—it gives resignation and humility, when Fine Gentlemen break their promises, or plead their privilege.
Mask.Come along:—I'll find you customers for your whole cargo.
EnterHardy,in the Dress ofIsaac Mendoza.
EnterHardy,in the Dress ofIsaac Mendoza.
Hardy.Why, isn't it a shame to see so many stout, well-built Young Fellows, masquerading, and cuttingCouranta'shere at home—instead of making the French cut capers to the tune of your Cannon—or sweating the Spaniards with an EnglishFandango?—I foresee the end of all this.
Mask.Why, thou little testy Israelite! back to Duke's Place; and preach your tribe into a subscription for the good of the land on whose milk and honey ye fatten.—Where are your Joshuas and your Gideons, aye? What! all dwindled into Stockbrokers, Pedlars, and Rag-Men?
Har.No, not all. Some of us turn Christians, and by degrees grow into all the privileges of Englishmen! In the second generation we are Patriots, Rebels, Courtiers, and Husbands. [Puts his fingers to his forehead.]
Two other Masks advance.
Two other Masks advance.
3d Mask.What, my little Isaac!——How the Devil came you here? Where's your old Margaret?
Har.Oh, I have got rid of her.
3d Mask.How?
Har.Why, I persuaded a young Irishman that she was a blooming plump Beauty of eighteen; so they made an Elopement, ha! ha! ha! and she is now the Toast of Tipperary. Ha! there's Cousin Racket and her Party; they sha'n't know me.
[Puts on his Mask.
Enter Mrs.Racket,LadyFrances,SirGeorge,andFlutter.
Enter Mrs.Racket,LadyFrances,SirGeorge,andFlutter.
Mrs. Rack.Look at this dumpling Jew; he must be a Levïte by his figure. You have surely practised the flesh-hook a long time, friend, to have raised that goodly presence.
Har.About as long, my brisk Widow, as you have been angling for a second Husband; but my hook has been better baited than your's.—You have only caught Gudgeons, I see.
[Pointing toFlutter.
Flut.Oh! this is one of the Geniuses they hire to entertain the Company with theiraccidentalsallies.——Let me look at your Common-Place Book, friend.—I want a few good things.
Har.I'd oblige you, with all my heart; but you'll spoil them in repeating—or, if you shou'd not, they'll gain you no reputation—for no body will believe they are your own.
Sir Geo.He knows ye, Flutter;—the little Gentleman fancies himself a Wit, I see.
Har.There's no depending on whatyousee—the eyes of the jealous are not to be trusted.—Look to your Lady.
Flut.He knows ye, Sir George.
Sir Geo.What! am I the Town-talk? [Aside]
Har.I can neither see Doricourt nor Letty.—I must find them out.
[ExitHardy.
Mrs. Rack.Well, Lady Frances, is not all this charming? Could you have conceived such a brilliant assemblage of objects?
Lady Fran.Delightful! The days of enchantment are restor'd; the columns glow with Sapphires and Rubies. Emperors and Fairies, Beauties and Dwarfs, meet me at every step.
Sir Geo.How lively are first impressions on sensible minds! In four hours, vapidity and languor will take place of that exquisite sense of joy, which flutters your little heart.
Mrs. Rack.What an inhuman creature! Fate has not allow'd us these sensations above ten times in our lives; and would you have us shorten them by anticipation?
Flut.O Lord! your Wise Men are the greatest Fools upon earth:—they reason about their enjoyments, and analyse their pleasures, whilst the essence escapes. Look, Lady Frances: D'ye see that Figure strutting in the dress of an Emperor? His Father retails Oranges in Botolph Lane. That Gypsey is a Maid of Honour, and that Rag-man a Physician.
Lady Fran.Why, you know every body.
Flut.Oh, every creature.—A Mask is nothing at all to me.—I can give you the history of half the people here. In the next apartment there's a whole family, who, to my knowledge, have lived on Water-Cresses this month, to make a figure here to-night;—but, to make up for that, they'll cram their pockets with cold Ducks and Chickens, for a Carnival to-morrow.
