A DIPLOMATIC TRIUMPH
President Roosevelt.Secretary of State Hay.
The President—Say, John, I wish you would see the Chinese Minister and tell him that Russia is complaining that China does not observe a strict neutrality. Tell him that she is imperiling her administrative entity.
Secretary Hay—I have already done so, sir; and I ventured to add that an oyster schooner that had just arrived from below had a very large mast.
The P.—What the dickens had that to do with it?
S. H.—Ah, you are not skilled in the language of diplomacy; it was an oblique reference to the “big stick.” The Chink understood; he was born on one of the days before yesterday.
The P.—And what did he say?
S. H.—Everything: put his hands into his long sleeves, crossed them on his breast and bowed three times, profoundly silent. Then he retired.
The P.—I am from Wyoming and you’ll have to explain.
S. H.—It’s all right. I at once summoned the other Ambassadors (except the Russian and the Japanese) and told them that you had made the most forcible representations to the Chinese Empress regarding her Majesty’s breaches——
The P.—Her what? You saidthat?
S. H.—Of neutrality. They were greatly impressed.
The P.—What did they say?
S. H.—What could they say? They bowed and went out, one by one, leaving the door open. The Open Door is what we stand for. It is all over.
The P.—Except the shouting.
S. H.—Secretary Loeb will see to that. He has prepared a statement of the incident for the press.
[Tumult within—cheers and fishhorns.]
The P.—What’s that?
S. H.—The shouting.