“All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy.
“Toys have a kindly mission, and I may be good for nothing else; but I would have rather been a coffee-pot than a china shepherdess.”
The gaiety disconcerted him, and he seemed to try to be silent, or to reply in the same tone, but he could not help returning to the subject. “Then you find no charm in the refinements to which you have been brought up?”
“Only too much,” said Meta.
He was silent, and fearing to have added to his fine-lady impression, she resumed. “I mean that I never could dislike anything, and kindness gives these things a soul; but, of course, I should be better satisfied, if I lived harder, and had work to do.”
“Meta!” he exclaimed, “you tempt me very much! Would you?—No, it is too unreasonable. Would you share—share the work that I have undertaken?”
He turned aside and leaned against a tree, as if not daring to watch the effect of the agitated words that had broken from him. She had little imagined whither his last sayings had been tending, and stood still, breathless with the surprise.
“Forgive me,” he said hastily. “It was very wrong. I never meant to have vexed you by the betrayal of my vain affection.”
He seemed to be going, and this roused her. “Stay, Norman,” exclaimed she. “Why should it vex me? I should like it very much indeed.”
He faced suddenly towards her—“Meta, Meta! is it possible? Do you know what you are saying?”
“I think I do.”
“You must understand me,” said Norman, striving to speak calmly. “You have been—words will not express what you have been to me for years past, but I thought you too far beyond my hopes. I knew I ought to be removed from you—I believed that those who are debarred from earthly happiness are marked for especial tasks. I never intended you to know what actuated me, and now the work is undertaken, and—and I cannot turn back,” he added quickly, as if fearing himself.
“No indeed,” was her steady reply.
“Then I may believe it!” cried Norman. “You do—you will—you deliberately choose to share it with me?”
“I will try not to be a weight on you,” answered the young girl, with a sweet mixture of resolution and humility. “It would be the greatest possible privilege. I really do not think I am a fine lady ingrain, and you will teach me not to be too unworthy.”
“I? Oh, Meta, you know not what I am! Yet with you, with you to inspire, to strengthen, to cheer—Meta, Meta, life is so much changed before me, that I cannot understand it yet—after the long dreary hopelessness—”
“I can’t think why—” Meta had half said, when feminine dignity checked the words, consciousness and confusion suddenly assailed her, dyed her cheeks crimson, and stifled her voice.
It was the same with Norman, and bashfulness making a sudden prey of both—on they went under its dominion, in a condition partaking equally of discomfort and felicity; dreading the sound of their own voices, afraid of each other’s faces, feeling they were treating each other very strangely and ungratefully, yet without an idea what to say next, or the power of speaking first; and therefore pacing onwards, looking gravely straight along the path, as if to prevent the rabbits and foxgloves from guessing that anything had been passing between them.
Dr. May had made his call at Drydale, and was driving up a rough lane, between furzy banks, leading to Cocksmoor, when he was aware of a tall gentleman on one side of the road and a little lady on the other, with the whole space of the cart-track between them, advancing soberly towards him.
“Hallo! Why, Meta! Norman! what brings you here? Where are you going?”
Norman perceived that he had turned to the left instead of to the right, and was covered with shame.
“That is all your wits are good for. It is well I met you, or you would have led poor Meta a pretty dance! You will know better than to trust yourself to the mercies of a scholar another time. Let me give you a lift.”
The courteous doctor sprang out to hand Meta in, but something made him suddenly desire Adams to drive on, and then turning round to the two young people, he said, “Oh!”
“Yes,” said Norman, taking her hand, and drawing her towards him.
“What, Meta, my pretty one, is it really so? Is he to be happy after all? Are you to be a Daisy of my own?”
“If you will let me,” murmured Meta, clinging to her kind old friend.
“No flower on earth could come so naturally to us,” said Dr. May. “And, dear child, at last I may venture to tell you that you have a sanction that you will value more than mine. Yes, my dear, on the last day of your dear father’s life, when some foreboding hung upon him, he spoke to me of your prospects, and singled out this very Norman as such as he would prefer.”
Meta’s tears prevented all, save the two little words, “thank you;” but she put out her hand to Norman, as she still rested on the doctor’s arm, more as if he had been her mother than Norman’s father.
“Did he?” from Norman, was equally inexpressive of the almost incredulous gratitude and tenderness of his feeling.
It would not bear talking over at that moment, and Dr. May presently broke the silence in a playful tone. “So, Meta, good men don’t like heiresses?”
“Quite true,” said Meta, “it was very much against me.”
“Or it may be the other way,” said Norman.
“Eh? Good men don’t like heiresses—here’s a man who likes an heiress—therefore here’s a man that is not good? Ah, ha! Meta, you can see that is false logic, though I’ve forgotten mine. And pray, miss, what are we to say to your uncle?”
“He cannot help it,” said Meta quickly.
“Ha!” said the doctor, laughing, “we remember our twenty-one years, do we?”
“I did not mean—I hope I said nothing wrong,” said Meta, in blushing distress. “Only after what you said, I can care for nothing else.”
“If I could only thank him,” said Norman fervently.
