Enter SirGeorge.
Cursedly out of Humour at his Disappointment; see how he looks! Ha, ha, ha.
SirGeo.Ah,Charles, I am so humbled in my Pretensions to Plots upon Women, that I believe I shall never have Courage enough to attempt a Chamber-maid agen—I'll tell thee.
Char.Ha, ha; I'll spare you the Relation by telling you— Impatient to know your Business with my Father, when I saw you Enter, I slipt back into the next Room, where I overheard every Syllable.
SirGeo.That I said— But I'll be hang'd if you heard her Answer—. But prithee tell me,Charles, is she a Fool?
Char.I ne'er suspected her for one; butMarplotcan inform you better, if you'll allow him a Judge.
Marpl.A Fool! I'll justifie she has more Wit than all the rest of her Sex put together; why she'll Rally me, till I han't one word to say for my self.
Char.A mighty Proof of her Wit truly—
Marpl.There must be some Trick in't, SirGeorge; Egad I'll find it out if it cost me the Sum you paid for't.
SirGeo.Do and Command me—
Marpl.Enough, let me alone to Trace a Secret.—
EnterWhisper, and speaks aside to his Master.
The Devil!Whisperhere agen, that Fellow never speaks out; is this the same, or a new Secret? SirGeorge, won't you askCharleswhat NewsWhisperbrings?
SirGeo.Not I, Sir; I suppose it does not relate to me.
Marpl.Lord, Lord, how little Curiosity some People have! Now my chief Pleasure lies in knowing every Body's Business.
SirGeo.I fancy,Charles, thou hast some Engagement upon thy Hands: I have a little Business too.Marplot, if it falls in your way to bring me any Intelligence fromMiranda, you'll find me at the Thatch'd House at Six—
Marpl.You do me much Honour.
Char.You guess right, SirGeorge, wish me Success.
SirGeo.Better than attended me.Adieu.
(Exit.
Char. Marplot, you must Excuse me.—
Marpl.Nay, nay, what need of any Excuse amongst Friends! I'll go with you.
Char.Indeed you must not.
Marpl.No, then I suppose 'tis a Duel, and I will go to secure ye.
Char.Secure me, why you won't fight.
Marpl.What then! I can call People to part ye.
Char.Well, but it is no Duel, Consequently no Danger. Therefore prithee be Answer'd.
Marpl.What is't a Mistress then?— Mum— You know I can be silent upon occasion.
Char.I wish you cou'd be Civil too: I tell you, You neither Must nor Shall go with me. Farewel.
(Exit.
Marpl.Why then— I Must and Will follow you.
Exit.
The End of the Second Act.
ACT the Third
EnterCharles.
Char.WELL, here's the House, which holds the Lovely Prize quiet and serene; here no noisie Footmen throng to tell the World, that Beauty dwells within; no Ceremonious Visit makes the Lover wait; no Rival to give my Heart a Pang; who wou'd not scale the Window at Midnight without fear of the Jealous Father's Pistol, rather than fill up the Train of a Coquet, where every Minute he is jostled out of Place.(Knocks softly.)Mrs.Patch, Mrs.Patch.
EnterPatch.
Patch.Oh, are you come, Sir? All's safe.
Char.So in, in then.
EnterMarplot.
Marpl.There he goes: Who the Devil lives here? Except I can find out that, I am as far from knowing his Business as ever; gad I'll watch, it may be a Bawdy-House, and he may have his Throat cut; if there shou'd be any Mischief, I can make Oath, he went in. Well,Charles, in spight of your Endeavour to keep me out of the Secret; I may save your Life, for ought I know: At that Corner I'll plant my self; there I shall see whoever goes in, or comes out. Gad, I love Discoveries.
(Exit.
SCENEDraws.Charles, Isabinda,andPatch.
Isab. Patch, look out sharp; have a care of Dad.
Patch.I warrant you.
(Exit.
Isab.Well, Sir, if I may judge your Love by your Courage, I ought to believe you sincere; for you venture into the Lyons Den when you come to see me.
Char.If you'd consent whilst the furious Beast is abroad, I'd free you from the Reach of his Paws.
Isab.That wou'd be but to avoid one Danger, by running into another; like the poor Wretches, who fly the Burning Ship, and meet their Fate in the Water. Come, come,Charles, I fear if I consult my Reason, Confinement and Plenty is better than Liberty and Starving. I know you'd make the Frolick pleasing for a little time, by Saying and Doing a World of tender things; but when our small Substance is once Exhausted, and a Thousand Requisits for Life are Wanting; Love, who rarely dwells with Poverty, wou'd also fail us.
