THE HISTORY OF BUCK-HAVEN.
THE HISTORY OF BUCK-HAVEN.
Amongst several ancient records, this Bucky is not mentioned; there was a set called Buccaniers, who were pirates, that is to say sea-robbers, and after a strict search for that set of sea-robbers, they dispersed; what of them escaped justice in the southern climate, are said to have sheltered at or near Berwick upon Tweed. After a smart battle, among themselves, they divided, and ’tis said, the party who gained this Bucky-battle, fearing the English law to take place, set northward and took up their residence at this Buck-haven, so called not only from the great quantity of Buckies that are found in and about that place, but on account of the battle they had with their neighbours at Berwick when they divided, which was then called bucking one another, but is now named boxing or fighting. Another party of these Buckers settled in another town northward of Banff, called Bucky, near the river Spey, which is a large sea-town, but among all the sea-towns in Scotland, the fishers still retain a language, quite different from the people in the country, and they almost all shift the letter H, and use O, instead thereof which no country-people do in Scotland, but themselves.[171]There is a corruption of speech, in every county over all Britain, and likewise they use different tones and pronouncing words from others, even some in the South of Scotland, can hardly be understood by those in the North, though both pretend to speak English, and have a liberal part of education: but since learning is now so easy to be obtained, ignorance and corruption of speech are greatly decreased.[172]
In the county of Fife, on the sea-coast, there stands a littletown, inhabited by few but fishers, called Bucky-harbour, because of the sea buckies and shells to be found so plenty on the rocks, in and about that place; there is little mention made of this town by historians, to know its original extraction and antiquities, but in their own burges-ticket, which was part of it perfect truths, but more of it by way of lampoon; this ticket was dated the two and thirty day of the month of Julius Cæsar, their coat of arms was two hands gripping each other over a Scate’s rumple, their oath was, “I wish the de’il may tak me an I binna an honest man to you, an ye binna de like to me.” An article of good neighbourhood they had, whoever was first up in a good morning, was to raise all the rest to go to sea, but if a bad morning, they piss and lie down again till break of day then raise Wise Willy, who could judge of the weather by the blowing of the wind.
Their freedoms were to take all sorts of fish contained in their tickets, viz., lobsters, partans, podles, spout-fish, sea-cats, sea-dogs, flukes, pikes, dike-padocks, and p— fish.
Among these people were said to be one Tom and his two sons, who were fishers on the coast of Norway, and in a violent storm were blown over, and got ashore at Bucky-harbour, where they settled, and the whole of his children were called Thomsons,[173]this is a historical saying, handed down from one generation to another. So in course of time they grew up and multiplied, that they soon became a little town by themselves; few of any other name dwelt among them, and were all called the Thomsons; they kept but little communication with the country people, for a farmer in those days thought his daughter cast awa, if she married one of the fishers of Bucky-harbour,[174]and Witty Eppie the ale-wife, wad a sworn be-go laddie, I wad rather see my boat and a’ my three sons dadet against the Bass or I saw ony ane o’ them married on a muck-a-byre’s daughter, a wheen useless taupies, that can do naething butrive at a tow-rock, and cut corn; they can neither bait a hook nor red a line, hook sandles nor gather periwinkles.
Now Wise Willy and Witty Eppie the ale-wife lived there, about an hundred years ago. Eppie’s chamber was their college and court-house, where they decided their controversies, and explained their wonders, for the house was wide like a little kirk, had four windows and a gavel-door, the wives got leave to flyte their fill, but fighting was forbidden, (as Eppie said, up hands was fair play) their fines, were a’ in pints o’ ale, and Eppie sold it at a plack the pint; they had neither minister nor magistrate, nor yet a burly-bailie to brag them wi’ his tolbooth; my Lord was their landlord,[175]Wise Willy and Witty Eppie the ale-wife were the rulers of the town.
Now Eppie had a daughter, call’d Lingle-tail’d Nancy, because of her feckless growth, her waist was like a twitter, had nae curpen for a creel, being Embruch bred, and brought up wi’ her Lowdin aunty, was learned to read and sew, make corse-claiths and callico-mutches,[176]there wasna scholar in the town but hersel, she read the Bible and the book of Kirk-sangs which was newly come in fashion, Willy and Eppie tell’d ay what it meant, and said a’ the letters in it, was litted by my Lord, for they saw him hae a feather that he dipped in black water, and made crooked scores just like the same, and then he spoke to it o’er again, and it tell’d him what to say.
It happened on a day, that two of their wives found a horse-shoe near the town, brought it hame, and sent for Wise Willy to see what it was. Willy comes and looks at it, Indeed co’ Willy, its a thing and holes in’t. Then said they, he would get a name til’t, aha, co’ Willy, but whair did ye find it? aneath my Lords ain house, Willy. Adeed, said Willy, its the auld moon, I ken by the holes in’t for nailing it to the lift; but I wonder it she fell in Fife, for the last time I saw her she was hinging on her back aboon Embruch, a hech co’ Willy we’ll hae her set up onthe highest house in the town, and we’ll hae moon-light o’ our ain a’ the days o’ the year. The whole town ran to see the moon; hout tout, cried Witty Eppie, ye’re a’ fools together, it is but ane o’ the things it my Lord’s mare wears upo’ her lufe.[177]
At another time, one of the wives found a hare with its legs broken, lying among her kail in the yard; she, not knowing what it was, called out her neighbours to see it, some said it was a gentleman’s cat, or my lady’s lap-dog, or a sheep’s young kitlen, because it had saft horns; Na, na, cry’d Wise Willy, its ane o’ the maukens, that gentlemen’s dogs worrie. What will you do wi’t? haith co’ Maggy, I’ll singe the woo’ afi’t, and mak fish and sauce o’t to my Tammy’s parrich: No, no, said Witty Eppie, better gie’t to my Lord, and he’d stap an iron stick thro’ the guts o’t, and gar’t rin round afore the fire till it be roasted; Na, na, said Wise Willy, we’ll no do that indeed, for my Lord wad mak us a’ dogs, an gar us rin thro’ the kintry seeking maukins till him.