“I believe you know how to do that, my boy,” said Dr. May, looking tenderly at the fairy figure between them, and ending with a sigh, remembering, perhaps, the sense of protection with which he had felt another Margaret lean on his arm.
The clatter of horses’ hoofs caused Meta to withdraw her hand, and Norman to retreat to his own side of the lane, as Sir Henry Walkinghame and his servant overtook them.
“We will be in good time for the proceedings,” called out the doctor. “Tell them we are coming.”
“I did not know you were walking,” said Sir Henry to Meta.
“It is pleasant in the plantations,” Dr. May answered for her; “but I am afraid we are late, and our punctual friends will be in despair. Will you kindly say we are at hand?”
Sir Henry rode on, finding that he was not to be allowed to walk his horse with them, and that Miss Rivers had never looked up.
“Poor Sir Henry!” said Dr. May.
“He has no right to be surprised,” said Meta, very low.
“And so you were marching right upon Drydale!” continued Dr. May, not able to help laughing. “It was a happy dispensation that I met you.”
“Oh, I am so glad of it!” said Meta.
“Though to be sure you were disarming suspicion by so cautiously keeping the road between you. I should never have guessed what you had been at.”
There was a little pause, then Meta said, rather tremulously, “Please—I think it should be known at once.”
“Our idle deeds confessed without loss of time, miss?”
Norman came across the path, saying, “Meta is right—it should be known.”
“I don’t think Uncle Cosham would object, especially hearing it while he is here,” said Meta—“and if he knew what you told us.”
“He goes to-morrow, does he not?” said Dr. May.
A silence of perplexity ensued. Meta, brave as she was, hardly knew her uncle enough to volunteer, and Norman was privately devising a beginning by the way of George, when Dr. May said, “Well, since it is not a case for putting Ethel in the forefront, I must e’en get it over for you, I suppose.”
“Oh, thank you,” they cried both at once, feeling that he was the proper person in every way, and Norman added, “The sooner the better, if Meta—”
“Oh, yes, yes, the sooner the better,” exclaimed Meta. “And let me tell Flora—poor dear Flora—she is always so kind.”
A testimony that was welcome to Dr. May, who had once, at least, been under the impression that Flora courted Sir Henry’s attentions to her sister-in-law.
Further consultation was hindered by Tom and Blanche bursting upon them from the common, both echoing Norman’s former reproach of “A pretty guide!” and while Blanche explained the sufferings of all the assembly at their tardiness, Tom, without knowing it, elucidated what had been a mystery to the doctor, namely, how they ever met, by his indignation at Norman’s having assumed the guidance for which he was so unfit.
“A shocking leader; Meta will never trust him again,” said Dr. May.
Still Blanche thought them not nearly sufficiently sensible of their enormities, and preached eagerly about their danger of losing standing-room, when they emerged on the moor, and beheld a crowd, above whose heads rose the apex of a triangle, formed by three poles, sustaining a rope and huge stone.
“Here comes Dr. Spencer,” she said. “I hope he will scold you.”
Whatever Dr. Spencer might have suffered, he was far too polite to scold, and a glance between the two physicians ended in a merry twinkle of his bright eyes.
“This way,” he said; “we are all ready.”
“But where’s my little Daisy?” said Dr. May.
“You’ll see her in a minute. She is as good as gold.”
He drew them on up the bank—people making way for them—till he had stationed them among the others of their own party, beside the deep trench that traced the foundation, around a space that seemed far too small.
Nearly at the same moment began the soft clear sound of chanting wafted upon the wind, then dying away—carried off by some eddying breeze, then clear, and coming nearer and nearer.
I will not suffer mine eyes to sleep,Nor mine eye-lids to slumber:Neither the temples of my head to take any rest;Until I find out a place for the temple of the Lord:An habitation for the mighty God of Jacob.
Few, who knew the history of Cocksmoor, could help glancing towards the slight girl, who stood, with bent head, her hand clasped over little Aubrey’s; while, all that was not prayer and thanksgiving in her mind, was applying the words to him, whose head rested in the Pacific isle, while, in the place which he had chosen, was laid the foundation of the temple that he had given unto the Lord.
There came forth the procession: the minster choristers, Dr. Spencer as architect, and, in her white dress, little Gertrude, led between Harry and Hector, Margaret’s special choice for the occasion, and followed by the Stoneborough clergy.
Let thy priests be clothed with righteousness.
It came in well with the gentle, meek, steadfast face of the young curate of Cocksmoor, as he moved on in his white robe, and the sunlight shone upon his fair hair, and calm brow, thankful for the past, and hoping, more than fearing, for the future.
The prayers were said, and there was a pause, while Dr. Spencer and the foreman advanced to the machine and adjusted it. The two youths then led forward the little girl, her innocent face and large blue eyes wearing a look of childish obedient solemnity, only half understanding what she did, yet knowing it was something great.
It was very pretty to see her in the midst of the little gathering round the foundation, the sturdy workman smiling over his hod of mortar, Dr. Spencer’s silver locks touching her flaxen curls as he held the shining trowel to her, and Harry’s bright head and hardy face, as he knelt on one knee to guide the little soft hand, while Hector stood by, still and upright, his eyes fixed far away, as if his thoughts were roaming to the real founder.
