Wanted, a Fouché for Washington.—It is high time that a good, sharp detective police officer was set to work to discover the source of the continued leakage of our government's plans. Of our late naval flotilla for Beaufort, we are told that 'The positive destination of our fleet was known even in New Orleans on the 17th ult.,—weeks before it was known in the North! and extra troops were dispatched from points south of Charleston to defend the approaches of that coast.' We are informed that every care was exercised to prevent the destination of the expedition being made public; with how much effect the above quoted paragraph fully demonstrates. In view of this, I repeat that aFouché, a keen detective, is wanted at head-quarters; believing that any man with half the shrewdness of the celebrated 'Duke of Otranto' would pin the traitor in less than twenty-four hours. That such a man can easily be found, any one who has learned what American detectives have done, can readily believe. Active, intelligent, and wide awake, the American who by necessity takes up this life, brings to bear upon his investigations the shrewdness of a savage, the tenacity of an Englishman, and, in a modified degree, theaplombof a Parisian. No one can readPoe's'Murder of the Rue Morgue' without recognizing at a glance the latent talent that would have made of the cloudy poet a brilliant policeman, and would have won for him the ducal fortune without the empty title. If we must handle the Southern mutineers in their Rebelutionary war with a velvet glove, let there be an iron hand inside, worked by the high-pressure power of public indignation at their treachery and faithlessness. We should stop this leakage of our plans, cost what it may, and the traitorous Southern correspondent meet the execration ofArnold, and the fate ofAndré. The iron hand should stop the treacherous pen, should choke the wagging tongue. The North demands it.
Wanted, a Fouché for Washington.—It is high time that a good, sharp detective police officer was set to work to discover the source of the continued leakage of our government's plans. Of our late naval flotilla for Beaufort, we are told that 'The positive destination of our fleet was known even in New Orleans on the 17th ult.,—weeks before it was known in the North! and extra troops were dispatched from points south of Charleston to defend the approaches of that coast.' We are informed that every care was exercised to prevent the destination of the expedition being made public; with how much effect the above quoted paragraph fully demonstrates. In view of this, I repeat that aFouché, a keen detective, is wanted at head-quarters; believing that any man with half the shrewdness of the celebrated 'Duke of Otranto' would pin the traitor in less than twenty-four hours. That such a man can easily be found, any one who has learned what American detectives have done, can readily believe. Active, intelligent, and wide awake, the American who by necessity takes up this life, brings to bear upon his investigations the shrewdness of a savage, the tenacity of an Englishman, and, in a modified degree, theaplombof a Parisian. No one can readPoe's'Murder of the Rue Morgue' without recognizing at a glance the latent talent that would have made of the cloudy poet a brilliant policeman, and would have won for him the ducal fortune without the empty title. If we must handle the Southern mutineers in their Rebelutionary war with a velvet glove, let there be an iron hand inside, worked by the high-pressure power of public indignation at their treachery and faithlessness. We should stop this leakage of our plans, cost what it may, and the traitorous Southern correspondent meet the execration ofArnold, and the fate ofAndré. The iron hand should stop the treacherous pen, should choke the wagging tongue. The North demands it.
And yet again, since the above was penned, we learn that it has been ascertained by a balloon reconnaissance that a projected flank movement, planned by GeneralMcClellanand confided to a very limited number, had been completely anticipated—indicating the basest treachery in a high quarter. Very agreeable this to all interested in the war! And what does it mean?
It means that Washington, and not Washington alone, but the entire North, needs purging and purifying from most injurious influences. There are traitors among us everywhere—where two or three are gathered together will be one who sneers at Northern successes, smiles at Southern victory, and is a traitor at heart—ready to be a spy if needed.
No wonder that warm friends of the Union sometimes burst out into indignant remonstrance and fierce complaint at such toleration!
Still, we must look at the matter philosophically; rather in sorrow than in anger, for thus only can we correct the evil. There is a large number of well-meaning people, especially in Washington, who have lived only for and in a society in which Southern influence greatly predominated. Familiar with the wildest excitement of politics, yet accustomed to regard the leaders of all parties as equally unprincipled, and only persuaded of the single social fact, that it is highly respectable to own slaves, they can not see, even in the horrors of war, anything more than the old excitement, in which shrewd and wily politicians continue to pull wires. And in many other places besides Washington do the voices of pleasant interests, or the echoes of pleasant memories, recall old friendships or old ties. The head may be patriotic and union-loving and at war with the South, but the heart is peaceful and clings to ancient memories.
