The three Kings ofBrentford, being some Historical Observations on three mighty Monarchs in our World, whose Heroick Actions may be the Subject of future Ages, being like to do little in this, the King ofEngland, King ofPoland, and King ofSpain. These are describ'd by a Figure, representing a Castle in the Air, and three Knights pointing at it, but theycould not catch.
I omit abundance of very excellent pieces, because remote, as three great Volumes ofEuropeanMisteries, among the vast varieties of which, and very entertaining, I observ'd but a few, such as these:
1. Why PrinceRagotskiwill make no Peace with the Emperor.--- But more particularly why the Emperor won't make Peace with him.
2. Where the Policy of the King ofSwedenlies, to persue the King ofPoland, and let theMuscovitesravage and destroy his own Subjects.
3. What the Duke ofBavariapropos'd to himself in declaring forFrance.
4. Why the Protestants of the Confederacy never reliev'd theCamisars.
5. Why there are no Cowards found in theEnglishService, but among their Sea Captains.
6. Why the King ofPortugaldid not takeMadrid, why theEnglishdid not takeCadiz, and why theSpaniardsdid not takeGibraltar, viz. because the first were Fools, the second Knaves, and the lastSpaniards.
7. What became of all the Silver taken atVigo.
8. Who will be the next King ofScotland.
9. IfEnglandshould ever want a King, who would think it worth while to accept of it.
10. What specifick difference can be produc'd between a Knave, a Coward, and a Traytor.
Abundance of these Mysteries are Hieroglyphically describ'd in this ample Collection, and without doubt our great Collection of Annals, and Historical Observations, particularly the Learned Mr.Walker, would make great Improvements there.
But to come nearer home,There, tomy great Amasement, I found several new Tracts out of our own Language, which I could hardly have imagin'd it possible should have reacht so far.
As first, sundry Transactions of our Royal Society about Winds, and a valuable Desertation of Dr.B.....'s about Wind in the Brain.
A Discourse of Poisons, by the Learned Dr.M.....withLunarNotes upon it, wherein it appears that Dr.C....dhad more Poison in his Tongue, than all the Adders the Moon have in their Teeth.
Nec Non, or LawyersLatinturn'd intoLunar Burlesque. The Hyerogliphick was theQueens Mony tost in a Blanket, Dedicated to the Attorney General, and five falseLatinCouncellors.
Mandamus, as it was Acted atAbb...tonAssizes, by Mr. So....r General, where the Qu..n had her own So...r against her for a bad Cause, and never a Counsel for her in a good one.
Lunar Reflections, being a List of about 2000 ridiculous Errors in History, palpable Falsities, and scandalous Omissions in Mr.Collier's Geographical Dictionary; with a subsequent Enquiry by way of Appendix, into which are his own, and which he has ignorantly deduc'd from ancient Authors.
Assassination and Killing of Kings, prov'd to be a Church ofEnglandDoctrin; humbly Dedicated to the Prince ofWales, by Mr.Collierand Mr.Snat; wherein their Absolving SirJohn Friendand SirWilliam Parkinswithout Repentance, and while they both own'd and justify'd the Fact, is Vindicated and Defended.
Les Bagatelles, orBrom..ysTravels intoItaly, a choice Book, and by great Accident preserv'd from the malitious Design of the Author, who diligently Bought up the whole Impression, for fear they should be seen, as a thing of which this ungrateful Age was not worthy.
Killing no Murther, being an Account of the severe Justice design'd to be inflicted on the barbarous Murtherers of the honest Constable atBow, but unhappily prevented by my LordN.....mbeing turn'd out of his Office.
De modo Belli, or an Account of the best Method of making Conquests and Invasiona la Mode de Port St. Mary, 3 Volumes in 80. Dedicated to SirHen. Bell...s.
KingCharlesthe first prov'd a T...t. ByEdwardEarl ofClarendon, 3 Vol. in Fol. Dedicated to the University ofOxford.
The Bawdy Poets, or new and accurate Editions ofCatullus,Propertius, andTibullus, being the Maiden-head of the new Printing Press atCambridge, Dedicated by the Editor Mr.Ann...yto the University, and in consideration of which, and some Disorders nearCasterton, the University thought him fit to represent them in P......t.
Alms no Charity, or the Skeleton of SirHumphry Mackworth's Bill for relief of the Poor: Being an excellent new Contrivance to find Employment for all the Poor in the Nation,viz.By setting them at Work, to make all the rest of the People as Poor as themselves.
Synodicum Superlativum, being sixteen large Volumes of the vigorous Proceedings of theEnglishConvocation, digestedinto Years, one Volume to every Year. -- Wherein are several large Lists of the Heretical, Atheistical, Deistical and other pernitious Errors which have been Condemn'd in that Venerable Assembly, the various Services done, and weighty Matters dispatcht, for the Honour of theEnglishChurch, for sixteen Years last past, with their formal Proceedings againstAsgil,Coward,Tolandand others, for reviving old Antiquated Errors in Doctrine, and Publishing them to the World as their own.
New Worlds in Trade, being a vast Collection out of the Journals of the Proceedings of the Right Honourable theCommissioners of Trade, with several Eminent Improvements ingeneral Negoce, vast Schemes of Business, and new Discoveries of Settlements and Correspondences in Forreign Parts, for the Honour and Advantage of theEnglishMerchants, being 12 Volumes in Fol. and very scarce and valluable Books.
Legal Rebellion, or an Argument proving that all sorts of Insurrections of Subjects against their Princes, are lawful, and to be supported whenever they suit with our Occasions, made good from the Practice ofFrancewith theHungarians, theEnglishwith theCamisars, theSwedewith thePoles, the Emperor with the Subjects ofNaples, and all the Princes of the World as they find occasion, a large Volume in Folio, with a Poem upon the Sacred Right of Kingly Power.
Ignis Fatuusor the Occasional Bill in Minature, a Farce, as it was acted by his Excellency the LordGr...il's Servants inCarolina.
Running away the shortest way to Victory, being a large Dissertation, shewing to save the Queens Ships, is the best way to beat theFrench.
The Tookites, a Poem upon the 134.
A new Tract upon Trade, being a Demonstration that to be always putting the People upon customary Mourning, and wearing Black upon every State Occasion, is an excellent Encouragement to Trade, and a means to employ the Poor.
City Gratitude, being a Poem on the Statue erected by the Court of Aldermen at the upper end ofCheapside, to the Immortal Memory of KingWilliam.
There were many more Tracts to be found in this place; but these may suffice for a Specimen, and to excite all Men that would encrease their Understandings in humane Mysteries, to take a Voyage to this enlightned Country. Where their Memories, thinking Faculties and Penetration, will no question be so Tackt and Consolidated, that when they return, they all Write Memoirs of the Place, and communicate to their Country the Advantages they have reapt by their Voyage, according to the laudable Example of their
Most humble Servant,The Man in the Moon.