The Victoria coins were placed—Gertrude scooped up the mass of mortar, and spread it about with increasing satisfaction, as it went so smoothly and easily, prolonging the operation, till Harry drew her back, while, slowly down creaked the ponderous corner-stone into the bed that she had prepared for it, and, with a good will, she gave three taps on it with her trowel.
Harry had taken her hand, when, at the sight of Dr. May, she broke from him, and, as if taking sudden fright at her own unwonted part, ran, at full speed, straight up to her father, and clung to him, hiding her face as he raised her in his arms and kissed her.
Meanwhile the strain arose:
Thou heavenly, new Jerusalem,Vision of peace, in Prophet’s dream;With living stones, built up on high,And rising to the starry sky—
The blessing of peace seemed to linger softly and gently in the fragrant summer breeze, and there was a pause ere the sounds of voices awoke again.
“Etheldred—” Mr. Wilmot stood beside her, ere going to unrobe in the school—“Etheldred, you must once let me say, God bless you for this.”
As she knelt beside her sister’s sofa, on her return home, Margaret pressed something into her hand. “If you please, dearest, give this to Dr. Spencer, and ask him to let it be set round the stem of the chalice,” she whispered.
Ethel recognised Alan Ernescliffe’s pearl hoop, the betrothal ring, and looked at her sister without a word.
“I wish it,” said Margaret gently. “I shall like best to know it there.”
So Margaret joined in Alan’s offering, and Ethel dared say no more, as she thought how the “relic of a frail love lost” was becoming the “token of endless love begun.” There was more true union in this, than in clinging to the mere tangible emblem—for broken and weak is all affection that is not knit together above in the One Infinite Love.
Of lowly fields you think no scorn,Yet gayest gardens would adorn,And grace wherever set;Home, seated in your lowly bower,Or wedded, a transplanted flower,I bless you, Margaret.—CHARLES LAMB.
George Rivers had an antipathy to ladies’ last words keeping the horses standing, and his wife and sister dutifully seated themselves in the carriage at once, without an attempt to linger.
Four of the young gentlemen were to walk across to Abbotstoke and dine at the Grange; and Tom, who, reasoning from analogy, had sent on his black tie and agate studs, was so dismally disconcerted on finding that Norman treated his own going as a matter of course, that Richard, whose chief use of his right of primogeniture was to set himself aside, discovered that he was wanted at home, and that Tom would be much better at the Grange, offering, at the same time, to send Norman’s dressing things by Dr. Spencer.
“Which,” observed Thomas, “he would never have recollected for himself.”
“Tom would have had to lend him the precious studs.”—“He would not have had them; who would wear imitation?” “I say, Tom, what did you give for them?” “Better ask what the Jew gave for them, that bought them at Windsor Fair; not a bad imitation, either—pity they weren’t Malachite; but, no doubt, the Jew thought green would be personal.” “As if they had any business to talk, who didn’t know a respectable stud when they saw it—Harry, especially, with his hat set on the back of his head, like a sailor on the stage”—(a leap to set it to rights—a skirmish, knocking Tom nearly into the ditch). “Fine experience of the stage—all came from Windsor Fair.” “Ay, Hector might talk, but didn’t he pay a shilling to see the Irish giant. He wouldn’t confess, but it was a famous take in—giant had potatoes in his shoes.” “Not he; he was seven feet ten high.” “Ay, when he stood upon a stool—Hector would swallow anything—even the lady of a million postage stamps had not stuck in his throat—he had made Margaret collect for her.” “And, had not Tom, himself, got a bottle of ointment to get the red out of his hair?”—(great fury). “His hair wasn’t red—didn’t want to change the colour—not half so red as Hector’s own.” “What was it then? lively auburn?” But for fear of Norman’s losing his bearings, Harry would fetch a carrot, to compare. “Better colour than theirs could ever be.” “Then what was the ointment for? to produce whiskers? that was the reason Tom oiled himself like a Loyalty islander—his hair was so shiny, that Harry recommended a top-knot, like theirs, etc.”
Norman was, like the others, in such towering glee, and took so full a share of the witticisms, that were the more noisily applauded, the worse they were, that Harry suggested that “old June had lost his way, and found his spirits in Drydale—he must have met with a private grog-shop in the plantations—would not Tom confess”—“not he; it was all in private. He thought it was laughing-gas, or the reaction of being fried all the morning, holding forth in that Town Hall. He had longed to make a speech himself—no end of the good it would have done the old stagers to come out with something to the purpose. What would old Hoxton have thought of it?
“They shall dive for alligators, catch the wild goats by the beard;Whistle to the cockatoos, and mock the hairy-faced baboon;Worship mighty Mumbo Jumbo in the mountains of the moon.I myself, in far Timbuctoo, leopard’s blood shall daily quaff;Ride a tiger hunting, mounted on a thoroughbred giraffe.”
“Not you, Tom!” cried Hector.