Char.Faith, I fancy not; methinks my Heart has laid up a Stock will last for Life; to back which, I have taken a Thousand Pound upon my Uncle's Estate; that surely will support us, till one of our Fathers relent.
Isab.There's no trusting to that my Friend, I doubt your Father will carry his Humour to the Grave, and mine till he sees me settled inSpain.
Char.And can ye then cruelly Resolve to stay till thatcurs'dDonarrives, and suffer that Youth, Beauty, Fire and Wit, to be sacrific'd to the Arms of a dullSpaniard, to be Immur'd and forbid the Sight of any thing that's Humane.
Isab.No, when it comes to the Extremity, and no Stratagem can Relieve us, thou shalt List for a Soldier, and I'll carry thy Knapsack after thee.
Char.Bravely Resolv'd; the World cannot be more Savage than our Parents, and Fortune generally assists the Bold; therefore Consent now: Why shou'd we put it to a future Hazard? who knows when we shall have another Opportunity?
Isab.Oh, you have your Ladder of Ropes, I suppose, and the Closet Window stands just where it did; and if you han't forgot to write in Characters,Patchwill find a way for our Assignations. Thus much of theSpanishContrivance, my Father's Severity has taught me, I thank him; tho' I hate the Nation, I admire their Management in these Affairs.
EnterPatch.
Patch.Oh, Madam, I see my Master coming up the Street.
Char.Oh the Devil, wou'd I had my Ladder now; I thought you had not expected him till Night; why, why, why, why; what shall I do, Madam?
Isab.Oh, for Heaven's sake! don't go that way, you'll meet him full in the Teeth: Oh unlucky Moment!—
Char.Adsheart, can you shut me into no Cupboard, Ram me into no Chest, ha?
Patch.Impossible, Sir, he Searches every Hole in the House.
Isab.Undone for ever! if he sees you, I shall never see you more.
Patch.I have thought on't: Run you to your Chamber, Madam; and Sir, come you along with me, I'm certain you may easily get down from the Balcone.
Char.My Life,Adieu— Lead on, Guide.
(Exit.
Isab.Heaven preserve him.
(Exit.
SCENEChanges to the Street.
Enter SirJealous, withMarplotbehind him.
SirJeal.I don't know what's the matter; but I have a strong Suspicion, all is not right within; that Fellow's sauntring about my Door, and his Tale of a Puppy, had the Face of a Lye, methought. By St.Jago, if I shou'd find a Man in the House, I'd make Mince-Meat of him—
Marpl.Ah, poorCharles—ha? Agad he is old— I fancy I might bully him, and makeCharleshave an Opinion of my Courage.
SirJeal.My own Key shall let me in; I'll give them no Warning.
(Feeling for his Key.
Marpl.What's that you say, Sir.
(Going up to SirJealous.
SirJeal.What's that to you, Sir.
(Turns quick upon him.
Marpl.Yes, 'tis to me, Sir; for the Gentleman you threaten is a very honest Gentleman. Look to't, for if he comes not as safe out of your House, as he went in, I have half a DozenMirmidonshard-by shall beat it about your Ears.
SirJeal.Went in; what is he in then? Ah! a Combination to undo me— I'llMirmidonyou, ye Dog you— Thieves, Thieves.
(Beat's Marplotall this while he criesThieves.
Marpl.Murder, Murder; I was not in your House, Sir.
Enter Servant.
Serv.What's the matter, Sir?
SirJeal.The Matter, Rascals? Have you let a Man into my House; but I'll flea him Alive, follow me, I'll not leave a Mousehole unsearch'd; if I find him, by St.Jago, I'll Equip him for theOpera.
(Exit.
Marpl.A Duce of his Cane, there's no trusting to Age—what shall I do to RelieveCharles!Egad, I'll raise the Neighbourhood— Murder, Murder—(Charlesdrops down upon him from the Balcone.)Charlesfaith I'm glad to see thee safe out, with all my Heart.
Char.A Pox of your Bawling: How the Devil came you here?
Marpl.Here, gad I have done you a piece of Service; I told the old Thunderbolt, that the Gentleman that was gone in was—
Char.Was it you that told him, Sir?(Laying hold of him.)Z'death, I cou'd crush thee into Atoms.