Now, if there is anything, dear reader, which is allied to real goodness, it is this very same soft-heartedness which we find it so hard to thoroughly condemn, even in such a case as that of the good Scotch clergyman, who pitied and prayed for 'the poor auld deevil' himself. But here it is that the 'gallant Southron' has the advantage over us. No lingering love for Northern friends of olden time, no kindly regard for by-gone intimacies, flashes up from the darkened abyss of 'Dixey.' And, to be frank and fair, reader, does it not seem to you that while the business in hand is literalfighting, not without much 'battle, murder and sudden death,' it would be at least respectful to the awful destiny of the hour to treat its ways seriously?
But let it foam and surge on, the time is coming when the great stream of Northern freedom will purify itself from all the foul stains of its old stagnation. Perhaps years may be required, but this we know,—that the dam has been broken away at last, and that now the glad torrent whirls bravely onward in sparkling young life. For at length the time is coming when a healthyNorthernsentiment shall make itself felt, where of old it was carefully excluded, and the fresh breeze from the Northern pines shall purify the sickly air. They will pass away, these of the old generation—there will arise better ones to take their place, and all shall be changed.
Meanwhile, for all our late great victories and advances, let us be thankful! not forgetting the smaller crumbs of comfort—as, for instance, the capture ofSlidell, Masonand Co., which a friend has kindly recorded for your benefit, most excellent reader, in the following chapter:—
Now it came to pass in the first year of the great Rebellion
In the land of Secessia, whose men were men of Belial, hard of heart, and inflamed with exceeding great wrath against the children of the North, and against all people who walked in the way of truth and justice:
Meditating evil from the first mint-julep before breakfast, even unto the last nip of corn whisky before retiring;—
In the isles of the South, and on the firm land, whereCottonwas king, andJefferson, whose surname wasDavis, was his prophet; whereBenjamin, the finder of stray watches and spoons, andFloyd, the spoiler, were priests—Oh, my soul, enter thou not into their counsels!—
Lo! it came to pass that there arose a great cry from among the people;
A great and vehement cry, a wailing and roaring as of many of the chivalry when they burn with strong drink at quarter races, or smite with bowie-knives in a free fight around the court-house:
The cry of many women and children, to say nothing of editors, politicians, dirt-eaters, and negro auctioneers:
Saying, 'Lo! these many days have we been closed up by the Yankees, even like unto a pint of Bourbon in an exceedingly tight-corked bottle, so that nothing may go out or in, and who shall say what may be the end thereof?
'Since the blockade presseth sorely upon our ports, the merchandise of many lands cometh not therein, and we are entirely out of groceries.
'Having neither balm nor myrrh, spices nor tea, coffee nor brandy.
'Quinine is not among us, neither have we cheese, shoes, sugar, jack-knives, cigars, patent medicines, glue, tenpenny nails, French gloves, pens or ink, dye-stuffs, nor raisins.
'Clothes are exceeding scarce, for, lo! we are becoming an extremely ragged and seedy generation; our toes stick out through our last year's boots, neither is there any one among us who knoweth enough to make the first principle of a brogan.
'For all these things were made or imported by the Yankees afore-time, even since the days of our fathers, and we are too proud to defile our hands with such base labor.
'Shall we, too, be as dogs cobbling shoes, or as the heathen who sell rat-traps, peddle milk-pails, and keep Thanksgiving?
'Lo! the kings of the earth see us with scorn; those who sit in high places wag their heads, and say we are naught, yea, polluted in our inheritance.
'And theTimeswill declare that we sit in ashes; even theMoniteurwill say that we devour dust, and theZeitungsof all Germany, even the press of the Philistines, will proclaim that we are utterly fallen.
'Now let there be a long pull, a strong pull, and a pull all together, to settle this business.
'Let there be ambassadors—men of subtle tongue, cunning in counsel—chosen to go forth; yea, let them be equipped in fine raiment, having bran-new coats to confer honor and glory upon us, with secretaries and assistant secretaries, sub-secretaries and deputy-assistant sub-secretaries,—even these having their servants and servants' servants,—lo, the least among them shall have his underling, and so onad infinitum.
'And we, albeit poor, will lavish gold out of the bag, and weigh silver in the balance, and hire a goldsmith, who shall bedeck them exceeding fine, so that the princes and potentates shall fall down before them, yea, shall worship.
'Then, when our great embassy cometh, and the princes inquire of the blockade, lo, our messengers shall laugh and say, "Go to!—it is naught, it hath passed away, and is bosh."'
'"Are we not here, ready to declare the end from the beginning, and from ancient times, even ofCalhoun, the things that are not yet done, saying, 'our counsel shall stand?' Verily, it takes us, and we are the original Jacobs, having no connection with the bogus concern over the way."
'And they shall cotton to us, and we unto them; and we will trade our tobacco for their wines, andPro Baccho Tobaccoshall be written in all the high places.'
NowJefferson, whose surname should have been Brick, but that it was not, seeing that it wasDavis.
