Hildebd: Release Hilarion, then,And be his brideOr you'll incur the guilt of fratricide!Princess: To yield at once to such a foeWith shame we're rife;So quick! away with him, althoughHe sav'd my life!That he is fair, and strong, and tallIs very evident to all,Yet I will die,Yet I will die, before I call myself hisPrincess: All Others:wife! - —- Oh, yield at once, 'twere betterso,- - - —- Than risk a strife!And let the Prince Hilarion go.He Saved thy life!That Hi-he is la-rion'sfair and fair,strong and andtall, strong and tall,tall,Is - - - - -- - - - - - Avery worse mis-evi- for-dent to tuneall, might befall.YetI will It'sdie, will die before I call not so dreadful after all,Myself his wife! To be his wife!Though I am but a girlDefiance thus I hurlOur banners allOn outer wallWe fearlessly unfurl(The Princess stands, surrounded by girls kneeling. Hildebrand andsoldiers stand on built rocks at back and sides of stage.Picture.)
END OF ACT II
SCENE — Outer Walls and Courtyard of Castle Adamant. Melissa,SachaRissa, and ladies discovered, armed withbattleaxes.CHORUS"Death to the Invader!"Chorus: Death to the invader!Strike a deadly blow,As an old CrusaderStruck his Paynim foe!Let our martial thunderFill his soul with wonder,Tear his ranks asunder,Lay the tyrant low!Death to the invader!Strike a deadly blow,As an old CrusaderStruck his Paynim foe!Melissa: Thus our courage, all untarnish'd,We're instructed to display;But to tell the truth unvarnish'd,We are more inclined to say,"Please you, do not hurt us,"All: "Do not hurt us, if it please you!"Melissa: "Please you let us be."All: "Let us be — let us be!"Melissa: "Soldiers disconcert us."All: "Disconcert us, if it please you!"Melissa: "Frighten'd maids are we!"All: "Maids are we, maids are we!"Melissa: Please you,All: Do not hurt us;Melissa: Please you,All: Let us be.Mel & Cho: Frighten'd maids are we, frighten'd maids are we!Melissa: But 'twould be an errorTo confess our terror,So in Ida's name,Boldly we exclaim:Mel & Cho: Death to the invader!Strike a deadly blow,As an old CrusaderStruck his Paynim foe!(Flourish. Enter Princess, armed, attended by Blanche and Psyche.)Princess: I like your spirit, girls! We have to meetStern bearded warriors in fight to-day;Wear naught but what is necessary toPreserve your dignity before their eyes,And give your limbs full play.Blanche: One moment, ma'am,Here is a paradox we should not passWithout inquiry. We are prone to say"This thing is Needful — that, Superfluous"—Yet they invariably co-exist!We find the Needful comprehended inThe circle of the grand Superfluous,Yet the Superfluous cannot be broughtUnless you're amply furnished with the Needful.These singular considerations are—Princess: Superfluous, yet not Needful — so you seeThe terms may independently exist.(To Ladies) Women of Adamant, we have to showThat women, educated to the task,Can meet Man, face to face, on his own ground,And beat him there. Now, let us set to work;Where is our lady surgeon?Sach.: Madam, here!Princess: We shall require your skill to heal the woundsOf those that fall.Sach.: (Alarmed) What, heal the wounded?Princess: Yes!Sach.: And cut off real live legs and arms?Princess: Of course!Sach.: I wouldn't do it for a thousand pounds!Princess: Why, how is this? Are you faint-hearted, girl?You've often cut them off in theory!Sach.: In theory I'll cut them off againWith pleasure, and as often as you like,But not in practice.Princess: Coward! Get you hence,I've craft enough for that, and courage too,I'll do your work! My fusiliers, advance!,Why, you are armed with axes! Gilded toys!Where are your rifles, pray?Chloe: Why, please you, ma'am,We left them in the armoury, for fearThat in the heat and turmoil of the fight,They might go off!Princess: "They might!" Oh, craven souls!Go off yourselves! Thank heaven I have a heartThat quails not at the thought of meeting men;I will discharge your rifles! Off with you!(Exit Chloe)Where's my bandmistress?Ada: Please you, ma'am, the bandDo not feel well, and can't come out today!Princess: Why, this is flat rebellion! I've no timeTo talk to them just now. But, happily,I can play several instruments at once,And I will drown the shrieks of those that fallWith trumpet music, such as soldiers love!How stand we with respect to gunpowder?My Lady Psyche — you who superintendOur lab'ratory — are you well preparedTo blow these bearded rascals into shreds?Psyche: Why, madam—Princess: Well?Psyche: Let us try gentler means.We can dispense with fulminating grainsWhile we have eyes with which to flash our rage!We can dispense with villainous saltpetreWhile we have tongues with which to blow them up!We can dispense, in short, with all the artsThat brutalize the practical polemist!Princess: (Contemptuously) I never knew a more dispensingchemist!Away, away — I'll meet these men aloneSince all my women have deserted me!