(ExitCharles.
Marpl.What will you choak me for my Kindness?—will my Enquiring Soul never leave Searching into other Peoples Affairs, till it gets squeez'd out of my Body? I dare not follow him now, for my Blood, he's in such a Passion— I'll toMiranda; if I can discover ought that may oblige SirGeorge, it may be a means to Reconcile me agen toCharles.
(Exit.
Enter SirJealousandServants.
SirJeal.Are you sure you have search'd every where?
Serv.Yes, from the Top of the House to the Bottom.
SirJeal.Under the Beds, and over the Beds?
Serv.Yes, and in them too, but found no Body, Sir.
SirJeal.Why, what cou'd this Rogue mean?
EnterIsabindaandPatch.
Patch.Take Courage, Madam, I saw him safe out.
(Aside toIsab.
Isab.Bless me! what's the matter, Sir?
SirJeal.You know best— Pray where's the Man that was here just now?
Isab.What Man, Sir? I saw none!
Patch.Nor I, by the Trust you repose in me; do you think I wou'd let a Man come within these Doors, when you were absent?
SirJeal.AhPatch, she may be too cunning for thy Honesty; the very Scout that he had set to give Warning discover'd it to me—and threaten'd me with half a DozenMirmidons— But I think I maul'd the Villain. These Afflictions you draw upon me, Mistress!
Isab.Pardon me, Sir, 'tis your own Ridiculous Humour draws you into these Vexations, and gives every Fool pretence to banter you.
SirJeal.No, 'tis your Idle Conduct, your Coquetish Flurting into the Balcone— Oh with what Joy shall I resign thee into the Arms of DonDiego Babinetto!
Isab.And with what Industry shall I avoid him!
(Aside.
SirJeal.Certainly that Rogue had a Message from some body or other; but being baulk'd by my coming, popt that Sham upon me. Come along, ye Sots, let's see if we can find the Dog again.Patch, lock her up; D'ye hear?
(Exit with Servants.
Patch.Yes, Sir—ay, walk till your Heels ake, you'll find no Body, I promise you.
Isab.Who cou'd that Scout be, which he talks of?
Patch.Nay, I can't imagine, without it wasWhisper.
Isab.Well, dearPatch, let's employ all our Thoughts how to escape this horrid DonDiego, my very Heart sinks at his Terrible Name.
Patch.Fear not, Madam, DonCarloshall be the Man, or I'll lose the Reputation of Contriving, and then what's a Chambermaid good for?
Isab.Say'st thou so, my Girl: Then—
Let Dad be Jealous, multiply his Cares,While Love instructs me to avoid the Snares;I'll, spight of all hisSpanishCaution, showHow much for Love aBritishMaid can do.
(Exit.
SCENESirFrancis Gripe's House.
SirFrancisandMirandameeting.
Miran.Well,Gardee, how did I perform my Dumb Scene?
SirFran.To Admiration— Thou dear little Rogue, let me buss thee for it: Nay, adod, I will,Chargee, so muzle, and tuzle, and hug thee; I will, I faith, I will.
(Hugging and Kissing her.
Miran.Nay,Gardee, don't be so lavish; who wou'd Ride Post, when the Journey lasts for Life?
SirFran.Ah wag, ah wag— I'll buss thee agen for that.
Miran.Faugh! how he stinks of Tobacco! what a delicate Bedfellow I shou'd have!
(Aside.
SirFran.Oh I'm Transported! When, when, my Dear, wilt thou Convince the World of thy Happy Day? when shall we marry, ha?
Miran.There's nothing wanting but your Consent, SirFrancis.
SirFran.My Consent! what do's my Charmer mean?
Miran.Nay, 'tis only a Whim: But I'll have every thing according to form— Therefore when you sign an Authentick Paper, drawn up by an able Lawyer, that I have your Leave to marry, the next Day makes me yours,Gardee.
SirFran.Ha, ha, ha, a Whim indeed! why is it not Demonstration I give my Leave when I marry thee.
Miran.Not for your Reputation,Gardee; the malicious World will be apt to say, you trick'd me into Marriage, and so take the Merit from my Choice. Now I will have the Act my own, to let the idle Fops see how much I prefer a Man loaded with Years and Wisdom.
SirFran.Humph! Prithee leave out Years,Chargee, I'm not so old, as thou shalt find: Adod, I'm young; there's a Caper for ye.
(Jumps.
