f(3) A sophist of the island of Ceos, a disciple of Protagoras, as celebrated for his knowledge as for his eloquence. The Athenians condemned him to death as a corrupter of youth in 396 B.C.f(4) Lovers were wont to make each other presents of birds. The cock and the goose are mentioned, of course, in jest.f(5) i.e. that it gave notice of the approach of winter, during which season the Ancients did not venture to sea.f(6) A notorious robber.f(7) Meaning, "We are your oracles." —Dodona was an oracle in Epirus.—The temple of Zeus there was surrounded by a dense forest, all the trees of which were endowed with the gift of prophecy; both the sacred oaks and the pigeons that lived in them answered the questions of those who came to consult the oracle in pure Greek.f(8) The Greek word for 'omen' is the same as that for 'bird.'f(9) A satire on the passion of the Greeks for seeing an omen in everything.f(10) An imitation of the nightingale's song.f(11) God of the groves and wilds.f(12) The 'Mother of the Gods'; roaming the mountains, she held dances, always attended by Pan and his accompanying rout of Fauns and Satyrs.f(13) An allusion to cock-fighting; the birds are armed with brazen spurs.f(14) An allusion to the spots on this bird, which resemble the scars left by a branding iron.f(15) He was of Asiatic origin, but wished to pass for an Athenian.f(16) Or Philamnon, King of Thrace; the scholiast remarks that the Phrygians and the Thracians had a common origin.f(17) The Greek word here is also the name of a little bird.f(18) A basket-maker who had become rich.—The Phylarchs were the headmen of the tribes. They presided at the private assemblies and were charged with the management of the treasury.—The Hipparchs, as the name implies, were the leaders of the cavalry; there were only two of these in the Athenian army.f(19) He had become a senator.PISTHETAERUS Halloa! What's this? By Zeus! I never saw anything so funny in all my life.(1)f(1) Pisthetaerus and Euelpides now both return with wings.EUELPIDES What makes you laugh?PISTHETAERUS 'Tis your bits of wings. D'you know what you look like? Like a goose painted by some dauber-fellow.EUELPIDES And you look like a close-shaven blackbird.PISTHETAERUS 'Tis ourselves asked for this transformation, and, as Aeschylus has it, "These are no borrowed feathers, but truly our own."(1)f(1) Meaning, 'tis we who wanted to have these wings.—The verse from Aeschylus, quoted here, is taken from 'The Myrmidons,' a tragedy of which only a few fragments remain.EPOPS Come now, what must be done?PISTHETAERUS First give our city a great and famous name, then sacrifice to the gods.EUELPIDES I think so too.EPOPS Let's see. What shall our city be called?PISTHETAERUS Will you have a high-sounding Laconian name? Shall we call it Sparta?EUELPIDES What! call my town Sparta? Why, I would not use esparto for my bed,(1) even though I had nothing but bands of rushes.f(1) The Greek word signified the city of Sparta, and also a kind of broom used for weaving rough matting, which served for the beds of the very poor.PISTHETAERUS Well then, what name can you suggest?EUELPIDES Some name borrowed from the clouds, from these lofty regions in which we dwell—in short, some well-known name.PISTHETAERUS Do you like Nephelococcygia?(1)f(1) A fanciful name constructed from (the word for) a cloud, and (the word for) a cuckoo; thus a city of clouds and cuckoos.—'Wolkenkukelheim' is a clever approximation in German. Cloud-cuckoo-town, perhaps, is the best English equivalent.EPOPS Oh! capital! truly 'tis a brilliant thought!EUELPIDES Is it in Nephelococcygia that all the wealth of Theovenes(1) and most of Aeschines'(2) is?f(1) He was a boaster nicknamed 'smoke,' because he promised a great deal and never kept his word.f(2) Also mentioned in 'The Wasps.'PISTHETAERUS No, 'tis rather the plain of Phlegra,(1) where the gods withered the pride of the sons of the Earth with their shafts.f(1) Because the war of the Titans against the gods was only a fiction of the poets.EUELPIDES Oh! what a splendid city! But what god shall be its patron? for whom shall we weave the peplus?(1)f(1) A sacred cloth, with which the statue of Athene in the Acropolis was draped.PISTHETAERUS Why not choose Athene Polias?(1)f(1) Meaning, to be patron-goddess of the city. Athene had a temple of this name.EUELPIDES Oh! what a well-ordered town 'twould be to have a female deity armed from head to foot, while Clisthenes(1) was spinning!f(1) An Athenian effeminate, frequently ridiculed by Aristophanes.PISTHETAERUS Who then shall guard the Pelargicon?(1)f(1) This was the name of the wall surrounding the Acropolis.EPOPS One of us, a bird of Persian strain, who is everywhere proclaimed to be the bravest of all, a true chick of Ares.(1)f(1) i.e. the fighting cock.EUELPIDES Oh! noble chick! What a well-chosen god for a rocky home!PISTHETAERUS Come! into the air with you to help the workers who are building the wall; carry up rubble, strip yourself to mix the mortar, take up the hod, tumble down the ladder, an you like, post sentinels, keep the fire smouldering beneath the ashes, go round the walls, bell in hand,(1) and go to sleep up there yourself; then d(i)spatch two heralds, one to the gods above, the other to mankind on earth and come back here.f(1) To waken the sentinels, who might else have fallen asleep.—There are several merry contradictions in the various parts of this list of injunctions.EUELPIDES As for yourself, remain here, and may the plague take you for a troublesome fellow!PISTHETAERUS Go, friend, go where I send you, for without you my orders cannot be obeyed. For myself, I want to sacrifice to the new god, and I am going to summon the priest who must preside at the ceremony. Slaves! slaves! bring forward the basket and the lustral water.CHORUS I do as you do, and I wish as you wish, and I implore you to address powerful and solemn prayers to the gods, and in addition to immolate a sheep as a token of our gratitude. Let us sing the Pythian chant in honour of the god, and let Chaeris accompany our voices.PISTHETAERUS (TO THE FLUTE-PLAYER) Enough! but, by Heracles! what is this? Great gods! I have seen many prodigious things, but I never saw a muzzled raven.(1)f(1) In allusion to the leather strap which flute-players wore to constrict the cheeks and add to the power of the breath. The performer here no doubt wore a raven's mask.EPOPS Priest! 'tis high time! Sacrifice to the new gods.PRIEST I begin, but where is he with the basket? Pray to the Vesta of the birds, to the kite, who presides over the hearth, and to all the god and goddess-birds who dwell in Olympus.CHORUS Oh! Hawk, the sacred guardian of Sunium, oh, god of the storks!PRIEST Pray to the swan of Delos, to Latona the mother of the quails, and to Artemis, the goldfinch.PISTHETAERUS 'Tis no longer Artemis Colaenis, but Artemis the goldfinch.(1)f(1) Hellanicus, the Mitylenian historian, tells that this surname of Artemis is derived from Colaenus, King of Athens before Cecrops and a descendant of Hermes. In obedience to an oracle he erected a temple to the goddess, invoking her as Artemis Colaenis (the Artemis of Colaenus).PRIEST And to Bacchus, the finch and Cybele, the ostrich and mother of the gods and mankind.CHORUS Oh! sovereign ostrich, Cybele, The mother of Cleocritus,(1) grant health and safety to the Nephelococcygians as well as to the dwellers in Chios...f(1) This Cleocritus, says the scholiast, was long-necked and strutted like an ostrich.PISTHETAERUS The dwellers in Chios! Ah! I am delighted they should be thus mentioned on all occasions.(1)f(1) The Chians were the most faithful allies of Athens, and hence their name was always mentioned in prayers, decrees, etc.CHORUS ...to the heroes, the birds, to the sons of heroes, to the porphyrion, the pelican, the spoon-bill, the redbreast, the grouse, the peacock, the horned-owl, the teal, the bittern, the heron, the stormy petrel, the fig-pecker, the titmouse...PISTHETAERUS Stop! stop! you drive me crazy with your endless list. Why, wretch, to what sacred feast are you inviting the vultures and the sea-eagles? Don't you see that a single kite could easily carry off the lot at once? Begone, you and your fillets and all; I shall know how to complete the sacrifice by myself.PRIEST It is imperative that I sing another sacred chant for the rite of the lustral water, and that I invoke the immortals, or at least one of them, provided always that you have some suitable food to offer him; from what I see here, in the shape of gifts, there is naught whatever but horn and hair.PISTHETAERUS Let us address our sacrifices and our prayers to the winged gods.A POET Oh, Muse! celebrate happy Nephelococcygia in your hymns.PISTHETAERUS What have we here? Where did you come from, tell me? Who are you?POET I am he whose language is sweeter than honey, the zealous slave of the Muses, as Homer has it.PISTHETAERUS You a slave! and yet you wear your hair long?POET No, but the fact is all we poets are the assiduous slaves of the Muses, according to Homer.PISTHETAERUS In truth your little cloak is quite holy too through zeal! But, poet, what ill wind drove you here?POET I have composed verses in honour of your Nephelococcygia, a host of splendid dithyrambs and parthenians(1) worthy of Simonides himself.f(1) Verses sung by maidens.PISTHETAERUS And when did you compose them? How long since?POET Oh! 'tis long, aye, very long, that I have sung in honour of this city.PISTHETAERUS But I am only celebrating its foundation with this sacrifice;(1) I have only just named it, as is done with little babies.f(1) This ceremony took place on the tenth day after birth, and may be styled the pagan baptism.POET "Just as the chargers fly with the speed of the wind, so does the voice of the Muses take its flight. Oh! thou noble founder of the town of Aetna,(1) thou, whose name recalls the holy sacrifices,(2) make us such gift as thy generous heart shall suggest."f(1) Hiero, tyrant of Syracuse.—This passage is borrowed from Pindar.f(2) (Hiero) in Greek means 'sacrifice.'PISTHETAERUS He will drive us silly if we do not get rid of him by some present. Here! you, who have a fur as well as your tunic, take it off and give it to this clever poet. Come, take this fur; you look to me to be shivering with cold.POET My Muse will gladly accept this gift; but engrave these verses of Pindar's on your mind.PISTHETAERUS Oh! what a pest! 'Tis impossible then to be rid of him!POET "Straton wanders among the Scythian nomads, but has no linen garment. He is sad at only wearing an animal's pelt and no tunic." Do you conceive my bent?PISTHETAERUS I understand that you want me to offer you a tunic. Hi! you (TO EUELPIDES), take off yours; we must help the poet.... Come, you, take it and begone.POET I am going, and these are the verses that I address to this city: "Phoebus of the golden throne, celebrate this shivery, freezing city; I have travelled through fruitful and snow-covered plains. Tralala! Tralala!"(1)f(1) A parody of poetic pathos, not to say bathos.PISTHETAERUS What are you chanting us about frosts? Thanks to the tunic, you no longer fear them. Ah! by Zeus! I could not have believed this cursed fellow could so soon have learnt the way to our city. Come, priest, take the lustral water and circle the altar.PRIEST Let all keep silence!A PROPHET Let not the goat be sacrificed.(1)f(1) Which the priest was preparing to sacrifice.PISTHETAERUS Who are you?PROPHET Who am I? A prophet.PISTHETAERUS Get you gone.PROPHET Wretched man, insult not sacred things. For there is an oracle of Bacis, which exactly applies to Nephelococcygia.PISTHETAERUS Why did you not reveal it to me before I founded my city?PROPHET The divine spirit was against it.PISTHETAERUS Well, 'tis best to know the terms of the oracle.PROPHET "But when the wolves and the white crows shall dwell together between Corinth and Sicyon..."PISTHETAERUS But how do the Corinthians concern me?PROPHET 'Tis the regions of the air that Bacis indicated in this manner. "They must first sacrifice a white-fleeced goat to Pandora, and give the prophet, who first reveals my words, a good cloak and new sandals."PISTHETAERUS Are the sandals there?PROPHET Read. "And besides this a goblet of wine and a good share of the entrails of the victim."PISTHETAERUS Of the entrails—is it so written?PROPHET Read. "If you do as I command, divine youth, you shall be an eagle among the clouds; if not, you shall be neither turtle-dove, nor eagle, nor woodpecker."PISTHETAERUS Is all that there?PROPHET Read.PISTHETAERUS This oracle in no sort of way resembles the one Apollo dictated to me: "If an impostor comes without invitation to annoy you during the sacrifice and to demand a share of the victim, apply a stout stick to his ribs."PROPHET You are drivelling.PISTHETAERUS "And don't spare him, were he an eagle from out of the clouds, were it Lampon(1) himself or the great Diopithes."