BEARS
BEARS spend the winter in hollow logs and dont eat any thing till they come out in the spring. One fine spring day a bear come out of a farmers barn yard and the farmer he see him. Then the farmer said to his boy: “Jim, you go and tackle that feller and we will have his hide. He will be easy prey, for he is so thin that he cant cast a shadow.”
The boy said: “Of course Ile do it if you say so, but he is castin a mighty black shaddow all the same.”
The farmer he said: “Non sense, that is the shadow of one of our calfs. He has et it.”
One time me and Billy was to the Zoo, and Billy went to the bears den. The bear sat up and made a lap and Billy he lit a fire cracker and threw it in the bears lap. The bear looked down at the cracker, which was a smokin in his fur, and then cocked his head, real knowin, much as to say: “You cant fool me, that aint no pea nut.”
But when the cracker went off you never have saw such a crazy bear!
Fire crackers is fine, but give me the canons roar, and the chargers nay, and the flags a floppin in the breez, and heaps of slain!
Uncle Ned says once in Indy when him and his dog was a strolin on the bank of the Gangee a bear come out of the jingle and started for to swim across. When the dog seen some thing in the water he jumpt in for to fetch it out, with out thinkin particlar what it might be, but it was the bears head. But when the dog had pretty near catched up with it it turned round and give him a smile, like sayin: “Its awfle good of you to take sech a friendly intrest in a stranger. When we get to the other side Ile ask you to dinner, and we will have dog.”
But when the dog seen how things was he rememberd a previous engagement, and Uncle Ned says there wasnt never any body which tried so hard for to be punctual.
Yestday was Valentines day and some wicked feller he sent me one which was the ugliest ever see. It is drew with a pen, and its me a settin on a Noays ark with wooden animals before me, and me a writin about them with my toung out and my legs twisted to gather like grape vines,but not a bit like me, more like Billy. There is a big jackus a standin behine me with his mouth to my ear, like he was a whisperin in school, and this is the poetry which is under the pictur, bad spellin and all, I never see such fool poetry!
Now here you are, Johnny, and heres Uncle Ned,Composing your stories all out of his head.With Genius behind you and Nature before,No truth can “kanock” you, no mystery “flore.”You’re true as a clock to your subject—at least,You write about beasts, and you write like a beast.
Now here you are, Johnny, and heres Uncle Ned,Composing your stories all out of his head.With Genius behind you and Nature before,No truth can “kanock” you, no mystery “flore.”You’re true as a clock to your subject—at least,You write about beasts, and you write like a beast.
Now here you are, Johnny, and heres Uncle Ned,Composing your stories all out of his head.With Genius behind you and Nature before,No truth can “kanock” you, no mystery “flore.”You’re true as a clock to your subject—at least,You write about beasts, and you write like a beast.
Now here you are, Johnny, and heres Uncle Ned,
Composing your stories all out of his head.
With Genius behind you and Nature before,
No truth can “kanock” you, no mystery “flore.”
You’re true as a clock to your subject—at least,
You write about beasts, and you write like a beast.
When I got that I took it strait to Uncle Ned, and when he had read it he looked mighty mad. Then I said: “Uncle Ned, what becomes of wicked fellers souls when they die?”
Uncle Ned he said: “Johnny, that is a question which will keep till you have a optunity to see for your self. This gum dasted villin says no mystry can flore you, but I guess its just as well not to go out of your way for to tackle mystries which are peaceful disposed. I respeck your motive in askin the riddle, cause it is the same which under lies the holy religion of thePattigonions, but the Bible it says for us to love our enmies, cause they dont know any better. So I move we forgive this feller and content our selfs with the hope that what ever is done to him in a other and bitter world it will be good and plenty.”
Thats all I know bout bears to day, but Billy he can crow like a cockadoodle, and the Bible it says let us be up and doin.