'Who threw that calthrop? Seize the knave!' Alas!the deed is done;Down went the steed, and o'er his head flew brightApollo's son.'Undo his helmet! cut the lace! pour water on hishead!''It ain't no use at all, my lord; 'cos vy? the covey'sdead!'
Above him stood the Rydal bard—his face was full ofwoe,'Now there thou liest, stiff and stark, who never feared afoe:A braver knight, or more renowned in tourney and inhall,Ne'er brought the upper gallery down than terrible Fitz-ball!'
They ledour Wordsworth to the Queen—she crownedhim with the bays,And wished him many happy years, and many quarter-days;And if you'd have the story told by abler lips thanmine,You've but to call at Rydal Mount, and taste theLaureate's wine!"
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By the Hon. G- S- S—
TheQueen she kept high festival in Winclsor's lordlyhall,And round her sat the gartered knights, and erminednobles all;There drank the valiant Wellington, there fed the waryPeel,And at the bottom of the board Prince Albert carved theveal.
"What,pantler, ho! remove the cloth! Ho! cellarer,the wine,And bid the royal nurse bring in the hope of Brunswick'sline!"Then rose with one tumultuous shout the band of Britishpeers,"God bless her sacred Majesty! Let's see the littledears!"
Now by Saint George, our patron saint, 'twas a touchingsight to seeThat iron warrior gently place the Princess on hisknee;To hear him hush her infant fears, and teach her how togapeWith rosy mouth expectant for the raisin and thegrape!
They passed the wine, the sparkling wine—they filled thegoblets up;Even Brougham, the cynic anchorite, smiled blandly onthe cup;And Lyndhurst, with a noble thirst, that nothing couldappease,Proposed the immortal memory of King William on hisknees.
"Whatwant we here, my gracious liege," cried gay LordAberdeen,"Save gladsome song and minstrelsy to flow our cupsbetween?I ask not now for Goulburn's voice or Knatchbull'swarbling lay,But where's the Poet Laureate to grace our board to-day?"
Loud laughed the Knight of Netherby, and scornfully hecried,"Or art thou mad with wine, Lord Earl, or art thyselfbeside?Eight hundred Bedlam bards have claimed the Laureate'svacant crown,And now like frantic Bacchanals run wild through Londontown!"
"Now glory to our gracious Queen!" a voice was heardto cry,And dark Macaulay stood before them all with frenziedeye;"Now glory to our gracious Queen, and all her gloriousrace,A boon, a boon, my sovran liege! Give me the Laureate'splace!
"'Twas Ithat sang the might of Rome, the glories ofNavarre;And who could swell the fame so well of Britain's Islesafar?The hero of a hundred fights———" Then Wellington upsprung,"Ho, silence in the ranks, I say! Sit down and holdyour tongue!
"By heaven, thou shalt not twist my name into a jinglinglay,Or mimic in thy puny song the thunders of Assaye!'Tis hard that for thy lust of place in peace we cannotdine.Nurse, take her Royal Highness, here! Sir Robert, passthe wine!"
"No Laureate need we at our board!" then spoke theLord of Vaux;"Here's many a voice to charm the ear with minstrelsong, I know.Even Imyself———" Then rose the cry—"A song, asong from Brougham!"He sang,—and straightway found himself alone withinthe room.
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By T- M-EE, Esq.
Oh,weep for the hours, when the little blind boyWove round me the spells of his Paphian bower;When I dipped my light wings in the nectar of joy,And soared in the sunshine, the moth of the hour!From beauty to beauty I passed, like the wind;Now fondled the lily, now toyed with the rose;And the fair, that at morn had enchanted my mind,Was forsook for another ere evening's close.
I sighed not for honour, I cared not for fame,While Pleasure sat by me, and Love was my guest;They twined a fresh wreath for each day as it came,And the bosom of Beauty still pillowed my rest:And the harp of my country—neglected it slept—In hall or by greenwood unheard were its songs;From Love's Sybarite dreams I aroused me, and sweptIts chords to the tale of her glories and wrongs,but weepfor the hour!—Life's summer is past,And the snow of its winter lies cold on my brow;And my soul, as it shrinks from each stroke of the blast,Cannot turn to a fire that glows inwardly now.
No, its ashes are dead—and, alas! Love or SongNo charm to Life's lengthening shadows can lend,Like a cup of old wine, rich, mellow, and strong,And a seat by the firetête-à-têtewith a friend.
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By A- T-.
Whowould not beThe Laureate bold,With his butt of sherryTo keep him merry,And nothing to do but to pocket his gold?'Tis Iwould be the Laureate bold!