“You, the swell, the Eton fellow! You, to seek such horrid places.You to haunt with squalid negroes, blubber lips, and monkey faces.Fool, again the dream, the fancy; don’t I know the words are mad,For you count the gray barbarian lower than the Brocas cad!”
“Nay, it is the consequence of misanthropy at the detection of the frauds of unsophisticated society,” said Norman.
The edge of life is rusted;The agate studs and whisker ointment left him very much disgusted.
“Perhaps it was Miss Rivers forsaking him. Was not that rather spider-hearted, Tom?”
“Come, Harry, it is time to have done. We are getting into civilised society—here’s Abbotstoke.”
“Poor Norman, he is very far gone! He takes that scarecrow for civilised society!”
“Much better clothed than the society you have been accustomed to, July.” “What a prize his wardrobe would be to the Black Prince!” “Don’t insult your betters!” “Which? The scarecrow, or the Black Prince?”
Norman tried to call his companions to order, for they were close upon the village, and he began to tax himself with unbecoming levity; the effect of spirits pitched rather low, which did not easily find their balance, under unwonted exhilaration, but Harry’s antics were less easily repressed than excited, and if Tom had not heard the Grange clock strike half-past six, and had not been afraid of not having time to array himself, and watch over Harry’s neckcloth, they would hardly have arrived in reasonable time. Dr. May had gone home, and there was no one in the drawing-room; but, as Norman was following the boys upstairs, Flora opened her sitting-room door, and attracted his attention by silently putting her cold fingers into his hand, and drawing him into the room.
“Dear Norman, this is pleasant,” she said affectionately; but in a voice so sunken, that all gladness seemed to be dead within, and the effect was far more mournful than if she had not attempted to smile congratulation.
“I will give you till Dr. Spencer comes,” she said. “Then Norman can dress, and you must be a good child, and come down to me.”
The playfulness ill suited the wan, worn face that seemed to have caught a gray tint from her rich poplin, her full toilet making the contrast almost more painful; and, as she closed the door, her brother could only exclaim, “Poor Flora!”
“She is so kind,” said the voice of the white figure that moved towards him. “Oh, if we could comfort her!”
“I trust to her own kindness working comfort to her, at last,” said Norman. “But is she often thus?”
“Whenever she is not bearing up for George’s sake,” said Meta. “She never says anything when she is alone with me, only she does not struggle with her looks.”
“It must be very trying for you.”
“Nay, I feel grateful to her for even so far relaxing the restraint. If I could but do her any good.”
“You cannot help doing her good,” said Norman.
Meta sighed, and shook her head slightly, as she said, “She is so gentle and considerate. I think this has been no fresh pain to her to-day, but I cannot tell. The whole day has been a strange intermixture.”
“The two strands of joy and grief have been very closely twisted,” said Norman. “That rose is shedding its fragrant leaves in its glory, and there is much that should have chastened the overflowing gladness of to-day.”
“As I was thinking,” whispered Meta, venturing nearer to him, and looking into his face with the sweet reliance of union in thought. She meant him to proceed, but he paused, saying, “You were thinking-”
“I had rather hear it from you.”
“Was it not that we were taught to-day what is enduring, and gives true permanence and blessedness to such—to what there was between Ernescliffe and Margaret?”
Her dewy eyes, and face of deep emotion, owned that he had interpreted her thought.
“Theirs would, indeed, be a disheartening example,” he said, “if it did not show the strength and peace that distance, sickness, death, cannot destroy.”
“Yes. To see that church making Margaret happy as she lies smiling on her couch, is a lesson of lessons.”
“That what is hallowed must be blest,” said Norman; “whatever the sundry and manifold changes.”
Each was far too humble to deny aloud any inequality with the goodness of Alan and Margaret, knowing that it would be at once disputed, trusting to time to prevent the over-estimate, and each believing the other was the one to bring the blessing.
“But, Meta,” said Norman, “have you heard nothing of—of the elders?”
“Oh, yes,” said Meta, smiling, “have not you?”
“I have seen no one.”
“I have!” said Meta merrily. “Uncle Cosham is delighted. That speech of yours has captivated him. He calls me a wise little woman to have found out your first-rate abilities. There’s for you, sir.”
“I don’t understand it! Surely he must be aware of my intentions?”
“He said nothing about them; but, of course, Dr. May must have mentioned them.”
“I should have thought so, but I cannot suppose—”
“That he would be willing to let me go,” said Meta. “But then you know he cannot help it,” added she, with a roguish look, at finding herself making one of her saucy independent speeches.
“I believe you are taking a would-be missionary instead of Norman May!” he answered, with a sort of teasing sweetness.
“All would-be missionaries did not make dear papa so fond of them,” said Meta, very low; “and you would not be Norman May without such purposes.”
“The purpose was not inspired at first by the highest motive,” said Norman; “but it brought me peace, and, after the kind of dedication that I inwardly made of myself in my time of trouble, it would take some weighty reason, amounting to a clear duty, or physical impossibility, to make me think I ought to turn back. I believe”—the tears rose to his eyes, and he brought out the words with difficulty—“that, if this greatest of all joys were likely to hinder me from my calling, I ought to seek strength to regard it as a temptation, and to forgo it.”