Saw the counsel that it was good.
And having seen it, and set his eyes upon the egg which their wisdom had hatched, and pronounced it a good egg;
Chose him of his chief men two, whereof the like were not to be found—no, not in all the North, and in the South was not their equal.
Whereof the first was aMason, the like of whom was not known, not in the land of Huram of old, nor among the Hittites or the dwellers by the sea.
For he was like unto a turkey-cock, stuck up and of excessive pride, spreading himself and strutting vehemently from the rising of the sun even unto the going down ofthe same; ineffably great in his own conceit, swelling in vanity, puffed up like a bladder even nigh unto bursting;
So that the little ones in the market-place cried after him, 'Big Injiun, heap big!'
And the other was a 'little' New Yorker, even a renegade of the North, one who had backslidden from the ways of his fathers, and that right ill. Wherefore he was calledSlide-ill. Howbeit some termed himSly-deal, from his dealings both with cards and with men.
But it came to pass that they called himSlidell, forasmuch as that he was one who naturally took the whole ell, whether one gave him an inch or no.
Now they packed their trunks, and took unto them 'poorEustis,' and many others equally talented and important.
Not forgetting their wives, neither their man-servants nor their maid-servants, their wines nor their cigars.
Howbeit they took not with them the bonds of the Confederacy, lest the Paris shop-keepers should say, 'Go to—it is naught;'
But divers eagles and dimes, stolen afore-time fromUncle Sam, took they. Likewise bills of exchange and circular letters of credit upon certain of the Jews.
And so they went down unto the sea in ships,—even in a steam-ship,—sailing to the Havana, where she was unladed of her burden.
Now when the ambassadors, and they which bore the words of the king, had sailed.
Lo, there was great rejoicing in all Secessia,—there was naught heard save the voices of renegade Northern editors,—[for that the Southerners know not to write],—
Saying, 'Come, let us be glad; laugh, O thou my soul.
'For they have gone, they have escaped, they have got away, they have dodged, they have cut stick, they have vamosed the ranch.
'They have ripped it full chisel, they are off licketty-split, they have slid, they have made tracks, they have mizzled—they have absquatulated and clipped it;abiit, evasit, crupit! Hurrah for us!
'Lo, the Yankees are brought low—the nasty, mercenary, low-born, infernal mudsills are defiled, and become as a vain thing.Gloria!
'For our messengers are on the high seas; they areO. K.; they shall deliver us from the pit.Victoria!
'They will drive things chuck to the hub in slasher-gaff style; our foes shall become even as dead birds in the pit; they shall be euchred, and discounted, and we will rake down the pot.
'Come, let us take drinks, for who shall stand against us?'
Now it came to pass that whenUncle Samuelheard of these things, he was sorely riled; yea, his wrath was like unto a six-story stack of wolverines and wild-cats, mixed with sudden death and patent chain-lightning.
Howbeit he lost no time, and tarried not to take a long swear over the business,
But sent forth his ships:
Sending likewiseThurlow, whose surname wasWeed, to prevail overMasonandSly-deal, and come vitriol over their vinegar.
But when the people heardThurlowsay, 'I go, indeed, unto Europe, but not on this business—Slidellmay slide for aught I care,'
Then the multitude winked one unto the other, so that such terrible winking was never before seen,
Exclaiming, 'Oh, yes—in a horn. We knew it not before, but now we know it for certain.'
And a certainSimeon, whose surname wasDraper, stood up in the market-place and wagered thatThurlowwould pull the wool over Mason, and humble him;
And there were no takers.Selah.
Now there was a valiant captain, a man of war, hating all iniquity even as poison.
And his name wasWilkes—honor and praise to it in all lands!—
Captain of the San Jacinto, cruising for a pirate on the high seas, even for the Sumter.
And he came from Africa, even from the East unto the Havana, in an isle of the sea which lieth under the tower of the Moro;
Where he heard from his Consul strange news, saying thatMasonandSlidellhad sailed in a British steamer, even the Trent,which saileth between Vera Cruz, Havana, and St. Thomas.
Then said the captain, 'Shall I refrain myself to stop this iniquity?
'Arise, oh my soul, gird thyself, and go forth; tarry not, but nab them in their wickedness.
'Take them where the hair is short; jerk them, and pull them even as the fancy policeman pulleth the pickpocket when he seeth him picking the pocket of the righteous.
'Shall I hold back my hand when my country calleth? Not if I know it.Selah.
'Up steam and after them, oh my soul; let there be coal under the boilers, oh my heart; let the way in which we shall travel be a caution, faster than Flora Temple or any other man.
'Fling forth the stripes and stars—hoist the rag, thou galiant sailior; go it strong as it can be mixed. For the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.'