Lady Fran.Oh, I should like to see this provident Family.
Flut.Honour me with your arm.
[ExeuntFlutterand LadyFrances.
Mrs. Rack.Come, Sir George, you shall bemyBeau.—We'll make thetourof the rooms, and meet them. Oh! your pardon, you must follow Lady Frances; or the wit and fine parts of Mr. Flutter may drive you out of her head. Ha! ha! ha!
[Exit Mrs.Racket.
Sir Geo.I was going to follow her, and now I dare not. How can I be such a fool as to be govern'd by thefearof that ridicule which I despise!
[Exit SirGeorge.
EnterDoricourt,meeting a Mask.
EnterDoricourt,meeting a Mask.
Doric.Ha! my Lord!—I thought you had been engaged at Westminster on this important night.
Mask.So I am—I slipt out as soon as Lord Trope got upon his legs; I canbadinagehere an hour or two, and be back again before he is down.——There's a fine Figure! I'll address her.
EnterLetitia.
EnterLetitia.
Charity, fair Lady! Charity for a poor Pilgrim.
Letit.Charity! If you mean my prayers, Heaven grant thee Wit, Pilgrim.
Mask.That blessing would do from a Devotee: from you I ask other charities;—such charities as Beauty should bestow—soft Looks—sweet Words—and kind Wishes.
Letit.Alas! I am bankrupt of these, and forced to turn Beggar myself.——There he is!—how shall I catch his attention?
Mask.Will you grant me no favour?
Letit.Yes, one—I'll make you my Partner—not for life, but through the soft mazes of a minuet.—Dare you dance?
Doric.Some spirit in that.
Mask.I dare do any thing you command.
Doric.Do you know her, my Lord?
Mask.No: Such a woman as that, would formerly have been known in any disguise; but Beauty is now common—Venus seems to have given herCestusto the whole sex.
A Minuet.
A Minuet.
Doric.(during the Minuet) She dances divinely.—(When ended) Somebody must know her! Let us enquire who she is.
[Exit.
EnterSavilleandKitty Willis,habited like LadyFrances.
EnterSavilleandKitty Willis,habited like LadyFrances.
Sav.I have seen Courtall in Sir George's habit, though he endeavoured to keep himself conceal'd. Go, and seat yourself in the tea-room, and on no account discover your face:—remember too, Kitty, that the Woman you are to personate is a Woman of Virtue.
Kitty.I am afraid I shall find that a difficult character: indeed I believe it is seldom kept up through a whole Masquerade.
Sav.Of thatyoucan be no judge——Follow my directions, and you shall be rewarded.
[ExitKitty.
EnterDoricourt.
EnterDoricourt.
Dor.Ha! Saville! Did you see a Lady dance just now?
Sav.No.
Dor.Very odd. No body knows her.
Sav.Where is Miss Hardy?
Dor.Cutting Watch-papers, and making Conundrums, I suppose.
Sav.What do you mean?
Dor.Faith, I hardly know. She's not here, however, Mrs. Racket tells me.—I ask'd no further.
Sav.Your indifference seems increas'd.
Dor.Quite the reverse; 'tis advanced thirty-two degrees towards hatred.
Sav.You are jesting?
Dor.Then it must be with a very ill grace, my dear Saville; for I never felt so seriously: Do you know the creature's almost an Ideot?
Sav.What!
Dor.An Ideot. What the devil shall I do with her? Egad! I think I'll feign myself mad—and then Hardy will propose to cancel the engagements.
Sav.An excellent expedient. I must leave you; you are mysterious, and I can't stay to unravel ye.—I came here to watch over Innocence and Beauty.
Dor.The Guardian of Innocence and Beauty at three and twenty! Is there not a cloven foot under that black gown, Saville?
Sav.No, faith. Courtall is here on a most detestable design.—I found means to get a knowledge of the Lady's dress, and have brought a girl to personate her, whose reputation cannot be hurt.—You shall know the result to-morrow. Adieu.