“You ought, if it were so,” said Meta, nevertheless holding him tighter. “I could not bear to keep back a soldier. If this were last year, and I had any tie or duty here, it would be very hard. But no one needs me, and if the health I have always had be continued to me, I don’t think I shall be much in the way. There,”—drawing back a little, and trying to laugh off her feeling—“only tell me at once if you think me still too much of a fine lady.”
“I—you—a fine lady! Did anything ever give you the impression that I did?”
“I shall not get poor Harry into a scrape, shall I? He told me that you said so, last spring, and I feared you judged me too truly.”
After a few exclamations of utter surprise, it flashed on Norman. “I know, I know—Harry interpreted my words in his own blunt fashion!”
“Then you did say something like it?”
“No, but—but—In short, Meta, these sailors’ imaginations go to great lengths. Harry had guessed more than I knew myself, before he had sailed, and taxed me with it. It was a subject I could not bear then, and I answered that you were too far beyond my hopes.”
“Six years ago!” said Meta slowly, blushing deeper and deeper. “Some eyes saw it all that time, and you—and,” she added, laughing, though rather tearfully, “I should never have known it, if Tom had not taken me through the plantations!”
“Not if I had not discovered that your preferences did not lie—”
“Among boudoirs and balls?” said Meta. “Harry was right. You thought me a fine lady after all.”
The gay taunt was cut short by a tap at the door, and Flora looked in.
“Dr. Spencer has brought your things, Norman. I am sorry to disturb you—but come down, Meta—I ran away very uncivilly to fetch you. I hope it is not too cruel,” as she drew Meta’s arm into her own, and added, “I have not been able speak to George.”
Meta suspected that, in the wish to spare her, Flora had abstained from seeking him.
The evening went off like any other evening—people ate and talked, thought Mrs. Rivers looking very ill, and Miss Rivers very pretty—Flora forced herself into being very friendly to Sir Henry, commiserating the disappointment to which she had led him; and she hoped that he suspected the state of affairs, though Tom, no longer supplanted by his elder brother, pursued Meta into the sheltered nook, where Flora had favoured her seclusion, to apologise for having left her to the guidance of poor Norman, whose head was with the blackamoors. It was all Harry’s fault.
“Nonsense, Tom,” said Harry; “don’t you think Norman is better company than you any day?”
“Then why did you not walk him off instead of me?” said Tom, turning round sharply.
“Out of consideration for Meta. She will tell you that she was very much obliged to me—”
Harry checked himself, for Meta was colouring so painfully that his own sunburned face caught the glow. He pushed Tom’s slight figure aside with a commanding move of his broad hand, and said, “I beg your pardon, upon my word, though I don’t know what for.”
“Nor I,” said Meta, rallying herself, and smiling. “You have no pardon to beg. You will know it all to-morrow.”
“Then I know it now,” said Harry, sheltering his face by leaning over the back of a chair, and taming the hearty gaiety of his voice. “Well done, Meta; there’s nothing like old June in all the world! You may take my word for it, and I knew you would have the sense to find it out.”
They were well out of sight, and Meta only answered by a good tight squeeze of his kind hand between both her own. Tom, suddenly recovering from his displeasure at being thrust aside, whisked round, dropped on a footstool before Meta, looked up in her face, and said, “Hallo!” in such utter amazement that there was nothing for it but to laugh more uncontrollably than was convenient. “Come along, Tom,” said Harry, pulling him up by force, “she does not want any of your nonsense. We will not plague her now.”
“Thank you, Harry,” said Meta. “I cannot talk rationally just yet. Don’t think me unkind, Tom.”
Tom sat in a sort of trance all the rest of the evening.
Lord Cosham talked to Norman, who felt as if he were being patronised on false pretences, drew into his shell, and displayed none of his “first-rate abilities.”
Dr. Spencer discussed his architecture with the archdeacon; but his black eyes roamed heedfully after the young gentleman and lady, in the opposite corners of the room; and, as he drove home afterwards with the youths, he hummed scraps of Scottish songs, and indulged in silent smiles.
Those at home had been far more demonstrative. Dr. May had arrived, declaring himself the proudest doctor in her Majesty’s dominions, and Ethel needed nothing but his face to explain why, and tell her that dear old June’s troubles were over, and their pretty little Meta was their own—a joy little looked for to attend their foundation-stone.
The dreaded conference with Lord Cosham had proved highly gratifying. There might be something in the fact that he could not help it, which assisted in his ready acquiescence, but he was also a sensible right-minded man, who thought that the largeness of Meta’s fortune was no reason that it should be doubled; considered that, in the matter of connection, the May family had the advantage, and saw in Norman; a young man whom any one might have pleasure in bringing forward. Oxford had established confidence both in his character and talents, and his speech had been such as to impress an experienced man, like Lord Cosham, with an opinion of his powers, that prepared a welcome for him, such as no one could have dared to expect. His lordship thought his niece not only likely to be happier, but to occupy a more distinguished position with such a man as Norman May, than with most persons of ready-made rank and fortune.