(2)f(1) Noted Athenian diviner, who, when the power was still shared between Thucydides and Pericles, predicted that it would soon be centred in the hands of the latter; his ground for this prophecy was the sight of a ram with a single horn.f(2) No doubt another Athenian diviner, and possibly the same person whom Aristophanes names in 'The Knights' and 'The Wasps' as being a thief.PROPHET Is all that there?PISTHETAERUS Here, read it yourself, and go and hang yourself.PROPHET Oh! unfortunate wretch that I am.PISTHETAERUS Away with you, and take your prophecies elsewhere.METON(1) I have come to you.f(1) A celebrated geometrician and astronomer.PISTHETAERUS Yet another pest! What have you come to do? What's your plan? What's the purpose of your journey? Why these splendid buskins?METON I want to survey the plains of the air for you and to parcel them into lots.PISTHETAERUS In the name of the gods, who are you?METON Who am I? Meton, known throughout Greece and at Colonus.(1)f(1) A deme contiguous to Athens. It is as though he said, "Well known throughout all England and at Croydon.PISTHETAERUS What are these things?METON Tools for measuring the air. In truth, the spaces in the air have precisely the form of a furnace. With this bent ruler I draw a line from top to bottom; from one of its points I describe a circle with the compass. Do you understand?PISTHETAERUS Not the very least.METON With the straight ruler I set to work to inscribe a square within this circle; in its centre will be the market-place, into which all the straight streets will lead, converging to this centre like a star, which, although only orbicular, sends forth its rays in a straight line from all sides.PISTHETAERUS Meton, you new Thales...(1)f(1) Thales was no less famous as a geometrician than he was as a sage.METON What d'you want with me?PISTHETAERUS I want to give you a proof of my friendship. Use your legs.METON Why, what have I to fear?PISTHETAERUS 'Tis the same here as in Sparta. Strangers are driven away, and blows rain down as thick as hail.METON Is there sedition in your city?PISTHETAERUS No, certainly not.METON What's wrong then?PISTHETAERUS We are agreed to sweep all quacks and impostors far from our borders.METON Then I'm off.PISTHETAERUS I fear 'tis too late. The thunder growls already. (BEATS HIM.)METON Oh, woe! oh, woe!PISTHETAERUS I warned you. Now, be off, and do your surveying somewhere else. (METON TAKES TO HIS HEELS.)AN INSPECTOR Where are the Proxeni?(1)f(1) Officers of Athens, whose duty was to protect strangers who came on political or other business, and see to their interests generally.PISTHETAERUS Who is this Sardanapalus?(1)f(1) He addresses the inspector thus because of the royal and magnificent manners he assumes.INSPECTOR I have been appointed by lot to come to Nephelococcygia as inspector.(1)f(1) Magistrates appointed to inspect the tributary towns.PISTHETAERUS An inspector! and who sends you here, you rascal?INSPECTOR A decree of T(e)leas.(1)f(1) A much-despised citizen, already mentioned. He ironically supposes him invested with the powers of an Archon, which ordinarily were entrusted only to men of good repute.PISTHETAERUS Will you just pocket your salary, do nothing, and be off?INSPECTOR I' faith! that I will; I am urgently needed to be at Athens to attend the assembly; for I am charged with the interests of Pharnaces.(1)f(1) A Persian satrap.—An allusion to certain orators, who, bribed with Asiatic gold, had often defended the interests of the foe in the Public Assembly.PISTHETAERUS Take it then, and be off. See, here is your salary. (BEATS HIM.)INSPECTOR What does this mean?PISTHETAERUS 'Tis the assembly where you have to defend Pharnaces.INSPECTOR You shall testify that they dare to strike me, the inspector.PISTHETAERUS Are you not going to clear out with your urns? 'Tis not to be believed; they send us inspectors before we have so much as paid sacrifice to the gods.A DEALER IN DECREES "If the Nephelococcygian does wrong to the Athenian..."PISTHETAERUS Now whatever are these cursed parchments?DEALER IN DECREES I am a dealer in decrees, and I have come here to sell you the new laws.PISTHETAERUS Which?DEALER IN DECREES "The Nephelococcygians shall adopt the same weights, measures and decrees as the Olophyxians."(1)f(1) A Macedonian people in the peninsula of Chalcidice. This name is chosen because of its similarity to the Greek word (for) 'to groan.' It is from another verb, meaning the same thing, that Pisthetaerus coins the name of Ototyxians, i.e. groaners, because he is about to beat the dealer.—The mother-country had the right to impose any law it chose upon its colonies.PISTHETAERUS And you shall soon be imitating the Ototyxians. (BEATS HIM.)DEALER IN DECREES Hullo! what are you doing?PISTHETAERUS Now will you be off with your decrees? For I am going to let YOU see some severe ones.INSPECTOR (RETURNING) I summon Pisthetaerus for outrage for the month of Munychion.(1)f(1) Corresponding to our month of April.PISTHETAERUS Ha! my friend! are you still there?DEALER IN DECREES "Should anyone drive away the magistrates and not receive them, according to the decree duly posted..."PISTHETAERUS What! rascal! you are there too?INSPECTOR Woe to you! I'll have you condemned to a fine of ten thousand drachmae.PISTHETAERUS And I'll smash your urns.(1)f(1) Which the inspector had brought with him for the purpose of inaugurating the assemblies of the people or some tribunal.INSPECTOR Do you recall that evening when you stooled against the column where the decrees are posted?PISTHETAERUS Here! here! let him be seized. (THE INSPECTOR RUNS OFF.) Well! don't you want to stop any longer?PRIEST Let us get indoors as quick as possible; we will sacrifice the goat inside.(1)f(1) So that the sacrifices might no longer be interrupted.CHORUS Henceforth it is to me that mortals must address their sacrifices and their prayers. Nothing escapes my sight nor my might. My glance embraces the universe, I preserve the fruit in the flower by destroying the thousand kinds of voracious insects the soil produces, which attack the trees and feed on the germ when it has scarcely formed in the calyx; I destroy those who ravage the balmy terrace gardens like a deadly plague; all these gnawing crawling creatures perish beneath the lash of my wing. I hear it proclaimed everywhere: "A talent for him who shall kill Diagoras of Melos,(1) and a talent for him who destroys one of the dead tyrants."(2) We likewise wish to make our proclamation: "A talent to him among you who shall kill Philocrates, the Struthian;(3) four, if he brings him to us alive. For this Philocrates skewers the finches together and sells them at the rate of an obolus for seven. He tortures the thrushes by blowing them out, so that they may look bigger, sticks their own feathers into the nostrils of blackbirds, and collects pigeons, which he shuts up and forces them, fastened in a net, to decoy others." That is what we wish to proclaim. And if anyone is keeping birds shut up in his yard, let him hasten to let them loose; those who disobey shall be seized by the birds and we shall put them in chains, so that in their turn they may decoy other men.Happy indeed is the race of winged birds who need no cloak in winter! Neither do I fear the relentless rays of the fiery dog-days; when the divine grasshopper, intoxicated with the sunlight, when noon is burning the ground, is breaking out into shrill melody; my home is beneath the foliage in the flowery meadows. I winter in deep caverns, where I frolic with the mountain nymphs, while in spring I despoil the gardens of the Graces and gather the white, virgin berry on the myrtle bushes.I want now to speak to the judges about the prize they are going to award; if they are favourable to us, we will load them with benefits far greater than those Paris(4) received. Firstly, the owls of Laurium,(5) which every judge desires above all things, shall never be wanting to you; you shall see them homing with you, building their nests in your money-bags and laying coins. Besides, you shall be housed like the gods, for we shall erect gables(6) over your dwellings; if you hold some public post and want to do a little pilfering, we will give you the sharp claws of a hawk. Are you dining in town, we will provide you with crops.(7) But, if your award is against us, don't fail to have metal covers fashioned for yourselves, like those they place over statues;(8) else, look out! for the day you wear a white tunic all the birds will soil it with their droppings.f(1) A disciple of Democrites; he passed over from superstition to atheism. The injustice and perversity of mankind led him to deny the existence of the gods, to lay bare the mysteries and to break the idols. The Athenians had put a price on his head, so he left Greece and perished soon afterwards in a storm at sea.f(2) By this jest Aristophanes means to imply that tyranny is dead, and that no one aspires to despotic power, though this silly accusation was constantly being raised by the demagogues and always favourably received by the populace.f(3) A poulterer.—Strouthian, used in joke to designate him, as if from the name of his 'deme,' is derived from (the Greek for) 'a sparrow.' The birds' foe is thus grotesquely furnished with an ornithological surname.f(4) From Aphrodite (Venus), to whom he had awarded the apple, prize of beauty, in the contest of the "goddesses three."f(5) Laurium was an Athenian deme at the extremity of the Attic peninsula containing valuable silver mines, the revenues of which were largely employed in the maintenance of the fleet and payment of the crews. The "owls of Laurium," of course, mean pieces of money; the Athenian coinage was stamped with a representation of an owl, the bird of Athene.f(6) A pun, impossible to keep in English, on the two meanings of (the Greek) word which signifies both an eagle and the gable of a house or pediment of a temple.f(7) That is, birds' crops, into which they could stow away plenty of good things.f(8) The Ancients appear to have placed metal discs over statues standing in the open air, to save them from injury from the weather, etc.PISTHETAERUS Birds! the sacrifice is propitious. But I see no messenger coming from the wall to tell us what is happening. Ah! here comes one running himself out of breath as though he were running the Olympic stadium.MESSENGER Where, where is he? Where, where, where is he? Where, where, where is he? Where is Pisthetaerus, our leader?PISTHETAERUS Here am I.MESSENGER The wall is finished.PISTHETAERUS That's good news.MESSENGER 'Tis a most beautiful, a most magnificent work of art. The wall is so broad that Proxenides, the Braggartian, and Theogenes could pass each other in their chariots, even if they were drawn by steeds as big as the Trojan horse.PISTHETAERUS 'Tis wonderful!MESSENGER Its length is one hundred stadia; I measured it myself.PISTHETAERUS A decent length, by Posidon! And who built such a wall?MESSENGER Birds—birds only; they had neither Egyptian brickmaker, nor stone-mason, nor carpenter; the birds did it all themselves; I could hardly believe my eyes. Thirty thousand cranes came from Libya with a supply of stones,(1) intended for the foundations. The water-rails chiselled them with their beaks. Ten thousand storks were busy making bricks; plovers and other water fowl carried water into the air.f(1) So as not to be carried away by the wind when crossing the sea, cranes are popularly supposed to ballast themselves with stones, which they carry in their beaks.PISTHETAERUS And who carried the mortar?MESSENGER Herons, in hods.PISTHETAERUS But how could they put the mortar into hods?MESSENGER Oh! 'twas a truly clever invention; the geese used their feet like spades; they buried them in the pile of mortar and then emptied them into the hods.PISTHETAERUS Ah! to what use cannot feet be put?(1)f(1) Pisthetaerus modifies the Greek proverbial saying, "To what use cannot hands be put?"MESSENGER You should have seen how eagerly the ducks carried bricks. To complete the tale, the swallows came flying to the work, their beaks full of mortar and their trowel on their back, just the way little children are carried.PISTHETAERUS Who would want paid servants after this? But tell me, who did the woodwork?MESSENGER Birds again, and clever carpenters too, the pelicans, for they squared up the gates with their beaks in such a fashion that one would have thought they were using axes; the noise was just like a dockyard. Now the whole wall is tight everywhere, securely bolted and well guarded; it is patrolled, bell in hand; the sentinels stand everywhere and beacons burn on the towers. But I must run off to clean myself; the rest is your business.CHORUS Well! what do you say to it? Are you not astonished at the wall being completed so quickly?PISTHETAERUS By the gods, yes, and with good reason. 'Tis really not to be believed. But here comes another messenger from the wall to bring us some further news! What a fighting look he has!SECOND MESSENGER Oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! oh!PISTHETAERUS What's the matter?SECOND MESSENGER A horrible outrage has occurred; a god sent by Zeus has passed through our gates and has penetrated the realms of the air without the knowledge of the jays, who are on guard in the daytime.PISTHETAERUS 'Tis an unworthy and criminal deed. What god was it?SECOND MESSENGER We don't know that. All we know is, that he has got wings.PISTHETAERUS Why were not guards sent against him at once?SECOND MESSENGER We have d(i)spatched thirty thousand hawks of the legion of Mounted Archers.