Now it came to pass at the end of the first day that they saw the Trent in the Bermudas, even in the channel.
Then the brave captain sent on board LieutenantFairfax,—which in the Norse tongue is Harfager or Fair-Haired; since it runneth in the family to be sea-kings, and brave on the ocean.
And he, mounting the ship, cried aloud, 'Where are they?'
Then the Englishman replied, 'I know not whom ye seek,—lo, they are not here!'
Then he, seeingMasona little apart, cried, 'Lo! here he is.'
AndMason, hearing this, turned to the color of ashes; his knees smote together; he became even as a boiled turkey-cock; there was no soul left in him.
Yea, even his collar wilted, and the stock of his heart went down ninety-five per cent.
Howbeit he said, with Slidell, 'We will not go save we be forced.'
'Then' repliedFairfax, 'I shall take you by force.'
So they held a council together, and resolved to go.
But their wives and little ones they sent on to Europe, and gave instructions to poorEustis.
Bidding him go in when it should rain, and be sure and put up his umbrella if he had one.
Likewise to bear certain documents promptly and speedily to the kings and princes;
WhichWilkeshearing, he speedily smashed, taking poorEustiswith the papers.
This was the end of the Council of Trent. It was not that great council of the name, but a very small one, and which came to nothing—small potatoes, and few in a hill. Selah!
Now it had come to pass years before, and was on record,
ThatMason, having been asked to visit Boston,
Replied, 'Verily, verily, I say unto you that I will not set foot therein again save as an ambassador to that land.'
Now these things were remembered against him, and printed in all the papers, even in the Boston papers printed they them.
And they bare him into prison, withSlidell, and poorEustiswas he borne of them.
And they seemed extremely wamble-cropt and chop-fallen; their feathers shone not, even their sickle-feathers drooped in the dust, and their combs were white.
And they seemed as unclean men caught in their unrighteousness, who had been sold uncommonly cheap, with nary buyer.
And they took from them the gold which they had stolen afore-time fromUncle Sam, even the bills upon the Hebrews did they yield up. Howbeit, they received a receipt for them.
And they asked much, 'How shall we feed, and may we have servants?' and wished to live pleasantly; yet, when at Richmond,Slidellhad reviled the Yankee prisoners sorely, and counseled harsh treatment.
Then went they into the jug, and were allotted each man his bunk in the prison-house.
And the word went forth to hang all pirates and robbers on the sea, even as it had been spoken sternly byOld Abe, of Washington;
Saying, string them up in short order.
And if they of Secessia hang the braveCorcoranand his friends,
Then, as theLordliveth,SlidellandMasonshall pull hemp; even on the gallows shall they hang like thieves and murderers—the land hath sworn it.Selah!
'Soundon the Goose Question.'
Who is there among our readers who has not heard that phrase? It has now for some years been transferred from one political topic to another, until its flavor of novelty is well-nigh gone. Butwhencethe expression? An antiquarian would probably hint at the geese whose sound saved Rome. The great goose question of the Reformation was the burning of one Huss, whose name in English signifyeth Goose, for which reason he is said to have exclaimed to his tormentors 'Now ye indeed roast a goose, but, lo! after me there will come a swan whom ye can not roast;' which was strangely fulfilled inLuther, whose name—slightly varied—signifies in Bohemian a swan. But, reader, 'an it please you,' here is the original and 'Simon Pure' explanation, as furnished by a correspondent:—
'Are you right on the goose question?' But do you know the origin of the phrase? It was told to me, at Harrisburg, in Pennsylvania, when I was there in "Fremont's time,"anno1856. Alas! the fates deal hardly with Fremont. C. and F., now a satellite of C., helped to slaughter him once before in Pennsylvania—sold him out to Know-Nothings. Hope they haven't now in Missouri pitched him over to be succeeded by Do-Nothings. But to the story. Harrisburg has wide, clean, brick sidewalks. Many of the poorer sort there kept geese years ago, and sold or ate their progeny in the days of November and December—the "embersof the dying year." Jenkins was up for constable. The question whether geese should run at large was started. The Harrisburg geese made at times bad work on the clean sidewalks, as do their examplars, spitting on thepaveof Broadway. A delegation of the geese-owners waited on Jenkins. Seeing that they had many votes, he declared himself in favor of the geese running at large. The better sort of people, who were in favor of clean sidewalks, hearing of this, set up an opposition candidate, who avowed himself opposed to having the sidewalks fouled by these errant fowls. The canvass waxed warm; a third candidate took the field; he put himself in the hands of an astute "trainer" for the political fray. We don't know whether or not this was before the day when Mr. Cameron counseled in politics at Harrisburg, but his Mentor bid this new candidate, when the delegations applied for his views on the all-absorbing issues, to say nothing himself, but to refer to him, the Mentor aforesaid. And when the delegations accordingly came to Mentor to find the position of the third candidate, he said to each, with unction, "You will find my friend sound on the goose question." Third candidate was elected. His story got wind, and from that day till Bull Run all the politicians of the land have striven likewise to be 'sound on the goose question.'
