"Oh, well," said Dick, "since you're so very urgent it would be unbecoming to refuse. A story? Well, what? I will tell you about my maternal grandfather.
"My maternal grandfather, then, was once out in Hong Kong, and had saved up a little money. As the climate did not agree with him he thought he would come home; and at length an American ship touched there, on board of which he went, and he saw a man in the galley; so my grandfather stepped up to him and asked him:
"'Are you the mate?'
"'No. I'm the man that boils the _mate_,' said the other, who was also an Irishman.
"So he had to go to the cabin, where he found the Captain and mate writing out clearance papers for the custom-house.
"'Say, captain, will you cross the sea to plow the raging main?' asked my grandfather.
"'Oh, the ship it is ready and the wind is fair to plow the raging main!' said the captain. Of course my grandfather at once paid his fare without asking credit, and the amount was three hundred and twenty-seven dollars thirty-nine cents.
"Well, they set sail, and after going ever so many thousand miles, or hundred--I forget which, but it don't matter--a great storm arose, a typhoon or simoon, perhaps both; and after slowly gathering up its energies for the space of twenty-nine days, seven hours, and twenty-three minutes, without counting the seconds, it burst upon them at exactly forty-two minutes past five, on the sixth day of the week. Need I say that day was Friday? Now my grandfather saw all the time how it was going to end; and while the rest were praying and shrieking he had cut the lashings of the ship's long-boat and stayed there all the time, having put on board the nautical instruments, two or three fish-hooks, a gross of lucifer matches, and a sauce-pan. At last the storm struck the ship, as I have stated, and at the first crack away went the vessel to the bottom, leaving my grandfather floating alone on the surface of the ocean.
"My grandfather navigated the long-boat fifty-two days, three hours, and twenty minutes by the ship's chronometer; caught plenty of fish with his fish-hooks; boiled sea-water in his sauce-pan, and boiled all the salt away, making his fire in the bottom of the boat, which is a very good place, for the fire can't burn through without touching the water, which it can't burn; and finding plenty of fuel in the boat, which he gradually dismantled, taking first the thole-pins, then the seats, then the taffrail, and so on. This sort of thing, though, could not last forever, and at last, just in the nick of time, he came across a dead whale.
"It was floating bottom upward, covered with barnacles of very large size indeed; and where his fins projected there were two little coves, one on each side. Into the one on the lee-side he ran his boat, of which there was nothing left but the stem and stern and two side planks.
"My grandfather looked upon the whale as an island. It was a very nice country to one who had been so long in a boat, though a little monotonous. The first thing that he did was to erect the banner of his country, of which he happened to have a copy on his pocket-handkerchief; which he did by putting it at the end of an oar and sticking it in the ground, or the flesh, whichever you please to call it. He then took an observation, and proceeded to make himself a house, which he did by whittling up the remains of the long-boat, and had enough left to make a table, a chair, and a boot-jack. So here he stayed, quite comfortable, for forty-three days and a half, taking observations all the time with great accuracy; and at the end of that time all his house was gone, for he had to cut it up for fuel to cook his meals, and nothing was left but half of the boot-jack and the oar which served to uphold the banner of his country. At the end of this time a ship came up.
"The men of the ship did not know what on earth to make of this appearance on the water, where the American flag was flying. So they bore straight down toward it.
"'I see a sight across the sea, hi ho cheerly men!' remarked the captain to the mate, in a confidential manner.
"'Methinks it is my own countrie, hi ho cheerly men!' rejoined the other, quietly.
"'It rises grandly o'er the brine, hi ho cheerly men!' said the captain.
"'And bears aloft our own ensign, hi ho cheerly men!' said the mate.
"As the ship came up my grandfather placed both hands to his mouth in the shape of a speaking-trumpet, and cried out: 'Ship ahoy across the wave, with a way-ay-ay-ay-ay! Storm along!'
"To which the captain of the ship responded through his trumpet: 'Tis I, my messmate bold and brave, with a way-ay-ay-ay-ay! Storm along."
"At this my grandfather inquired; 'What vessel are you gliding on? Pray tell to me its name.'
"And the captain replied: 'Our bark it is a whaler bold, and Jones the captain's name.'
"Thereupon the captain came on board the whale, or on shore, whichever you like--I don't know which, nor does it matter--he came, at any rate. My grandfather shook hands with him and asked him to sit down. But the captain declined, saying he preferred standing.
"'Well,' said my grandfather, 'I called on you to see if you would like to buy a whale.'
Buying A Whale.
[Illustration: Buying A Whale.]
"'Wa'al, yes, I don't mind. I'm in that line myself.'
"'What'll you give for it?'
"'What'll you take for it?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
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"'What'll you take?'
"Twenty-five minutes were taken up in the repetition of this question, for neither wished to commit himself.
"'Have you had any offers for it yet?' asked Captain Jones at last.
"'Wa'al, no; can't say that I have.'
"'I'll give as much as any body.'
"'How much?'
"'What'll you take?'
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"Then my grandfather, after a long deliberation, took the captain by the arm and led him all around, showing him the country, as one may say, enlarging upon the fine points, and doing as all good traders are bound to do when they find themselves face to face with a customer.
"To which the end was:
"'Wa'al, what'll you take?'
"'What'll you give?'
"'What'll you take?'
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"'Well,' said my grandfather, 'I don't know as I care about trading after all. I think I'll wait till the whaling fleet comes along. I've been waiting for them for some time, and they ought to be here soon.'
"'You're not in the right track,' said Captain Jones.
"'Yes, I am.'
"'Excuse me.'