(1) All the hook-clawed birds are moving against him, the kestrel, the buzzard, the vulture, the great-horned owl; they cleave the air, so that it resounds with the flapping of their wings; they are looking everywhere for the god, who cannot be far away; indeed, if I mistake not, he is coming from yonder side.f(1) A corps of Athenian cavalry was so named.PISTHETAERUS All arm themselves with slings and bows! This way, all our soldiers; shoot and strike! Some one give me a sling!CHORUS War, a terrible war is breaking out between us and the gods! Come, let each one guard Air, the son of Erebus,(1) in which the clouds float. Take care no immortal enters it without your knowledge. Scan all sides with your glance. Hark! methinks I can hear the rustle of the swift wings of a god from heaven.f(1) Chaos, Night, Tartarus, and Erebus alone existed in the beginning; Eros was born from Night and Erebus, and he wedded Chaos and begot Earth, Air, and Heaven; so runs the fable.PISTHETAERUS Hi! you woman! where are you flying to? Halt, don't stir! keep motionless! not a beat of your wing!—Who are you and from what country? You must say whence you come.(1)f(1) Iris appears from the top of the stage and arrests her flight in mid-career.IRIS I come from the abode of the Olympian gods.PISTHETAERUS What's your name, ship or cap?(1)f(1) Ship, because of her wings, which resemble oars; cap, because she no doubt wore the head-dress (as a messenger of the gods) with which Hermes is generally depicted.IRIS I am swift Iris.PISTHETAERUS Paralus or Salaminia?(1)f(1) The names of the two sacred galleys which carried Athenian officials on State business.IRIS What do you mean?PISTHETAERUS Let a buzzard rush at her and seize her.(1)f(1) A buzzard is named in order to raise a laugh, the Greek name also meaning, etymologically, provided with three testicles, vigorous in love.IRIS Seize me! But what do all these insults mean?PISTHETAERUS Woe to you!IRIS 'Tis incomprehensible.PISTHETAERUS By which gate did you pass through the wall, wretched woman?IRIS By which gate? Why, great gods, I don't know.PISTHETAERUS You hear how she holds us in derision. Did you present yourself to the officers in command of the jays? You don't answer. Have you a permit, bearing the seal of the storks?IRIS Am I awake?PISTHETAERUS Did you get one?IRIS Are you mad?PISTHETAERUS No head-bird gave you a safe-conduct?IRIS A safe-conduct to me, you poor fool!PISTHETAERUS Ah! and so you slipped into this city on the sly and into these realms of air-land that don't belong to you.IRIS And what other roads can the gods travel?PISTHETAERUS By Zeus! I know nothing about that, not I. But they won't pass this way. And you still dare to complain! Why, if you were treated according to your deserts, no Iris would ever have more justly suffered death.IRIS I am immortal.PISTHETAERUS You would have died nevertheless.—Oh! 'twould be truly intolerable! What! should the universe obey us and the gods alone continue their insolence and not understand that they must submit to the law of the strongest in their due turn? But tell me, where are you flying to?IRIS I? The messenger of Zeus to mankind, I am going to tell them to sacrifice sheep and oxen on the altars and to fill their streets with the rich smoke of burning fat.PISTHETAERUS Of which gods are you speaking?IRIS Of which? Why, of ourselves, the gods of heaven.PISTHETAERUS You, gods?IRIS Are there others then?PISTHETAERUS Men now adore the birds as gods, and 'tis to them, by Zeus, that they must offer sacrifices, and not to Zeus at all!IRIS Oh! fool! fool! Rouse not the wrath of the gods, for 'tis terrible indeed. Armed with the brand of Zeus, Justice would annihilate your race; the lightning would strike you as it did Licymnius and consume both your body and the porticos of your palace.(1)f(1) Iris' reply is a parody of the tragic style.—'Lycimnius' is, according to the scholiast, the title of a tragedy by Euripides, which is about a ship that is struck by lightning.PISTHETAERUS Here! that's enough tall talk. Just you listen and keep quiet! Do you take me for a Lydian or a Phrygian(1) and think to frighten me with your big words? Know, that if Zeus worries me again, I shall go at the head of my eagles, who are armed with lightning, and reduce his dwelling and that of Amphion to cinders.(2) I shall send more than six hundred porphyrions clothed in leopards' skins(3) up to heaven against him; and formerly a single Porphyrion gave him enough to do. As for you, his messenger, if you annoy me, I shall begin by stretching your legs asunder, and so conduct myself, Iris though you be, that despite my age, you will be astonished. I will show you something that will make you three times over.f(1) i.e. for a poltroon, like the slaves, most of whom came to Athens from these countries.f(2) A parody of a passage in the lost tragedy of 'Niobe' of Aeschylus.f(3) Because this bird has a spotted plumage.—Porphyrion is also the name of one of the Titans who tried to storm heave.IRIS May you perish, you wretch, you and your infamous words!PISTHETAERUS Won't you be off quickly? Come, stretch your wings or look out for squalls!IRIS If my father does not punish you for your insults...PISTHETAERUS Ha!... but just you be off elsewhere to roast younger folk than us with your lightning.CHORUS We forbid the gods, the sons of Zeus, to pass through our city and the mortals to send them the smoke of their sacrifices by this road.PISTHETAERUS 'Tis odd that the messenger we sent to the mortals has never returned.HERALD Oh! blessed Pisthetaerus, very wise, very illustrious, very gracious, thrice happy, very... Come, prompt me, somebody, do.PISTHETAERUS Get to your story!HERALD All peoples are filled with admiration for your wisdom, and they award you this golden crown.PISTHETAERUS I accept it. But tell me, why do the people admire me?HERALD Oh you, who have founded so illustrious a city in the air, you know not in what esteem men hold you and how many there are who burn with desire to dwell in it. Before your city was built, all men had a mania for Sparta; long hair and fasting were held in honour, men went dirty like Socrates and carried staves. Now all is changed. Firstly, as soon as 'tis dawn, they all spring out of bed together to go and seek their food, the same as you do; then they fly off towards the notices and finally devour the decrees. The bird-madness is so clear, that many actually bear the names of birds. There is a halting victualler, who styles himself the partridge; Menippus calls himself the swallow; Opuntius the one-eyed crow; Philocles the lark; Theogenes the fox-goose; Lycurgus the ibis; Chaerephon the bat; Syracosius the magpie; Midias the quail;(1) indeed he looks like a quail that has been hit hard over the head. Out of love for the birds they repeat all the songs which concern the swallow, the teal, the goose or the pigeon; in each verse you see wings, or at all events a few feathers. This is what is happening down there. Finally, there are more than ten thousand folk who are coming here from earth to ask you for feathers and hooked claws; so, mind you supply yourself with wings for the immigrants.f(1) All these surnames bore some relation to the character or the build of the individual to whom the poet applies them.—Chaerephon, Socrates' disciple, was of white and ashen hue.—Opuntius was one-eyed.—Syracosius was a braggart.—Midias had a passion for quail-fights, and, besides, resembled that bird physically.PISTHETAERUS Ah! by Zeus, 'tis not the time for idling. Go as quick as possible and fill every hamper, every basket you can find with wings. Manes(1) will bring them to me outside the walls, where I will welcome those who present themselves.f(1) Pisthetaerus' servant, already mentioned.CHORUS This town will soon be inhabited by a crowd of men.PISTHETAERUS If fortune favours us.CHORUS Folk are more and more delighted with it.PISTHETAERUS Come, hurry up and bring them along.CHORUS Will not man find here everything that can please him—wisdom, love, the divine Graces, the sweet face of gentle peace?PISTHETAERUS Oh! you lazy servant! won't you hurry yourself?CHORUS Let a basket of wings be brought speedily. Come, beat him as I do, and put some life into him; he is as lazy as an ass.PISTHETAERUS Aye, Manes is a great craven.CHORUS Begin by putting this heap of wings in order; divide them in three parts according to the birds from whom they came; the singing, the prophetic(1) and the aquatic birds; then you must take care to distribute them to the men according to their character.f(1) From the inspection of which auguries were taken, e.g. the eagles, the vultures, the crows.PISTHETAERUS (TO MANES) Oh! by the kestrels! I can keep my hands off you no longer; you are too slow and lazy altogether.A PARRICIDE(1) Oh! might I but become an eagle, who soars in the skies! Oh! might I fly above the azure waves of the barren sea!(2)f(1) Or rather, a young man who contemplated parricide.f(2) A parody of verses in Sophocles 'Oenomaus.'PISTHETAERUS Ha! 'twould seem the news was true; I hear someone coming who talks of wings.PARRICIDE Nothing is more charming than to fly; I burn with desire to live under the same laws as the birds; I am bird-mad and fly towards you, for I want to live with you and to obey your laws.PISTHETAERUS Which laws? The birds have many laws.PARRICIDE All of them; but the one that pleases me most is, that among the birds it is considered a fine thing to peck and strangle one's father.PISTHETAERUS Aye, by Zeus! according to us, he who dares to strike his father, while still a chick, is a brave fellow.PARRICIDE And therefore I want to dwell here, for I want to strangle my father and inherit his wealth.PISTHETAERUS But we have also an ancient law written in the code of the storks, which runs thus, "When the stork father has reared his young and has taught them to fly, the young must in their turn support the father."PARRICIDE 'Tis hardly worth while coming all this distance to be compelled to keep my father!PISTHETAERUS No, no, young friend, since you have come to us with such willingness, I am going to give you these black wings, as though you were an orphan bird; furthermore, some good advice, that I received myself in infancy. Don't strike your father, but take these wings in one hand and these spurs in the other; imagine you have a cock's crest on your head and go and mount guard and fight; live on your pay and respect your father's life. You're a gallant fellow! Very well, then! Fly to Thrace and fight.(1)f(1) The Athenians were then besieging Amphipolis in the Thracian Chalcidice.PARRICIDE By Bacchus! 'Tis well spoken; I will follow your counsel.PISTHETAERUS 'Tis acting wisely, by Zeus.CINESIAS(1) "On my light pinions I soar off to Olympus; in its capricious flight my Muse flutters along the thousand paths of poetry in turn..."f(1) There was a real Cinesias—a dythyrambic poet born at Thebes.PISTHETAERUS This is a fellow will need a whole shipload of wings.CINESIAS (singing) "...and being fearless and vigorous, it is seeking fresh outlet."PISTHETAERUS Welcome, Cinesias, you lime-wood man!(1) Why have you come here a-twisting your game leg in circles?f(1) The scholiast thinks that Cinesias, who was tall and slight of build, wore a kind of corset of lime-wood to support his waist—surely rather a far-fetched interpretation!CINESIAS "I want to become a bird, a tuneful nightingale."PISTHETAERUS Enough of that sort of ditty. Tell me what you want.CINESIAS Give me wings and I will fly into the topmost airs to gather fresh songs in the clouds, in the midst of the vapours and the fleecy snow.PISTHETAERUS Gather songs in the clouds?CINESIAS 'Tis on them the whole of our latter-day art depends. The most brilliant dithyrambs are those that flap their wings in void space and are clothed in mist and dense obscurity. To appreciate this, just listen.PISTHETAERUS Oh! no, no, no!CINESIAS By Hermes! but indeed you shall. "I shall travel through thine ethereal empire like a winged bird, who cleaveth space with his long neck..."PISTHETAERUS Stop! easy all, I say!(1)f(1) The Greek word used here was the word of command employed to stop the rowers.CINESIAS "...as I soar over the seas, carried by the breath of the winds..."PISTHETAERUS By Zeus! but I'll cut your breath short.CINESIAS "...now rushing along the tracks of Notus, now nearing Boreas across the infinite wastes of the ether." (PISTHETAERUS BEATS HIM.) Ah! old man, that's a pretty and clever idea truly!PISTHETAERUS What! are you not delighted to be cleaving the air?(1)f(1) Cinesias makes a bound each time that Pisthetaerus strikes him.CINESIAS To treat a dithyrambic poet, for whom the tribes dispute with each other, in this style!(1)f(1) The tribes of Athens, or rather the rich citizens belonging to them, were wont on feast-days to give representations of dithyrambic choruses as well as of tragedies and comedies.PISTHETAERUS Will you stay with us and form a chorus of winged birds as slender as Leotrophides(1) for the Cecropid tribe?f(1) Another dithyrambic poet, a man of extreme leanness.CINESIAS You are making game of me, 'tis clear; but know that I shall never leave you in peace if I do not have wings wherewith to traverse the air.AN INFORMER What are these birds with downy feathers, who look so pitiable to me? Tell me, oh swallow with the long dappled wings.