TOASTS—WEDDINGS. Toasts to the bride and groom are customary at the wedding breakfast or supper.
If the groom gives a farewell bachelor dinner,he should propose a toast to the bride.
THEATRE PARTIES. See also CHAPERONE-MEN.CHAPERONE-THEATRE.
THIRD PERSON-USED IN CORRESPONDENCE. While it was formerly the correct usage to begin formal communications in the third person, it is now the custom to begin such letters: MY DEAR MRS SMITH, or MADAM.
The third person would be used only in writing to a workman, a strange servant, or a business firm.
TIN WEDDING. After ten years of marriage, occurs the tin wedding. The invitations sent out may have the words: NO PRESENTS RECEIVED. Congratulations may be extended in accepting or declining the invitation.
Every conceivable device made of tin is appropriate as a gift, but, as these are limited, ingenuity may be displayed in getting up oddities. An entertainment may follow.
TIPPING.At balls. It is not customary to tip the servantsat a private ball, but at a public oneit is usual to give a tip to the attendant atthe cloak-room.
At christenings. The father usually gives the nurse at a christening a sum of money, and the mother gives her some article of dress or piece of jewelry.
At house; parties. See HOUSE PARTIES. GUESTS.TIPPING SERVANTS. Also under names ofservants—as, COACHMAN.
TITLES.MEN'S CARDS. Men having titles use them beforetheir names—as, REVEREND, REV. MR.,REV. DR., Army and Navy titles, andofficers on the retired list.
LL.D. and all professional titles are placed after the name. Political and judicial titles are always omitted.
Physicians may use DR. before or M.D. after their names. On cards intended for social use, office hours and other professional matters are omitted.
WOMEN'S CARDS. The same principles governthe titles on women's cards, with the additionthat women should never use titles of theirhusbands.
TOOTHPICKS should not be used in public. If necessityrequires it, raise the napkin over themouth, with the hand behind it, using thetoothpick as quickly as possible.
TOWN, RETURNING TO-WOMEN. Cards of the entirefamily should be sent by mail to all acquaintanceswhen returning after a prolongedabsence.
When using cards, if out of town, theplace of a woman's permanent residence canbe written on the card thus: NEW YORK.PHILADELPHIA.
TRAVELERS' VISITING-CARDS. A woman visiting a placefor a length of time should mail to her friendsa visiting-card containing her temporary address.
A man in a similar situation should call upon his friends, and if he does not find them at home should leave his card.
MEN WITH WOMEN. When traveling with a woman, a man should see to the checking and care of her baggage.
MEN. As it is exceedingly trying and difficult for a woman to stand in a railroad train while it is in motion, it is the height of good manners for a man to offer her his seat and to insist on her taking it.
EXPENSES. On a short boat or railroad trip a man should pay the expenses of a woman who accompanies him by his invitation. But on a long trip she should insist on paying her share, and he should accept her decision. Of course, he is at liberty, however, to pay all the expenses of slight entertainments-as, fruit, magazines, etc.
He should see to the care of her baggage and all other details.
PARLOR-CAR. When traveling a long distance accompanied by a woman, a man should secure seats in the parlor-car.
While it is admissible to offer assistance to a woman traveling in a parlor-car without an escort, it should be done in the most polite and delicate manner, and be perfectly agreeable to her.
WOMEN. If a woman arrives at a strange place, especially a large city, and no one meets her, she should ask the station porter to attend to her baggage and all such details, and, if traveling farther, to see to her ticket and to find for her the right train.
If at the end of her journey she gives him the address she desires to go to and her trunk checks, he should procure a carriage for her. This saves her much worry and annoyance and needless risk.
The same suggestions apply to steamboat travel.
EXPENSES. If a woman is asked by a man to take a short boat or railroad trip, he should pay her fare and all other expenses. But if on a long trip—as, a summer outing—and she is escorted by a man, she should insist on paying her own fare and all expenses, allowing him, however, to pay the expenses of slight entertainment—as, fruit, magazines, etc.
PARLOR-CAR. Her escort should attend to all details of traveling. If she is traveling alone, she should always ride in the parlor-car and have the porter attend to her wants. While it may be proper to accept in a parlor-car attentions from a man if he is accompanied by a woman, the greatest caution is required if he is alone; in fact, it is well to be on one's guard, when traveling alone, against the attentions of both men and women.