[ExitSaville.
Dor.(musing) Yes, I think that will do.—I'll feign myself mad, see the Doctor to pronounce me incurable, and when the parchments are destroyed——
[As he stands in a musing posture, Letitiaenters, and sings.]
SONG.Wake! thou Son of Dullness, wake!From thy drowsy senses shakeAll the spells that Care employs,Cheating Mortals of their joys.II.Light-wing'd Spirits, hither haste!Who prepare for mortal tasteAll the gifts that Pleasure sends,Every bliss that youth attends.III.Touch his feelings, rouze his soul,Whilst the sparkling moments roll;Bid them wake to new delight,Crown the magic of the night.
SONG.
Dor.By Heaven, the same sweet creature!
Let.You have chosen an odd situation for study. Fashion and Taste preside in this spot:—they throw their spells around you:—ten thousand delights spring up at their command;—and you, a Stoic—a being without senses, are wrapt in reflection.
Dor.And you, the most charming being in the world, awake me to admiration. Did you come from the Stars?
Let.Yes, and I shall reascend in a moment.
Dor.Pray shew me your face before you go.
Let.Beware of imprudent curiosity; it lost Paradise.
Dor.Eve's curiosity was rais'd by the Devil;—'tis an Angel tempts mine.—So your allusion is not in point.
Let.Butwhywould you see my face?
Dor.To fall in love with it.
Let.And what then?
Dor.Why, then—Aye, curse it! there's the rub. [Aside.]
Let.Your Mistress will be angry;—but, perhaps, you have no Mistress?
Dor.Yes, yes; and a sweet one it is!
Let.What! is she old?
Dor.No.
Let.Ugly?
Dor.No.
Let.What then?
Dor.Pho! don't talk abouther; but shew me your face.
Let.My vanity forbids it;—'twould frighten you.
Dor.Impossible! Your Shape is graceful, your Air bewitching, your Bosom transparent, and your Chin would tempt me to kiss it, if I did not see a pouting red Lip above it, that demands——
Let.You grow too free.
Dor.Shew me your face then—only half a glance.
Let.Not for worlds.
Dor.What! you will have a little gentle force? [Attempts to seize her Mask.
Let.I am gone for ever!
[Exit.
Dor.'Tis false;—I'll follow to the end.
[Exit.
Flutter,LadyFrances,andSavilleadvance.
Flutter,LadyFrances,andSavilleadvance.
Lady Fran.How can you be thus interested for a stranger?
Sav.Goodness will ever interest; its home is Heaven: on earth 'tis but a Wanderer. Imprudent Lady! why have you left the side of your Protector? Where is your Husband?
Flut.Why, what's that to him?
Lady Fran.Surely it can't be merely his habit;——there's something in him that awes me.
Flut.Pho! 'tis only his grey beard.—I know him; he keeps a Lottery-office on Cornhill.
Sav.My province, as an Enchanter, lays open every secret to me. Lady! there are dangers abroad—Beware!
[Exit.
Lady Fran.'Tis very odd; his manner has made me tremble. Let us seek Sir George.
Flut.He is coming towards us.
Courtallcomes forward, habited like SirGeorge.
Courtallcomes forward, habited like SirGeorge.
Court.There she is! If I can but disengage her from that fool Flutter—crown me, ye Schemers, with immortal wreaths.
Lady Fran.O my dear Sir George! I rejoice to meet you—an old Conjuror has been frightening me with his Prophecies.—Where's Mrs. Racket?
Court.In the dancing-room.—I promis'd to send you to her, Mr. Flutter.
Flut.Ah! she wants me to dance. With all my heart.
[Exit.
Lady Fran.Why do you keep on your mask?—'tis too warm.
Court.'Tis very warm—I want air—let us go.
Lady Fran.You seem quite agitated.——Sha'n't we bid our company adieu?
Court.No, no;—there's no time for forms. I'll just give directions to the carriage, and be with you in a moment. (Going, steps back.) Put on your mask; I have a particular reason for it.