When the days are hot, and the sun is strong,I'd lounge in the gateway all the day long,With her Majesty's footmen in crimson and gold.I'd care not a pin for the waiting-lord;But I'd lie on my back on the smooth greenswardWith a straw in my mouth, and an open vest,And the cool wind blowing upon my breast,And I'd vacantly stare at the clear blue sky,And watch the clouds as listless as I,Lazily, lazily!
And I'd pick the moss and daisies white,And chew their stalks with a nibbling bite;And I'd let my fancies roam abroadIn search of a hint for a birthday ode,Crazily, crazily!
Oh, that would be the life for me,With plenty to get and nothing to do,But to deck a pet poodle with ribbons of blue,And whistle all day to the Queen's cockatoo,Trance-somely, trance-somely!
Then the chambermaids, that clean the rooms,Would come to the windows and rest on their brooms,With their saucy caps and their crisped hair,And they'd toss their heads in the fragrant air,And sayto each other—"Just look down there,At the nice young man, so tidy and small,Who is paid for writing on nothing at all,Handsomely, handsomely!"
They would pelt me with matches and sweet pastilles,And crumpled-up halls of the royal hills,Giggling and laughing, and screaming with fun,As they'd see me start, with a leap and a run,From the broad of my back to the points of my toes,When a pellet of paper hit my nose,Teasingly, sneezingly.
Then I'd fling them bunches of garden flowers,And hyacinths plucked from the Castle bowers;And I'd challenge them all to come down to me,And I'd kiss them all till they kissèd me,Laughingly, laughingly.
Oh, would not that be a merry life,Apart from care and apart from strife,With the Laureate's wine, and the Laureate's pay,And no deductions at quarter-day?Oh, that would be the post for me!Withplenty to get and nothing to do,But to deck a pet poodle with ribbons of blue,And whistle a tune to the Queen's cockatoo,And scribble of verses remarkably few,And at evening empty a bottle or two,Quaffingly, quaffingly!
'Tis I would beThe Laureate bold,With my butt of sherryTo keep me merry,And nothing to do but to pocket my gold!
By Sir E- B- L-.
Fill meonce more the foaming pewter up!Another hoard of oysters, ladye mine!To-night Lucullus with himself shall sup.
These Mute inglorious Miltons are divine!And as I here in slippered ease recline,Quaffing of Perkins's Entire my fill,I sigh not for the lymph of Aganippe's rill.
A nobler inspiration fires my brain,Caught from Old England's fine time-hallowed drink;I snatch the pot again and yet again,And as the foaming fluids shrink and shrink,Fill me once more, I say, up to the brink!
This makes strong hearts—strong heads attest its charm—This nerves the might that sleeps in Britain's brawny arm!
But these remarks are neither here nor there.Where was I? Oh, I see—old Southey's dead!They'll want some bard to fill the vacant chair,And drain the annual butt—and oh, what headMore fit with laurel to be garlandedThanthis, which, curled in many a fragrant coil,Breathes of Castalia's streams, and best Macassar oil?
I know a grace is seated on my brow,Like young Apollo's with his golden beams—There should Apollo's bays be budding now:—And in my flashing eyes the radiance beamsThat marks the poet in his waking dreams,When, as his fancies cluster thick and thicker,He feels the trance divine of poesy and liquor.
They throng around me now, those things of air,That from my fancy took their being's stamp:There Pelham sits and twirls his glossy hair,There Clifford leads his pals upon the tramp;There pale Zanoni, bending o'er his lamp,Roams through the starry wilderness of thought,Where all is everything, and everything is nought.
Yes, I am he who sang how Aram wonThe gentle ear of pensive Madeline!How love and murder hand in hand may run,Cemented by philosophy serene,And kisses bless the spot where gore has been!Whobreathed the melting sentiment of crime,And for the assassin waked a sympathy sublime!
Yes, I am he, who on the novel shedObscure philosophy's enchanting light!Until the public, 'wildered as they read,Believed they saw that which was not in sight—Of course 'twas not for me to set them right;For in my nether heart convinced I am,Philosophy's as good as any other bam.
Novels three-volumed I shall write no more—Somehow or other now they will not sell;And to invent new passions is a bore—I find the Magazines pay quite as well.Translating's simple, too, as I can tell,Who've hawked at Schiller on his lyric throne,And given the astonished bard a meaning all my own.
Moore, Campbell, Wordsworth, their best days are grassed:Battered and broken are their early lyres,Rogers, a pleasant memory of the past,Warmed his young hands at Smithfield's martyr fires,And, worth a plum, nor bays nor butt desires.But these are tilings would suit me to the letter,For though the Stout is good, old Sherry's greatly better.A ficofor your small poetic ravers,Your Hunts, your Tennysons, your Milnes, and these!Shall they compete with him who wrote 'Maltravers,'Prologue to 'Alice or the Mysteries'?No! Even now my glance prophetic seesMy own high brow girt with the bays about.