Miran.Oh never excuse it, why I like you the better for being old— But I shall suspect you don't love me, if you Refuse me this Formality.
SirFran.Not Love thee,Chargee!Adod I do love thee better than, than, than, better than—what shall I say? Egad, better than Money, I faith I do—
Miran.That's false I'm sure(Aside.)To prove it do this then.
SirFran.Well, I will do it,Chargee, provided I bring a License at the same time.
Miran.Ay, and a Parson too, if you please; Ha, ha, ha, I can't help Laughing to think how all the young Coxcombs about Town will be mortify'd when they hear of our Marriage.
SirFran.So they will, so they will; Ha, ha, ha.
Miran.Well, I fancy I shall be so happy with myGardee!
SirFran.If wearing Pearls and Jewels, or eating Gold, as the old Saying is, can make thee happy, thou shalt be so, my Sweetest, my Lovely, my Charming, my—verily I know not what to call thee.
Miran.You must know,Gardee, that I am so eager to have this Business concluded, that I have employ'd my Womans Brother, who is a Lawyer in theTemple, to settle Mattersjust to your Liking, you are to give your Consent to my Marriage, which is to your self, you know: But Mum, you must take up notice of that. So then I will, that is, with your Leave, put my Writings into his Hands; then to Morrow we come slap upon them with a Wedding, that no body thought on; by which you seize me and my Estate, and I suppose make a Bonfire of your own Act and Deed.
SirFran.Nay, butChargee, if—
Miran.Nay,Gardee, no Ifs— Have I refus'd threeNorthernLords, twoBritishPeers, and half a score Knights, to have you put in your Ifs?—
SirFran.So thou hast indeed, and I will trust to thy Management. Od, I'm all of a Fire.
Miran.'Tis a wonder the dry Stubble does not blaze.
EnterMarplot.
SirFran.How now! who sent for you, Sir? What's the Hundred Pound gone already?
Marpl.No, Sir, I don't want Money now.
SirFran.No, that's a Miracle! But there's one thing youwant, I'm sure.
Marpl.Ay, what's that,Guardian?
SirFran.Manners, what had I no Servants without?
Marpl.None that cou'd do my Business,Guardian, which is at present with this Lady.
Miran.With me, Mr.Marplot!what is it, I beseech you?
SirFran.Ay, Sir, what is it? any thing that relates to her may be deliver'd to me.
Marpl.I deny that.
Miran.That's more than I do, Sir.
Marpl.Indeed, Madam, why then to proceed: Fame says, that you and my most ConscionableGuardianhere, design'd, contriv'd, plotted and agreed to chouse a very civil, honourable, honest Gentleman, out of a Hundred Pound.
Miran.That I contrived it!
Marpl.Ay you— You said never a Word against it, so far you are Guilty.
SirFran.Pray tell that civil, honourable, honest Gentleman,that if he has any more such Sums to fool away, they shall be received like the last; Ha, ha, ha, ha, chous'd, quotha! But hark ye, let him know at the same time, that if he dare to report I trick'd him of it, I shall recommend a Lawyer to him shall shew him a Trick for twice as much; D'ye hear, tell him that.
Marpl.So, and this is the way you use a Gentleman, and my Friend.
Miran.Is the Wretch thy Friend?
Marpl.The Wretch! Look ye, Madam, don't call Names; Egad I won't take it.
Miran.Why you won't beat me, will you? Ha, ha.
Marpl.I don't know whether I will or no.
SirFran.Sir, I shall make a Servant shew you out at the Window if you are sawcy.
Marpl.I am your most humble Servant,Guardian; I design to go out the same way I came in. I wou'd only ask this Lady, if she do's not think in her Soul SirGeorge Airyis not a fine Gentleman.
Miram.He Dresses well.
SirFran.Which is chiefly owing to his Taylor, andValet de Chamber.
Miran.And if you allow that a proof of his being a fine Gentleman, he is so.
Marpl.The judicious part of the World allow him Wit, Courage, Gallantry and Management; tho' I think he forfeited that Character, when he flung away a Hundred Pound upon your Dumb Ladyship.
SirFran.Does that gaul him? Ha, ha, ha.
Miran.So, SirGeorgeremaining in deep Discontent, has sent you his trusty Squire, to utter his Complaint: Ha, ha, ha.
Marpl.Yes, Madam; and you, like a cruel, hard-hearted Jew, value it no more—than I wou'd your Ladyship, were I SirGeorge, you, you, you—
Miran.Oh, don't call Names. I know you love to be employ'd, and I'll oblige you; and you shall carry him a Message from me.