[Exit.
Savilleadvances withKitty.
Savilleadvances withKitty.
Sav.Now, Kitty, you know your lesson. Lady Frances, (takes off his mask) let me lead you to your Husband.
Lady Fran.Heavens! is Mr. Saville the Conjuror? Sir George is just stept to the door to give directions.—We are going home immediately.
Sav.No, Madam, you are deceiv'd: Sir George is this way.
Lady Fran.This is astonishing!
Sav.Be not alarm'd: you have escap'd a snare, and shall be in safety in a moment.
[ExitSavilleand LadyFrances.
EnterCourtall,and seizesKitty'sHand.
EnterCourtall,and seizesKitty'sHand.
Court.Now!
Kitty.'Tis pity to go so soon.
Court.Perhaps I may bring you back, my Angel——but go now, you must.
[Exit.] [Music.]
DoricourtandLetitiacome forward.
DoricourtandLetitiacome forward.
Dor.By Heavens! I never was charm'd till now.—English beauty—French vivacity—wit—elegance. Your name, my Angel!—tell me your name, though you persist in concealing your face.
Let.My name has a spell in it.
Dor.I thought so; it must beCharming.
Let.But if reveal'd, the charm is broke.
Dor.I'll answer for its force.
Let.Suppose it Harriet, or Charlotte, or Maria, or—
Dor.Hang Harriet, and Charlotte, and Maria—the name your Father gave ye!
Let.That can't be worth knowing, 'tis so transient a thing.
Dor.How, transient?
Let.Heav'n forbid my name should belastingtill I am married.
Dor.Married! The chains of Matrimony are too heavy and vulgar for such a spirit as yours.——The flowery wreaths of Cupid are the only bands you should wear.
Let.They are the lightest, I believe: but 'tis possible to wear those of Marriage gracefully.——Throw 'em loosely round, and twist 'em in a True-Lover's Knot for the Bosom.
Dor.An Angel! But what will you be when a Wife?
Let.A Woman.—If my Husband should prove a Churl, a Fool, or a Tyrant, I'd break his heart, ruin his fortune, elope with the first pretty Fellow that ask'd me—and return the contempt of the world with scorn, whilst my feelings prey'd upon my life.
Dor.Amazing! [Aside] What if you lov'd him, and he were worthy of your love?
Let.Why, then I'd be any thing—and all!—Grave, gay, capricious—the soul of whim, the spirit of variety—live with him in the eye of fashion, or in the shade of retirement——change my country, my sex,—feast with him in an Esquimaux hut, or a Persian pavilion—join him in the victorious war-dance on the borders of Lake Ontario, or sleep to the soft breathings of the flute in the cinnamon groves of Ceylon—dig with him in the mines of Golconda, or enter the dangerous precincts of the Mogul's Seraglo——cheat him of his wishes, and overturn his empire to restore the Husband of my Heart to the blessings of Liberty and Love.
Dor.Delightful wildness! Oh, to catch thee, and hold thee for ever in this little cage!
[Attempting to clasp her.
Let.Hold, Sir! Though Cupid must give the bait that tempts me to the snare, 'tis Hymen must spread the net to catch me.
Dor.'Tis in vain to assume airs of coldness——Fate has ordain'd you mine.
Let.How do you know?
Dor.I feel ithere. I never met with a Woman so perfectly to my taste; and I won't believe it form'd you so, on purpose to tantalize me.
Let.This moment is worth a whole existence. [Aside.]
Dor.Come, shew me your face, and rivet my chains.
Let.To-morrow you shall be satisfied.
Dor.To-morrow! and not to-night?
Let.No.
Dor.Where then shall I wait on you to-morrow?——Where see you?
Let.You shall see me in an hour when you least expect me.
Dor.Why all this mystery?
Let.I like to be mysterious. At present be content to know that I am a Woman of Family and Fortune. Adieu!
EnterHardy.
EnterHardy.
Har.Adieu! Then I am come at the fag end. [Aside.]