The blushing and delighted Dr. May had thought himself bound to speak of his son’s designs, but he allowed that the project had been formed under great distress of mind, and when he saw it treated by so good a man, as a mere form of disappointed love, he felt himself reprieved from the hardest sacrifice that he had ever been called on to make, loved little Meta the better for restoring his son, and once more gave a free course to the aspirations that Norman’s brilliant boyhood had inspired. Richard took the same view, and the evening passed away in an argument—as if any one had been disputing with them—the father reasoning loud, the son enforcing it low, that it had become Norman’s duty to stay at home to take care of Meta, whose father would have been horrified at his taking her to the Antipodes. They saw mighty tasks for her fortune to effect in England, they enhanced each other’s anticipations of Norman’s career, overthrew abuses before him, heaped distinctions upon him, and had made him Prime Minister and settled his policy, before ten o’clock brought their schemes to a close.
Mary gazed and believed; Margaret lay still and gently assented; Ethel was silent at first, and only when the fabric became extremely airy and magnificent, put in her word with a vehement dash at the present abuses, which grieved her spirit above all, and, whether vulnerable or not, Norman was to dispose of, like so many giants before Mr. Great-heart.
She went upstairs, unable to analyse her sentiments. To be spared the separation would be infinite relief—all this prosperity made her exult—the fair girl at the Grange was the delight of her heart, and yet there was a sense of falling off; she disliked herself for being either glad or sorry, and could have quarrelled with the lovers for perplexing her feelings so uncomfortably.
Though she sat up till the party returned, she was inclined to be supposed in bed, so as to put off the moment of meeting; but Margaret, who she hoped was asleep, said from her pillow, “Ask dear Norman to let me give him one kiss.”
She ran down headlong, clutched Norman as he was taking off his greatcoat, told him that Margaret wanted him, and dragged him up without letting him go, till she reached the first landing, where she stood still, saying breathlessly, “New Zealand.”
“If I wished to fail, she would keep me to it.”
“I beg your pardon,” said Ethel, claiming heartily his caress. “I was wrong to doubt either of you. Now, I know how to feel! But Margaret must not wait.”
The happy youth, in the flush of love and joy, bent gently, almost tearfully, down in silence to the white form, half seen in the twilight, whose hopes had fleeted away from earth, and who was calmly, softly gliding after them. Hardly a word was uttered, but of all the many heartfelt thoughts that had passed while the face was pressed into Margaret’s pillow, and her sympathising arms round the neck, surely none was ever deeper, than was his prayer and vow that his affection should be like hers, unearthly, and therefore enduring.
The embrace was all; Margaret must not be agitated, and, indeed, the events of the day had been too much for her, and the ensuing morning brought the fluttering of heart and prostration of strength, no longer a novelty and occasion of immediate terror, but the token of the waning power of life.
Till she was better, her father had no thoughts for aught else, but, as with many another invalid, the relief from present distress was as cheering as if it had been recovery, and ere night, her placid look of repose had returned, and she was devising pretty greetings for her newest Daisy.
Perhaps the sobering effect of these hours of anxiety was in Norman’s favour, on entering into conversation with his father. Those visions, which had had their swing the night before, belonged to the earlier, more untamed period of Dr. May’s life, and had melted away in the dim room, made sacred by lingering mementos of his wife, and in the sound of that panting breath and throbbing heart. His vehemence had been, after all, chiefly against his own misgivings, and when he heard of his son’s resolution, and Meta’s more than acquiescence, he was greatly touched, and recurred to his kind, sorrowful promise, that he would never be a stumbling-block in the path of his children. Still he owned himself greatly allured by the career proposed by Lord Cosham, and thought Norman should consider the opportunities of doing good in, perhaps, a still more important and extensive field than that which he had chosen.
“Time was that I should have grasped at such a prospect,” said Norman; “but I am not the man for it. I have too much ambition, and too little humility. You know, father, how often you have had to come to my rescue, when I was running after success as my prime object.”
“Vanity fair is a dangerous place, but you who have sound principles and pure motives—”
“How long would my motives be pure?” said Norman. “Rivalry and party-spirit make me distrust my motives, and then my principles feel the shock. Other men are marked by station for such trials, and may be carried through them, but I am not.”
“Yet some of these men are far from your equals.”
“Not perhaps in speechifying,” said Norman, smiling; “but in steadiness of aim, in patience, in callousness, in seeing one side of the question at once.”
“You judge rightly for your own peace; you will be the happier; I always doubted whether you had nerve to make your wits available.”
“It may be cowardice,” said Norman, “but I think not. I could burn for the combat; and if I had no scruples, I could enjoy bearing down such as—”
Of course Dr. May burst in with a political name, and—“I wish you were at him!”
“Whether I could is another matter,” said Norman, laughing; “but the fact is, that I stand pledged; and if I embraced what to me would be a worldly career, I should be running into temptation, and could not expect to be shielded from it.”
“Your old rule,” said Dr. May. “Seek to be less rather than more. But there is another choice. Why not a parsonage at home?”
“Pleasant parishes are not in the same need,” said Norman.