It happened on a dark winter morning, that two of the wives were going to Dysart to sell their fish, and near the road-side there happened to be a tinker’s ass tedder’d, and the poor ass seeing the wives coming with their creels, thought it was the tinkers coming to flit or remove him, fell a crying, the two wives threw their fish away, and ran home like mad persons, crying, they had seen the de’il, aye the very horned de’il, an that he had spoken to them, and cried after them, but they did not ken what he said, for it was worse words than a Highlandman’s. The whole town was in an uproar, some would go with picks and spades and hag him a’ in pieces, others wad gang and catch him in a strong net, and then they could either hang or drown him. Na, na, co’ Wise Willy, we manna cast out wi’ him at the first, as he’s gotten the twa burden o’ fish,he’ll ables gang his wa’ and no fash nae mair, he is o’er souple to be catch’d in a net, a’ your pith ’ill neither hang him nor drown him, an’ the kintry he comes frae is a’ het coals, he’ll never burn, we’ll go to him in a civil manner, and see what he wants: get out Eppie the ale-wife, and lingle-tail’d Nancy, with the Bible and the Saum-book:[178]so aff they came in a croud, either to kill the de’il or catch him alive, and as they came near the place, the ass fell a crying, which caused many of them to faint and run back: Na, na, co’ Willy, that’s no the de’ils words ava’, it’s my Lord’s trumpeter touting on his brass whistle, Willy ventured till he saw the ass’s twa lugs, now, cried Willy back to the rest, come forward and hand him fast, I see his twa horns, hech sirs, he has a white beard like an auld beggar man, so they enclosed the poor ass on all sides thinking it was the de’il: but when Wise Willy saw he had nae cloven feet, he cried out, Fearna’ lads, this is no the de’il, it’s some living beast, ’tis neither a cow nor a horse, and what is it then Willy? Indeed co’ Willie, ’tis the father o’ a’ the maukens, I ken by its lugs.
Now some say, this is too satirical a history, but it is according to the knowledge of those times, not to say in any place by another, old wives tell us yet of many such stories, as the devil appearing to their grandfathers and grandmothers, and dead wives coming back again to visit their families, long after their being buried: but this Bucky-haven which was once noted for droll exploits, is now become more knowing, and is a place said to produce the best and hardiest watermen or sailors of any town on the Scots coast, yet many of the old people in it, still retain the old tincture of their old and uncultivated speech, as be-go-laddie, also a fiery nature, if you ask any of the wives where their college stands, they’ll tell you, if your nose were in their arse, your mouth would be at the door of it.
Now, it happened, when Wise Willy turned old he took a great swelling in his wame, and casting up o’ his kail, collopsand cauld fish, that nothing staid on his stomach, and a stout stomach had he, for crab-heads, or scate-brose, or fat-brose on a bridal morning; yet it fail’d him; he fell sick, and none could cure him, or tell what ail’d him, till a mountebank stage-doctor came to Kirkcaldy, that could judge by people’s water, the troubles of their person, and Willy hearing of his fame, pissed into a bottle, and sent it away with his daughter; the bottle being uncorked, his daughter spilt it by the way, and to conceal her sloth in so doing, pissed in it herself, and on she goes, till she comes to the stage, and cries, Sir Dochter, Sir Dochter, here is a bottle o’ my father’s wash, he has a sair guts, and never needs to drite ony, he spues a’ he eats, ’tis true I tell you my dow; the doctor looks at it, and says, It is not your father’s, surely it is your mother’s; de’il’s i’ the man, co’ she, divna I ken my father by my mother? Then, said he, he is with child: A de’il’s i’ the man co’ she, for my mother bore a’ de bairns before, dat’s no true sir, a figs ye’re a great liar, home she came, and tell’d Willy her father, that the doctor said he was wi’ bairn. O waes me, co’ Willy, for I hae a muckle wame, and I fear its o’er true, O plague on you Janet, for ye’re the father o’t, and I’m sure to die in the bearing o’t. Witty Eppie was sent for, as she was houdy, and fand a’ Willy’s wame, to be sure about it, indeed co’ Eppie ye’re the first man e’er I saw wi’ bairn before; and how ye’ll bear’t I dinna ken, ye hae a wally wame, weel I wat, but how men bear bairns I never saw them yet, but I would drink sa’t water and drown’t in my guts, for an men get anes the gate o’ bearing weans themsells, they’ll seek nae mae wives: so Willy drank sea-water till his guts was like to rive, and out he goes to ease himself among the kail, and with the terrible hurl of farting, up starts a mauken behind him, thinking she was shot, Willy sees her jumping o’er the dike, thought it was a child brought forth, cries, Come back my dear and be christened, and no rin to the hills and be a Pagan,[179]so Willy grew better every day thereafter,being brought to bed in the kail-yard: but his daughter was brought to bed some months thereafter, which was the cause of the doctor’s mistake.