Marpl.According as I like it: What is it?
Miran.Nay, a kind one you may be sure— First tell him, I have chose this Gentleman to have, and to hold, and so forth.
(Clapping her Hand into SirFrancis's.
SirFran.Oh the dear Rogue, how I dote on her!
(Aside.
Miran.And advise his Impertinence to trouble me no more, for I prefer SirFrancisfor a Husband before all the Fops in the Universe.
Marpl.Oh Lord, Oh Lord! She's bewitch'd, that's certain; Here's a Husband for Eighteen— Here's a Shape— Here's Bones ratling in a Leathern Bag.(Turning SirFrancisabout.)Here's Buckram, and Canvass, to scrub you to Repentance.
SirFran.Sirrah, my Cane shall teach you Repentance presently.
Marpl.No faith, I have felt its Twin-Brother from just such a wither'd Hand too lately.
Miran.One thing more, advise him to keep from the Garden Gate on the left Hand; for if he dares to saunter there, about the Hour of Eight, as he used to do, he shall be saluted with a Pistol or a Blunderbuss.
Sir Fran.Oh monstrous! whyChargee; did he use to come to the Garden Gate?
Miran.The Gardner describ'd just such another Man that always watch'd his coming out, and fain wou'd have bribed him for his Entrance—tell him he shall find a warm Reception if he comes this Night.
Marpl.Pistols and Blunderbusses! Egad, a warm Reception indeed; I shall take care to inform him of your Kindness, and advise him to keep farther off.
Miran.I hope he will understand my Meaning better, than to follow your Advice.
(Aside.
SirFran.Thou hast sign'd, seal'd, and ta'en Possession of my Heart; for ever,Chargee, Ha, ha, ha; and for you, Mr. Sauce-box, let me have no more of your Messages, if ever you design to inherit your Estate, Gentleman.
Marpl.Why there 'tis now. Sure I shall be out of your Clutches one Day.— Well,Guardian, I say no more; but if you be not as errant a Cuckold, as e're drove Bargain uponthe Exchange, or paid Attendance to a Court; I am the Son of a Whetstone; and so your humble Servant.
(Exit.
Miran.Don't forget the Message; Ha, ha.
SirFran.I am so provok'd!—'tis well he's gone.
Miran.Oh mind him not,Gardee, but let's sign Articles, and then—
SirFran.And then— Adod, I believe I am Metamorphos'd; my Pulse beats high, and my Blood boils, methinks—
(Kissing and Hugging her.
Miran.Oh fye,Gardee, be not so violent; Consider the Market lasts all the Year— Well, I'll in and see if the Lawyer be come, you'll follow.
(Exit.
SirFran.Ay, to the World's End, my Dear. Well,Franck, thou art a lucky Fellow in thy old Age, to have such a delicate Morsel, and Thirty Thousand Pound in love with thee; I shall be the Envy of Batchelors, the Glory of Marry'd Men, and the Wonder of the Town. Some Guardians wou'd be glad to compound for part of the Estate, at dispatching an Heiress, but I engross the whole:O! Mihi præteritos referet si Jupiter Annos.
(Exit.
SCENEChanges to a Tavern; discovers SirGeorgeandCharleswith Wine before them, andWhisperwaiting.
SirGeo.Nay, prithee don't be Grave,Charles;Misfortunes will happen: Ha, ha, ha, 'tis some Comfort to have a Companion in our Sufferings.
Char.I am only apprehensive forIsabinda, her Father's Humour is implacable; and how far his Jealousie may transport him to her Undoing, shocks my Soul to think.
SirGeo.But since you escap'd undiscover'd by him, his Rage will quickly lash into a Calm, never fear it.
Char.But who knows what that unlucky Dog,Marplot, told him; nor can I imagine what brought him thither; that Fellow is ever doing Mischief; and yet, to give him his due, he never designs it. This is some Blundering Adventure,wherein he thought to shew his Friendship, as he calls it: A Curse on him.
SirGeo.Then you must forgive him; what said he?
Char.Said! nay, I had more mind to cut his Throat, than hear his Excuses.
SirGeo.Where is he?
Whisp.Sir, I saw him go into SirFrancis Gripe's just now.
Char.Oh! then he is upon your Business, SirGeorge; a thousand to one, but he makes some Mistake there too.