'Are you right on the goose question?' But do you know the origin of the phrase? It was told to me, at Harrisburg, in Pennsylvania, when I was there in "Fremont's time,"anno1856. Alas! the fates deal hardly with Fremont. C. and F., now a satellite of C., helped to slaughter him once before in Pennsylvania—sold him out to Know-Nothings. Hope they haven't now in Missouri pitched him over to be succeeded by Do-Nothings. But to the story. Harrisburg has wide, clean, brick sidewalks. Many of the poorer sort there kept geese years ago, and sold or ate their progeny in the days of November and December—the "embersof the dying year." Jenkins was up for constable. The question whether geese should run at large was started. The Harrisburg geese made at times bad work on the clean sidewalks, as do their examplars, spitting on thepaveof Broadway. A delegation of the geese-owners waited on Jenkins. Seeing that they had many votes, he declared himself in favor of the geese running at large. The better sort of people, who were in favor of clean sidewalks, hearing of this, set up an opposition candidate, who avowed himself opposed to having the sidewalks fouled by these errant fowls. The canvass waxed warm; a third candidate took the field; he put himself in the hands of an astute "trainer" for the political fray. We don't know whether or not this was before the day when Mr. Cameron counseled in politics at Harrisburg, but his Mentor bid this new candidate, when the delegations applied for his views on the all-absorbing issues, to say nothing himself, but to refer to him, the Mentor aforesaid. And when the delegations accordingly came to Mentor to find the position of the third candidate, he said to each, with unction, "You will find my friend sound on the goose question." Third candidate was elected. His story got wind, and from that day till Bull Run all the politicians of the land have striven likewise to be 'sound on the goose question.'
Therefore let us be duly thankful that the time hath come when it shall no longer advantage a man to say, 'Lo! I am sound,' or—asPrince Albertwas reported to reply constantly to his royal consort during the early years of their marriage—'I dinks joost asyoudinks,'—since in these—days vigorousactsand not quibbling words are the only coin which shall pass current in politics.
Never was there an institution which required such constant repairing as 'the great Southern system.' One of the latest and most terrible leaks discovered is that of the danger to be apprehended from an influx of vile Yankee immigrants after the North shall have been conquered. Unless this is prevented, say the Charleston papers, who dictate pretty independently to the whole of Dixie, we shall have sacrificed in vain our blood and treasure, since nothing is more evident than that at no distant day the Northern men among us will be fully able to control our elections. Therefore it is proposed that no Northern man ever be allowed the right of naturalization in the South.
But as even Southern injustice has not as yet the insolence to restrict this precious prohibition to 'Yankees,' it is sequentially proposed that with the exception of those foreigners now in the South, no person, not a (white) native, shall ever, after this war, be allowed the rights of citizenship in the C. S. A. There has not been, that we are aware, any opposition to this hospitable proposition, but,on the contrary, it has been most largely circulated and approved of.
It must be admitted that the South is in one thing at least praiseworthy. It is consistent—to say nothing of being thoroughly in earnest. To exclude all poor white immigrants from civil, and consequently social privileges, is perfectly in keeping with its long expressed contempt for mudsills. It legislates for F. F.'s, and for them alone. It wants no Irish, no Germans, no foreign element of any description between itself and the negro. It will make unto itself a China within a wall of cotton-bales, and be sublimely magnificent within itself.
But what of the Border, or, asGeo. Saundersaptly called them, the Tobacco States? (By the by, where is now that eminent rejected of the C. S. A.?) The Patent Office Report for 1852 spoke as follows of Fairfax County, Virginia, where thousands of acres of land have become exhausted through slave labor, abandoned as worthless, and reduced to a wilderness:—
'These lands have been purchased by Northern emigrants, the large tracts divided and subdivided and cleared of pines, and neat farm-houses and barns, with smiling fields of grain and grass in the season, salute the delighted gaze of the beholder. Ten years ago it was a mooted question whether Fairfax lands could be made productive, and if so, would they pay the cost? This problem has been satisfactorily solved by many, and in consequence of the above altered state of things, school-houses and churches have doubled in number.'
'These lands have been purchased by Northern emigrants, the large tracts divided and subdivided and cleared of pines, and neat farm-houses and barns, with smiling fields of grain and grass in the season, salute the delighted gaze of the beholder. Ten years ago it was a mooted question whether Fairfax lands could be made productive, and if so, would they pay the cost? This problem has been satisfactorily solved by many, and in consequence of the above altered state of things, school-houses and churches have doubled in number.'