TREASURY, SECRETARY OF—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, Sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant
A social letter begins: My Dear MR. Wilson,and ends: I have the honor to remainmost sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: Hon. JohnJ. Wilson, Secretary Of Treasury.
TROUSSEAU, WEDDING. The bride exhibits the trousseau at a dinner given to the bridesmaids and maid of honor a few days before the wedding.
TURNING DOWN CORNER OF VISITING-CARDS. This should not be done.
TUXEDO. The Tuxedo coat and waistcoat are worn at all informal affairs when no women are present, such as small theatre parties (when not occupying a box), bowling and card parties, restaurants, and the like.
It may be worn on the street in theevening with a low hat. A black tie shouldalways be worn, and never, under anycircumstances, a white one.See also EVENING DRESS—MEN.
UMBRELLAS.MEN CALLING ON WOMEN. When making aformal or brief call, the umbrella should beleft in the hall.
CARRYING. Umbrellas should be carried vertically, never horizontally, thereby endangering other persons' eyes. Especially is this important when entering cars or going up long flights of steps—as, at an elevated railroad station.
USHERS. A sufficient number of ushers should be provided for to allow of two for each aisle. A good plan is to have one selected as the master of ceremonies, and for him to go to the church on the wedding-day in ample time to personally see that all the details have been carried out. They should be present at all rehearsals.
The ushers are usually presented by the groom with some small trinket, such as a pin, as a souvenir of the occasion.
CALLS. The ushers should call upon the married couple as soon as the latter have returned from their wedding trip.
CHURCH. The ushers should arrive at the church before the guests.
Each usher should have a list of all the intended guests for whom special places are set aside, and should check off the names of the guests as they arrive. He should know the various guests and where to place them; but if he does not know them personally, he should consult his list.
The upper ends of the middle aisles of both sides are usually reserved for invited guests, and are distinguished from the rest of the church by having a white ribbon or a string of flowers stretched across the aisle. The immediate family and special guests occupy the front seats, the family and the guests of the bride taking the left side and those of the groom the right side of the aisle. Other guests should be given the best seats, according to their priority in arriving.
It is in bad taste for an usher to reserve seats for his own friends as against the first-comers.
In seating guests, the usher should give his left arm to a woman and escort her to her seat while her escort follows.
Before the arrival of the bridal party the ushers take the ribbons at either end, and, walking the length of the aisle, close it against intrusion. Upon the arrival of the bride they form in pairs in the vestibule and lead the procession, followed by the bridesmaids, also in pairs. When they approach the altar they separate, one-half to the right and one-half to the left. The bridesmaids do likewise, and stand in front of the ushers.
At the conclusion of the ceremony they follow last in the procession to the vestibule, where, after giving their best wishes to the bride and congratulations to the groom, they hasten as soon as possible to the bride's home to assist in introducing and meeting the guests at the reception or breakfast.
DRESS. At a morning or afternoon wedding they wear black frock coats.
At an evening wedding they wear full evening dress, also white kid gloves, which are not removed during the ceremony. Hats should be left in the vestibule.
FLOWERS. If the boutonniers are given by the bride, they should go to her house to receive them and to have her place them in the lapels of their coats; or the boutonniers may be kept at the church in the care of the sexton.
GLOVES. For morning or an afternoon wedding the gloves are gray. At an evening wedding the gloves are white kid. The gloves are not removed during the ceremony.
JEWELRY. They wear the scarf-pins or cuff- buttons given to them by the groom.
NECKTIES. At a morning or afternoon wedding the neckties are usually of some delicate color. At an evening wedding the neckties are white, as is customary with evening dress.
WEDDING BREAKFAST. The ushers pair off with the bridesmaids, and are usually seated at a table assigned to them.
WEDDING RECEPTIONS. The ushers, should introduce the guests to the groom and bride, calling the latter "Mr. and Mrs. A.," beginning with the relatives and friends, and continuing with the others till all have been introduced. In introducing the guests, the usher should offer his arm to the woman, and if not knowing her, should ask her her name, while her escort follows and is introduced at the same time. The bride may request the usher to introduce the guests to the parents.