(1)f(1) A parody of a hemistich from 'Alcaeus.'—The informer is dissatisfied at only seeing birds of sombre plumage and poor appearance. He would have preferred to denounce the rich.PISTHETAERUS Oh! but 'tis a regular invasion that threatens us. Here comes another of them, humming along.INFORMER Swallow with the long dappled wings, once more I summon you.PISTHETAERUS It's his cloak I believe he's addressing; 'faith, it stands in great need of the swallows' return.(1)f(1) The informer, says the scholiast, was clothed with a ragged cloak, the tatters of which hung down like wings, in fact, a cloak that could not protect him from the cold and must have made him long for the swallows' return, i.e. the spring.INFORMER Where is he who gives out wings to all comers?PISTHETAERUS 'Tis I, but you must tell me for what purpose you want them.INFORMER Ask no questions. I want wings, and wings I must have.PISTHETAERUS Do you want to fly straight to Pellene?(1)f(1) A town in Achaia, where woollen cloaks were made.INFORMER I? Why, I am an accuser of the islands,(1) an informer...f(1) His trade was to accuse the rich citizens of the subject islands, and drag them before the Athenian court; he explains later the special advantages of this branch of the informer's business.PISTHETAERUS A fine trade, truly!INFORMER ...a hatcher of lawsuits. Hence I have great need of wings to prowl round the cities and drag them before justice.PISTHETAERUS Would you do this better if you had wings?INFORMER No, but I should no longer fear the pirates; I should return with the cranes, loaded with a supply of lawsuits by way of ballast.PISTHETAERUS So it seems, despite all your youthful vigour, you make it your trade to denounce strangers?INFORMER Well, and why not? I don't know how to dig.PISTHETAERUS But, by Zeus! there are honest ways of gaining a living at your age without all this infamous trickery.INFORMER My friend, I am asking you for wings, not for words.PISTHETAERUS 'Tis just my words that give you wings.INFORMER And how can you give a man wings with your words?PISTHETAERUS 'Tis thus that all first start.INFORMER All?PISTHETAERUS Have you not often heard the father say to young men in the barbers' shops, "It's astonishing how Diitrephes' advice has made my son fly to horse-riding."—"Mine," says another, "has flown towards tragic poetry on the wings of his imagination."INFORMER So that words give wings?PISTHETAERUS Undoubtedly; words give wings to the mind and make a man soar to heaven. Thus I hope that my wise words will give you wings to fly to some less degrading trade.INFORMER But I do not want to.PISTHETAERUS What do you reckon on doing then?INFORMER I won't belie my breeding; from generation to generation we have lived by informing. Quick, therefore, give me quickly some light, swift hawk or kestrel wings, so that I may summon the islanders, sustain the accusation here, and haste back there again on flying pinions.PISTHETAERUS I see. In this way the stranger will be condemned even before he appears.INFORMER That's just it.PISTHETAERUS And while he is on his way here by sea, you will be flying to the islands to despoil him of his property.INFORMER You've hit it, precisely; I must whirl hither and thither like a perfect humming-top.PISTHETAERUS I catch the idea. Wait, i' faith, I've got some fine Corcyraean wings.(1) How do you like them?f(1) That is, whips—Corcyra being famous for these articles.INFORMER Oh! woe is me! Why, 'tis a whip!PISTHETAERUS No, no; these are the wings, I tell you, that set the top a-spinning.INFORMER Oh! oh! oh!PISTHETAERUS Take your flight, clear off, you miserable cur, or you will soon see what comes of quibbling and lying. Come, let us gather up our wings and withdraw.CHORUS In my ethereal flights I have seen many things new and strange and wondrous beyond belief. There is a tree called Cleonymus belonging to an unknown species; it has no heart, is good for nothing and is as tall as it is cowardly. In springtime it shoots forth calumnies instead of buds and in autumn it strews the ground with bucklers in place of leaves.(1)Far away in the regions of darkness, where no ray of light ever enters, there is a country, where men sit at the table of the heroes and dwell with them always—save always in the evening. Should any mortal meet the hero Orestes at night, he would soon be stripped and covered with blows from head to foot.(2)f(1) Cleonymous is a standing butt of Aristophanes' wit, both as an informer and a notorious poltroon.f(2) In allusion to the cave of the bandit Orestes; the poet terms him a hero only because of his heroic name Orestes.PROMETHEUS Ah! by the gods! if only Zeus does not espy me! Where is Pisthetaerus?PISTHETAERUS Ha! what is this? A masked man!PROMETHEUS Can you see any god behind me?PISTHETAERUS No, none. But who are you, pray?PROMETHEUS What's the time, please?PISTHETAERUS The time? Why, it's past noon. Who are you?PROMETHEUS Is it the fall of day? Is it no later than that?(1)f(1) Prometheus wants night to come and so reduce the risk of being seen from Olympus.PISTHETAERUS Oh! 'pon my word! but you grow tiresome.PROMETHEUS What is Zeus doing? Is he dispersing the clouds or gathering them?(1)f(1) The clouds would prevent Zeus seeing what was happening below him.PISTHETAERUS Take care, lest I lose all patience.PROMETHEUS Come, I will raise my mask.PISTHETAERUS Ah! my dear Prometheus!PROMETHEUS Stop! stop! speak lower!PISTHETAERUS Why, what's the matter, Prometheus?PROMETHEUS H'sh! h'sh! Don't call me by my name; you will be my ruin, if Zeus should see me here. But, if you want me to tell you how things are going in heaven, take this umbrella and shield me, so that the gods don't see me.PISTHETAERUS I can recognize Prometheus in this cunning trick. Come, quick then, and fear nothing; speak on.PROMETHEUS Then listen.PISTHETAERUS I am listening, proceed!PROMETHEUS It's all over with Zeus.PISTHETAERUS Ah! and since when, pray?PROMETHEUS Since you founded this city in the air. There is not a man who now sacrifices to the gods; the smoke of the victims no longer reaches us. Not the smallest offering comes! We fast as though it were the festival of Demeter.(1) The barbarian gods, who are dying of hunger, are bawling like Illyrians(2) and threaten to make an armed descent upon Zeus, if he does not open markets where joints of the victims are sold.f(1) The third day of the festival of Demeter was a fast.f(2) A semi-savage people, addicted to violence and brigandage.PISTHETAERUS What! there are other gods besides you, barbarian gods who dwell above Olympus?PROMETHEUS If there were no barbarian gods, who would be the patron of Execestides?(1)f(1) Who, being reputed a stranger despite his pretension to the title of a citizen, could only have a strange god for his patron or tutelary deity.PISTHETAERUS And what is the name of these gods?PROMETHEUS Their name? Why, the Triballi.(1)f(1) The Triballi were a Thracian people; it was a term commonly used in Athens to describe coarse men, obscene debauchees and greedy parasites.PISTHETAERUS Ah, indeed! 'tis from that no doubt that we derive the word 'tribulation.'(1)f(1) There is a similar pun in the Greek.PROMETHEUS Most likely. But one thing I can tell you for certain, namely, that Zeus and the celestial Triballi are going to send deputies here to sue for peace. Now don't you treat, unless Zeus restores the sceptre to the birds and gives you Basileia(1) in marriage.f(1) i.e. the 'supremacy' of Greece, the real object of the war.PISTHETAERUS Who is this Basileia?PROMETHEUS A very fine young damsel, who makes the lightning for Zeus; all things come from her, wisdom, good laws, virtue, the fleet, calumnies, the public paymaster and the triobolus.PISTHETAERUS Ah! then she is a sort of general manageress to the god.PROMETHEUS Yes, precisely. If he gives you her for your wife, yours will be the almighty power. That is what I have come to tell you; for you know my constant and habitual goodwill towards men.PISTHETAERUS Oh, yes! 'tis thanks to you that we roast our meat.(1)f(1) Prometheus had stolen the fire from the gods to gratify mankind.PROMETHEUS I hate the gods, as you know.PISTHETAERUS Aye, by Zeus, you have always detested them.PROMETHEUS Towards them I am a veritable Timon;(1) but I must return in all haste, so give me the umbrella; if Zeus should see me from up there, he would think I was escorting one of the Canephori.(2)f(1) A celebrated misanthrope, contemporary to Aristophanes. Hating the society of men, he had only a single friend, Apimantus, to whom he was attached, because of their similarity of character; he also liked Alcibiades, because he foresaw that this young man would be the ruin of his country.f(2) The Canephori were young maidens, chosen from the first families of the city, who carried baskets wreathed with myrtle at the feast of Athene, while at those of Bacchus and Demeter they appeared with gilded baskets.—The daughters of 'Metics,' or resident aliens, walked behind them, carrying an umbrella and a stool.PISTHETAERUS Wait, take this stool as well.CHORUS Near by the land of the Sciapodes(1) there is a marsh, from the borders whereof the odious Socrates evokes the souls of men. Pisander(2) came one day to see his soul, which he had left there when still alive. He offered a little victim, a camel,(3) slit his throat and, following the example of Ulysses, stepped one pace backwards.(4) Then that bat of a Chaerephon(5) came up from hell to drink the camel's blood.f(1) According to Ctesias, the Sciapodes were a people who dwelt on the borders of the Atlantic. Their feet were larger than the rest of their bodies, and to shield themselves from the sun's rays they held up one of their feet as an umbrella.—By giving the Socratic philosophers the name of Sciapodes here Aristophanes wishes to convey that they are walking in the dark and busying themselves with the greatest nonsense.f(2) This Pisander was a notorious coward; for this reason the poet jestingly supposes that he had lost his soul, the seat of courage.f(3) Considering the shape and height of the camel, (it) can certainly not be included in the list of SMALL victims, e.g. the sheep and the goat.f(4) In the evocation of the dead, Book XI of the Odyssey.f(5) Chaerephon was given this same title by the Herald earlier in this comedy.—Aristophanes supposes him to have come from hell because he is lean and pallid.POSIDON(1) This is the city of Nephelococcygia, Cloud-cuckoo-town, whither we come as ambassadors. (TO TRIBALLUS) Hi! what are you up to? you are throwing your cloak over the left shoulder. Come, fling it quick over the right! And why, pray, does it draggle in this fashion? Have you ulcers to hide like Laespodias?(2) Oh! democracy!(3) whither, oh! whither are you leading us? Is it possible that the gods have chosen such an envoy?f(1) Posidon appears on the stage accompanied by Heracles and a Triballian god.f(2) An Athenian general.—Neptune is trying to give Triballus some notions of elegance and good behaviour.f(3) Aristophanes supposes that democracy is in the ascendant in Olympus as it is in Athens.TRIBALLUS Leave me alone.
f(3) A sophist of the island of Ceos, a disciple of Protagoras, as celebrated for his knowledge as for his eloquence. The Athenians condemned him to death as a corrupter of youth in 396 B.C.
f(4) Lovers were wont to make each other presents of birds. The cock and the goose are mentioned, of course, in jest.
f(5) i.e. that it gave notice of the approach of winter, during which season the Ancients did not venture to sea.
f(6) A notorious robber.
f(7) Meaning, "We are your oracles." —Dodona was an oracle in Epirus.—The temple of Zeus there was surrounded by a dense forest, all the trees of which were endowed with the gift of prophecy; both the sacred oaks and the pigeons that lived in them answered the questions of those who came to consult the oracle in pure Greek.
f(8) The Greek word for 'omen' is the same as that for 'bird.'
f(9) A satire on the passion of the Greeks for seeing an omen in everything.
f(10) An imitation of the nightingale's song.
f(11) God of the groves and wilds.
f(12) The 'Mother of the Gods'; roaming the mountains, she held dances, always attended by Pan and his accompanying rout of Fauns and Satyrs.
f(13) An allusion to cock-fighting; the birds are armed with brazen spurs.
f(14) An allusion to the spots on this bird, which resemble the scars left by a branding iron.
f(15) He was of Asiatic origin, but wished to pass for an Athenian.
f(16) Or Philamnon, King of Thrace; the scholiast remarks that the Phrygians and the Thracians had a common origin.
f(17) The Greek word here is also the name of a little bird.
f(18) A basket-maker who had become rich.—The Phylarchs were the headmen of the tribes. They presided at the private assemblies and were charged with the management of the treasury.—The Hipparchs, as the name implies, were the leaders of the cavalry; there were only two of these in the Athenian army.
f(19) He had become a senator.