But school-houses and churches are not what the C. S. A. want. 'Let us alone with your Yankee contrivances. "Smiling fields indeed!"—we want no smiling among us save the "smiles" of old Monongahela or Bourbon. The fiery Southern heart does not condescend to smile. "Neat farm-houses!" They may do for your Northern serfs—we'll none of them.' Verily the C. S. A. is a stupendous power, which, according to the development of its own avowed principles, must necessarily become greater as it is more and more limited to fewer persons. In due time these will be reduced to hundreds, those in time to scores, until, finally, all Southerndom shall be merged in one individual quintessentially concentrated exponent of Cottondom, who must needs be, perforce, so intensely respectable and so sublimely aristocratic that Northern eye may not see nor Northern heart feel the magnitude of his superiority, or pierce the gloom wherein he shall sit, 'a sceptred hermit, wrapped in the solitude of his own originality.'
Five of the present Cabinet, with SecretaryCameronat their head, have expressed themselves fairly and fully in favor of Emancipation,—foreseeing its inevitable realization, and, we presume, the necessity of 'managing' it betimes. Only Messrs.SewardandBateshang timidly behind, waiting for stronger manifestations, ere they hang out their flags. Meanwhile, from the rural districts of the East and West come thousand-fold indications that the great 'working majority' of Northern freemen—the same who electedLincolnand urged on the war in thunder-tones and lightning acts—are sternly determined to press the great measure, and purify this country for once and forever of its great bitterness. It is a foregone conclusion.
'If you would know what your neighbors think of you,' says an old proverb, 'quarrel with them.' It has not been necessary of late to quarrel with England to ascertainheropinion of us, as expressed by her editors, writers, and men of the highest standing. Our war with the South has brought it out abundantly, and the result is a great dislike of everything American, save cotton! We are not of those who would at this time say too much on the subject,—every expression of Anglophobia is just now nuts to the C. S. A., who would dearly relish a war between us and the mother country,—but we may point tothe significant fact recently laid in a laconic letter by 'RailwayTrain,' that while everything is done in England to preserve a 'strict neutrality,' as regards the North, and while the most vexatious hinderances are placed in the way of exporting aught which may aid us,—muchgratuitouspains being taken to prevent any material aid to the Federal government,—vessels are allowed to load openly with all contraband of war, even to arms and ammunition, for the avowed purpose of supplying the South. This is not mererumor—it has been amply confirmed for months.
Very well, gentlemen; very well, indeed. We may remember all your kindness and the depth of your zealous abolition philanthropy. 'Haud immemor.' But you are reasoning on false grounds. You forget that it is almost as important for you to self your manufactures to America as to get cotton from it. And articles in theTimes, and speeches from your first statesmen, show that you really believe the enormous fib so generally current, that the South consumes the very great majority of all our imports. 'The South is where the North makes all its money—the South does everything.'
Do not believe it. The entire South consumes only about one sixth or seventh of all Imports, and contributes no greater proportion to the wealth of the North. But the North, with a very little sacrifice, can free itself almost entirely from dependence on your manufactures, and if, in homely parlance, you 'give us any more of your impudence,' shewill—will most decidedly. There is even a stronger king than Cotton here; we may call him King Market. Let King Market once lay hands on you, and whereas you were before only broken,thenyou will be ground to powder.
Over many a home since the last New Year, Death has cast the shadow, which may grow dimmer with time, or change to other hues, but which never entirely departs. But now he comes with strange, unwonted form, for he comes from the battle-field as well as the far-off home of fever, or the icy lair of consumption, and those left behind know only of the departed that he died for honor.
'My brother! oh, my brother!' Such a cry arose not long ago in a family, for one of the best and bravest whom this country has ever known. And more than one has brought back from the war a sorrowful narrative of a long farewell inclosed in as brief and touching words as those of the following lyric:—
I.
My brother, take my hand;The darkness covers me,And now I fly to thee;O, hear my call!II.My brother, take my hand;Weary, and sick, and faint,To thee I make complaint,Who art my all.III.My brother, take my hand;Though pale it is and thin,The same blood flows withinThat is in thine.IV.My brother, take my hand;It's all I have to give;O, let me, while I live,Press it to thine.V.My brother, take my hand;And with the hand receiveThe blessing which I leave,Before I die.VI.My brother, take my hand;And when at last you come,I will receive you home,—The home on high.