TIPS. It is customary for a man leaving after a house party to give to the valet who has waited upon him at least one dollar and more, in proportion for added attention.
WITH MASTER ON VISIT. As a general rule, few American men take their valets with them when they visit. But when such is the case, the valet would wait upon his master, and should give as little care to the household as possible.
MOURNING. See Widow-Mourning.
WEDDING. This should be white. While its length depends upon the wishes of the bride, the long veil is more in keeping with the traditions and customs of the ceremony.
Verbal Invitations. All invitations should be sent by mail, and verbal invitations avoided if possible; if one is given, it should be followed by one in writing.
VICE-PRESIDENT—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends, I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: My dear Mr.Wilson, and ends: I have the honor to remainmost sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: The Vice-President, John J. Wilson.
VISCOUNT—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letterbegins: My Lord, and ends: I have the honorto be your Lordship's obedient servant.
The address on the envelope is: TheRight Honorable Viscount Wilson.
A social letter begins: Dear LordWilson, and ends: Believe me, my dear LordWilson, very sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: To theViscount Wilson.
VISCOUNTESS—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letterbegins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor toremain your Ladyship's most obedient servant.
The address on the envelope reads: To theRight Honorable, the Viscountess of Kent.
A social letter begins: Dear Lady Kent,and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Kent,sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope reads: To theViscountess of Kent.
DAUGHTER OF. See Daughter of Viscount.
WIFE OF YOUNGER SON. See Wife of YoungerSon of Viscount.
YOUNGER SON OF. See Son (Younger) of Viscount.
Visiting-cards. See Cards, Visiting.
VISITORS TO TOWN—CARDS. Visitors to town should send cards to every one whom they desire to see, with the address written on the cards.
VOUCHERS. These are safeguards against the admission of uninvited guests at a subscription ball, and take the form of cards to be shown at the door.
When a person sends one of these vouchers and an invitation to a person, he should enclose one of his calling cards.
"WALLFLOWERS." This is the name commonly applied to young women at a ball who do not dance because of lack of partners. It should be the aim of the hostess, with the aid of her sons and daughters, to find partners for such young women.
WAR, SECRETARY OF—HOW ADDRESSED, An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson,and ends: I have the honor to remain mostsincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: Hon. JohnJ. Wilson, Secretary of War.
BREAKFAST. See Wedding Reception or Breakfast.
CAKE. At the conclusion of the wedding break- fast the cake is placed before the bride, who first cuts a piece, and then it is passed to the others. More often it is put up in small white boxes and given to the guests, or the boxes containing the cake are placed on a table in the hallway, and the guests each take one on their departure.
DAY. The wedding-day is named by the bride, and her mother's approval is asked by the groom.
It is not customary for the bride to see the groom on the wedding-day till she meets him at the altar.
KISS. The kiss in the ceremony is being done away with, especially at church weddings. Only the bride's parents and her most intimate friends should kiss her, and for others to do so is no longer good form.
RECEPTIONS OR BREAKFASTS. The married couple, on arriving at the house of the bride, place themselves in a convenient location, and, assisted by the best man, maid of honor, and the parents of both parties, receive the invited guests. Congratulations are given to the groom and best wishes to the bride.
A reception is more often given than a breakfast, as it allows more invitations and more freedom, and the refreshments are placed on the tables, so that the guests help themselves or are served by the bridesmaids.
The guests wait upon the married couple.
At a breakfast, when the congratulations are over, the breakfast is announced, and the married couple lead the way to the table reserved for them. Parents of both parties, the best man, and the maid of honor are usually placed at this table.
Guests leave a card for the host and hostess and another for the married couple.
Invitations are sent with the wedding invitations, but only to the nearest relatives and friends.
They should be immediately acknowledged, either by letter of acceptance or declination with regret.
TRIP. All details should be arranged before- hand by the best man, who knows the destination, and should keep it an inviolate secret, revealing it only in case of accident.
It is becoming the fashion for the married couple to do away with the trip, and instead to begin their married life in their own home.
VEIL. This should be white. While its lengthdepends upon the wishes of the bride, thelong veil is more in keeping with thetraditions and customs of the wedding ceremony.