"'Ex-cuse _me_,' said my grandfather. 'I took an observation just before you came in sight, and I am in lat. 47° 22' 20", long. 150° 15' 55".'
"Captain Jones's face fell. My grandfather poked him in the ribs and smiled.
"'I'll tell you what I'll do, as I don't care, after all, about waiting here. It's a little damp, and I'm subject to rheumatics. I'll let you have the whole thing if you give me twenty-five per cent. of the oil after it's barreled, barrels and all.'
"The captain thought for a moment.
"'You drive a close bargain.'
"'Of course.'
"'Well, it'll save a voyage, and that's something.'
"'Something! Bless your heart! ain't that every thing?'
"'Well, I'll agree. Come on board, and we'll make out the papers.'
"So my grandfather went on board, and they made out the papers; and the ship hauled up alongside of the whale, and they went to work cutting, and slashing, and hoisting, and burning, and boiling, and at last, after ever so long a time--I don't remember exactly how long--the oil was all secured, and my grandfather, in a few months afterward, when he landed at Nantucket and made inquiries, sold his share of the oil for three thousand nine hundred and fifty-six dollars fifty-six cents, which he at once invested in business in New Bedford, and started off to Pennsylvania to visit his mother. The old lady didn't know him at all, he was so changed by sun, wind, storm, hardship, sickness, fatigue, want, exposure, and other things of that kind. She looked coldly on him.
"'Who are you?'
"'Don't you know?'
"'No.'
"'Think.'
"'_Have you a strawberry on your arm_?'
"'No.'
"'Then--you are--_you are_--YOU ARE--my own--my long--lost son!'
The Long-Lost Son.
[Illustration: The Long-Lost Son.]
"And she caught him in her arms.
"Here endeth the first part of my grandfather's adventures, but he had many more, good and bad; for he was a remarkable man, though I say it; and if any of you ever want to hear more about him, which I doubt, all you've got to do is to say so. But perhaps it's just as well to let the old gentleman drop, for his adventures were rather strange; but the narration of them is not very profitable, not that I go in for the utilitarian theory of conversation; but I think, on the whole, that, in story-telling, fiction should be preferred to dull facts like these, and so the next time I tell a story I will make one up."
The Club had listened to the story with the gravity which should be manifested toward one who is relating family matters. At its close the Senator prepared to speak. He cleared his throat:
"Ahem! Gentlemen of the Club! our adventures, thus far, have not been altogether contemptible. We have a President and a Secretary; ought we not also to have a Recording Secretary--a Historian?"
"Ay!" said all, very earnestly.
"Who, then, shall it be?"
All looked at Dick.
"I see there is but one feeling among us all," said the Senator. "Yes, Richard, you are the man. Your gift of language, your fancy, your modesty, your fluency--But I spare you. From this time forth you know your duty."
Overcome by this honor, Dick was compelled to bow his thanks in silence and hide his blushing face.
"And now," said Mr. Figgs, eagerly, "I want to hear _the Higgins Story_."
The Doctor turned frightfully pale. Dick began to fill his pipe. The Senator looked earnestly out of the window. Buttons looked at the ceiling.
"What's the matter?" said Mr. Figgs.
"What?" asked Buttons.
"The Higgins Story?"
The Doctor started to his feet. His excitement was wonderful. He clenched his fist.
"I'll quit! I'm going back. I'll join you at Rome by another route. I'll--"
"No, you won't!" said Buttons; "for on a journey like this it would be absurd to begin the Higgins Story."
"Pooh!" said Dick, "it would require nineteen days at least to get through the introductory part."
"When, then, can I hear it?" asked Mr. Figgs, in perplexity.
CHAPTER XVII
.
NIGHT ON THE ROAD.--THE CLUB ASLEEP.--THEY ENTER ROME.--THOUGHTS ON APPROACHING AND ENTERING "THE ETERNAL CITY."
To Rome.
[Illustration: To Rome.]
CHAPTER XVIII
.
A LETTER BY DICK, AND CRITICISMS OF HIS FRIENDS.
They took lodgings near the Piazza di Spagna. This is the best part of Rome to live in, which every traveller will acknowledge. Among other advantages, it is perhaps the only clean spot in the Capital of Christendom.
Their lodgings were peculiar. Description is quite unnecessary. They were not discovered without toil, and not secured without warfare. Once in possession they had no reason to complain. True, the conveniences of civilized life do not exist there--but who dreams of convenience in Rome?
On the evening of their arrival they were sitting in the Senator's room, which was used as the general rendezvous. Dick was diligently writing.
"Dick," said the Senator, "what are you about?"
"Well," said Dick, "the fact is, I just happened to remember that when I left home the editor of the village paper wished me to write occasionally. I promised, and he at once published the fact in enormous capitals. I never thought of it till this evening, when I happened to find a scrap of the last issue of his paper in my valise. I recollected my promise, and I thought I might as well drop a line."
"Read what you have written."
Dick blushed and hesitated.
"Nonsense! Go ahead, my boy!" said Buttons.
Whereupon Dick cleared his throat and began:
"ROME, May 30, 1859.
MR. EDITOR,--Rome is a subject which is neither uninteresting nor alien to the present age."
"That's a fact, or you wouldn't be here writing it," remarked Buttons.
"In looking over the past, our view is too often hounded by the Middle Ages. We consider that period as the chaos of the modern world, when it lay covered with darkness, until the Reform came and said. 'Let there be light!"
"Hang it, Dick! be original or be nothing."
"Yet, if the life of the world began anywhere, it was in Rome. Assyria is nothing to me. Egypt is but a spectacle!"