SirGeo.Impossible, without he huffs the Lady, and makes Love to SirFrancis.
Enter Drawer.
Draw.Mr.Marplotis below, Gentlemen, and desires to know if he may have Leave to wait upon ye.
Char.How civil the Rogue is when he has done a fault!
SirGeo.Ho! Desire him to walk up. Prithee,Charles, throw off this Chagreen, and be good Company.
Char.Nay, hang him, I'm not angry with him.Whisper, fetch me Pen, Ink and Paper.
Whisp.Yes, Sir.
(Ex.Whisp.
EnterMarplot.
Char.Do but mark his sheepish Look, SirGeorge.
Marpl.DearCharles,don't o'erwhelm a Man—already under insupportable Affliction. I'm sure I always intend to serve my Friends; but if my malicious Stars deny the Happiness, is the fault mine?
SirGeo.Never mind him, Mr.Marplot, he is eat up with Spleen. But tell me, what saysMiranda?
Marpl.Says—nay, we are all undone there too.
Char.I told you so; nothing prospers that he undertakes.
Marpl.Why can I help her having chose your Father for Better for Worse?
Char.So: There's another of Fortune's Strokes; I suppose I shall be Edg'd out of my Estate, with Twins every Year, let who will get 'em.
SirGeo.What is the Woman really Possest?
Marpl.Yes with the Spirit of Contradiction, she rail'd at you most prodigiously.
SirGeo.That's no ill Sign.
EnterWhisper, with Pen, Ink and Paper.
Marpl.You'd say it was no good Sign, if you knew all.
SirGeo.Why, prithee?
Marpl.Hark'e, SirGeorge, Let me warn you, pursue your old Haunt no more, it may be dangerous.
(Charlessits down to write.
SirGeo.My old Haunt, what d'you mean?
Marpl.Why in short then, since you will have it,Mirandavows if you dare approach the Garden-Gate at Eight a Clock, as you us'd, you shall be saluted with a Blunderbuss, Sir. These were her Words; nay, she bid me tell you so too.
SirGeorge, Ha! The Garden-Gate at Eight, as I us'd to do! There must be a Meaning in this. Is there such a Gate,Charles?
Char.Yes, yes; it opens into the Park, I suppose her Ladyship has made many a Scamper through it.
SirGeo. It must be an Assignation then. Ha, my Heart springs with Joy, 'tis a propitious Omen. My dearMarplot, let me embrace thee, thou art my Friend, my better Angel—
Marpl.What do you mean, SirGeorge?
SirGeo.No matter what I mean. Here take a Bumper to the Garden-Gate, ye dear Rogue, you.
Marpl.You have Reason to be transported, SirGeorge; I have sav'd your Life.
SirGeo. My Life! thou hast sav'd my Soul, Man.Charles, if thou do'st not pledge this Health, may'st thou never taste the Joys of Love.
Char. Whisper, be sure you take care how you deliver this(gives him the Letter)bring me the Answer to my Lodgings.
Whisp.I warrant you, Sir.
(Exit.
Marpl.Whither does that Letter go?— Now dare I not ask for my Blood.
Char.Now I'm for you.
SirGeo.To the Garden-Gate at the Hour of Eight,Charles, along, Huzza!
Char.I begin to conceive you.
Marpl.That's more than I do, Egad—to the Garden-Gate, Huzza,(Drinks.)But I hope you design to keep far enough off on't, SirGeorge.
SirGeo.Ay, ay, never fear that; she shall see I despise her Frowns, let her use her Blunderbuss against the next Fool, she shan't reach me with the Smoak, I warrant her, Ha, ha, ha.
Marpl.Ah,Charles, if you cou'd receive a Disappointment thusEn Cavalier, one shou'd have some comfort in being beat for you.
Char.The Fool comprehends nothing.
SirGeo.Nor wou'd I have him; prithee take him along with thee.
Char.Enough:Marplot, you shall go home with me.
Marpl.I'm glad I'm well with him however. SirGeorge, yours. Egad,Charles, asking me to go home with him, gives me a shrewd suspicion there's more in the Garden-Gate, than I comprehend. Faith, I'll give him the drop, and away toGuardians, and find it out.
SirGeo.I kiss both your Hands— And now for the Garden-Gate.
It's Beauty gives the Assignation there,And Love too powerful grows t' admit of Fear.
(Exit.
The End of the Third Act.
ACT the Fourth.