WOMEN-CARDS. When invitations have beenreceived to the church but not to thewedding reception, cards should be sent to thebride's parents and to the bridal couple.
AISLE PROCESSION. See Weddings-ProcessionUp the Aisle.
ANNIVERSARIES. See Anniversaries-Wedding.
ANNOUNCEMENTS. Announcement cards are sent the day after the wedding, and need not be acknowledged. They should be prepared beforehand and ready to be mailed. The expense is borne by the family of the bride. At a home or a private wedding, announcement cards can be sent to friends out of town.
AT HOME. See Home Weddings.
BEST MAN. See Best Man.
BEST WISHES. Best wishes should be given to the bride and congratulations to the groom.
BOUQUETS. The bouquet carried by the bride is furnished by the groom, who may also provide bouquets for the bridesmaids if he wishes.
BRIDE. See Bride.
BRIDESMAIDS. See Bridesmaids.
CAKE. See Wedding Cake.
CALLS. See Weddings-Invitations-Calls.
CARDS OF ADMISSION TO CHURCH. These cards are used at all public weddings held in churches, and when used no one should be admitted to the church without one. They are sent with the wedding invitations.
They are kept in stock by the stationer, and are not expensive.
CARDS, VISITING, AFTER MARRIAGE. Mr. and Mrs. cards are used by the wife only within one year after the marriage, after which separate cards are in order. These Mr. and Mrs. cards are used in sending gifts, congratulations, condolence, and at ceremonious affairs, when both the husband and wife are represented.
CARRIAGES. Carriages should be provided to take the bride and her family to the church and back to the house, and also the guests from the church to the receptions.
The expense is borne by the family of the bride, save for the carriage used by the groom, which takes him and the best man to the church, and later takes the married couple to the house, and after the reception, to the station.
CHOIR-BOYS. See CHOIR-BOYS AT WEDDINGS.
CONGRATULATIONS. Congratulations may be sent with letter of acceptance or declination of an invitation to a wedding to those sending the invitations. And if acquaintance with bride and groom warrant, a note of congratulations may be sent to them also.
Guests in personal conversation with the latter give best wishes to the bride and congratulations to the groom.
CHURCH. See BEST MAN—CHURCH. BRIDE—CHURCH.BRIDESMAIDS—CHURCH. GROOM—CHURCH. USHERS-CHURCH.
DANCES. It is not usual to have dances after thewedding.
DEPARTURE OF MARRIED COUPLE. See WEDDINGS—MARRIEDCOUPLE.
DRESS. See BEST MAN—DRESS. BRIDE—DRESS.GROOM-DRESS. WEDDINGS-GUESTS-DRESS,ETC.
EXPENSES. All the expenses are borne by the bride's family, except the fees for the license, clergyman, organist, and sexton. The wedding-ring, the carriages for the groom, ushers, best man, and the carriage which takes away the married couple, are also paid for by the groom.
He also furnishes souvenirs to the maid of honor and bridesmaids, best man and ushers, and all expenses of the wedding trip.
If the groom gives a farewell bachelor dinner,he bears all expenses.
FAREWELL BACHELOR DINNERS. See Groom-Farewell Dinner.
FAREWELL BRIDAL LUNCHEON. See Bride—Farewell Luncheons.
FEES. The wedding fee, preferably gold or clean bills in sealed envelope, is given by the best man to the officiating clergyman. Custom leaves the amount to the groom, who should give at least five dollars or more, in proportion to his income and social position. The clergyman usually gives the fee to his wife.
FLOWER GIRLS. See Flower Girls.
FLOWERS are in general use. The quantity andquality of floral decorations must dependupon the taste and the wealth of the partiesconcerned.
BRIDE. The bride, if she desires, carries at thewedding ceremony a bouquet given by thegroom. Flowers are sometimes dispensedwith, and a Prayer-Book used.
CHURCH. In addition to the palms in the chancel,a string of flowers or white ribbons is stretchedacross the middle aisle, to reserve this placefor the immediate family and specially invited guests.
USHERS. Boutonnieres, provided by the bride's family, should be given to the sexton by the florist on the wedding-day. They may be made of lilies of the valley, white roses, or the like.