Dor.Let me see you to your carriage.
Let.As you value knowing me, stir not a step. If I am follow'd, you never see me more.
[Exit.
Dor.Barbarous Creature! She's gone! What, and is this really serious?—am I in love?——Pho! it can't be——O Flutter! do you know that charming Creature?
EnterFlutter.
EnterFlutter.
Flut.What charming Creature? I pass'd a thousand.
Dor.She went out at that door, as you enter'd.
Flut.Oh, yes;—I know her very well.
Dor.Do you, my dear Fellow? Who?
Flut.She's kept by Lord George Jennett.
Har.Impudent Scoundrel! [Aside.]
Dor.Kept!!!
Flut.Yes; Colonel Gorget had her first;—then Mr. Loveill;—then—I forget exactly how many; and at last she's Lord George's. [Talks to other Masks.]
Dor.I'll murder Gorget, poison Lord George, and shoot myself.
Har.Now's the time, I see, to clear up the whole. Mr. Doricourt!—I say—Flutter was mistaken; I know who you are in love with.
Dor.A strangerencontre!Who?
Har.My Letty.
Dor.Oh! I understand your rebuke;—'tis too soon, Sir, to assume the Father-in-law.
Har.Zounds! what do you mean by that? I tell you that the Lady you admire, is Letitia Hardy.
Dor.I am gladyouare so well satisfied with the state of my heart.—I wishIwas.
[Exit.
Har.Stop a moment.—Stop, I say! What, you won't? Very well—if I don't play you a trick for this, may I never be a Grand-father! I'll plotwithLetty now, and not against her; aye, hang me if I don't. There's something in my head, that shall tingle in his heart.—He shall have a lecture upon impatience, that I foresee he'll be the better for as long as he lives.
[Exit.
Savillecomes forward with other Masks.
Savillecomes forward with other Masks.
Sav.Flutter, come with us; we're going to raise a laugh at Courtall's.
Flut.With all my heart. "Live to Live," was my Father's motto: "Live to Laugh," is mine.
[Exit.
SCENE——Courtall's.EnterKittyandCourtall.
SCENE——Courtall's.EnterKittyandCourtall.
Kitty.Where have you brought me, Sir George? This is not our home.
Court.'Tismyhome, beautiful Lady Frances! [Kneels, and takes off his Mask.] Oh, forgive the ardency of my passion, which has compell'd me to deceive you.
Kitty.Mr. Courtall! what will become of me?
Court.Oh, say but that you pardon the Wretch who adores you. Did you but know the agonizing tortures of my heart, since I had the felicity of conversing with you this morning——or the despair that now—[Knock.]
Kitty.Oh! I'm undone!
Court.Zounds! my dear Lady Frances. I am not at home. Rascal! do you hear?——Let no body in; I am not at home.
Serv.[Without] Sir, I told the Gentlemen so.
Court.Eternal curses! they are coming up. Step into this room, adorable Creature!onemoment; I'll throw them out of the window if they stay three.
[ExitKitty;through the back scene.
EnterSaville, Flutter,and Masks.
EnterSaville, Flutter,and Masks.
Flut.O Gemini! beg the Petticoat's pardon.—Just saw a corner of it.
1st Mask.No wonder admittance was so difficult. I thought you took us for Bailiffs.
Court.Upon my soul, I am devilish glad to see you—but you perceive how I am circumstanc'd. Excuse me at this moment.
2d Mask.Tell us who 'tis then.
Court.Oh, fie!
Flut.We won't blab.
Court.I can't, upon honour.—Thus far—She's a Woman of the first Character and Rank. Saville, [takes him aside] have I influence, or have I not?
Sav.Why, sure, you do not insinuate—
Court.No, not insinuate, but swear, that she's now in my bed-chamber:—by gad, I don't deceive you.—There's Generalship, you Rogue! Such an humble, distant, sighing Fellow as thou art, at the end of a six-months siege, would haveboastedof a kiss from her glove.——I only give the signal, and—pop!—she's in my arms.