PISTHETAERUS Halloa! What's this? By Zeus! I never saw anything so funny in all my life.(1)
f(1) Pisthetaerus and Euelpides now both return with wings.
EUELPIDES What makes you laugh?
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis your bits of wings. D'you know what you look like? Like a goose painted by some dauber-fellow.
EUELPIDES And you look like a close-shaven blackbird.
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis ourselves asked for this transformation, and, as Aeschylus has it, "These are no borrowed feathers, but truly our own."(1)
f(1) Meaning, 'tis we who wanted to have these wings.—The verse from Aeschylus, quoted here, is taken from 'The Myrmidons,' a tragedy of which only a few fragments remain.
EPOPS Come now, what must be done?
PISTHETAERUS First give our city a great and famous name, then sacrifice to the gods.
EUELPIDES I think so too.
EPOPS Let's see. What shall our city be called?
PISTHETAERUS Will you have a high-sounding Laconian name? Shall we call it Sparta?
EUELPIDES What! call my town Sparta? Why, I would not use esparto for my bed,(1) even though I had nothing but bands of rushes.
f(1) The Greek word signified the city of Sparta, and also a kind of broom used for weaving rough matting, which served for the beds of the very poor.
PISTHETAERUS Well then, what name can you suggest?
EUELPIDES Some name borrowed from the clouds, from these lofty regions in which we dwell—in short, some well-known name.
PISTHETAERUS Do you like Nephelococcygia?(1)
f(1) A fanciful name constructed from (the word for) a cloud, and (the word for) a cuckoo; thus a city of clouds and cuckoos.—'Wolkenkukelheim' is a clever approximation in German. Cloud-cuckoo-town, perhaps, is the best English equivalent.
EPOPS Oh! capital! truly 'tis a brilliant thought!
EUELPIDES Is it in Nephelococcygia that all the wealth of Theovenes(1) and most of Aeschines'(2) is?
f(1) He was a boaster nicknamed 'smoke,' because he promised a great deal and never kept his word.
f(2) Also mentioned in 'The Wasps.'
PISTHETAERUS No, 'tis rather the plain of Phlegra,(1) where the gods withered the pride of the sons of the Earth with their shafts.
f(1) Because the war of the Titans against the gods was only a fiction of the poets.
EUELPIDES Oh! what a splendid city! But what god shall be its patron? for whom shall we weave the peplus?(1)
f(1) A sacred cloth, with which the statue of Athene in the Acropolis was draped.
PISTHETAERUS Why not choose Athene Polias?(1)
f(1) Meaning, to be patron-goddess of the city. Athene had a temple of this name.
EUELPIDES Oh! what a well-ordered town 'twould be to have a female deity armed from head to foot, while Clisthenes(1) was spinning!
f(1) An Athenian effeminate, frequently ridiculed by Aristophanes.
PISTHETAERUS Who then shall guard the Pelargicon?(1)
f(1) This was the name of the wall surrounding the Acropolis.
EPOPS One of us, a bird of Persian strain, who is everywhere proclaimed to be the bravest of all, a true chick of Ares.(1)
f(1) i.e. the fighting cock.
EUELPIDES Oh! noble chick! What a well-chosen god for a rocky home!
PISTHETAERUS Come! into the air with you to help the workers who are building the wall; carry up rubble, strip yourself to mix the mortar, take up the hod, tumble down the ladder, an you like, post sentinels, keep the fire smouldering beneath the ashes, go round the walls, bell in hand,(1) and go to sleep up there yourself; then d(i)spatch two heralds, one to the gods above, the other to mankind on earth and come back here.
f(1) To waken the sentinels, who might else have fallen asleep.—There are several merry contradictions in the various parts of this list of injunctions.
EUELPIDES As for yourself, remain here, and may the plague take you for a troublesome fellow!
PISTHETAERUS Go, friend, go where I send you, for without you my orders cannot be obeyed. For myself, I want to sacrifice to the new god, and I am going to summon the priest who must preside at the ceremony. Slaves! slaves! bring forward the basket and the lustral water.
CHORUS I do as you do, and I wish as you wish, and I implore you to address powerful and solemn prayers to the gods, and in addition to immolate a sheep as a token of our gratitude. Let us sing the Pythian chant in honour of the god, and let Chaeris accompany our voices.
PISTHETAERUS (TO THE FLUTE-PLAYER) Enough! but, by Heracles! what is this? Great gods! I have seen many prodigious things, but I never saw a muzzled raven.(1)
f(1) In allusion to the leather strap which flute-players wore to constrict the cheeks and add to the power of the breath. The performer here no doubt wore a raven's mask.
EPOPS Priest! 'tis high time! Sacrifice to the new gods.
PRIEST I begin, but where is he with the basket? Pray to the Vesta of the birds, to the kite, who presides over the hearth, and to all the god and goddess-birds who dwell in Olympus.
CHORUS Oh! Hawk, the sacred guardian of Sunium, oh, god of the storks!
PRIEST Pray to the swan of Delos, to Latona the mother of the quails, and to Artemis, the goldfinch.
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis no longer Artemis Colaenis, but Artemis the goldfinch.(1)
f(1) Hellanicus, the Mitylenian historian, tells that this surname of Artemis is derived from Colaenus, King of Athens before Cecrops and a descendant of Hermes. In obedience to an oracle he erected a temple to the goddess, invoking her as Artemis Colaenis (the Artemis of Colaenus).
PRIEST And to Bacchus, the finch and Cybele, the ostrich and mother of the gods and mankind.
CHORUS Oh! sovereign ostrich, Cybele, The mother of Cleocritus,(1) grant health and safety to the Nephelococcygians as well as to the dwellers in Chios...
f(1) This Cleocritus, says the scholiast, was long-necked and strutted like an ostrich.
PISTHETAERUS The dwellers in Chios! Ah! I am delighted they should be thus mentioned on all occasions.(1)
f(1) The Chians were the most faithful allies of Athens, and hence their name was always mentioned in prayers, decrees, etc.
CHORUS ...to the heroes, the birds, to the sons of heroes, to the porphyrion, the pelican, the spoon-bill, the redbreast, the grouse, the peacock, the horned-owl, the teal, the bittern, the heron, the stormy petrel, the fig-pecker, the titmouse...
PISTHETAERUS Stop! stop! you drive me crazy with your endless list. Why, wretch, to what sacred feast are you inviting the vultures and the sea-eagles? Don't you see that a single kite could easily carry off the lot at once? Begone, you and your fillets and all; I shall know how to complete the sacrifice by myself.
PRIEST It is imperative that I sing another sacred chant for the rite of the lustral water, and that I invoke the immortals, or at least one of them, provided always that you have some suitable food to offer him; from what I see here, in the shape of gifts, there is naught whatever but horn and hair.
PISTHETAERUS Let us address our sacrifices and our prayers to the winged gods.
A POET Oh, Muse! celebrate happy Nephelococcygia in your hymns.
PISTHETAERUS What have we here? Where did you come from, tell me? Who are you?
POET I am he whose language is sweeter than honey, the zealous slave of the Muses, as Homer has it.
PISTHETAERUS You a slave! and yet you wear your hair long?
POET No, but the fact is all we poets are the assiduous slaves of the Muses, according to Homer.
PISTHETAERUS In truth your little cloak is quite holy too through zeal! But, poet, what ill wind drove you here?
POET I have composed verses in honour of your Nephelococcygia, a host of splendid dithyrambs and parthenians(1) worthy of Simonides himself.
f(1) Verses sung by maidens.
PISTHETAERUS And when did you compose them? How long since?
POET Oh! 'tis long, aye, very long, that I have sung in honour of this city.
PISTHETAERUS But I am only celebrating its foundation with this sacrifice;(1) I have only just named it, as is done with little babies.
f(1) This ceremony took place on the tenth day after birth, and may be styled the pagan baptism.
POET "Just as the chargers fly with the speed of the wind, so does the voice of the Muses take its flight. Oh! thou noble founder of the town of Aetna,(1) thou, whose name recalls the holy sacrifices,(2) make us such gift as thy generous heart shall suggest."
f(1) Hiero, tyrant of Syracuse.—This passage is borrowed from Pindar.
f(2) (Hiero) in Greek means 'sacrifice.'
PISTHETAERUS He will drive us silly if we do not get rid of him by some present. Here! you, who have a fur as well as your tunic, take it off and give it to this clever poet. Come, take this fur; you look to me to be shivering with cold.
POET My Muse will gladly accept this gift; but engrave these verses of Pindar's on your mind.
PISTHETAERUS Oh! what a pest! 'Tis impossible then to be rid of him!
POET "Straton wanders among the Scythian nomads, but has no linen garment. He is sad at only wearing an animal's pelt and no tunic." Do you conceive my bent?
PISTHETAERUS I understand that you want me to offer you a tunic. Hi! you (TO EUELPIDES), take off yours; we must help the poet.... Come, you, take it and begone.
POET I am going, and these are the verses that I address to this city: "Phoebus of the golden throne, celebrate this shivery, freezing city; I have travelled through fruitful and snow-covered plains. Tralala! Tralala!"(1)
f(1) A parody of poetic pathos, not to say bathos.
PISTHETAERUS What are you chanting us about frosts? Thanks to the tunic, you no longer fear them. Ah! by Zeus! I could not have believed this cursed fellow could so soon have learnt the way to our city. Come, priest, take the lustral water and circle the altar.
PRIEST Let all keep silence!
A PROPHET Let not the goat be sacrificed.(1)
f(1) Which the priest was preparing to sacrifice.
PISTHETAERUS Who are you?
PROPHET Who am I? A prophet.
PISTHETAERUS Get you gone.
PROPHET Wretched man, insult not sacred things. For there is an oracle of Bacis, which exactly applies to Nephelococcygia.
PISTHETAERUS Why did you not reveal it to me before I founded my city?
PROPHET The divine spirit was against it.
PISTHETAERUS Well, 'tis best to know the terms of the oracle.
PROPHET "But when the wolves and the white crows shall dwell together between Corinth and Sicyon..."
PISTHETAERUS But how do the Corinthians concern me?
PROPHET 'Tis the regions of the air that Bacis indicated in this manner. "They must first sacrifice a white-fleeced goat to Pandora, and give the prophet, who first reveals my words, a good cloak and new sandals."
PISTHETAERUS Are the sandals there?
PROPHET Read. "And besides this a goblet of wine and a good share of the entrails of the victim."
PISTHETAERUS Of the entrails—is it so written?
PROPHET Read. "If you do as I command, divine youth, you shall be an eagle among the clouds; if not, you shall be neither turtle-dove, nor eagle, nor woodpecker."
PISTHETAERUS Is all that there?
PROPHET Read.