Sometimes the ushers call at the house of the bride to have her fix them in the lapel of their coats.
GIFTS. The nearest members of each family should arrange among themselves what gifts to send, and thus avoid duplicates. Expensive presents are sent only by most intimate friends, and articles of utility by relatives or near friends. All gifts should be sent within two months of date of marriage, and should have thereon the woman's maiden name, initial cipher, or monogram, and should be acknowledged by the bride at the earliest moment, and not later than ten days after her marriage.
It is not in good taste to make an ostentatious display of the gifts, and if they are exhibited, the cards of the donors should be removed, and only intimate friends invited.
Those sending gifts should have the courtesy of an invitation to the wedding breakfast or reception.
If any gifts are sent to the groom, they should bear his initial.
A wedding invitation does not necessarily imply that a gift must be sent, as the sending of a gift is optional.
GROOM. See Groom.
GUESTS-BREAKFASTS OR RECEPTIONS. The invited guests leave the church for the bride's residence, and there are introduced by the ushers to the married couple and those standing up with them. If the guests are unknown to the ushers, they should give their names to one of them, who offers his left arm to the woman, while her escort follows and is introduced at the same time.
At the breakfast, guests are usually assigned places, but, if not, may take any seat. Only the specially invited guests await the departure of the married couple, which ends the reception or breakfast.
If boxes of wedding-cake are placed on atable, each guest takes one on his departure.
GUESTS-CALLS. Invited guests should call atleast within ten days and leave their cards.
DRESS. Broadly speaking, at a morning or afternoon wedding the guest wears afternoon dress, and at an evening wedding evening dress. From the latter rule there are no deviations possible, but in the former there is greater latitude. Thus it would be possible for a man to wear a black cutaway coat at an afternoon wedding.
MEN. If the wraps are not left in the carriage, they are removed in the vestibule and are carried on the arm into the pew. A man follows the woman, who is escorted to the pew by the usher. At the end of the ceremony the guests should not leave until the immediate family have passed out.
Guests who are not invited to the breakfast or reception should not take offense, as the number present on such occasions is necessarily limited. These guests may seat themselves or are seated by the ushers, but not in the pews reserved for the family and specially invited guests.
WOMEN. No one should be present at a wedding in mourning, and it should be laid aside temporarily even by the mother, who wears purple velvet or silk. Women on entering the church take the usher's left arm, and are escorted to the pew, while their escort follows behind.
If they are immediate members of the family or are specially invited guests, they should give their names to the usher that he may seat them in the places reserved for them.
HATS OF GROOM AND OF BEST MAN. To do away with the possibility of the best man having to take care of the hats of groom and best man during the wedding ceremony, it is a good plan for both groom and best man to leave them in the vestry, and to have them carried out to the front of the church, ready for them at the end of the ceremony.
HOME See Home Weddings.
HOST. See Father of Bride.
HOSTESS. See Mother of Bride.
HOURS. Any hour from nine in the morning to nine in the evening is appropriate.
The morning hours are usually selected for quiet home affairs; twelve o'clock, or high noon, is still considered as the fashionable hour, while from three to six is the hour most convenient for all concerned.
Evening weddings are not very convenient, chiefly because it is not as easy to handle the details as in the daytime.
INVITATIONS. The woman's parents, guardians, or others give the wedding, send out the invitations, and bear all the expense of engraving and sending out the same. They are issued in the name of the one giving the wedding, and should be sent to near-by friends about twenty days in advance of the wedding day and earlier to out-of-town friends. With them are sent the invitation to the wedding breakfast or reception, and also the card of admission to the church.
The groom should supply a list of names of such persons as he desires to have present, designating his preference for those to be present at the breakfast or reception.
In addressing wedding invitations, two envelopes are used. The inner one, unsealed, bears the name only of the person addressed, and is enclosed in another envelope, sealed, bearing the address of the person invited.
Parents should, of course, order these invitations of a fashionable dealer in stationery, that good taste may be observed.
If the invitation contains an invitation to the breakfast or reception, it should be accepted or declined at once, and the answer sent to those issuing the invitation. If the invitation does not include a breakfast or reception invitation, no acknowledgment is necessary.