(Exeunt all but Princess, singingrefrain of"Please you, do not hurt us",pianissimo.)Princess: So fail my cherished plans — so fails my faith—And with it hope, and all that comes of hope!Song - Princess"I Built upon a Rock"Princess: I built upon a rock,But ere Destruction's handDealt equal lotTo Court and cot,My rock had turn'd to sand!I leant upon an oak,But in the hour of need,Alack-a-day,My trusted stayWas but a bruis-ed reed!A bruis-ed reed!Ah faithless rock,My simple faith to mock!Ah trait'rous oak,Thy worthlessness to cloak,Thy worthlessness to cloak!I drew a sword of steelBut when to home and hearthThe battle's breathBore fire and death,My sword was but a lath!I lit a beacon fire,But on a stormy dayOf frost and rime,In wintertime,My fire had died away,Had died away!Ah, coward steel,That fear can un-anneal!False fire indeed,To fail me in my need,To fail me in my need!(Princess Sinks upon a rock. Enter Chloe and all the Ladies)Chloe: Madam, your father and your brothers claimAn audience!Princess: What do they do here?Chloe: They comeTo fight for you!Princess: Admit them!Blanche: Infamous!One's brothers, ma'am, are men!Princess: So I have heard.But all my women seem to fail me whenI need them most. In this emergency,Even one's brothers may be turned to use.Gama: (Entering, pale and unnerved) My daughter!Princess: Father! Thou art free!Gama: Aye, free!Free as a tethered ass! I come to theeWith words from Hildebrand. Those duly givenI must return to blank captivity.I'm free so far.Princess: Your message.Gama: HildebrandIs loth to war with women. Pit my sons,My three brave sons, against these popinjays,These tufted jack-a-dandy featherheads,And on the issue let thy hand depend!Princess: Insult on insult's head! Are we a stakeFor fighting men? What fiend possesses thee,That thou has come with offers such as theseFrom such as he to such an one as I?Gama: I am possessedBy the pale devil of a shaking heart!My stubborn will is bent. I dare not faceThat devilish monarch's black malignity!He tortures me with torments worse than death,I haven't anything to grumble at!He finds out what particular meats I love,And gives me them. The very choicest wines,The costliest robes — the richest rooms are mine.He suffers none to thwart my simplest plan,And gives strict orders none should contradict me!He's made my life a curse! (Weeps)Princess: My tortured father!SONG (King GAMA with CHORUS of GIRLS)"Whene'er I Spoke"Gama: Whene'er I pokeSarcastic jokeReplete with malice spiteful,This people mildPolitely smil'd,And voted me delightful!Now, when a wightSits up all nightIll-natur'd jokes devising,And all his wilesAre met with smilesIt's hard, there's no disguising!Ah! Oh, don't the days seem lank and longWhen all goes right and nothing goes wrong,And isn't your life extremely flatWith nothing whatever to grumble at!Chorus: Oh, isn't your life extremely flatWith nothing whatever to grumble at!Gama: When German bandsFrom music standsPlay'd Wagner imperfectly —I bade them go—They didn't say no,But off they went directly!The organ boysThey stopp'd their noise,With readiness surprising,And grinning herdsOf hurdy-gurdsRetired apologising!Ah! Oh, don't the days seem lank and longWhen all goes right and nothing goes wrong,And isn't your life extremely flatWith nothing whatever to grumble at!Chorus: Oh, isn't your life extremely flatWith nothing whatever to grumble at!Gama: I offer'd goldIn sums untoldTo all who'd contradict me—I said I'd payA pound a dayTo any one who kick'd me—I've brib'd with toysGreat vulgar boysTo utter something spiteful,But, bless you, no!They would be soConfoundedly politeful!Ah! In short, these aggravating lads,They tickle my tastes, they feed my fads,They give me this and they give me that,And I've nothing whatever to grumble at!Chorus: Oh, isn't your life extremely flatWith nothing whatever to grumble at!(Gama Bursts into tears and falls sobbingon a seat.)Princess: My poor old father! How he must have suffered!Well, well, I yield!Gama: (Hysterically) She yields! I'm saved, I'm saved!