PISTHETAERUS This oracle in no sort of way resembles the one Apollo dictated to me: "If an impostor comes without invitation to annoy you during the sacrifice and to demand a share of the victim, apply a stout stick to his ribs."
PROPHET You are drivelling.
PISTHETAERUS "And don't spare him, were he an eagle from out of the clouds, were it Lampon(1) himself or the great Diopithes."(2)
f(1) Noted Athenian diviner, who, when the power was still shared between Thucydides and Pericles, predicted that it would soon be centred in the hands of the latter; his ground for this prophecy was the sight of a ram with a single horn.
f(2) No doubt another Athenian diviner, and possibly the same person whom Aristophanes names in 'The Knights' and 'The Wasps' as being a thief.
PROPHET Is all that there?
PISTHETAERUS Here, read it yourself, and go and hang yourself.
PROPHET Oh! unfortunate wretch that I am.
PISTHETAERUS Away with you, and take your prophecies elsewhere.
METON(1) I have come to you.
f(1) A celebrated geometrician and astronomer.
PISTHETAERUS Yet another pest! What have you come to do? What's your plan? What's the purpose of your journey? Why these splendid buskins?
METON I want to survey the plains of the air for you and to parcel them into lots.
PISTHETAERUS In the name of the gods, who are you?
METON Who am I? Meton, known throughout Greece and at Colonus.(1)
f(1) A deme contiguous to Athens. It is as though he said, "Well known throughout all England and at Croydon.
PISTHETAERUS What are these things?
METON Tools for measuring the air. In truth, the spaces in the air have precisely the form of a furnace. With this bent ruler I draw a line from top to bottom; from one of its points I describe a circle with the compass. Do you understand?
PISTHETAERUS Not the very least.
METON With the straight ruler I set to work to inscribe a square within this circle; in its centre will be the market-place, into which all the straight streets will lead, converging to this centre like a star, which, although only orbicular, sends forth its rays in a straight line from all sides.
PISTHETAERUS Meton, you new Thales...(1)
f(1) Thales was no less famous as a geometrician than he was as a sage.
METON What d'you want with me?
PISTHETAERUS I want to give you a proof of my friendship. Use your legs.
METON Why, what have I to fear?
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis the same here as in Sparta. Strangers are driven away, and blows rain down as thick as hail.
METON Is there sedition in your city?
PISTHETAERUS No, certainly not.
METON What's wrong then?
PISTHETAERUS We are agreed to sweep all quacks and impostors far from our borders.
METON Then I'm off.
PISTHETAERUS I fear 'tis too late. The thunder growls already. (BEATS HIM.)
METON Oh, woe! oh, woe!
PISTHETAERUS I warned you. Now, be off, and do your surveying somewhere else. (METON TAKES TO HIS HEELS.)
AN INSPECTOR Where are the Proxeni?(1)
f(1) Officers of Athens, whose duty was to protect strangers who came on political or other business, and see to their interests generally.
PISTHETAERUS Who is this Sardanapalus?(1)
f(1) He addresses the inspector thus because of the royal and magnificent manners he assumes.
INSPECTOR I have been appointed by lot to come to Nephelococcygia as inspector.(1)
f(1) Magistrates appointed to inspect the tributary towns.
PISTHETAERUS An inspector! and who sends you here, you rascal?
INSPECTOR A decree of T(e)leas.(1)
f(1) A much-despised citizen, already mentioned. He ironically supposes him invested with the powers of an Archon, which ordinarily were entrusted only to men of good repute.
PISTHETAERUS Will you just pocket your salary, do nothing, and be off?
INSPECTOR I' faith! that I will; I am urgently needed to be at Athens to attend the assembly; for I am charged with the interests of Pharnaces.(1)
f(1) A Persian satrap.—An allusion to certain orators, who, bribed with Asiatic gold, had often defended the interests of the foe in the Public Assembly.
PISTHETAERUS Take it then, and be off. See, here is your salary. (BEATS HIM.)
INSPECTOR What does this mean?
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis the assembly where you have to defend Pharnaces.
INSPECTOR You shall testify that they dare to strike me, the inspector.
PISTHETAERUS Are you not going to clear out with your urns? 'Tis not to be believed; they send us inspectors before we have so much as paid sacrifice to the gods.
A DEALER IN DECREES "If the Nephelococcygian does wrong to the Athenian..."
PISTHETAERUS Now whatever are these cursed parchments?
DEALER IN DECREES I am a dealer in decrees, and I have come here to sell you the new laws.
PISTHETAERUS Which?
DEALER IN DECREES "The Nephelococcygians shall adopt the same weights, measures and decrees as the Olophyxians."(1)
f(1) A Macedonian people in the peninsula of Chalcidice. This name is chosen because of its similarity to the Greek word (for) 'to groan.' It is from another verb, meaning the same thing, that Pisthetaerus coins the name of Ototyxians, i.e. groaners, because he is about to beat the dealer.—The mother-country had the right to impose any law it chose upon its colonies.
PISTHETAERUS And you shall soon be imitating the Ototyxians. (BEATS HIM.)
DEALER IN DECREES Hullo! what are you doing?
PISTHETAERUS Now will you be off with your decrees? For I am going to let YOU see some severe ones.
INSPECTOR (RETURNING) I summon Pisthetaerus for outrage for the month of Munychion.(1)
f(1) Corresponding to our month of April.
PISTHETAERUS Ha! my friend! are you still there?
DEALER IN DECREES "Should anyone drive away the magistrates and not receive them, according to the decree duly posted..."
PISTHETAERUS What! rascal! you are there too?
INSPECTOR Woe to you! I'll have you condemned to a fine of ten thousand drachmae.
PISTHETAERUS And I'll smash your urns.(1)
f(1) Which the inspector had brought with him for the purpose of inaugurating the assemblies of the people or some tribunal.
INSPECTOR Do you recall that evening when you stooled against the column where the decrees are posted?
PISTHETAERUS Here! here! let him be seized. (THE INSPECTOR RUNS OFF.) Well! don't you want to stop any longer?
PRIEST Let us get indoors as quick as possible; we will sacrifice the goat inside.(1)
f(1) So that the sacrifices might no longer be interrupted.
CHORUS Henceforth it is to me that mortals must address their sacrifices and their prayers. Nothing escapes my sight nor my might. My glance embraces the universe, I preserve the fruit in the flower by destroying the thousand kinds of voracious insects the soil produces, which attack the trees and feed on the germ when it has scarcely formed in the calyx; I destroy those who ravage the balmy terrace gardens like a deadly plague; all these gnawing crawling creatures perish beneath the lash of my wing. I hear it proclaimed everywhere: "A talent for him who shall kill Diagoras of Melos,(1) and a talent for him who destroys one of the dead tyrants."(2) We likewise wish to make our proclamation: "A talent to him among you who shall kill Philocrates, the Struthian;(3) four, if he brings him to us alive. For this Philocrates skewers the finches together and sells them at the rate of an obolus for seven. He tortures the thrushes by blowing them out, so that they may look bigger, sticks their own feathers into the nostrils of blackbirds, and collects pigeons, which he shuts up and forces them, fastened in a net, to decoy others." That is what we wish to proclaim. And if anyone is keeping birds shut up in his yard, let him hasten to let them loose; those who disobey shall be seized by the birds and we shall put them in chains, so that in their turn they may decoy other men.
Happy indeed is the race of winged birds who need no cloak in winter! Neither do I fear the relentless rays of the fiery dog-days; when the divine grasshopper, intoxicated with the sunlight, when noon is burning the ground, is breaking out into shrill melody; my home is beneath the foliage in the flowery meadows. I winter in deep caverns, where I frolic with the mountain nymphs, while in spring I despoil the gardens of the Graces and gather the white, virgin berry on the myrtle bushes.
I want now to speak to the judges about the prize they are going to award; if they are favourable to us, we will load them with benefits far greater than those Paris(4) received. Firstly, the owls of Laurium,(5) which every judge desires above all things, shall never be wanting to you; you shall see them homing with you, building their nests in your money-bags and laying coins. Besides, you shall be housed like the gods, for we shall erect gables(6) over your dwellings; if you hold some public post and want to do a little pilfering, we will give you the sharp claws of a hawk. Are you dining in town, we will provide you with crops.(7) But, if your award is against us, don't fail to have metal covers fashioned for yourselves, like those they place over statues;(8) else, look out! for the day you wear a white tunic all the birds will soil it with their droppings.
f(1) A disciple of Democrites; he passed over from superstition to atheism. The injustice and perversity of mankind led him to deny the existence of the gods, to lay bare the mysteries and to break the idols. The Athenians had put a price on his head, so he left Greece and perished soon afterwards in a storm at sea.
f(2) By this jest Aristophanes means to imply that tyranny is dead, and that no one aspires to despotic power, though this silly accusation was constantly being raised by the demagogues and always favourably received by the populace.
f(3) A poulterer.—Strouthian, used in joke to designate him, as if from the name of his 'deme,' is derived from (the Greek for) 'a sparrow.' The birds' foe is thus grotesquely furnished with an ornithological surname.
f(4) From Aphrodite (Venus), to whom he had awarded the apple, prize of beauty, in the contest of the "goddesses three."
f(5) Laurium was an Athenian deme at the extremity of the Attic peninsula containing valuable silver mines, the revenues of which were largely employed in the maintenance of the fleet and payment of the crews. The "owls of Laurium," of course, mean pieces of money; the Athenian coinage was stamped with a representation of an owl, the bird of Athene.
f(6) A pun, impossible to keep in English, on the two meanings of (the Greek) word which signifies both an eagle and the gable of a house or pediment of a temple.
f(7) That is, birds' crops, into which they could stow away plenty of good things.
f(8) The Ancients appear to have placed metal discs over statues standing in the open air, to save them from injury from the weather, etc.
PISTHETAERUS Birds! the sacrifice is propitious. But I see no messenger coming from the wall to tell us what is happening. Ah! here comes one running himself out of breath as though he were running the Olympic stadium.
MESSENGER Where, where is he? Where, where, where is he? Where, where, where is he? Where is Pisthetaerus, our leader?
PISTHETAERUS Here am I.
MESSENGER The wall is finished.
PISTHETAERUS That's good news.
MESSENGER 'Tis a most beautiful, a most magnificent work of art. The wall is so broad that Proxenides, the Braggartian, and Theogenes could pass each other in their chariots, even if they were drawn by steeds as big as the Trojan horse.
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis wonderful!
MESSENGER Its length is one hundred stadia; I measured it myself.
PISTHETAERUS A decent length, by Posidon! And who built such a wall?
MESSENGER Birds—birds only; they had neither Egyptian brickmaker, nor stone-mason, nor carpenter; the birds did it all themselves; I could hardly believe my eyes. Thirty thousand cranes came from Libya with a supply of stones,(1) intended for the foundations. The water-rails chiselled them with their beaks. Ten thousand storks were busy making bricks; plovers and other water fowl carried water into the air.
f(1) So as not to be carried away by the wind when crossing the sea, cranes are popularly supposed to ballast themselves with stones, which they carry in their beaks.
PISTHETAERUS And who carried the mortar?
MESSENGER Herons, in hods.
PISTHETAERUS But how could they put the mortar into hods?
MESSENGER Oh! 'twas a truly clever invention; the geese used their feet like spades; they buried them in the pile of mortar and then emptied them into the hods.
PISTHETAERUS Ah! to what use cannot feet be put?(1)
f(1) Pisthetaerus modifies the Greek proverbial saying, "To what use cannot hands be put?"
MESSENGER You should have seen how eagerly the ducks carried bricks. To complete the tale, the swallows came flying to the work, their beaks full of mortar and their trowel on their back, just the way little children are carried.
PISTHETAERUS Who would want paid servants after this? But tell me, who did the woodwork?
MESSENGER Birds again, and clever carpenters too, the pelicans, for they squared up the gates with their beaks in such a fashion that one would have thought they were using axes; the noise was just like a dockyard. Now the whole wall is tight everywhere, securely bolted and well guarded; it is patrolled, bell in hand; the sentinels stand everywhere and beacons burn on the towers. But I must run off to clean myself; the rest is your business.
CHORUS Well! what do you say to it? Are you not astonished at the wall being completed so quickly?