What ho! within there, ho! another pint of Stout!
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Likeone who, waking from a troublous dream,Pursues with force his meditative theme;Calm as the ocean in its halcyon still,Calm as the sunlight sleeping on the hill;
Calm as at Ephesus great Paul was seenTo rend his robes in agonies serene;Calm as the love that radiant Luther boreTo all that lived behind him and before;
Calm as meek Calvin, when, with holy smile,He sang the mass around Servetus' pile,—So once again I snatch this harp of mine,To breathe rich incense from a mystic shrine.
Not now to whisper to the ambient airThe sounds of Satan's Universal Prayer;Not now to sing, in sweet domestic strifeThat woman reigns the Angel of our life;
But to proclaim the wish, with pious art,Which thrills through Britain's universal heart,—That on this brow, with native honours graced,The Laureate's chaplet should at length be placed.
Fearnot, ye maids, who love to hear me speak;Let no desponding tears bedim your cheek!No gust of envy, no malicious scorn,Hath this poor heart of mine with frenzy torn.
There are who move so far above the great,Their very look disarms the glance of hate;Their thoughts, more rich than emerald or gold,Enwrap them like the prophet's mantle's fold.
Fear not for me, nor think that this our age,Blind though it be, hath yet no Archimage.I, who have bathed in bright Castalia's tide,By classic Isis and more classic Clyde;
I, who have handled, in my lofty strain,All things divine, and many things profane;I, who have trod where seraphs fear to tread;I, who on mount-no, "honey-dew" have fed;
I, who undaunted broke the mystic seal,And left no page for prophets to reveal;I, who in shade portentous Dante threw;I, who have done what Milton dared not do,—
I fear no rival for the vacant throne;No mortal thunder shall eclipse my own!Let dark Macaulay chant his Roman lays,Let Monckton Milnes go maunder for the bays,
Let Simmons call on great Napoleon's shade,Let Lytton Bulwer seek his Aram's aid,LetWordsworth, ask for help from Peter Bell,Let Campbell carol Copenhagen's knell,
Let Delta warble through his Delphic groves,Let Elliott shout for pork and penny loaves,—I care not, I! resolved to stand or fall;One down, another on, I'll smash them all!
Back, ye profane! this hand alone hath powerTo pluck the laurel from its sacred bower;This brow alone is privileged to wearThe ancient wreath o'er hyacinthine hair;
These lips alone may quaff the sparkling wine,And make its mortal juice once more divine.Back, ye profane! And thou, fair Queen, rejoice:A nation's praise shall consecrate thy choice.
Thus, then, I kneel where Spenser knelt before,On the same spot, perchance, of Windsor's floor;And take, while awe-struck millions round me stand,The hallowed wreath from great Victoria's hand.
[Whyhas Satan's own Laureate never given to the world his marvellous threnody on the "Death of Space"? Who knows where the bays might have fallen, had he forwarded that mystic manuscript to the Home Office? If un-wonted modesty withholds it from the public eye, the public will pardon the boldness that tears from blushing obscurity the following fragments of this unique poem.]
Eternity shall raise her funeral-pileIn the vast dungeon of the extinguished sky,And, clothed in dim barbaric splendour, smile,And murmur shouts of elegiac joy.
While those that dwell beyond the realms of space,And those that people all that dreary void,When old Time's endless heir hath run his race,Shall live for aye, enjoying and enjoyed.
And 'mid the agony of unsullied bliss,Her Demogorgon's doom shall Sin bewail,The undying serpent at the spheres shall hiss,And lash the empyrean with his tail.
AndHell, inflated with supernal wrath,Shall open wide her thunder-bolted jaws,And shout into the dull cold ear of Death,That he must pay his debt to Nature's laws.
And when the King of Terrors breathes his last,Infinity shall creep into her shell,Cause and effect shall from their thrones be cast,And end their strife with suicidal yell:
While from their ashes, burnt with pomp of kings,'Mid incense floating to the evanished skies,Nonentity, on circumambient wings,An everlasting Phoenix shall arise.
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Thedeer may leap within the glade;The fawns may follow free—For Robin is dead, and his bones are laidBeneath the greenwood tree.
Andbroken are his merry, merry men,That goodly companie:There's some have ta'en the northern roadWith Jem of Netherbee.
The best and bravest of the bandWith Derby Ned are gone;But Earlie Gray and Charlie Wood,They stayed with Little John.