(Exit)Princess: Open the gates — admit these warriors,Then get you all within the castle walls.(Exit)(The gates are opened and the Girls mount thebattlements as theSoldiers enter. Arac, Guron and Scynthiusalso enter.)Chorus of Soldiers"When anger spreads his wing"Chorus: When anger spread his wing,And all seems dark as night for it,There's nothing but to fight for it,But ere you pitch your ring,Select a pretty site for it,(This spot is suited quite for it,)And then you gaily sing,And then you gaily sing:"Oh I love the jolly rattleOf an orde-al by battle,There's an end of tittle-tattleWhen your enemy is dead.It's an arrant molly-coddleFears a crack upon his noddleAnd he's only fit to swaddleIn a downy feather-bed!Ladies: For a Soldiers: Oh, Ifight's love thea jollykind rattleof Of anthing orde-al by battleThat I There's anlove end ofto tittlelook tattle,up- When youron, enemy is dead.So It's anlet arrantus molly-sing, coddleLong Fears alive crack uponthe hisKing, noddle,And his And he'sson only fit toHi- swaddle, In ala- downy fea-ri-on! ther bed!(During this, Hilarion, Florian,and Cyril arebrought out by the "Daughters ofthe Plough".They are still bound and wearthe robes.Enter GAMA.)Gama: Hilarion! Cyril! Florian! dressed as women!Is this indeed Hilarion?Hilar.: Yes, it is!Gama: Why, you look handsome in your women's clothes!Stick to 'em! Men's attire becomes you not!(To CYRIL and FLORIAN) And you, young ladies, will you please toprayKing Hildebrand to set me free again?Hang on his neck and gaze into his eyes,He never could resist a pretty face!Hilar.: You dog, you'll find, though I wear woman's garb,My sword is long and sharp!Gama: Hush, pretty one!Here's a virago! Here's a termagant!If length and sharpness go for anything,You'll want no sword while you can wag your tongue!Cyril: What need to waste your words on such as he?He's old and crippled.Gama: Aye, but I've three sons,Fine fellows, young and muscular, and brave,They're well worth talking to! Come, what d'ye say?Arac: Aye, pretty ones, engage yourselves with us,If three rude warriors affright you not!Hilar.: Old as you are, I'd wring your shrivelled neckIf you were not the Princess Ida's father.Gama: If I were not the Princess Ida's father,And so had not her brothers for my sons,No doubt you'd wring my neck — in safety too!Come, come, Hilarion, begin, begin!Give them no quarter — they will give you none.You've this advantage over warriorsWho kill their country's enemies for pay,—You know what you are fighting for — look there!(Pointing to Ladies on thebattlements)(Exit Gamma. Hilarion, Florian, and Cyrilare led off.)SONG (Arac, Guron, Scynthius and Chorus)"This Helmet, I Suppose"Arac: This helmet, I suppose,Was meant to ward off blows,It's very hotAnd weighs a lot,As many a guardsman knows,As many a guardsman knows,As many a guardsman knows,As many a guardsman knows,So off, so off that helmet goes.Others: Yes, yes, yes,So off that helmet goes!(Giving their helmets toattendants)Arac: This tight-fitting cuirassIs but a useless mass,It's made of steel,And weighs a deal,This tight-fitting cuirassIs but a useless mass,A man is but an assWho fights in a cuirass,So off, so off goes that cuirass.Others: Yes, yes, yes,So off goes that cuirass!(Removingcuirasses)Arac: These brassets, truth to tell,May look uncommon well,But in a fightThey're much too tight,They're like a lobster shell,They're like a lobster shell!Others: Yes, yes, yes,They're like a lobster shell.(Removingtheir brassets)Arac: These things I treat the same(indicating leg pieces)(I quite forget their name.)They turn one's legsTo cribbage pegs—Their aid I thus disclaim,Their aid I thus disclaim,Though I forget their name,Though I forget their name,Their aid, their aid I thus disclaim!Others: Yes, yes, yes,All: Their aid (we/they) thus disclaim!(They remove their leg pieces and wear close-fitting shape suits.)Enter Hilarion, Florian, and Cyril(Desperate fight between the three Princesand the threeKnights, during which the Ladies on thebattlements andthe Soldiers on the stage sing thefollowing chorus):CHORUS DURING THE FIGHT"This is our Duty"Chorus: This is our duty plain towardsOur Princess all immaculate,We ought to bless her brothers' swords,And piously ejaculate:Oh, Hungary!Oh, Hungary!Oh, doughty sons of Hungary!May all successAttend and blessYour warlike ironmongery!Hilarion! Hilarion! Hilarion!