A correspondent in Ohio sends us the following:—
'It is a good thing for a weak brother to have faith; and some one to rely on is to such an especial blessing. SquireBullardwas wont to find such a prop in his friend DeaconParrish, who, he firmly believed, "knew everything."'Near by the Squire lived a graceless oldinfidel namedMyers, who was wont to entangle his simple neighbors in arguments sadly vexing to their orthodoxy. On one occasion he devoted an hour to prove toBullardthat there was no future after death.'"Well," exclaimed Squire B——, "you kin talk jest as much as ye please. Free speech is permitted; but I don't believe ye. I tell you what,Myers, the soulisimmortal; I'll bet five dollars on it, and leave it to DeaconParrish!"'
'It is a good thing for a weak brother to have faith; and some one to rely on is to such an especial blessing. SquireBullardwas wont to find such a prop in his friend DeaconParrish, who, he firmly believed, "knew everything."
'Near by the Squire lived a graceless oldinfidel namedMyers, who was wont to entangle his simple neighbors in arguments sadly vexing to their orthodoxy. On one occasion he devoted an hour to prove toBullardthat there was no future after death.
'"Well," exclaimed Squire B——, "you kin talk jest as much as ye please. Free speech is permitted; but I don't believe ye. I tell you what,Myers, the soulisimmortal; I'll bet five dollars on it, and leave it to DeaconParrish!"'
This is indeed believing in human power; and yet who would laughthroughhis heart at it? For it is this samebeliefin other men, mere mortals like ourselves, in hero-worship, which led man through the stormy ages of old on to the lighter and brighter time, when we see afar the promised time when great ideas shall rule instead of great men, and heroism yield to sincere, unselfish ministry. Great was the final lesson of FriarBacon'shead—'Time will be.'
The failure of the great Southern Confederacy to secure recognition in Europe will doubtless provoke sad strains from the bards of that unfortunate 'empire.' Nor less to be pitied are those who have put their trust in contracts and become the 'victims of misplaced confidence.' The following brace of parodies sets forth the sorrows of either side with touching pathos.
He journeyed all creation through,A peddler's wagon, trotting in;A haggard man, of sallow hue,Upon his nose the goggles blue,And in his cart a model U-niversal nigger-cotton-gin-niversal nigger-cotton-gin.His seedy garb was sad to view—Hard seemed the strait he'd gotten in;He plainly couldn't boast asou,And meanly fared on water-gru-el, or had swallowed whole a U-niversal nigger-cotton gin-niversal nigger-cotton-gin.To all he met—Turk, Christian, Jew—He meekly said, 'I'm not in tin;In fact I'm in a serious stew,And therefore offer unto you,At half its worth, my model U-niversal nigger-cotton-gin-niversal nigger-cotton-gin.'As sure as four is two and two,It rules the world we're plotting in;It made and ruined Yankee Doo-dle, stuck to him like Cooper's glue,And so to you would stick this U-niversal nigger-cotton-gin-niversal nigger-cotton-gin.'Now Johnny Bull the peddler knew,And thus replied with not a grin:'Hi loves your 'gin' like London brew-ed ale, but loathes the hinstitu-tion vitch propels your model U-niversal nigger-cotton-gin-niversal nigger-cotton-gin.'Hi knows such coves as you a few,And, zur, just now, hi'm not in tin;Hi tells you vot, great Yankee Doo-dle might hincline to put me throughHif hi should buy your model U-niversal nigger-cotton-gin-niversal nigger-cotton-gin.'Then spake smooth MonsieurParlez-vous,Whose gilded throne was got in sin,—(As was he too, if tales are true):'I does not vant your modal U-'(He sounds a V for W)'niversal nigger-cotton-gin-niversal nigger-cotton-gin.A negar in de fence I view—Your grand machine he's rotting in;I smells him now, he stinketh!w-h-e-w—Give me a good tobacco chew,And you may keeps your modal U-niversal nigger-cotton-gin-niversal nigger-cotton-gin.'The peddler then sloped quickly toThe land he was begotten in;With woeful visage, feelings blue,He sadly questioned what to do,When none would buy his model U-niversal nigger-cotton-gin-niversal nigger-cotton-gin.From out his pocket then he drewA rag thatbloodwas clotting in;It had a field of heavenly blue,Was flecked with stars—the very fewThat glimmered on his model U-niversal nigger-cotton-gin-niversal nigger-cotton-gin.He gazed long on its tarnished hue,And mourned the fix he'd gotten in;Then filled his eyes with contrite dew,As in its folds his nose he blew,And thus addressed his model U-niversal nigger-cotton-gin-niversal nigger-cotton-gin.'Thou crownless king, thy days are few;The world thou art forgotten in;Ere thou dost die, thy life review,Repent thy crimes, thy wrongs undo,Give freedom to the dusky crewWhose blood now stains the model U-niversal nigger-cotton-gin-niversal nigger-cotton-gin!'