“I wonder what poor old Rivers would say to you, if he knew what you want to do with his daughter! Brought up as she has been—to expose her to the roughness of a colonial life, such as I should hesitate about for your sisters.”
“It is her own ardent desire.”
“True, but are girlish enthusiasms to be trusted? Take care, Norman, take care of her—she is a bit of the choicest porcelain of human kind, and not to be rudely dealt with.”
“No, indeed, but she has the brave enterprising temper, to which I fully believe that actual work, in a good cause, is far preferable to what she calls idleness. I do not believe that we are likely to meet with more hardship than she would gladly encounter, and would almost—nay, quite enjoy.”
“You do not know what your aunt has had to go through.”
“A few years make a great difference in a colony. Still, it may be right for me to go out alone and judge for her; but we shall know more if my aunt comes home.”
“Yes, I could trust a good deal to her. She has much of your mother’s sense. Well, you must settle it as you can with Meta’s people! I do not think they love the pretty creature better than I have done from the first minute we saw her—don’t you remember it, Norman?”
“Remember it? Do I not? From the frosted cedar downwards! It was the first gem of spring in that dreary winter. What a Fairyland the Grange was to me!”
“You may nearly say the same of me,” confessed Dr. May, smiling; “the sight of that happy little sunny spirit, full of sympathy and sweetness, always sent me brighter on my way. Wherever you may be, Norman, I am glad you have her, being one apt to need a pocket sunbeam.”
“I hope my tendencies are in no danger of depressing her!” said Norman, startled. “If so—”
“No such thing—she will make a different man of you. You have been depressed by—that early shock, and the gap at our own fireside—all that we have shared together, Norman. To see you begin on a new score, with a bright home of your own, is the best in this world that I could wish for you, though I shall live over my own twenty-two years in thinking of you, and that sweet little fairy. But now go, Norman—she will be watching for you and news of Margaret. Give her all sorts of love from me.”
Norman fared better with the uncle than he had expected. Lord Cosham, as a philanthropist, could not, with any consistency, set his face against missions, even when the cost came so near home; and he knew that opposition made the like intentions assume a heroic aspect that maintained them in greater force. He therefore went over the subject in a calm dispassionate manner, which exacted full and grateful consideration from the young man.
The final compromise was, that nothing should be settled for a year, during which Norman would complete his course of study, and the matter might be more fully weighed. Mrs. Arnott would probably return, and bring experience and judgment, which would, or ought to, decide the question—though Meta had a secret fear that it might render it more complicated than ever. However, the engagement and the mission views had both been treated so much more favourably than could have been hoped, that they felt themselves bound to be patient and forbearing. As Meta said, “If they showed themselves wilful children, they certainly did not deserve to be trusted anywhere.”
Lord Cosham made his niece listen to a kind exhortation not to press her influence towards a decision that might be repented, when too late to be repaired, without a degrading sense of failure—putting her in mind of the privations that would lose romance by their pettiness, and which money could not remedy; and very sensibly representing that the effect of these on temper and health was to be duly considered as a serious impediment to usefulness.
“It would be worse for him alone,” said Meta.
“That is not certain,” said her uncle. “A broken-down wife is a terrible drag.”
“I know it is so,” said Meta firmly, “but risks must be run, and he is willing to take the chance. I do not think it can be presumption, for, you know, I am strong; and Dr. May would say if he could not warrant me. I fancy household work would be more satisfactory and less tiring than doing a season thoroughly, and I mean to go through a course of Finchley manuals in preparation.”
“I hope you know what you are doing,” sighed her uncle. “You see it all couleur de rose.”
“I think not. It is because it is not couleur de rose that I am so much bent upon it. I have had plenty of that all my life. I expect much that will be very disagreeable and not at all heroic; but if I can only make Norman think it fun, that will be one purpose answered. I do believe he will do his work better for having me, and, at least, I shall pay his passage.”
Her uncle shook his head, but did not try to say any more. George had begun by loud exclamations against the project, in which he was vehemently abetted by Tom, who primed him with all sorts of outrageous abuse of the niggers and cannibals, who would make Norman’s coats out of all shape, and devour little Meta at a mouthful—predictions which Meta accepted most merrily, talking of herself so resignedly, as bound upon a spit, and calling out to be roasted slower and faster, that she safely conducted off their opposition by way of a standing joke. As to Norman’s coats, she threatened to make them herself, and silenced Tom for ever by supposing, in malicious simplicity, that he must be able to teach her the most unexceptional cut.
Flora kept her opinions to herself. Only once, when urged to remonstrate, she said, “I could not—I would not.”
She was gently and touchingly considerate towards the lovers, silently but unobtrusively obviating all that could jar on their feelings, and employing her exquisite tact in the kindest manner.
She released Meta from the expedition to Ryde, silencing scruples on the one hand, by a suggestion of “poor Sir Henry,” and, on the other, by offering to exchange her for Mary. The first proposal made Mary take such a spring in her chair, with eyes so round, and cheeks so red, and such a shriek about Harry and the Bucephalus, that no one could have borne to say one word in opposition, even if it had not been the opinion of the Council that sea air would best repair Mary’s strength.