PISTHETAERUS By the gods, yes, and with good reason. 'Tis really not to be believed. But here comes another messenger from the wall to bring us some further news! What a fighting look he has!
SECOND MESSENGER Oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! oh!
PISTHETAERUS What's the matter?
SECOND MESSENGER A horrible outrage has occurred; a god sent by Zeus has passed through our gates and has penetrated the realms of the air without the knowledge of the jays, who are on guard in the daytime.
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis an unworthy and criminal deed. What god was it?
SECOND MESSENGER We don't know that. All we know is, that he has got wings.
PISTHETAERUS Why were not guards sent against him at once?
SECOND MESSENGER We have d(i)spatched thirty thousand hawks of the legion of Mounted Archers.(1) All the hook-clawed birds are moving against him, the kestrel, the buzzard, the vulture, the great-horned owl; they cleave the air, so that it resounds with the flapping of their wings; they are looking everywhere for the god, who cannot be far away; indeed, if I mistake not, he is coming from yonder side.
f(1) A corps of Athenian cavalry was so named.
PISTHETAERUS All arm themselves with slings and bows! This way, all our soldiers; shoot and strike! Some one give me a sling!
CHORUS War, a terrible war is breaking out between us and the gods! Come, let each one guard Air, the son of Erebus,(1) in which the clouds float. Take care no immortal enters it without your knowledge. Scan all sides with your glance. Hark! methinks I can hear the rustle of the swift wings of a god from heaven.
f(1) Chaos, Night, Tartarus, and Erebus alone existed in the beginning; Eros was born from Night and Erebus, and he wedded Chaos and begot Earth, Air, and Heaven; so runs the fable.
PISTHETAERUS Hi! you woman! where are you flying to? Halt, don't stir! keep motionless! not a beat of your wing!—Who are you and from what country? You must say whence you come.(1)
f(1) Iris appears from the top of the stage and arrests her flight in mid-career.
IRIS I come from the abode of the Olympian gods.
PISTHETAERUS What's your name, ship or cap?(1)
f(1) Ship, because of her wings, which resemble oars; cap, because she no doubt wore the head-dress (as a messenger of the gods) with which Hermes is generally depicted.
IRIS I am swift Iris.
PISTHETAERUS Paralus or Salaminia?(1)
f(1) The names of the two sacred galleys which carried Athenian officials on State business.
IRIS What do you mean?
PISTHETAERUS Let a buzzard rush at her and seize her.(1)
f(1) A buzzard is named in order to raise a laugh, the Greek name also meaning, etymologically, provided with three testicles, vigorous in love.
IRIS Seize me! But what do all these insults mean?
PISTHETAERUS Woe to you!
IRIS 'Tis incomprehensible.
PISTHETAERUS By which gate did you pass through the wall, wretched woman?
IRIS By which gate? Why, great gods, I don't know.
PISTHETAERUS You hear how she holds us in derision. Did you present yourself to the officers in command of the jays? You don't answer. Have you a permit, bearing the seal of the storks?
IRIS Am I awake?
PISTHETAERUS Did you get one?
IRIS Are you mad?
PISTHETAERUS No head-bird gave you a safe-conduct?
IRIS A safe-conduct to me, you poor fool!
PISTHETAERUS Ah! and so you slipped into this city on the sly and into these realms of air-land that don't belong to you.
IRIS And what other roads can the gods travel?
PISTHETAERUS By Zeus! I know nothing about that, not I. But they won't pass this way. And you still dare to complain! Why, if you were treated according to your deserts, no Iris would ever have more justly suffered death.
IRIS I am immortal.
PISTHETAERUS You would have died nevertheless.—Oh! 'twould be truly intolerable! What! should the universe obey us and the gods alone continue their insolence and not understand that they must submit to the law of the strongest in their due turn? But tell me, where are you flying to?
IRIS I? The messenger of Zeus to mankind, I am going to tell them to sacrifice sheep and oxen on the altars and to fill their streets with the rich smoke of burning fat.
PISTHETAERUS Of which gods are you speaking?
IRIS Of which? Why, of ourselves, the gods of heaven.
PISTHETAERUS You, gods?
IRIS Are there others then?
PISTHETAERUS Men now adore the birds as gods, and 'tis to them, by Zeus, that they must offer sacrifices, and not to Zeus at all!
IRIS Oh! fool! fool! Rouse not the wrath of the gods, for 'tis terrible indeed. Armed with the brand of Zeus, Justice would annihilate your race; the lightning would strike you as it did Licymnius and consume both your body and the porticos of your palace.(1)
f(1) Iris' reply is a parody of the tragic style.—'Lycimnius' is, according to the scholiast, the title of a tragedy by Euripides, which is about a ship that is struck by lightning.
PISTHETAERUS Here! that's enough tall talk. Just you listen and keep quiet! Do you take me for a Lydian or a Phrygian(1) and think to frighten me with your big words? Know, that if Zeus worries me again, I shall go at the head of my eagles, who are armed with lightning, and reduce his dwelling and that of Amphion to cinders.(2) I shall send more than six hundred porphyrions clothed in leopards' skins(3) up to heaven against him; and formerly a single Porphyrion gave him enough to do. As for you, his messenger, if you annoy me, I shall begin by stretching your legs asunder, and so conduct myself, Iris though you be, that despite my age, you will be astonished. I will show you something that will make you three times over.
f(1) i.e. for a poltroon, like the slaves, most of whom came to Athens from these countries.
f(2) A parody of a passage in the lost tragedy of 'Niobe' of Aeschylus.
f(3) Because this bird has a spotted plumage.—Porphyrion is also the name of one of the Titans who tried to storm heave.
IRIS May you perish, you wretch, you and your infamous words!
PISTHETAERUS Won't you be off quickly? Come, stretch your wings or look out for squalls!
IRIS If my father does not punish you for your insults...
PISTHETAERUS Ha!... but just you be off elsewhere to roast younger folk than us with your lightning.
CHORUS We forbid the gods, the sons of Zeus, to pass through our city and the mortals to send them the smoke of their sacrifices by this road.
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis odd that the messenger we sent to the mortals has never returned.
HERALD Oh! blessed Pisthetaerus, very wise, very illustrious, very gracious, thrice happy, very... Come, prompt me, somebody, do.
PISTHETAERUS Get to your story!
HERALD All peoples are filled with admiration for your wisdom, and they award you this golden crown.
PISTHETAERUS I accept it. But tell me, why do the people admire me?
HERALD Oh you, who have founded so illustrious a city in the air, you know not in what esteem men hold you and how many there are who burn with desire to dwell in it. Before your city was built, all men had a mania for Sparta; long hair and fasting were held in honour, men went dirty like Socrates and carried staves. Now all is changed. Firstly, as soon as 'tis dawn, they all spring out of bed together to go and seek their food, the same as you do; then they fly off towards the notices and finally devour the decrees. The bird-madness is so clear, that many actually bear the names of birds. There is a halting victualler, who styles himself the partridge; Menippus calls himself the swallow; Opuntius the one-eyed crow; Philocles the lark; Theogenes the fox-goose; Lycurgus the ibis; Chaerephon the bat; Syracosius the magpie; Midias the quail;(1) indeed he looks like a quail that has been hit hard over the head. Out of love for the birds they repeat all the songs which concern the swallow, the teal, the goose or the pigeon; in each verse you see wings, or at all events a few feathers. This is what is happening down there. Finally, there are more than ten thousand folk who are coming here from earth to ask you for feathers and hooked claws; so, mind you supply yourself with wings for the immigrants.
f(1) All these surnames bore some relation to the character or the build of the individual to whom the poet applies them.—Chaerephon, Socrates' disciple, was of white and ashen hue.—Opuntius was one-eyed.—Syracosius was a braggart.—Midias had a passion for quail-fights, and, besides, resembled that bird physically.
PISTHETAERUS Ah! by Zeus, 'tis not the time for idling. Go as quick as possible and fill every hamper, every basket you can find with wings. Manes(1) will bring them to me outside the walls, where I will welcome those who present themselves.
f(1) Pisthetaerus' servant, already mentioned.
CHORUS This town will soon be inhabited by a crowd of men.
PISTHETAERUS If fortune favours us.
CHORUS Folk are more and more delighted with it.
PISTHETAERUS Come, hurry up and bring them along.
CHORUS Will not man find here everything that can please him—wisdom, love, the divine Graces, the sweet face of gentle peace?
PISTHETAERUS Oh! you lazy servant! won't you hurry yourself?
CHORUS Let a basket of wings be brought speedily. Come, beat him as I do, and put some life into him; he is as lazy as an ass.
PISTHETAERUS Aye, Manes is a great craven.
CHORUS Begin by putting this heap of wings in order; divide them in three parts according to the birds from whom they came; the singing, the prophetic(1) and the aquatic birds; then you must take care to distribute them to the men according to their character.
f(1) From the inspection of which auguries were taken, e.g. the eagles, the vultures, the crows.
PISTHETAERUS (TO MANES) Oh! by the kestrels! I can keep my hands off you no longer; you are too slow and lazy altogether.
A PARRICIDE(1) Oh! might I but become an eagle, who soars in the skies! Oh! might I fly above the azure waves of the barren sea!(2)
f(1) Or rather, a young man who contemplated parricide.
f(2) A parody of verses in Sophocles 'Oenomaus.'
PISTHETAERUS Ha! 'twould seem the news was true; I hear someone coming who talks of wings.
PARRICIDE Nothing is more charming than to fly; I burn with desire to live under the same laws as the birds; I am bird-mad and fly towards you, for I want to live with you and to obey your laws.
PISTHETAERUS Which laws? The birds have many laws.
PARRICIDE All of them; but the one that pleases me most is, that among the birds it is considered a fine thing to peck and strangle one's father.
PISTHETAERUS Aye, by Zeus! according to us, he who dares to strike his father, while still a chick, is a brave fellow.
PARRICIDE And therefore I want to dwell here, for I want to strangle my father and inherit his wealth.
PISTHETAERUS But we have also an ancient law written in the code of the storks, which runs thus, "When the stork father has reared his young and has taught them to fly, the young must in their turn support the father."
PARRICIDE 'Tis hardly worth while coming all this distance to be compelled to keep my father!
PISTHETAERUS No, no, young friend, since you have come to us with such willingness, I am going to give you these black wings, as though you were an orphan bird; furthermore, some good advice, that I received myself in infancy. Don't strike your father, but take these wings in one hand and these spurs in the other; imagine you have a cock's crest on your head and go and mount guard and fight; live on your pay and respect your father's life. You're a gallant fellow! Very well, then! Fly to Thrace and fight.(1)
f(1) The Athenians were then besieging Amphipolis in the Thracian Chalcidice.
PARRICIDE By Bacchus! 'Tis well spoken; I will follow your counsel.
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis acting wisely, by Zeus.
CINESIAS(1) "On my light pinions I soar off to Olympus; in its capricious flight my Muse flutters along the thousand paths of poetry in turn..."
f(1) There was a real Cinesias—a dythyrambic poet born at Thebes.
PISTHETAERUS This is a fellow will need a whole shipload of wings.
CINESIAS (singing) "...and being fearless and vigorous, it is seeking fresh outlet."
PISTHETAERUS Welcome, Cinesias, you lime-wood man!(1) Why have you come here a-twisting your game leg in circles?
f(1) The scholiast thinks that Cinesias, who was tall and slight of build, wore a kind of corset of lime-wood to support his waist—surely rather a far-fetched interpretation!
CINESIAS "I want to become a bird, a tuneful nightingale."
PISTHETAERUS Enough of that sort of ditty. Tell me what you want.
CINESIAS Give me wings and I will fly into the topmost airs to gather fresh songs in the clouds, in the midst of the vapours and the fleecy snow.
PISTHETAERUS Gather songs in the clouds?
CINESIAS 'Tis on them the whole of our latter-day art depends. The most brilliant dithyrambs are those that flap their wings in void space and are clothed in mist and dense obscurity. To appreciate this, just listen.
PISTHETAERUS Oh! no, no, no!
CINESIAS By Hermes! but indeed you shall. "I shall travel through thine ethereal empire like a winged bird, who cleaveth space with his long neck..."