Needy axe-grinder! whither are you going?Sad is your visage, sadder far your raiment,Rimless your hat, your coat has got a hole in't,So have your trowsers!Seedy axe-grinder! little know the great ones,Who buy fat jobs, and steal the public lucre,What times befall the poverty-stricken devilsWho grind their axes!Tell me, axe-grinder, how you came so seedy?Did some great man ungratefully entreat you?Was itFernando, first king of our Gotham,Or the Collector?Or did some evilWeedset you to burningThe Cataline, and pocket all the plunder;Or did the patriotBenengulf your littleAll in a lottery?Tell me, axe-grinder! 'tell me how you cum so:''Drops of compassion tremble on my eyelids,Ready to fall the moment you have told yourPitiful story.'
Story! God bless you! mine is sad to tell, sir;The gratitude of great men drove me downward,Reduced me to these shoddy coat and trowsersSo sad and seedy!Listen! while I disclose the secrets of theMansion which standeth on Broadway, where strangersAre taken in and done for at two dollarsAnd a half per diem.There congregate LordThurlow,AlexanderThe Wonder of the World, and they who pull theWool o'er the eyelids of the veteran Com-Missary-general.And there, while they within did manufactureThe ways and means to 'work' this foul rebellion,I kept the door without, and turned the grindstoneWhich ground their axes.And daily to their private closet came oneCalledOrsamus, of fame in all the churches,Whose savory name smells sweetly to all loversOf public plunder.'Twas queer the ex-(tra) congress man resortedThere; strange they were to all invisible whenHisoily visage, like a magic lantern,Lit the apartment.It were a Matter-son or father might takeA note of; so I questioned of the key-hole,And, lo! they would bestow warm raiment on ourSuffering soldiers.I deemed the subject worthy of attention,The more so as a very fat commissionWould be gained by it, so as almoner ITendered my service.I looked for thanks; when, lo! they gave me none, sir,But, calling eavesdroppers ungodly sinners,Applied their patent-leathers to my tenderUnmentionables.
They served you right; take wholesome warning by it,Leave state affairs to those who live upon 'em;Should not the ox that treadeth in the corn-cribEat of the hoe-cakes?How noble such care for our shivering heroes!Who would not gladly perish for his countryWhen, for his sake, her great men stoop so low asThe shoddy business!
The Germans have a fineSpinn-lied, or song of spinning; so, too, have the jolly Flemish dames. And a poetical correspondent of ours seems determined that few and far between as the old-fashioned spinners are in this country, the race shall not entirely disappear without taking a song with them, and a quaint, pleasant lesson. Dear reader, to theContinental'sway of thinking, there is something very winning in the thoughtof that 'great holiday,' when, free from all task, we shall play merrily evermore 'out-of-doors,' in eternal light, over infinite realms of beauty.
Dearest mother, let me go;I am tired of this spinning, yet the whizzing wheel goes round,Till my brain is dull and dizzy with its ceaseless, humming sound.I can hear a little blue-bird, chirping sweetly in yon tree;And he would not stay there, mother, if he were not calling me.Oh! in pity, let me go:I have spun the flaxen thread, until my aching fingers drop;And my weary feet will falter, though the whizzing wheel should stop.I can see the sunny meadow where the gayest flowers grow;And I long to weave a garland;—dearest mother, let me go.Nay, be patient, eager child;Summer smiles beyond the door-way, but stern poverty is here;We must give her faithful service, if her frown we would not fear.Spin on cheerly, little daughter, till your needful task is done,Then go forth with bird and blossom, at the setting of the sun.Waitthou, also, troubled soul;Thou may'st look beyond the river, where the white-robed angels stand;Hear the faint, celestial music, wafted from the summer land;But thou cans't not leave thy labor;—when thy thread is duly spun,Thou shalt flee on flashing pinions, at the setting of the sun.
The times have been hard, reader, our friend, yet all merriment has not entirely died out, and there is still the sweet voice of music to be heard in the land. In New York, Boston, Philadelphia, and many minor cities, the BenedictineUllmannhath been ubiquitously about, operating most vigorously, while the philosophic and courteousGoschehath not been far distant. And they heraldedHinkley, andBorchard, andKellogg, and all the other sweet swans of song; they drew after them the gems of the opera; there was selling ofLibretti, (and in Boston, 'los-an-gers'); there was the donning of scarlet and blue striped cloaks, gaycoiffuresand butterflying fans; there was flirting, and fun, and gentle gayety in the New York Academy, and with the Boston Academies it was not otherwise, only that among the latter the Saxon predominateth, and the dark-eyed, music-loving children of Israel, who so abound in most opera audiences, are very rare.
What we intended to do, O reader, was to give the biography ofBenedict Ullmann. Lo! here it cometh:—