Now Little John was an outlaw proud,A prouder ye never saw;Through Nottingham and Leicester shiresHe thought his word, was law,
And he strutted through the greenwood wide,Like a pestilent jackdaw.He swore that none, but with leave of him,Should set foot on the turf so free:
And he thought to spread his cutter's rule,All over the south countrie."There's never a knave in the land," he said,"But shall pay his toll to me!"
And Charlie Wood was a taxman goodAs ever stepped the ground,He levied mail, like a sturdy thief,From all the yeomen round.
"Nay, stand!" quoth he, "thou shalt pay to meSeven pence from every pound!"
Now word has come to Little John,As he lay upon the grass,That a Friar red was in merry SherwoodWithout his leave to pass.
"Come hither, come hither, my little foot-page!Ben Hawes, come tell to me,What manner of man is this burly frereWho walks the woods so free?"
"My master good!" the little page said,"His name I wot not well,But he wears on his head a hat so red,With a monstrous scallop-shell.
"He says he is Prior of Copmanshurst,And Bishop of London town,And he comes with a rope from our father the Pope,To put the outlaws down.
"I sawhim ride but yester-tide,With his jolly chaplains three;And he swears that he has an open passFrom Jem of Netherbee!"
Little John has ta'en an arrow so broad,And broken it o'er his knee;"Now may I never strike doe again,But this wrong avenged shall be!
"And has he dared, this greasy frere,To trespass in my bound,Nor asked for leave from Little JohnTo range with hawk and hound?
"And has he dared to take a passFrom Jem of Netherbee,Forgetting that the Sherwood shawsPertain of right to me?
"O were he but a simple man,And not a slip-shod frere!I'd hang him up by his own waist-ropeAbove yon tangled brere.
"O didhe come alone from Jem,And not from our father the Pope,I'd bring him in to Copmanshurst,With the noose of a hempen rope!
"But since he has come from our father the Pope,And sailed across the sea,And since he has power to bind and loose,His life is safe for me;But a heavy penance he shall doBeneath the greenwood tree!"
"O tarry yet!" quoth Charlie Wood."O tarry, master mine!It's ill to shear a yearling hog,Or twist the wool of swine!
"It's ill to make a bonny silk purseFrom the ear of a bristly boar;It's ill to provoke a shaveling's curse,When the way lies him before.
"I've walked the forest for twenty years,In wet weather and dry,Andnever stopped a good fellowe,"Who had no coin to buy.
"What boots it to search a beggarman's bags,When no silver groat he has?So, master mine, I rede you well,E'en let the Friar pass!"
"Now cease thy prate," quoth Little John,"Thou japest but in vain;An he have not a groat within his pouch,We may find a silver chain.
"But were he as bare as a new-flayed buck,As truly he may be,He shall not tread the Sherwood shawsWithout the leave of me!"
Little John has taken his arrows and bow,His sword and buckler strong,And lifted up his quarter-staff,Was full three cloth yards long.
And he has left his merry menAt the trysting-tree behind,Andgone into the gay greenwood,This burly frere to find.
O'er holt and hill, through brake and brere,He took his way alone—Now, Lordlings, list and you shall hearThis geste of Little John.
'Tis merry, 'tis merry in gay greenwood,When the little birds are singing,When the buck is belling in the fern,And the hare from the thicket springing!
'Tis merry to hear the waters clear,As they splash in the pebbly fall;And the ouzel whistling to his mate,As he lights on the stones so small.
But small pleasaunce took Little JohnIn all he heard and saw;Till he reached the cave of a hermit oldWho wonned within the shaw.
"Ora pro nobis!" quothLittle John—His Latin was somewhat rude—"Now, holy father, hast thou seenA frere within the wood?
"By his scarlet hose, and his ruddy nose,I guess you may know him well;And he wears on his head a hat so red,And a monstrous scallop-shell."
"I have served Saint Pancras," the hermit said,"In this cell for thirty year,Yet never saw I, in the forest bounds,The face of such a frere!
"An' if ye find him, master mine,E'en take an old man's advice,An' raddle him well, till he roar again,Lest ye fail to meet him twice!"
"Trust me for that!" quoth Little John—"Trust me for that!" quoth he, with a laugh;"There never was man of woman born,That asked twice for the taste of my quarter-staff!"
ThenLittle John, he strutted on,Till he came to an open bound,And he was aware of a Red Friar,Was sitting upon the ground.
His shoulders they were broad and strong,And large was he of limb;Few yeomen in the north countrieWould care to mell with him.