Ethel had some private fears of a scene, since it was one of Miss Bracy’s idiosyncrasies to be hurt whenever Mary was taken out of her hands; and she went to announce the design, in dread lest this shock should destroy the harmony that had prevailed for many months; nay, she almost believed, since the loss of the Alcestis had been known.
She was agreeably surprised. Miss Bracy thought Mary in need of the change, and discussed both her and Blanche in so pleasant and sensible a manner, that Ethel was quite relieved. She partook in Mary’s anticipations of pleasure, forwarded her preparations, and was delighted with her promise of letters—promises that Mary bestowed so largely, in the fullness of her heart, that there were fears lest her whole time should be spent in writing.
Her soft heart indulged in a shower of tears when she wished them all good-bye; and Ethel and Blanche found the house was very empty without her; but that was only till Meta came in from a walk with Norman, and, under the plea of trying to supply Mary’s place, did the work of five Maries, and a great deal besides.
Nothing could be happier than Meta’s visit, brightening the house so that the Mays thought they had never known half her charms, helping whatever was going on, yet ready to play with Daisy, tell stories to Aubrey, hear Tom’s confidences, talk to Margaret, read with Norman, and teach Richard singing for his school children. The only vexation was, that every one could not always engross her entirely; and Dr. May used to threaten that they should never spare her to that long-legged fellow, Norman.
She had persuaded Bellairs to go and take care of Flora and Mary, instead of the French maid—a plan which greatly satisfied Margaret, who had never liked the looks of Coralie, and which Meta held to be a grand emancipation. She persuaded old nurse to teach her to be useful, and Margaret used to declare that she witnessed scenes as good as a play in her room, where the little dexterous scholar, apparently in jest, but really in sober, earnest, wiled instruction from the old woman; and made her experiments, between smiles and blushes, and merrily glorying in results that promised that she would be a notable housewife. Whether it were novelty or not, she certainly had an aptitude and delight in domestic details, such as Ethel never could attain; and, as Dr. May said, the one performed by a little finger what the other laboured at with a great mind.
In the schoolroom, Meta was as highly appreciated. She found an hour for helping Blanche in her music, and for giving, what was still more useful, an interest and spirit to studies, where, it must be owned, poor good Mary had been a dead weight. She enlivened Miss Bracy so much, and so often contrived a walk or a talk with her, that the saucy Blanche told Hector that she thought Ethel would be quite second-fiddle with Miss Bracy.
No such thing. Miss Bracy’s great delight was in having a listener for her enthusiasm about Miss Ethel. She had been lately having a correspondence with a former school-fellow, who was governess in a family less considerate than the Mays, and who poured out, in her letters, feelings much like those with which Miss Bracy had begun.
Nothing could be more salutary than to find herself repeating all Ethel’s pieces of advice; and, one day, when her friend had been more distressed than usual, she called Ethel herself, to consult on her answer, owning how much she was reminded of herself.
“Indeed,” she added, “I am afraid it would only tease you to hear how much I am indebted to your decision and kindness—”
“Nay,” said Ethel, laughing her awkward laugh. “You have often had to forget my savage ways.”
“Pray don’t say that—”
“I think,” said Ethel, breaking in, “the philosophy is this: I believe that it is a trying life. I know teaching takes a great deal out of one; and loneliness may cause tendencies to dwell on fancied slights in trifles, that might otherwise be hurried over. But I think the thing is, to pass them over, and make a conscience of turning one’s mind to something fresh—”
“As you made me do, when you brought me amusing books, and taught me botany—”
“And, still more, when you took to working for the infant school. Yes, I think the way to be happy and useful is to get up many interests, so as to be fresh and vigorous, and think not at all of personalities. There’s a truism!”
“Very true, though,” said Miss Bracy. “Indeed, all your kindness and consideration would never have done me half the good they have, dear Miss Ethel, if you had not taught me that referring all to one’s own feelings and self is the way to be unhappy.”
“Just so,” said Ethel. “It is the surest way for any one to be miserable.”
“If I could only persuade poor dear Ellen to think that even if a slight were real, it ought to be borne forgivingly, and not brooded over. Ah! you are laughing; perhaps you have said the same about me.”
“You would forgive it now, I think,” said Ethel.
“I never thought I did not forgive. I did not see that brooding over vexations was not pardoning them. I have told her so now; and, oh! if she could but have seen how true sorrows are borne here, she would be cured, like me, of making imaginary ones.”
“None could help being better for living with papa,” said Ethel.
Ethel made Miss Bracy happy by a kiss before she left her. It was a cheering belief that, whatever the future trials of her life might be, the gentle little lady would meet them with a healthier mind, more vigorous in overlooking troubles and without punctilious sensitiveness on the lookout for affronts. “Believing all things, bearing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things,” would be to her the true secret of serenity of spirits.
Ethel might not have been blameless or consistent in her dealings in this difficult intercourse, but her kind heart, upright intention, and force of character, had influence far beyond her own perception. Indeed, she knew not that she had personal influence at all, but went on in her own straightforward humility.