THE YOUNG COALMAN’S COURTSHIP TO A CREEL-WIFE’S DAUGHTER.
THE YOUNG COALMAN’S COURTSHIP TO A CREEL-WIFE’S DAUGHTER.
All you that’s curious of Courtship, give attention to this History of Mary and her son Sawny, a young Coalman, who lived in the country a few miles from Edinburgh.
Mary, his mither, was a gay hearty wife, had mair wantonness nor wealth; was twelve years a married wife, nine years a widow, and was very chaste in her behaviour, wi’ her ain tale (for want of charging:) for a’ this time of her widowhood, there was never a man got a kiss o’ her lips, or laid a foul hand on her hind quarters.
Sawny her son was a stout young raw lown, full faced, wi’ flabby cheeks, duddy breeks, and a ragged doublet, gade always wi’ his bosom bare, sometimes had ae gartan, a lingle or rash-rape was good enough for Sawny: his very belly was a’ sun burnt and brown like a piper’s bag, or the head of an auld drum; and yet his beard began to sprout out like herring banes: he took thick brose to his breakfast, and baps and ale through the day, and when the coals sell’d dear, when the wind was cauld, bought an oven farl and twa Dunbar weathers,[27]or a Glasgow magistrate,[28]which fish-wives ca’s a waslen herrin.
His mither, auld Mary plagued him ay in the morning, got up when the hens keckled, reinged the ribs, blew her snotter-box, primed her nose, kindled her tobacco pipe, and at every puff breathed out fretting against her hard fortune, and lanely single life. O but a widow be a poor name, but I live in a wilderness in this lang-lonen; mony a man gaes by my door, but few looks in to poor auld Mary: Hoch hey, will I never win out o’ this weery’d life.—Wa’ Sawny man, wa’ Sawny man; wilt thou na rise the day; the sun’s up, an a’ the niboursround about; Willie and Charlie is to the hill an hour syne, an’ haf-gate hame again. Wilt thou rise and gi’ the beasts a bite; thou minds na’ them, I wat man.
Grump, grump, quo’ Sawny, they got their supper an hour after I got mine. Shute to dead come on them, an’ they get a bit frae me till they work for’t.
Sawny.But O Mither, I been dreaming that I was married, an’ i’ the bed aboon the bride, I wonder gin it be true: Od! I never got sic fun; what wilt be, think ye? How auld am I mither; do you think I could man a hissy yet? Fegs am a mind to try, but the sour saucy hissies ’ill no hae me, I ken well enough.
Mither.Hae you lad, ay mony a hungry heart wad be blyth o’ you; but there was never a sca’d Jocky but there was a scabbit Jenny till him yet:[29]dinny be fear’d lad.
Sawny.A hech, mither, I’se no be lordly, an I sud tak a beggar wife aff the hi’ gate: but I’ll tell you something it’m ay thinking on, but ye manna tell the nibours, for the chields wad aye jamf[30]me wi’t.
Mither.Wad I tell o’ thee, I wad tell o’ mysel as soon.
Sawny.Do ye mind, mither, that day I gaed to the Pans[31]I came in by Auld Mattie’s, your countrymans, the Fife wife, it came out o’ the town ye came frae, the wife it says,Be-go laddie, I gaed there, and she wisna in, and her doughter kend me; she was unco kind, and made me fat, fat brose out o’ the lee side o’ her kail pat, there was baith beef and paunches in’t: od they smell’d like ony haggies, an’ shin’d a’ like a gou’d lac’d waiscoat, figs I suppit till I was like to rive o’ them, and had a rift o’ them the morn a’ day; when I came out, I had a kite like a cow wi’ ca’f. She spier’d for you mither, and I said ye was gaily: and she looked to me, and leuch ay, and grippet my shakle bane, and said I wad be a sturdy fallow yet.—Ilooked ay to her, and thought I liked her, and thinks on’t ay sin-syne, she leugh, and bad me seek out a coal-driver for her, for she did na’ like to carry a fish creel.
Mither.Forsooth, Sawny, I’ll gie my twa lugs for a lav’rocks egg if she binna in love wi’ thee, and that will be a bargain.
Sawny.An’ upon my word mither she’s a sturdy gimmer, well worth the snoaking after; she has a dimple in every cheek, and ane on her chin, twa legs like twa posts, an haunches like a sodger’s lady’s hoop, they hobble when she shakes, and her paps plays nidity nod when she gangs, I ken by her keeking[32]she has a conceit o’ me.
Mither.But Sawny man, an tou see her mither Matty in the town, auldBe-go-laddie, as ye ca’ her, gi’ her a dram, she lik’st well; spout ye a mutchkin o’ molash in her cheek, ye’ll get her mind an’ speed the better.
Sawny.But mither how sud I do when I gang to court her; will I kiss her and tan kittle her, an’ fling her o’er as the chiels does the hissies amang the hay. I seen them gang our ither, and o’er ither; an’ when they grip them by the wame, they’d cry like a maukin when the dogs is worrying them.
Mither.Hut awa’, daft dog it thou is, that’s no the gate, thou maun gang in wi’ bra’ good manners an’ something manfu’; put on a Sunday’s face and sigh as ye were a saint; sit down beside her as ye were a Mess John; keek ay till her now and then wi’ a sto’en look, and had your mouth as mim, and grave as a May-puddock, or a whore at a christening; crack well o’ our wealth, and hide our poverty.
Sawny.Ay but mither, there’s some other way in courting nor that, or the lasses would never couple so close to them.
Mither.Ay but Sawny man, there is a time for everything and that too; when ye sit where nae body sees you, you may tak her head in your oxter, like a creesh pig, dab nebs wi’ her now an’ than, but be sure ye keep a close mouth when ye kissher; clap her cheeks and straik her paps, but for your drowning gang nae farther down; but fouk’s that’s married can put their hand to ony part they like.
Sawny.Aha, but mither, I didna ken the first word o’ courting, the lassie ’ill no ken what am com’d about.
Mither.Ay will she lad, wink and keek well to her, she’ll hae a guess; seek a quiet word o’ her at the door; an’ gin it be dark, gie her a wee bit kiss when ye’ve tell’d her your errand; an’ gin they gi’e you cheese and bread, or ony meat, ca’t good, whether it be sae or no; and for my blessing, be mensfu’ wi’ your mouth, and dinna eat o’er muckle, for I seen you sip as mony milk brose as wad a sar’t twa men to carry on a barrow.
Sawny.A but mither, ye’re lying now, or it was na’ a’ at ance than, but an they set meat before me, and I be hungry, a de’il claw the clungest[33]an’ I be nae upsides wi’t, for that same. A faith mither, fouks maun hae meat, an’ they should ne’er get wives, there’s some o’ them no worth the cursing, an’ a body were na letting an oath whether or no: a hear ye that now, when ye pit me till’t, and gar me speak; ay by my sooth, I wad rather hae a bit good powny[34]an’ a pound o’ cheese, or I were bound to bab after ony hizzies buttocks I see yet.
Mither.Wa Sawny man thou’s a fool an’ that’s a fau’t: gin every ane were as easy about women as thou is, the warld wad be a wilderness in a wee time; there wad be nae body to inhabit the earth but brute beasts, cats and dogs wad be worrying ither, and every thing gae to confusion. Gae to the courting ye dog it ye are, and either do something or naething at a’.
End of theFirst Part.
The other two Parts give an account of his behaviour when in courtship with the bride, the wedding, speuing of the blankets, &c.
The other two Parts give an account of his behaviour when in courtship with the bride, the wedding, speuing of the blankets, &c.