(By this time, Arac, Guron, andScynthius areon the ground, wounded —Hilarion, Cyril andFlorian standover them.)Princess: (Entering through gate and followed by Ladies,Hildebrand, and Gama.)Hold! stay your hands! — we yield ourselves to you!Ladies, my brothers all lie bleeding there!Bind up their wounds — but look the other way.(Coming down) Is this the end? (Bitterly to LadyBlanche)How say you, Lady Blanche—Can I with dignity my post resign?And if I do, will you then take my place?Blanche: To answer this, it's meet that we consultThe great Potential Mysteries; I meanThe five Subjunctive Possibilities—The May, the Might, the Would, the Could, the Should.Can you resign? The Prince May claim you; ifHe Might, you Could — and if you Should, I Would!Princess: I thought as much! Then to my fate I yield—So ends my cherished scheme! Oh, I had hopedTo band all women with my maiden throng,And make them all abjure tyrannic Man!Hildebd: A noble aim!Princess: You ridicule it now;But if I carried out this glorious scheme,At my exalted name PosterityWould bow in gratitude!Hildebd: But prayreflect —If you enlist all women in your cause,And make them all abjure tyrannic Man,The obvious question then arises, "HowIs this Posterity to be provided?"Princess: I never thought of that! My Lady Blanche,How do you solve the riddle?Blanche: Don't ask me —Abstract Philosophy won't answer it.Take him — he is your Shall. Give in to Fate!Princess: And you desert me. I alone am staunch!Hilarion: Madam, you placed your trust in Woman — well,Woman has failed you utterly — try Man,Give him one chance, it's only fair — besides,Women are far too precious, too divine,To try unproven theories upon.Experiments, the proverb says, are madeOn humble subjects — try our grosser clay,And mould it as you will!Cyril: Remember, tooDear Madam, if at any time you feelA-weary of the Prince, you can returnTo Castle Adamant, and rule your girlsAs heretofore, you know.Princess: And shall I findThe Lady Psyche here?Psyche: If Cyril, ma'am,Does not behave himself, I think you will.Princess: And you Melissa, shall I find you here?Melissa: Madam, however Florian turns out,Unhesitatingly I answer, No!Gama: Consider this, my love, if your mamaHad looked on matters from your point of view(I wish she had), why where would you have been?Blanche: There's an unbounded field of speculation,On which I could discourse for hours!Princess: No doubt!We will not trouble you. Hilarion,I have been wrong — I see my error now.Take me, Hilarion — "We will walk this worldYoked in all exercise of noble end!And so through those dark gates across the wildThat no one knows!" Indeed, I love thee — Come!Finale"With joy abiding"Princess: With joy abiding,Together glidingThrough life's variety,In sweet society,And thus enthroningThe love I'm owning,On this atoningI will rely!Chorus: It were profanityFor poor humanityTo treat as vanityThe sway of Love.In no localityOr principalityIs our mortalityIt's sway above!Hilarion: When day is fading,With serenadingAnd such frivolityOf tender quality—With scented showersOf fairest flowers,The happy hoursWill gaily fly!The happy hours will gaily fly!Chorus: It were profanityFor poor humanityTo treat as vanityThe sway of Love.In no localityOr principalityIs our mortalityIt's sway above!1st Sops: In no lo- Others:cality Or princi- Itspality Is our mor- swaytality It's sway a- a-bove! bove!Princess & With scented Others:Hilarion: showers Of fairest Itsflowers, The happy swayhours will gaily a-fly! bove!All: In no localityOr principalityIs our mortalityAbove the sway of love!
Curtain
orThe Witch's Curse
DRAMATIS PERSONAEMORTALSSIR RUTHVEN MURGATROYD (disguised as Robin Oakapple, a YoungFarmer)RICHARD DAUNTLESS (his Foster-Brother, a Man-o'-war's man)SIR DESPARD MURGATROYD, OF RUDDIGORE (a Wicked Baronet)OLD ADAM GOODHEART (Robin's Faithful Servant)ROSE MAYBUD (a Village Maiden)MAD MARGARETDAME HANNAH (Rose's Aunt)ZORAH and RUTH (Professional Bridesmaids)GHOSTSSIR RUPERT MURGATROYD (the First Baronet)SIR JASPER MURGATROYD (the Third Baronet)SIR LIONEL MURGATROYD (the Sixth Baronet)SIR CONRAD MURGATROYD (the Twelfth Baronet)SIR DESMOND MURGATROYD (the Sixteenth Baronet)SIR GILBERT MURGATROYD (the Eighteenth Baronet)SIR MERVYN MURGATROYD (the Twentieth Baronet)andSIR RODERIC MURGATROYD (the Twenty-first Baronet)Chorus of Officers, Ancestors, Professional Bridesmaids, andVillagersACT IThe Fishing Village of Rederring, in CornwallACT IIThe Picture Gallery in Ruddigore CastleTIMEEarly in the 19th Century