PISTHETAERUS Stop! easy all, I say!(1)
f(1) The Greek word used here was the word of command employed to stop the rowers.
CINESIAS "...as I soar over the seas, carried by the breath of the winds..."
PISTHETAERUS By Zeus! but I'll cut your breath short.
CINESIAS "...now rushing along the tracks of Notus, now nearing Boreas across the infinite wastes of the ether." (PISTHETAERUS BEATS HIM.) Ah! old man, that's a pretty and clever idea truly!
PISTHETAERUS What! are you not delighted to be cleaving the air?(1)
f(1) Cinesias makes a bound each time that Pisthetaerus strikes him.
CINESIAS To treat a dithyrambic poet, for whom the tribes dispute with each other, in this style!(1)
f(1) The tribes of Athens, or rather the rich citizens belonging to them, were wont on feast-days to give representations of dithyrambic choruses as well as of tragedies and comedies.
PISTHETAERUS Will you stay with us and form a chorus of winged birds as slender as Leotrophides(1) for the Cecropid tribe?
f(1) Another dithyrambic poet, a man of extreme leanness.
CINESIAS You are making game of me, 'tis clear; but know that I shall never leave you in peace if I do not have wings wherewith to traverse the air.
AN INFORMER What are these birds with downy feathers, who look so pitiable to me? Tell me, oh swallow with the long dappled wings.(1)
f(1) A parody of a hemistich from 'Alcaeus.'—The informer is dissatisfied at only seeing birds of sombre plumage and poor appearance. He would have preferred to denounce the rich.
PISTHETAERUS Oh! but 'tis a regular invasion that threatens us. Here comes another of them, humming along.
INFORMER Swallow with the long dappled wings, once more I summon you.
PISTHETAERUS It's his cloak I believe he's addressing; 'faith, it stands in great need of the swallows' return.(1)
f(1) The informer, says the scholiast, was clothed with a ragged cloak, the tatters of which hung down like wings, in fact, a cloak that could not protect him from the cold and must have made him long for the swallows' return, i.e. the spring.
INFORMER Where is he who gives out wings to all comers?
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis I, but you must tell me for what purpose you want them.
INFORMER Ask no questions. I want wings, and wings I must have.
PISTHETAERUS Do you want to fly straight to Pellene?(1)
f(1) A town in Achaia, where woollen cloaks were made.
INFORMER I? Why, I am an accuser of the islands,(1) an informer...
f(1) His trade was to accuse the rich citizens of the subject islands, and drag them before the Athenian court; he explains later the special advantages of this branch of the informer's business.
PISTHETAERUS A fine trade, truly!
INFORMER ...a hatcher of lawsuits. Hence I have great need of wings to prowl round the cities and drag them before justice.
PISTHETAERUS Would you do this better if you had wings?
INFORMER No, but I should no longer fear the pirates; I should return with the cranes, loaded with a supply of lawsuits by way of ballast.
PISTHETAERUS So it seems, despite all your youthful vigour, you make it your trade to denounce strangers?
INFORMER Well, and why not? I don't know how to dig.
PISTHETAERUS But, by Zeus! there are honest ways of gaining a living at your age without all this infamous trickery.
INFORMER My friend, I am asking you for wings, not for words.
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis just my words that give you wings.
INFORMER And how can you give a man wings with your words?
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis thus that all first start.
INFORMER All?
PISTHETAERUS Have you not often heard the father say to young men in the barbers' shops, "It's astonishing how Diitrephes' advice has made my son fly to horse-riding."—"Mine," says another, "has flown towards tragic poetry on the wings of his imagination."
INFORMER So that words give wings?
PISTHETAERUS Undoubtedly; words give wings to the mind and make a man soar to heaven. Thus I hope that my wise words will give you wings to fly to some less degrading trade.
INFORMER But I do not want to.
PISTHETAERUS What do you reckon on doing then?
INFORMER I won't belie my breeding; from generation to generation we have lived by informing. Quick, therefore, give me quickly some light, swift hawk or kestrel wings, so that I may summon the islanders, sustain the accusation here, and haste back there again on flying pinions.
PISTHETAERUS I see. In this way the stranger will be condemned even before he appears.
INFORMER That's just it.
PISTHETAERUS And while he is on his way here by sea, you will be flying to the islands to despoil him of his property.
INFORMER You've hit it, precisely; I must whirl hither and thither like a perfect humming-top.
PISTHETAERUS I catch the idea. Wait, i' faith, I've got some fine Corcyraean wings.(1) How do you like them?
f(1) That is, whips—Corcyra being famous for these articles.
INFORMER Oh! woe is me! Why, 'tis a whip!
PISTHETAERUS No, no; these are the wings, I tell you, that set the top a-spinning.
INFORMER Oh! oh! oh!
PISTHETAERUS Take your flight, clear off, you miserable cur, or you will soon see what comes of quibbling and lying. Come, let us gather up our wings and withdraw.
CHORUS In my ethereal flights I have seen many things new and strange and wondrous beyond belief. There is a tree called Cleonymus belonging to an unknown species; it has no heart, is good for nothing and is as tall as it is cowardly. In springtime it shoots forth calumnies instead of buds and in autumn it strews the ground with bucklers in place of leaves.(1)
Far away in the regions of darkness, where no ray of light ever enters, there is a country, where men sit at the table of the heroes and dwell with them always—save always in the evening. Should any mortal meet the hero Orestes at night, he would soon be stripped and covered with blows from head to foot.(2)
f(1) Cleonymous is a standing butt of Aristophanes' wit, both as an informer and a notorious poltroon.
f(2) In allusion to the cave of the bandit Orestes; the poet terms him a hero only because of his heroic name Orestes.
PROMETHEUS Ah! by the gods! if only Zeus does not espy me! Where is Pisthetaerus?
PISTHETAERUS Ha! what is this? A masked man!
PROMETHEUS Can you see any god behind me?
PISTHETAERUS No, none. But who are you, pray?
PROMETHEUS What's the time, please?
PISTHETAERUS The time? Why, it's past noon. Who are you?
PROMETHEUS Is it the fall of day? Is it no later than that?(1)
f(1) Prometheus wants night to come and so reduce the risk of being seen from Olympus.
PISTHETAERUS Oh! 'pon my word! but you grow tiresome.
PROMETHEUS What is Zeus doing? Is he dispersing the clouds or gathering them?(1)
f(1) The clouds would prevent Zeus seeing what was happening below him.
PISTHETAERUS Take care, lest I lose all patience.
PROMETHEUS Come, I will raise my mask.
PISTHETAERUS Ah! my dear Prometheus!
PROMETHEUS Stop! stop! speak lower!
PISTHETAERUS Why, what's the matter, Prometheus?
PROMETHEUS H'sh! h'sh! Don't call me by my name; you will be my ruin, if Zeus should see me here. But, if you want me to tell you how things are going in heaven, take this umbrella and shield me, so that the gods don't see me.
PISTHETAERUS I can recognize Prometheus in this cunning trick. Come, quick then, and fear nothing; speak on.
PROMETHEUS Then listen.
PISTHETAERUS I am listening, proceed!
PROMETHEUS It's all over with Zeus.
PISTHETAERUS Ah! and since when, pray?
PROMETHEUS Since you founded this city in the air. There is not a man who now sacrifices to the gods; the smoke of the victims no longer reaches us. Not the smallest offering comes! We fast as though it were the festival of Demeter.(1) The barbarian gods, who are dying of hunger, are bawling like Illyrians(2) and threaten to make an armed descent upon Zeus, if he does not open markets where joints of the victims are sold.
f(1) The third day of the festival of Demeter was a fast.
f(2) A semi-savage people, addicted to violence and brigandage.
PISTHETAERUS What! there are other gods besides you, barbarian gods who dwell above Olympus?
PROMETHEUS If there were no barbarian gods, who would be the patron of Execestides?(1)
f(1) Who, being reputed a stranger despite his pretension to the title of a citizen, could only have a strange god for his patron or tutelary deity.
PISTHETAERUS And what is the name of these gods?
PROMETHEUS Their name? Why, the Triballi.(1)
f(1) The Triballi were a Thracian people; it was a term commonly used in Athens to describe coarse men, obscene debauchees and greedy parasites.
PISTHETAERUS Ah, indeed! 'tis from that no doubt that we derive the word 'tribulation.'(1)
f(1) There is a similar pun in the Greek.
PROMETHEUS Most likely. But one thing I can tell you for certain, namely, that Zeus and the celestial Triballi are going to send deputies here to sue for peace. Now don't you treat, unless Zeus restores the sceptre to the birds and gives you Basileia(1) in marriage.
f(1) i.e. the 'supremacy' of Greece, the real object of the war.
PISTHETAERUS Who is this Basileia?
PROMETHEUS A very fine young damsel, who makes the lightning for Zeus; all things come from her, wisdom, good laws, virtue, the fleet, calumnies, the public paymaster and the triobolus.
PISTHETAERUS Ah! then she is a sort of general manageress to the god.
PROMETHEUS Yes, precisely. If he gives you her for your wife, yours will be the almighty power. That is what I have come to tell you; for you know my constant and habitual goodwill towards men.
PISTHETAERUS Oh, yes! 'tis thanks to you that we roast our meat.(1)
f(1) Prometheus had stolen the fire from the gods to gratify mankind.
PROMETHEUS I hate the gods, as you know.
PISTHETAERUS Aye, by Zeus, you have always detested them.
PROMETHEUS Towards them I am a veritable Timon;(1) but I must return in all haste, so give me the umbrella; if Zeus should see me from up there, he would think I was escorting one of the Canephori.(2)
f(1) A celebrated misanthrope, contemporary to Aristophanes. Hating the society of men, he had only a single friend, Apimantus, to whom he was attached, because of their similarity of character; he also liked Alcibiades, because he foresaw that this young man would be the ruin of his country.
f(2) The Canephori were young maidens, chosen from the first families of the city, who carried baskets wreathed with myrtle at the feast of Athene, while at those of Bacchus and Demeter they appeared with gilded baskets.—The daughters of 'Metics,' or resident aliens, walked behind them, carrying an umbrella and a stool.
PISTHETAERUS Wait, take this stool as well.
CHORUS Near by the land of the Sciapodes(1) there is a marsh, from the borders whereof the odious Socrates evokes the souls of men. Pisander(2) came one day to see his soul, which he had left there when still alive. He offered a little victim, a camel,(3) slit his throat and, following the example of Ulysses, stepped one pace backwards.(4) Then that bat of a Chaerephon(5) came up from hell to drink the camel's blood.
f(1) According to Ctesias, the Sciapodes were a people who dwelt on the borders of the Atlantic. Their feet were larger than the rest of their bodies, and to shield themselves from the sun's rays they held up one of their feet as an umbrella.—By giving the Socratic philosophers the name of Sciapodes here Aristophanes wishes to convey that they are walking in the dark and busying themselves with the greatest nonsense.
f(2) This Pisander was a notorious coward; for this reason the poet jestingly supposes that he had lost his soul, the seat of courage.
f(3) Considering the shape and height of the camel, (it) can certainly not be included in the list of SMALL victims, e.g. the sheep and the goat.
f(4) In the evocation of the dead, Book XI of the Odyssey.
f(5) Chaerephon was given this same title by the Herald earlier in this comedy.—Aristophanes supposes him to have come from hell because he is lean and pallid.
POSIDON(1) This is the city of Nephelococcygia, Cloud-cuckoo-town, whither we come as ambassadors. (TO TRIBALLUS) Hi! what are you up to? you are throwing your cloak over the left shoulder. Come, fling it quick over the right! And why, pray, does it draggle in this fashion? Have you ulcers to hide like Laespodias?(2) Oh! democracy!(3) whither, oh! whither are you leading us? Is it possible that the gods have chosen such an envoy?
f(1) Posidon appears on the stage accompanied by Heracles and a Triballian god.
f(2) An Athenian general.—Neptune is trying to give Triballus some notions of elegance and good behaviour.
f(3) Aristophanes supposes that democracy is in the ascendant in Olympus as it is in Athens.
TRIBALLUS Leave me alone.