He heard the rustling of the boughs,As Little John drew near;But never a single word he spoke,Of welcome or of cheer:Less stir he made than a pedlar wouldFor a small gnat in his ear!
I like not his looks! thought Little John,Nor his staff of the oaken tree.Now may our Lady be my help,Else beaten I well may be!
"What dost thou here, thou strong Friar,In Sherwood's merry round,Without the leave of Little John,To range with hawk and hound?"
"Smallthought have I," quoth the Red Friar,"Of any leave, I trow;That Little John is an outlawed thief,And so, I ween, art thou!
"Know, I am Prior of Copmanshurst,And Bishop of London town,And I bring a rope from our father the Pope,To put the outlaws down."
Then out spoke Little John in wrath,"I tell thee, burly frere,The Pope may do as he likes at home,But he sends no Bishops here!
"Up, and away, Red Friar!" he said,"Up, and away, right speedilie;An it were not for that cowl of thine,Avenged on thy body I would be!"
"Nay, heed not that," said the Red Friar,"And let my cowl no hindrance be;I warrant that I can give as goodAs ever I think to take from thee!"
LittleJohn he raised his quarter-staff,And so did the burly priest,And they fought beneath the greenwood treeA stricken hour at least.
But Little John was weak of fence,And his strength began to fail;Whilst the Friar's blows came thundering down,Like the strokes of a threshing-flail.
"Now hold thy hand, thou stalwart Friar,Now rest beneath the thorn,Until I gather breath enow,For a blast at my bugle-horn!"
"I'll hold my hand," the Friar said,"Since that is your propine,But, an you sound your bugle-horn,I'll even blow on mine!"
Little John he wound a blast so shrill'That it rang o'er rock and linn,And Charlie Wood, and his merry men all,Came lightly bounding in.
The Friarhe wound a blast so strongThat it shook both bush and tree,And to his side came witless Will,And Jem of Netherbee;With all the worst of Robin's band,And many a Rapparee!
Little John he wist not what to do,When he saw the others come;So he twisted his quarter-staff betweenHis fingers and his thumb.
"There's some mistake, good Friar!" he said,"There's some mistake 'twixt thee and meI know thou art Prior of Copmanshurst,But not beneath the greenwood tree.
"And if you will take some other name,You shall have ample leave to bide;With pasture also for your Bulls,And power to range the forest wide."
"There's no mistake!" the Friar said;"I'll call myself just what I please.My doctrine is that chalk is chalk,And cheese is nothing else than cheese."
"So be it,then!" quoth Little John;"But surely you will not object,If I and all my merry menShould treat you with reserved respect?
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"Wecan't call you Prior of Copmanshurst,Nor Bishop of London town,Nor on the grass, as you chance to pass,Can we very well kneel down.
"But you'll send the Pope my compliments,And say, as a further hint,That, within the Sherwood bounds, you sawLittle John, who is the son-in-lawOf his friend, old Mat-o'-the-Mint!"
So ends this geste of Little John—God save our noble Queen!But, Lordlings, say—Is Sherwood nowWhat Sherwood once hath been?
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There'sa pleasant place of rest, near a City of the West,Where its bravest and its best find their grave.Belowthe willows weep, and their hoary branches steepIn the waters still and deep,Not a wave!
And the old Cathedral Wall, so scathed and grey and tall.Like a priest surveying all, stands beyond;And the ringing of its bell, when the ringers ring it well,Makes a kind of tidal swellOn the pond!
And there it was I lay, on a beauteous summer's day,With the odour of the hay floating by;And I heard the blackbirds sing, and the bells demurely ring,Chime by chime, ting by ting,Droppingly.
Then my thoughts went wandering back, on a very beatentrack,To the confine deep and black of the tomb;And I wondered who he was, that is laid beneath thegrass,Where the dandelion hasSuch a bloom.
Then Istraightway did espy, with my slantly-sloping eye,A carvèd stone hard by, somewhat worn;And I read in letters cold
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Here the letters failed outright, but I knewThat a stout crusading lord, who had crossed the Jordan'sford,Lay there beneath the sward,Wet with dew.
Time and tide they passed away, on that pleasant summer'sday,And around me, as I lay, all grew old:Sank the chimneys from the town, and the clouds of vapourbrownNo longer, like a crown,O'er it rolled.
Sank the great Saint Rollox stalk, like a pile of dingy chalk;Disappeared the cypress walk, and the flowers;And a donjon-keep arose, that might baffle any foes,With its men-at-arms in rows,On the towers.
And theflag that flaunted there showed the grim andgrizzly bear,Which the Bogles always wear for their crest.And I heard the warder call, as he stood upon the wall,"Wake ye up! my comrades all,From your rest!