Sav.What, Lady Fran——
Court.Hush! You shall see her name to-morrow morning in red letters at the end of my list. Gentlemen, you must excuse me now. Come and drink chocolate at twelve, but—
Sav.Aye, let us go, out of respect to the Lady:—'tis a Person of Rank.
Flut.Is it?—Then I'll have a peep at her. (Runs to the door in the back Scene.)
Court.This is too much, Sir. (Trying to prevent him.)
1st Mask.By Jupiter, we'll all have a peep.
Court.Gentlemen, consider—for Heaven's sake——a Lady of Quality. What will be the consequences?
Flut.The consequences!—Why, you'll have your throat cut, that's all—but I'll write your Elegy. So, now for the door! [Part open the door, whilst the rest holdCourtall.]——Beg your Ladyship's pardon, whoever you are: [Leads her out.] Emerge from darkness like the glorious Sun, and bless the wond'ring circle with your charms. [Takes off her Mask.]
Sav.Kitty Willis! ha! ha! ha!
Omnes.Kitty Willis! ha! ha! ha! Kitty Willis!
1st Mask.Why, what a Fellow you are, Courtall, to attempt imposing on your friends in this manner! A Lady of Quality—an Earl's Daughter—Your Ladyship's most obedient.——Ha! ha! ha!
Sav.Courtall, have you influence, or have you not?
Flut.The Man's moon-struck.
Court.Hell, and ten thousand Furies, seize you all together!
Kitty.What! me, too, Mr. Courtall? me, whom you have knelt to, prayed to, and adored?
Flut.That's right, Kitty; give him a little more.
Court.Disappointed and laugh'd at!——
Sav.Laugh'd at and despis'd. I have fullfilled my design, which was to expose your villainy, and laugh at your presumption. Adieu, Sir! Remember how you again boast of your influence with Women of Rank; and, when you next want amusement, dare not to look up to the virtuous and to the noble for a Companion.
[Exit, leadingKitty.
Flut.And, Courtall, before you carry a Lady into your bed-chamber again, look under her mask, d'ye hear?
[Exit.
Court.There's no bearing this! I'll set off for Paris directly.
[Exit.
END of the FOURTH ACT.
END of the FOURTH ACT.
A C T V.SCENE I——Hardy's.EnterHardyandVillers.Villers.
A C T V.SCENE I——Hardy's.EnterHardyandVillers.Villers.
Whimsical enough! Dying for her, and hates her; believes her a Fool, and a Woman of brilliant Understanding!
Har.As true as you are alive;—but when I went up to him last night, at the Pantheon, out of downright good-nature to explain things——my Gentleman whips round upon his heel, and snapt me as short as if I had been a beggar-woman with six children, and he Overseer of the Parish.
Vill.Here comes the Wonder-worker—[EnterLetitia.] Here comes the Enchantress, who can go to Masquerades, and sing and dance, and talk a Man out of his wits!——But pray, have we Morning Masquerades?
Let.Oh, no—but I am so enamour'd of this all-conquering Habit, that I could not resist putting it on, the moment I had breakfasted. I shall wear it on the day I am married, and then lay it by in spices—like the miraculous Robes of St. Bridget.
Vill.That's as most Brides do. The charms that helped to catch the Husband, are generallylaid by, one after another, 'till the Lady grows a downright Wife, and then runs crying to her Mother, because she has transform'd herLoverinto a downright Husband.
Har.Listen to me.—I ha'n't slept to-night, for thinking of plots to plague Doricourt;—and they drove one another out of my head so quick, that I was as giddy as a goose, and could make nothing of 'em.——I wish to goodness you could contrive something.
Vill.Contrive to plague him! Nothing so easy. Don't undeceive him, Madam, 'till he is your Husband. Marry him whilst he possesses the sentiments you labour'd to give him of Miss Hardy—and when you are his Wife——
Let.Oh, Heavens! I see the whole—that's the very thing. My dear Mr. Villers, you are the divinest Man.
Vill.Don't make love to me, Hussey.