Should the wedding, however, be at home, and the guests limited in number, an acknowledgment should be sent.
If the invitations bear the letters R. S. V. P. an acknowledgment is necessary.
BRIDESMAIDS. At a large church wedding several invitations are usually given to the bridesmaids for their own personal use.
CALLS. Very intimate friends can call personally. Friends of the groom who have no acquaintance with the bride's family should send their cards to those inviting them.
Those who do not receive with wedding invitations and announcements At Home cards should not call, but consider themselves dropped from the circle of acquaintances of the married couple.
CARDS, LEAVING. If a person is invited to a wedding at a church, but not to the reception or breakfast, a card should be left or mailed both to the bride's parents and to the married couple.
Those present at the ceremony should leave cards in person for those inviting them, and if this is not possible, they can send them by mail or messenger.
Those invited but not present should send cards to those who invited them.
RECALLED. When for some good reason a wedding has to be canceled or postponed, the parents of the bride should, as soon as possible, send printed notices, giving the reasons, to all the invited guests.
JOURNEY. See Wedding Trip.
MAID OF HONOR. See Maid of Honor.
MARKING GIFTS. See Marking Wedding Gifts.
MARRIED COUPLE. Immediately after the wedding breakfast or reception, the bride, with her maid of honor, retires to change her clothes for those suitable for travel. The groom, with his best man, does likewise, and waits for his wife at the foot of the stairs.
As she comes down the stairs she lets fall her bridal bouquet among the bridesmaids, who strive to secure it, as its possession is deemed a lucky sign of being the next bride.
As the couple pass out of the front door it is customary for the guests to throw after them, for luck, rice, rose leaves, flowers, old shoes, etc.
The form to be used in signing the hotel register is: Mr. and Mrs. John K. Wilson. Good taste and a desire for personal comfort demand that their public acts and words be not of such a character as to attract attention.
See also Wedding Trip.
AT HOME. At the end of the wedding trip they proceed to their own home, and immediately send out their At Home cards, unless they have followed the better plan of enclosing them with their wedding cards.
They are at perfect liberty to send them to whom they please, and thus to select their friends. At these "At Homes" light refreshment is served, and the married couple wear full evening dress.
They are generally given a dinner by the bridesmaids, and are entertained by both families in appropriate ways.
MEN-DRESS. At a morning or afternoon wedding the groom, best man, and ushers wear afternoon dress, but at an evening wedding they wear evening dress.
For further details see Best Man—Dress.Groom—Dress. Ushers—Dress.
MOURNING should not be worn at a wedding, but should be laid aside temporarily, the wearer appearing in purple.
MUSIC. The organist and the music are usually selected by the bride. Before the arrival of the bride the organist plays some bright selection, but on her entering the church and passing up the aisle he plays the Wedding March.
PAGES. See Pages.
PRIVATE. See Private Wedding.
PROCESSION UP THE AISLE. Many styles are adopted for the procession up the aisle. A good order is for the ushers to come first in pairs, then the bridesmaids, maid of honor, and last the bride on her father's arm. At the altar the ushers and bridesmaids open ranks to allow the bride to pass through.
This order is usually reversed in the processiondown the aisle.
RECALLING INVITATIONS. See Wedding Invitations(Recalled).
RECEPTIONS. See Wedding Receptions.
REHEARSALS. Rehearsals should be held even for a quiet home wedding, and at a sufficiently early date to insure the presence of all who are to participate.
REPORTERS. See Reporters—Weddings.
RIBBONS. See Ribbons at Church Weddings.
RICE. See Weddings—Throwing of Rice.
RING. This may be dispensed with, save in the Roman Catholic and in the Episcopal Church service. It is usually of plain gold, with initials of bride and groom and date of marriage engraved therein.
It is bought by the groom, who should give it to the best man to be kept till it is called for by the clergyman during the ceremony. It is worn on the third finger of the bride's left hand.
SECOND MARRIAGES. See Widows—Weddings.
SIGNING THE REGISTER. This is sometimes done by the bride and the groom, and takes place in the vestry, where the best man signs as chief witness and some of the guests as witnesses.
SOUVENIRS. See Souvenirs.
