QUESTIONS OF CONSCIENCE—YOUR OWN BUSINESS
Don'tkill yourconsciencein regard to matters which you have been brought up to see in certain definite lights. If you think playing cards for money and the drinking of beer wrong, thendon'tplay anddon'tindulge. You'll never be thought less of in College for hanging on to principle. Just be sure that your principles areworthsticking up for, and thenstick. A wise old Englishman puts it this way: "Obey your conscience; but just besurethat your conscience is not that of anass."
THE 52 PASTEBOARDS
Don'tget into thelittle gametoo often. Under certain conditionsit's as easy as rolling off the decalogue. Sometimes you get in because you're afraid others will think you are afraid to play. This is really not courage. A word more: when you're in, often the time when youthinkyou can't afford to stop is just the time when youcanbest afford it. Take this advice; it is better than that ofR. E. Morse.
SPENDING MONEY
Don'tkeepspending moneyfor a lot of things that you would hardly care to itemize in the account you send to Father. Remember how he said, "I'll keep you decently, only I don't want College to make only a sport of my boy." Sometimes, when you are pressed, you think of asking Father to lend you money to bepaid backwith interest, when you getolder. Don't be surprised if he refuses and asks, "Where'syour collateral?" Remember that theBusiness World, hunting about for something to which to attach its respect and admiration, doesnotsingle out theUndergraduateinCollege.
EARNING MONEY
Don'tbe ashamed of chances toearn moneyin College, if you need it. More fellows earn their way through College than you have any idea of. College men havelotsof respect for a fellow who isn't ashamed towork.
THE DEAD GAME ACT
Don'tbe a Sport or a Snob. Either is fatal. Thedead game actplays itself out sooner than those who work it suppose, and serves oftener topoint a weaknessthanadorn a virtue.
IMITATING
Don't imitatethe manner of some one else. When you try to belike some one else, you only succeed in beingunlike yourself. People don't expect or want you to be like them.
THE FANCY INCOME POSE
Don'tpretend that you have afancy income, if you haven't. It's a cheap, expensive pose. Lots of fellows get money regularly from home. All they have to do, it would seem, is to rip open letters and sign their names on the back of what falls out. If youaren'tin this class, don'tpretendyou are. It isn'thow muchmoney you've got, buthow you make what you've got do, that shows you up a good one.
THAT BANK ACCOUNT
Don'tfail to keep one eye on thatbank account. Itslowlyandsurelydwindles. It needs watching especially, about the time the elms put on their new leaves, and the undergraduates their new flannel trousers. To end the year with an over-drawn bank account is risky. No fellow can afford to have hiscreditgobelowpar.
EXERCISE
Don'tneglect thehealthhabit. Substitute the tennis racquet for the cigarette, one of these days,and note thedifference. It may make you feel like aKingin thepinkof condition; after which you'll probably try it again, which won't hurt you a bit.
JOKES
Don'trepeatallthejokesthat come into your head. Avoid especially jokes that may be old. Many a fellow's popularity may hinge on the fact that he'lllistento a funny story without insisting on telling another that isn'tquiteso funny.
SHOWING OFF
Don't, if you are from a large well-to-do Preparatory School, talk too much about it, or think that the College must be run on thesame planas your school. Your views may not beappreciated.
SWAGGERING
Don'taspire to be taken for an upper-classman by cultivating a walk or aswaggeror anair. You can work thissohard, that finally you are the only one deceived.
ROWDYISM
Don'tbe rowdyish, orget the reputationof being a drunken fellow. Therealfun you get out ofCollegeneed not be a continual round of batting.
ABOUT BEING SNUBBED
Don'tthink it is always entirely theotherman's fault if he fails to speak to you. If you have not the ability to make an impression worth another's remembering,look to yourself.
COLLEGE HABITS
Don'tbe afool. This is the sum and the substance of all that herein precedes. A fellow shows himself a fool or not a fool by hishabits.College habitsare funny things. The sooner you form your College habits thebetter,—orworse. To put off the sensible resolve till the time of your last exam may be as useless as the call of thedoctorafter theministerhas left.
ABOUT BEING THE ASS
Don'timagine for a moment that coming toCollegeenablesyou to act in a superior way to others who have not enjoyed the same privilege. ACollegecareer is a grand, good thing; but itsobjectis to enable you, if possible, better tounderstandthe World, not toliftyou at all above it. The World hates a fool; but aCollege-bred fool, it thoroughly despises. Don't let your ears grow long, and don't bray.
ABOUT BEING A GENTLEMAN
Don'timagine that theCollege Catalogue, or eventhis book, can tell youallthe things you need to know concerning how to make a man of yourself. After all, its reallyup to you. Look about, and be a gentleman. You say, "But these few remarks hardlybeginto solve the problem." And echo answers, "VERBUM SAP."
HERE ENDS THE COLLEGE FRESHMAN'S DON'T BOOK BY G. F. E. (A. B.) A SYMPATHIZER. DECORATIONS AND INITIALS BY RAYMOND CARTER ILLUSTRATIONS BY CHARLES FRANK INGERSON PUBLISHED BY PAUL ELDER & COMPANY AND PRINTED FOR THEM BY THE TOMOYE PRESS UNDER THE DIRECTION OF J. H. NASH IN THE CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO DURING THE MONTH OF MAY AND YEAR NINETEEN HUNDRED & TEN
HERE ENDS THE COLLEGE FRESHMAN'S DON'T BOOK BY G. F. E. (A. B.) A SYMPATHIZER. DECORATIONS AND INITIALS BY RAYMOND CARTER ILLUSTRATIONS BY CHARLES FRANK INGERSON PUBLISHED BY PAUL ELDER & COMPANY AND PRINTED FOR THEM BY THE TOMOYE PRESS UNDER THE DIRECTION OF J. H. NASH IN THE CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO DURING THE MONTH OF MAY AND YEAR NINETEEN HUNDRED & TEN
Transcriber's Notes:All of the illustration captions omit the apostrophe in the word "DON'T." This was retained. All other punctuation was corrected if wrong.Page 9, "you" changed to "your" (your trunk is still)Page 19, repeated word "to" deleted from text. Original read (liable toto fall down...)Page 29, "varities" changed to "varieties" (The varieties differ)
All of the illustration captions omit the apostrophe in the word "DON'T." This was retained. All other punctuation was corrected if wrong.
Page 9, "you" changed to "your" (your trunk is still)
Page 19, repeated word "to" deleted from text. Original read (liable toto fall down...)
Page 29, "varities" changed to "varieties" (The varieties differ)