SCENEthe Out-side of SirJealous Traffick's House,Patchpeeping out of Door.
EnterWhisper.
Whisp.HA, Mrs.Patch, this is a lucky Minute, to find you so readily, my Master dies with Impatience.
Patch.My Lady imagin'd so, and by her Orders I have been scouting this hour in search of you, to inform you that SirJealoushas invited some Friends to Supper with him to Night, which gives an Opportunity to your Master to make use of his Ladder of Ropes: The Closet Window shall be open, andIsabindaready to receive him; bid him come immediately.
Whisp.Excellent, He'll not disappoint I warrant him: But hold, I have a Letter here, which I'm to carry an Answer of: I can't think what Language the Direction is.
Patch.Pho, 'tis no Language, but a Character which the Lovers invented to avert Discovery: Ha, I hear my old Master coming down Stairs, it is impossible you shou'd have an Answer; away, and bid him come himself for that—begone we are ruined if you're seen, for he has doubl'd his Care since the last Accident.
Whisp.I go, I go.
[Exit.
Patch.There, go thou into my Pocket.[Puts it besides, and it falls down.]Now I'll up the back Stairs, lest I meet him. Well, a dexterous Chamber-maid is the Ladies best Utensil, I say.
[Exit.
Enter SirJealouswith a Letter in his Hand.
SirJeal.So, this is some Comfort, this tells me thatSeignior Don Diego Babinettois safely arriv'd, he shall marry my Daughter the Minute he comes, ha. What's here[takes up the LetterPatchdrop'd]a Letter! I don't know what tomake of the Superscription. I'll see what's within side,[opens it]humph; 'tisHebrewI think. What can this mean. There must be some trick in it; this was certainly design'd for my Daughter, but I don't know that she can speak any Language but her Mother-Tongue. No matter for that, this may be one of Love's Hieroglyphicks, and I fancy I sawPatch's Tail sweep by. That Wench may be a Slut, and instead of guarding my Honour, betray it; I'll find it out I'm resolv'd; who's there? What Answer did you bring from the Gentlemen I sent you to invite?
Serv.That they'd all wait of you, Sir, as I told you before, but I suppose you forget, Sir.
SirJeal.Did I so, Sir, but I shan't forget to break your Head, if any of 'em come, Sir.
Serv.Come, Sir, why did not you send me to desire their Company, Sir?
SirJeal.But I send you now to desire their Absence; say I have something extraordinary fallen out, which calls me abroad, contrary to Expectation, and ask their Pardon, and d'ye hear, send the Butler to me.
Serv.Yes, Sir.
[Exit.
EnterButler.
SirJeal.If this Paper has a Meaning I'll find it. Lay the Cloath in my Daughter's Chamber, and bid the Cook send Supper thither presently.
Butl.Yes, Sir,—hey day, what's the Matter now?
[Exit.
SirJeal.He wants the Eyes ofArgus, that has a young handsome Daughter in this Town, but my Comfort is, I shall not be troubl'd long with her. He that pretends to rule a Girl once in her Teens, had better be at Sea in a Storm, and would be in less Danger.
For let him do, or Counsel all he can,She thinks and dreams of nothing else but Man.
[Exit.
SCENEIsabinda's Chamber,IsabindaandPatch.
Isab.Are you sure, no Body saw you speak toWhisper?
Patch.Yes, very sure Madam, but I heard SirJealouscoming down Stairs, so I clap'd this Letter into my Pocket.
(Feels for the Letter.
Isab.A Letter! give it me quickly.
Patch.Bless me! what's become on't— I'm sure I put it—
(Searching still.
Isab.Is it possible, thou could'st be so Careless— Oh! I'm undone for ever if it be lost.
Patch.I must have drop'd it upon the Stairs. But why are you so much alarm'd, if the worst happens no body can read it, Madam, nor find out whom it was design'd for.
Isab.If it falls into my Father's Hands the very Figure of a Letter will produce ill Consequences. Run and look for it upon the Stairs this Moment.
Patch.Nay, I'm sure it can be no where else.—(As she's going out of the Door meets the Butler.)How now, what do you want?
Butl.My Master order'd me to lay the Cloth here for his Supper.
Isab.Ruin'd past Redemption—
(Aside.
Patch.You mistake sure; what shall we do?
Isab.I thought he expected Company to Night— Oh! poorCharles— Oh! unfortunateIsabinda.
Butl.I thought so too Madam, but I suppose he has alter'd his Mind.