THROWING OF RICE. The throwing of rice is to be discouraged, but if it is to be done, the maid of honor should prepare packages of rice and hand them to the guests, who throw it after the bridal couple as they leave the house for their wedding trip.
TOASTS. Toasts to the bride and groom are customaryat the wedding breakfast.
If the groom gives a farewell bachelor dinner,he should propose a toast to the bride.
TROUSSEAU. See Trousseau.
USHERS. See USHERS
WHITE RIBBONS. See RIBBONS.
WIDOWS. See WIDOWS—WEDDINGS.
WOMEN—DRESS. Women wear afternoon orevening dress, as the occasion requires.See also WIDOWS. GUESTS.WEDDINGS—GUESTS. WEDDINGS—WIDOWS.
WHITE RIBBONS AT WEDDINGS. See RIBBONS.
WIDOWS.CARD. During the first year of mourning awidow has no cards, as she makes no formalvisits. After the first year, cards with borderof any desired depth are used.
Either the husband's name or the widow's baptismal name may be used, but if in the immediate family the husband's name is duplicated, she should use her own name to avoid confusion. When her married son has his father's full name, the widow should add SR. to hers, as the son's wife is entitled to the name.
MOURNING. A widow should wear crape with a bonnet having a small border of white. The veil should be long and worn over the face for three months, after which a shorter veil may be worn for a year, and then the face may be exposed. Six months later white and lilac may be used, and colors resumed after two years.
STATIONERY, MOURNING. A widow's stationery should be heavily bordered, and is continued as long as she is in deep mourning. This is gradually decreased, in accordance with her change of mourning.
All embossing or stamping should be done in black.
WEDDINGS. Widows should avoid anything distinctively white, even in flowers—especially white orange blossoms and white veil, these two being distinctively indicative of the first wedding. If she wishes, she can have bridesmaids and ushers. Her wedding-cards should show her maiden name as part of her full name.
WIDOWERS—STATIONERY, MOURNING. The width of black on his stationery should be reduced as the interval is diminished.
All stamping should be in black.
WIFE—CARDS. Only the wife of the oldest member of the oldest branch may use her husband's name without the initials.
WIFE AND HUSBAND—CARDS, VISITING. When the wife is calling, she can leave cards of the husband and sons if it is impossible for them to do so themselves.
After an entertainment cards of the family can be left for the host and hostess by either the wife or any of the daughters.
WIFE OF BARONET—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letterbegins: Madam, and ends: I have the honorto remain your Ladyship's most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: Dear Lady Wilson,and ends: Believe me, Lady Wilson, sincerelyyours,
The address on the envelope is: To LadyWilson.
WIFE OF A KNIGHT—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letterbegins: Madam, and ends: I have the honorto remain your Ladyship's most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: Dear Lady Wilson,and ends: Believe me, Lady Wilson, sincerelyyours.
The address on the envelope reads: ToLady Wilson.
WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF BARON—HOW ADDRESSED.An official letter begins: Madam, and ends:I have the honor to remain, madam, yourobedient servant.
A social letter begins: Dear Mrs. Wilson,and ends: Sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: To theHonorable Mrs. Wilson.
WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF DUKE—HOW ADDRESSED.An official letter begins: Madam, and ends:I have the honor to remain, your Ladyship'smost obedient servant.
The address on the envelope is: To theRight Honorable the Lady John Kent.
A social letter begins: Dear Lady JohnKent, and ends: Believe me, dear Lady JohnKent, faithfully yours.
The address is: To the Lady John Kent.
WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF EARL—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain, madam, your obedient servant.
A social letter begins: Dear Mrs. Wilson,and ends: Believe me, Mrs. Wilson, sincerelyyours.
The address on the envelope is: To theHonorable Mrs. Wilson.
WIFE Of YOUNGER SON OF MARQUIS—HOW ADDRESSED.An official letter begins: Madam, and ends:I have the honor to remain your Ladyship'smost obedient servant.
The address on the envelope is: To theRight Honorable, The Lady John Kent.
A social letter begins: Dear Lady John Kent, and ends:Believe me, dear Lady John Kent, faithfully yours.
The address is: To the Lady John Kent.
WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF VISCOUNT—HOW ADDRESSED.An official letter begins: Madam, and ends:I have the honour to remain, madam, yourobedient servant.
A social letter begins: Dear Mrs. Wilson,and ends: Sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: To theHonorable Mrs. Wilson.
WINE. A guest not caring for wine should turn down his glass and leave it in that position, or a mere sign of dissent when it is offered is sufficient.
WITNESSES AT WEDDINGS. If witnesses are needed, the best man selects them, and himself signs as the chief witness.
WOODEN WEDDINGS. Five years after the marriage comes the wooden wedding. On the invitations sent out may be engraved, if desired, No presents received. Congratulations may be extended in accepting or declining these invitations.
Those invited make suitable presents, and on this occasion any device made of wood is appropriate, including articles of utility—as, kitchen utensils, household ornaments, etc.
An entertainment usually follows,
WOOLEN WEDDINGS. This is the name of the fortieth wedding anniversary, and is seldom celebrated. The invitations may have the words: No presents received, and in accepting or declining the invitations, congratulations may be sent.
An entertainment should be provided, and any article of woolen would be appropriate as a gift.
WOMEN.BACHELOR'S DINNERS. Women do not call upona bachelor after attending a dinner given byhim.
CONDUCT TOWARD MEN. Male acquaintances should be carefully chosen, and great care exercised in accepting invitations from them.
When declining invitations from a man personally given, explanations are not necessary. If they are deemed desirable, they should be given as delicately as possible and without giving offence.
It is well never to receive men alone, unless they are most intimate friends. Compromising positions are easily fallen into, and a woman should be constantly on her guard.
WOMEN SERVANTS—TIPS. It is customary for guests at the end of a house-party visit to give tips to the maid for extra attention and taking care of the room, and also to the cook. The latter is usually tipped by the married men and bachelors.
AFTERNOON DRESS. See AFTERNOON DRESS—WOMEN.
AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL)—WOMEN. AFTERNOON TEAS (INFORMAL)—WOMEN.
BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS—WOMEN.
BACHELORS' TEAS. See BACHELORS' TEAS—WOMEN.
BALLS. See BALLS—WOMEN.
BOWING. See BOWING—WOMEN.
BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS—WOMEN.
CALLS. See CALLS—WOMEN.
CARDS. See CARDS (VISITING)—WOMEN.
CHAPERONE. See CHAPERONE.
CHRISTENINGS. See CHRISTENINGS—WOMEN.
CONCLUSION OF LETTERS. See Conclusion of aLetter—Women.
COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS. See Cotillionsby Subscriptions—Women.
DANCES. See Dances—Women.
DANCING. See Dancing—Women.
DINNERS. See Dinners—Women.
DRESS. See Dress—Women.
DRIVING. See Driving—Women.
ENGAGEMENT. See Engagement—Women.
EVENING DRESS. See Evening Dress—Women.
FUNERALS. See Funerals—Women.
GARDEN PARTIES. See Garden Parties—Women.
GLOVES. See Gloves—Women.
HIGH TEA. See High Tea—Women.
HOUSE PARTIES. See House Parties—Women.
INTRODUCTIONS. See Introductions—Women.
INVITATIONS. See Invitations—Women.
LETTERS. See fetters-Women.
LUNCHEONS. See Luncheons—Women.
MORNING DRESS. See Morning Dress—Women.
MOURNING. See Mourning—Women.
MOURNING CARDS. See Mourning Cards—Women.
NEW ACQUAINTANCE. See New Acquaintances—Women.
NEWCOMERS. See Newcomers—Residents' Dutyto Women.
RIDING. See Riding—Women.
SALUTATIONS. See Salutations—Women.
SHAKING HANDS. See Shaking Hands—Women.
STATIONERY. See Stationery—Women.
STREET-CARS. See Street-cars—Women.
STREET ETIQUETTE. See Street Etiquette—Women.
THEATRE PARTIES. See Theatre Parties—Women.
TITLES. See Titles—Women.
TRAVELING. See Traveling—Women.
WEDDINGS. See Weddings—Women.
WRITTEN CARDS are in bad taste, but in case of necessity may be used. The name should be written in full if not too long, and should be the autograph of the sender.
YOUNGER SON. See Son (Younger).